Dental Entrepreneur Woman - Summer 2019 by Dental Entrepreneur Media

Summer 2019

The Transformation of a Lifetime Shelly Otte

Are You a Dental Mental Health Advocate? Amy L’Ecuyer

Never Underestimate the Power of a Grieving Mother Dr. Sharon Parsons

PLUS The Gift of Vulnerability Transitioning Through Life With Passion

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Summer 2019 Editor and Publisher Anne M. Duffy, RDH Associate Publisher

Advisors to the Board Katherine Eitel-Belt Linda Miles Vicki McManus Peterson

Rebecca Paciorek Assistant Editor Michael Duffy JoAnn Schutte Creative Consultant Beth Linesch Design and Layout Brian Rummel Production [CURAtive] James B. Kennedy Reilly Williams Summer Contributors Eleni Kelakos Amy L'Ecuyer Shellie Otte Sharon Parsons Tammara Plankers Kriston Reisnour Tiffany Tripke Cover Photography Cassidy Drury Photography Web Management My Dental Agency Charter Sponsors A-dec Crest Mary Fisher-Day Inspired Hygiene Patterson D5 Patterson Fuse Shofu

Board Kristine A Berry Dr. Tanya Brown Jasmin Haley Bonnie Hixson Janice Hurley Suzanne Kump Tonya Lanthier Rachel Mele Anastasia Turchetta Rice Lori Streeter Rachel Wall Rita Zamora Junior Board Dr. Shakila Angadi Jennifer Chevalier Dr. Erinne Kennedy Minal Sampat Dr. Amisha Singh

Editorial Office 12233 Pine Valley Club Dr Charlotte, NC 28277 704-953-0261 Fax 704-847-3315 anneduffy@dew.life Send materials to: DeW Life Magazine 8334 Pineville Matthews Rd Ste. 103-201 Charlotte, NC 28226 Guidelines go to dew.life

One of my mother-in-law’s favorite sayings was, “Man plans, and God laughs.” Thank you for reminding me of this saying in your article, Tiffany Tripke. It made me smile as I read this issue cover to cover to proof it today. I realized while proofing that I miss my motherin-law, and there are a lot of mentions of mothers in between the covers of DeW Life. I must say: moms are pretty important! We mother each other, don’t we? I have a few dental moms. I know I have adopted a few of you, and it felt like you turned the tables last spring and you adopted me when I suddenly realized I couldn’t make it to the Hinman Dental Meeting. I had a booth reserved, our spring issues of both DeW Life and Dental Entrepreneur printed and lots of meetings set for the conference. And, as they say, “Man Plans and God Laughs.” It wasn’t all that funny, because my sweet husband landed in the hospital for surgery, but the beauty of it was affirming that people are good. DeWs from around the country pulled together to help me when I truly needed it. I want to personally thank these special DeWs. They took my place and literally took care of everything for me. Thank you, Minal Sampat, JoAn Majors, Mary Day, Lynne Leggett, Trish Lewis-Clark, Janet Haggerson and Becky Moser for taking this on and spreading your DeW with such generosity and exuberance. I love you all! Special thanks also to Emme and Steve Sanders for taking all my stuff down to Atlanta as well as Rachel and Matt Wall, Bill Berry and Kyle Zak for making it all come together. That’s what DeWs and DeWds DeW. Right? I was very honored and so grateful. Yes, I have adopted you and am thrilled to promote you on page 37. You are going to fall in love with our cover DeW, Shelly Otte. I know I did. She is amazing, and she so inspires me. Every time I would tell someone who was on our Summer cover they would say, “Oh, she is wonderful!” I can’t wait for you to meet her in our cover story, and I can’t wait to meet her in person at the AADOM conference July 18 in Orlando. Good DeWs find good DeWs, and I am thankful to Sue Kump, from Patterson, for introducing us. This edition is about our perspective of believing “life is long,” not short, and how we get through the tough times with the help of good people, those we know very well and those whom we may have just met. With help, a little time and some freaking stamina, we can move forward, one day at a time and if need be, one minute at a time. Whatever it takes. Let’s turn the tables this summer. Find a DeW to adopt because together we succeed.

SUMMER 2019

contents 6 12

The Transformation of a Lifetime Shelly Otte, AADOM

Are you a Dental Mental Health Advocate? Amy L’Ecuyer, RDH

Never Underestimate the Power of a Grieving Mother Dr. sharon parsons, DDS

Dental Office Design Competition: A conversation with Dr. Sarah Brent at KC Family Dental in Fairway, Kansas

The Gift of Vulnerability

Obstacles or Opportunities: Your choice!

Eleni Kelakos

Kriston Reisnour, RDH

TRANSITIONING THROUGH LIFE WITH PASSION tiffany tripke, RDH

DeW-ers

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Who, Wear, When

DeW Dish

Success 26 Living Your Strengths

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THE TRANSFORMATION OF A LIFETIME By Shelly Otte, AADOM

:00 a.m., the alarm rang. Yet again, this middle-aged dental office manager struggled out of bed to make her way to the bathroom to start her morning. She was suffering. Looking in the mirror at a reflection that was less than appealing, she looked down at the counter at all the pain medication and anti-inflammatories and all of the little brown pharmacy bottles. There were the little white pills for her blood pressure and the big oval ones for her blood sugars and the mighty injection pen for her frequent migraines. There it was, right in front of her... her daily reminder and reality check that she was sick and suffering. Most days she suffered in silence, with a smile on her face because that is who she was: a smiler, a people-pleaser and a helper. Well, to everyone but herself. She had put her needs and aspirations on the back burner. WHY? Because she felt helpless and hopeless and less than deserving. Others needed her more than she needed herself, so she thought. But as she looked at the reflection in the mirror this particular morning, she realized that something needed to change. She realized that she did deserve more than this uncomfortable prison that she had trapped herself in. She realized that this reality didn’t need to be a life sentence. Instead, life needed to happen with her in the driver’s seat! She deserved to be happy and healthy. She realized that if she was the very best version of herself, just IMAGINE what she could give to others!!! Being healthy and happy was a gift she needed to give herself and to the others around her. She knew right then and there…THIS WAS IT. This was that pivotal moment that was going to change her life forever. Who was that dental office manager? That was ME. And that was almost two years ago. September 18, 2017...it was my 45th birthday. Isn’t it crazy how birthdays remind

us of our mortality and life? Well, this one was a real kickin-the-pants for me! I was tired of struggling and feeling uncomfortable every single day of my life. I was tired of pushing through the constant pain and struggling with the 235lb physical straight jacket that I wore, all with a smile on my face. I met everyone else’s needs but my own. People around me couldn’t imagine the internal war that I was fighting every single day. My self-talk was a dialogue that would bring even the happiest person down. I knew that if I didn’t make a change right then, I may never make one, and that would be detrimental to my health and to those who love me. No more excuses. It was time to show up for myself. Enough was enough. Time to take control! Time for the TRANSFORMATION OF A LIFETIME!! How many of you struggle with that same self-deprecating internal dialogue? Many of us do. And it’s what holds us back from being the very best version of ourselves. It’s what holds us back from true change. It’s what holds us back from reaching our goals and being successful. But how do you transform this thinking and transform yourself or your dental practice or your team? Let me tell you…it’s actually quite simple. But it does take determination, a willingness and acceptance: the right attitude essentially. The ultimate secret to transformation is knowing your WHY. Your Why is the leverage to make it happen. We can create leverage to affect the transformation by asking ourselves some important questions. What will life be like if I don’t achieve this transformation or reach my goals? How rewarding will it be when I do transform myself or my dental team?

