Loud&Clear Magazine - No. 10

LOUD&CLEAR

Sydney INDULGE | SPOTLIGHT

After Hours

MODEL: SYDNEY ANKROM @__sydneyankrom__ // PHOTOGRAPHER: SCOTT @412foto

LOUD & CLEAR

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FOUNDER & PUBLISHER

DAVE NAVARRO // @_designprint @loudandclearmagazine

CREATIVE design&print

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

AUTHOR RUSS RAY // @eat.travel.type.colorado

PHOTOGRAPHERS (REGULARS)

ANDREW ORTEGA // aperture.ortega

RICKY ZASTROW // @coloradophotoworks

DONTE TOUSSAINT // @dtouphotography

DOUG MUNGAVIN // @dougmungavinphotography

JUSTIN JACKRABBIT // @blackjackrabbit_studio.llc

ALDRIAN ALFONSO // @ar1photography

DAN JOE // @dan.joephotos

JANNETTE OROZCO // djannetteo

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COPYRIGHTS

LOUD & CLEAR ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE is owned by DAVE NAVARRO. The magazine, its staff and writers, has made sure that content is accurate on the date of publication. The views expressed in the articles reflect the author(s)’ opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher or editor. The published material, adverts, editorials and all other content is published in good faith.

All rights reserved. Nothing can be partially or in whole be reprinted or reproduced without express written permission.

EDWARD FAUST @faust_edward // JANNETTE OROZCO @djannetteo

CONTENTS

5 FACTS

7-8 SPENCER HILL // Race Car Driver + Radio Co-Host

9-10 KATARINA MONET // Fashion Model

11-12 JAXN ROGERS // Professional Athlete + Coach

13-14 VERONICA G. GONZALEZ // Actress + Fitness Professional + Model

LOUD&CLEAR SPOTLIGHT

15-18 EMILY HERMAN // @emilyherman

Photography by Andrew Ortega @aperture.ortega

10 SONGS YOU SHOULD KNOW

19-20 HOPE YOU’RE HUNGRY by Bailey Elora

CHICKEN TENDERS // Dominic Fike @dominicfike

BANANA PANCAKES // Jack Johnson @jackjohnson

CHERRY COLA // October @october

ALL THAT MEAT & NO POTATOES // Louie Armstrong @louiearmstrong

GRILLED CHEESE // Peach Face @peachface

CLEMENTINE // Halsey @halsey

HORCHATA // Vampire Weekend @vampireweekend

PEARS // Weston Estate @westonestate

BLUEBERRIES FOR BREAKFAST // The Mamas & Papas @themamasandpapas

ORANGE JUICE // Noah Kahan @noahkahan

23-27

FAMIGLIETTA // New Mexico Runners Head Coach and USL Hall of Famer

by Author Russ Ray

Photo by Russell Lee Gurulé

@newmexicorunners

SPENCER HILL

RACE car driver // RADIO CO-HOST // publisher

1. I have been racing cars since I was 8 years old. I race Sprint Cars on dirt full time now, but have raced many different styles of cars both on asphalt and dirt.

2. I’m from Albuquerque, New Mexico which is known for the largest photographed event in the world - The Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta.

3. Whenever I’m not behind the wheel, you can still find me at a race track on most weekends as a mechanic, spotter, reporter and even an announcer.

4. I have a lot of unusual pets at my house. My girlfriend already had a couple of dogs but was surprised when I moved in with 4 tree frogs, 4 bullfrogs, 2 toads, lizard and many fish.

5. Aside from racing and co-hosting a radio show, I also work in the marketing/advertising field during the week and help write and publish a magazine called the New Mexico Motorsports Report.

Connect with Spencer Hil at: www.SpencerHillRacing.com @Spencer_Hill4

katarina monet

fashion MODEL

1. I have a Master of Science degree in Clinical Psychology/Counseling. I am currently studying to obtain licensure, so I can begin helping people.

2. I am a great granddaughter of Mr. and Mrs. Powdrell, entrepreneurs and owners of Mr. Powdrell’s Barbeque. We have been in business for over 60 years in Albuquerque, NM.

