BOOK OF HAFFENDEN: “GO WITH THE FOUND SELF” BY Dr. Ian G. Haffenden
My Philosophy: Go with the Found Self Preface What follows is philosophy. It is a philosophy for individuals and groups. It relates to an approach to personal pursuits in life. These might include happiness, satisfaction, achievement, contentment or maintaining the status quo. Philosophy here is about process and focus in the pursuit of wisdom. I am not trying to instruct anyone on what to think, what to feel or what to do. What I will suggest is a process and range of focuses to help enable the reader to “Find themselves” and then “Go with the Found Self”. Introduction Reason and Reality It is important to know where philosophy fits into the realm of experience – why it is important in everyday situations. Whilst I consider the approach given in “Go with the Found Self’ to be worthy of consideration as stand alone, I wish to invoke thought on its location in everyday experience. Knowing and being in this world arise through our experience of it. This comes via sense data from our sense receptors – which includes the brain where our consciousness is located. The steps in our everyday conscious experience are important to recognize in understanding our acquisition of knowing and being. Initially, following birth, experience is based on basic instincts. Over a period of time a ‘register’ of experiences in the brain, as receptor of sense data received, is developed. This register becomes the base point of our consciousness. As our sense data generates patterns of events, through repetition of experiences over time, this leads to familiarization and recognition. Recognition represents our individual expectation of the sense data and of the situation that has generated it. Increased awareness of and ability to utilize the senses (such as balance) and bodily functions (such as walking) support early development often through trial and error until the (potentially) fully functioning individual emerges. The functioning person becomes subject to the process of primary and secondary socialization. This provides codes for recognition of cultural norms, rules, regulations and expectations that others (individual, plural and institutional) hold on each individual and their interpretation of experience. With maturity, education (including the ability to question and reason) and experience, a level of individual independence allows for an identification of preferences in action in relations to perceived choices. Definitions of reality can be accepted or not. Situation Analysis Enter a situation (current state of ‘Found Self’ applying). Situation recognition occurs. The extent of recognition and familiarization with the situation generates the appropriate emotional sense awareness need (or readiness). The higher the level of recognition, the greater the ‘predictability’ of the situation. Critical analysis of the predicted situation (i.e. critical prediction) leads to the choice of responses evoked and the subsequent choice of action (if any) taken. Clearly the choice of action depends ultimately on the individuals own expectations, will to act and overall agenda on life. Enter an unfamiliar situation or a situation into which an unexpected event occurs. Recognition and ability to critically predict the on-going events are limited by the extent of the ‘newness of situation’. An increased state of (possibly acute) emotional awareness and (primeval) sense readiness is evoked by the uncertainty. The level of ability to part-recognize and part-predict the on-going events affects the range of choices that can be made. A level of trial and error (or retraction from situation if necessary) may occur until the situation experienced returns to more familiar and recognizable. To conclude, it is considered here that the extent to which you can ‘Find Yourself’ and are able to ‘Go with the Found Self’ aids in the choice of situations you enter, how and why they are entered, the level of recognition, reading, choice of response and action taken. Even in unexpected situations the higher the level of internal harmony felt the better the ability of an individual to remain calm and take a personal command of the situation.
‘Go with the Found Self’ – For Tom and Jo and all that follow –
1. Let this be said ….. “Find Yourself”
That is life’s quest for us all: Find Yourself All, and what peace we find, lie in this goal. At each age, at each stage, we are along this pathway.
{Some find it soon and work with it and/or redefine it. Some never find it. Some find it in striving for it. Some find it alone. Some find it together and with others – FIND IT IF YOU CAN}
2. To “Find Yourself” …. What I can do is help you as a guide … give you pointers for your: way, path, programme ….
Remember that education is just the “sharing between generations”.
All I can do is share some of the things I think are helpful … and hope they help you.
(N.B. There are limits to which the ‘old’ can help guide the ‘very young’. It is not that they are generations apart but that they are at different ends of very different journeys. One must have travelled some way or at least know about the other’s journey to be able to learn from it.)