Who in my life will I affect profoundly by transforming or how will my patients be affected if my team is transformed? These are just a few examples of the questions you can ask yourself or your team to become clearer on what your INSPIRATION is and help you get started to go after what it is you want! For me, my WHY and INSPIRATION were: I deserved a better life and to feel healthier and happier, so that I could truly be authentic in my smile and so that I could give the very best version of myself to me and to others. I knew that if that smile came from within, from an authentic place, that I could move mountains with it. I was confident that my WHY was that I needed to love myself enough to allow myself to live the best life possible and to teach others how to do the same - physically, personally and professionally. The inspiration for some may be easy. The next step in the process is to gather the INFORMATION needed to back up your inspiration. One of the reasons we haven’t achieved transformation or change in the past may simply be because we don’t know how. We don’t have the data to do so. We must acquire the information that lends itself to our getting it done. Have you heard, "Within each acorn lies the blueprint for the mighty oak tree"? That is what is inside each and every one of us as well. Isn’t that beautiful? We are just like that tiny acorn if we just learn how to tap into our inner core and the heart of our teams. We, too, can blossom ourselves and our teams into mighty oak trees. How do you find the information and blueprint? We can acquire the wisdom through books, programs, workshops

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and experts. We can learn from our own experience of what works and what doesn’t work as well. We can access our own wisdom and impulses by taking time to be silent, go within, and listen…..the information is there if we seek it. That is exactly what I did for my personal transformation. I sought out consultations with surgeons, nutritionists, therapists and others who had made this physical change and had taken control of their health. I researched and turned over every stone I could, to gain the information I needed to make the right choice for myself. I knew that I needed a tool or program to help me achieve my optimal health. But I also knew that I was the true holder of the keys to my prison and that it was me who needed to turn that key to set myself free! So you have the inspiration and the information to start the process of change...next you need a little IMAGINATION! You need direction that comes in the form of imagination. We must actually imagine experiencing in a way that we have already achieved it. You’ve heard the old saying, “Fake it until you make it,” right? This is known as “acting as if.” The reason this is important is because it will cause us to feel inspired and purposeful. It is often said that transformation is that point where the outside reality catches up to our internal reality, or some call it imagination! For me, I turned my negative self-talk into a positive imagination dialogue about all the things that I would be able to do if I was healthy. If it’s a positive team culture that you want to implement in your dental office, then start imagining what that would look like, not only for your team

dew-ers but for your patients, too. Imagine seeing those Google reviews climb higher and higher. Imagine getting more and more new-patient calls. Imagine patients saying YES to the treatment you prescribe. Imagine a team working together more efficiently. Feel the purpose? Our mind is powerful!! That’s great...now you’re inspired, armed with the information needed, and you’ve imagined what it would be like to have real transformation and change happen. But now what? Now is the hard part….the PERSPIRATION! Time to get into action. It’s our action, executed with intention, that brings us closer to our goal! Be clear about one thing, though: even though we may be certain about the inspiration, information and imagination, we may not feel like taking the action needed because of fear or uncertainty. This is where it is important to FEEL THE FEAR and DO IT ANYWAY!! I had an enormous amount of fear and anxiety when choosing to move forward with weight loss surgery. I had doubt creep into my self-talk over and over. But I knew if I really wanted to transform myself I had to push forward through that fear. If I was truly going to grow, it would be by pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. This is very much true of any change we encounter. People fear change. They try to sabotage it any way possible. We must get honest with ourselves and our teams about fear and how to overcome it. This will serve two purposes: — You will most likely find that the anticipated fear was not as bad as you thought. — If it doesn’t work out, it will provide you with additional data to help you the next time. Challenges do not equal failure as long as we don’t give up and continue to push forward. Growth happens in every step we take forward. I tell everyone that the weight loss surgery was only 10% of my journey and transformation. Sure, it helped me get started, but the other 90% was pure perspiration and doing whatever it took to be successful. I didn’t go into this willing to fail. That was not an option. Nor should it be an option when we set any goal. We have to truly believe in our success to make it happen. Every day I had to show up for myself and hold myself accountable. I had to have the hard conversation with my inner being to battle years of negative self-talk and change my script for good. This journey isn’t complete, not even close. This is an on-going, everyday thing for me. I can’t let my guard down or get comfortable. That’s how old habits creep in. It’s the same with your office. Every week we need to have accountability check-ins and training to stay on top of whatever change we have implemented. It’s a work in progress, and there is always room for growth. The good news is…you have people that want you to be successful

and the tools to help you get there! Any transformation you seek is now four steps closer: Inspiration, Information, Imagination and Perspiration. As you practice these, remain open to welcoming and experiencing the inspired life that is waiting for you. 95 pounds lighter than where I was less than two years ago has made me walking proof and hopefully inspiration to all of you that the ultimate secret to transformation begins with YOU and YOUR WHY!! Don’t achieve in order to be happy….be happy while on your way to achieving. 6:00 a.m., the alarm rings out on a beautiful summer day 2019, a dental office manager pops out of bed. She walks to the bathroom, half asleep but with a heart full of happiness. She looks in the mirror knowing she will be featured on the cover of DeW Life Magazine. Is she nervous…heck yeah! But is she ready? Heck yeah!! Will every day go great or perfectly for her? NOPE. But this lady is ready to take it on like the transformed DeW that she had always been but hadn’t been able or ready to show the world! I AM TRANSFORMED!!! From the author: Shelly is extremely grateful to Patterson Dental and Sue Kump for showing their support and faith in her transformation journey by recognizing her with the Patterson Diamond Award and Scholarship while attending the 2018 AADOM Conference. Thanks to their belief in her and her story, she has been honored to have the privilege of being part of the amazing DeW experience! Shelly would also like to thank RevenueWell for hosting the “I AM” experience on the opening night of the 2018 AADOM Conference. This was a pivotal moment for Shelly when she was able to really identify her “I AM” and chose “I AM TRANSFORMED” as her new mantra. It has made a remarkable difference in her success. About the author: Shelly Otte, FAADOM has been the Office Manager for Dr. Douglas Schulz (Corporate Lakes Dental) and the Education Center Manager at Corporate Lakes Education Center for the past 5 years. She was also the President of the Kansas City AADOM Chapter, and the chapter was recognized as 3rd Place Chapter of the Year at the 2018 AADOM Conference. Currently, Shelly and her family are moving to Monument, CO for her husband’s work. She is excited to be joining the practice of Dr. Jeffrey Yelle (Distinctive Dental) as his Practice Administrator. Shelly will also get actively involved with the Colorado Springs AADOM Chapter. Shelly’s passion for continuing education, serving her community and being actively involved in AADOM and the dental industry is contagious. She sets out every day to make others smile and give back in a positive way. Her goal in life is to make every day a little easier and happier for others.

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INVISALIGN GO CASE SUMMARY ®

before

Background and Clinical Objective During an oral hygiene appointment, a healthy, 37-year old female presented with minor rotating canines within the “social six” (commonly seen with middle-aged females in my practice) as well as some minor crowding in the lower arch. The patient was generally unhappy with her smile and desired a quick, easy and cost-effective solution without using traditional braces. The clinical objective was to level and align the arches.

After

Why I chose Invisalign Go treatment We were able to provide a quick case assessment during the patient’s hygiene appointment using the Invisalign® Photo Uploader app. The quick turn-around case assessment report revealed Invisalign Go treatment could address the chief concerns we indicated. We shared the results of the case assessment and spoke with the patient about Invisalign Go treatment which matched her desired clinical results, budget and timing.

Results • Patient finished a week early and results were obtained in less than 5 months. • Recommended aligner wear time went from 2-weeks to 1-week after stage 5. • No additional aligners were needed. • Patient was fitted for Vivera® after treatment. • Results achieved with the use of optimized attachments, optimized rotation attachments and interproximal reduction. • Concluded treatment performing cosmetic contouring on teeth 7, 8, 9, and 10 only by rounding the incisal edges to the same height as requested by the patient. • Patient was thrilled to have her new smile! For more information, go to provider.invisalign.com. * Case courtesy of Dr. Justin Leath. For the complete case, please contact Align Technology, Inc.

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Give your patients the smile they want. Introducing the Invisalign® Go system—the treatment designed with dentists like you in mind. Become an Invisalign Go provider at provider.invisalign.com © 2019 Align Technology Inc. All rights reserved. MKT-0003145 Rev A

DEW-ERS

ARE YOU A DENTAL MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE? By Amy L’Ecuyer, RDH

he dental industry is changing. Albeit, some may say very slowly when referencing insurance reimbursements or rapidly when referencing products and technology. I think we would agree that most dental professionals feel comfortable talking about products in which they believe and technology that aides in diagnosing treatment. Even the most introverted dentists eloquently communicate with patients when they feel confident about what they are saying, have evidence to backup their recommendations and a cohesive team who understands their practice philosophy and vision to follow through with the next steps. So what happens when change occurs and we don’t feel confident or prepared? The change I am going to specifically focus on is the increase in mental illness in our society and the impact on patient care. Every day in the news there are headlines talking about the increase in mental illness in the Unites States, a celebrity who has died by suicide, a new drug for depression and the endless stories of suffering, hurt and hopelessness in our communities. These suffering people are our patients. They are moms, dads, school teachers, children, athletes, teenagers, co-workers, colleagues and possibly...you...the person reading this article or someone you love. The working environment of a dental office is unique because we see a variety of people of all ages. The age diversity, in and of itself, requires different communication techniques. When you add on the patients’ cultural, political, gender, socioeconomic and educational differences, we can’t have a “one size fits all” attitude. Simply put, dental offices have a diverse patient population. Developing an awareness to the prevalence of mental illness among your demographic area opens

an opportunity to bridge the gap between dental health and mental health. Learning about practical strategies, available resources and tools to intentionally communicate from a heart of compassion results in a systematic and proactive approach to help patients who suffer in silence. In October 2018, a quick poll was done through the National Dental Practice-Based Research Network, and, of the 465 dental professionals who responded, 93% agreed that mental health and dental health have some degree of correlation. In addition, 66% said they were willing to be trained by a mental health professional to help screen, observe or possibly intervene with potential mental health issues in the dental office. From this sample of responses, I concluded that dental professionals are interested in learning more about mental health in the dental office but not sure how or where to get appropriate training. To read the entire poll, go here. http://bit.ly/mental_healthDEW Before I get into specific statistics on the prevalence of mental illness and sharing strategies I have learned, I want to give you a little bit of background on why I have become a dental/mental health advocate. Imagine this… It’s a Saturday night, and you are watching a Netflix movie, eating some popcorn and relaxing from a long work week when you get a call from your teenage son saying, “Mom, something is wrong with me!” Not understanding the context of the statement you start to ask a barrage of questions without taking a breath. “What happened? Where are you? Who are you with? What’s going on? Do you need me to come get you? What’s going on? Are you ok?” He answers, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” He sounds distressed, confused and panicked. You finally