3. One of my favorite movies is Kill Bill; I may or may not own four swords because of it.

4. Although it wasn’t my passion at the time, I played college basketball for two and a half years. I’m grateful for that experience as it pushed me towards pursuing my educational goals.

5. I love to travel! When I stay overnight in another city, I always bring my bear Alvin; he is 17 years old and well-traveled. Alvin even has his pawsport, get it?

Follow Katarina Monet at: @katarina_monet

Photography by Jannette Orozco @djannetteo

JAXN ROGERS

PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE // COACH

1. I spent 4 years in England playing professionally for RIASA (a soccer academy) and Bradford City. I have also played games for the United States Men’s National Arena Soccer Team.

2. I was a professional ranked racquetball players from age 7-12. I was ranked as high as 1st in the nation and 3rd in the world for my age.

3. My biggest fan is my daughter. You can hear her screaming in the stands and it is my favorite thing about playing.

4. I have an arm sleeve tattoo with small pieces that represent everywhere I have lived in my life so far.

5. I am the Boys Director of Coaching for Rio Rapids Soccer Club. I am blessed to be able to share my passion for soccer to the youth athletes as they begin to discover their love for the game.

Follow Jaxn Rogers at: @jaxnrogers

Veronica G. gonzaleZ

ACTRESS // FITNESS PROFESSIONAL // Model

1. I’m a fine arts lover. I started to model at age 17. I was a model at “Forward Image Talent Agency” for 8 years where I had the opportunity to participate in many fashion shows.

2. I also participated in a couple of pageants like, Miss El Paso and Reina de La Fiesta de las Flores where I was 1st runner up.

3. I like acting. I was fortunate to participate as co-star and play the girlfriend of famous actor and Mexican icon Fernando Almada in the movie El Emperador de La Muerte.

4. I played and sang mariachi music for 11 years. I play the guitar and vihuela. I participated in mariachi conferences that included the International Mariachi conference in Guadalajara.

5. I also have a passion for working out and I try to motivate and inspire others to keep active and stay healthy.

Follow Veronica at: @dulce91479

EMILY HERMAN SPOTLIGHT

LOUD& CLEAR

Photography by Andrew Ortega @aperture.ortega

10 SONGS YOU SHOULD KNOW

HOPE YOU’RE HUNGRY

by Bailey Elora

CHICKEN TENDERS // Dominic Fike @dominicfike

BANANA PANCAKES // Jack Johnson @jackjohnson

CHERRY COLA // October @october

ALL THAT MEAT & NO POTATOES // Louie Armstrong @louiearmstrong

GRILLED CHEESE // Peach Face @peachface

CLEMENTINE // Halsey @halsey

HORCHATA // Vampire Weekend @vampireweekend

PEARS // Weston Estate @westonestate

BLUEBERRIES FOR BREAKFAST // The Mamas & The Papas

@themamasandthepapas

ORANGE JUICE // Noah Kahan @noahkahan

Steve Famiglietta Steve Famiglietta

Head Coach Steve Famiglietta who is also known as “Fami” in the local soccer community, is a USL soccer Hall of Famer and is a well-known soccer icon who has dedicated his entire life to the sport.

Famiglietta is originally from Long Island, New York and moved to Rio Rancho, New Mexico with his family when he was in elementary school. He attended Cibola High School where he followed up his education at the University of New Mexico playing soccer.

After playing at UNM, Famiglietta went on to play in the Southwest Indoor Soccer League (SISL) which later became the United Soccer League (USL) and continued to play indoor and outdoor soccer for numerous teams where he played as a player-coach on several of those teams.

His accomplishments in professional soccer are stacked and include being named to the USL All-Star team three times along with being named the USL Defensive Player of The Year twice. Prior to Famiglietta’s last season, he represented the USL touring Russia and since his playing career, he has been inducted into the USL Hall of Fame as well as the

Cibola

High School Sports Hall of Fame.

