e-magazine for all things coastal Delaware
What a pleasure to do life TOGETHER, and do it WELL! Connecting in a meaningful way is one of the most fulfilling components to a rich life. We are engaged and committed to help you explore a better day as we LOVE LIVING HERE™.
Len Hayduchok
Delaware Retiree Advisor
Nanine Gallo
Marketing Director
Makopano Mutloatse
Editor
Bridget Fitzpatrick
Resident Journalist
Nina Hall Graphic Designer
The Delaware Retiree Connection™ Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 www.DelawareRetiree.com www.facebook/DelawareRetiree
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After the initial eagerness that comes with brand-new retirement, three or four-year-new retirees start the battle with unexpected guilt.
“Feeling guilty after the reality of retirement is quite common,” says Joe Hearn of the BLOG Intentional Retirement. The transition of having more time can surprise people who spent decades working on hyper-speed obligations, deadlines and raising a family. “It’s normal,” he insists, “and should eventually settle down once adjustments are made.”
You may start feeling guilty because you are aware of your work cessation while plenty of others keep going to work (for reasons of their own). For many in retirement, this can create a sense of guilt.
Stephen M. Albert, PhD of University of Pittsburgh’s division of public health, likens it to a sort of survivor guilt, when new time on your hands and the ability to survive without work obligations distorts your own feelings of deserving what you worked for.
Not all retirements are planned. Some retire ments may be due to drastic employment changes or a medical or disability issue abruptly ceasing the ability to work in a current profession. A change of steady income is quite daunting to many, even if they’ve planned and contributed to retirement for years.
Balance is key. On one side, extreme lifestyle adjustment, such as toning down the choices at a restaurant or suddenly scrutinizing every purchase can actually cause harm to your health. However, an honest examination of your spending habits may reveal stressors you don’t need, such as magazine subscriptions or kids still on your family cell phone plan. Rather than skimp on a memorable dinner, examine frivolous expenditures you simply don’t need anymore.
Then there can be regret or even jealously for others’ continued “productivity.” But rethink this: shouldn’t retirement mean more productivity in something you have a passion for or simply enjoy?
Instead of feeling guilty about what you could be doing with your own time, consider how you could be spending time with others, volunteering, or reaching out to unfamiliar neighbors – especially if
you have relocated and feel suddenly isolated from your usual routines with friends.
Explore your surroundings. Go to a park close-by you’ve known is there but never tried. Foster a dog or join a book club. There are opportunities all around especially in our beautiful coastal community.
If anxiety and depression are a growing concern because of your unexpected emotions, experts emphasize that social interaction is important as well as maybe counseling, whether it is through ministry or a professional counselor. Perhaps travel can be an elixir, and it need not be extravagant. Changes in scenery allow us to enjoy the present and put the past aside a while. Remember, you are in a chapter you have worked for a very long time. Give yourself a break and most importantly, re-learn how to play like you did when you were a child. As Oliver Wendell Holmes said,
“ “
People do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing.
My first grandchild, a healthy baby boy was born just a week ago, and of course I am beaming. “There’s nothing better than your baby having a baby,” a friend has told me countless times. How true!
I am eager to finally visit the many fantastic places around our coastal community to feed my passion for baby clothes, toys and more. Since I’m a newbie at this, I’ve asked a few seasoned grandparents to weigh in on their local favorites.
By, Bridget Fitzpatrick
A neighbor with four little ones under age three introduced me to Fairy Godmother on 2nd Street in Lewes. The store is filled with gorgeous boutique-style clothing, plus a few heirloom-worthy items. (And…I learned they offer free gift wrapping and shipping on all orders – no minimum. What a bonus for those of us with large families far away!)
Footsteps down the street, there’s a delightful toy store reminiscent of the kind from my long ago childhood. Offering a delightful variety of puzzles, stuffed animals, and children’s clothing up to size 14, Kids’ Ketch is a Lewes mainstay since 1990. It’s definitely not just for babies; it’s also a favorite for older children. If you’re looking for educational toys, you are sure to find stimulating games and gadgets
to entertain (and teach, because don’t we grandparents love that?).
Rehoboth Beach also has plenty to offer for practical and adorable gifts. A neighbor with school age grandchildren enthuses about her top recommendation: Browseabout Books on Rehoboth Avenue. “Well Read Since 1975” is their motto, and their selection of children’s books rivals big box stores. If your grandchild is an avid reader (or you want them to be), this store is a must-see!
If you are browsing for yourself too (why not?), there’s a popular women’s boutique that also features children’s clothing and footwear. Sole Boutique, also on Rehoboth Avenue is an affordable venue with a large selection of independent clothing lines perfect for baby and you!