"Developing an awareness to the prevalence of mental illness among your demographic area opens an opportunity to bridge the gap between dental health and mental health"

learn a few key details and discover he is hanging out with some friends and he decided to try some substance that his friend said was “safe." He took a hit from the JUUL, which typically has a high concentration of nicotine, and his life changed in that moment. Whatever was in the JUUL made him feel completely out of his mind and like he had been drugged. Now what? This is part of our story. (By the way, my son gave me permission to tell part of his story) My son and I have a relationship of honest communication, and he felt safe calling and telling me. For the next 7 months, he would not drive his car, drink out of a water bottle after he took the cover off, eat any food prepared by anyone except him or me; and he went to numerous specialty doctors to find out what was going on, and he became completely consumed by fear. Now you must understand that this is behavior from a teenager who, on occasion, would sneak out in the middle of the night and drive 30 miles with friends to ride their longboards in the parking garage...a teenager who was working and had many friends. When your child changes, literally overnight, it is confusing. How do I protect my son from himself and the negative thoughts? We were aware of the predisposed genetic variables of an alcoholic father with mental health struggles, and me, a mom who struggled with eating disorders in her early years and had led an outward appearance that everything was fantastic! Even though he had been diagnosed with ADHD and had typical childhood stresses over the years, circumstances can, and did, change in an instant. Prior to that Saturday evening out with friends, he had been struggling with depression and grief from the passing of his grandpa and dad in the same year. We were seeking help, getting

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counseling, reading appropriate books, praying and going through the motions of life. He was feeling numb to emotions on that Saturday night. What we discovered in that defining moment, the one choice he made that night, triggered a rollercoaster ride of panic disorder and obsessive compulsive behaviors. As a parent, I felt helpless. We both knew that “logically” his fears didn’t make sense. The "what if’s" took over his thinking, and elaborate scenarios of what could happen went to very dark places in an instant. My son has a loving family who encourages him, listens, spends time with him, loves him and supports him in all of his adventures. My “what if” to you is…what if you have a teenager in your chair tomorrow who doesn’t have the family support and they are struggling with mental illness? What is your role? How can you help? If you are thinking that won’t happen in your office, I am here to tell you that it already is happening and you may not have the awareness yet. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 1 in 5 adults has some sort of mental illness, 1 in 5 youth ages 13-18 have a severe mental illness, and suicide is the 3rd cause of death in ages 10-24 in the United States. How many active patients do you have? Let’s say your patient base is 1,500 patients. If we use the statistic that 1 in 5 people have mental illness, that is 300 patients in your practice right now. Also take into consideration your team. Do you have at least 5 employees? Statistically speaking, one would be struggling with some sort of mental illness, and you may have no idea. Many times the strongest people on the outside are the ones who are hurting the most on the inside.

dew-ers The statistics mentioned are only a few of the societal trends affecting the increase in mental illness in the US. These stats represent people. One goal of a dental mental health advocate is to increase awareness of mental wellness and create a community concern. When a community loses a child to suicide, the teachers, parents, healthcare workers, friends and family members struggle to make sense of it. If we can have a proactive approach and help with prevention tools, we can contribute to the community in a big way. It’s not just about teeth!! What do you want to be known for?

All age Groups are Affected Here's another suicide2-dew.

article

discuss:

http://bit.ly/

This article discusses 31 suicides in a 15-month time frame in children ages 10-18 years. Since this article was written in October 2018, the number has increased. This is where I live. These kids are my son's age and younger. A 10-year-old died by suicide in my community. My heart hurts. The struggle is real and could be your patient. Would you know what to look for or what to say?

So what? HOW DO WE HELP? One reason dental professionals should get involved is: whether we like it or not, we are affected by the increase in mental illness. Here are 3 considerations:

Mental Illness Could Impact Your Patient's Ability to Make & Keep Appointments If your patient or a family member is diagnosed with a mental illness such as depression or anxiety disorder, the next appointment may be on a “bad” day when they are unable to get out of bed. Understand that the person may feel guilt or shame, and they want to keep their appointment and not disappoint you. However, the debilitating nature of depression or anxiety disorder consumes their emotional, physical and cognitive strength.

Case Acceptance A person’s current mental health state can potentially affect our patient's ability to make a decision to accept treatment. Deciding to accept treatment may be more about the “what if’s” your patient is saying inside their head. Possibly, financial concerns with the many doctor appointments and medications they take to get through the day are a higher priority than their mouth. In my situation with my son, we were going to so many appointments that the increase in co-pays and day-to-day unknown stresses affected financial decisions for my own health. Another reason is they may feel worthless and that they don’t deserve to have their teeth fixed. Or they may be contemplating suicide and think, “I won’t be here next time, so there is no point in fixing my teeth.” Some people have a chronic suicidal thought process, and it is always an option. http://bit.ly/suicide-article-dew

1. Review your medical history: What questions are you

asking? When someone states they have or have had a mental illness, what do you do? Look up PHQ-9 for a reference on questions to ask regarding depression.

2. Get training on QPR: This stands for Question,

Persuade and Refer and is 3 simple steps anyone can learn to help with suicide prevention. People who learn CPR save lives each year, and we must have that to renew our license, correct? QPR provides training on signs and symptoms and gives communication techniques and resources to help save lives.

3. Create a network of local resources you can use

as resources for help: For example, a psychologist, guidance counselor at the high school, suicide hotline number, etc. I have created a template for this and call it my “Proactive Crisis Plan." Feel free to reach out to me, and I’ll send it to you.

4. Self-Care: Prioritize your health. Dental

professionals have physical, emotional and financial stress that contribute to the level of their mental health. Examples are: eat healthy, exercise, mediate, get massages, and get an accountability partner, counselor or support group to work through the stresses.

5. Patient Comfort Menu: Even patients who have

high mental health and stability may have anxiety during their dental appointment. To enhance the patient experience, offer items such as a blanket, noise cancelling headphones, warm towels, squeeze ball, soothing music, essential oils, etc.

6. Team: Communicate with your team on a relational level. Create a safe environment where your team feels comfortable talking about difficult topics. Does your office feel like your work family?

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7. Community Involvement: Become an advocate, go to state meetings, learn about your demographic area and what needs you can fill.

8. Listen: Be quick to listen and slow to speak. More studies are coming out to support the idea that technology and social media are contributing to the increase in mental illness. http://bit.ly/ suicide-SM-Dew The human connection has decreased, and it affects how we communicate.

Change is inevitable. Some people may embrace change while others fear the unknown circumstances of change. Regardless of with which category you resonate, change will happen whether we like it or not. What if dental professionals had a community involvement mindset to increase mental wellness and took a proactive approach to develop awareness, confidence and networks of resources? Wouldn’t it be nice to be prepared before something happens? On average, 129 people die every day by suicide in the US. Don’t let fear of not knowing what to say keep you from potentially saving a patient's life. My challenge to you is to take one intentional step to understand the impact of mental illness in your community. Then determine what your purpose will be in the community effort to increase mental wellness and take action. This is an emotional topic, and I am very passionate about helping people build confidence in their skills to communicate with patients who suffer in silence. Please reach out to me if you would like to know more or would like me to speak with your team, study club or dental association. “One person can’t help everybody. But…everybody can help one person.”

About the author: Amy L’Ecuyer, RDH has over 25 years of experience in the dental industry. She understands change is difficult for most people and keeps that in mind when creating training sessions. Amy says, “With a sense of humor, guidance and learning how to implement specific techniques and strategies, you will have a renewed energy for your profession!” She likes to spend time working with her church, enjoying time with family, hiking, listening to music, working out or reading. www.bridgethegapconsultingservices.com amy@bridgethegapcs.com

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Discover your Strengths The 2019 DeW Retreat November 14-16 Providence Country Club Charlotte, NC

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who, wear, when.

