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Captain’s Log September 2014 It has been a fun-filled summer for the crew at Proud Times and Loud and Proud! We hope you have had similarly awesome experiences which add to your treasure trove of memories. Handing out hundreds of bags full of our advertisers’ materials at OutSpokane’s Pride Festival, we met so many wonderful people. One in particular has come on board as our staff photographer. Welcome Skully Jones! Managing Editor Kurt Schmierer has been working behind the scenes for the past couple of years, and his diligence has benefitted all of us in so many ways. He has connected our writers with Lily Tomlin, Cyndi Lauper, George Takei, Reichen Lehmkuhl, Rodiney Santiago, the Beekman Boys, and many others. Kurt has also arranged access for us at the Spokane Symphony, National Geographic Live!, and The Book of Mormon! These and his other efforts have made Proud Times and Loud and Proud the publications they are to date. Thank you, Kurt! Loud and Proud Managing Editor Jeremy Price-Ballew has continually made all of our lives better by keeping the Proud Times calendar up to date, providing a constant stream of socials (Facebook, Twitter, etc.), and growing the Loud and Proud web presence beyond what I expected. Jeremy’s hard work has also garnered connections with Eric Himan, Against Me, and Siren Sounds—amongst others. His dedication to Proud Times and Loud and Proud has been a saving grace to these publications. For all of these reasons, I am eternally grateful. Our writers also get kudos for their invaluable contributions. J’son M. Lee has proven time and again that he has “the right stuff.” In this issue’s cover story, J’son’s professionalism shines through in his interview with the Executive Director of Washington, D.C.’s SMYAL. His ability to coax information from his
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subjects and share a wealth of knowledge with our readers is a communal asset. C.P. Bussell continues providing an essential understanding of Trans* issues via her interview with one of Spokane’s transgender pioneers. Our Out & Proud Community continues to reap the benefits of knowledge from those who have gone before us. It is up to each of us to listen and learn. Debbi Sullivan has stepped up to the plate once again and introduces our readers to Charles Smaltz. While many of us know Charles, Debbi takes this opportunity to focus on the “hypnotic” side of Mr. Smaltz. Jerry Rabushka augments his tale of Livin’ in the 509, Ricki Zipkin lays out a timeline for those desiring to have smooth sailing on their wedding day, while Ram Michael provides an unapologetic position of Gay Pride! On top of all of that, J Charles Ballew, Jeremy Price-Ballew, and I are proud to share the interviews we had with Lily Tomlin, Cyndi Lauper, and Pierce Cassedy. I am especially pleased to include a poem by the Imperial Sovereign Court of Spokane’s Bobby Brantley in this issue. I happened upon his poem posted on Facebook. Who knew he had this poetic talent? Now, we all do! Together, we can make our world a better place.
Dean Ellerbusch Proud Times Executive Editor
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#9
SEPTEMBER 16 10 18 28 32 50 54
Table of Contents
Spokane Will Be Watching National Geographic Live! A Brief Interview with One of Spokane’s Transgender Pioneers Something To SMYAL About Interview with a “Mormon” And That’s the Truth! - Lily Tomlin Kristine W Brings the Love Home Cyndi Lauper: Friend and Family
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64 66 68 70 72 76 80 86
What a Wonderful Choice It Would Make My Eyes Loud and Proud Featured Artists
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Healing through Hypnotherapy with Charles Smaltz Ricki Zipkin’s Wedding Preparation Plan Top Career Concerns of the Male Escort Livin’ in the 509 Resources
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Spokane Will Be Watching
Proud Times team members were invited by WestCoast Entertainment to learn about a National Geographic Live! four-part event series—and we want to share this unique opportunity with you! Proud Times’ very own photographer, Skully Jones, is especially excited about this series—as she has dreamt of becoming a National Geographic photographer since she was child, with her collection of over 200 National Geographic magazines. The series, which begins this fall, features award-winning photographers, filmmakers, scientists, and explorers—live at the INB Performing Arts Center. The presenters will take audiences on explorations from Antarctica to Mars, and introduce them to remarkable creatures, from biting seals to flesh-eating pigs. “We are extremely excited that we have secured National Geographic Live! coming to the Inland Northwest, “ stated Jack Lucas, WestCoast Entertainment President. “Spokane
is one of just 14 U.S. cities currently scheduled to present the series, which provides an unmatched cultural opportunity.” This inaugural National Geographic Live! season includes underwater photographers David Doubilet and Jennifer Hayes (Oct. 7), NASA Engineer Kobie Boykins (Nov. 4), wildlife photographer Joel Sartore (Feb. 24), and extreme climbing photographers and explorers Cory Richards and Mike Libecki (Apr. 21). The series is presented in partnership with STCU (Spokane Teachers Credit Union). In addition to the four evening events, STCU will host a matinee presentation with NASA engineer Kobie Boykins on November 4, with free admission for students from area schools. Ticket details and seating availability, will be announced by STCU at a later date.
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“STCU is honored to support this rare opportunity,” said Tom Johnson, President and CEO. “While these events are sure to delight all ages, it brings us particular pleasure knowing that young audience members will be inspired by these scientists and explorers. The next Jacques Cousteau or Jane Goodall may trace his or her passion to an evening in Spokane when they experienced the excitement of discovery.”
and-answer sessions with audience members. Following most events, speakers will sign copies of their books or DVDs. Tickets are $150 for all four events, or $41.50 for single events. They are available now at www.ticketswest.com or by calling 800.325.SEAT(7328).
Events will feature award-winning video and still photography, and conclude with question-
Tuesday, 7 October 2014 at 7pm Coral Kingdoms & Empires of Ice: David Doubilet and Jennifer Hayes, Underwater Photographers David Doubilet is one of National Geographic magazine’s most prolific photographers and a legend for his groundbreaking work. His undersea partner, Jennifer Hayes, is an aquatic biologist and a globally published photojournalist. The two will lead a visual journey from their most recent National Geographic assignments, including never-before-seen images from the tropics to the polar ice. Discover the reality of life behind the camera, from parasites to harp seal bites.
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Tuesday, 4 November 2014 at 7pm (with an exclusive school matinee hosted by STCU at 10am) Exploring Mars: The Next Generation: Kobie Boykins, NASA Engineer In 2004, the successful deployment of the Mars Exploration Rovers Spirit and Opportunity launched a new era of scientific investigation of our nearest planetary neighbor. Kobie Boykins, a mechanical engineer at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory, helped design and build the solar arrays that enabled the rovers to keep going long after their planned 90-day life. (Opportunity is still sending back images.) Now, Boykins is involved in our latest venture to Mars, as supervisor of the mobility and remote sensing mast teams for the Curiosity rover, which landed in 2012. Curiosity has sent back evidence that conditions on Mars once could have supported life.
Tuesday, 24 February 2015 at 7pm Grizzlies, Piranhas, & Man-eating Pigs: Joel Sartore, Wildlife Photographer Joel Sartore has been threatened by wildlife, danced with rattlesnakes, and survived traffic accidents in order to document endangered species and incredible landscapes. He has been infected with a flesh-eating parasite. Most recently, he was quarantined for three weeks, due to a Marburg virus scare (bat guano!). All that, to document the spectrum of endangered species for his ongoing Biodiversity Project. Find out what it’s like to be a National Geographic photographer, from someone who has paved the way and reaped the rewards.
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Tuesday, 21 April 2015 at 7pm Untamed Antarctica: Cory Richards and Mike Libecki, Extreme Climbing Explorers and Photographers No one had set foot on Bertha’s Tower until it was climbed by an expedition supported by National Geographic. The team included photographer and filmmaker Cory Richards, and Mike Libecki, a veteran of over 40 expeditions—including first ascents on five continents, plus Oceania. Surrounded by ice, the 2,000-foot spire is battered by winds of near-hurricane force. Libecki and Richards offer a “campfire” style presentation, filled with humor and tales that didn’t make National Geographic magazine’s September 2013 account of the expedition.
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A Brief Interview with One of Spokane’s Transgender Pioneers by C.P. Bussell
Recently, I had the opportunity to interview a local transgender woman who has been in the area for the last 30 years. I will call her “J” in this interview for the sake of privacy. J has been a very good friend over the last 5 years, and a role model for me as I came out and came to terms with my gender identity. She continues to be a mentor to me and often will check me when I am wrong. For this I am eternally grateful.
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I find the stories of what our elders in the Transgender Community went through to be inspiring. I was a child when these ladies were young adult women making their way in a highly transphobic society. I saw what they were going through via the lens of societal disapproval and was unable to transition myself. When I think back... I am ashamed. I knew I was trans* from early on. I didn’t transition because I was afraid of being treated the way my elders were being treated. These women and men who transitioned did the heavy lifting and dangerous work of trailblazing a path for the rest of us. I look at the current attitudes of society as a whole and the progress we have made, and it looks like things will eventually get better for all trans* people. We have come a long
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way in attaining our rights, but we still have far to go.
readers. So, without further fanfare, let’s get down to meat and potatoes.
Hi J. Thank you for agreeing to do this interview. Over the past few years I have had the benefit and pleasure of your friendship, and you have shared some fascinating stories that paint a picture of Spokane’s history with TS (transsexual) women. I would love to share some of that with our
How long have you lived in the area?
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I have lived in the Spokane area for over 30 years. Back in those days, there were two gay bars and the “Loop” (affectionately referred to as “The Fruit Loop”). The Loop consisted of two
one-way streets that people would cruise up and down looking to hook up. I understand you came out as transgender at a young age. How young were you when you came out? I officially came out when I was 12. If the adage is true—that actions speak louder than words— then one could say that I was “out” at around
the age of 3. I fashioned the most wonderful skirts, at 3, out of my Batman pajama tops. My mother was lenient in allowing me to carry one of her old purses—until I went shopping at the five and dime, and proceeded to fill my purse with ill-begotten gains.