Coach, how are you? Thank you so much for taking time out of your day. Tell us about yourself and how your career in soccer got started.

I started playing as a kid in New York. Unfortunately my family wasn’t in a position to place me on a team, so I only played in the playground at school or in the yard with the neighborhood kids.

Our lives revolve so much around emotion, whether it’s in work or family life. If you were forced to choose only one, which emotion, more than any other, drives you to stay involved in such a competitive sport? Is it joy, anger, desire, passion or pride and why?

Love - We all have history, some good/some bad. Soccer is the only thing, outside of God, that has never let me down.

You have been a player and now a coach. What was your biggest challenge as a player? And now as a coach? Have you been able to overcome that challenge? If so, how?

My biggest challenge as a player was knowing someday it would come to an end.  The only only way to overcome that is acceptance.  As a coach, you are always limited by your players

“We all have history, some good/some bad. Soccer is the only thing, outside of God, that has never let me down. ”

–Steve Famiglietta

New Mexico Runners Head Coach and USL Hall of Famer

Photo by Jannette Orozco @djannetteo

abilities. You can continue to teach all players, however I’ve found with adults it’s more about inspiration.

The only way to overcome this challenge is keep inspiring them. You have had a great run and continue to shine. What has been your biggest accomplishment? Thank you for your kind words. However, all my accomplishments have to be shared with my coaches, mentors, teammates and opponents.

My greatest accomplishment is every time I have a player from the past let me know how much I impacted their lives. That’s way better than being just a player or coach.

Soccer culture is different in every state, especially in other countries. Tell us how you feel the soccer culture is in New Mexico vs other states, countries?

It is definitely becoming a more embraced sport. Which is so awesome. Although, we have a very long way to go to catch up to other states let alone other countries.

Tell us what it has been like being part of New Mexico Runners Arena Soccer Team.

An absolute pleasure. It’s great to contribute to somebody else’s dreams.

Do you have any advice for an up and coming athletes and/or coach that would like to follow in your footsteps?

DREAM!!!!! Don’t give up until it is made abundantly clear to move on.

I’m sure you have met and shared fields with many talented and possibly decorated athletes along the way. Tell us how those individuals made an impact in your life and career. I always felt most of my teammates and opponents were more talented than me. That was complete motivation for me. I never expected to be better than anyone. I just wasn’t going to let them individually beat me during competition and for me everything was a competition.

A little off subject… but I feel that music can often play a big role in our lives. What artists have made you who you are today?

I love music and enjoy many artists. I’m always amazed how some songs absolutely nail what I’m going through. As for helping define who I am today I would say it’s more about my experiences vs. music. I’m sure however for the up and coming music artists the lists are endless.

Again, thank you for sharing with us, Coach. I’m honored for your interest.

Connect with Steve Famiglietta on Instagram at: @therealstevefamiglietta

Photo by Russell Lee Gurulé @newmexicorunners

Photo by Russell Lee Gurulé @newmexicorunners

HIGH SCHOOL HONORS

Four-year letterman in Soccer

1982 All District and All State First Team

1983 All District and All State First Team

1983 Team’s Most Valuable Player

1984 High School All-American

COLLEGE CAREER

Full Scholarship to University of New Mexico for Soccer. He played only one season. After one season for UNM, Steve was recruited to play in the Southwest Indoor Soccer League (SISL).

PROFESSIONAL PLAYING CAREER

1986 Albuquerque Outlaws, USL, Inaugural Year • 1987-1988

Albuquerque Gunners, USL • 1988 New Mexico Chiles

USL • 1988-1993

Colorado Comets, USL • 1989

USL All Star Team, Russian Tour • 1994-1995

Amarillo Challengers, USL (player/coach) • 2006-2008

New Mexico Banditos, PASL, (player/coach)

2-time USL Defensive Player of the Year 1987,1988

3-time USL All Star 3-time USL All Star even touring the former Soviet Union as part of the USL All Star Team

