Candle
For a piece created by Clare Whistler, Tamsin Currey, Joanna Haigood, Sam Sharples Pett Level, East Sussex, 3 July 2011 Book design Raphael Whittle Clare Whistler Š 2011
1. As autumn carries on I go deeper into the dark I have lost a lightness a desperate attempt to surface is missed this lack of light place
50. only the light coming out at night only the voices only the hands held, kisses given only the leap into the height only a candle lit to welcome spring only a candle lit bright as memory of darks and white candle as ritual candle as light
2. candle a tiny golden candle, reminding one of bees, honey, thinner than a little finger smooth, handmade and cared for in its paper box
49. first day of spring flowers crowd the sides of roads like candle flames
3. I took it to see Len and Angie yesterday not sure why scared it represented life being blown out I was stayed from entering he was too ill a long slow night was starting and I carried the candle home and put it back on the shelf one has to give everything there is no end of the giving when one is in the dark something will return, or not
48. the candle burns mortality feels close are we all suffering, tentative, unknowing and streaked with experience
4. candle a candle in church, popping it in amongst all the other Catholic lights especially in a dark corner of some cathedral
47. three matches and alight strains of spring show in the sky as the poets say flashes of joy and slow ache of sorrow a human legacy every day a struggle every day treasure
5. There is no order beauty maybe tries to find it and leave the questions out
46. low chant of no sleep hits me as if touching fire although I know it is something to go through I hate the wavering
6. candlestick When I first moved into my house of someone else’s things, I was given a cast metal candlestick that only worked when the candle was in it, unbelievably of the place it was the house’s first possession, candlesticks light coming through lacy patterns of three different holders candlestick wrapped in tissue paper an old pewter candlestick found in a cavern of a bric a brace store in Seaford lovely, round, well-used, wabi-sabi
45. the middle of nowhere the turn in the path the boulder to navigate the trees and brambles too find a way through the washes of beauty the touches of insight the uncertainty the struggle the opening the closing the use of moving the use of shedding the use of treasuring the use of loving the use and disuse of drifting the use of stillness the use of ephemerality the use of insubstantiality all these candle contained
7. candle The miners are coming out of the mine in Chile, one by one coming from darkness to light, after their lives lived underground and they are given sunglasses from an American firm, to enter the light their eyes will need so much adjusting this story of darkness into light as regards a life going out this time yesterday I thought he was still alive I had sat in an island of a room with him hardly living able to sit and cough and say a couple of words of assent and yet in 12 hours the flame, however feeble however fragile had already gone out and that living husk that spirit still alive had gone that skin I had touched and rubbed that body I had helped upright had gone out and the miners coming one by one hour by hour out of the darkness into the light a miracle also maybe one could call it in reverse but both, in some ways coming into the light
44. There is nothing a man will not do to another man. Carolyn Forche A Tunisian lighting himself as I light this candle with the last match in the box
8. Candles from Amsterdam Made in the shape of houses the wick in the middle of the roof like a chimney it turns up later on a christmas card a little house burning in the dark by a fir tree
43. shaking heart tingle in hands and feet, shudder of body this is waking a shaking to the foundations
9. from Edinburgh a strange candlestick like a boat with two candles, square, blue for either end in memory of the Iona boat song
42. when I am alight with ideas is my body reflecting the earth?
10. from St Patrice, Quebec black, iron and old talisman of my mother’s memories
41. sacred objects become so with our intent the bigger world between the small the impossible possible
11. Candle two huge carved wooden candlesticks from London via Italy
40. a pushing wind wipes the day into being edges clear the sky flame of yellow intense as my heart greets the day
12. no candle memory just a faint light of an idea
39. this flame is as alive as me its grace, its power, its mortality
13. Candle breathing exercise hold one’s finger like a candle image the flickering flame extending from your fingertip breath in blow very gently on the imaginary flame letting out your breath as evenly and slowly as possible with lips pursed together and no need for sound keep the flame wavering don’t blow it out
38. ritual waking lemon, hot water, pills beeswax candle pen to paper reading wise words hope for the day lotus seed and blossom candle melting and solid alive, animate and other
14. candle candle burning bright, in the forests of the night another candle and its geological history the outside crinkly and veined, scaly and rough brutally sliced to a flat smooth inside of quartz like a stone age arrowhead its sits happily and heavily in a hand a candle held in rock something to outlast us all and keep me with my elemental roots
37. chanting, a breeze reaches the flame, jumping and jumbling what is the preparation for light the flame is not possible without the wax as body to soul
15. candle ah a box full of fancy perfumed chocolate candles one of those tea cups, a flowery one on a blue background two treasured candles from my sons
36. the flame’s perfume mixes with the match’s strike before the promise of light
16. “it will not last the night, but ah my foes and oh my friends it gives a lovely light� Edna St Vincent Millay it was in Darkness and Light, my candle burns at both ends
35. the flame is a pinpoint
17. Beauty is my only candle against the midnight of my fear Joan Walsh Anglund
34. promise of happiness promises are expectations promises can shatter I shiver with the flame fragility is the way
18. Beauty is my only candle against the midnight of my fear I did not realise I had written it out twice I try to get it under my skin
33. material and immaterial go together like a stumbling block, happens before a hope forwards
19. All Souls Day A candle has gone out A golden light has left the world Honey will always carry a memory I need to burn a candle instead of blowing one out I want that flickering light
32. the burn in everything anxiety hovers miss depth want it
20. ceremony of remembrance one more untouched candle I have been with the earth at the barn I have been with the air where my eyes went wide I have been with fire, my feeble candle I have not been with water yet incomplete ritual
31. eight gusting swallows against the sky candle spilling tears of wax precariously melting
21. candle memories seem thin I remember bringing back brown paper bags from California specially made to hold candles luminarios
30. trembling heart jittery flame every morning moving like change
22. image
of blowing out the light when there is no light around.