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How did local society, friends, and family react to your coming out? Like a lot of transgender people, I was “normal” in the fact that I isolated as I was growing up. I would have to say that my “official” coming out was not very traumatic at all. My father, who prided himself on being very strict and stern, cried and pledged to do whatever was needed to get me the help that I needed. It was very heartfelt and yet confusing to me. When I say “confusing”—allow me to digress—he was a cruel person to me. In hindsight, he knew that I was “different,” and he punished me daily for it. So, this moment of heartfelt emotion was so foreign. As for my mother, by this time, she was so busy swimming around in a bottle of Chablis. The first time my mother ever saw me dressed as a woman, she was in a detox facility (I am not known for having the greatest timing), and she used it as an excuse to solicit consoling attention from anyone she could. In her words, “[She] was traumatized. How dare I do this to her at a time like this!” I figured if she was getting honest and clean, so should I. Shortly thereafter, I started running away from home. We lived 40 miles from San Francisco—and what better place to start living my life as I felt I should be living? For the most part, I was ostracized by my family. I could only assume that if I was vile to my family (they were suppose to love me), that my friends must certainly feel the same. “Adios!” San Francisco was a double-edged sword. In one way it was like “coming home.” But then, it was also a place that a 13-year-old kid should not be. Legitimate business did not employ 13-year-olds, but “tricks” and the whole street life did. I do not regret the experience; it taught
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me valuable lessons. My experiences, from what I understand, are echoed by many TS/TG (Transsexual/Transgender) girls who have gone out into the world. Were there other transgender people in town that you were aware of back then? I came to Spokane when I was 22, which was still relatively young. Without sounding arrogant or conceited, I was very fortunate at that age; I was able to “pass” very easily. By then, I had married a Staff Sergeant in the Air Force and was living in base housing. I was living a very “typical” suburban life. Spokane was not really “hip” to the whole TS/ TG Community at this time, so I didn’t see a lot of attention to issues concerning T girls mainstreaming into society. Spokane, in a way, had its blinders on. There were other transgender people here—most prominent was a lady named Sonia. Before her change, she and her lover Kenny owned and operated the first gay disco in Spokane (Disco 425, located at 425 West 1st). After Sonia had her surgery, she went on to open a hair salon on the same block (Sonia’s Perm Factory, which she owned and operated up until the mid ‘80s). In my opinion, Sonia’s contributions to the Trans movement have been grossly undervalued in this community. Aside from Sonia, there were maybe a half dozen other T girls running around who had surprisingly had their surgeries done right here in Spokane! I do have to speak up about what the T girl population dealt with at this time. If I remember correctly, Dr. Olmstead was doing the surgeries at none other than a Catholic hospital—Sacred Heart! There was a flurry of activity around this time of girls going in and having their surgeries done. So many in fact that it caught the attention of the conservatives in town, who
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decided that this must stop! The hard right had reason to pause, due to a few of these post-surgical sweethearts that probably were not emotionally equipped to have had the surgeries. One particular post-TS went public, decrying that her life had been ruined—that she was now in love with a woman and wanted her male appendage reattached. She voiced her feeling that not enough care was taken in the screening process, and that the medical community’s sole interest in performing these surgeries was for profit! In Spokane, the status quo is: “When in doubt, freeze.” No further surgeries were performed after that. At least, not to anyone’s knowledge anyway. What is disheartening about this is, it is reputed that Dr. Olmstead’s skill as a surgeon was nearly second to none. There was talk that Dr. Olmstead’s talent was on pace to have Spokane rival Trinidad, Colorado as the “go to” place for a T girl to have her surgery done. But again, the conservative mindset did not want our little town becoming famous for this reason. As a result, there was a certain level of rejection towards TS/TG people—but not nearly as much discrimination as the T population faced from the Gay Community. Now, many years have passed from those Wild West days, if you will. How do things today compare to back then? Do you think that things are changing for the better for the Transgender Community? I guess you could say that Spokane was a destination point for TS/TG at that time; though, I believe most sought out more culturally prominent places that one could have read about in publications. Remember, this was so pre-internet and information was scarce. I don’t believe that I am qualified to assess how things have progressed here in Spokane since “the Wild West days”—
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lol. I myself, like a lot of trans people that I am aware of, have blended into society and blended into the woodwork. From my experience—and this is totally my own opinion—from what I have seen, the girls (and men) that left the Gay Community behind and mainstreamed themselves, have went on to live their lives like the rest of society does. I hesitate to word it this way, as I don’t mean to segregate trans people or spotlight them in a unflattering way. Because I am so far removed from the LGB Community, I cannot comment on how things are now as opposed to then. I can only hope that they are better. Anything would have to be better than what it was like then. I have said for a long time that trans people are the last bastion of the disenfranchised and discriminated. We are discriminated by what most believed were to be our allies, the Gay Community. I have seen when some of the “community” has been the cruelest of all towards trans people.” Thank you for your time J. You have, as usual, given me some things to think on. From this short interview, I think we can get a glimpse of the past and perhaps a bit of our collective future. As J has become part of the woodwork and assimilated into society, she grew away from many of the concerns of bigotry and hatred. She became not much different than the rest of society—just another face in the crowd. That is our eventual goal as LGBT/Queer people (is it not?)—to just be part of society, and not be a big deal. This is a goal I think many of us are shooting for.
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Something To SMY Page 18 | www.proudtimes.com | September 2014
Being comfortable in your own skin is a huge feat. Many of us waste precious time trying to live a life and standard that others have imposed upon us. That used to be me. Growing up Southern Baptist, I was taught that homosexuality was a sin. I tried to be straight. I prayed to God to deliver me from this “demonic spirit” that caused me to be gay. I read the Bible from front to back searching for answers within those hallowed pages. I wanted to prove to God that I was serious about my deliverance. I can’t speak for anyone else, but these efforts only left me disappointed, confused, and more ashamed. If only there had been someone I could identify with—someone to tell me that what I was feeling was normal. Instead, I was pressured to rid myself of this thing I felt I had no control over. That was a lot of pressure as a child, and I deserved better.
YAL About by J’son M. Lee
From a broader perspective, all lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning (LGBTQ) youth deserve better. I recently ran across an organization in the Washington, D.C. metropolitan region that is looking to make things better for our youth by “…ensuring that they have access to the support and services they need to grow into happy and healthy adults,” says Andrew Barnett, Executive Director for SMYAL. SMYAL, short for Supporting and Mentoring Youth Advocates and Leaders, “…creates opportunities for LGBTQ youth to build self-confidence, develop critical life skills, and engage their peers and community through service and advocacy. Committed to social change, SMYAL builds, sustains, and advocates for programs, policies, and services that LGBTQ youth need as they grow into adulthood.” September 2014 | www.proudtimes.com | Page 19
I had the pleasure of speaking with SMYAL’s Executive Director, Andrew Barnett. Andrew, talk to us about your role as Executive Director. I have been [the Executive Director] for over five years now, and I have been with the organization as a staff member for nine years. My role really involves a lot—everything from overseeing our programming and setting our program strategy, working with staff members to develop curricula for implementation, and providing training for social workers, police officers, and other folks who work with LGBTQ youth. I also handle the day-to-day management of the organization—everything from working with our funding partners to ensure that we have the resources to continue to grow, to managing our finances and our partnership with the Board of Directors. Also, part of my role can include direct advocacy with the D.C. City Council and various task forces and coalitions to advocate on the behalf of LGBTQ youth. What is SMYAL about? SMYAL [has] been around for 30 years. This is our 30th anniversary year, and our mission is to support and empower lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth of the D.C. Metro area. We do so through providing opportunities for LGBTQ [youth] to be leaders and change agents in their community. How are these youth identified? Is there a certain age you have to be to be a part of SMYAL? That’s a great question! Our age range is thirteen to twenty-one, and we have a couple different types of programs. We have the youth center in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of D.C. and we have youth accessing programs here.
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We have everything from peer support groups to discussion groups to safe social activities. We also do work with GSAs (Gay-Straight Alliances) in local schools. With that program, we are working more often with youth in the thirteen to eighteen range. So, most of these schools have GayStraight Alliances and you are a resource for them? Most of the schools that have GSAs are high schools, but there are a lot of schools in our region that don’t have GSAs. How are these youth finding you? Youth find us in many different ways. We have a website, as well as social media pages on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. We also engage in a lot of different outreach in the community to get the word out about the programs and services we offer. That includes everything from participating in community fairs and fairs at schools, to providing training and education to teachers and social workers and other folks with youth so they can make referrals to SMYAL. We also work very closely with a number of other youth service providers in this region, making referrals for services that we don’t provide. For those that are younger on the spectrum, do they need a parent’s permission to utilize your services and participate? We don’t require parental permission for youth to attend our youth center; however, we do some special events and activities that do require parental permission. For example, we had a young women’s leadership retreat, which was a three-day retreat at a retreat center up in Maryland. For overnight programs like this, when we’re going out of the city, we
do require parental permission. I didn’t come out until I was well into my thirties. Are you finding that kids are coming out earlier? If so, what do you think is the reason for that? Has the culture changed so much that people feel more comfortable and the kids feel more comfortable embracing their sexuality? That’s an excellent question. The average age of coming out has come down considerably. When I first started almost ten years ago, the average age of coming out was eighteen—now it’s thirteen. It may be even lower now because that study is a few years old.
Fifteen years ago the age of coming out was twenty-three. What’s interesting though is that even though the average age of coming out has changed a lot over the last fifteen years, if you look at the same studies, the researchers ask folks when they first started to think they might be LGBT. That age hasn’t changed at all. The research shows that folks generally identify their sexual orientation between ages ten and twelve, and it doesn’t mean every person realizes that they are gay, lesbian, or bisexual at that age, but it does mean that oftentimes they start to have feelings or thoughts and start to question their sexual orientation.
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I think gay or straight is such a large spectrum. Are you getting youth that are questioning their gender identity as early as ten and twelve? Oh yeah, absolutely! We work with young people here who identify as trans. Also in our work with schools and other youth-serving
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institutions, we see that young people are coming out as trans around that age or even earlier. I didn’t answer your earlier question. Why is this happening sooner now? It might have to do with the fact that there is a lot more knowledge and information out there. It’s much easier to access, and LGBT issues are much more visible than they used to be. So, while I don’t think the feelings the young people are having are changing, and I don’t think young people are starting to discover who they are any differently, I think now they have access to information about it—and they have access to the vocabulary to talk about it in a way that they may not have had twenty years ago. That makes sense. Has your experience been that the community at large is receptive to your efforts? There is still this huge stigma surrounding LGBT issues. I grew up in the South and my family was very religious—and I was “damned to hell.” I know that that’s still prevalent. Are you finding that parents are a little more understanding? Or are you meeting with resistance?
want to reach out to. They may want an ally who feels like they do. They are looking for resources for their child. They may not understand what their child is going through; they may not be sure what they should be doing as a parent. Having an organization that specializes in working with this population is something that they’re looking for. And we also have parents looking for information and support for themselves. We work very closely with an organization called PFLAG, which is Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, that holds support groups for parents and family members. We refer a lot of parents to those groups because, as a young person goes through the coming out process, a parent or family member also goes through a coming out process as an ally and as someone with an LGBTQ person in their life. What region does SMYAL cover?
It’s hard for me to completely gauge from the perspective of being at SMYAL. I will say that we have more parents reaching out to us today than we used to, and some of them are very, very accepting and very affirming of their LGBT children. Some of them are not. Even if they’re struggling with their own reaction to their child’s sexual orientation or gender identity, we do have parents reaching out because they want their child to be happy and to be self-confident, and they know SMYAL is a resource for them.
Our service region is the D.C. Metro area, so that means the Washington D.C., as well as northern Virginia and suburban Maryland. One of the reasons we’re excited about our GayStraight Alliance program is that it’s a way for us to reach youth throughout this metro region. As I mentioned, we have the youth center located near the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Washington D.C., and we work with a lot of young people from the surrounding parts of D.C. Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of resources in their backyard for youth in the D.C. suburbs, so we work with Gay-Straight Alliances to connect them to the resources that we can provide.
