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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Living a Four Agreements Life

ELIZABETH LAVIN

PHOTOGRAPHY BY i love keeping up with dallas real estate executive Jon Altschuler on Facebook. He often poses thought-provoking questions in his posts—on everything from civics and politics to the Cowboys and coffee shops—sparking debate among friends. A few years back, he wrote about how he had begun following philosophies discussed in The Four Agreements. I’ve come to believe the world would be a better place if we all did the same.

Laid out in a short, beautifully written book by don Miguel Ruiz and based on ancient Toltec wisdom, The Four Agreements shatter self-limiting beliefs that, the book says, “rob us of joy and create needless suffering.” Altschuler first came across it in a Jason Gay column on Tom Brady in The Wall Street Journal. Gay wrote about how the book had become the quarterback’s mantra for life. “I’ve always admired Brady, so anything I can learn about how he’s operating, I want to understand better,” Altschuler says. He was inspired to buy copies of The Four Agreements for everyone in his firm, and they read it as a group. Since then, he has shared the book with more than 100 people, including me.

The commitments are easy to remember—but not so easy to practice: 1. Be impeccable with your word. 2. Don’t take anything personally. 3. Don’t make assumptions. 4. Always do your best.

I thought about the agreements while reporting on our diversity, equity, and inclusion feature in this month’s issue (page 38). According to sources whom Dianté Marigny and I interviewed, making DEI progress is turning out to be a bigger challenge than many leaders imagined. And in some cases, change-making efforts are creating more strife. But conflict often comes before change. I remain hopeful that we can battle through and achieve a better understanding of—and appreciation for—one another. That needs to happen before equity can truly be achieved. Following The Four Agreements seems like a good place to start.

Christine Perez

Editor

D CEO PRESENTS

Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Symposium

September 9, 2021

Renaissance Dallas Hotel | 7:30 a.m.–Noon

This half-day, in-person event o ers opportunities for networking and engaging with key executives and top leaders who are walking the walk when it comes to diversity, equity, and inclusion. For more information on programming and tickets, please visit dmagazine.com/DEI2021

You won’t want to miss this timely and necessary conversation, featuring leaders who are making workplaces more inclusive and equitable for all.

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AMAZON | AMERICAN AIRLINES | BANK OF TEXAS MAKER’S MARK | DALLAS COLLEGE | DELOITTE HAYNES AND BOONE | SAMSUNG | YUM! BRANDS PUBLISHER Gillea Allison

EDITORIAL

EDITOR Christine Perez MANAGING EDITOR Will Maddox ONLINE MANAGING EDITOR Bianca R. Montes ASSOCIATE EDITOR Kelsey J. Vanderschoot ASSISTANT EDITOR Ben Swanger CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Richard Alm, W. Michael Cox EDITORIAL INTERNS Shefali Konda, Maria Lawson, Dianté Marigny, Lauren Stone

ART

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ASK THE EXPERT

Persuasion Skills, Part 4: Using Freedom of Choice

ROGGE DUNN, CEO, ROGGE DUNN GROUP

c-level execs, managers, and doctors make sales pitches every day. Whether you’re trying to motivate an employee, sell goods or services, obtain funding from a PE firm, or win an argument with family or friends, persuasion skills are essential. This article details another proven persuasion technique.

What is the freedom of choice concept? Individuals naturally desire to act freely in their own self-interest, so how can you persuade them to your point of view? One proven technique is utilizing freedom of choice. This theory posits that individuals want to protect their autonomy, and reject messages restricting their freedoms. Therefore, it’s imperative to address the listener’s desire for freedom of choice. Do this by interacting with the listener in ways that promote their perceived locus of control. You don’t want the listener thinking your ideas are a threat to their ability to say no.

Messaging freedom of choice Whether you are in a business negotiation or a heated argument with your spouse, when you present someone an idea or opinion, they often reject it simply because it was not their idea. This instinctive response is an emotionally charged defense mechanism people raise when they worry that their freedom of choice is at risk. It’s not based on logical thought, so it often leads to unfavorable outcomes for one or both parties. To avoid this instinctive shut down, your sales pitch must appeal to the listener’s strong desire for freedom of choice.

Utilizing reverse psychology Present your ideas and sales pitch in ways the listener perceives to be their own. Whose ideas do we tend to like the best? People impulsively favor their own ideas, which is part of the freedom of choice psychology. Similar to reverse psychology, the concept facilitates the persuader pushing their agenda while at the same time, allowing the listener to believe they agreed on their own terms. Anyone with children knows that when you tell a child not to do something, usually it causes them to want to do it even more. By giving a child (or anyone you’re trying to convince) the perception that they are making a choice, the perceived threat to their freedom decreases and your sales pitch is more likely to succeed. See Brehm and Brehm’s 1981 book on The Theory of Freedom and Control. The freedom of choice technique requires you to first establish that the listener has a choice, and then tailoring your message to emphasize the listener’s ability to choose. Confirm their autonomy by saying something like “You’re free to decide what you want to do” or “I know it’s your decision.” This approach enables you to introduce your idea without eliciting an immediate opposite and negative reactive response. Structure your sales pitch with suggestions for several different paths the listener has the choice of taking—all of which subliminally lead them to the answer you want. Freedom of choice is a successful persuasive technique because individuals are more likely to agree to an idea when you lead them to believe they were the ones to think of it. Use 500 N. Akard Street, Suite 1900 Dallas, Texas 75201 it to make your next sales 214.888.5000 | info@roggedunngroup.com pitch successful. ROGGE DUNN represents companies, executives and entrepreneurs in business and employment matters.

These include the CEOs/ presidents of American Airlines, Baker Hughes, Beck Group, Blucora, Crow Holdings, Dave & Busters, Gold’s Gym, Kinko’s, Texas Motor Speedway, Texas Capital Bancshares, Texas Tech University, and Whataburger.

Dunn’s Corporate clients include Adecco, Beal Bank, Benihana, Cawley Partners, CBRE, Match.com, RentA-Center, and Outback Steakhouse.

In 2021 Dunn was included in DCEO Magazine’s Dallas 500 list, which recognizes the most influential business leaders in North Texas.

He has been honored as a Texas Super Lawyer every year that award has been given and recognized as one of the top 100 attorneys in Texas by Texas Monthly (a Thompson Reuters service) and a D Magazine Best Lawyer 12 times.