Lois Banta, Debra Nash, Linda Miles, Denise Ciardelllo

Drs. Natalie Lesinsky, Erinne Kennedy, Hazel Glasper and Amisha Singh

DeWing Courtesy of Pulpdent Lynne Leggett, Mary Day, Minal Sampat, JoAn Majors, Brittany Bergeron

Claire Jeong, Jasmin Haley, Emily Boge and the RDH superstars OCC Blowing bubbles for a good cause!

Sonya Lauren "The Covered Smile"

Trish Jorgenson, Deana Zost, Laurie Owens, Emme Sanders, Dana Watson

Leslie and Michael Canham

DeWs and DeWds at SCN KC

Boston Harbor Tour

Vicki Peterson and Christine Uhen Of Productive Dentist Academy

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Upcoming Events Melinda Heryford-Nelson, Shelley Renee Dana Moss, Kelly and Anna Schwartz

AADOM Conference July 18-20 Orlando, FL www.eiseverywhere.com

Under One Roof, (RDH) July 31 - August 2 www.rdhunderoneroof.com An Oasis of Collaboration Arizona Grand Resort & Spa September 26-28 Phoenix, AZ www.aawd.org JoAn Majors, Hazel Glasper and Lane Cobb

Lucy Hobbs Project Celebration Oct 3-5 Chicago, IL www.benco.com, thelucyhobbsproject.com DeW Retreat Nov 14-16 Charlotte, NC www.dew.life

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W e D

h s i D

Getting to know more about our DeW-ers, the women that make up the dental world.

Lynne Leggett, BS victorydentalmanagement.com

What is your guilty pleasure? Binge watching seasons of a show with my daughter. We don’t make time to cook so we get at least a couple meals delivered to the house and watch TV while wearing comfy clothes with our favorite blankets.

What is your favorite Indoor/Outdoor Activity? Coaching, playing, watching basketball or having fun at the beach.

What do you do to turn around a bad day? Play music really loud and dance it out.

What does balance look like?

What is the best part of your job?

Balance has looked different to me depending on the age and needs of my children. I purposely did not travel a lot when my children were young. If I needed to, I made sure my husband was not traveling and could take care of our kids. As my kids got older, I traveled more depending on what sports season it was since I was typically coaching during basketball season. I know next school year I will be home a little more since it is my son’s senior year of high school and I do not want to miss out on anything. Before I can blink, he will be gone to college, and I want to enjoy his time at home as much as possible.

Being able to change the quality of life for my clients. There is nothing better than to get a hand-written note or email expressing how much I have change the life of my clients for the positive.

What is your motto?

How do you measure your success?

Never Give Up!

I will answer this from two perspectives – one as a mom and second as a dental coach. My kids and my husband are the most important to me. I measure my success as a mom by how prepared my children are for their next stage in life. My daughter just finished her first year of college, and she is soaring in her academic endeavors as well as other areas of her life. Nursing school is challenging, but she is excelling in all facets. My son is finishing his junior year of high school and is a very well-rounded student and looks forward to studying civil engineering in college. He has now earned the rank of Eagle Scout and can mark that accomplishment off his list.

What obstacles have you overcome in your life?

I measure my business success by the positive impact I have made in the lives of others. I believe in quality over quantity and strive to do this with every client interaction I have.

What is the best gift you ever received?

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The largest obstacle was being a patient of my fertility doctor for 4 years and going through IVF for our first child. That kind of pressure in a marriage will either break you or make your marriage stronger. Thankfully, it has made mine stronger.

What movies always makes you laugh? Sixteen Candles and The Princess Bride.

My daughter, Megan, and my son, Nicholas.

Christie Lincoln, RDH yoursmilinghygienist.com

What “DeW” leaders do? Leaders set the definition of success. They invest time, energy and resources to create the environment for that success and do anything to protect that environment.

What famous person living or dead would you like to have lunch with and what would you ask them? I am fascinated by Katherine Johnson, the mathematician who helped put the first man on the moon. In her interviews she mentions how her father would tell her, "You are not better than anyone, but you are just as good." I want to know how she stayed humble and confident.

What is first on your dental bucket list? To grow my smile-inspired fashion brand to the point that it gives back to help real-life smiles in more ways than one.

What is the best part of your job?

What does balance look like?

OHI - Overall Health Information. Even when there is no sign of oral disease, I reinforce the benefits of maintaining the health of the mouth. My desire is for the patient to walk away knowing they can count on a dental hygienist for real-life prevention recommendations and not just the same ol’ “floss more" speech.

Praying. Sleeping well. Eating to live 80/20. Moving your body everyday.

Who has been the most influential woman in your life?

What is the best gift you ever received?

I was born into a matriarchal culture - all the women in my tribe have had an influence in my life.

How do you measure your success? This phase of life, my success is measured by how my heart feels when I lay my head down at night. As a mother of young children, my success is very much tied up into my family. I'll be better equipped to answer this question in fifteen years.

What do you do to turn around a bad day? Call my grandmother.

What movie always makes you laugh? The Wedding Singer

My good friend lost her only child, a 7-year-old daughter, in a house fire. It was heart wrenching to witness that kind of trauma. I didn't know then how she would heal from that experience. She traveled to Kenya for two months and brought me back a beautiful beaded bracelet and shared her experiences through the most beautiful pictures. I wear that bracelet as a reminder that there is always light after darkness.

How do you take your coffee? A little cream, 1 sugar or no sugar, depending on the kind of coffee.

What is your motto? There is so much more to smiling.

Naomi Cooper doctordistillery.com

What obstacles have you overcome in your life? My parents were under significant financial pressure during my junior and senior years of college, so I decided that I had to graduate as quickly as possible, skip law school (which had been my dream) and get a job to support myself. Having that pressure was the best thing that ever happened to me. It made me incredibly driven and focused on advancing my career right out of the gate; failure was never an option.

What do you do to turn around a bad day? Play with my dog, Asher! He’s eleven pounds of pure joy.

What is your guilty pleasure? Drybar. And shoe shopping.

What is the best part of your job?

What advice do you have for the new person in your office.

Meeting the incredibly bright and energetic people who are creating so many new and exciting products and services for the dental professional.

Keep up!

Who has been the most influential woman in your life?

Set the bar high. Hire the right person for the job, train them, and then trust them enough to get out of the way and give them tons of room to succeed.

My mom, who is a Holocaust survivor. The Germans invaded her town in Poland in 1939 when she was two years old; so she has the most traumatic childhood backstory of anyone I’ve ever known, and yet she has not an ounce of bitterness or sadness – instead, she emanates strength and love.

How do you measure your success? By how much I can add value to other people’s lives.

What obstacles have you overcome in your career? Being a successful, outspoken, young female manager/ executive was a challenge early on in my career. You have to work hard to earn the respect and admiration of seasoned colleagues and employees when your resume is short and you don’t have any gray hair (yet)!

What “DeW” leaders do?

What is your favorite Indoor/Outdoor Activity? Indoor: East Coast Swing & Lindy Hop. Outdoor: Powerboating

What famous person living or dead would you like to have lunch with? Hedy Lamarr. A lot of people don’t know that not only was she a Hollywood actress in the WWII era, she also basically invented the technology to guide US torpedoes for the US Navy – technology that would come to be known as Bluetooth & WiFi!

They are playing your theme song as you walk on stage. Name that tune! The Greatest Love of All

DEW-ERS

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF A GRIEVING MOTHER By Dr. Sharon Parsons, DDS

n September 21, 2015 my life forever changed. At 4:00 a.m. I was awakened by the police at my door informing me that my son Sean was dead. He died of an opioid overdose. I waited until 6:00 a.m. to call my mother, not wanting to wake her with this news. She hurriedly got ready and came to my house to be with me. Two hours after arriving at my home, she collapsed in my kitchen and died. They think that she had a heart attack due to stress. In the blink of an eye, a good part of my family was gone. I have patients who have lost children, and I have noticed that it seems that they either move ahead with purpose or drop into an abyss. I made a conscious decision to not do the latter. My son became addicted to opioids in his junior year of college. He had called me during a finals week to let me know that he was going to ride dirt bikes with one of his friends. I told him not to do it, reminding him that if he fell and hurt himself he wouldn’t be able to take his finals. Being a boy, of course, he didn’t listen to me and did it anyway. And, of course, he fell and hurt himself. But he didn’t want me to know, so he didn’t go the ER or Urgent Care. The person living next door to his off-campus house handed him four pills, saying that they would get him through the finals. Apparently they did, and apparently he liked them because he went back for more. Thus started his five year odyssey. At first I noticed that he seemed to be about half a beat behind. When asked, he would say that he was tired, etc. But it just got worse. He would deny everything when asked about it. One of the symptoms of the disease of addiction is lying, and they become masters at it. When he got really bad, I finally wore him down, and he admitted what he had been doing. He had become addicted to Oxycontin, the same thing handed to him by his neighbor. We got him into rehab, and I was

