Desi today english oct nov 2015 web

Vol. 6 | Issue 4 | Oct-Nov 2015

DOES THE

Guru Granth Sahib Ji DESCRIBE DEPRESSION? HALLOWEEN SPECIAL:

Real Life Scary Stories

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“Not Good Enough FOR MY IN-LAWS”

BOLLYWOOD BOYZ:

The Latest Wrestling Sensation

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what’s inside Features 08 Sandeep Gill Tells The Story Of Our People 10 Bollywood Boyz: The Latest Wrestling Sensation 14 Are You Filtering Away Your Life?

16 South Asian UBC President Forced to Resign?

18 Don’t Talk To Boys!...Why Aren’t You Married?

22 Haloween Special: True Scary Stories 26 Not Good Enough For My In-Laws 30 Hear Our Lions Roar: The Singh Project 34 Does The Guru Granth Sahib Ji Describe Depression?

36 Myths And Realities Of Drug Distribution Networks 42 Diwali: A Cloudburst of Divine Ecstasy

PB MORTGAGE SOLUTIONS Borrow • Invest • Insure

604-593-5116 • Custom Mortgage Solutions • Residential & Commercial • Construction • Land Development

Love & Relationship 46 Joti’s Advice Column 48 Marriage Advice from 50+ Year Old Couples

Health & Wellness 50 Canada Needs a National Pharmacare Plan 52 Trick-or-Treat But Save Your Teeth!

Business & Career 54 Land Disputes Tearing Families Apart 56 Five Key Factors That Got Me From Welfare to Work

Beauty & Entertainment 58 Move Over Lehengas & Anarkalis, The Newest Trend: Dhoti Skirts!

60 Makeup Tips: How To Contour

61 Makeup Tips: Get Different Eye Shapes Using the Same Products 62 Was Out Of Work Due To My Complexion 64 Magic Singh: Indian Magician Making Headlines 66 Who Wore It Better: Hollywood Vs. Bollywood 68 Can You Guess The Celebrity?

70 Upcoming Movies 72 Around Town

Automotive 74 Volvo Now Offering Lifetime Warranty On Vehicle 74 Mazda To Reveal A New Sports Car Concept At Tokyo Motor Show

Life, Etc 76 1985 Air India Bombing Commemoration: The Book, The Production & The Woman Behind It All 78 Desi Today’s Cutest Trick-O-Treater’s 80 Recipes 82 Horoscopes

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Editor Parveen Sohal Writers Parveen Sohal Patricia Bhardwaj Lakhpreet Kaur Suresh Kurl Jag Khosa Alex Sangha Amrita Lit Navjeet (Joti) Bajwa Sandeep Gill Dr. Karim Kanani Dr. Diya Chadha Layout & Graphic Design Mohammed Ahmed

Photos by Surya Photo Studio Chandra Bodalia Mahi Photo Studio Aziz Ladha ECCW and Mary Diaz Letters editor@desitoday.ca Sales Desi Today Group: 604.502.6100 info@desitoday.ca subscribe@desitoday.ca email: editor@desitoday.ca Published By Desi Communication Inc. #102-9360 120 St., Surrey, BC V3V 4B9 604.502.6100

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Le er from the Editor With Autumn time in full swing, we want you to get out your cozy blankets and mugs of hot chocolate and curl up with your favourite fall reading material: Desi Today Magazine!

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For this edition, instead of writing 28 article myself, I decided to do something even be er. I brought 8 other writers along for the ride to compile the most newsworthy articles for this Fall season. Among the writers we have students, bloggers, doctors, parents, locals, writers from across the globe and even a self-made success story who was once depending on welfare. We bring you the best of the best—of course.

This edition of Desi Today is particularly special because it is indented to be a keepsake for you. The stories are carefully cra ed so the magazine stays with you for during your entire fall experience this year. Starting off with Halloween: can’t find scary stories to create goosebumps this season? No problem, we compiled a list of real life scary stories for you to share with your friends on Halloween. Don’t know what foods to eat, clothes to wear, or what stories have been occupying the minds of your fellow South Asians during this season? We’ve got you covered like the wool on your scarf and the fur on your coats this Autumn!

Disclaimer #1: The scary stories: Yes, they are all very real. Yes, we expect you to keep your promise of reading them in silence, at night, in your bed, preferably as close to Halloween as possible!

Disclaimer #2: The kids’ costumes: Yes, we found Desi Today’s cutest trick-o-treaters. Yes, you should flip right now to page 80 to see all the adorableness.

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FEATURE

Sandeep Gill Tells The Stories of Our People

“There is one moment that I will never forget. This was a few months into our arrival into Canada.

I was working on a vegetable farm with my mom and dad.I remember looking over at my father and becoming very emotional. It was a very hot summer day; he was covered in dirt and crouched down on his knees picking tomatoes. I just thought to myself, his life should be ge ing easier in old age, not more difficult.

Look, even now it brings tears to my eyes.”

“I never knew people actually worked in Canada. I always thought the government just gave out free money to everyone. This was a surprise to me.”

“My father worked in Canada for 10 years when I was a young girl. He would send us gi s, like clothes and toys. The entire village would come over to look at our gi s. One time my father sent me a pencil with a watch a ached to it, even my teachers we’re amazed; these kind of things didn’t exist in our li le village back then.

