9 minute read

DARLENE BUECHEL

Lead the Way

 by Darlene Buechel A pproximately 83,000 people die from Alzheimer’s disease every year. On Oct. 19, 2018 my dad, Gene Totzke, became a part of that horrible statistic when he passed away at age 85.

According to the 2019 Alzheimer’s Association fact sheet, one in three senior citizens dies with Alzheimer’s Disease (AD) or another form of dementia. I was shocked to learn that AD kills more than prostate and breast cancer combined.

We often hear people say, “Just a minute,” when we want their attention, but have you ever thought of what can be accomplished in a mere minute? I found an internet site which lists 40 things you can do in a minute including make your bed, trim your toe nails, and floss your teeth. Sadly, the Alzheimer’s Association lists something else that happens in just over a minute. Every 65 seconds someone in the U.S. develops AD!

To say that Alzheimer’s is becoming an epidemic is no exaggeration. Between 2000 and 2017 deaths from heart disease have decreased 9 percent, but deaths from AD have increased 145 percent. These days AD is the sixth leading cause of death in the U.S. and 5.8 million Americans are living with the disease. Put in prospective, that 5.8 million is more than the population of Chicago and Houston combined! According to the Alzheimer’s Association, by 2050 the number of Americans living with AD is projected to rise to nearly 14 million.

If you don’t have AD or dementia yourself, chances are you know a family member, friend, or neighbor who is living or dying with the disease.

your voice | an essay

The “Totzke Trotters” walked to raise money for the fight against Alzheimer’s Disease.

President Ronald Reagan’s daughter, Patti Davis, wrote a book about losing her father to Alzheimer’s. In “The Long Goodbye” Davis describes saying goodbye in stages. “Alzheimer’s,” she wrote, “snips away at the threads, a slow unraveling, a steady retreat; as a witness all you can do is watch, cry, and whisper a soft stream of goodbyes.”

Everyone has a different journey, but I found that the truly heartbreaking thing about loving a person with memory loss is that you lose them long before they take their last breath. After Dad’s death, my sister Diane and I had many conversations about grief and the grieving process. Most people are familiar with the seven stages of grief defined by Dr. Kubler-Ross: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance.

Some say the process of grief can take anywhere from six months to four years, but Diane and I both felt we went through most of the stages before Dad died—during the more than four years he suffered with Alzheimer’s. I grieved when Dad stopped greeting me by name. I grieved during our Monday Skipbo games at the assisted living center when Dad no longer knew the rules of a game he’d played with Mom for over 40 years. I grieved when Dad spoke of long dead friends as if they were still with us. I also grieved when Dad’s temperament changed and he didn’t love music anymore.

The summer before Dad died a poem “wrote itself” during one of my walks down our quiet, country road. I wanted it read at Dad’s memorial service but I knew I wouldn’t be able to choke my way through it. Thankfully, daughter Danielle did the honors for me. My poem, “I Remember,” talked about my memories with Dad and music, Dad and camping,

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YOUR VOICE | an essay

scouting, and weddings. I was fine until Danielle read the last stanza of the poem: “I smiled when God took your hand. To soar above the trees. He’ll say, ‘Welcome, son. Job well done,’ and return your memories.” I wasn’t the only one reaching for Kleenex at the end of the poem.

Alzheimer’s is a sad, scary disease. Out of the top 10 causes of death in the U.S., Alzheimer’s Disease is the only one without any methods for preventing, curing, or slowing it down. The Alzheimer’s Association says research into a vaccine continues, but so far there are no ways to prevent the disease from developing.

The Alzheimer’s Association sums up their goal with the slogan, “Lead the Way to Alzheimer’s first survivor.” I hope and pray their goal is realized soon. Previous studies have found that people who have a close relative with Alzheimer’s are 4 to 10 times more likely to develop the disease themselves.

The road to a cure seems long and twisted, but money toward research

can go a long way to help. My family heard about the Alzheimer’s Association Walk to End Alzheimer’s and wanted to do our part when we learned this event is the world’s largest fundraiser for support, care, and research for AD.

On Oct. 5, 2019 I, along with seven family members and over 300 other folks, joined the Fond du Lac 2019 Walk to End Alzheimer’s. My daughter Danielle designed T-shirts for our “Totzke Trotters” team. The shirts for greatgrandkids say, “I walk… because memories should last a lifetime,” while the adult shirts say, “Memories Matter.” All are purple or white with purple design since that is the official color of the Alzheimer’s movement.

