Exquisite Bridal Magazine 2014

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Exquisite Tips for writing your own wedding vows.........................Pg.7 Engagement photo tips....................................................Pg.8 Choosing a wedding date wisley...................................Pg.10 Wedding invitations tip sheet .........................................Pg.17 Makeup tips for brides and bridesmaids.......................Pg.18 How to help guests save on travel ................................Pg.19 Edible wedding favors make a fine choice....................Pg.22 Do-it-yourself wedding...................................................Pg.26 Let the countdown begin (Wedding Checklist) .............Pg.28 Make guests feel special with these extra touches ......Pg.34 Overnight accommodations for wedding guests .........Pg.34 Is a wedding loan right for you? ....................................Pg.39 Easy ways to trim costs on your wedding reception ....Pg.42 How to calm those last-minute jitters ............................Pg.46 Tips when toasting the bride and groom ......................Pg.46 Tips for trying on wedding gowns .................................Pg.47 Flavorful wedding cakes ................................................Pg.50 Tips for newlyweds about to merge finances ...............Pg.51 Origins of the term “honeymoon” ..................................Pg.52 Honeymoon how-to .......................................................Pg.52 Secrets to a long and happy marriage ..........................Pg.53 Index of advertisers ........................................................Pg.54 Published by Denton Publications Inc 14 Hand Avenue, Elizabethtown, New York 12932 (518) 873-6368 Fax: (518) 873-6360

Cover photo by Semeraro Photography www.semerarophotography.com

Aspiring Photography By Jessica

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Did you know?

Symbolic gestures are commonplace during wedding ceremonies. The exchange of rings, stomping on a glass and lighting of candles are each among the various traditions associated with different faiths.

Couples who would like to try something a bit different can opt for pouring sand. Choose two different colored sands and decorative vessels that can hold the sand until a special time in the ceremony. You also will need another large, clear container that will contain the sand once it is poured. A glass vase or heart-shaped vessel works well.

To symbolize the joining of two lives together, both the bride and groom can take one of the colors of sand and begin pouring them together into the larger container.

The ribbons of sand will join and meld together, much as the couple’s separate lives will now become one. The finished sand art can be kept on a mantle as a remembrance of the wedding day for years to come.

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Table of contents

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Bridal Guide

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2014, Exquisite Bridal Guide | 5

vows

Tips for writing your

own wedding

Writing your own vows can be a way to include personal expressions of love into a couple’s wedding day.

•

Jot down your feelings. Answer some questions about what marriage means to you and how you feel about your spouse. Try to avoid trite sayings and think from your heart and personal experiences. Think about what is the most important thing you want to promise to your future partner. These notes can serve as the starting points for the actual vows.

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•

Read inspirational writings. Perhaps there is an author or a poet who inspires you? You can quote certain writers in your vows or let the tone of their works help shape the words of your vows.

There also are suggested wedding readings and other quotes about marriage readily available at the library or with a quick search online.

•

Establish an outline. Put together all of the words and phrases you’ve jotted down into an outline to help you organize the flow of the vows, using these words as a blueprint for the vows and building upon them. Make sure the vows will be concise.

Aim for your entire speech to be around 1 minute in length to keep everyone engaged and the ceremony moving along.

•

Decide on a tone. Although the day is based on love and affection, you may not feel comfortable spouting words of adoration in front of friends and family. Feel free to tap into your unique personality. Humor can be used if it aligns with the way you normally express your affections. Be sure to weave this tone into more traditional passages to create a cohesive expression of your feelings.

•

Put everything together. Draft your vows and then practice them by reading out loud. You want to avoid long sentences or anything that trips you up. Although large words may sound impressive, they could make the vows seem too academic and not necessarily heartfelt. Enlist the help of a friend or two to act as your audience to see if the vows sound good and are easily understandable.

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When shopping around for a photographer, there are certain things couples should keep in mind.

The first and most important is selecting a photographer you can relate to. If you don’t feel a connection with the photographer, he or she will have trouble coaxing the shots that will produce the best results. He or she should also be a professional and have some experience working with posing couples. This way the photos don’t look stiff or contrived. Here are some other tips that can lead to great photos.

• Find a photographer who fits your style. If you’re a quirky couple, go with a quirky photographer.

If you’re reserved and a follow-the-book type of couple, then select a more traditional photographer. Some photographers out there forget that this is your moment and want to impart their idea of what you want. Make sure he or she takes your ideas into consideration.

Newly engaged couples choose to capture the occasion in photos that they can cherish.

Often, one of these photos is used as an announcement to family and friends and might even be published in the newspaper.

• Select one who is open to different shoot locations and brainstorming. Some of the best photos occur in natural settings, where things aren’t entirely planned. If a photographer simply works out of a studio, you may want to select one who has more free reign with different locales.

Engagement photo tips E

ngagement photos may be part of a package negotiated with the photographer who will be covering the wedding day. Some couples enlist the help of a friend or a budding photographer to capture an engagement shot. The average cost of engagement photos can range from $200 to $500. Some couples opt to use a photographer who might specialize in other areas (i.e. fashion models) but may want to break into the wedding biz because of how lucrative it can be.

Costs may be negotiated as a result.

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• Choose your location wisely. Certain locations will stand out in your minds because they are visually stunning or are special places where you have spent moments as a couple. By choosing a place that offers a personal connection, there’s a good chance you’ll appreciate the photos in the long run. Also, be open to the fact that unplanned stops may offer a great background for the image.

Be open to the unexpected.

• Try random poses and some candid shots. Although you might have a vision of the perfect photo in your mind, experimenting with different ideas can sometimes lead to a great photo you really love. Expect to take your share of kissing, nosetouching and portrait shots. But some fun poses, such as running or jumping (or rolling around on a beach full of waves) can produce candid shots that are truly masterpieces. Remember, sometimes photographers will pose you in positions that seem a bit awkward, but this is to get the best lines of the body and flattering images.

• Choose clothing that fits the mood. If time and budget allows, have several different wardrobe changes so that you can see which outfits work and which ones don’t. A formal outfit, comfortable street clothes, something beachy or clothing that fits with your interests (such as polo or baseball) can make for interesting engagement photos. Avoid clothing that is too trendy or busy, which may take away from the actual images in the long run. Plus, you don’t want to look back at these photos in the future and say, “What was Ithinking?” Avoid matchy-matchy, though. If you are dressed alike, you may appear to be trying too hard. It’s the individual personalities you want to shine through.

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Photo by Howard Jenning Photography

Aspiring Photography By Jessica

Photo by Howard Jenning Photography

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Aspiring Photography By Jessica

Aspiring Photography By Jessica

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Many couples find themselves bombarded with questions the moment they become engaged, and perhaps no questions is more common than, “When is the wedding?�

Choosing a wedding date

wisley

Although a number of couples would prefer to bask in the excitement of their engagement, some couples feel pressured to rush into picking a wedding date. Choosing a wedding date without giving it much consideration may make things more difficult down the road. Rather than jumping head first into any decisions, couples should give thought to any and all dates and decide if there are certain times of the year they want to tie the knot or avoid.

10 | Exquisite Bridal Guide, 2014

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Season When thinking about potential wedding dates, it helps to have a place to start. Some couples find it helpful to start with a particular season and then narrow it down from there.

Decide if you prefer the lush greenery of summer or the amazing color spectrum of an autumn afternoon. Perhaps you envision arriving at the ceremony with a snow-packed landscape amid twinkling holiday lights? Think about the season when you feel most happy and then determine if that time of year is doable.