A favorite tradition for many seasonal Rehoboth visitors is to check out the latest children’s fashions at The Lilypad. Its owner, Kim Carey prides herself in stocking her store with unique, high-end clothing and gifts from around the world. She also offers a friendly online store, if you’d prefer to shop from home.
Of course, there are plenty of additional locations in the Tanger Outlets on Coastal Highway that carry national brands of
children’s specialties, such as Osh Kosh B’Gosh, Carters and Build a Bear Workshop. I suppose I’ll make my rounds there as well.
My preference is to first support local businesses. There’s something special about choosing a one of a kind gift while investing in our southern Delaware community. I think I’ll be doing a lot of that, since grandparents have the right to indulge those grandkids, don’t we? Plus, I was recently informed that a second one from another child of ours is on the way. Hooray! More reasons to shop!
There is no doubt that the holiday season can be stressful! So much to do, to prepare, and then somehow find time to enjoy it. (And don’t forget, you’re supposed to relax too!) But maybe this is just what we need for the holidays–a minute to think on what’s really important. Here are some suggestions for the holidays, their meaning and importance in our lives. Reflect. The winter solstice forces all of us to be indoors much more. Why not use that time to light a few candles, listen to music you actually enjoy and reflect on the good (not the negative) that has happened during the year? Journaling is a great way to reflect, and keep notes to review your thoughts at momentous times, like this year’s holidays.
Simplify. Many of us place undue stress on ourselves to keep up with traditions, even if they take up unreasonable amounts of time. Do you really need to become a cookie factory or have the best decorations on the block? Simplifying is a great way to free up your time so you can enjoy more. Why not pick the few things you LOVE the most about traditions and hold on to those, while loosening your commitment to all the extras you don’t even like much. Connect. Surround yourself with those you want to be near. When distance doesn’t allow, ZOOM and other online meetings are a great second-best.
Be Real. Learn to say “No, thank you.” Not all invitations are obligations! AND how
about accepting offers of help. Chances are the offers are genuine, and it actually will give that person joy knowing they gave the gift of their time.
Monitor spending. Gift buying gets expensive quickly, causing more potential stress now and later on. Yes, it is better to give than to receive, but people’s expectations are probably lower than you may think. How about a little more thought, and a little less cost to some of those gifts? Make a plan to start earlier rather than later, so you don’t feel crunched by time. Surprise someone. Give a call to an old friend, such as a neighbor you recently left in order to move to Delaware. Who doesn’t love getting an unexpected call like that? It will help put the holidays in a better light while you share memories or a good laugh. Stay healthy. It’s easy to get off track during the holidays with the abundance of food and drink. But you won’t feel healthy, just guilty! Pace yourself. The holidays are a marathon, not a sprint. With proper planning, you may enjoy activities more such as decorating, baking, gift buying, etc. if you don’t rush.
Trending right now, for example, is sending greeting cards after the holidays when there is more free time. Plus, it wishes people a Happy New Year and extends that holiday feeling.
Here’s to a joyous holiday season to enjoy and relax (for REAL)!
You don’t want to miss the 2022 Lewes Lights! Each year, there are dazzling holiday displays lighting up this amazing city with a small-town feel. It is magical to behold (and somewhat magically organized).
On the 4th of July, 2020, it all began when Lewes resident Christian Murrins was sitting on his porch on Savannah Road, wondering how he could bring a new tradition to Lewes in a year filled with cancellations of beloved city traditions, such as the annual fireworks show, house tours and a Christmas parade. Lewes Lights was born with light-speed planning. Residents immediately jumped on board to join the movement! More than 100 homeowners signed to participate on the official tour, and many others added to the fun with their own decorations. The concept was so
popular that over 60 additional houses just outside the city of Lewes limits also signed up to participate.
Together with co-chair Debrah Evards and the mayor’s office, the event was impeccably organized. It’s a safe driving tour with three different routes available: Rudolph Red, Garland Green and Frosty Blue. And to add to the fun, it can get competitive.
Interactive Google is available on the Lewes Lights website. Because you will drive slowly to soak it all in, visitors are asked to turn on their four-way hazard lights to alert other drivers. A video tutorial on how to use the Google Maps feature is also on the website – it’s very high tech, but it’s very informative. Some of the homeowners have added descriptions of their homes, or info on their decoration theme.
Competition for the participants is optional, with awards being given in 10 categories. (Photos of the winners of past year’s are on the website, and they are awesome!) There’s even a category for the best decorated street, a nod to neighborly enthusiasm and cooperation. Businesses also jumped in, turning this year’s decorations up a notch in support of this hometown display of good cheer. Lewes Lights is family friendly, and definitely something you don’t want the grandkids to miss! A new Lewes annual tradition has indeed been born, thanks to the joint effort of Lewes residents. So, join in on the magic of lights on beautiful
winter nights! For more information, the new 2022 schedule and more, check out the website closer to Thanksgiving, and throughout the dark nights of Decem ber, right up to New Year’s Eve, enjoy the spectacle and creativity (dusk to 9 pm every evening).