Those parents who are having issues with their child’s sexual orientation, what types of information are they looking for? I would think that coming to an organization like SMYAL, they may feel that’s not who they
Our programs can basically be broken down into three major groups. The first is our youth center program which is open five days a week. There’s a different program every afternoon based on the day of the week. The types of
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that go out into individual schools and meet with youth in their GSAs. Our work with GSAs focuses on working with the student leaders of those clubs to make sure their GSAs are sustainable, and also to work with them to advocate for the issues they identify within their schools. So, it’s ultimately to make schools safer, more affirming, and more accepting for LGBTQ youth. The third and major bucket of our programming is our work with other providers—our training and education program. Last year we provided workshops to over 600 youth service providers ranging from teachers to social workers to court officials to police officers, and anyone who basically works with LGBTQ youth. Our workshops are designed to educate them about LGBTQ youth issues, and to make sure that they understand the laws, as well as the best practices for providing culturally competent care. That includes things like addressing bullying and harassment. workshops we offer, in part, are driven by the needs that the young people in the group identify. In the past we’ve offered workshops on things like intimate partner violence. Right now we’re in the midst of a series of zine (homemade magazine) workshops. The youth in our group are working on a zine based on their experiences. We also do safe social activities—Fridays and Saturdays tend to be more of our social programming. We have a monthly dance party, they have monthly movie night, and we have a monthly video game night. And what we do through those sorts of programs is really just provide a space for LGBTQ youth to connect with their peers in a safe and supportive environment. We also provide counseling and testing throughout the week. I already mentioned that we do work with GayStraight Alliances. We have two staff members
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We’re a small organization. We have a budget just over $800,000, but we really try to focus on how we can have the biggest impact, and how can we leverage our partnerships and collaborations to really reach as many LGBTQ youth as we can. You brought up harassment and bullying. What types of bullying are you seeing at SMYAL? I think that there are lots of different ways bullying shows up in young people’s lives, and we’ve done a lot of work with them locally. We worked with several other organizations to advocate for a very comprehensive bullying prevention law that was passed in D.C. in 2012. We’ve also been a part of the implementation task force to develop a model of bullying prevention policy in D.C., and to make sure it’s implemented across the agencies. Bullying
has become a bit of a buzz word, and it’s an important word to know and understand. Most youth don’t necessarily identify with it. Oftentimes youth will be hesitant to label a behavior or an incident as bullying. What makes bullying different than other forms of harassment is that there’s usually a power dynamic involved. It could be based on social powers, it could be based on popularity, or it could be based on someone’s sexual orientation, gender identity, race, ethnicity, gender, or country origin. When we talk about LGBTQ youth and bullying, there’s been this idea that’s been circulating that bullying leads to suicide. Not only is it incorrect, but it’s actually a dangerous myth. Suicide is a really important issue and we know that LGBTQ youth are disproportionately impacted by suicide, but we also know that suicide is usually a result of complex mental health factors. Bullying can be a factor in that, but it’s impossible to prove
that bullying is ever the cause of death by suicide. And unfortunately, when we talk about bullying as causing suicide, we unwittingly send a message that death by suicide is a natural response to bullying—and it’s not. We need to let go of this because it actually is endangering young people when we talk about bullying in that way. In my mind, I wasn’t thinking that bullying caused suicide, but rather the person’s inability to cope with the bullying and whatever the issue was surrounding the bullying. Sometimes people are bullied because they’re different, because they’re gay or whatever, and sometimes that reality—particularly for someone at a young age—is difficult to deal with. I never thought about it in the perspective that you put it in. Thank you for clarifying that.
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Bullying can be very damaging and can have a lasting impact on a young person. So I don’t mean in any way to suggest that bullying isn’t a serious issue. Suicide is a serious issue, too. But I think that the two just become conflated sometimes. I’ve made it a personal mission of mine to make sure I raise that [distinction]. I think a lot of people are trying to address two very important issues and, in doing so, may actually be creating some harm. Andrew, thank you so much for sitting down to talk with me. Congrats on the work you do at SMYAL, and much success in your future endeavors. While I am totally comfortable in my skin now, it was a long time coming. Yes, everyone must come out in their own way and in their own time, but the coming out process is a lot smoother when you are surrounded by people who validate you—especially in our formative years. Organizations like SMYAL build character and integrity and ensure the next generation of LGBTQ leaders is prepared for the fight. That’s definitely something to SMYAL about. For more information about SYMAL, please visit their website at ww.smyal.org.
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Interview with a “Mormon”
by Jeremy Price-Ballew and Dean Ellerbusch While he isn’t a vampire, Pierce Cassedy plays a Mormon in the comparatively fictional world of The Book of Mormon. In the somewhat believable role of Elder McKinley, Pierce has the daunting task of portraying a—wait for it... wait for it—a closeted homosexual! (It could happen!) We believe it took every ounce of his acting talent to stay in the closet and, when Proud Times was afforded the chance to get an interview with this brave gay man, we took the opportunity straight away. (Hey! Wait! We can’t do anything straight!)
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Dean: What productions have you been in prior to The Book of Mormon? Pierce: Professionally, just one. It was a traveling children’s show about the four founding fathers. They’d come back to present day in the form of a rock band to teach kids about the Constitution. I portrayed the role of Thomas Jefferson with a mean bass-player flair. When did you know you wanted to be an actor? I’d been doing theatre since I was 7 years old, and always really enjoyed it. It wasn’t until I was
15 that I felt inspired to choose acting as a career path. Thanks, Wicked.
What is your favorite part about performing on stage in a musical?
Jeremy: What is it like working on this nine-time Tony Award-winning Broadway musical?
This is going to sound cheesy, but it’s the lights. They blind you in such a way that it’s nearly impossible to think of anything other than the scene at hand—which, for me, is such an escape.
It’s an all-out pleasure—very out-of-body almost. I don’t think what I’m doing right now will fully sink in until after it’s all done. It’s a little unfair, knowing what I do next probably won’t be as sure-fire of a hit. Everyone loves the show, and that’s a wonderful feeling.
How would you describe the show? Funny, irreverent, shocking, heartwarming, revolutionary.
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What, if any, feedback do you get from members of the Mormon religion?
Jeremy: What do you hope people get out of the performance?
Aw, Mormons are the nicest. We know this! The feedback we get from them is minimal, but what we do hear are positive things. I think they are happy to have their religion broadcast in such a medium. You’ll see some full-page advertisements in the playbill: “You’ve seen the play, now read the book.”
Whew, lots. I hope, first and foremost, people understand that at the very core, religion is a personal set of beliefs unique and individual, and no one is to be judged or persecuted based on these religious beliefs. Furthermore, I hope the show implores people to not only tolerate others’ ideals and doctrines, but to uplift them. Glorify each person on Earth in the present. Let’s make life good. For everyone. ASAP. We have the means. Let’s look past each others differences and create a better world for the future.
Dean: When you’re not rehearsing or performing, what do you do with your spare time while on tour? My life pretty much revolves around my dog, Durham. I’m that guy. He’s a beautiful 35 lb. goldendoodle who keeps me guessin’ and stressin’. Are you looking forward to exploring Spokane? Absolutely! One of the coolest parts about touring the U.S. is seeing all the different places. Each city has its own vibe, its own spirit. Can’t wait to feel what Spokane is all about!
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Dean: Thank you Elder McKinley... um... er... Pierce Cassedy, for sharing a bit of your time and insights with our readers. We were so glad to have heard the most amazing news in this 2nd national tour of the Broadway musical The Book of Mormon at Spokane’s INB Performing Arts Center. Please come again... and may all your trails be happy!
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And That’s the Truth! by J Charles Ballew
Lily Tomlin is a comedic genius, making people laugh most of her life. At nearly 75, she is still going strong—attack playing to theaters and other venues across the country, even continuing a performance at Spokane’s Martin Woldson Theater at the Fox during an asthma attack—bringing her ageless comedy to lifelong fans and new generations as well by updating each of her unique lovable characters. Charles: Have you been to Spokane before? You know, I keep swearing that I’m going to go back and look at all my records. I’ve been to Spokane, but I don’t think I’ve played there. But I’m not 100% sure and I’m so embarrassed. If I have played, I haven’t played more than once. What do you think of the area in general? Well it’s gorgeous. To us, it’s gorgeous. You live in L.A.? I live in L.A.
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It’s quite different. Yes, yes. Is it just caused by the weather? When you think of Spokane, you think of, oh I don’t know, soaring clouds and a blue sky and mountains or some water and... Am I way off the mark? [paraphrased] You’re right. In fact, the tourist board’s motto is “Close to nature, close to perfect.” That, that’s really good. So, does that sell a lot of tourism? Yeah, it really does. For the size of it, Spokane has done some re...
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I thought you were going to say “Close to nature, close to God,” so “Close to nature, close to perfect” is just divine. Spokane, for the size of it, has done some remarkable things—from the World’s Fair, hosting the National Figure Skating Championships twice... there’s various things. Do you ice skate? No, not me. I don’t have the ankles for it. So, I just wanted to ask a few things. Your comedy is built around various personas and based on real life. Do you consider yourself a standup comic? I’m not in the traditional sense. That’s the way I felt. I think you’re more of a character-based comic. Yeah. What I do on the stage is sort of my version of standup, which is character-based and 10 or 12 characters in an evening—but they’re all kind of interconnected. I use video, too—to sort of satirize myself—make fun of my ankles. If you hadn’t become a cast member on Laugh-In, where do you think your career might have gone? Oh God help me, I don’t know. Where do you suppose? I might not have had a career. What was it like being a female comedian in the ‘60s? Well, it was... the field was much more narrow. There weren’t so many people. The show [didn’t have] that many compared to men, but many, many more women do comedy
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now and speak out of their own voice and their own intelligence. When I was starting, most people—the hand full of people, women who did stand up—they generally had to play against themselves. They usually played on being scatterbrained or flat-chested or couldn’t get a man or fat or something like that. That was a more traditional role. That’s probably why they made a success, because it was a role that was accepted socially. I used to... I’ve told this story before but it’s so absolutely perfect, just as Spokane is... it’s just perfect to illustrate this... I was in a review in New York way back in the ‘60s. In most reviews there were leading lady, a character woman, and an ingenue—and then, the boy parts of those. So, the woman who was an ingenue was really boring on stage—because ingenues are boring; they haven’t a thing to do and no opinions. But in the dressing room she would be hilarious. I would be doubled over just screaming, laughing, and I’d say “You’ve got to do that on stage.” She’d pull herself up and her hair would like, literally from the inside, it would get bigger—just by sheer will. She’d say “Oh, I wouldn’t.” She’d be looking in the mirror in the dressing room she had, “I wouldn’t want anyone to think I was unattractive.” That was a big thing, not to be. I remember when I first started, people would say to me, “How can you do standup, you’re going to lose your femininity.” It was all just so crackbox. We’ve come a long way baby. Well, sort of. Yeah. We have actually, but a lot of that social stereotyping still exists. But there are many people that fly against it. True. And that’s good.
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It will always be that way. But I always did characters so I could portray any number of females—and later men, too— on that continuum of gender. True. I read that you brought Jane [Wagner] on to help develop Edith Ann for LaughIn. Did any of your other iconic characters benefit from your collaboration with Jane?
Oh yeah, God yes. The Search [for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe]—all those characters in The Search came from Jane. Let me just think of everybody who’s in there. The Search was written as a play that Jane wrote for me. She always contributed to even the characters that were already existent. She contributed to them over the years, but The Search primarily. I’m sure there’s other stuff too, but The Search is her invention. Some of the characters... Let me think. I was doing Trudy... She helped me invent Trudy the bag lady initially—because I did her in 1977 in Appearing Nightly, which was our first show. She wrote Lud and Marie. Initially she wrote that for one of my television specials. I was going to do it with my brother playing my father and then—my brother was always kind of not totally committed to show business, and he’d sometimes leave right in the middle of working on something. He’d say “Oh, this is just too embarrassing” and he would walk away. So, then I began doing everything by myself. So, Lud and Marie were kind of the first. The initial piece was written for a television special, but we never did it. So, then I just adapted it to myself and did all three characters... four characters myself. Other pieces... I can’t remember, gosh darn it. There’s so many characters. I did some characters before I met Jane, but she invented... As I said, The Search is still my favorite thing to do. I haven’t done it for 10 years, but I did it the last year at the Ahmanson in L.A. run at the theater, and that’s the last time I’ve done it. I love that play very much, and I’m always begging Jane to write a sequel to it. That would be nice. I saw in an online interview that you said that being the words behind the person—being you—that Jane doesn’t get enough credit.