Month Certain months may seem perfect, but not for busy professionals or those with limited vacation time at their disposal.

For example, early spring may not be good for accountants tallying year-end numbers. Teachers may feel most comfortable tying the knot in the summer when they already have days off. If you run a pool business or a lawn maintenance company, then the summer might not be so good. Keep these factors in mind.

Holidays Some people would like to tie their wedding day to a particular holiday. Valentine’s Day is popular for weddings thanks to the romantic sentiments synonymous with the holiday, while some couples prefer Halloween or Christmas weddings. Holiday weddings can be exciting, but they also produce significant obstacles that couples who choose to get married during other times of year don’t have to worry about. Guests may not want to travel or spend time away from their families to attend a holiday wedding. Having a wedding during a holiday may mean competing for vendors and reception spaces. Prices on everything from food to flowers to airline tickets could be higher as vendors cash in on customer demand.

Day of the week It’s less expensive for couples to get married on Fridays and Sundays than Saturday afternoons or evenings. Couples may think that the money saved will be well worth it, but they also should think about how this decision may affect their guests. A Friday wedding requires people to take off from work or school. Sunday weddings may be slightly more convenient, but those who have to get back to work on Monday may be tired from late-night festivities. Couples should anticipate some guests not making it to their weddings when those weddings are not on Saturdays.

Any available dates Your wedding date may be dictated by your caterer or wedding hall. If you have a particular venue in mind, you may be limited by their availability. This is a concession you will need to make if your heart is set on this particular location.

Planning a wedding can be exciting.

But the ball cannot get rolling until couples first choose the day they will tie the knot.

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For decades the month of June held firm as the most popular month for weddings. But statistics now indicate that there may be shifting preferences in the time of the year for marriages. According to The National Center for Health Statistics, July and August are now the most popular months for tying the knot in the United States. September and October have also gained momentum as premier months.

Explanations for this shift vary, but it may have something to do with changing weather patterns and warmer weather now arriving later in the season than in the past. Also, getting married later in the year may make it easier for couples to secure their first choice of wedding venues.

2014, Exquisite Bridal Guide | 15

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Wedding invitations

tip sheet

A

Wedding invitations often provide guests with a first glimpse of a wedding’s style. Invitations also may serve as the means by which distant friends and relatives find out about a couple’s pending nuptials if a formal announcement was not made.

mid the flourishes of calligraphy and impressive paper stock is information that speaks to the importance of the day when two people will be joining their lives together. Guests will learn not only the time and the place of the wedding from the invitation, but also the formality of the event and the scope of the party that will follow.

Couples should keep certain things in mind as they begin to design their wedding invitations.

Have a good idea of your potential guest list.

Before shopping for wedding invitations, it is key to have a strong idea of just how big the wedding will be and how many guests will be invited. This way you will know how many invitations you will need. Invitations vary in price, so cost may be a consideration if your guest list is extensive.

• Decide on the formality of the wedding.

Will you be hosting a black tie affair, or will it be a casual gathering at the shore? Guests infer many things about the wedding from the invitations, which should match the formality of the event in style and the sentiments expressed. An ornate invitation written with classic wording suggests a more formal affair, while a whimsical invitation with less formal wording could indicate a more laid-back event.

• Dare to be different by playing with invitation sizes and shapes. Rectangular cards are standard for wedding invitations, but you can explore your creativity by

17 | Exquisite Bridal Guide, 2014

choosing more modern, artsy invitations.

Circular invites or scalloped edges can add some whimsy to the wedding mood.

Invitations that fold out or are embellished with ribbon or other decorations can be appealing. Just keep in mind that cards that are not the standard shape and size could be more costly to send. Always have the entire wedding invitation weighed and priced at the post office so you will know what the postage will cost.

• Choose a legible font and text color. Your invitation may look beautiful, but it may prove ineffective if it is difficult to read. Do not risk guests misinterpreting the date or the location because they cannot read the writing on the invitation. Steer clear of pastel or yellow text colors, and remember to have a high contrast between the color of the invitation and the text you are using for easy reading.

• Keep the invitation simple. It may be tempting to load the invitation with lots of information, but all you really need are the key pieces of information, such as the “who,” “what,” “where,” and “when.” Crowding the card will take away from its aesthetic appeal.

Most stationers will suggest a separate, smaller insert in the wedding invitation for

the reception information and response card.

Never put information such as where you are registered or “no kids allowed.” This is material better reserved for word of mouth or on a wedding Web site.

• Do some math. It is important to know your dates so you can receive the invitations on time, mail them out, and give guests enough time to respond. A good rule of thumb is to mail out the invitations at least two months before the wedding. Have an RSVP date of no more than three to four weeks before the wedding, giving ample time to the caterers and accommodating anyone who procrastinates in sending in a response. You will need the final headcount in order to confirm seating arrangements and plan for centerpieces and favors.

• Handwrite the envelopes. Your invitation will look more impressive if you address them by hand, rather than printing them off of a computer. If your handwriting is not very neat, consider hiring a professional calligrapher to write out your envelopes.

• Make it easy for guests to respond. Be sure to place a stamp on the response card envelope and have that envelope already addressed with your home address so that guests will have no excuses not to mail a response back promptly.

• Always order extra. Mistakes happen, and you may need to send out a few extra invitations that you hadn’t originally counted.

Always order extra invitations just to be on the safe side. And don’t forget you will probably want to keep one as a keepsake for yourself.

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Makeup Tips for brides and bridesmaids

F

ew events are more photographed than weddings. Needless to say, wedding participants, from brides and grooms to the couples’ parents, hope to look their best for the celebrations. Women often find that well applied cosmetics can enhance their beauty and help ensure they are picture-perfect.

The key to wedding makeup is finding a balance between application that will come across well in person and will look good in photographs.

Professional makeup artists may understand just how heavy a hand to use to apply makeup, but the novice do-it-yourselfer may need some instruction to master wedding day makeup.

Very often the key to wedding makeup is simplicity.

Brides want their best features enhanced and have the makeup add to their beauty rather than outshine it. Brides want guests to notice their faces and gowns and not their makeup. Here are some other tips brides can employ in an effort to put their best faces forward. * Begin preparations a few days prior to the wedding. If you will be enhancing your skin color with a spray-tan, do so at least two days prior to the wedding. By the third day the color will set and appear more natural. The same idea applies to your brows. Tweezing, waxing and threading can create irritation and redness. Have your brows

18 | Exquisite Bridal Guide, 2014

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professionally shaped a few days before the wedding and then do a minor touchup with your tweezer the night before. This allows your skin to recover and redness to dissipate. * Start out with well hydrated and moisturized skin. Apply a few layers of moisturizer, preferably one with an SPF if you will be spending time out in the sun. When the moisturizer is completely absorbed and dry, use a skin priming product that will help keep your foundation locked into place. * Match your foundation color to your natural skin color. When these colors don’t match, your face may look like it is a separate shade from your neck and decolletage. If you will be tanning, then find a shade that matches the tanned color. A foundation that has slightly yellow undertones will even out redness on the face and look better in photos. Apply the foundation thoroughly with a sponge or brush and be sure to blend it well at your neckline. Set the foundation with a matte powder. * Apply concealer to red spots or undereye circles after the foundation. Aim for a creamy, emollient concealer for under the eyes. A peach color that will contrast with the purple and blue tones of your eyelids. Putting on the concealer after the foundation means you will probably need less and won’t look like you’re caked with product. * Use an eyebrow pencil or powder to fill in your brows. This is a must for your wedding day and can really help to frame your eyes.

