Lynne: Oceans Apart

by Stuart Powell Model | Jacqueline Rose

Iwas 16 when I met Lynne. It was an encounter that has remained in the back of my mind for a lifetime.

My mother hadn’t seen her sister, Sheila, since she left England for America as a teenager. Sheila, her husband Garth, my cousins, Heather, Ian and Keith, came to visit us in America for three weeks. Heather brought along her best friend Lynne.

I was taken by Lynne the moment I saw her. We were the same age. She had long, jet black hair. She was tall and elegant, like a swan. She had beautiful eyes and a beautiful, dimpled smile. She was shy. So was I.

It wasn’t long before my mother and Heather tried to push us together. They thought we’d make a cute couple. I wasn’t having it. My shyness got in the way. The way they talked about us made it even more awkward.

During the last week of her stay, I drove Lynne into town from our house on the outskirts of Boulder. We were going to have lunch. We rode mostly in silence. I drove us to the restaurants on the hill just across the street from the university. We ate at a hamburger joint popular with the college kids. I asked her about England. She reminded me she actually lived in Wales.

Everything about her was beautiful, even her accent. I kept sneaking glances at her face as she talked. She wanted to know about America. I didn’t know what to tell her.

After lunch, we walked over to the campus. I told her how my father had gone to school here. I wasn’t sure what my plans for the future were yet. I hadn’t thought much about it. As we walked, we drew closer together. The back of my hand brushed against hers. Then, effortlessly, I took her hand in mine. She clasped my hand. I felt an electric rush pulse through my chest.

In a couple of days, she was gone back to Wales. I thought of her frequently. I could close my eyes and see every detail of her face. I could hear her laughter. Nothing would come of it. An ocean separated us.

Almost three years later, I found myself living in West Berlin. I had joined the Army and was assigned to the 6th Infantry on the Berlin Wall.

My mother and my stepfather wanted to come visit me. Audrey hadn’t been back to Europe since she left England when she was 19. Rex was a war veteran. He hadn’t been back to England since his ship was sunk off of the coast of France by a German torpedo boat. We agreed we’d meet in London and travel around the British countryside if I could break away on leave from my unit.

Within a couple of months, I was crossing the English Channel on a passenger ship headed to meet up with my parents. After a few days in London we rented a car. I drove us to York, Nottingham, and Birmingham to meet my English relatives. Then we were off to Wales where Sheila and Garth lived.

One night, Heather came over for dinner. She brought Lynne with her. We sat next to each other at the dinner table. She wasn’t shy anymore, nor was I. We had both been through a lot in the past couple of years. We had both been in relationships and ended them. She had started her studies at Oxford. I was in the military.

I wanted to see her alone before I went back to Berlin. We agreed to have dinner in Anglesey the next night.

I dressed in my class A Army uniform. It was the only suit and tie brought with me. I wanted to look good for her. I picked her up at Heather’s. Our car ride wasn’t silent this time. We had so much to say to each other. Her laughter put me at ease. I loved making her laugh.

At dinner, we talked about our lives. It wasn’t long before we realized our predicament.

“This is impossible, isn’t it?” she said in her impeccable English accent.

“Yes.” I said. “Yes it is.” I had nothing to offer.

I knew I couldn’t ask her leave her studies and live in Germany with me. She had worked so hard to get into Oxford. Her life was filled with exams.

What good what it have done if she left England for me any way? I wasn’t in Berlin for long stretches of time. If I wasn’t in the field training with the infantry’s headquarters company, I was doing it with the combat support company. And if wasn’t doing either of those, I was in Bavaria in classes.

After dinner, we walked the cobblestone streets of Anglesey hand in hand. At one point I put my arm around her and lead her across a small bridge. We sat in a park and talked until very late. I could have easily fallen in love with her. I wasn’t stopping myseIf.

I drove her back to Heather’s. At the door, she turned to face me. She looked so beautiful in the street light. I felt nervous. She leaned into me, her face tilted back. Our lips met. It was unlike any kiss I had ever had. I felt all of her at once. I took her in my arms and pressed her against the length of my body. I don’t know how long we stood there. Time didn’t matter.

Leaving her stirred an anxiety in me I had never felt before. The same powerful force that drew us together pulled us apart. It’s as if we had no choices in the matter. She knew I fell for her. She knew the sadness I felt.

I could feel her sadness.