Mental Health Welcoming a New Baby

by Diana Brummer, MSW, LCSW Good Mental Health LLC

There is nothing more exciting than the anticipation of welcoming a new baby into our lives. Whether we are growing for the first time from a family of two to three or expanding our family of three or more, nothing can quite prepare us for the adjustment that comes with adding a new family member... but, we have to try!

We read all the books, we paint the room, we gather clothes and blankets and diapers and advice. We eat the right things and avoid the wrong ones while trying to get plenty of sleep while we still can.

Just as we would take good care of our physical bodies during pregnancy, and prepare our physical space for the arrival of baby, we must also prepare ourselves and our relationships for the adjustments that will have to occur. From a psychological standpoint, growing a family is one of the most difficult life stage transitions we will navigate in our lifetime. It would make sense to prepare for it physically, along with mentally and emotionally as well.

Remember that both grief and joy are part of the process.

Often overlooked during the anticipation of baby's arrival is the reality that most of us will grieve the life we previously had. No matter how much we are looking forward to this new chapter, the previous chapter must end for the new to begin. The time we may have had for each other as a couple, or the undivided attention we previously gave our older child will be noticeably missing. There may be feelings of longing, and even sadness, for the way things used to be. Remind each other that it's okay to be sad during this time of change and adjustment. Be kind to yourself and to each other while the initial adjustment takes place.

Prioritize traditions and routines

As simple as it seems, being consistent with traditions and routines can help ease the transition into the new normal. Be intentional about spending one on one time every day. Alternate taking care of your older child's bedtime routine so that both parents continue to have equal opportunity to participate. As partners who are now parents, wake up a bit earlier to have coffee together in the morning or stay up a bit later in the evening to check in with each other and talk. Small deposits in each other's emotional bank accounts pay huge dividends.

Share how you're feeling

Being a parent is one of the most challenging, yet most fulfilling, roles we will ever fill. Despite the myriad of books on the topic, there is no one-size-fits-all instruction manual for parenthood. What worked for others may not work for us. It's important to communicate how we're feeling, to speak up when something feels uncomfortable, ask for help when we need it, or ask for space when we don't. Communicating our boundaries kindly but directly is how we protect and preserve our relationships, just as recognizing that asking for help is actually a sign of strength that builds connection versus weakness. Should you find that you or your family need support during this time of transition and adjustment, we are here for you.

Good Mental Health, LLC is a counseling and coaching practice located in St. Johns, Florida, offering services to individuals, couples, and families. With sessions available face-to-face and online, we hope to provide the tools and skills necessary to heal past wounds, grow healthy relationships, and build strong families. For more information, read more about us or contact us at www.GoodMentalHealthLLC. com.

As a therapist, I help clients from all walks of life feel, function, and communicate better; teaching them the skills they need to access their own resiliency and strength, empowering them to be their own best advocates and to mindfully create the lives they desire.

Lattacoaching.com heart objective creator the matter, seamlessly, all while painting a picture of opportunity that includes an objective view that is universal and inclusive of each subject. She has a natural and deep perceptive way of listening that makes one comfortable, at ease, and open to move to grow. Her natural ability to bring out the best in each one is truly a gift to experience.

"I am a Life Artist who coaches, constructs, and coordinates, the colors of our lives to produce a vision and view that reflects the internal hue. As a result I produce the coordinated effect upon the white canvas to overcome the ultimate fear, the fear of the unknown called, "The Art of Transformation", which consistently and confidently connects us to the "Continuum" of life."

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