Use small, light flicks of the pencil rather than long strokes to make the color blend naturally. Use a brush to blend in further.

Always go a shade or two lighter than your natural color. Finish with a gel that will set the hairs into place. * Complement your lips and eyes. Many brides like to play up their eyes on their wedding days. If you are going for a dramatic eye, opt for a more neutral lip, and vice versa. Otherwise, you may look like you’re wearing stage makeup. Neutral colors look best for weddings and will not appear dated in photos. Stick to subtle browns and taupes for universal flattery on most eye colors. Use a light hand to apply

a neutral shade of light shadow all over the lid. Apply a medium brown to the crease of the eye and a darker brown to the very outer corner, and blend thoroughly. A very light shade of shadow can be used directly under the browline and toward the inside of the eye to make eyes appear wide and bright.

Stick with matte shades of eye shadow, with the exception of one pearlescent shade that is lightly dusted right in the center of the lid from the lashline to the crease. This will add just a touch of luster to catch the light and make eyes sparkle. * Apply liner before mascara, and blend it with a brush. Push the liner into the lashline to make lashes appear thicker.

Use mascara to lengthen lashes. Place a makeup sponge behind your lashes when applying mascara so you don’t risk hitting your lids with the mascara wand. If you will be using false lashes, apply them now. Err on the shorter side for fake lashes, and cut them as needed to fit your eye. Lashes that are too long or full may appear cartoonish and can be uncomfortable to wear. Connect your lashes together with the false ones with another application of mascara. Waterproof mascara will hold up through tears of joy. * Be subtle with blush. Use subtle blush in a peach-pink color to achieve that blushing bride appearance. Smile and apply the blush only to the apples of your cheeks. * Choose a long-lasting lip color that will hold up through kisses and smiles. Lip stains work very well, as they provide that hint of color but wear well during the day.

Another helpful tip is to perform a practice run prior to the wedding, taking some photographs to see how the makeup looks in pictures. Cameras and flashes can wash out makeup, so sometimes you need to apply just a little bit more than usual for it to show up on film. Also, certain makeup products will reflect light more. Don’t forget to stock up on oil-blotting papers to touch up your face during the day.

How to help guests save on

travel

Weddings are typically expensive affairs.

Couples may be willing to go the extra mile and stretch their finances for their big day, but what about their guests? Couples ask much of their out-of-town wedding guests, who must arrange for travel and lodging and possibly even childcare if they are bringing young children.

Because traveling to a wedding can be such a costly expenditure, many couples look for ways to alleviate some of the financial pressure that this travel places on their guests. The following are a few ways couples can do just that. * Find an airport-friendly wedding destination. Couples who can get married within a short distance of a major airport can save their guests a significant amount of money. A major airport has more flights, and that can translate to more options and more affordable flights for your guests.

In addition, a wedding destination that is close to an airport reduces the chance that guests will have to pay for rental cars. A cab ride to the hotel might be less expensive than a rental car, which guests may not need aside from getting to and from the airport. * Inquire about group airline rates. Couples know to negotiate group hotel rates for their wedding guests, but few may know it’s possible to negotiate group airline rates as well. If a large number of your wedding guests will be traveling from the same city, contact the major airlines to see if they offer group travel discounts. Many airlines do, so comparison shop to find your guests the best deal. * Consider a longer engagement. A longer engagement can save your guests money on travel. Couples who choose to have a longer engagement and send savethe-date cards out early are giving their guests more time to book flights and find deals. Flights tend to be less expensive when booked well in advance, so a longer engagement gives guests more time to find a flight that’s affordable. In addition, travelers who can book early often get the first crack at the best flight times, saving themselves the nuisance of taking a redeye flight or traveling early in the morning.

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Edible

wedding favors make a fine choice A token of appreciation for guests is requisite at wedding receptions. Wedding favors enable attendees to walk away from the event with a memento and also a small thank you for their participation and celebration of this momentous event.

22 | Exquisite Bridal Guide, 2014

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Bonbonnieres were once a popular wedding favor. A bonbonniere is a small, decorative box made of porcelain, crystal or gold. It is embellished with colorful and precious gems. Inside the box houses a sweet delicacy, often called a bonbon. In modern times, many couples are returning to the tradition of giving bonbonnieres or other edible favors as their wedding celebration thank-yous.

Edible favors are often economical and guests tend to appreciate them. After all, guests have to find a nook in their homes in which to house an engraved ice cream scooper or yet another small statuette.

Edible gifts can be as varied as a person desires. Candy-coated almonds are still popular, but many couples have expanded their choices and have created new trends in favors. For those couples seeking a unique edible favor for the wedding, here are some suggestions.

• Cake or brownie pops: Food on a stick has long been a favorite of many, but the concept has been taken to new heights with the creation of cake pops.

These are small balls of cake or brownie that are made from cake crumbs and frosting. The balls are covered in candy melts or chocolate and served on a stick.

Chocolate artists can transform ordinary cake pops into

Photo by Greer Cicarelli Photography

I

n the past, wedding favors were not much different from the items offered today, and not every guest was privy to a take-home trinket. In the 16th century, wedding favors were a sign of extravagance and showed off the family’s wealth to the guests. Only rich and prominent people during those times could afford and provide sophisticated gifts to their guests. Some favors symbolized luck, and sharing them with guests ensured good luck to all as well. Almonds were common favors because they symbolized fertility, health, happiness, wealth, and longevity.

Brides- and groomsto-be have different ideas when it comes to wedding favors. Guests have their own opinions, too. As customs and trends change, so do the options in wedding favors.

works of art with intricate piping designs on the hard, outer shell.

Clear cello bags and decorative ribbon may be all that’s necessary for a classic wrapping.

• Cookies: Pastry arts continue to be popular favors for any occasion. Many bakeries offer intricately designed and decorated cookies that can pertain to any theme. Think about a wedding couple or a set of rings as the cookie of choice for a wedding favor. Most cookies last 2 to 3 weeks, so they can be purchased in advance.

• Petit fours: These bite-sized pastries lend themselves well to wedding favors. They can easily be paired and put in small boxes as take-home treats. Some bakeries create petit fours on demand. If not, petit fours can be purchased through online vendors.

• Chocolate: Gourmet chocolate remains a popular edible favor.

Choose among truffles, caramels, chocolate-covered pretzels, or any favorite treat. Depending on the chocolatier, favors may come preboxed and wrapped.

• Seasonal treats: If a wedding coincides with a particular season or holiday, favors can be coordinated as well. Think caramel-covered apples for fall parties, chocolate bunnies for spring events, spiced cake bars for the winter holidays or lemon tarts for summer weddings.

Wedding favors have been a part of wedding ceremonies for centuries.

Edible gifts are thoughtful and flavorful mementos of the wedding day.

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2014, Exquisite Bridal Guide | 25

Do-it-yourself wedding T

hose thinking about tying the knot in the months to come may be discouraged by how expensive weddings can be. But with a little ingenuity and a hands-on approach, couples can have a wedding that is inexpensive and memorable at the same time.

According to CostofWedding.com, on average, U.S. couples spend $26,542 for their weddings. Weddingbells magazine states that the average cost for a wedding in Canada is $23,330, up from $20,129 in 2010. These amounts do not include the cost for an engagement ring or wedding bands. With such a high price tag, some couples may wonder if they can afford their dream wedding or if there are ways to cut costs. Having a backyard, DIY wedding can be the answer.