New events this year include an historical tour, the Clark Griswold competition and more. The Lewes Lights slogan makes sense: “Making Spirits Bright.”
Have you noticed how many dogs there are in southern Delaware?
On the beach, the boardwalks, the trails, at this dog park or that one, in pet-friendly restaurants across the area…. they’re EVERYWHERE!!! Chances are, one (or many more than one) of the pooches you’ve petted have been adopted from local shelters or private rescue organizations. Delaware is hands-down one of the most dog friendly states in the country. Did you know that it is the first and only designated No-Kill state? And that has a lot to do with the adoption culture so prevalent here. Many of the dogs that end up in Delaware shelters are actually from other states!
As you consider joining this noteworthy trend, here are your adoption options? The two largest local shelters are Delaware Humane Society (DHA), and Brandywine Valley SPCA (BVSPCA). Both offer similar services: all dogs are spayed/neutered, microchipped in case they get lost, receive
vaccines and veterinary care before they are released for adoption.
At DHA, several services are offered, such as vaccination clinics, dog licenses at a reduced rate for seniors, a food pantry, behavior training and more. (In 2018, President-Elect and Dr. Jill Biden adopted ‘Major’, a large German Shepherd mix from DHA!) BVSPCA provides similar services. In addition, they operate a veterinary clinic on-site.
The first step towards adoption is to either visit the shelter in person, where you can see the dogs firsthand and take them outside for some quality time while you decide which might be your match. Or, you can start your search on the DHA/BVSPCA websites, where they have photos and stats about the dog (breed, age, temperament, etc.). Then click to request a visit with that particular dog. Before you make a decision, ask questions of the adoption coordinator or kennel attendant. Is the dog child-friendly or dog-friendly? Does it need to be the sole pet in the home? Is it good on the leash and house-trained? (Most except puppies are.) Many of the dogs available are
senior dogs who have unfortunately lost their owners, so you may want to consider a dog that is already well-behaved, making the transition easier.
If you are not yet ready to adopt, you can also foster a dog temporarily, which is a rewarding experience, and truly helps the shelter make room for new dogs. Many people experience “foster fail,” meaning they fell in love with their foster and ended up adopting. You just have to be prepared for a (good) goodbye should a family be interested in your foster.
Join the dog movement in Delaware! A canine companion is like no other friend in the world. Consider adoption so your new pal can find its “furever” home.
Check out our other articles:
Sedge wren…no, yellow-throated vireo…no, it’s a piping plover! Learn to hear and spot the local waterfowl like a pro. We’ll give you a guide on how to get started. Soon you’ll be identifying all the most popular birds along the Delaware coast (and a few show-stopping unique finds you’ll want to know as you show off your skills).
The First State is a haven for fowl, a rest stop on the way to and from migration destinations, hosting hundreds of thousands of birds year-round in a spectacular display of flight and nesting.
Why Delaware? Because it’s smack in the middle of the Atlantic Flyway – the primary migration highway for birds of all shapes and sizes up and down the entire coast. Retiring and living here provides a privileged and maybe overwhelming view of hundreds of species of birds.
So how do you get started when there’s so much to explore and learn?
Gear up! Start with Delaware’s state parks and wildlife refuges, such as Prime Hook and Bombay Hook. Both are navigable day trips from Southern Delaware.
Bring your binoculars and that outerwear you’ve been itching to use, and discover the difference between a kestrel and a falcon. Learn why Delaware state’s marine animal (the horseshoe crab) is essential to migratory birds’ and other local critters’ survival!
Find a field guide, or venture on your own to prepare for a feast of flying beauties in all kinds of weather. It takes some practice to focus and identify local birds, but when you encounter an eagle, an osprey or a peregrine falcon, you’ll be the envy of your fellow birders!
Volunteer for Hawk Watch, an annual bird count that tracks the progress of important migratory birds. Or, volun teer for the state’s Shorebird Project to help protect the First State’s wildlife. Visit Delaware Birding Trail’s website for tips on where and when to spot certain species. Attend one of Delmarva Birding’s field trips that feature passionate experts to introduce you to the art of birding regardless of your level of experience.
Delaware is home to a US Air Force base, but it’s also home to a different kind of air force (the aviary kind). Renowned amongst birders of all levels, it’s a fascinating destination
both inland and on the pristine coast. Over 1,000 species of birds that visit our special peninsula understand this: Delaware is prime for relaxing while waiting for the next flight to your destination.