3. All Life is about is …. Growth and Healing (or growth and renewal/ development and maintenance)
These two concepts and their relationship must be understood in each aspect (compartment or division) of Life. Understanding them and using them is a key to “Finding Yourself” and being happy and successful with it.
…. Growth and healing – think about it.
4. Aspects of Growth and Healing require ….
The beauty of the blooming flower The warmth of spirit and character The strength of spirit and character The knowledge of mind, body and emotion and the way they work
Growth and Healing are a “Cyclic Balance”
Growth
Healing
……………………….
5. Strength of spirit and character requires ….
Coolness, Calmness, and Control on the outside ….
with deep within the spirit of a fire burning, an engine churning, deep, focussed at the centre of the body a large strong heart pumping …. steadily, purposefully, onwardly, outwardly.
6. To “Find Yourself” …. learn to
….
Know thyself well Know thy: family, relations, and ancestors
Know thy friends well Know thy history … where you are and how you got there.
Keep an eye on the Future.
{The Present is the act of writing a history. The Past unfolds not the future. Time allows a special present to move forward in the process of unrolling a Past. Future is history that is waiting to be written – an unrolled Past}
7. Time will require that you are ….
Pliable and flexible with your Route through life.
You may need note the course changes as well as make them …. Some will be permanent, others temporary.
8. Seek out the place ….
Where you belong Where you feel right Where you feel good Where you are safe “WHERE YOU FIT IN”
and
“WHERE YOU ARE HAPPY”
But be aware the place may change or need to.
9.
Growth and Healing is ….
About fitness of mind, emotions and body
Fitness of MIND, EMOTIONS and BODY is about ….
“DIET”
DIET is CENTRAL to everything about “FINDING YOURSELF”
10. Diet involves ….
“All that is consumed and how …”
This includes:
feeling
breathing eating drinking exercise & sleeping cleaning thinking speaking reading listening seeing ….. Etc. You need to nurture the blossoming self to become beautiful in yourself.
Seek a DIET of “well-being” and for “well-being”
11. Be aware of (the cyclic) Balance …. in your life ….
Balance in your breathing (inward growth/ outward healing) Balance in your eating and drinking Balance in your bodily activity and its effects …. Balance in the cleansing of the mind, emotion and body: ~ FROM: Growth and Healing ~ FOR Growth and Healing
The balance of growth and healing is the balance of diet (of & for well-being)
12. Finding Yourself the ….
Parts of a perfect day Parts of a perfect life
For this you need to find the ….
COMMON CONTRIBUTING PARTS FOR YOU
13. Some common contributing parts for me have included…. Productivity, activity, resultant effect Creativity, creation, improvement Economic, purchase, viability, transaction Stimulation, enthusiasm, crafted skill Structure, analytic, conceptual Something bounded and well done Contentment, satisfaction, affective happiness Personal Growth and Healing in a sense of HOME and/or COMMUNITY.
For me a perfect day would have one, some or many of these contributing parts … particularly “creative economic” or “creative productive.” …. But for you?
14. To be happy and at One with the world ….
You must be happy and at one with Yourself
“Finding Yourself” requires that you ….
Re-read and Re-think what you have read and thought so far …. and how you feel about it.
15. The importance and power in ….
Growth and Healing lies in the truth, that the balance can (in many domains) be that of a PENDULUM.
To study “growth and healing” is to understand the “ebb and flow” of the concept of Balance in “growth and healing”.
You will need to become good at judging the measure of balance and the position of swing in your daily affairs.
16. Keep smiling and be positive on the outside whatever …. and whatever you feel on the inside.
Always try and arrive at constructive outcomes for you – without loss of face – in transactions and general communication.
Value the power of persuasion, but nurture and value a sense of fair judgement too.
Be loyal and honest with your true friends. Always try to be the friend you would want them to be (within the balance of healing and growth).
17.
Growth and Healing Can,
does and will leave scars (on you and others). You will make mistakes and learn
from them.
But, be wise. Void unnecessary mistakes.