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Right. No, that’s absolutely... That’s true of a lot of writers unfortunately. I forget which big studio head said it, but you could look it up. I don’t think it was—it wasn’t Darryl Zanuck—it was somebody else... But they said, “you know, the most important person in Hollywood is the writer and you must never let them know.” True. Your comedy is very cerebral, sometimes suggestive—thinking of Ernestine maybe... Yeah. Maybe even sarcastic, which only proves your genius. Is that right? Were you ever censored? Well, yeah. I was censored on television. When I did television specials back in the day—not just for language or something, much more for ideas. On my first two specials, which were in ’73—both of them were in 1973 on CBS, and Richard Pryor was my guest. We did a piece, “Juke and Opal.” It never even got into the first script because I had a partner, and my partner was Ed Sullivan’s son-in-law—so he was very “establishment.” They made me have a partner because that’s what they do when you’re... He didn’t even put it in the script. A little play that Jane wrote, “Juke and Opal,” which is about a soul food diner that I—my character—owned, and her relationship with Pryor, who was a junkie. The next time—because I had such a high rating on that special—because I was coming off of Laugh-In, they wanted me to do another special. I said I would, if I didn’t have a partner. That special... We won two Emmy’s for Writing and Best Special and, of course we put “Juke and Opal” in that show. Also, we did a piece that
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I still do in my act, “War Games”—which is about Mrs. Beasley with a war going on in her backyard. I believe I’ve seen that. That was written during the Vietnam War, when it was still going on. It’s a very... It’s only like a minute and a half long. It’s just a very strong, good piece—anti-war piece—so I still choose to do it. The network was so mad because in my first special they... I filmed “War Games” for that special too, and they just absolutely went berserk. I didn’t even get to film “Juke and Opal.” So, when I did the second special with no partner, I filmed “War Games” to use as a bargaining chip for—because I’d learned this from George Schlatter, the producer of Laugh-In—he said, “always shoot something that you’re willing to give up for something else.” Good advice. Because Richard was my guest, I wanted him to have this great piece which many people wrote about later—so I filmed “War Games” again. Then, when they got really heavyhanded, I traded “War Games” for “Juke and Opal.” So that piece got on the air, but we had it early in the show and it was much more artful and wonderful.
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I got such a heavy-handed flack from CBS on that show, that they made me reorder everything—plus, we didn’t have a laugh track. Because, when you’re in a soul food diner and the piece is comedic in many ways—but it’s also dramatic. So, what are you going to have? You are going to have people laughing and clapping, like they’re sitting at the table somewhere. The pieces... We just did not have a laugh track on. We had music or whatever... Still, if it makes it dramatic... Source music in the scene like the jukebox was playing in “Juke and Opal.” But they made me put “Juke and Opal” at the very end of the show for the “turn off factor”—they didn’t want people to turn off early. Anyway, that’s a kind of censorship. True. Most of your TV/movie characters were more serious, like Margo on Will and Grace, even though you had your subtle observant humor. Which do you prefer, doing work on a stage or that sort of scripted...? Well, I like the stage. Probably, if I got pushed to the wall I’d say, “Yes, let me keep the stage.” At least it’s a place where I... It’s very personal and immediate and it’s where I started on my back porch really, with my neighbors. But there’s loads of other stuff. It depends on the role and how it’s written and what... I played Lisa Kudrow’s mother on Web Therapy on Showtime and that’s all... It’s mostly improved. I’m just mad for that character. I love to play her. I love to do her. Good, and those lines... As an actor you have to... I did... I played Kenny Powers’ mother on Eastbound & Down. It depends on the sensibility. I like... I did three shows on I think the third year of that series and I loved playing that character, too. It’s all a mix. It’s nothing black and white about it.
I loved Will and Grace and I thought Megan and Sean—and the other two also—were wonderful in their roles, really inventive and wonderful. You go on sometimes on a show just because you’re a fan of it and you get a bid to do it and you say, “Oh yeah, I’d love to be on that show.” So, if the part’s written or if I’m able... Maybe I don’t feel it’s comedically... Some parts you’re better at. So, it’s all over the place. Do you find yourself switching between your personas—are your personas coming out in everyday life? No. Only for, maybe if I’m being facetious about something. In the old days people... If I was at the cleaners and the phone rang, the wall phone would ring sometimes when they had wall phones, and they’d say, “Ernestine, it’s for you”—if I just happened to be standing at the counter. Just sweet things like that really. But no, I don’t flip out like Jonathan Winters or David Frye. David Frye got into Nixon one time, and couldn’t get out of him. I haven’t had that. It’s fun. It’s always fun just to launch into somebody. I might say something just off the cuff in a character voice, because it sort of makes it funny or it’s appropriate for that character. Just like you said, “A gracious— or should I say—a gracious hello,” and I said something in Ernestine’s voice which you may or may not have heard.
Would it be possible to update characters like Ernestine or Pervis Hawkins today? Yeah, because I do update Ernestine. Ernestine right now works at a Healthcare Insurance Corp.—and I healthcared everyone... And Pervis, I don’t know why he couldn’t be a singing star. He’d have to just have to stand on a style of song. He’s smoky, and those people—they still sing or do things. True. That’s a style that continues. Maybe he’s not as well known or popular as he might have been. Depends on what you put in their mouths. That’s true. And how their suit is cut I guess. Yes. I don’t know for sure. I haven’t done Pervis in a long time. If I had to restage him, I don’t know what I would... I’d have to start thinking about him. But I love Pervis, too. I love Pervis, too. When we first shot Pervis, we were just like in love with him.
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Did Jane help you create him? Well, that was on a special—so you have a staff of writers and we all pitch in the same room; they get in the writer’s room and we all pitch and fool around. Sometimes you find you’ll say “who wants to write Pervis” after we all pitch stuff, and somebody might say they want to or they want to write it with another writer or something. I can’t remember what Jane might have specifically contributed to Pervis, other than the idea. She and I would come up with the concept usually. Like that show was about me running for President, wasn’t it? And Pervis was a soul singer... And Agnes Angst—she did write Agnes Angst. Agnes Angst was a punk performance artist... And then there was an old folkie group that came out of retirement to support me. It was to show my grass roots appeal—my broad, broad appeal as a presidential candidate. In one of your recordings, Ernestine talked with J. Edgar Hoover about wire tapping. What would she have to say about the NSA and wire tapping today? I’ve worked a long time on an NSA piece. It’s just not... It’s so kind of amorphous. You kind of don’t know... The furthest I’ve gotten is sort of like, “This is Ernestine Tomlin from the NSA, the only government agency who actually listens to you.” That’s true. I haven’t been able to pull an NSA together satisfactorily. They would...
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Because you could make a lot of jokes about what’s his name, Norton. No... What’s his name? I can’t think of it. Edwards... What’s Edwards name? I can’t think right now. See, that’s what I mean. It’s like a subject that’s like floaty, like the public doesn’t quite know what they’re doing. True. And so, I haven’t been able to really get my hands on it. Jane has been such an important and influential part of your life. Where do you think your career might have gone without her? Well golly, I don’t know. I guess I’d be probably like the Three Stooges. I don’t know. I’d be, I’d have to play all three and I’d be doing like, falling down on the ground and slapping people, run my fingers up their front. I don’t know for sure, but I’m sure it wouldn’t have been quite as wonderfully literary and all. So she keeps you grounded a little bit? Kind of. No. I’m pretty grounded. But she’s very brilliant verbally. She is. As I read, you hired her—or collaborated with her—to help develop Edith Ann. Right. I was doing Edith Ann on Laugh-In and I wasn’t thrilled with her. I brought her to the show, but we were... I wanted her to be more,
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and I saw a teleplay that Jane had written for which she’d won a Peabody called JT, about a kid in Harlem. Yet, it was naturalistic and it was heightened at the same time. Almost every line was like an observation or a repeatable aphorism, and yet it seemed like perfectly natural dialog. We had mutual friends. I had never met her, but I’d always heard about her and how wonderful she was and how brilliant. So I asked her to come to California to help me produce the Edith Ann album (And That’s the Truth). Weeks and weeks went by—which is still her trait—and I didn’t get anything. Finally... I didn’t get an answer and I didn’t get any material. Finally, she all of a sudden sent me a bunch of stuff that was all trash and notations and written in the margins and crossed out. It was essentially what Edith Ann’s album became. Then I got her to come out and we did that album. We produced it together and that was it, it was done. As soon as I laid eyes on her, I was just quite in love with her. How long did it take for that relationship to develop beyond working together to 40 years of your life together? It’s really true isn’t it. God, I can’t even believe it when you say it. Well, our sensibilities were just absolutely so similar and so close and so supportive of one another that... Jane is Southern. She is from Tennessee. My parents are from Kentucky, although I grew up in Detroit. We just, sort of like—we just spoke the same language. She was very, very beautiful and very funny and very bright and brilliant— and what else can a girl do? Aren’t our spouses always that way? Yeah, I guess so. Mine is. Mine really is.
You did get married after 40 years together. Yeah, we were married 42 years and we’re 43 years March 31st. We got married on January 31st. Congratulations. Thank you. No, December 31st we got married...what am I saying? New Years Eve is in December. Yes. To anyone looking on... I read in the industry, they already knew the two of you were an item. Yeah. Was the ceremony of actually getting married a formality or something you had planned on for years? Well, no. We were politically [involved], so we’ve talked about it and we worked against Prop. 8 and stuff like that. We certainly didn’t expect this to be a real option this quickly. This was pretty staggering. We thought, well we just wanted to do it. We wanted to get married. We had the chance... Actually, we used to be kind of satiric about marriage because it is a kind of imitation of heterosexuality. After being partners for such a long time, have you been able to transition into calling each other wife, or did you already do that? No, we don’t. That’s another heterosexual act and we’re not going to do that. So, what do you refer to each other as when speaking to somebody else about your partner? “Jane,” or I say, “my partner Jane.”
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That certainly makes sense. When I’m mad at her, I might say, “her.” And that’s the truth. Are you close with your brother Richard? Very close. I couldn’t find out much about him, but I’ve been told he’s also gay. Is that correct? He is, yes. He’s also in a long-term relationship. And he’s also married. So, what do the Tomlin’s have that makes it so easy to be in a long-term relationship? Masochism probably. No. How do I know? That’s just how we are. Well, that’s great. That’s just how we are with those people. With Jane and... his partner’s name is Michael. That’s great because... I can’t speak for my brother. So many Hollywood couples are on and off. Well, he’s not a Hollywood couple. He lives in Nashville. Nashville’s a great place. I’ve lived there myself. So, one last question: What advice do you have for young gay couples?