Although some may envision a backyard

Grab a notebook and start making lists of all the things you will need: Work in Advance Many items necessary for a wedding can be bought in advance. Some couples find that purchasing low-cost items at discount stores turns out to be less expensive than renting. For example, inexpensive glasses and silverware can be bought at dollar stores or chains like Ikea.

Later on these items can be kept, sold or even donated to shelters.

Tablecloths don’t have to be the traditional kind. It may be less expensive to purchase pieces of fabric from a fabric store and dressing them up oneself.

Candles can be stockpiled relatively easy and provide a very affordable means of ambient light. Plan out centerpiece ideas and figure out which components

26 | Exquisite Bridal Guide, 2014

wedding with picnic benches and Dad at the grill, it can be a much classier affair than that. Smart couples are realizing that the money they would normally spend on a big wedding at an outside venue can be put to better use, either through buying a new home or fixing up one they may already own. Furthermore, for couples who are picky about details, having a DIY event ensures that they can control the details and have them as personal as they would like.

Getting Started A DIY wedding is one that will take much more work than simply hiring vendors and leaving the details to them. But the money saved with sweat equity can be substantial. A wellplanned wedding is the

• location • tables and chairs • linens • food • silverware and glassware • invitations • photography • music

• officiant • music • centerpieces and other decor • cake or dessert • lighting • attire • flowers

can be bought and stored. Then items can be assembled at leisure. Wedding stationery is one thing that will have to be bought well in advance so there will be time enough to printout save-thedates, invitations and response cards, as well as mail them.

An informal wedding may mean couples can get simple attire.

Buying off the rack may mean a smaller price tag for gowns.

Gentleman may be able to fare with sportcoats and slacks.

Purchase wardrobe essentials several months in advance to be sure there will be time for alterations, if necessary.

Enlist the help of family and friends to get many of the tasks completed. Upon asking, many

couples find there are members of the family who have skills in certain areas, which can be tapped for the wedding. There may be a gourmet chef, a disc jockey, a photographer or even someone who can officiate the vows. Having these people on board means a great reduction in costs.

Readying the Venue Because couples will be doing the work themselves, it’s best to start several days in advance of the wedding (weather permitting).

Be sure the grounds are well groomed and landscaped. Ensure there are no tripping hazards and that there is a sturdy surface for placing tables or creating a dance floor.

It may pay to ask an electrician or someone who dabbles in electric work to help string some lights to better illuminate the area, especially for when the sun goes down.

Set up the tables and chairs to finalize placement the day before.

Figure out where the ceremony will take place. A small arbor can mark the area and make a nice photo backdrop. Dress the tables with linens and settings the morning of the wedding.

One splurge couples may want to make is hiring a waitstaff to help set up food service areas, serve as bartenders and clear away dishes and other messes. This way the bride and groom can mingle with guests.

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Countdown Begin Let the

Times to put those dreams to reality with this helpful bridal planner

28 | Exquisite Bridal Guide, 2014

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T

o help you get a better understanding of how to plan a wedding and when you should be making certain decisions, throughout this edition is a timeframe you can follow that should ensure that your wedding goes off as smoothly as possible.

12-9 Months Before ❏

Set an initial budget.

❏

Select a wedding date and time.

❏

Determine the type of wedding you want.

9-6 Months Before ❏

Start compiling the guest list.

(inform your families to do the same)

❏

Select the attendants for your wedding party.

(day/night, indoor/outdoor, formal/casual)

❏

Purchase the bride’s gown.

❏

Research availability of reception locations.

❏

Purchase the groom’s tuxedo.

❏

Purchase bridesmaids’ dresses.

❏

Select and book your reception loction, or get a tent if that is what you decided upon.

❏

Arrange for your groommen to be measured and reserve the tuxedos.

❏

Find a caterer if not already provided by the reception facility.

❏

Shop for the wedding dress, headpiece, veil, and other accessories.

❏

Research availability of ceremony locations, if not included with your reception site.

❏

Order the wedding cake, if not provided by the caterer or reception hall.

❏

Select and book your ceremony location.

❏

Choose and reserve your florist.

❏

The parents of the groom should begin to arrange the Rehearsal Dinner, and reserve a restaurant or make other arrangements.

❏

Arrange for transportation for the wedding. Limousines, vans, etc.

❏

Start planning for honeymoon, research your destinations. Will it be a Caribbean Island, the South Pacific, Hawaii, a cruise, or a trip through urope.Whatever, you decide research thoroughly.

❏

Determine who will officiate at the ceremony, if not provided with the ceremony location.

❏

Detemine how many guests you wish to invite.

❏

Set aside blocks of hotel/ motel rooms for out-of-town guests.

❏

Get a band or DJ, get one early because they can get booked quickly.

❏

Decide if you want a bridal party, and if so, then how large.

❏

Start to research your bridal gowns.

❏

Start to research the grooms/ groomsmen formal wear/tuxedo.

❏

Start to research bridesmaids’ dresses.

❏

6-4 Months Before ❏

Check require ments for blood test and marriage license in your state.

❏

Shop for wedding rings.

❏

Select and order the invitations and stationery.

Compare and find a photographer/ videographer.

❏

Make sure all the men’s attire has been ordered.

❏

Find local florists and set appointments to look at their work.

❏

Decide where to live after the wedding.

❏

Create a bridal registry, and/or an engagement registry.

❏

Complete the guest lists.

Announce your engagement in the newspaper.

❏

Begin shopping for trousseau.

❏

❏

❏

Send your accouncement to: Denton Publications, Inc. PO Box 338, Elizabethtown, New York 12932

Inform mothers to select their dresses.

❏

Finalize honeymoon details and make the necessary reservations.

Continued on page 30

29www.denpubs.com | Exquisite Bridal Guide, 2014

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6-4 Weeks Before ❏

Prepare all maps and directions for the ceremony and reception.

Decide what your menu is going to be for the reception. Estimate the expected number of guests.

❏

Buy a gift for the groom.

❏

Select your wedding rings.

❏

❏

Buy a wedding guest book.

❏

Set the dates and times with the officiant for the rehearsal.

Schedule a final fitting for your gown so it is ready for your formal bridal portrait.

❏

Plan the bridesmaids’ luncheon and any other parties.

❏

Check requirements for blood test and marriage license in your state.

❏

❏

❏

❏

Determine resources for designing and printing the program for the ceremony.

Finalize the florist details, photographer, videographer, musicians, etc.

Plan a rehearsal dinner, time and place.

❏

Confirm the wedding cake details with the baker.

Pick up your wedding rings.

❏

Purchase (borrow) all wedding accessories such as the ring pillow, garter belt, etc.

❏

Confirm florist details and delivery times.

❏

Start writing placement cards.

2 Weeks Before

Arrange the necessary accommodations for out-of-town guests.

❏

❏

❏

8-6 Weeks Before ❏

Mail invitations and announcements.

❏

Prepare a portrait for the newspaper.

❏

Set appointment with photographer for your formal bridal portrait.

Call any guests who have not responded.

❏

Wrap and present the wedding party gifts.

❏

Start packing for your honeymoon.

❏

Finish all the place cards for the reception.

❏

Review all the final details with your photographer, videographer, etc.

❏

Give a final head count to the caterer.

❏

Confirm the availability of the musicians and vocalists.