I had many fantasies about what living in Canada was like. My Canadian relatives would visit us and talk about bright lights and restaurants.

They always smelled so nice, they wore makeup, jewelry and fancy clothes. I imagined Canada to be made up of only large cities, no bugs or dirt.

So when I arrived here a er my arranged marriage, I was very dissapointed.

It was in late October of 1995, there was no big city, not even leaves on the trees. I was back living on a farm.

I had to let go of my dreams of living an extravagant life and of studying.

I was also afraid of speaking my mind infront of my new family. It took me 3 years to really love it here. But I know I am one of the lucky ones, to be married to a very nice man who never raises his voice at me.”

“I just received a le er in the mail from the government declaring that my parent’s sponsorship papers have been rejected. 6 years a er we first applied.

My husband works two jobs to ensure that our finances meet the minimum income requirements, but that is still not enough. Now we are being advised that we need an income of at least $85, 000 per year.

Our life has been at a standstill for the past 6 years, we can’t afford to buy our own home or even take days off work because we have put everything into these sponsorship applications.

My husband is ready to give up, but I’m not.

I visited my parents in India 4 years ago, I’ve had 2 children since then.

Tell me, who doesn’t want their family close-by to see their children grow up? Imagine what that feels like, the waiting, not knowing for many years and then the rejection.”

“I was very content in India, my life was simple. I didn’t have a lot, nor did I ever want more. My level of happiness is what has changed most since living in Canada. I had high hopes for my family before arriving here because I would be reunited with my daughter. She was doted on by everyone in our family. But I can count on one hand how many times I have spoken to her in the past 8 years.

My daughter is in an abusive marriage. She is not allowed to visit us or talk on the phone, he controls her every move. She won’t leave him because she is too afraid.

Anytime I drive by her house, I am always looking to catch a glimpse of her, praying for our eyes to somehow meet. We live nearby, but she is further away from me now than when I was in India. My wish is for no daughter to live in fear or to suffer at the hands of her husband or in-laws. I have daughter-in-laws of my own whom I treat and respect like I always have my own daughter.”

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OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

www.desitoday.ca

Storyteller Sandeep Gill reveals the tales o en le untold. She sits down and documents the raw and emotional immigration stories within our community. With these stories, she began a project titled “Foreign Daughters” which she shares on her Instagram page “she_writes_herstory.” One person at a time, Sandeep Gill captures our history: a memoir of our people. ep Gill

By Sande

“It was 1984; I was 8 months pregnant with my second child when my husband (a police officer) died.

In 1987 my in-laws sponsored my daughters and I to live with them in Canada. My mother-in-law was constantly berating and picking fights with me. Although I felt helpless, I knew I couldn’t take it anymore, so I packed up our belongings and rented out a basement suite for my daughters and I. At that time, I had no family to rely on, no driver’s license, no money while living in a foreign country where I could barely speak the language; but I had two babies depending on me so I began sewing clothing from my home to make some income.

Eventually my father-in-law came to my door requesting for us to return.

He promised to live with us, help care for my daughters and to treat me like the daughter I was to him; and that is exactly what he did for 13 years until his death.

My door was always open to my mother-in-law, even though she would stay with us for a week at a time; she was still very mean to me. I don’t think she knew how to be happy for me, maybe she was jealous that I made a life for my family.

I worked 7 days a week, 12-15 hour days to provide for my family. I saved enough to buy a condo and then eventually a duplex. One of the happiest moments in my life was buying a brand new Honda Civic for my daughters…in cash; to me it was like buying a Porsche.

My daughter bought her first house 2 years ago. If you were to tell me 28 years ago that my life would turn out like this, I would never have believed it. I was so busy living day by day that I didn’t have the time to dream about their future in that way.

I am so blessed.” www.desitoday.ca

“I came to Canada out of necessity rather than desire. A er just 11 years of marriage, I became widowed at age 35. My son was 10 years old when my husband died suddenly. My marriage was not easy but at least my son was being taken care of.

Shortly a er his death, my in-laws forced us to leave the house we had shared with them for several years. I had no choice but to return to my parents village with my son. We lived with my family for 7 years but I always felt like a financial burden to them. Home has always been temporary.

I remarried at age 43 to a man living in Canada; a widow like myself. All I ever wanted was to work hard for my son and to never depend on anyone else.

My son has a future now.”

“It took 9 long years for me to finally arrive here. As soon as I came to Canada, I forgot everything about my life in Punjab. I go back every few years, but I have never missed it. I’m never lonely here and I’m respected everywhere I go. Even my doctor greets me with a hug. My life here is beautiful.”

“I can’t read or write in Punjabi, but I’ve learned to write my initials in English. I even answer the phone in English.”

“What do you say?”

“No English.”

“My daughter gave me lessons on how to survive in Canada; the first rule was ‘no gossiping’.”

“I arrived on a visitor visa in 1983. I had an uncle in Alberta, where I lived with his family and cared for his children. Eventually I returned to India to get married and then moved to the Okanagan to live with my husband’s family.