We raised money for AD research and completed the two-mile trek on that cloudy, windy, October Saturday in honor of my dad, Gene Totzke, and all of the other Americans living and dying with Alzheimer’s. I felt Dad’s presence every step of the way and am confident God did return his memories.

Youngsters on our The “Totzke Trotters” little guys were (from left) Axel, Landon, and Maverick.

team included Maverick Breckheimer (9), Axel Breckheimer (6), and Landon McClone (6 months). My hope and prayer is that these boys— along with everyone in their generation—never have to suffer the “Long Goodbye” of a loved one. With research, money, and Alzheimer’s awareness, I truly hope we can LEAD THE WAY to a cure. (For more information on the Alzheimer’s Association and yearly Walk to End Alzheimer’s, please visit ALZ.org) 

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HONORING Lake Street Café

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Theatre Company Presents Like Mother, Like Daughter Get Stronger Together Like Mother, Like Daughter Get Stronger Together Like Mother, Like Daughter Get Stronger Together Like Mother, Like Daughter Get Stronger Together Like Mother, Like Daughter Get Stronger Together If It’s Monday, This Must

Join Together and Split Join Together and Split the Enrollment Fee * Join Together and Split the Enrollment Fee * Join Together and Split the Enrollment Fee * Join Together and Split the Enrollment Fee * Be Murder! Locally Owned and Operated Locally Owned and Operated Locally Owned and Operated Locally Owned and Operated Comedy/Drama by Pat Cook - Directed by Kerrylynn Kraemer 508 Broadway St., Sheboygan Falls 508 Broadway St., Sheboygan Falls 920.467.2531 508 Broadway St., Sheboygan Falls 920.467.2531 508 Broadway St., Sheboygan Falls 508 Broadway St., Sheboygan Falls Fri.-Sat., Sept. 25-26 ~ 7:30pm 920.467.2531 920.467.2531 Sun., Sept. 27 ~ 2:30pm

*Each person pays 50% of full enrollment fee. Monthly membership fees also required and vary by location. Offer expires 12/31/18 and requires joining same day as first visit for a minimum 12-month recurring *Each person pays 50% of full enrollment fee. Monthly membership fees also required and vary by location. Offer expires 12/31/18 and requires joining same day as first visit for a minimum 12-month recurring *Each person pays 50% of full enrollment fee. Monthly membership fees also required and vary by location. Offer expires 12/31/18 and requires joining same day as first visit for a minimum 12-month recurring Advance Tickets Only: $10 Per Person billing contract. Valid for new and returning Curves members. Not valid with any other offer or discount. Valid at participating billing contract. Valid for new and returning Curves members. Not valid with any other offer or discount. Valid at participating locations only. No cash value. © 2017 CURVES INTERNATIONAL, INC. ( 1705 ) billing contract. Valid for new and returning Curves members. Not valid with any other offer or discount. Valid at participating locations only. No cash value. © 2017 CURVES INTERNATIONAL, INC. ( 1705 ) *Each person pays 50% of full enrollment fee. Monthly membership fees also required and vary by location. Offer expires 12/31/18 and requires joining same day as first visit for a minimum 12-month recurring billing contract. Valid for new and returning Curves members. Not valid with any other offer or discount. Valid at participating *Each person pays 50% of full enrollment fee. Monthly membership fees also required and vary by location. Offer expires 12/31/18 and requires joining same day as first visit for a minimum 12-month recurring billing contract. Valid for new and returning Curves members. Not valid with any other offer or discount. Valid at participating Call 920-892-8409 or online at www.plymoutharts.org locations only. No cash value. © 2017 CURVES INTERNATIONAL, INC. ( 1705 ) locations only. No cash value. © 2017 CURVES INTERNATIONAL, INC. ( 1705 ) Visa and Mastercard accepted. Please note: Seating will be limited. Groups ordering will be seated together. We are practicing social distancing, and are requiring guests to wear a mask. In the event that we are not able to present the play in person, we will send a link that will allow you to watch a virtual production.

Like Mother, Like Daughter Like Mother, Like Daughter Produced by special arrangement with the DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY of Woodstock, Illinois

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