❏

Delegate responsibilities to reliable individuals on your wedding day.

❏

Finalize your rehearsal dinner arrangements or other plans.

1 Day Before

Make arrangements to have your wedding gifts moved to your new home.

❏

Get a manicure or massage to relax yourself.

❏

Stay with your family the night before and sleep early.

Review and rehearse all the details of your participants.

❏

Handle business and legal details such as name changes, address changes, etc.

❏

Prepare the wedding announcement for the newspaper.

❏

❏

Make sure all clothing and accessories for you and the bridal party are ready.

The Big Day!

❏

❏

Make sure the best man and maid of honor sign the wedding certificate.

❏

Allow yourself plenty of time to get dressed.

Get your marriage license.

1 Week Before ❏

Review any seating details with the ushers.

❏

Be sure to eat properly.

❏

Prepare for your hairdresser and makeup appointments.

❏

Select gifts for all your attendants.

❏

Set appointments with any hairdressers and/or makeup artists.

❏

Make sure all wedding attire fits.

❏

Finalize the seating arrangements.

❏

Hire the limousine or other forms of transportation for the wedding.

❏

Reconfirm your honeymoon reservations. Ensure you have necessary plane tickets.

Rest and relax with a good bath.

Photo by Howard Jenning Photography

Photo by Howard Jenning Photography

—You need it!

Photo by Howard Jenning Photography

30 | Exquisite Bridal Guide, 2014

❏

Photo by Howard Jenning Photography

4-2 Months Before

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Make guests feel special with these extra touches Wedding receptions run the gamut from small, intimate gatherings in a restaurant to large spectacles featuring hundreds of guests inside a banquet hall. At the heart of any wedding reception is the desire to present a memorable party for all in attendance. That being said, there are some steps couples can take to add extra indulgence to wedding receptions and really set them apart from the mundane.

• Butler-passed hors d’oeuvres: During the cocktail hour guests are mingling and taking advantage of the opportunity to engage in conversation. This may be the last real opportunity to chat amongst one another before the volume of the band or deejay drowns out discussions. Rather than disrupt the flow of conversation to make a trip to the food stations, choose butler-passed hors d’oeuvres to bring food right to the guests. It lends a feeling of indulgence and is also a convenient way to keep guests satiated.

• Valet parking: While you will be whisked to and from in the back of a limousine, guests will have to do their own driving.

Being able to exit the car right in front of the venue and not worry about finding a parking space will be convenient for guests.

• Specialty courses: In addition to the cocktail hour and the main meal, you may be able to arrange specialty stations for guests with particular palates or interests.

Some couples like to have a cigar smoking area or you can offer specialty cocktails. When ethnic customs are included in a wedding, menu items can be geared around native dishes. Candy and dessert bars are also popular to have at weddings, particularly if children are invited. A flambe dessert presentation is both a spectacle and a treat.

Overnight accommodations for

W

wedding guests

hen your parents or grandparents got married, there was a good chance that their closest relatives and friends lived nearby -- in the neighborhood. Attending the wedding was easy, and everyone headed home afterward.

This scenario is not too common nowadays. Many families have spread out across the country, or even the world, making travel a significant component of modern weddings. As a result, couples must take accommodations into consideration when planning their nuptials.

Couples cannot expect relatives to travel to their wedding, party into the wee hours of the morning and then be responsible for finding a place to stay.

It is common courtesy for hotel rooms to be made available to out-of-town guests. Although most couples reserve a block of rooms for guests, a bride and groom really looking to go above and beyond will choose to cover the cost of these rooms as a gift.

To ensure there will be available rooms for guests, it is important to contact an area hotel (or hotels) well in advance of your wedding. To start, find out if the reception site you will be using has an agreement or relationship with an area hotel. In some cases, nearby businesses will offer a courtesy discount to facilitate foot traffic. A wedding consultant should know about packages that may include discounts on lodging.

If there is no package deal, start cold-calling hotels.

If you have a discount program or frequency rewards card with a particular hotel chain, start with them first. Most hotels require a minium of 10 rooms be reserved to secure a “block.” There’s a good chance the greater the number of rooms reserved, the more competitive the nightly rate will be.

Find out about cancellation policies or when guests need to make a reservation in order to secure the discounted rate.

You can include information about hotel reservations right in your wedding invitation, including a code or number to mention to get the wedding discount. If you’re tech-savvy, you may have a link to the hotel’s booking Web site or information on your wedding Web page. Either way, be sure there is ample time for guests to make a decision concerning their hotel reservations.

As an added courtesy to guests, you can arrange shuttle bus service between the reception site and the hotel. This way guests who may have imbibed too much during the party do not need to worry about transportation to the hotel. However, they will have to make arrangements to retrieve their cars the following day.

It may pay to have your wedding on a Sunday so guests are entitled to the free breakfast many hotels offer to business customers during the week. Otherwise, find out if there will be a meal available to guests the following day and offer to pay for it. The more pleasantries you can provide to your guests, the more they will feel pampered and believe the decision to travel for your wedding was the right one.

• Special seating: Guests who may have mobility issues or difficulty hearing may appreciate being seated in certain spots for convenience. Seat the elderly or handicapped close to the exits and the restrooms if possible. When choosing a reception room, confirm the distance to the restrooms to make it convenient for those who may not be able to walk far.

Those who may be sensitive to the music can be seated away from the speakers.

And of course, every attempt should be made to seat individuals who may have conflicts with others away from one another.

• Birthday and anniversary mentions: You can notify the band or deejay of any guests in attendance who may be celebrating their own special events on your wedding day or in close proximity.

There are many extra touches you can take as a couple to make guests feel welcomed and important at your wedding.

34 | Exquisite Bridal Guide, 2014

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Warren’s Inn (518) 532-9118 Schroon Lake, NY

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Is a

E

wedding loan right for you?

ngaged couples about to take a trip down the aisle are increasingly choosing to pay for the wedding themselves. Where it used to be tradition for the bride’s parents to handle the bill for the occasion, today the responsibility for funding has largely fallen into the hands of the prospective bride and groom. To meet the financial demands of the modern wedding, some individuals turn to loans for financing a portion or all of the wedding. You may question whether this is a good idea.

As with any situation, there are pros and cons. The same can be said about a wedding loan. The following are some factors you will need to consider before taking out a loan.

One of the most important things to realize is that a wedding loan, like any loan, will need to be paid back and interest fees will be included.

What that means is that, by the end of the payback period, you will have spent several thousand dollars more on the loans than the original principal amount when interest is added in. If you’re taking out a loan because you’ve already gone above budget on wedding expenses, a loan may push that budget even further into the red.

That being said, there are some instances where a loan may be an option that works for a couple. For example, couples who anticipate considerable monetary gifts from guests attending the wedding can offset the cost of the loan with those gifts. Some couples might begin their professional careers

after their wedding, which will increase their salary enough to repay the loan quickly. Others may actually have the money for the wedding, but want to use a loan as a way to establish strong joint credit as a new couple.

However, many couples take out loans because they simply cannot afford their dream wedding. In a world where many people already live beyond their means -financing cars, homes, retail purchases -- a wedding loan may just be another shovelful of soil on a financial grave.

The consensus among financial experts is that it is better to scale back the wedding or postpone it until you can save money the old-fashioned way instead of taking out a loan.

Although a wedding loan may enable you to have the wedding of your dreams, it comes with a steep cost -- starting out your new life together with a considerable amount of debt.

Savv thv Datee!