We lived as an extended family in one house for many years. Times were difference back then, people were more tolerant, less competitive and looked a er one another. At one time we were over 30 people living under 1 roof: my husband and his 2 brothers and their families as well as each set of our parents and siblings. We laugh about it now because we were like a hotel, never turning our backs on anyone who needed help, many new immigrants stayed with us until they were able to secure jobs and making a living.

People slept anywhere they could find space, in the living room, and even in the closets, because of this our household was always full of laughter and kids running around. Each one of us wives (my sister-in-laws) divided up the chores to make things easier; like the cooking, and cleaning and bathing all of the kids.

Although we all worked very hard labor jobs, we have so many happy memories, it really was a beautiful time. Even now, 20 years later, we get together and reminisce about our first few years in Canada, people are surprised that we all still get along so well.”

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

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FEATURE

Bollywood Boyz: The Latest Wrestling Sensation n Sohal

By Parvee

Photo: ECCW and Mary Diaz

Burnaby-born brothers Gurv and Harv Sihra are making headlines as the next big tag team name in professional wrestling. The “Bollywood Boyz” recently signed with former WWE main-event competitor and founder of TNA Wrestling: Jeff Jarret. The wrestling phenom signed the boys onto his latest franchise called “Global Force Wrestling.” Under Jarre ’s wing, the brothers were flown to the Orleans Arena in Las Vegas where they wrestled for GFW in front of 9,500 cheering fans.

The charismatic and extremely hardworking duo have been wrestling since the age of six and have been perfecting their tag team performances for over a decade. Their dedication to their cra and undeniable likability has led them to make close ties with big-time wrestlers such as Chris Jericho, Edge and Bret “The Hitman” Hart. What is so special about these boys is how well-versed they are in the industry: they have studied matches, analyzed players and understood the logistics and business behind the profession. They play hard, but first and foremost, they work hard.

Most admirably, they do it out of a genuine passion for the industry. “When you’re starving in minus 70 weather in Northern Manitoba making li le money, that’s when you keep doing it because you love it,” Harv comments. When you hear these boys speak about the profession you can’t help but jump on board their enthusiasm and excitement. Their humble character and extremely funny antics have audiences concluding the same undeniable fact: you can’t help but like them!

When you watch these young men enter a match you feel an instant sense of community, a sense of connection, and a sense of pride that these two dedicated and driven individuals are representing our community. Fans from around the world watch in awe as professional wrestlers Gurv and Harv Sihra walk into the ring and make a name for themselves and the for South Asian

Jeff Jarret went on TSN radio while promoting Global Force Wrestling and said he signed [Bollywood Boyz] because [they] want this as bad as [they] breath

How does it feel to be signing with a large company such as Global Force Wrestling?

dedicated our entire young adult lives in making it big in wrestling. It’s one thing to dream and it’s another thing for it to actually happens. When your dreams starting coming to fruition, it’s pre y darn cool.

Harv: We have been dreaming of this moment since we were 6 years old playing wrestling in our parents basement. We’ve

Gurv: We feel very, very excited and so fortunate. Being noticed by a major wrestling promotion in the United States is

community as a whole.

Q 10

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what most independent wrestlers work towards, especially in Canada. It’s the big stage and it’s where we can really build a name for ourselves and further our careers. We’ve been working towards this goal for many years, and it’s finally starting to pay off.

Q

When did your guys’ dream of being a professional wrestler begin? www.desitoday.ca

Harv: Yeah, I remember being about 6.

And, by the time I was high school, I knew this is what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Funny story, as I walked on the stage for my high school degree, students in front of me were announced as “this guy will be going to SFU for law and this guy is going to University of Toronto for science” and as I walked they said, “Harv will focus on one day becoming a world wrestling champion.” I graded and went straight to wrestling school not college.

Q

What has been the biggest struggle ge ing to this point?

Gurv: One of the biggest struggles has definitely been our size. For two guys under six-feet, trying to make it in the “big man’s” world, it’s not an easy task. We have to work twice as hard both in and out of the ring. But that also motivates and drives us to prove a lot of people wrong. Anytime you put limitations on us, we’ll prove you wrong. However, thankfully, size isn’t as big of a factor as it once was, and the fans are a lot smarter too. The fans want to see action and less stalling.

Harv: Also, I think being Canadian is somewhat of a struggle. It’s just harder for Canadian to get down South that is half the ba le is ge ing to America.

There’s a reason America is the land of opportunity because any big money is made there. So it took us nearly 10 years to get noticed in America. Obviously we are not the biggest guys either; we are always told earlier on we were too small for wrestling. But, we quickly proved people

www.desitoday.ca

DESI TODAY EXCLUSIVE

Gurv: Well, we started watching wrestling around the age of six or seven. I clearly remember watching Wrestlemania 12 in 1996, with Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels in the main event, and a er that night we knew this is what we wanted to do. That match was the beginning of our dream.

Photo: ECCW & Mary Diaz

Bollywood Boyz have thier opponents at thier mercy with the famous Sharpshooter move

wrong.

Q

Which professional wrestler do you admire the most and why?

Gurv: Growing up, it was Bret Hart, the Canadian hero, and Shawn Michaels, The Heartbreak Kid. Both had tremendous personalities and we were drawn in.