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I don’t know if I have any insight. I would just say, life isn’t easy. You have to work it. You have to just be committed to yourself and to your partner and to your work and to your life and to other people. It’s not a... Who was it said? Was it Auntie Mame who said, “Life is a banquet, most poor sons of bitches are starving to death”—or something like that? I don’t even know where that came from. Don’t even reference that... Like it came out of my head. I have no idea. I have no information. I have no insight. I have no inspiration to tell people what to do or how to make their lives work the way they want it to. We are certainly thankful for getting the opportunity to talk with you. Thank you Charles. I’m very grateful for your time. Alright you guys. Take care of yourselves. You know to that, my brother and Mike are so funny that I always wanted them to have a breakfast show like the old radio, an old radio show that would be done from their house. I don’t know who it was that used to have that radio show, I can’t think of their names now, but back probably in the ‘40s or something. But anyway, I’ve always wanted to have something like that done from especially a gay couple from their home in the morning and have them just share it with us, like an hour every morning. You could do that on the net. Okay, well I’ll see you later and I’ll see you backstage. My husband, Jeremy and I were accompanied by Proud Times’ extraordinary Managing Editor Kurt Schmierer’s aunt and mother to see Lily backstage after witnessing the genius hilarity of her live performance for ourselves. As we were waiting in line after the show to
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go backstage and meet her in person, I overheard a woman behind me talking. She was holding a record of Lily’s from the late ‘60s or early ‘70s, and telling the person in front of her how that album and Lily’s comedy helped get her through the Vietnam War. She was trilled to introduce her daughter to someone so important and comforting to her during a very difficult time in her life. Speaking with Lily on the phone, and seeing her in person, was a privilege— and we wished we’d had more time. There was much more we could have asked her, especially about Jane. Lily and Jane have been together for 40+ years, and they are still going strong; they are truly an inspirational gay couple. If you are part of the Out and Proud Community and you are looking for real-life role models, add Lily and Jane to the list of superstars.
We would like to say a very warm and hearty Thank You to Lily Tomlin for taking the time to chat with us and answer all our questions. We were so glad to find out she is just a normal person—who happens to make people laugh.
A Memorable Evening with the Incomparable Lily Tomlin by Maxine Schmierer
The anticipation had built up to this moment. Sunday, 8 June 2014, 7:30pm at The Fox Theatre—a live performance of Lily Tomlin! As expected, she was hilarious—and very active, for a lady of 75 years young. She went upstairs, was down on the floor—the performance was a workout on that stage. She acted out some of the characters she played on Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In. A couple of them which brought back memories for me: Ernestine—the phone operator, with her “one ringy-dingy, two ringy-dingy”; and Edith Ann, the toddler making grown-up observations in her extremely oversized rocking chair. She reminisced about her childhood, growing up, and becoming a star. In every scene, the sound and lighting effects were spot on! Miss Tomlin’s interaction with the audience was superb. At one point, she told us she has asthma and had forgotten her inhaler. Someone backstage looked for it, but “she must have left it in her hotel room.” Someone from the audience tossed their inhaler onto the stage, but she wouldn’t close her mouth on it— she “would just use her teeth.” The audience all had a laugh over that. All in all, it was a fun-filled night! And that’s the truth! (Raspberry!)
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Kristine W Brings The Love Home by Tim Larcombe Billboard Magazine’s “Artist of the Decade” is a former beauty queen who competed in the Miss America Pageant as Miss Washington. That was twenty years ago. Since then, Kristine W has made even more significant accomplishments—most notably, she has released 16 #1 dance hits, tying Mariah Carey with the third-most chart toppers on the Billboard Dance/Club Play Songs chart. Only Madonna
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(with 40) and Janet Jackson (19) have scored more #1s. She also holds the world’s record for Most Consecutive #1 Billboard Club Hits. She had nine #1s in a row; Madonna and Janet Jackson trail her with seven. She has released five albums: Land of the Living (1996, RCA Records), Stronger (2000, RCA Records), Fly Again (2003, Tommy Boy), The Power of Music (2009, Fly Again Music)
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and New & Number Ones (2012, Fly Again Music). This month, the hometown girl ignites the dance floor once again with a brand new single, “Love Come Home.” What is the main message in “Love Come Home”? Kristine W: That there is nothing more powerful than love, and that artistic expression can ignite passion and inspire us all.
“Love Come Home” is reminiscent of your classic track, “Land of the Living.” Was that intentional? I wouldn’t say it was intentional, no. But I can see why people have been comparing the two. Both share a theme of loss—the loss of a loved one leaves one empty, waiting, often crying out for love to come back and fill that empty box within with love again. Does it worry you that the song is very different than most dance tracks out today?
You grew up in Washington State. Why will Washington always be your home? It’s where my family is and, of course, home is where the family is. My people are sprinkled throughout the state. Did you grow up in a religious household? I was raised in the Congregational Church. I sang in the choir. Is your music inspired by gospel? Oh yes, all of my songs are gospel inspired. My talent was nurtured in that little church. It is a part of me and always will be.
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with a real message is timeless.
You mean the sound? Yeah, it’s very different than other dance tracks out there. But I’m not an ambulance chaser. I don’t chase what is already dead. I have to believe that real music
Does today’s dance floor need some old school flavor? Today’s dance floor needs to be aware that the genuine dance tracks are out there. They haven’t disappeared. They’re just getting drowned out by whatever is the flavor of the
minute—those songs that are all the rage one day, but gone the next.
came out with hers! It really started to get weird.
What is your biggest complaint about today’s dance music?
What is the secret to staying relevant?
I like some of songs being played on radio and in clubs. I really do! But, I love talented vocalists who can really sing live and perform. Those numbers seem to be dwindling. The trend of over-computerized vocals seems to be making its way out. I am happy that people are finally getting fed up with people with no talent calling themselves singers. It’s like a lawyer with no law degree. The whole brand and image obsession in America has perpetuated a flood of people who have been faking it while they are making it, but that road ends when, at some point, you actually have to sing live in front of people.
It’s important to select songs and productions that are credible and will stand the test of time. There is no slowing down in this business, either. You gotta keep producing. Are you back in the studio? You bet I am. I am working on another album. Late last year, I released the song “Everything That I Got” and that’s what I will continue to give until I can’t give no mo’!
But what will artists like Britney Spears do now? I was on the RCA label when Britney and N’Sync were there. I remember them being referred to as lunchbox artists, and I didn’t get it until I saw a room stuffed with merchandise. That was when it hit me, that the music business didn’t have much to do with music anymore. I am proud of Britney, that she has survived and thrived for so long. She is a very talented showman. I always knew Justin Timberlake would blow up. He was so very talented, and really focused, and had a great manager in Johnny [Wright]. Did Britney’s “Stronger” hurt your “Stronger”? I came out with my “Stronger” album, then Brittany came out with hers, and then Cher
Visit KristineW.com
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Cyndi Lauper:
Friend
and
Family
by J Charles Ballew and Jeremy Price-Ballew
When we think of Cyndi Lauper, we think, one of the most powerful singers ever! We think of her song, “I Drove All Night,” which became our favorite love song, symbolizing how we met. When our mother Ballew thinks of Cyndi Lauper, she thinks about a lot of wild hair colors. What do you think about when you hear the name “Cyndi Lauper”? Whatever you think, it’s impossible to deny her legendary skills as a singer/songwriter.
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We at Proud Times and Loud and Proud had the honor of getting some of our questions answered by Ms. Lauper—all while she was in the middle of a very busy U.S. tour with someone you may have heard of called “Cher.” We even got a chance to see a once in a lifetime performance in Portland on the D2K tour with Cher that will forever remain etched into our minds to pleasantly reminisce about in years to come. Cyndi was very gracious and forthcoming with her comments, and like her personality, sometimes she is very direct and to the point—but always willing to have her voice be heard. It’s hard not to notice such a strong voice, both in performance and when dealing with equal rights and homeless LGBT youth. Jeremy Price-Ballew: You are a steadfast supporter of the Out & Proud Community. What, besides your relationship with your sister Elen, has motivated you to be such a big supporter of equal rights? My sister, other family, and friends are all part of the community. Where I am from, [when] you see your family and friends’ civil rights being taken away, you speak up and do everything in your power to keep that from happening. Dean Ellerbusch: Do you get the chance to spend much time with Elen in Los Angeles?
There are many letters used in the acronym to represent the Out & Proud Community. Which of the letters in LGBTQQAAI would you use to describe yourself? I am family and friend. How about FAF? Jeremy: Do you think it is important for big name entertainers, such as yourself, to take a stand and support the community? Yes, without a doubt! Always stand up for people with less power to speak for themselves.
Of course I spend time with Elen and her family whenever I am in L.A.—and she comes to visit me and my mom, who also lives in New York. But I still miss them... time goes too fast. How has your relationship with Elen changed over the years? I don’t know that it has really changed all that much. We have always been very close. My mom told me I was born to be Elen’s best friend, so I took that literally as a kid. She can’t shake me!
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Since it is Pride month (July), and most major cities across the country are hosting Pride Parades, what is your favorite way to celebrate Pride? Touring with Cher!... where Cher and I belong. We both have had so much love and support from the community. Of course, we both really appreciate it. J Charles Ballew: You have teamed up with M•A•C cosmetics, a very pro-gay company— having had k.d. lang, Boy George and RuPaul as spokespeople. They are also very socially responsible, supporting those affected with HIV/AIDS. Was that part of the reason you chose to work with them? I love and believe in the work they do. I am proud to have been part of their wonderful Viva Glam Campaign, and am still an active ambassador for M•A•C AIDS Fund. The True Colors Fund helps homeless LGBT youth. What was your inspiration to start this charity? The pure facts and, more importantly, the young people themselves. In America, up to 40% of all homeless youth are LGBT, yet only 7% of the general youth population is LGBT. The discrepancy is huge and the primary, but not only, reason is because these kids are being forced out of their homes by their families. As a parent, I cannot understand ever throwing your kid away, let alone because they are gay or transgender. So, we saw the need for a national organization to solely focus on addressing LGBT youth homelessness, and so the True Colors Fund was born.
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Dean: What are the most important things you can share about the work you are doing with the True Colors Fund. There is a lot. We are working in a number of ways to ensure that all services that homeless LGBT youth receive are safe, affirming, and inclusive—as well as that there are enough resources to actually meet the growing need. We need more of everything—from housing to counseling services to life skills courses. You name it, we need more of it. But, just as important, we are working hard to shift the focus from just responding to the crisis to looking at and testing ways that we can actually prevent these kids from leaving their homes in the first place—or work to intervene early so that we can get them back with their immediate families (if that is a safe option), or with extended family, or members of their communities they are connected to. If we do not start to shift our focus in this way, we are just going to keep going in an endless cycle and will not make any headway in actually ending youth homelessness, especially for LGBT youth. J Charles: Why focus on LGBT youth instead of all homeless youth, or the entire homeless population? Because LGBT [youth] face a particular set of circumstances that cause their homelessness, and that makes it harder for them to overcome it. These kids are homeless in great part because they are gay or transgender. They experience specific trauma due to the rejection of their families and communities, as well as the internal struggle they go through to accept themselves. So, not only does that rejection play a role in their becoming homeless in the first place, but acts as a barrier to them overcoming the homelessness as well. They face higher rates of violence and other negative consequences as a result of not seeking out
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services, for the fear of being rejected or discriminated against and other reasons. These are wonderful kids—who, given the safe and affirming support and help they need, they can become who they want and have always deserved to be. We just all need to step up and do our part to help. Dean: What would you recommend others do to address the issue of LGBT youth homelessness around the country? First and foremost, support your local service provider. You can find a list of safe and affirming agencies on the True Colors Fund’s Forty to None Project website at www.fortytonone.org. They need your help. They need your financial support and your time as a volunteer. You can also learn more about the issue, and ways you can get involved, on the website—from sharing information and stories on your social media pages to joining our email list so we can let you know about opportunities to get involved. J Charles: Congratulations on your Broadway work, Kinky Boots. Is it a challenge to write a score for a production that was already a movie with its own songs? When I watched the movie, I didn’t really focus on the score because I knew what the producers wanted was all new music—and what I watched the movie for was to understand the heart of the story. Not long after Harvey [Fierstein] sent me his book—and it was his book that I tried very hard to respect and, with the songs, help move the story together.