COACHING CAREER

1980-1997 Rio Rancho Soccer Club- Staff Coach, Director of Coaching • 1997-2000

FC West Soccer Club, Director of Coaching • 2000-2003

Sandia Prep, Assistant Coach • 2000-2002

Zia Soccer Club, Assistant Director of Coaching • 2002-2017

*various years NMYSA

Olympic Development Program, Coach • 2003-2006

Albuquerque United FC, Asst. Director of Coaching • 2008-2011

Albuquerque United FC Head Coach • 2011-2019

Albuquerque United FC Technical Director • 2006-2008

New Mexico Clash Soccer, Director of Coaching • 2015-2018

US Soccer, player scout • 2018-current

Rio Rapids Soccer Club, Head Coach • 2019

USA Men’s Indoor National Team, Coaching Staff • 2019

New Mexico Runners MASL2 , Head Coach • 2018-current

HONORS

2006 Inducted in the USL Hall of Fame in 2006 as a President’s Selection.

2007 The city of Rio Rancho recognized Steve after his USL induction with an award

2010 Cibola High School Athletic Hall of Fame

2019 MLS Colorado Rapids Coaches Symposium Guest Coach

Spice it Up with Luck!

NOW YOU CAN COOK LIKE A CAJUN

Need A Lil Help In The Kitchen? New DIY cajun food meal kits make mealtime fun and easy! Meals ready in less than an hour!

Chicken and Andouille Sausage Gumbo

Whatchu’ Gon’ Need (Ingredients)

1 cup Roux Dat Gumbo Base found at diycookin.com

1/4 cup vegetable oil

2 green bell peppers

1 white onion chopped

1/2 cup chopped celery

1 pound chicken breast or thighs

1 pound andouille sausage

Chicken and Sausage Gumbo

Chicken & Sausage Gumbo

(Cooking Instructions)

Chicken & Sausage Gumbo

(serves 6-8)

Boil 2 quarts of water in a 6 quart pot

In a SEPERATE SKILLET (cast iron preferred), heat ¼ cup of vegetable oil

ADD 2 bell peppers, 1 onion

chopped, ½ cup chopped celery

Learn more at: https://diycookin.com

Sauté vegetables

ADD 1 cup of Roux Dat Gumbo Base (½ jar) with vegetables and stir into boiling water.

Dice & season 1 pound chicken & 1 pound andouille sausage

ADD diced sausage to boiling water and bring back to boil

ADD diced chicken and return to boil

Cook on a low boil for 60 minutes or until chicken is fully cooked. Serve over steamed rice.

Tarius Knight

INDIE SPOTLIGHT

R&B Singer and Songwriter Extraordinaire

While some of the current generation may consider R&B past its prime, they must not have heard Tarius sing! He’s the man who brings R&B music to a climax with tantalizing twists and sensual spins on the typical topics of love, life, and the pursuit of happiness.

Born in Philly and raised there until his family moved to the Blackwood / Williamston, New Jersey areas in his early teen years (where his deep love of music and vocal talents bloomed). By age 19 he was singing in front of live audiences and performing in several groups and finally founded the wildly successful R&B trio 120. Their combined talents landed them appearances on NBC’s The 10 show, BET’s 106&Park, and a Comcast-sponsored nationwide telethon, in addition to performing on several New Jersey television and radio shows. He was recognized for creating 120’s white-hot slow songs and feelgood summertime anthems all while cultivating the mature, sultry, and passionate lyrics true R&B lovers crave.

Far from the average R&B crooner and balladeer, his sensual tenor voice paired with his titillating and romantic lyrics have him being compared to the vocal stylings of El DeBarge, Usher, Donell Jones, and Justin Timberlake. His lyrical talents have been likened to those of Eric Bellinger, Keri Hillson, Tank, and Neyo. He has been blessed to win First Place in several New Jersey music competitions as well as award-winning recognition by the New York Underground Music Awards. Again, humbled and so fortunate, he has been blessed and privileged to be able to travel the country performing with the

likes of Boyz II Men, Jon B, Bobby Valentino, Case, Donnell Jones, Deborah Cox, and the legendary Marlon Jackson. He is driven to give his best, as a gifted singer, song writer, producer, to leave listeners craving more and swooning from his sexy, silky sounds and messages.