hopeful that he was “cured." I knew absolutely nothing about the disease. In rehab he learned that Oxycontin is the synthetic equivalent of heroin, and heroin is pennies on the dollar. Of course, with the disease of addiction, there is relapse; and he soon became addicted to heroin. After stealing from me several times, I finally kicked him out of my home. He moved to Georgia where he moved into an apartment with other addicted young men. After we thought that he had hit rock bottom, his father brought him back to Ohio, let him move into his home and paid for him to finish the work for his college degree. When closely monitored, Sean could manage to stay fairly clean. He had been attending NA meetings. It was ironically on an NA white water rafting trip that he broke his ankle and needed surgery. Despite the warnings that he was a recovering addict, the surgeon prescribed opioids. Not long after, he relapsed and moved in with his girlfriend. She, too, soon became addicted to opioids. Their relationship eventually became toxic. Sean was working to get clean. He had managed to pull himself together to get a decent job and was leaving the relationship. I had agreed to let him move back in with me. He had moved part of his things in on a Sunday and was bringing the rest the following day. We talked about the future, and he was upbeat. He went back for one last night with his girlfriend. Then I got the knock at the door... My life is forever changed. If I could go back in time and change anything to make the outcome different, I would do it in a heartbeat. But of course, I can’t. The disease of addiction makes a loved one turn into an unrecognizable monster. Once in a while you

Dew-ers

When he got really bad, I finally wore him down, and he admitted what he had been doing.

see glimpses of the person you love. I moved on in my and my life!” he told me. The Executive Director of the life half in a daze. I had a practice to run and another ODA heard him say this. Not long thereafter he asked the son who had just started dental school and needed oral surgeon and me to say a few words about opioids my love and support. I was the Secretary of the Ohio at the Ohio Dental Association Leadership Institute. The Dental Association and President of my local society “few words” happened to be a course that we gave. I was and did not want to drop the ball on either. While at an scared to death. I do not really like to speak in public. I had Executive Committee Retreat, I overheard one of my close to sit on a stool behind the podium, my legs were shaking colleagues talking at dinner. They were discussing the so badly. But it was received very well, and soon we were opioid crisis. One of them said, “Why are we spending asked to speak at Component Dental Societies. all of this money? Just let the addicts kill themselves." I quickly went to the ladies room and cried my eyes out. I To date, I have spoken to several groups, most of them was devastated. How could they say that? I considered dentists, about opioids and addiction and have been leaving the retreat and leaving organized dentistry but interviewed on local television and CBS Sunday Morning. decided to stick both out, at least for awhile. It took a Since many of us never learned about addiction in dental few days for me to calm down, but it slowly dawned on school, most dentists do not understand their role in the me that the horrible things being said came from a place whole crisis. Between the age of 13 and 26, the prefrontal of ignorance, not hate. And these were educated people... cortex is still forming. If someone in this age group is worse yet, they were prescribers. I spoke to the Executive exposed to an opioid, they are five times more likely to Director of the Ohio Dental Association and told him become addicted. THAT IS HUGE!! FIVE TIMES MORE that while very upset, I intended to stay and that it was LIKELY. That is middle school, high school and college my intention to try to educate dentists about this. I had sports. And, that is wisdom teeth. I have had many absolutely no idea how I would do this, just that it was dentists tell me that they have been practicing the same my intention. That is when things just took off. One of my way for years and that they have never gotten anyone friends in the ODA is an oral surgeon. He had not heard addicted. My answer to that is, “How do you know?” The about my son’s death until later. He called me very upset person is NOT going to come back to you and ask for and asked what he could do for me. Without thinking, the more. They are way too smart for that. They will get it words that flew out of my mouth were, “Stop prescribing elsewhere. You could be where they got that first taste and so many opioids." I didn’t give it another thought until I decided to get more. Remember, my son went back after saw him at a meeting about a month later. He stopped me just four pills. Another big component of why someone and said that we needed to talk. He told me that he had becomes addicted is genetics. I don’t think anyone is taken what I said to heart. He looked at his practice and good enough to know by looking at someone who is at risk cut his prescribing back drastically. He said that he was and who is not. So, why chance it? Studies have shown dreading it because he thought that he would spend his that alternating ibuprofen and acetaminophen is more weekends dealing with people in pain. “You won’t believe effective at relieving pain than opioids. Another option is it — the opposite happened! I get no calls for pain, and the long-lasting local anesthetic Exparel. the parents are thrilled. This has changed my practice

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Dew-ers As with many things in my life, I did not plan to be an activist. However, the deeper I looked into this problem of opioids, the more upset I became. If you have never read the book Dreamland by Sam Quinones, I would highly recommend it. The perfect storm had occurred in my home state and washed my son away with it. I was helpless to save him, as the only person who can save someone addicted is the addict himself. I needed something good to come from this terrible tragedy. I did not feel qualified to help those already addicted, but I felt that I was in a position to try to help create fewer future addicts. We, as dentists, were unwitting participants in this whole crisis. We believed what we had been told about pain relief and our responsibility to abolish pain. Pain became the fifth vital sign, muddying the waters even more. I believe that we, as a profession, have come a long way. The American Dental Association, as well as the Ohio Dental Association, developed an Opioid Policy that supports prescribing limits and mandatory continuing education about addiction and opioids. I helped to get both of these passed and was elated when it finally happened. There is more work to be done, but the progress made gives me hope. I want to save other families from the heartache of losing a child.

About the author: Dr. Sharon Parsons is a general dentist and owner of Dental Associates in Columbus, Ohio. She has been practicing since 1981 when she graduated from The Ohio State University College of Dentistry. She is very involved in organized dentistry and is currently the President Elect of the Ohio Dental Association. She is a member of the ADA, ODA, Columbus Dental Society, AAWD, American College of Dentists, International College of Dentists, Pierre Fauchard Academy, Academy of Operative Dentistry, ITI and Rotary Club. She is Chair of the East Main St. SID. She became passionate about opioid addiction prevention after her older son died of an opioid overdose. She now speaks to dentists about opioid prescribing and addiction. She has been featured in the ADA News, ODA News and on CBS Sunday Morning. She has started a non-profit, A Voice for Sean, for the purpose of education and advocacy for opioid addiction prevention. She is the recipient of a Lucy Hobbs award for Humanitarianism and Ultradent’s Icon of Dentistry Activism Award. She is thrilled to be practicing with her younger son, who just graduated from dental school.

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THE LUCY HOBBS PROJECT T®

LUCY HOBBS PROJECT CELEBRATION DON’T MISS WOMEN IN DENTISTRY’S PREMIER EVENT

OCTOBER 3-5, 2019 VISIT AN ICONIC VENUE IN CHICAGO Discover one of the most distinguished Michigan Avenue hotels, The Blackstone. Browse their Historic Art Hall, art-filled rooms and corridors, iconic meeting spaces, acclaimed restaurant and sleek Lobby Lounge, Timothy's Hutch. See for yourself why The Blackstone has inspired guests from near and far since 1910.

One of Travel + Leisure’s Top 10 Hotels

SHARE THE EXPERIENCE With a focus on wellness, this event is the perfect retreat for you and your dental team. Learn about the challenges women in dentistry face and how to rise above them. Build an environment that allows team members to be their most complete selves. CONNECT WITH WOMEN IN THE KNOW Fuel your passion! This event features an inspiring keynote speaker, independent of the dental profession, to ignite your spirit. Plus, our panel of experts represents women who are general practitioners, specialists, hygienists, dental assistants, and office managers. They lend a diverse perspective on the issues being discussed and uncover solutions for self-discovery.

NETWORK • CELEBRATE • GIVEBACK

Cost: $199. Dental teams of 3 or more save 10%. For details, email ariviello@benco.com

OVERVIEW

THURS: 10.3.19 Afternoon regiception and optional tours

EARN

3 CE FRI: 10.4.19 CREDITS Full day of panels, speakers & the celebration ceremony

SAT: 10.5.19 Morning group yoga and a healthy breakfast, followed by giveback activity

If you would like to extend your stay at The Blackstone Hotel, there is a Lucy Hobbs group rate of $255.00 plus tax per night (subject to availability). Reserve your seat today - space is limited for this amazing event! Registration closes on 9/27/19.