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I have never been to New York City or a Broadway play (sad huh?). Do people expect to hear certain songs when they see a play based off a movie? I don’t know honestly. I think that is probably the case for a film that was really big like say Rocky. I mean, if you didn’t hear a lot of the music from that soundtrack, you would probably go away being disappointed. The music was such a huge part of that film. Because Kinky Boots was this amazing indie film that performed really well, still a lot of people didn’t get to see it. The soundtrack for it is not as big an integral part of the success of the film, so there was no preconception about what the music should have been.
Working with Harvey Fierstein must have been amazing. Can you share any stories about your time with Harvey? Harvey and I were friends before we did this project together. When he called me to ask if I would be interested in working with him, I was just thrilled at the opportunity. Harvey knew I was a huge fan of Broadway from when I was a little kid, singing and performing my mother’s Broadway records for my family. To be able to work with Harvey, a Broadway legend, who also showed me the ropes and really guided me thru the process was an honor. We really worked well together. I think we pushed and pulled each other, and brought out the best in each other. He called me “Christina” and I called him “Mommie Dearest”... but it was all in love. Kinky Boots was your first behind-the-scenes Broadway work. You appeared on stage in The Threepenny Opera in 2006. Winning the Tony not only for Best Score, but also being the first woman to win the composing category solo! How does your Tony compare to your 1984 Grammy for Best New Artist? To be recognized by the Broadway community for Kinky Boots was an honor. We won 6 Tonys in 2013. It
was a night I will never forget! In 1984, when my first solo record came out and it was recognized for all the nominations... and to win Best New Artist was also an honor. Your discography is very extensive. (Twelve Deadly Cyns is one of the best albums ever!) What inspires you to keep writing new material? Life! Experiences in my own life, in my friends and family’s life, things I see in the world—good and bad. Just being present in life. There is a lot of material out there! Dean: You are always so gracious and polite in public. Have there been instances where fans have been overzealous? No, not really. My kid doesn’t love it so much, but he also understands it. It comes with the territory. I am lucky to have such amazing fans who support and been with me through the years. I am just lucky to have them with me through it all. J Charles: Your music has stirred some controversy. “She Bop” is about masturbation (or so the story goes), and “Sally’s Pigeons” is about abortion. What do you say to those who criticize you for your songs? Get over it! Your mother is in the video for “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.” Would you consider her one of your heroes? Yes, of course. That’s why she was in many of my videos. I wanted to spend time with her and—when you work hard and part of your job means being away—sometimes it was the only time to see her. And I wanted to give her a moment to shine. She really enjoyed making
those videos and I think if circumstances had been different for her, she would have been a singer. She has a great voice. Dean: What do you do when you wanna have fun? Spend time with my family. Jeremy: Who has influenced and inspired you on your way to becoming the talented star you are now? Everything in life inspires me—from my family, amazing people in my life, and music. J Charles: I know you are currently touring with Cher and will be performing in Seattle and Portland. But have you ever been to Spokane, Washington? If so, what do you think of our fair city? Yes, been there a few times on tour—but, not in a while. Spokane is a great place. I like taking walks, and going on bike rides, and you have great parks, and those great falls! Plus, there is a great art museum there, and a lot of great places to eat. You have been married to your husband David since 1991. That seems like a lifetime for a celebrity marriage. How do you keep it fresh after 23 years? Just learn to respect each other and spend as much time as we can together. He is my best friend. We would like the to thank the iconic Cyndi Lauper for taking time to answer our questions and her contributions to the homeless LGBT youth of the community with her True Colors Foundation (http:// truecolorsfund.org/).
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It has been our pleasure being in the presence of such a colorful personality. In addition to her talent shining through, her heart of gold is evident in her words and deeds. She inspires us to be more and do more. We hope you are inspired to get involved locally to better the lives of others. Together, we can make our world a better place. If you would like to get involved, please check out Cyndi’s True Colors Foundation (http://truecolorsfund.org/), Forty to None Project (http://fortytonone.org/), or Give a Damn Campaign (http://www.wegiveadamn. org/). Locally in Spokane, we are fortunate enough to have Odyssey Youth Center (http://www.odysseyyouth.org/), a youth-led, adult-supported organization committed to creating, sustaining, and advocating for safe and affirming programs, policies, and services for the lesbian, gay, bisexual,
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transgender, queer, and questioning (LGBTQ) youth community. Homeless LGBT youth face challenges no other group does. Not only do they face ostracization from society, they have often been ‘thrown away’ by their biological families. These beautiful young people need the help and support that only comes from a concerned and committed community to help them find a safe and healthy environment in which they can grow and thrive.
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What a Wonderful Choice It Would Make by Ram Michael
On the subject of being gay, I refuse to say I was born this way! I am so tired of hearing people make the case for our acceptance in society that we were born this way. Now, I know I was born gay and any other trait of my being. But, I refuse to ask for acceptance by making a claim that sounds an awful like “I can’t help it, so please excuse and accept me.” I recognize that this is an important explanation to rebut claims against us, but wouldn’t it be a wonderful choice as well? I would choose being gay—point blank—because it’s wonderful, beautiful, worthy, stunning, and even… cutting edge. I love being gay, and I want to say to everyone that we don’t have to hide behind being born that way in order to be that way. I remember feeling extremely hurt when my mother would say that she would never wish for me to be gay because of all that I would have to endure. Though those sentiments and fears were true and well meaning, they were quite insulting. In saying this, she was upholding the notion that it is difficult and trying. But part of the difficulty derives from people not wishing that their child were gay. I haven’t always felt this way, nor have I always felt comfortable being gay. As it related to myself as a solo entity, in my own bubble, I always thought it was cool. But I worried for many years about the social implications and being ostracized by my family. I didn’t want to be gay out of fear, but I knew that I was different—and different is good, especially since the mainstream and status quo suffers from fear of being extreme, original, and individual.
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We gay people are, and can be, an inspiration to others to be their true, real selves. But I find many of us don’t want to be different within our microcosm. Society has pinned us into a corner, with the help of religious leaders who misuse their power, as deviants having to sway God on our side by proclaiming that He made us this way... therefore, we’re ok... and God loves all His children... so, we’re ok and deserve love... even though. We have been put in a box labeled “even though,” deserving of forgiveness and understanding. Well, I don’t want to be forgiven or understood. I am! I am perfect! And so are you!!! There is nothing wrong with me to be forgiven, nor is there anything different about me to be understood. I am not “the other” and I won’t play that game. I’m here. I’m queer. And I chose this way. And what a wonderful choice it is!
Ram Michael
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Featured Artists
Click Here to Read More! surprise new album will be the band’s second full-length release this year and follow-up to Aviation, released in April. The upcoming album was written, recorded and produced entirely by the band at their home studio in Los Angeles, with Tricky Stewart serving as executive producer. As with Semi Precious Weapons’ previous album, Aviation, the band’s new album will also be released via Stewart’s RedZone Records label. Los Angeles, CA – August 20, 2014 – Semi Precious Weapons have revealed a brand new song titled “Brando,” the debut single from their upcoming new full-length studio album to be released later this fall. The as yet untitled
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Following the success of “Aviation High,” their first top 40 alternative single, the band has been playing radio shows all over the country sharing stages with Cage The Elephant,
Bleachers and Phantogram. “Brando” will officially become available and impact at radio on August 26. “The song ‘Brando’ is not only inspired by the man himself, but also uses him and some of his movies as metaphors for a very over the top intense relationship I had with my last boyfriend,” said singer Justin Tranter. “We decided to release a brand new single and album so quickly because we were inspired by the ‘Golden Age of Rock and Roll’ – a time when artists were releasing multiple albums a year,” continued Tranter. “There was a period in his career when Elton John put out six albums in two and a half years. We have songs that we love, songs that we just wrote, and we don’t want to wait to share them. Both sonically and emotionally, this is who we are right now. We are fortunate to be at a label that is cool enough to support us putting this out right now. The rules of an ‘album cycle’ as set by the record industry don’t work for people who really love music anymore. So why follow them?” Read more online! Karmen Buttler “I grew up in a family for whom music was always the event. It was the occasion, shared language and ultimate reason to come together. It remains today the single most important way we’re connected and thing we share. Needless to say, music (and my very musical family) made a profound impression on me early on. I vividly recall being not much more than 4 or 5 years old, standing beside my grandfather’s upright piano listening to my Aka (beloved aunt Karen) sing, begging her to “play the sad songs.” I was obsessed with the sad songs…
Click Here to Read More! Logan Lynn
Click Here to Read More!
In advance of a highly publicized festival showcase in Austin, Texas alongside Austra, Trust, Big Freedia and Mykki Blanco at Stargayzer Festival on Sunday, September 14th, Portland indie pop musician (and Dandy Warhols protégé) Logan Lynn is releasing the first two songs from his upcoming new record next week on 9.9.2014. The full album is slated for release in 2015. A departure from the electronic sound Lynn has built his career around, “We Will Overcome” finds Logan Lynn and his band in a more organic space, pulling on influences that range from Ziggy Stardust-era Bowie to Fun and Elliott Smith.
LABRYSE Forged within the shadowy depths of Northeast Portland basements, Labryse emerged in 2012 to bring forth metal unto the land. Comprised of queer and female musicians, their music combines various elements of thrash, melodic and black metal, with a touch of hardcore.
Click Here to Read More!
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by Debbi Sullivan
Healing through Hypnotherapy with Charles Smaltz Charles Smaltz is 49 years old and has been a resident of Spokane, Washington for 25 years. Born in Michigan, he grew up in Michigan, Iowa, and South Carolina. His mother was a medium. Growing up with a spiritual background got him started on his own spiritual group that met on Thursday nights and, at its peak, had 30 members.
He is currently involved with PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) and has served as Co-Chair and as a Board Member, as well as the INBA (Inland Northwest Business Alliance). He has been an ordained reverend since 1994 and has preform weddings at our local (OutSpokane’s) Pride Celebration for the last four years.