Recently, Tarius has added the title YouTuber to the list of accomplishments and duties to his resume. His new show called The Rhythm & Views Show offers his spin on music reactions and interesting celebrity conversations. The show also shines a light on independant artists and small businesses giving them a platform to expose their talent and products.

Tarius also has a new song and music video off the WE MY ETHOS album called “Get Up”, produced by award winning beat maker Slapp Turner, out on all digital platforms right now. The music video was released on Valentine’s Day 2023 with the hope that everyone would learn to love themselves first. The song deals with depression and mental awareness which is so important to everyone these days, but especially the black community.

Tarius has always written heartfelt songs about love, life, and the struggles of relationships from a truly personal stand point. His very passionate vocals and lyrics spill out to paint a clear picture of the raw emotions otherwise buried deep in his soul. Please let him know where his lyrics take you... @tariusknight

R&B singer and songwriter

Latest Single: “Love Yourself First”

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNNRGhKXnNDLnyTi4FKTC0g

Tarius Knight’s music is also included in feature film, “A New Life” that will be released on August 11th on ‘a few major streaming’ platforms!

A young father reluctantly enters back into the dating scene with the help of his daughter, six years after the untimely passing of his wife.

The film was written and directed by Choice Skinner. https://www.imdb.com/title/ tt12971856/?ref_=tt_mv_ close

FEATURES Model

EDWARD FAUST @faust_edward // JANNETTE OROZCO @djannetteo

LOVE FEELS RIGHT by Elysé

“Love Feels Right” to drop through Sony Music’s The Orchard on all streaming platforms worldwide! 100 limited edition printed release of Elysé’s first single. Get it before it’s gone!

Pre-Order at: www.elyse-music.com

For booking and interview inquiries, please contact her manager, Dave at: 720-261-0968 // dave.designprint@gmail.com // linktr.ee/elyse

Follow Author Russ Ray @eat.travel.type.colorado

I Love You, Audrey

by Author Russ Ray

Love You, Mom.

My mother’s childhood was overshadowed by war. In the first two years of her life, Adolph Hitler murdered his way to the top of the Third Reich. Josef Goebbels ordered German university students in Berlin to burn books. He declared, “The era of extreme Jewish intellectualism is now at an end.” Herman Göring organized the first concentration camp in Oranienburg near Berlin. Not long after, the death camp at Dachau in Bavaria would open.

Audrey and other Britsh children didn’t learn geography from teachers in grammar school. They learned geography from newspaper headlines, from BBC radio broadcasts hosted by American-in-residence Edward R. Murrow, and from the worried conversations of adults talking in their smoke filled living rooms.

When she was five, German pilots leveled the peaceful town of Guernica with HE bombs and incendiary bombs. The air attacks in the Spanish Civil War were a prelude for what was to come in Warsaw, Rotterdam, and London.

Austria and Czechoslovakia fell to the threats and demands of Hitler. Then, when Audrey was 7 years old, Poland was brutally invaded. World War II had officially begun.

Hitler turned his tanks and guns and bombers on Denmark and Norway. It was then that years of food

rationing began in England, causing my grandmother to go without in her pantry. She tried her best to make ends meet for a family of five. All of England watched as the Nazi blitzkrieg bulldozed its way through the Netherlands, Luxembourg, Belgium and France. Kings and Queens throughout Europe found sanctuary in and around London. It was an exciting time for the children of Great Britain, for England had become the center of the universe.

When France fell, Hitler’s high command gathered on the French channel coast and looked across the narrowest part of the English Channel at the ancient port of Dover. England was only twenty miles away. England was next.

Audrey was 8 when Herman Göring’s Luftwaffe attacked English aerodromes, radar stations, and military manufacturing industries in the south-eastern region. She, her brother, and her sister were safely tucked away in Nottingham in the eastern English midlands. They were far awayrom the Battle of Britain - or so they thought.