Don’t learn from your own mistakes when it is possible to have learnt from others. There are enough genuine mistakes to make, and learn from, without the folly of ingenuous ones. (A fool to others is bad enough – a fool to yourself is worse.) “Finding Yourself” requires coming to terms with your scars. Be honest about them. They will be visible to others as well as to you.
[The fewer scars you can make in any domain the better. A wise one really does learn as much from others as from themselves.]
18. Wisdom comes …. from the ability to learn ….
Both from your own experience and that of others.
There is “growth and healing” in the abilty to learn and in the learning process.
Thus, there is ”growth and healing” in wisdom too.
To be wise is to have knowledge and good judgement. In “Finding Yourself” you will need to be wise.
{Philosophy is the pursuit of wisdom – this is a worthy cause}
We need a diet for Wisdom.
19. Times can be difficult and trying …. within a day, an hour, an instant, the pendulum can swing ….
“Find Yourself” … the best, most appropriate, the flowering self;
the self of growth, the self of healing …. …”Find Yourself” again and again on these days …
Learn to “Find Yourself” quickly . [Remember who you are and want to be – keep the blossoming self outwards]
N.B. The “Self” is comprised of your mind, emotions, and body.
20. In partnerships (& communities) “Finding Yourself” will involve ….
“Finding Yourselves” as separate parts of a
new and evolving: “Finding Ourselves.”
The whole ‘Ourself’ will be more than the sum of the separate ‘yourselves’, as they are more than the sum of their component parts.
There can be need for sensitivity and compromise in partnerships
…. There is the dual responsibility of keeping sight of ‘Finding Yourself’ within a larger “Finding Ourself”.
Equal balance of Growth and Healing need be applied to both.
21. Use Growth and Healing to ….
Seek improvement in
“FINDING YOURSELF”
Know your weaknesses as well as your strengths.
Strive to be aware of growing and healing your: Strengths and Weaknesses Seek always to improve on both.
It is harder to improve your weaknesses, as scars left from them can take longer to heal. Where possible turn your weaknesses to strengths so as to heal them quicker as growth.
See weaknesses as a challenge to become strengths.
22. Avoid dogma ~ your own and others.
You don’t have to believe in anything you don’t want to.
You don’t have to have faith for the sake of it.
No political or religious order can be better than an approximation at “getting it right”.
You can learn from these “approximations” but be careful not to be taken in by them ~ unless you choose to.
I have chosen not … You must choose for yourself.
{Religiously – I believe if there is an after life then there is ~ I’ll wait and see ~ I expect nothing so I’ll be happy either way.}
I don’t believe in a creator as it would need a creator too etc. etc. … which is nonsense.
23. Heaven is here and now …
It’s what you make of it.
When you “find yourself” you will find Heaven for you …
Being in the right place and right situation/ attitude for you.
In “Finding Yourself” you are finding those places and situations ~ being able to create and frequent them.
When you find them you have the greatest potential for Growth and Healing.
The sense of Being and Happiness experienced then/ there is heavenly and that presence of feeling is my only use for the word God. The happy ‘presence’ when in heavenly moments.
24. Laughter and Crying can both …
Help in Growth & Healing. They are cathartic extremes of emotion and are there to be used. Don’t be afraid to laugh and cry in “Finding Yourself”.
Laughter for Growth & Healing.
Crying for Growth & Healing.
{They can stop the direction of the swing and restore the balance.}
25. Seek to heighten your awareness … Of your senses and your ability to be sensitive to them and small changes they record.
Seek to Find time for Yourself:
For your MIND, your EMOTIONS, & your BODY to Grow and Heal, and to Relax and become aware of your senses.
26. ‘Finding Yourself’ …
enables ‘Being Yourself’ … being true to yourself … to happen.
[“Finding Yourself” requires that you … Re-read and Re-think what you have read and thought so far (especially from para. 15 onwards)]
27. Growth and Healing are both energy flows that are natural and affect and effect all the domains of the thoughts (mental, mind, spirit) and the actions (physical, body, soul) as well as the emotions (heart, feelings, hormones).
(The visible and the invisible forces.) (| ~ material)
(| ~ flux)
[Growth & Healing are essentially the same energy flow.]