Their matches were classics. However, as

We have starved, slept on airport floors, and spent nights in the hospital. All because of our passion for wrestling. we got into the business, you learned and studied different wrestlers for different reasons. Someone like Chris Jericho is our size, so we study a lot of his matches

and see his work. Dusty Rhodes, Ric Flair and The Rock for their verbal skills, and how they “sold” tickets. Each wrestler has his or her strong points, and it’s great to learn and take a li le bit from everyone and make it your own. We were always told starting out, “learn from the people that made money in this business.”

Harv: Definitely Bret Hart. Everything about him, the pink and black, the sunglasses he was just so cool. Plus, he was such a great wrestler and story teller.

Over the years, yeah, we gravitated towards Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, Edge and Eddie Guerrero. Cool story is that over the years, we have actually become really close to Jericho and Edge and they have helped us tremendously over the years.

Q

What advice would you give up and coming wrestlers?

Harv: Passion. It is clichéd but true.

When you’re starving in minus 70 weather in Northern Manitoba and making li le money., that’s when you keep doing it because you love it and want to make it for all right reasons. We have done that.

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A DESI View

11

FEATURE We have starved, slept on airport oors and spent nights in hospitals. All because of passion for wrestling. If you want to do this, have passion.

Gurv: Definitely! Also, never take “no� for an answer. We’ve had many doors closed on us, mostly earlier in our careers, but you really have to believe in yourself. It you don’t believe in yourself, nobody will.

Even at this point, we have still A LOT of hard work ahead of us. We’ve been given the “ball�, but now we have to run with it and score a touchdown. It doesn’t matter what your dream is, it all starts with believing in yourself and pu ing in the time.

Bollywood Boyz in the ring.

Q

What’s your favourite wrestling move that another wrestler is famous for?

(Both) Sharpshooter!

Gurv: Yeah, Sharpshooter by the Harts, and Superkick from Shawn Michaels.

However, during the crazy “a itude era�, we all loved the Stone Cold Stunner and Rock Bo om!

Harv: We love performing their moves and it is our way to say thanks to the legends of wrestling who helped pave the way for many of us to make such a wonderful living.

Q

Harv holding his championship belt.

Gurv with an axe handle off the top.

How has being an Indo-Canadian a ected your career?

Harv: Being Indo-Canadian has actually been very beneficial to our careers.

We took what Eddie Guerrero did for the Latin American community applied to the Indo Canadian community. Just like his Latino heat character we took something relevant and hip that relatable (Bollywood) and made that into a great wrestling character. We have fun and dance but when the bell rings it’s all business!

Q

How many times a week do you two work out?

Photos: ECCW & Mary Diaz

Gurv: I go 5-6 days a week, twice a day, with strength and conditioning in the morning, followed by heavy, compound li ing at night. I’ve got an amazing trainer, Dejan Kajic, and he really helps keep conditioned. Anyone looking to increase their conditioning please check him out at Clinch MMA! Harv: Yeah, definitely 5-6 days. With injuries it’s hard sometimes. We try and look as athletic as possible so cardio is the most important. Sometimes you want to skip a workout like a late Saturday night and hang with friends. But then you know that you always have to be ready so 12

OCT / NOV 2015

News With A DESI View

you end up going. It’s all part of the sacrifices you make.

Q

What’ the worst injury you’ve gotten so far?

Harv: Boy, there’s a list of them. I tore my ACL in my knee in 2011 and kept wrestling. My knee was the size of a baseball and I wrestled for 3 weeks like that all taped up.

Gurv: Yeah, there’s definitely a lot to choose from! Both my shoulders are gone from multiple dislocations. I’ve had 2 major concussions which I can remember, and all the bumps and bruises that go with this business. Hey, we signed up for this, and it’s part of the territory. It’s certainly not ballet.

Q

What has been the biggest contributing factor to you two obtaining this contract?

Gurv: It’s been Jeff Jarre , hands down.

Jeff has believed in us since day one, and has given us this platform to perform on in Vegas. He’s always referred to us as his “guys�. He really took 2 unknown East Indian brothers up in Canada, with a dream, and has given us the chance of make it a reality.

Harv: Definitely Jeff Jarret. He’s our boss and mentor who is a wrestling legend having wrestled for WWF/WWE, WCW and found TNA having won many championships. He said on TSN radio while promoting Global Force Wrestling that he signed us cause we want this as bad as we want to breathe. That means a lot coming from a guy who’s done it all, so I guess that’s why we are here. This is life.

Q

Is there anything else you want our readers to know about you or about your partnership?

Harv: We are very proud to represent our Indian heritage in the most entertaining but yet in a respectful manner.

Gurv: Would like to say Thank you to everyone that has supported over the years.

To all the youngsters out there, PLEASE respect your parents, your elders, and dream big.

Harv: Yes, we want to thank everyone who has been with us our journey and thank all of our fans. We take our roles as role models very seriously and enjoy talking to our fans.

If you have a dream, whatever it is, doctor, lawyer or hockey player or even wrestler, work hard in life and do everything from the pureness of your heart. Good things will always happen. www.desitoday.ca

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OCT / NOV 2015 News With A DESI View

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FEATURE

By Amrita

Lit

ARE YOU

FILTERING AWAY YOUR LIFE?

So it’s no secret that today’s day and age is all about social media and how we portray ourselves on it. We are all constantly plugged in and connected to one another via the online image we create in our daily (sometimes hourly) updates.