When the Luftwaffe failed to defeat the Royal Air Force, Göring ordered the destruction of London. All hell broke lose. Night after night, hundreds then thousands of HE bombs and incendiaries fell on the rooftops and streets. Thousands were killed. The citizens of London held strong with their “keep calm and carry on” spirit. In retaliation, Winston Churchill

ordered the bombing of Berlin. London suffered even more in response. Infuriated at seeing German civilians die in the capital city, Hitler ordered air raids on the British countryside.

The town center of Coventry was demolishedshocking the world much like the brutal bombing of Guernica. Liverpool, Manchester, and Birmingham endured attack upon attack of Luftwaffe air raids.

Then, one night when Audrey was 9, one hundred German bombers visited innocent Nottingham. Audrey and fher family huddled in a small, cramped Anderson shelter in their backyard as tons of bombs fell on churches and homes. Even the Univerity of Nottingham fell victim. The following morning the dead, the dying, and the gravely injured lay strewn among the ruins.

When the war was finally over, Audrey was 13 and alone. Her parents (my grandparents) were dead. Her brother had been off to the Royal navy in the final year of the war when he had turned 18. A couple of years after the war her sister was off to Wales and married.

When she was 18, England couldn’t hold her. She asked her employers in the shops of Lenton Abbey to

write reference letters for her to give to the immigration officials. She boarded a train and travelled across the midlands to Liverpool where she got her passport. At Liverpool she boarded another train to take her south to the port town of Plymouth. At every train station she saw the bomb craters and rubble caused by German Heinkle 111s and Ju88s. It would take years for England to recover

Waiting for her in Plymouth was the GV Georgic, the last passenger ship made in the Irish dockyards by the White Star Line. As she often remarked about her voyage, she travelled “in steerage” - meaning her accommodations weren’t posh.

Audrey arrived in New York City at the age of 19. Her childhood was over. She had been a witness to the world’s most destructive war. Now, her life was just beginning again in a new land. I can imagine her face beaming with her beautiful smile, filled with promise and hope.

Happy birthday, Audrey. I miss you. So do your grandsons.

Kindred Soul

I lost my mother almost twelve years ago. Audrey fought metastasized breast cancer for eight years.

At first, she made peace with the diagnosis. After a few months, she rolled up her sleeves and went to battle.

She got back to work as a realtor. She made home improvements. She traveled. Eventhough she was in her 70s, she was still making new friends.

The last two years of her life were difficult. All of the therapies (radiation, chemo, and pharmacological) had run their courses. There was nothing her medical team could offer her but pain relief. I remember the day she learned all treatment would end. She said, “This is worrisome.” It was the only time she complained about knowing the end of her life was finally at hand. She immediately got back to living. Even in death, Audrey taught me life lessons.

There were a lot of things my young sons and her close friends did to help her live independently in her own home as her health finally betrayed her. It was stressful, but her decision to stay hopeful, to live fully, gave me strength.

She often gently sang to me and my brother when we were children, “There’ll always be an England.” In my memory, there’ll always be Audrey. I am grateful for the mom I was given.

More than a Lifetime

Of the many things my mom did in her lifetime was to find the love of her life. She was crazy about my stepfather. He was crazy about her. They cared about each other greatly. They also had epic arguments, but they always ended up together. I remember as a child before they married, watching Rex show up at our house with flowers in hand and always dressed elegantly. I was too young to understand a courtship, but I was a witness to an amazing one. This is one of my favorite pictures of them.

Happy Mother’s Day, mom..

The Rain in Spain

As a child, I had never known England to be part of the United Kingdom. In my mind, England existed by itself. Ireland was united, independent, and an enemy of the Queen. Scotland was vulgar, crass and on its own. Wales was a far-away exotic land. The Channel Islands? I’d never heard of them.

My mother’s east midlands, Nottingham-shire accent was the classic English accent. Not like those strange London accents - or the strained accents from Oxford, or Essex, or Cambridge. Her accent was the universal English accent. I grew up with it. I learned there was a difference between English and American English. My ear was accustomed to both.