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Sweet Basil RESTAURANT

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W

eddings can be expensive, and the reception can account for a substantial percentage of a couple’s expenses. Unlike the days of yesteryear when the bride’s parents were responsible for financing the wedding, nowadays many couples pay for their own weddings, and some find themselves cash-strapped and looking for ways to save.

Trimming reception costs is one of the best ways couples can save money, and there are many ways to do just that and still ensure guests have a great time into the night.

• Limit the guest list. Receptions are more expensive the more guests a couple invites, so limiting the guest list is perhaps the best way to avoid breaking the bank to pay for the reception. Caterers and banquet halls typically charge per-person, so trimming the guest list by as few as 20 people can lead to substantial savings.

Before sending out your save-the-date cards, peruse the guest list to determine

if any guests can be removed. It might be nice to invite professional acquaintances, but if they aren’t people you know socially then they aren’t likely to be offended if they’re not invited to the wedding.

• Choose a buffet instead of a sit-down meal. Choosing a buffet-style reception is another way to save money on the reception. Sit-down meals in which guests are brought their own plates can be significantly more expensive than buffet style. In addition, a buffet might have more options for guests, which benefits larger receptions with guests of various palates.

• Consider a package deal. Couples open to all-inclusive package deals, which typically include the cost of the wedding, reception and possibly even the honeymoon, can save money that way as well. These are most common for destination weddings, but couples might be able to find a package deal in their hometowns as well.

• Host the reception at a private residence.

Another way to reduce reception costs is to avoid banquet halls entirely and host the reception at a private residence, whether it’s your own home or that of a parent or other relative. This option will save you the cost of renting the banquet hall, but it might only be doable for couples having a smaller, more intimate wedding with relatively few guests.

• Hire a DJ instead of a band. Music presents another opportunity for costconscious couples to trim some of their reception costs. Some couples insist on live music, while others are fine hiring a DJ. If you’re among the latter, go with the DJ, as disc jockeys tends to be far less expensive than live bands. If you simply must go with a live band, look for a local band who might be more willing to give a hometown discount.

Cost-conscious couples about to tie the knot can save substantial amounts of money by making a few adjustments with regard to their wedding reception.

Easy Ways to

Trim Costs On Your Wedding Reception

43 | Exquisite Bridal Guide, 2014

Photo by Semeraro Photography

Photo by Semeraro Photography

A buffet might have more options for guests, which benefits larger receptions with guests of various palates.

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Plattsburgh Housing Outlet

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•

How to calm those

last-minute jitters

Brides- and grooms-to-be are often nervous when the day they will tie the knot finally arrives.

The realization that months and months of planning and anticipation are finally about to come to a head often inspires some jitters in the days leading up to the wedding. But the following are a few ways couples can calm those nerves in the hours leading up to the moment they have devoted so much time and effort to planning since becoming engaged.

• Get a good night’s rest. Couples should prioritize a good night’s sleep the night before they are set to walk down the aisle. Make your last night as an unmarried couple an early night so you will look your best and have plenty of energy on your big day, which will no doubt start early and end late. A good night’s sleep can go a long way toward ensuring you’re in a good mood as you handle a full slate of responsibilities on your wedding day.

• Spend time with family and friends. Chances are your closest friends and family members are playing significant roles in your wedding, and spending time with them is a great way to keep your nerves in check while having a fun time before, during and after the ceremony.

• Don’t be afraid to delegate responsibilities. In spite of months of planning, couples will still have a to-do list come their wedding days. If such a list is overwhelming, brides- and grooms-to-be should not be afraid to delegate some of the tasks on their lists. Bridesmaids and groomsmen can no doubt handle any outstanding tasks that don’t require any input from the bride or groom.

• Relax as the ceremony draws nearer. As the start time for the ceremony approaches, couples about to tie the knot should take time to sit down and relax. Once their hair and makeup is finished, brides-to-be should sit down and exhale or arrange for the photographer to snap some fun pre-wedding photos with their bridesmaids. Grooms-to-be can do the same with their groomsmen, sharing a few last-minute jokes to ensure everyone is relaxed and ready to go before taking their places.

46 | Exquisite Bridal Guide, 2014

Acknowledge the guests. Families are more geographically diverse than ever before, so more and more weddings host guests who come from far and wide to celebrate with happy couples on their wedding days. It’s customary for men and women making wedding toasts to acknowledge the guests, thanking them for being there. This is often a great way for best men and maids of honor to break the ice and calm their nerves, especially at larger weddings where they may only know a small percentage of the guests. When thanking the guests, be sure to thank the parents of the bride and groom as well.

•

Explain your relationship to the bride and/or groom. Best men and maids of honor should devote a portion of their toasts to explaining their personal relationships with the bride and/or groom. Introduce yourself and explain how you met the bride or groom. Oftentimes, such stories have a comical twist that can further calm your nerves.

•

Aim for a jovial toast. Wedding toasts are typically given at the wedding reception, when guests and the bridal party are ready to celebrate. Such an atmosphere lends itself to a jovial toast wherein best men and maids of honor focus on happy times with the bride and groom. Tell a funny anecdote that illustrates the special bond you have with the bride or groom.

When choosing a story to tell, remember to keep things appropriate for guests of all ages, including young children.

•

Steer clear of alcohol before giving your toast.

Many people overindulge in alcohol at wedding receptions, but best men and maids of honor should avoid consuming alcohol until after they have toasted the bride and groom. Horror stories about drunken, inappropriate wedding toasts may seem more like an urban legend than a legitimate possibility, but the tendency for alcohol to lower people’s inhibitions makes it dangerous for men and women to consume it before giving their toasts.

•

Give your best wishes to the bride and groom before raising your glass. Raising your glass to toast the bride and groom is often the last step before your toasting duties officially end. But before you raise your glass, remember to offer your best wishes to both the bride and groom.

Once those sentiments have been expressed, ask the guests to raise their glasses and toast the newlyweds.

Tips when

toasting the

bride and groom Toasting happy couples at their wedding receptions can be stressful for best men and maids of honor who are unaccustomed to speaking in front of large groups of people. But following a certain formula and speaking from the heart will ensure such toasts go off without a hitch. feedback@denpubs.com

Tips for trying on wedding

gowns

Many brides-to-be look forward to the day when they visit a bridal salon and are able to try on gowns for the first time.

There are certain tips that can make the day go much more smoothly and potentially reduce the amount of time it may take to find the perfect gown.

47www.denpubs.com | Exquisite Bridal Guide, 2014

•

Wear a supportive, well constructed strapless bra or corset in your correct size. If you will be wearing a petticoat, also have the right size available.

•

Go without face makeup when trying on gowns so they remain clean.

•

Try to wear your hair similar to the style you have in mind for your wedding.

•

Note that the size of the wedding gown you will wear is typically one to two sizes larger than your dayto-day clothes. Proper measurements can be matched to designers’ size charts.

•

It’s best to limit the number of people with whom you shop to 1 or 2 trusted friends or family members.

An entourage can be confusing.

•

It’s always better to order a slightly larger gown and leave room for alterations if you are between sizes.

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TUXEDO STUDIO

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48 | Exquisite Bridal Guide, 2014

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Call to book your event at Geoffrey’s Pub! • Indoor Seating Up to 60 people • Outside areas available in-season for larger groups • Buffet-style or Sitdown Menus for all Special Events

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at the corner of Route 9 & Broad Street • Plattsburgh, NY 2014, Exquisite Bridal Guide | 49

A

tiered wedding cake is often a fitting conclusion to a wedding reception. Today’s brides and grooms are experimenting with cake flavors and designs so their cake is a unique representation of their persona as a couple.