But what is missing from this webosphere is the ability to really see the true version of someone. We filter and choose what side we decide to “publicize” to the world. What’s le is the inability to feel confident in your true self in “the real world.”

If you are constantly finding that best angle, the shiniest flawless filter, or the wi iest caption – how will you ever feel comfortable with just being you. Flaws and all, no pixels, just real life flesh and blood. Awkward statements, uneven skin tone, and maybe a few pudgy areas around your waistline. There’s no way to sugar coat who you really are in person as you do online. Are we losing the ability to be completely real with one another?

Are we all just walking talking virtual versions of ourselves? With walls up to make sure no one gets in and sees that we are not the picture perfect or snap chat happy person we pretend to be.

So much of our day is consumed by trying to impress others. Trying to APPEAR superior. Heck I do it too. Lately I 14

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A DESI View

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We filter and choose what side we decide to “publicize” to the world. What’s le is the inability to feel confident in your true self in “the real world”.

STERLING KITCHENS & BATH Classic Contemporary Urban

find myself posting a whole lot of my son because I enjoy pu ing it out there that he’s pre y dang spectacular. So by default that makes me pre y awesome too.

What I fear though is that future generations will have subsequent feelings of insecurity and disconnect due to this culture of creating virtual bubbles to keep people out. Will anyone ever share secrets or be okay with being vulnerable or inferior? Will we be okay with showing that today we did diddly squat other than lay around all day with greasy hair and an unwashed face?

If we’re all about the image – how will we ever learn to see past that? I fear for what this will mean for friendships, relationships, and families. The more we boast ourselves up online the further we are straying from true human interaction.

Just something to think about the next time you’re scrolling through those filters. Maybe we all need to start “liking” ourselves and one another just the way we are.

Amrita Lit is a journal blogger (www.amritaliterature.com) who writes about current social and cultural issues www.desitoday.ca

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www.bscc.ca OCT / NOV 2015 News With A DESI View

15

FEATURE

South Asian UBC President Forced to Resign? Didn’t Have

“The Right Look?”

By Patricia Bhardwaj

T

here has been a lot of buzz recently surrounding the recent resignation of UBC President, Arvind Gupta.

Many unanswered questions and spurts of controversy tarnishing the prestigious UBC name have lead to baffled students and curious community members to pry into news sources to find out the truth behind this escalating scandal. To briefly sum up the events that have lead to this story, Arvind Gupta had been given the powerful title of President and ViceChancellor of UBC, one of Canada’s top 10 universities, on March 12, 2014. On August 7. 2015, only one year into Gupta’s five year term, UBC’s board of Governors announced Gupta’s resignation. This was especially concerning considering it had only been a year since he had signed on to take this respected role and the previous 16

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A DESI View

president served for almost ten years.

Further, there was a lack of information provided to the public regarding his departure. This had many wondering the backstory: why and how did this happened?

Many students and faculty have indicated that this was completely unexpected and came as a shock, while the board of Governors has stated “focus on academic priorities” as their reason for Gupta’s sudden resignation. Dr. Arvind Gupta also has refused to comment on the situation, which has lead to continuous speculation and investigation to explore and demand answers to these unanswered questions.

Dr. Gupta has his PhD in computer science promptly returned to his position as a professor within UBC’s computer science department. This in itself did not register with the public as many question

why Gupta would demote himself back to a professor a er being the president of a multi-billion dollar institution. What made him take that step down? Was he treated poorly? Did the board of Governors fail to support him?

It’s all too vague and unclear, which is why UBC is ge ing put under heat. UBC’s previous President, Martha Piper, who served as President from 1997 to 2006, will serve as an interim president until June 2016, during which the search for a new president will be conducted.

Now, what has lead to all eyes on UBC during this time, has been the lack of details provided by UBC regarding Gupta’s departure. However, what has made this story into somewhat of a scandal was when a business professor at UBC, Jennifer Berdahl, decided to write a blog post containing her opinions about this matwww.desitoday.ca

ter, and lets just say, it was not in UBC’s favor. Berdahl was honest and opinionated, rightfully so, as she had the opportunity to observe and speak to president Gupta and saw his visions. She poses a question in her blog post that asks “Did President Arvind Gupta Lose the Masculinity Contest?” She furthermore explains this complex by pointing out that most lose the masculinity contest if they fall within the women category or the minority category.

Gupta, who was the first brown male to become president of UBC, was an advocate for minority and women’s rights, and he actively spoke out about issues circulating these groups. She mentions that because Gupta was not the typical tall, white male, he might not have “fit the role” of President. These are not allegations against the UBC board of Governors, but simply Berdahl’s observations, as she has done much research on gender and diversity and is able to provide an alternative perspective.

To make ma ers worse for UBC, Berdahl then ousted the chair of the board for calling Berdahl and expressing their disappointment in her portrayal of UBC. Along with some of the other administrators, Berdahl was basically scolded for her blog post, which leads to believe that either what she said was the truth or that UBC doesn’t support the notion of academic freedom. This lead to many wanting to know why UBC is being so secretive about his resignation, and what they are hiding.