28.
A Philosophy to be useful needs to be simple and applicable …
Wisdom is found in it’s appropriate interpretation and use. (Be careful on interpretation and use.)
29. It is wise in thought and action to adopt an appropriate contextualised perspective on life …
This requires that instant and day-to-day actions of a myopic (short sighted) need be set always within the broader hypermetropia (long-sighted) need and context.
[N.B. i) Don’t take short-term gain at long-term cost ~ unless absolutely necessary ~ as the long term is a long time to bear the cost. ii) Don’t kill the future for the sake of the present. iii) Don’t kill your unrolled history.]
30. Take each day as it comes …
but …
only in the context of the days that will follow.
Don’t let the heart/body rule the mind. Don’t let the mind rule the heart/body. Balance the mind and the heart/body so that each can grow and heal.
31. Finding Yourself requires … that you relate to the external material and social world (p.39) wisely and the internal world of your own self/being. There are three key foci to the internal world of your own being.
32. The three foci to your own being are …
Your body (actions) whose power base lay behind and to the rear of the muscles in the vicinity of your navel (between the stomach muscles that lift the lying body and those that lift the legs when lying).
Your mind (thoughts) whose power base lay to the centre rear of the brain (found when shutting down the brain activity in meditation and rest), and Your heart (emotions) which lay directly in line and between the focus of the mind and the body.
All three require attention and the cyclic balance of Growth & Healing.
33. Through meditation and relaxation …
identify, explore and develop the three foci of the self: mind, heart and body.
“Find Yourself” internally and externally.
34. Always try and have something to show for your time … For time is so precious and its use so important … is not to be wasted.
35. There are things in life that were just meant to happen, yet don’t.
“Find Yourself”, “be yourself” and for you make them happen.
It is up to you to understand and shape your world/ life ~ do it wisely … don’t miss out on what counts: mentally, physically and emotionally.
To make things happen requires that you “attack life” … positively with energy and enthusiasm.
36. “Finding Yourself” will lead to finding “The Way” for yourself …
The passage of the body (or the body’s passage) through life with the union of the individual’s (your) thoughts, feelings and actions…
To improve and refine “Your Way” you must maximise the potential of the Body: thought, feeling and action.
… This requires the ‘harmonizing’ of the union of thought with feeling with action. 37.
The path one chooses in ‘Finding Yourself’ should be consistent with the harmonizing of thought with feeling with action.
Harmonizing the union of thought with feeling with action requires choosing the path that most suitably aligns with the flow of the particular context – the river of your present time and place (and culture).
Which part (section) of the river you ride ~ the opportunities & experiences you encounter ~ depends on the confidence you have in yourself and the ends you seek.
Your passage through the river may result in a change of course for yourself and others.
Choice is the balance between Growth and Healing.
38. When you have “Found Yourself” …
It will be possible to align the harmony of the union of your thoughts with your feelings with your actions …
… within the flow of the currents of your present time and place.
When you have “FOUND YOURSELF” you will be capable of aligning your thoughts with your feelings with your actions in the pursuit of your Goals.
39. When you have found “Your True Self” …
You will have found Heaven for You …
… Then … at all times … ‘Go with the Found SelF’ …
… and make things happen for you.
40. “Find Yourself Heavens” …
In your thoughts (mental Heavens)
In your feelings (emotional Heavens)
In your actions (physical Heavens)
All the senses can produce an emotional Heaven, generate a mental Heaven via a bodily Heaven (etc.)
[Remember & cherish these moments as most accomplishments – status, recognition, achievement – are the by-products of finding yourself Heavens for you.]
41. To “KNOW YOURSELF” (re the Delphi oracle)
Is wisdom …
To “FIND YOURSELF” & “GO WITH THE FOUND SELF”
Is philosophy.
[N.B. Wisdom is not given or taken, but ‘Found’]
42. This is Your life …
It is Your journey …
Get the diet right so that you can make the journey you have chosen and complete it. To do this you need to apply the harmonious union of the Mind, Emotion and Body to each and every task.
[The story may end but the process of Growth & Healing is rarely.]