29. match dropped into the candle and for a moment two flames I wish I could accept one path it is unlikely I seem to follow all like tracings
23. fragile light it is so close to not being there a candle a cut flower a sunset new fallen snow before its touched
28. two strikes, flame shadow fills the bowl of the circle like an eclipse Am I the circle worried by the shadow yet staying edged and golden
24. will there be candles To have stood two times, two weeks apart in the same crematorium for two joined people
27. a slim line of light elongated and smooth as a chinese paint brush tip
25. to keep light alive when the flame has burnt out a trick of love and memory death is woven into the fabric of this gift, the fall of darkness held awake with history
26. candle allow drift candle no heat, huddle match to finger at last light the candle lit the verse read I can only try to understand I can only try to follow I can only try to accept or not
26. light is spilling from the sky just a few leaves left if we could shed a skin so easily, yearly burn it away, flame-like and intense leave behind an elegant skeleton
25. smell of burnt match held near flame so burnt flesh as well
27. Did a quiz Which of the 7 elements are you? Light!
24. the day is already light I have missed its approach the yellow flame is itself not giving light just dancing
28. on the back of a shelf, high up in the hall, is a knocked about pewter candlestick
23. light comes through the trees with morning the split is still opening we need reminders, of gratitude and possibility
29. How many tea lights can one use in a night, in a life, buying packages of them, 50 at a time, dredging up performances, rituals, presents, just to have at supper, christmas moments, on doorsteps, in a dance class with decorated Indian fabrics, turquoise, pink, mustard, emerald
22. try a match it breaks in pieces then a few more, one lights and drops at the same time, leaves a burnt mark and bitter smell the candle stays unlit
30. is it just a reminder that the moving flame is the moving and moving is dancing?
21.
I am completely awake at the wrong time, night hold me and no one else reclaim inspired darkness
31. another light has gone in the dark
20. candle the Tao said, as always to let go the day ahead is full, let life blossom
32. Darkness workshop we close our eyes to see more clearly we stop we drop we start I am in the unknowing imagination lingers, taste of food, texture of sound, touching in the dark something wants to cling to something I did have a dream I was walking towards a beehive to rest my hand on it, then there was a snake, it was calm but the snake bit me I didn’t feel the bite I just knew it had happened then that was it
19. the darkest, burntest surface reflects the best light
33. whisper, whisper, whisperer light streams as if from rock the bird leaping and sailing I am but air I am but light in the air I am but lightning
18. it is still dark, the wick in its blackened state lit on first strike hardly needed the light, it sinks deeper into its centre creates intensity
34. green water, pure earth, whole fire seeds of wisdom scatter around we bloom, they bloom, I bloom my hands turn and open texture of skin, joy crinkles at the side of the eye I dance, I am, dance, the gesture is enough and sometimes the rock of me solidifies instead of being molten
17. this gift does represent the spiritual journey of life
35. I walked into a room of honey beeswax candles everywhere bookcases of them wrapped in plain white paper
16. this strong light that never goes out on a first blow greets my morning candle lighting is the ritual of all worshippers of all contemplations, elemental forcefire of the spirit
36. burnt wood with a circle hewn out of it by its side is the big egged shaped candle I got all those years ago when I started the gift series it has melted
15. my music ritual of joy every new year, my Dad calls thats lovely within the sound I lit the warm, strong candle, Joanna called in the night, health for 2011 reflected flame in diamond pane window, reflection as strong as reality
37. I carry my heart like a nervous kitten, charting every atonal chorus, like an alien inside me juggling I come to this room and lit the candle in the semi-dark its almost as if I need the yellow light to steer forward and calm the sea
14. ritual – a husk of faith, or a way towards order, repetition, attention, presence
38. Prosperity Candle reach out to women of the world
13. ‘oh heart let go of all your worries about the future In this friendless world come and join us’ Rumi ‘Return is the movement of the Tao Yielding is the way of the Tao’