It’s no longer necessary to stick with a white cake with buttercream frosting for your wedding day. Think about exploring other flavor and filling combinations that will tempt the guests’ taste buds. For those who can’t settle on just one flavor, how about having a different flavor for each layer?

Couples getting married in the fall may want to think about a spice cake that evokes the feelings of sipping a mug of spiced cider.

Cream cheese frosting is often a pairing with spice cake, or think about a layer of caramel that will make it taste like you’re enjoying a candied Halloween apple.

A hummingbird cake may fit the bill for a spring wedding. This is made with mashed bananas, pineapples and chopped pecans.

This cake is perfect when paired with cream cheese frosting.

Yellow or white cake are universal favorites for weddings. Some pizzazz can be added through the use of creative fillings. Consider something citrusy and summery for a summer wedding. Raspberry preserves

50 | Exquisite Bridal Guide, 2014

Photo by Greer Cicarelli Photography

Flavorful wedding cakes or lemon curd are tart and sweet. For a tropical flair, mangoes or passion fruit can be mixed with touches of coconut.

A winter wedding can be accented with rich flavors, like a decadent chocolate cake filled with chocolate ganache and black cherries -- in a black forest style.

Those toasting to the good life may want an almond cake enhanced with some fine liqueur and simple chocolate buttercream.

Couples should sit down with their baker and sample a number of flavor combinations to determine a recipe that works for them.

Pastry companies also may be able to develop a cake that encompasses a couple’s favorite flavors or symbolizes a special moment in their lives. A Boston Cream Pie-inspired cake may liven up the wedding of a couple who became engaged in Boston. Maybe a cannoli cream filled cake will usher in memories of a trip to Italy.

Kids at heart can enjoy candy confection cakes filled with gooey chocolate, nuts and marshmallows.

Whatever the case, couples can use their cake as a centerpiece that wows the senses of taste as well as vision. Consider displaying this culinary masterpiece on a table with the seating cards placed around it so that it can be enjoyed the entire night.

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Tips

for newlyweds about to...

merge

finances

Newlyweds often have a lot on their plates upon returning from their honeymoons. One of the more critical issues newly married couples must address is their finances and how those finances will be

C

combined going forward.

ombining finances can be a touchy subject for many couples, especially those who had not given much thought to their finances prior to tying the knot. But there are steps couples can take to make the process of merging finances go more smoothly.

•

•

Discuss finances early and often. Allowing finances to be the elephant in the room is a mistake, as couples do not want to begin their lives together treading lightly around an issue as significant as finances. Couples should discuss their expenditures and spending habits as early as possible, as one of the biggest hurdles newly married couples must clear is coming to grips with one another’s financial habits.

If such habits have already been discussed, then developing a financial plan will be much easier once that time comes. When discussing finances, define both short-term and long-term goals and how each of you can adjust your spending habits to make those goals come true.

Pay off any debts. The cost of weddings has skyrocketed over the last several decades, and many newlyweds find themselves in a consider-

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able amount of debt upon returning from their honeymoons. When merging finances, couples should prioritize paying down such debt, as debt is a significant source of stress for newlyweds and long-married couples alike.

Newly married couples with little or no debt should avoid spending above their means in the months after they get married. Such spending is commonplace, as newly married couples often want to fully furnish their new homes or reward themselves for pulling off their weddings. But new debt can be just as stressful on a marriage as debt from the wedding, so avoid this potentially problematic pitfall by paying down existing debts with your newly merged finances.

•

Make note of mutual expenses and open a joint account to pay for those expenses. Mutual expenses like mortgage payments, food and utilities should be the responsibility of each partner, and a joint account should be established to handle such expenses.

When opening a joint account, discuss how much and how often each partner will contribute money. One partner might earn considerably more money

than another, so work out a reasonable agreement that details how much each partner will contribute each month, and whether such contributions will be made on a weekly, bi-weekly or monthly basis.

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Make concessions for one another.

When merging finances, couples often discover that they don’t see eyeto-eye on how each person spends money. Couples who successfully merge their finances often note the importance of making concessions with regard to their partners’ spending on certain hobbies or luxuries. As long as those hobbies are not putting couples in debt or jeopardizing their financial goals, couples can make concessions so their partners continue to be happy and enjoy their favorite activities.

Merging finances is an issue that looms for many newlyweds or couples about to tie the knot. Though it’s not always easy, merging finances early and discussing goals can ensure newlyweds get off on the right financial foot.

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‘Say what!?!’:

Origins of the term “honeymoon” It has become tradition for married couples to jet off on a post-wedding vacation.

This honeymoon is a way for the bride and groom to enjoy quiet time together and start off their married life together on an intimate level. Although the word “honeymoon” has happy connotations today, the original meanings of the word may not be so blissful. There are varying accounts of the evolution of the word “honeymoon,” but many believe it to be a Norse tradition deriving from the word “hjunottsmanathr.” Northern European history describes women being abducted from their families and forced into marriage with a man from a neighboring village. This husband would take his new bride into hiding and stay there for a while until it was certain the bride’s family had given up the hunt and retreated. It was also tradition for Scandinavian couples to drink a sweet, honey-infused wine known as mead for a month after getting married.

This may be where the “honey,” for the sweet drink, and the”moon,” for the onemonth period of time, originated. Others say “honeymoon” refers to a sarcastic quip that a marriage starts out sweet as honey, but then wanes much as the moon will each cycle.

Honeymoon how-to

After the thrill of wedding festivities dies down, couples often jet off to a honeymoon retreat and begin an entirely different adventure. The honeymoon may create mixed feelings, some concerning the chance to spend time alone after months of planning and a few feelings of anxiety over spending the first night together as a married couple.

For many couples, the honeymoon wedding night is the first time they are intimate together or it holds a special meaning of being intimate for the first time after being married. Such significance can put pressure on a happy and natural experience.

Wedding jitters are normal, as are honeymoon and wedding night jitters.

But just as wedding trends have changed through the years, so, too, have beliefs about the wedding night.

Knowing about shifting trends can alleviate some of the nervousness.

According to a recent survey from Brides magazine, one in three brides plan to get into bed on the wedding night and ... sleep. After all of the hoopla of planning and enjoying the wedding, most people are exhausted. Others say they plan to stay up and relive moments of the day. Only about half of all couples think they will consummate the marriage on their wedding night.

52 | Exquisite Bridal Guide, 2014

Taking the pressure off of the wedding night means that the rest of the honeymoon may be filled with opportunities to be amorous.

But couples may still be filled with expectations for the perfect romantic retreat. Here are some things to think about.

• Accept the fact that some wedding nights and honeymoons aren’t exactly what’s pictured in the movies. Don’t try to live up to a Hollywood-inspired ideal or you may be let down when things don’t go your way. In other words, it may rain on your beachside liaison.

• A wedding requires a lot of work.

Many people find themselves to be physically exhausted afterward. Others find they are so wound up that they cannot relax. When the mind or body is on adrenaline overload or completely wiped out, it’s not the ideal situation for romantic endeavors.

• Try to make the honeymoon stand apart from other nights by packing nice lingerie or nighttime attire so that the memories will be special. There will be plenty of other times down the road when you’re an old, married couple to hop between the sheets in a ratty college T-shirt.