A er some thorough research, I found some noteworthy insights within the UBC school newspaper, The Ubyssey. Writer. Emma Partridge, provided some compelling content to a BuzzFeed Canada social news editor regarding this unexpected event. Partridge has been following the story since it broke in the beginning of August, and has given an insider perspective to what fellow students have been wondering, and what has slowly been uncovering as time is passing. Partridge mentions that some of the pressing questions that remain are why Gupta resigned so abruptly, and how www.desitoday.ca

long did the board of Governors know that Gupta was making this decision?

Was Gupta forced out of Presidency by the board?

Alongside these warranted questions, Partridge mentions that the press release in which the news broke of Gupta’s resignation, there was not much transparency and that it seemed as if the board was trying to quickly and easily get by without much notice.

Boy, were they wrong. Bcause now its turned around and had the public’s a ention since the news broke in early August. Partridge also mentions that its been tough to report on this issue since Gupta and UBC had singed a non-disclosure agreement, making it nearly impossible to get any solidified information.

But what’s concerning to both Partridge and the UBC student body is why they signed confidentiality agreements in the first place? This just goes to show that the student body does care about what is going on at their school, they want to be involved and informed, which UBC has

clearly not been doing.

With the amount of speculation and controversy surrounding this topic, you would think UBC would simply take onus and provide some details as to why Gupta resigned in this fashion--especially considering the allegations of breaching academic freedom and racism leading to his departure. This, however, has not been the case. Instead, UBC has been more quiet than never and is now being investigated.

While the public will keep a close eye on this story to see what becomes of it, many have already pieced things together and have their own accusations lined up. Regardless of what becomes of it, it is sad to see an Indo-Canadian male step down from such a prestigious position.

Gupta has since taken a teaching position in Toronto and le UBC behind to choose their new president. The public definitely has one thought in mind: will the next president have a be er look for UBC?

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17

FEATURE

Don’t Talk To Boys!

ia

By Patric

j

Bhardwa

Don’t Talk To Girls!

Why Aren’t You Married?

18

OCT / NOV 2015

News With A DESI View

www.desitoday.ca

It

seems as though it just yesterday I was ge ing hour long lectures about why I shouldn’t even be looking twice at members from the opposite sex, let alone be caught dead talking to one. “This is not your age to be focusing on boys”, “Your priority should be school” “It doesn’t look good if you are seen talking to them like that.”

Just some of the creative ways my mom told me to stay as far away as possible from the male species, or face the consequences. It was the ultimate embodiment of being an Indo-Canadian female entering the world of pre-pubescent teenagers and secret MSN love affairs, also known as high school.

Mothers and fathers across the Indian community forbid their children, more specifically their daughters, from interacting with the opposite sex, therefore forcing Indo-Canadian teenagers to either secretly foster a relationship with their male/female counterparts exercising tactics such as codenames on the phone and using friends names as alibis, or we simply obeyed the rules and avoided all and any contact with our future mates.

You can only begin to imagine how unhealthy the relationships between young adults in the Indian community must have been, let alone the scrutiny we faced when our relationships were ousted to our parents by unknown uncles and aunties. There was no in between, it was either you risk ge ing grounded for life by sneaking a relationship, or you encounter social awkwardness when it comes time to communicate with a member from the opposite sex. There’s just no winning.

Fast forward 3-4 years to when I had just entered my 20’s nearing the end of my degree. I was blind-sided by the question I never thought I’d be hearing, “So why don’t you have a boyfriend yet?”, “Munda nai labya?” My first instinct was to laugh it off, as if it was some kind of sick twisted joke, but to my warranted surprise, it was no joke.

The pressure to get married was on.

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19

FEATURE As a 22 year old, recently graduated, Indian female, there are certain expectations when it comes to the big “M� word and it’s tough enough as it is in todays day and age to find someone the old fashioned way, let alone having your mom, strange aunties, and every other elder breathing down your neck. But I had to rewind and think about it for a minute: when did this ip switch in our parents minds? I mean a couple of years ago I was ge ing the death eye at the mention of a boy, and now all of a sudden you’re asking where my boyfriend is?! Do you see the contradiction here?

What sparked my interest even more was the fact that my mom was not trying to set me up with some “Bunty� or “Goldy� from her pind in India, but instead she expected me to have somehow magically known that it was okay to date openly now, and that I should have been on the hunt for a husband.

What our naĂŻve parents do not understand is that it is simply not that easy.

When you are taught to avoid communication with the opposite sex at a young age, believe it or not, it registers, and now years later, it doesn’t help in situations where you might want to get into a relationship. Because we were prohibited to explore our options at a younger age, it becomes much more of a ba le when we reach the age of expected marriage. Never having stepped foot in a male’s house before the age of 20 did not seem like anything out of the ordinary, until you have conversations with your non-Indian friends and get the are you kidding me?!

Upon further examination, these same Indian parents were not only restricting their teenagers contact with one another in a romantic sense, but even in a friendly manner. They told their youths that befriending a member of the opposite sex was wrong and frowned upon, I mean what kind of message does this send to impressionable teenagers?

Either they will rebel and do it anyways leading the parents to be completely unaware of their children’s whereabouts, or the kids will have an extremely tough time building healthy relationships with their male/female counterparts in the future. Either way, this kind of hypocritical parenting style might not be the best approach to helping your children find the perfect partner.