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SUCCESS

DENTAL OFFICE DESIGN COMPETITION: A CONVERSATION WITH DR. SARAH BRENT AT KC FAMILY DENTAL IN FAIRWAY, KANSAS

he patient experience is a critical, yet highly complex consideration in the building and success of a practice. Comfort is obviously important, but things like convenience, interaction with staff and so many other elements come into play. Making the needle even tougher to thread is consideration of the patient experience into the aesthetic of a practice, from the colors to design to the placement of equipment. Outstanding design for a practice’s facility takes into account this myriad of factors and creates a space that positively impacts patients, from the time they are walking up to the building to well after they’ve left. This consideration for patients and their experience is key to why Dr. Sarah Brent and her practice, KC Family Dental, were selected as the winners of the Dental Office Design Competition, a contest created by Wells Fargo Practice Finance to recognize dental facilities that most effectively express the practitioner(s) philosophy and demonstrate thoughtful assembly of design characteristics associated with an up-to-date dental facility. We spoke with Dr. Brent about what went into the design of her practice and how she sought to make it beneficial for dentists, staff, and most of all patients:

What was the initial inspiration for the design of KC Family Dental? What was the starting point? We started with some of the more challenging elements of the design, like the fact that the lot is essentially a triangle and that we wanted to blend with the aesthetic of the neighborhood while not losing a modern feel. Overall we wanted a good flow from outside to inside, which we felt would add to patient’s comfort coming in the door and

seeing a well-designed place that looked like it fit both the neighborhood and their needs.

How important were the design professionals you worked with in achieving the flow you envisioned? Very much so. Generator Studio did a fantastic job with the aesthetic, using brick and subtle colors to have the building fit with the neighborhood while looking contemporary. Details like the way the metal roof sweeps at an angle and even the backlighting of our sign catch people’s attention and give us an opportunity to engage them as they drive by. Inside they did an amazing job as well, from the twostory vaulted lobby that provides a lot of natural light to the artwork that gives the space great character.

Speaking of the inside, can you describe a bit of how you approached the interior design specifically? How did you balance the aesthetic with the functional?

Success

One thing that was beneficial for us (and a piece of advice I would provide to others opening a practice) is working with someone who has had extensive experience designing specifically dental offices, if possible. There were so many “little decisions” that helped to create a functional and attractive interior design and our designer Dr. Michael Unthank with Unthank Design Group was a huge asset in this regard. As a dentist and architect he has great firsthand experience with how to achieve this balance of design and function. In fact, Dr. Unthank was also instrumental in my dad’s practice design as well. After my dad lost his practice in a natural disaster a few years ago Dr. Unthank was the designer that worked with him as he rebuilt, which is how I was connected with him.

Thinking about that balance and the flow that you described earlier, how did the patient fit into these design elements? We wanted to foster a calm, enjoyable place for our patients. Many healthcare professionals can attest that a comfortable patient has better outcomes and an overall better experience. Like the big windows we have and all of the natural light really create a calming effect, especially since we’re so close to a creek and can even see wildlife and nature from multiple places throughout the office. Another thing I like to note is the attention we’ve paid to noise. Using dental equipment is really noisy, so we had the architects install suspended wood panels we call “wooden clouds”, because they are filled with insulation and can help to dampen noise for the patient in the chair, which can help with their overall comfort.

You mentioned your dad’s practice, so I’m wondering how much of an influence the design of his practice was on yours. The most influence is on how we approach the functionality of the office for our staff, because growing up I was on my dad’s staff! Everyone who works in a dental office from

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dentists to the staff are in awkward positions all day, so we want to do what we can to mitigate that. Factors like our dental chairs and rear delivery cart system give us great flexibility and allow providers to be comfortable so they can focus on providing a great experience for the patient. This even extends to the front of the house where we were intentional about how we laid out the front desk and cabinetry and giving the folks up there good chairs to operate in so they could be comfortable and focus on being that great first impression when people walk in the door.

Let’s talk about technology for a minute. You mentioned a modern aesthetic, so how has technology played a role in the design of the practice and the patient experience? Investing in technology is essential for a modern dental practice and the tools we use really help us to provide more for our patients. Two things we emphasize are convenience and information for those that come in. In terms of operations we use Golden Goose’s scheduling service to make sure we don’t miss new patient calls, while we utilize LocalMed’s ability to have patients do online scheduling for their convenience. Again there’s a lot of “little decisions” that make a difference, like using iPads for patients to input information in the lobby in a way that’s more private than more communal desktop computers. This article provided by Tamarra Plankers, Certified Healthcare Business Consultant, Vice President, Practice Management Group at Wells Fargo Practice Finance. Strategies and tips provided are general in nature and are not legal, tax, or investment advice. Wells Fargo makes no warranties as to accuracy or completeness of information; does not endorse any non-Wells Fargo companies, products, or services described here; and takes no liability for your use of this information. Information and suggestions regarding business risk management and safeguards do not necessarily represent Wells Fargo’s business practices or experience. Please contact your own legal, tax, or financial advisors regarding your specific business needs before taking any action based on this information.

LIVING YOUR STRENGTHS

THE GIFT OF VULNERABILITY

By Eleni Kelakos

“A

nnette,” the interim CEO of a mid-sized marketing company, was struggling to find the best way to deliver a speech to her employees in which she’d have to reveal some bad news about their insurance coverage. “I’m really anxious about this,” she said in our presentation coaching session. “In the ten months I’ve been with this company, I’ve grown to really care about the people who work there. In fact, they feel more like family than employees! Which makes it even harder to tell them they’re going to have to take on more of the expense for their insurance. But if we don’t work together to take that step, we could potentially put the whole company in jeopardy!”

I was touched by the sincerity of Annette’s words, and I told her so. “I wish I could tell them what I just told you,” Annette sighed. “Well, why don’t you?” I asked. “Because I’ve never spoken to them in such a personal way before!” Annette replied. “They’re used to my being — I don’t know — a little more formal and removed as a leader. What if sharing what I’m really feeling makes them lose respect for me?” I told her I doubted that would happen and that it was worth the risk. Annette took a deep breath. “OK,” she said, “I’ll give it a shot.” We put a simple, heartfelt speech together, which Annette worked on until she knew it inside out. On the day of the presentation, Annette was very nervous; but she was also resolved to speak honestly and directly with her employees, even if it was scary.

The email she wrote to me after the speech was over-themoon: “I looked them in the eye, I told them how I really felt. And it was so hard, I felt so raw and exposed! But it also felt good to be so honest with them and to not have to cover up what I was feeling. And you know what? So many people came up to me afterwards to shake my hand, give me a hug, and thank me for being so real with them. That’s never happened before! It feels like some sort of invisible barrier went down - and now we’re all working together to make the best of this financial challenge.” I wasn’t surprised. As a presentation coach and trainer — and a professional singer and actress — I’ve experienced and witnessed the magical bonding that happens when you choose to reveal yourself fully and honestly to your audience. I call this the gift of vulnerability. Because when you take the risk of showing up as a genuine, even flawed, human being, you give your audience permission to do the same in return, which increases trust and cements the connection between you. That said, for most people, the idea of vulnerability as a gift flies in the face of reason: Are you kidding? they think, rolling their eyes. Vulnerability is a weakness! Why, in heaven’s name, would I take the risk of exposing my tenderest parts and open myself up to being hurt? We fret that if we share our true feelings or big ideas, we might be ridiculed or rejected. We worry that if we disagree with our colleagues, they might not like us anymore. We worry that if we’re not absolutely-one-hundred-percent-perfect, we’ll disappoint people. These concerns are particularly true for women who are relational by nature and fearful of doing or saying anything that might damage a friendship or a business relationship.

living your strengths

“They’re used to me being — I don’t know — a little more formal and removed as a leader. What if sharing what I’m really feeling makes them lose respect for me?”

And so, because revealing ourselves is so scary, we opt instead to hide. We hover in the safe zone, far away from the murky middle of discomfort — the icky, vulnerable space we must dare to inhabit if we want to really go headto-head with the stuff that scares us. The murky middle is that heartbeat-pounding place of not knowing, where anything can happen in the name of learning and growth. Any time you learn a new skill, break a habit, or do (or say) something that is outside your comfort zone, you step into the murky middle. You stepped into the murky middle of discomfort as a baby, when you learned how to walk (and fell on your diapered little bottom a gazillion times). You stepped into the murky middle when you learned how to drive - remember the first time you steered your car onto a freeway on-ramp? You step into the murky middle of discomfort every time you tell your life partner or work colleague what you really think, instead of what you think they want to hear. You step into the murky middle of discomfort when you declare your fee to a prospective customer and wait, in silence, for them to reply. Because we don’t like feeling exposed, out-of-control, or vulnerable, we often either try to move quickly through the murky middle of discomfort or avoid it altogether. The fear of standing stressed-out and sweating in the murky middle while other people are watching is, for example, why people run the other way when they’re asked to speak in public or engage in a difficult conversation. Here’s the irony: the more willing you are to risk being and feeling vulnerable with others, the easier (and more fulfilling) it gets. I learned this in my early years as an actress in New York City. The more I stepped into the murky middle by taking the risk to reveal my true colors (my perspective, my way of playing a character, my real