• Pack some candles and mood music, or ask the resort to handle these details for you. These items can help set the scene.

• Make sure your packing list includes special toiletries and birth control methods if you’re not ready to start a family so soon after being married.

The brands you prefer may be hard to acquire while at some honeymoon locations.

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Secrets to a long and happy marriage

Some might say a long celebrity marriage is one that endures the duration of the newly betrothed’s trip down the aisle. We’ve seen Britney Spears dissolve a marriage after 55 hours and Kim Kardashian call it quits after 72 days. It seems even money can’t buy matrimonial happiness.

But some couples have been together for 50, 60 years and say they’re still as much in love as they were the day they spoke their “I dos.”

What do they know that others do not?

According to clinical psychologist and relationship guru Dr. Phil McGraw, “We all need to be flexible and to compromise in marriage, but you’ve got to be true to your core traits and characteristics, what I call your authentic self.” Some couples enter a relationship projecting a persona they believe the other person wants -- one that really isn’t what they’re all about. This could be a woman trying to fill the role of her husband’s nurturing mom or a guy playing the protector to his wife.

In reality, marriage is more of a partnership, and truth and trust are often at the basis of good marriages.

There are many other “secrets” that marriage experts will offer to couples seeking the magic formula. Whether you’re pondering marriage

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or have already tied the knot, consider the following advice to make a marriage endure for the long haul. * There’s no such thing as the perfect marriage.

Some couples create an image of what they think marriage is supposed to be, and that image that often goes “poof” once reality sets in. Even soulmates are bound to frustrate or irritate one another from time to time.

• Couples should express their frustrations.

Bottling up frustrations can eat at a person and eventually destroy a marriage. Talking about the things that are bothering you with your partner opens up a discussion and can help you work through things.

• Divorce should not be seen as a viable option. Couples who want to bail on the marriage at every turn could be directing their energy toward divorce as the only solution instead of discovering ways to remove the cause of strife. Divorce can sometimes be the easy way out when you think about the work that goes into keeping a marriage working. Experts say that there are a few issues, like adultery, abuse and drug/alcohol addiction, that may be reasonable catalysts for divorce if personal safety and sanity is being compromised.

Couples can realize that there are some thorns that come with the roses of marriage, and staying happy together does take work for it to all be worth it.

• Make time for romance. It’s easily said but not so easily done. Too often married couples forget what it was like to date when all of their attention was spent on each other instead of the house, kids, work, etc. Today there seems to be even more distractions, from e-mails to texts to pressure and obligations at the office.

Happy couples find the time to spend quality time with their spouses -- even if that’s only 10 minutes of alone time a day.

• Put “we” first. Many people operate on a “me” mentality. When you’re part of a couple, give more to your spouse than you take. If he or she is doing the same, you’re working collectively for the benefit of the marriage instead of yourselves.

• Respect each other. Often couples having troubles realize they treat strangers better than they treat each other. Would use the insults or unflattering terms that you sometimes throw at your spouse with a complete stranger?

Probably not. Good marriages are based on a foundation of respect and love. It’s easy to lose feelings of love if the respect is gone.

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Index of Advertisers AccommodAtions:

Adirondack Pines B&B and Vacations Rentals ............................ 35 Batcheller Mansion Inn ................................................................. 35 Best Western .................................................................................. 5 Blackstone Lodge ........................................................................ 35 Days Inn........................................................................................ 45 Dolly Family Lodge ....................................................................... 35 Geyser Lodge B&B ....................................................................... 35 Rocky Acres Inn Bed & Breakfast ................................................ 35 Rooster Comb Inn ........................................................................ 35 Sleep Inn ...................................................................................... 48 Station House B&B....................................................................... 35 Super 8 ......................................................................................... 12 The Copperfield Inn ...................................................................... 35 The Historic Inn of Fort Edward ................................................... 35 Union Gables Inn Bed and Breakfast Mansion ............................ 35 Warren’s Inn .................................................................................. 35 Westport Hotel & Tavern............................................................... 35 Yellow Coach Motel ...................................................................... 35

BAnking:

Dannemora Federal Credit Union ................................................. 16 Ticonderoga Federal Credit Union ............................................... 40 Ufirst Credit Union ........................................................................ 36

ceremony locAtion:

Plattsburgh Memorial Chapel ....................................................... 31

entertAinment:

Absolute Sound ............................................................................ 17 Top Hat Entertainment.................................................................. 33

Florists:

Adirondack Flower ....................................................................... 48 Country Expressions .................................................................... 33 Flower Designs by Tracey ............................................................ 12 Rebecca’s Florist & Country Store ............................................... 41 The Country Florist & Gifts ........................................................... 45 Touch of an Angel Florist .............................................................. 31

Furniture/homes:

Ashley’s Furniture HomeStore ........................................................ 5 Livingston’s................................................................................... 55 Plattsburgh Housing Outlet .......................................................... 45 Wendell’s Furniture ....................................................................... 41

heAlth And Fitness:

Affiliates in OBGYN ...................................................................... 37 Ganienkeh Wholisitic Health Center ............................................. 32

historic locAtions:

Skene Manor ................................................................................ 25

Jewelers:

PArty/rentAl suPPlies:

Chair Affair .................................................................................... 40 Foster’s Tent Rental ...................................................................... 21 Taylor Rental ................................................................................. 37 The Party Factory ......................................................................... 16

sAlon services:

CharmsHands Salon & Spa .......................................................... 49 The Retreat Salon & Spa .............................................................. 41 Ultimate Skin Solutions ................................................................ 20

PhotogrAPhy/videogrAPhy:

Adirondack Photobooth ............................................................... 44 Overtime Photography ................................................................. 25

restAurAnts/ venues:

An Affair by the Lake .................................................................... 36 Deer’s Head Inn ............................................................................ 49 Dunham’s Bay Resort ................................................................... 33 Geoffrey’s Pub & Restaurant ........................................................ 49 Halfway House ............................................................................. 44 Inn on Gore ................................................................................... 49 Lake George Steamboat Co. ........................................................ 21 Rainbow Wedding and Banquet Hall ........................................... 14 Sweet Basil ................................................................................... 40 The Georgian ................................................................................ 27 The Lodge on Echo Lake ............................................................... 3 Valcour Conference Center .......................................................... 38 Westside Ballroom........................................................................ 13 Whitehall Armory .......................................................................... 14

trAvel Agency:

Cruiseone ..................................................................................... 31

wedding cAkes:

Café Sarah.................................................................................... 25 Lake George Baking Company .................................................... 27 Rambach’s Bakery and Fudge ..................................................... 40

wedding/event PlAnner:

Adirondack Wedding Association ................................................ 24 New York Wedding Assocaition ................................................... 39 Vermont Wedding Associations.................................................... 39

wedding FAshions:

Danielle’s Bridal Boutique ............................................................ 12 Fashion Corner ............................................................................... 2 Fashion Exchange ........................................................................ 20 Fiori Bridal .................................................................................... 14 Jonathan Reid .............................................................................. 16 Laura’s Bridal & College Formals ................................................. 56 Something Old, Something New .................................................. 25 Tuxedo Studio .............................................................................. 48

Beglin’s Jeweler’s ......................................................................... 12 Darrah Cooper .............................................................................. 36 Hannoush Jeweler’s ....................................................................... 6

limousine services:

Ground Force 1 .............................................................................. 7

54 | Exquisite Bridal Guide, 2014

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55 | Exquisite Bridal Guide, 2014

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