39. the candle has sunk into its own body, sunk into its own body I failed to light a ritual candle opening a chasm of loss just hidden by an intake of breath
12. the turning of the year the sheer weight of it all a glass candle given to me on my July birthday cracks, burns the floor badly, a forever mark, (to register in the darkness) Jan 1 without fanfare resolutions, I face the new year amber-coloured beeswax candle starts
40. its almost as if the darkness has to continue and later in a circle the candle sat in the middle like life I saw the possibility of just how much a candle can change an experience it is that age old thing, give an object power and care and it resounds now such a tiny hapless light is coming from the candle, just enough to say it is alight, a tiny edge of yellow comes and goes the flame is mostly blue
11. clinking bird like a spoon against glass a shuttle of trills inside my body and out my aching heart has badgered, ridden, lumped along all night outside my body and in
41. soggy black-eyed candle like a rumpled stomach lazes on the saucer melted beyond recognition
10. end of the year, times drag and conversations dawdle, childhood fights played out like reruns death clutters the end of the year this last day even the candle won’t light scary heart so present and strange cries of the spirit, cries of the heart, cries of the body
42. We’re not ahead, we’re behind we’re not above, we’re below Like a brush in a painter’s hand, we have no idea where we are Rumi
9. clinging to the ritual to make lighting a candle as deeply part of my life as my entering the darkness
43. I feel death is on my shoulder crow predictions, darkness is haunting me and this feeble lighting of the candle every morning, a ritual to do with making a piece and in some ways an acceptance and a warding off of death, feels pitiful, laughable and yet like a life on a thread if the ritual stops
8. ice on the drive finally gone, the candle is bright in the dullness and soon the day will be decided
44. I dreamt that the Beloved entered my body pulled out a dagger, and went looking for my heart He couldn’t find it so he struck anywhere Rumi
7. the house now owns many things, that is what Christmas does, a dodgy of gifts shedding has to start all over again with every day of becoming
45. I woke up, counting this as a blessing I am not sure it can get darker
6. collected deaths and weddings of a year on a clear night so no snow hard shadowed frost darting birds flash across the eyes letting you know the image still moves
46. sometimes the only humour in one’s days comes from sheep walking towards a battalion directly facing me and in my path, the leader stood his ground taking them all with him, I lifted my arms in a beseeching U then with a graceful gesture I indicated to the right - they all moved, and I repaid them with gestures like pods of rain bursting upwards, hands as flames, a blessing and thanks
5. I long for a rhyme of health a small fresh syllable, a poultice of words to put the soul right and the body strong
47. the first match doesn’t, then I light the second, some old things can renew and survive Rumi today says not to be afraid and I am not sure its afraid its resignation to not getting there
4. A thousand candles burn in a thousand rooms Luo Fu
48. I knew it must be morning as the snow is reflecting light, sky is grey blue puffy and solid unmoving, a bird is(hope) up, peeling dispiritedly amongst yesterdays birdseed, if this is morning, it could still be night
3. The people are a temple and souls are candles each lighting the other. Germady Ayagi
49. I have struck the match and write by candlelight the flamelight, drumming, hissing and lightly mooing like a giant wind in miniature Yesterday’s snowstorm followed by lightning then a huge multilayered roll of thunder and the snow turning to cannon balls of hail, as all the weathers collided -truly a message from the gods - if it was a former time it would be an ominous prediction As I sink deeper into‌ walk alone thousands of black butterflies around my heart on this dark solstice
2. I lit a candle in the antique carved Italian candlesticks, one burnt into the wood, it was fully alight before I blew it out, no one noticed but me.
50. it it it it it it
is is is is is is
change loss softening disillusion mortality energy
a leaf frozen takes out the flame
1. a burden lifts, I am lighter The surface of the earth says ‘The treasure is within’ The glowing jewel says ‘Don’t be fooled by my beauty’ The light of my face comes from the candle of my spirit Rumi
For a piece created by Clare Whistler, Tamsin Currey, Joanna Haigood, Sam Sharples Pett Level, East Sussex, 3 July 2011 Book design Raphael Whittle Clare Whistler Š 2011
Candle