Now, I couldn’t have been the only one that was facing this kind of hypocrisy 20

OCT / NOV 2015

News With A DESI View

hypocritical parenting style might not be the best approach to helping your children find the perfect partner.

from their parents. So I began discussing this with a couple of my friends, and it turns I was not alone. I’m sure some of you reading this right now are nodding your heads like “yup, I know this all too well,� and to you I say, “join the club.�

To my dismay, I was completely thrown off guard by this phenomenon, leading me to question how.. HOW do our parents expect us to automatically throw all the rules out the window and find ourselves a mate. Looking back now as a 22 year old young adult on my younger years and how intimidated I was to ever talk to boys without my mom ever finding out, makes me question how things might have differed had we been allowed to explore the world of dating openly.

I mean how are our parents expecting us to find a significant other when theyprohibited communication with them our whole lives. Then leads to the where question: where do they expect us to find them. Now I am not saying that being able to date in high school would have landed me my future husband today, but perhaps it would have narrowed down the search.

Without having much experience in the field of dating myself, I decided to get some external data and asked some other Indo-Canadian young adults about this phenomenon, and got some interesting feedback.

One young lady says that her parents were so strict, her mom would come early to pick her up from the movies and other outings, and if she even saw a recognizable male, she would immediately start hounding her with questions and accusing her of coming out to meet up with him, which made it very uncomfortable for her to maintain a decent relationship with any of her male friends as they were terrified of her strict mother. When asking her now about what her mother says to her regarding her current love life, she reiterates the same thing, “you should really find someone soon, you’re ge ing to an age where you should be thinking about your wedding�.

But of course. I also spoke to a young man who had recently just got engaged, and he mentioned that his mom had actually introduced him to his fiancĂŠe because he had go en so much heat for being in a relationship as a teenager that he completely shut himself off to approaching and communicating with females. A few years ago when his parents started questioning why he was not thinking about marriage, he was simply ba ed and agreed to meet some potential women his mother had known, luckily he hit it off with one of them, but that aside, he most certainly was scarred.

I wanted to know just how common this phenomenon really was, so I decided to take a poll of how many Indo-Canadian young adults experienced this type of strict ruling in their households and then further on felt a pressure to get married or at least have a significant other in their early 20’s, making sure to poll both males and females separately.

A er surveying 50 males and females, I found that 77% of females agreed that they faced this type of hypocrisy as teenagers, and about 51% of males noticed this occurrence in their youth.

Notably, females definitely receive the harsher end of any kind of strict and restrictive ruling, and I wonder if our generation of 20-30 year olds will raise their children with the same type of ruling. Slow clap for the Indian mom’s and dad’s out there that understand the importance of communication in relationships of today’s day and age. It truly is a strange phenomenon and I have yet to understand it, but I guess it’s something that is common in the Indian community, it will most certainly be interesting to see if this marvel lives on. www.desitoday.ca

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w w w . bOCT r a/ NOV rla w . 21 ca 2015 News With A Desi View

FEATURE

Ha l l Spe owee cial n

our read! We talked to n ee w lo al H people r this d down from ies for you fo se or st as p g n n li ee il b ch e to them hav st, most boneashlight and either belong o grab your fl ariest, creepie S at sc g. th e in os th rb d ot tu h te p is ec d on! ry s and We have coll s they are ve loween occasi tion of storie al ye H ec s; ll y ie co er or a st ev d e r u te fo tr crea these are all telling article ers and have spooky story claimers: yes, o is -t D . go r ow u n k yo ly to we actual come you ohal and let us wel Parveen S your s’mores mpiled by Co

rEdrUM

I was applying to Med school and I was really behind on my volunteer experience. I was desperate to take any place that would give me a lot of hours in a short period of time. There was a mental asylum about 40 minutes from my house and it was the only place that would take in me in so quickly. I had heard stories about a lot of brutal murders taking place but I was sure nothing could happen to me because there was so much security with the volunteers. And I thought they were probably just stories people told.

It was hard adjusting there at first, but I quickly began to really care for a lot of the patients. They all had such heartbreaking stories and they were truly just like me at their core. But there was one woman there that I just couldn`t seem to have a normal conversation with.

56-year-old Yecats. There was always something a little off about her. She would just say the strangest things and I just overall got such a weird vibe from her. She told me that she had always had an alcohol problem but still wanted to take her favourite people to a place called “RedRum.” She said she had taken many people from the asylum to RedRum and that she had such a pleasant time.

One day I went to room 156 where she stayed and she really freaked me out. She kept insisting she take me to RedRum. I will never forget she came right up close 22

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

to my face (like literally a centimetre away from my face) and laughed. She smiled and slowly turned her head and right to my eyes she said “I’m taking you to RedRum today.”

I left the room as quickly as I could and went to my volunteer coordinator.

I told him I wasn’t comfortable taking care of Yecats anymore. And that’s when I found out. That’s when every “normal” thing I knew about life changed.

He told me there was no patient named Yecats. I told him there must be a mistake because Yecats is in room 156 and I had been talking to her for weeks. Confused, he told me there has not been a patient there since Stacey Kipper died last year. What I learned about Stacey Kipper and what I realized about what had happened to me, I will never share with anyone close to me. I knew if I did they’d just put me in the mental asylum with all the

other patients. It just too unbelievable. I mean I wouldn’t believe it if someone told me.