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Charles attended Heart Springs Hypnotherapy Institute. After that, he participated in the founding of Transformation Associates. They were the first hypnotherapy listing in the Spokane phone book. He has done extensive work with mind and body consciousness. Hypnosis—or hypnotherapy—uses guided relaxation, intense concentration, and focused attention to achieve a trance. This is a naturally occurring state of the human mind and is guided by a trained hypnotherapist. Charles has a 98% success rate in his smoking cessation program. He is a long-time facilitator who is able to evaluate what is right for you in your life. It’s a very personalized focus. Hypnosis is considered an aid to counseling or therapy. The hypnotic state allows a client to access buried or painful memories and feelings. In this state, they are able to respond to suggestions. This allows the change of certain unwanted behaviors—such as smoking, overeating, and nail biting. The relaxed state brings root issues to light that can then be addressed with psychotherapy. Disorders that can be helped with hypnotherapy include, but are not limited to: phobias, fears, anxiety, sleep disorders, depression, stress, post-trauma anxiety, pain, grief and loss. You have to be ready for a change in order for this to work.
Hypnosis should not be recommended for those who suffer from hallucinations and delusions, or for someone who is using drugs or alcohol. Hypnosis should be used for mental disorders only after a client has been evaluated medically and is properly (if needed) medicated for their disorder. It should be used in conjunction with (not instead of) more established and traditional psychiatric treatments. Charles will always suggest this and will not work with anyone who is non-compliant medically. Charles is the person who gets to the heart of what is right for you, found with your honest and individual needs. Absolutes are not for everyone. The behavior modification is based on the underlying causes of self-destructive behavior. He believes we are all worthy of love and respect, but first must love and respect ourselves.
The site allows sharing of downloads, so that groups can share the cost. An individual session with Charles is $125 for one hour and $175 for an hour and a half. Charles always has and continues to work with individuals as needed, as well as on a sliding fee scale. His contact information is: Charles Smaltz 125 W. Knox Ave. Spokane WA 99205 509/218-6330 I have taken classes from Charles Smaltz and was very satisfied with the program and delighted with the facilitation.
His current program is a unique combination of Mind, Body and Spirit Workshops at his online site at RelaxLetGoBe.com. On this site, there are live classes to take. The program is self paced, and starts at $10 a month for a basic membership. The website has a variety of prices for a variety of programs.
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Ricki Zipkin’s
Wedding Preparation Plan Countdown Comments by Dean Ellerbusch
Washington is one of nineteen states where same-sex marriage is legally recognized. Up to this point in our history, civil unions and domestic partnerships were the closest to legally recognized matrimony we have been allowed. Many have opted to participate in ceremonies declaring their love and commitment to each other, regardless of legal recognition by government and church. In any incarnation, the wedding requires a lot of planning. To relieve a bit of that burden, Wedding Planner Ricki Zipkin has a tried and true plan to keep you and your loved ones on track during your trip down the aisle. Adjustments to the “one man, one woman” model of marriage are required, but adhering to her words of wisdom will provide you the best chance for the most magical day imaginable.
Image Provided by Skully Jones Photography
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Three Months Before the Wedding
5. Plan the bridesmaids’ luncheon.
1. Reserve the rental of the men’s wedding attire.
6. Coordinate the rehearsal dinner (depends upon the restaurant and season).
2. Begin addressing invitations.
7. Have final meetings with the florist, caterer, photographer, musicians, and the volunteers helping with preparations.
3. Arrange for rental of any items needed— such as aisle runner, plant stands, champagne fountain, canopy, limo, etc. 4. Plan the ceremony—including the writing of your own vows, if desired. Two Months Before the Wedding 1. Begin writing thank-you notes for any shower or engagement gifts received to date. 2. Mail invitations. 3. Purchase or borrow the small items—such as the ring pillow, garter, guest book, unity candle, etc. 4. Make up the list of “must” photography and videography shots. 5. Select the music to be performed during the ceremony and reception. Three to Six Weeks Before the Wedding 1. Mail wedding invitations (if not previously done, complete this no later than five to six weeks prior). 2. Start addressing wedding announcements (to be mailed the day after the wedding for those who won’t be attending). 3. Send wedding announcement to local newspaper (depends upon the publication). 4. Apply for the marriage license (depends upon county requirements).
8. Arrange accommodations for out-of-town guests (depends upon the season). 9. Arrange for fitting of your bridal gown, and break in your shoes. 10. Select suitable keepsake gifts for bridesmaids. (Suitable gifts: earrings, a charm, any small piece of jewelry, a picture frame, a compact, or perhaps a necklace to be worn during the ceremony. The gift may be engraved with the wedding date and the recipients initials.) 11. Remind the groom to select keepsake gifts for his ushers. 12. Continue to write thank-you notes as gifts arrive. 13. Make appointment for hair and manicure. 14. Keep groom’s family up to date with a duplicate guest list and a list of any gifts you have received from their friends (ongoing). Three Weeks Before the Wedding 1. Arrange for all the men renting tuxedos to be measured at the rental shop. 2. Finalize rehearsal details. 3. Arrange transportation for the wedding party to and from the church and reception (if providing own transportation).
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Two Weeks Before the Wedding
One Week Prior to the Wedding
1. Confirm the reception guest list and inform caterer.
1. Email time schedule to everyone involved in wedding.
2. Deliver list of “must” shots to photographer.
2. Confirm one last time with vendors (florist, caterer, photographer, etc.).
3. Determine ceremony seating for family members and special guests; give list to ushers or best man during rehearsal. 4. Send reserved-seating cards to special guests and family members, or tell them to identify themselves to the ushers so they can be seated in front. 5. Select a responsible person to handle the guest book at the reception. 6. Save some ribbons from gift and shower packages. Your bridesmaids can make them into mock bouquets to use at the wedding rehearsal. 7. Arrange for transport of your gifts to your home on the wedding day.
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3. Confirm honeymoon reservations and bridal suite reservations for wedding night. 4. Pack for honeymoon. 5. Final fitting of wedding gown. 6. Attend the bridesmaids’ luncheon. 7. Pack boxes of supplies for rehearsal, wedding, and reception. 8. Gather in one place everything you will need to dress for the wedding: gown, veil, underthings, pantyhose (it’s a good idea to purchase an extra pair), and cosmetics. Think— then put everything together.
9. Confirm rehearsal plans with officiant. 10. Arrange to have marriage license delivered to clergyman or justice of the peace. The Final Week 1. Remind the groom to arrange for the best man to drive the getaway car, or to order a car or taxi (this would be done in lieu of limousine). 2. Fill all the cars with gasoline! 3. Remind the maid of honor that it is her duty to inform the bride’s parents and the groom’s parents when the bride and groom are ready to leave after the reception. This is to allow a moment for good-byes. 4. Put honeymoon luggage in the honeymoon car the night before the wedding (all except the cosmetic case). 5. You and your mother should familiarize yourselves with the guest list. It will help when the receiving line forms. 6. Arrange for a supply of sandwiches or snacks for the wedding party, photographers, dressers, and others who will be in your home on the wedding day. Emergency Kit Prepare an emergency kit. You will need bandaids, aspirin, Tylenol, extra pantyhose for bride and bridesmaids. You may want to pack a needle and thread, safety pins, bobby pins, and deodorant. The list can go on and on. Think of what can go wrong—and prepare. You have taken care of everything. Relax and enjoy your wedding.
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Top Career Concerns of the Male Escort by Kurt Schmierer As Proud Times Managing Editor, I received a press release titled “New study of male escorts finds that what they want to know is not what you think.” This study was conducted by the Center for HIV Educational Studies and Training (CHEST) in New York (chestnyc.org), in collaboration with Rentboy.com and HOOK (hook-online.com). After posting this on ProudTimes.com, I contacted one of the study’s researchers, Dr. Christian Grov. Dr. Grov is an Associate Professor of Health and Nutrition Sciences at Brooklyn College, Deputy Chair of Graduate Health Programs, and Campus Director of the CUNY School of Public Health. What he shared sheds additional light on the desires and goals of this stigmatized population. This study came about because HOOK, which provides classes through their program called Rent University, wanted to know what kind of classes they should offer to men in the sexwork industry. After compiling a list of fourteen potential class offerings, Rentboy made this survey available on their site. Dr. Grov told me, “If we wanted to provide services to these guys—what do they want for themselves? What we found was they want to find ways to be better escorts. They want to find the best clients and keep them. They want to learn how to market themselves appropriately online. They want to learn how to manage their money very well.” He added, “HIV came in twelfth place out of fourteen. It tells us that maybe they have all the information that they need or just tells it doesn’t rank high in terms of what they want. It doesn’t mean that they don’t deserve HIV prevention. Thirty percent of them reported
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having unprotected sex with their most recent client. It means seventy percent had safe sex with them, so there clearly is a need there. If we’re going to try to reach these guys with HIV prevention, perhaps by taking a broader approach where you’re reaching out to them to help them in their careers as escorts. You can also slip in things related to HIV prevention. But offering a program that says ‘Come here and learn about HIV,’ you’re not going to get guys in the door.” According to Dr. Grov, “Some of the assumptions that researchers and providers have had about men in the sex industry is that their primary need is going to be HIV prevention. We wanted to know—is that genuinely the case?” He added, “This study is so hot off the presses that I don’t think it’s really penetrated. The press release that we sent out was really the first piece to it and has generated interest from a couple of media sources. What is very interesting is, if you see whenever a study comes out about sex work, you get the positive comments on it from the community—but you also get a lot of really negative, shaming, anonymous comments that people will respond in blogs. I think that speaks to the need for a physical community, or at least an online social support community for men who are involved in escorting.” What’s to come? Dr. Grov shared this: We just completed a paper, but it hasn’t been accepted for publication yet—looking at [male escorts] behavior with their last client, compared with their last noncommercial partner. Talking about this first paper, I came
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up with more questions—that was, they were thinking about more social support and I realized we did ask some questions about how “out” they are to their friends and family—and we find that about almost fifty percent are out to friends and family; a quarter are out to friends only—a quarter haven’t told anyone. I think that’s a new direction that we’re going to explore around the social support that exists for these guys—and how does that impact them behaviorally and psychosocially. That’s what we’re doing with this data set. My colleagues and I are also preparing another study of craigslist escorts. It is our hypothesis that the guys who are advertising for craigslist may be a distinct population from people on profile based websites like Rentboy or Men4Rent. These guys may not self-identify as escorts. They may do this casually. Their behavior may differ. They may be less attached or identified with the Gay Community. We don’t know this; no one’s ever done it. In the next couple of months we’ll be launching an online survey with guys who advertise on craigslist, and then we’re also going to do some face to face interviews with guys who advertise on craigslist to learn more about how they entered it, how do they advertise, what do they do with the money, what do they hope to get out of it, what are their aspirations. That’s the immediate next steps.
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We thank Dr. Grov for taking the time to share more insights he has gleaned through his research. The more we learn about taboo topics, the more we will be capable of Expanding Your Frame of Mind. The findings from this study are forthcoming in the journal Sexuality Research and Social Policy. For more information: Christian Grov cgrov@chestnyc.org
July 2014 | www.proudtimes.com | Page 79
Catch up with the story in previous issues of Proud Times!
and furniture they didn’t need. For now, the three were going to take the chance of living together. Whether they liked each other or not didn’t seem relevant; they were used to each other. Plus, financially it made the most sense since none of them had much money. Candle sought advice from a tribal elder, who advised hir to follow hir heart. “There is always a place for you with the tribe,” he told hir. “I know, and thank you. Perhaps I will come back some day. I cannot find myself on the reservation.”