Need a quick getaway? The perfect minivacation is right on your doorstep. Take a day, bring your hat and sunglasses to the Lewes Ferry Terminal, and plan for a staycation or day trip to Cape May and beyond!
If you haven’t tried it yet, you’re missing a delightful voyage. For 56 years, the Cape May-Lewes Ferry has been transporting thousands of passengers year-round across the Delaware Bay for obvious reasons (bypassing traffic, getting there faster). How about a day trip? It’s a local “secret.” Don’t just sit on the dock of the bay…explore it!
Experience what all the buzz is all about on a scenic, 85-minute ride. Cruise across the bay while soaking in the picturesque scenery, including the historic lighthouses and dolphins and whales. Enjoy the sea breezes in an Adirondack chair on the deck on your way for a day trip or staycation to romantic, Victorian Cape May. Traveling with Fido? Four-legged companions are welcomed on the ferry! Grandkids love the maritime adventure too. In Cape May, the kids can enjoy the Cape May County Park & Zoo. Or, take them for a stroll on the historic boardwalk followed by ice cream at Fine Fellows
Creamery. While you wait for the return trip to Lewes, let the kids stay entertained by playing free miniature golf at the terminal!
For all of you landlubbers, don’t miss out on all of the fun happening at the ferry terminals, where there’s live music, festivals and fabulous cuisine. Take advantage of a glorious sunrise with a cup of joe from Lewes Coffee Company. Or enjoy a meal and a local brew with sunny waterfront views at Grain on the Rocks.
In summer and fall, join your friends on a sunset harbor cruise on the bay, departing from the terminal. Then, check out Grain’s “Rocking the Docks” outdoor concert series. Who’d guess how entertaining a ferry terminal can be?
Across the bay, Cape May’s terminal is just as lively, with free outdoor concerts on the lawn and live music at On the Rocks. It’s a fabulous site for sunset-watching!
Discover the magic the Cape May – Lewes Ferry offers. Relax, take a trip on the briny and see for yourself. Enjoy, and AHOY!
If you are new to retirement in Delaware and are wondering about winter entertainment, you’re likely in for a pleasant surprise. So much awaits you! Classical performances, opera, comedy, community theater, Shakespeare readings or magic shows are minutes away.
If classical music is your preference, there are plenty of organizations dedicated to the performing arts, including Delaware Symphony Orchestra, Opera Delaware and closest to home in
southern Delaware, Coastal Concerts, which provides local audiences with world-renowned and professional talent – right in downtown Lewes!
Community theater is abundant in Sussex County. There are multiple choices for entertainment at local feelgood and historic venues. Take in a musical, a comedy act or even a talk with local medium at the nearby Milton Theatre. Not only has it amped up its variety of performances, but it has big plans for upgrades, including more spacious seating. Enjoy a draft and plenty of menu choices offered in the lobby.
Local favorite, Clear Space Theatre of Rehoboth Beach is hands-down the closest thing to quality Broadway-style entertainment, right in our backyard! Its 2022-2023 season features winter delights such as Little Shop of Horrors, Little Mermaid, and Elf the Musical. Plus, there are other individual performances and youth shows featuring students from its Performing Arts Institute, which is taught by several professional actors and producers.
It’s a worthy drive north to the town of Ardenton, DE to attend Candlelight Theatre, It’s dinner theater in a historic barn and intimate setting of only 150 people. In December, why not enjoy the beloved classic, Irving Berlin’s White Christmas the musical. In Milford, Second Street Players at the Riverfront Theater is also in the mix with community performances worthy of a family getaway, including a twist on another holiday classic with ”The Trial of Ebenezer Scrooge” this November and December.
If you enjoy a combination of choral, jazz and intimate classical performance, be sure to check out St. Cecelia Guild at St. Peter’s Church in Lewes. You’ll be in awe of the surroundings within and around this historic church. Full description of concerts at St. Peters is available at this link. And if you haven’t yet done so, take extra time to wander through the fascinating cemetery where countless Lewes famed residents rest.
If you are looking for a local holiday tradition especially suited to families, especially those grandchildren, be sure to check out Winter Wonderfest,
a fantastical evening light display with entertainment throughout the holiday season, located just off Coastal Highway near Milton!
Finally, if you’re a sports spectator, don’t miss Slam Dunk to the Beach, an annual high school basketball spectacle at Cape Henlopen High School. Teams from several schools throughout the Mid Atlantic and beyond showcase their athleticism certain to amaze you. It’s a mecca of future stars; past participants have included LeBron James and Anthony Carmello, among others that went on to stardom in the NBA.
There’s no lack of activities, cultural events and entertainment happening year-round here in our coastal community. Enjoy!