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and unadorned self) on stage, the more comfortable, relaxed and authentic I became in front of an audience. My teacher called this willingness to drop your emotional armor and genuinely reveal yourself to your audience “showing up.” It’s not easy, and it takes a whole lot of courage. The good news is that you can be courageous and scared at the same time: Just ask any soldier facing down the enemy in battle; or anyone who has ever said, “I love you” for the first time to someone who makes their heart go pitty-pat. Simply put, you won’t get comfortable with anything that makes you uncomfortable unless you risk feeling uncomfortable. This means being willing to drop your protective armor and step vulnerably into the murky middle — again and again. Is this easy? No. But it is essential, if you want to grow forward as a leader and human being. As sociologist and author Dr. Brene Brown writes in her book Dare to Lead, “You can’t fully grow and contribute behind armor.” In an article in Forbes Communication Community, Dr. Sharon A. Porter, CEO of Perfect Time, concurs, “Until you experience discomfort, real growth and development do not exist.” Comedian Jerry Seinfeld puts it like this, “You have to be comfortable that it’s gonna hurt!” From a communication standpoint, allowing others to see and hear your “real” self can feel like the ultimate risk. And yet, the more willing you are to reveal yourself — by, let’s say, sharing your honest feelings or perspective in a conversation, speaking up in a professional meeting when you usually don’t, or admitting you’ve made an error — the more you’ll build a bridge between you and the person (or people) to whom you’re talking...which will pave the way for deeper and more genuine relationships.

living your strengths

WE ARE HERE TO SUPPORT YOU. For over 100 years, Patterson Dental has built relationships with practices of all kinds, listening to needs and delivering industry-leading solutions. From office design to dental supplies, we offer the help you need to create the ideal practice environment. And a de-stressed office means you’re free to provide the best possible care to every patient.

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That’s what Annette discovered when she took the risk to speak from her heart to her employees. Because not only did her honesty and vulnerability allow her tough message to be more easily received, it set the stage for a new way of communicating with her employees that continues to generate a deeper level of mutual trust and respect. What about you? What kinds of situations or conversations do you tend to avoid in order not to feel vulnerable or reveal your vulnerability to others? What if, instead of avoiding those scenarios, you waded willingly into them, embracing the vulnerability of the murky middle in the name of learning, growth and a deeper connection with your audience of one or many? How do you think that might change the depth and breadth of your relationships with your patients, your families, your friends or your colleagues? And are you willing to consider that risking being vulnerable and real with another person just might be the greatest gift you can give them? Dare to give the gift of vulnerability to the people in your life who matter to you. Because, as Annette discovered, it really is the gift that keeps on giving.

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About the author: Eleni is a presence and presentation expert and the Chief Transformational Officer of The Eleni Group, now in its second decade. She uses performance techniques learned over twenty years as a professional actress in New York and Los Angeles to help executives be relaxed, real and relatable when they give presentations. She lives happily with her husband and two constantly shedding cats in Ann Arbor, Michigan. eleni@theelenigroup.com ● 734-622-0522 www.theelenigroup.com ● P.O. Box 3827 ● Ann Arbor, MI ● 48106-3827

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LIVING YOUR STRENGTHS

OBSTACLES OR OPPORTUNITIES: YOUR CHOICE!

By Kriston Reisnour, RDH

id you take the path less traveled or follow the weathered path laid out by others that have gone before you? In life we have all been confronted with decisions which have taken us in multiple directions and down paths we felt were right at the time, yet the path we chose had obstacles. Obstacles come in many forms and can pop up unexpectedly. There is the unintended pot hole which causes you to stumble, yet you get up and continue down the path. There are the trees that have fallen across the path, blocking your way until you figure out how to maneuver around them, allowing you to carry on the journey. And finally, there is the unexpected deterioration of the path due to the surrounding environmental elements causing that safe terrain to now present itself as hazardous. This is when some of us feel we have reached what appears to be the end of the road, and for many of us it is when we just give up and concede. What do you do? Do you turn around and retreat to what is considered safe and comfortable or forge ahead and make your own way? Do you take on the obstacle or put yourself in harm’s way trying to get to your final destination? Each person will answer these questions differently depending on their life experiences and the quiet, soft, impressionable voice and stories replayed in their minds. These strong negative or positive guiding forces were embedded within us all as children and are directing us on multiple levels and in ways of which we are not aware. Therefore, some will retreat and give up; some will push forward even if the path is destructive, causing them both emotional and physical harm; and some will find a way to turn a bad experience into a successful opportunity, while some will have the courage to let it go and move beyond. The quiet voice and the stories built on our experiences

throughout life direct or guide us toward the path we will eventually chose and influence how we perceive many of the obstacles on that path. The voices and experiences which shape who we are or can be become obstacles as well. Too many times we listen to the negative voices or let negative experiences stop us from moving forward, hence becoming obstacles on the path of life. We start to question our abilities and self-worth. Growing up I, too, had listened to these quiet voices whispering the negatives and self-doubt which began to take hold and flourish. I fell prey to my own, as Zig Ziglar would say, “stinking thinking." In my blog I filled you all in on my humble beginnings, and now I would like to take you along on the initial path that led me towards healthcare and the profession I am in today. I would have to say one of the pivotal moments which I know defined me as an individual was when my baby sister at the early age of three was diagnosed with acute lymphatic leukemia. “Ellie belly” was her nickname. She was so bright on all levels, and her infectious smile could light up a room. How could we have known that her belly was swollen like that due to the cancer? I remember seeing our beautiful, sweet little girl start to wilt away before our eyes...struggling every minute and fighting with all she had to survive and beat this ugly, uninvited guest which had taken over her tiny body. Towards what appeared to be the end of the battle, the doctors requested we gather the family as they suspected her valiant fight may be coming to an end. She had been given only hours to live. I remember my mom as she ordered the casket and the family beginning to gather to say their goodbyes. In my mom’s words, “It was a taste of hell with a new dawning.” A new dawning indeed. My sister did not die that day, and she was victorious over her fight with

living your strengths

I would have to say one of the pivotal moments which I know defined me as an individual was when my baby sister at the early age of three was diagnosed with acute lymphatic leukemia.

cancer; yet she would carry her battle scars with her the rest of her life. She had contracted encephalitis (swelling of the brain) and a staph infection while in the hospital and with everything she endured was left mentally challenged. Ellie is now 47 years old, and we are blessed to have her in our lives. She has taught us so many life lessons. Lessons in having faith, courage, determination, understanding and empathy for what a person may be going through. I look at people differently now and with a sense of wonderment. I wonder what their stories are. You never know what another person is going through, so always chose to be kind and don’t be so quick to judge. Let your heart be filled with wonder, and ask yourself how you can serve and help that individual. This experience has forever affected each of my family members and guided our eventual career paths. We all took directions toward healthcare and caregiving in one form or another. I truly believe it was because of that initial life experience that my ultimate journey went the way that it did.

“To read more of Ellie’s story, check out our blog at www.dew.life.” My mom would pass away at the very early age of 58 from complications from polycystic kidney and vascular disease. My father had died eight months prior due to a massive heart attack at the age of 60. My parents didn’t get the chance to enjoy their children or grandchildren, let alone meet their great grandchildren. What I would give to have more time to spend with each of them, hence my journey down the path of prevention and oral systemic functional medicine. I was always searching for ways to address the total health of my patients. Losing my parents when they were so young and the childhood experience of my sister’s cancer were driving forces that pushed me towards finding out as much as I could about the root causes of diseases. I went on to complete several preceptorships on vascular health, credentialing in clinical sleep health, orofacial myology,

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and now functional medicine...all in the quest to prevent disease and help individuals live a long, productive life. With each patient we see in the dental practice, we have the opportunity to change their quality of life and in some cases save it. Life is so very precious...what a gift we all have been given. The education I have gained along this path I feel should be shared, or it is truly wasted. I also believe that while you are on your journey, God opens doors, and you need to have the courage to walk through them. Embrace that opportunity and realize he uses the experiences that come along in life to help guide us in the direction of our true purpose. Look for the good in every situation, and know even when a door closes or your path changes, it was not meant to stifle you but to move you in a forward and upward direction. Embrace every minute of your life, believe in yourself, allow yourself to recognize the magnitude of your potential, claim your self-worth, and never give up your integrity along the way. And finally, with an understanding nonjudgmental heart, strive to be a blessing to someone every day. You never know what they may be going through and what obstacles they face. About the author: Kriston Reisnour RDH, BSDH, CCSH, CSOM passionately coaches dental teams on their role in today’s integrated dental/medical healthcare system. She comes highly recommended having been the Dental Program Director for the Bale/Doneen Method and for her extensive experience and knowledge of the comprehensive approach to optimal care. She is a credentialed clinical sleep health educator, certified in orofacial myology, and an airway ambassador. Ms. Reisnour is an accomplished speaker, writer, owner of “Intentional Hygiene," and dental hygienist with over 29 years of experience. Her ability to combine scientific depth and empathy is unique. As a proficient author, she is regularly featured in peer-reviewed publications. She is a member of ADHA,WSDHA, AAOSH, and can be reached at kristonRDH@comcast.net.