That short festival known in Spokane as Spring finally came to pass, struggling and beaten like a reindeer forced to deliver Cabbage Patch dolls to bad kids who didn’t deserve anything. Miki and Lilly relented on the 30-day deadline they gave their charges to move out—but enough time had passed by that it was OK for the trio of trouble to pack and go without risking frostbite. “It’s not really that cold,” Skuff commented. “That’s because you’re from here,” Miki said. Thirty years of Spokane hadn’t yet endeared her to its winters. Skuff and Sean played the role of “two big black dudes and a van” to help transport Rolie, Candle and Patrice to their new life. There wasn’t much to take. No one owned a lot, but Miki and Lilly used the move and the men as a way to unload some old appliances
“We can’t find you either, and that is cause for misfortune. When you find that for which you seek, perhaps you will share it with us, and we all can grow.” “Maybe.” Candle felt confined in so many ways. “I am not transgendered,” ze acknowledged, “so much as I have yet to choose a gender.”
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“Maybe you don’t need one.” It was difficult for Candle to understand an LGTBQQIAA world that complained about labels from the outside, but yet labeled everyone from the inside—twink, bear, butch, fem, trans, and so many other upto-the-minute references that people, both pro and con, needed to resort to googling to find out what each new term meant and how to refer to whom on any given day of the week. Yet Candle stood outside all that. “I guess I’m that second Q,” ze said. “The questioning. I just don’t know what to ask.” “The answer will come, then you will know the question,” said hir elder. Still, Candle wasn’t sure contentment was hir way to the future, and so decided to embark on a future with Rolie and Patrice. ----------
Skuff had never been alone with Sean before, not even just in a car or truck (ever, ever, ever)—not that the idea hadn’t crossed his mind when no one was scouring it for evidence. They didn’t know each other well, but Sean had some muscle and Skuff didn’t want to ask Jasper to do anything having to do with Rolie. Jasper was working that afternoon, so Skuff kept him ignorant of the whole enterprise, as he knew it would aggravate Jasper if he spent time alone with Sean and if he was moving people Jasper didn’t like. After an argument or two, or three, or whatever, Skuff and Jasp agreed to still see each other exclusively, but try to loosen the chokehold that love brought with it. Let the love happen on its own without the MiracleGro. Besides that, Skuff reasoned, bringing Sean to the dog pound would distract everyone. Sean was so mesmerizing to look at that anything Skuff had to say or do would just be ignored. It might even make moving fun. Maybe Sean would accidentally touch him… All of that in a fifteen minute ride swirled through his head. Plus, he was so attracted to Sean, his blood ran like a hot tub. Of course, the tub water was cooled by thoughts of Rhonda and her conjoined sister, Ms. Guilt. Not only did he fool his wife in a ten year marriage, but now he was fantasizing about sexing up his replacement. This was a horrible idea, yet Skuff was all for it if for nothing else, a declaration of independence. Sean was used to people being all agog over him and took it for granted. It gave him a confidence that attracted people to him even more. Skuff’s prediction was right—Rolie took one gape and the past was forgiven.
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“Are you single? I could move in with you?” The reality of getting a new place, even though forced on Rolie due to his ill temper, had mellowed him somewhat. The old and fun Rolie peeked through more often. “Actually, I’m dating his wife,” Sean said with a motion to Skuff. Yeah, it was probably time to sign a few papers. “Oh, so you’re straight,” said Patrice. Seeing one of her romance-novel figures come to life, she almost smiled at the possibility—so near and yet so far.
“I’ve been called worse,” Sean said. A couple inches taller than Skuff, he had on jeans that pronounced long lean legs. His torso showed off a blue t-shirt with grey threads picking up the sun. It wasn’t cheap—looked good—biceps etched out—a modicum of gymbuilt muscle underneath—skin a few shades lighter than Skuff, who was busy trying to hold on to his own self-worth in Sean’s shadow. Everyone felt a special way about it except for Candle, who was occupied with introspection, wondering how life would be in the stew of Rolie’s hyper-activity, Patrice’s
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lack of activity, and no lesbian moms to referee. Ze would be the Candle burned at both ends, or just find a coffee house. Or go back to the tribe. The good news was it would only take a couple trips; the better news was how good Sean and Skuff looked hoisting the belongings—glistening, glimmering, glowing— that awesomeness of men getting things done for other people that would have gone viral had someone bothered to film it.
Flowers in her hair, some makeup, a smile, a rediscovered inner peace—creating the private wonderland she had been looking forward to for so long. Coming down the steps slow and regal in her wedding dress. She let Lilly take in her beautiful bride, ready to finally begin that home-alone honeymoon she’d been dreaming of. Lilly
The truck pulled off, and people started a new life—some by moving, some by staying still. ---------Miki looked and listened. Nothing to see and nothing to hear. Nothing to feel. No one else’s emotions barricading the steps. It was a calm this home hadn’t known for a long time. Before the recent crop of strays, there had usually been someone else living there getting some dirt under their feet. Lilly took over the living room where Patrice and Candle had been encamped for the last couple years. “It’s mine again?,” she wondered out loud—almost felt guilty, but not enough to give up her spot. She picked up a tattered romance that Patrice inadvertently left in the cushions. Beautiful people having great sex, why not? “If they can do it, we can do it,” Lilly suggested. “Read a chapter and I’ll be back,” said Miki with a smile. She went upstairs to give herself a quick makeover; she’d been planning this evening for a long time and she didn’t want to leave Lilly down there alone too long. But she had a lesbian agenda.
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put down her book, gave her wife a kiss, and led her back upstairs to practice a few ideas she’d picked up from that frayed and overused Chapter One. “What’s really great about waiting so long to get married,” Miki observed, “is that I’m over 60 and I still fit into my wedding gown.”
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RESOURCES Out & Proud Non-profit Organizations
Inland Northwest Business Alliance (INBA) 9 S. Washington, Ste. 618 Spokane WA 99201 509/455-3699
Imperial Sovereign Court of Spokane (ISCS) P.O. Box 65 Spokane WA 99210-0065
Inland Northwest LGBT Center 9414-A E. 1st Ave. Spokane Valley WA 99206 (509) 326-6847
Odyssey Youth Center 1121 S. Perry St. Spokane WA 99202 509/325-3637
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OutSpokane
Blue Mountain Heart to Heart
P.O. Box 883 Spokane WA 99201-0883 509/720-7609
1520 Kelly Place, Suite 120 Walla Walla WA 99362 509/529-4744
Pride Foundation Farand Gunnels Regional Development Organizer for Eastern Washington P.O. Box 2194 Spokane WA 99210 509/481-0402
Spokane PFLAG Spokane PFLAG P.O. Box 10292 Spokane WA 99209 509/593-0191
College Groups Central Washington University Diversity Education Center Student Union And Recreation Center, Room 250 400 East University Way Ellensburg WA 98926-7455 509/963-2127
North Idaho AIDS Coalition 2201 N. Government Way Coeur d’Alene ID 83814 208/665-1448 866/609-1774
September 2014 | www.proudtimes.com | Page 87
Eastern Washington University Pride Center 105 Showalter Hall
North Idaho College Gay/ Straight Alliance
Cheney WA 99004 509/359-7870
Gonzaga University GLBT Resource Center Unity Multicultural Education Center 730 E. Boone – 2nd Floor Spokane WA 99202 509/313-5847
Gonzaga University School Of Law – Outlaws
Spokane Community College ST:GLOBAL QSA Betsy Lawrence – Advisor 509/533-8103
Spokane Falls Community College – The Alliance Barbara Williamson – Advisor 509/533-4507
University Of Idaho GayStraight Alliance ASUI Office Idaho Commons, Room 302 Moscow ID 83844
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University Of Idaho LGBTQA Office PO Box 441064 Moscow ID 83844 208/885-6583
Washington State University Women’s Resource Center Wilson Hall, Room 8 PO Box 644005 Pullman WA 99164-4005 509/335-6849
Places of Worship Bethany Presbyterian Church 2607 S. Ray St Spokane WA 99223 509/534-0066
St. Clare Ecumenical Catholic Community 3102 W. Ft. George Wright Dr. Spokane WA 99224 509/361-4603
Washington State University GLBTA PO Box 647204 CUB 401 Pullman, WA 99164-7204 509/335-8841
Unitarian Universalist Church of Spokane 4340 W. Fort Wright Drive Spokane WA 99224 509/325-6383
September 2014 | www.proudtimes.com | Page 89
Westminster UCC
Therapists
411 S. Washington Ave. Spokane WA 99204 509/624-1366
Christine Wilson, LMHC
Veradale United Church of Christ 611 North Progress Road Spokane Valley,WA 99037 509/926-7173
TransgenderFriendly Resources Social And Support Group Spokane Trans* People 509/489-1914
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417 N. Maple St. Colville WA 99114 509/690-0715
Juliann Haffey, LMHC, MA 325 S. University Ave. Spokane WA 99206 509-534-9380
Kate Robbins 509/768-8543
Doctors/HRT Prescribers Dr. Cathcart (Endocrinology) Northside Internal Medicine 6120 N. Mayfair St., #101 Spokane WA 99208 509/489-7483
Dr. Will Corell (General Practitioner) Integrative Medicine Associates 3424 S. Grand Blvd. Spokane WA 99203 509/838-5800 800/491-0017
Family Medicine Spokane Dr. Lilly J Wittich MD Dr. Rachel Wright D.O. (General Practitioner) 104 W. 5th Ave., Suite 200W Spokane WA 99204 509/624-2313 website (temporarily unavailable)
Jeffry Hartman MD (Endocrinology) 104 W. 5th Ave., #140W Spokane WA 99204 509/747-2147
Urologist Robert J. Golden MD 12615 E. Mission Ave., #303 Spokane Valley WA 99216-1047 509/921-0099
GP/Gyno Care Dr. William Roth (pronounced “Rooth�) Roth Medical Center 220 E. Rowan Ave., #200 Spokane WA 99207 509/483-4403
South Hill Family Medical Wendy Smith ARNP, MN 3010 S. Southeast Blvd., Ste. A Spokane WA 99223 509/533-1000
HAIR REMOVAL Dianne at Mirage Spa and Salon (Electrologist) 9421 N. Division St. Spokane WA 99218 509/325-5254
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Elain Cain (Electrologist) 18123 E. Appleway Ave. Green Acres WA 99016
Surgeons
Inland Empire Dermatology
Dr. Antonio Mangubat (Breast Augmentation and Chest Reconstruction)
312 N. Mullan Rd. Spokane Valley WA 99206 509/921-7884
16400 Southcenter Parkway, #101 Tukwila WA 98188 206/575-0300
Louisville Laser 6011 N. Division St. Spokane WA 99208 509/482-0655
Voice Therapy Lynette Norton 4407 N. Division St. Spokane WA 99207 509/279-2555
Dr. Tuan Nguyen (Breast augmentation, Chest reconstruction, and MtF SRS) Lake Oswego Plastic Surgery 15820 Quarry Rd Lake Oswego OR 97035 503/635-1955
Legal Assistance Transgender Law Center 415/865-0176
Hormones / Pharmacy Strochecker’s Pharmacy Tyler Treharne, Pharm. D. 2855-A SW Patton Rd. Portland OR 97201 503/222-4822
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General Information
Driver’s license gender marker change
District Court name change petition and instructions
September 2014 | www.proudtimes.com | Page 93
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