Whenever I brought friends over for the first time, they never commented on her foreign accent. She sounded like Mary Poppins and I had expected to be teased about that. No one made fun of her or me. To them, she was just Audrey.

She has been gone for over ten years and I miss her voice. So do my sons and my close friends. When we talk of the past, they always comment about how she spoke.

Whenever I hear a midlands English accent, I stop and listen. It brings back my childhood.

For Mother’s Day Weekend

I was there when my mother died. Her death was something she fought hard against. I witnessed her fight.

In the days leading up to her passing, her doctor explained to me my options (really, they were Audrey’s options - after all, it was her life at stake). We sat across from each other near the nurses’ station. He leaned close to me and began describing the possible medical procedures.

We had spoken many times in the past. That was when he told me her life expectancy was two to eight years. He outlined the various phases of treatment: radiation first, then chemotherapy, followed by pharmaceuticals, then, after all failed, palliative care. Our discussions were more me receiving instructions. Medicines, diet, physical therapy, etc. I felt more like a medical aid and less like a son.

This last discussion was different. His tone was softer, his eyes were caring. As he spoke about each treatment option, he gently ended with his opinion that it would offer no real solution. I quickly discerned he was letting me down softly. My mother was dying.He patted my on the shoulder and said simply, “Russ, it’s her time.”

Audrey lay in a coma for three days. On the second day, I invited two of her many friends to join me in her hospital room. I didn’t want a crowd, I only wanted two. Vickie Neugebauer had known Audrey for decades. She was my mother’s confidant. Vickie’s voice was comforting and reassuring. Tamara Butler was a relatively new friend. She reminded Audrey of when she was young and beautiful. Tamara’s laughter sparked a fire in Audrey’s heart.

discerned he was letting me down softly. My mother was dying.He patted my on the shoulder and said simply, “Russ, it’s her time.”

Audrey lay in a coma for three days. On the second day, I invited two of her many friends to join me in her hospital room. I didn’t want a crowd, I only wanted two. Vickie Neugebauer had known Audrey for decades. She was my mother’s confidant. Vickie’s voice was comforting and reassuring. Tamara Butler was a relatively new friend. She reminded Audrey of when she was young and beautiful. Tamara’s laughter sparked a fire in Audrey’s heart.

I had read somewhere that there were varying degrees of consciousness in comatose patients. That might have not have been true, but I wanted to believe it were true. I wanted Audrey to hear Vickie and Tamra’s voices in her final hours. The three of us gathered around her hospital bed and talked, and laughed, and sometimes sat in silence. In one of those quiet moments, Vickie looked at my mom and said, “Oh, Audrey!”

On the third day, I went to the hospital alone. I knew time was drawing nearer to the end. I brought a book with me expecting to spend the night. That would not be necessary. After the sun went down behind the Boulder foothills and the room drew dark, and the floor we

stunned silence as the nurse came in one last time. I started to realize I would never talk to were on quieted to a hush, Audrey’s breathing became a dry rasp. The nurse stopped in a few times to check. I tried to comfort my mom but she couldn’t hear me.

And then, she stopped breathing. I wasn’t prepared for how I would feel. I sat in my mother again. I would never get to call her and let her know what her grandsons were up to. I would never see her smile or hear her laugh. I would never again hear her beautiful British accent. I burst into tears. I tried to quiet myself - there were other patients close by. As soon as I was overcome with tears, they stopped. I was angry. She had done nothing to deserve suffering for the last eight years of her life. At seventy-eight, she was too young to die.

I was wrong. At seventy eight she lived a fulfilling life. She touched many hearts, made many friends, and she brought joy along the way. When I was a child, she used to embarrass me by all the attention she drew. I wished she were quiet and demure like other mothers. As I got older, I realized her charisma was her gift. She never wasted it.

Yes. I was there when my mother died. I am forever grateful for that moment in time.

Photo by Andrew Ortega