LIVING YOUR STRENGTHS

TRANSITIONING THROUGH LIFE WITH PASSION By Tiffany Tripke, RDH

think that at some point all girls dream about or fantasize about their future, who they are going to marry and what their life will look like. I can promise you wholeheartedly if you were to have had a conversation with me about what I was envisioning my future husband to be, it would not have been to marry a dentist, no way on earth! I did not want to be a partner in a business in which you must deal with the employees and share all the decisions and the financial aspects of a dental practice. Besides that, dentists are cut from a different cloth (no offense). No way! On the contrary, my dream was to put on my sparkly hygiene tiara, implement perio programs into dental practices, diagnose and treat patients when needed and then, at the end of the day, joyfully skip out of the office knowing that I had elevated the standard of care for that day and go home to my husband (who would be successful in some other field…not dentistry) and children and have a blissful life of happiness. However, here I am, closing in on nearly 2 decades with Dr. Robert A. Tripke DMD. Yep, I married a dentist. I can also assure you that, if you were to have had a conversation with him decades ago, he would have passionately told you that he would never marry a hygienist. Why? Well, as a person, not as an employee, they are too high maintenance. You know what they say, "Man plans, and God laughs." Well he is certainly having a field day with our family. It’s funny when you pause, look back on life and realize that everything truly happens for a reason and has a purpose. I am going to explain a defining moment in my life: it was huge for me because I had to do something on my own, make a choice. I did not get the chance to ask my parents for advice...I just had to stand strong. I had been accepted to the hygiene program at the IU School of Dentistry in Indianapolis as an alternate. I received a

phone call one day saying that I had moved up on the list, and they wanted another interview before they would decide to accept me into the program. So, there I was in this room, at a long cherry table, with the dean, the hygiene coordinator, hygiene director and every important person who controlled my destiny staring at me. And, actually, it really wasn’t an interview...it was more of a mere suggestion. You see, I happened to be an NFL cheerleader at the time as well. I had just made the Indianapolis Colts squad in the spring. I knew it was going to be a huge and demanding schedule, but something I was willing to try. The board informed me they were willing to accept me into the program. However, I needed to resign as an NFL cheerleader. I politely asked them why, and they responded that it would be a conflict of interest, and they did not feel that I would be able to handle the schedule. Well, I ignored the conflict of interest statement, and I choose to focus on the other half. I said, “Thank you so much for your concern. However, I am truly capable of knowing what I can and cannot handle. If at any time my grades begin to suffer, the very first thing that will be adjusted in my schedule will be my affiliation with the Colts organization. However, I do not feel it is smart to close doors out of fear just because you think you can’t do something, and I would appreciate it if you do not try to close those doors for me. I am sure we can all find a way to work this out." Long story short, I received an acceptance letter. However, certain board members when present always seemed to fail me in clinicals. This was not for reasons of missing calculus or anything truly clinical. It would be for something such as not approving the color choice of my lipstick for that day. I kept my head held high, and I worked hard and graduated with all A’s. However, this isn’t what I am

living your strengths most proud of...that happened about two or three years later when I felt that I had paved the way for other girls applying to the hygiene program who were either NFL or NBA cheerleaders. This was so gratifying to me! I remained on the squad for 7 years and became a captain, and I knew of at least 5 girls who followed in my footsteps and many more who have blazed that trail since I graduated. To me, that was empowerment. I helped inspire other hygienists to keep their additional goals alive. As I look back, it was both a very fun experience and great accomplishment for me; however, I am not sure it was the same for the hygiene board at that time. Thankfully, time and society have changed for the better. While I was going through hygiene school, cheering for the NFL and empowering others, I was silently in an abusive marriage. Well, I finally got the courage, left and started my own consulting business in Indianapolis. I would work in dental practices while their hygienist was on maternity leave or while an office was in the hiring process, and I would implement a structured perio program. This allowed me to stay safe, as my ex-husband could not easily find me. This time was also so good for me; I absolutely enjoyed helping those offices and watching the teams come together and everyone just “light up,” not to mention providing quality care to the patients. It would be a few years before I met my “new” family, and I say family because Bob already had a son Alex who was 8 at the time. I truly treasure the gift of Alex; I feel he was a bonus to me. I jumped in as the role of mom when the time became appropriate, and we as a family have not looked back since. After two miscarriages we were blessed with Brielle. This was not an easy pregnancy, and since she was born 12 weeks premature, we both nearly died, which is another story. I feel it is important to focus on your passions and strengths and just charge ahead in life. That is what I have taught my children, and at times I must remind my husband. Alex has always loved airplanes and grew up thinking he would be a pilot. However, after enrolling him in aviation school and going through several flight-blocks, he realized that a pilot was not in the cards for him. He became depressed and didn’t know what to do with his life. I encouraged him to stay in aviation as it is his passion, and I encouraged him to investigate other options in the aviation field. Eventually, he graduated top of his class, received a master’s degree in aviation administration and is now a safety analyst getting ready to implement and oversee a safety program for the company in which he is in employed. Our daughter, on the other hand, is 14 and has taken a completely different route in education. Traditional schooling just wasn’t working for her (bored), and despite her straight A’s, she needed more dance in her life. So here I am telling the family, okay, let’s get a

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condo in Chicago so she can dance up there and do her school online. Bob and I can travel back and forth, 2 ½ hours one way to treat patients when we schedule them, try to maintain our main property in central Illinois plus still travel to speak and consult. I know...right? I am truly completely insane! Backtracking, in the beginning when I said I would never marry a dentist, well, we are coming full circle to that. In the event that you haven’t met Bob or myself, there is a bit of an age difference between us. The biggest thing I am going through right now is helping him with the idea of retirement and just the coping with surgeries and pain. I certainly was not prepared for this, nor did anyone warn me of this years ago when we were dating. However, no matter the age gap, all married couples go through it, so I get to experience it in my 40’s instead. You see, he has been a national speaker for over 30 years, traveling nearly every week. He temporarily retired from speaking about 5 years ago due to multiple surgeries; however, we kept the practice open a couple days a week. He had double back surgery and spent time with his dad in the final months of his father’s life. During Bob’s back surgery recovery, which took almost 2 years, I noticed he wasn’t happy. We needed to rethink this whole retirement plan...watching him become so unhappy wasn’t healthy. I knew I could not simply let him fully retire, so perhaps we should shut down the practice instead and start the speaking again. This has been our direction over the past 3 years, as we have slowly been adding more and more speaking engagements, which is his passion. However, there is a sadness that comes with letting go of your patients and practice. I was not expecting this, nor was I thinking in these terms, yet here we are just a few months away and the practice that he has spoken about for over 30 years will be finished. I feel that during my whole life I have been helping and or empowering others in some way, trying to find the best in every situation and bring out the best in my family, friends and colleagues. When I go to bed each night, I want to be able to say that I had a successful day, and by this I do not mean what is in my bank account. Was I successful

living your strengths as a speaker in teaching my attendees the value and importance of implementing a structured periodontal program? Was I successful as a consultant in empowering the hygienist, teaching her and her team to elevate their standard of care? Was I successful as a hygienist today, treating all my patients properly and offering the treatment that was best for them? As the owner and wife of the practice, did I facilitate where needed, helping the team members, my husband and the patients? As a wife helping my husband during this transition, I completely understand there is an age difference between us, but am I understanding everything he needs during this time to help him? As a mom, am I there enough for my kids, helping them reach their full potential and beyond? To others who I know who are in abusive relationships and or in the process of leaving one, am I providing enough support and being what they need? If I can answer yes, then I am DeWing what I am supposed to be DeWing, and I am at peace. I honestly do not think that I am that different from any of you and may not even be at your level. I have read your stories, and I have been touched by them...you all are amazing and so inspiring. We all come from many

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different backgrounds and have different stories, but there is always something in common; and you can feel it in each story. It is the passion to help others, the desire to uplift. I am truly thankful for this platform; it is beyond amazing. The women who have come together here to help each other and support one another are exactly what it is all about. We all only get one chance at this life, and it goes by fast; and I want to DeW it big by inspiring, uplifting and empowering others.

About the author: Tiffany Tripke, RDH graduated from IU School of Dentistry in 1995. Upon graduation, she worked in several private practices implementing a structured and organized approach to non-surgical periodontal therapy. She consults with dental practices to organize and structure hygiene departments. Throughout her career, Tiffany has been a dental assistant, dental hygienist, office manager and consultant. She enjoys the challenge of empowering hygienists and helping them to diversify their treatment.

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