Stacey Kipper had a really bad drinking problem and was really violent when she drank. She blamed everyone she could on her drinking problem and would rage at anyone in her path. One day Stacey Kipper hung herself. People close to her said the drinking made Stacey do a lot of violent things and made Stacey do a lot of strange things as well. The first thing I found out what was that she often spelled words backwards. “Yecats”.

Yecats is Stacey.

That’s not even the worst part. It was at the moment I finally understood. My heart literally stopped. I remembered her face, her slow turning smile. That smile will never leave my mind. I now understood what she meant by taking me to “RedRum.”

I am a man. I live on my own.

Every once in a while I’ll see her. www.desitoday.ca

PHOtOGraPHs This is literally the creepiest thing that’s ever happened to me and I have no idea how to explain it. I don’t know how to get it out of my head.

About a year ago, I had an assignment with my photography class where we had to take a bunch of nature shots. No one had time to go out to take a trip overnight with me and I had camped so many times with my family before so I decided to go on my own. A few people warned me that at the camp site I was going to but I never really believed in ghosts or spirits or anything. The story goes that a young girl was being tormented by a stalker who became obsessed with her. He would follow her, photograph her and show up to her school. She asked for a restraining order but the police did not take the case too seriously. One day, her and her family went

on a camping trip. The man followed the girl and mutilated her in her sleep. Stories say she still roams the camp site.

Again, I don’t believe in this stuff. I set up a small clearing and I made sure it was where no one else goes because people’s footsteps and voices would scare away

the animals of the campsite. I filled up four rolls of film. It was a quiet night.

I went home the next day to my dark room to develop the pictures. When I got to the last roll of film, I saw something I will never forget. Pictures I never took... of myself.

PEEPHOLE

I decided to go to the teachers’ lounge and have some coffee while I finished marking. To my surprise, no one was in the school, even the janitors had gone home for the evening. It was close to 10:00pm and I was sitting alone when I was finally on the last exam. That’s when I started hearing knocking at the door. I was really startled at first but assumed it was a janitor that had come in. Just to be cautious, I decided to peak through the hole to see who it was but all I could see was red. I yelled “is anyone there?” and I didn’t get a response. I decided I must have just had too much coffee so II decided I must have just made up the knocking. I look again into the peephole and again just saw red. I sat back down and 10 minutes later I marked the last exam and went home.

The next day I decided to tell one of the teachers of what happened the night before. Mr. Gray, the older janitor still working at the school, overheard part of the story he stopped me and told us both a myth of the school back in the day. He told the teachers of the ghost that haunted that school The other teacher, very intrigued, asked what the ghost looked like.

Mr. Gray explained: Everyone rememembered the ghost quite well, she was all white with one distinct feature: her red bloody eyes. www.desitoday.ca

GOOGLE MaPs

She was the girl who never wanted to be seen. But someone made a mistake. A big mistake. If you type in the following coordinates into Google Maps and zoom in and you’ll see what happened to her. What did Google accidentally document?

Coordinates: 52.376552,5.198303 (Beatrixpad, 1312 Almere, Netherlands)

babYsittinG

I will never ever forget this story. It happened over 10 years ago but I still remember and it and tell it to all my friends. I was 16 at the time and babysitting for my uncle’s friend who had one 4-year-old daughter. At around 8pm she starting arguing with me about having to go to bed, she asked me why she had to go to sleep and I said “it’s time for little girls to get a good night’s rest.” I will never forget, she pointed across the room to the edge of her and said “What about that little girl?”

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

23

FEATURE

tWins I never thought that I would be the type to believe in ghosts or anything paranormal. But then again I never thought anything like this could happen to me.

About two years ago, my family and I moved into a new house. My brother’s friend told us stories that the house we were going to move into was haunted. I, of course, thought it was all made up. The story goes that the family who lived in the house before us was a single mom with two twins: a boy and girl. The mom was really overwhelmed and stressed out because her bills were piling up and she had debt collection workers calling her daily.

One day, the mom was giving the babies a bath before she started work. She stepped out of the bathroom for just a moment to answer the phone but when she got back,

babY MOnitOr When my daughter was first born, it was a really stressful time for me and my wife. She became really stressed out so I started working from home to help support her. One day, I was working and I put the baby monitor beside me and I heard “go to sleep, go to sleep” in a lullaby voice.

I kept on doing my work, thinking nothing of it. Hours later, I saw my wife’s car pull up in the driveway.. I ran to the nursery and saw that no one was there except my baby girl. My wife of course thought I was just hearing things. I work for an IT company so I had already connected

she saw both babies floating face down in the water. They both drowned.

After the mother reported seeing reflections of the babies in every room that she went. At first she found it comforting to see her sweet babies again. But soon, she noticed something was off about baby monitor to our house’s surveillance system. I ran to the main computer and I played the baby monitor loop back. “Go to sleep, go to sleep.” Played over and over.

My wife and I looked at each other and we had no idea what to do. When I first heard it in my office, It sounded sweet and soothing but now it sounded off. Very off. “Go to sleep, go to sleep” it still plays in my mind when I let my thoughts wonder.

Where did it come from? I’ve played it for everyone I know and no one knows how to respond to it. I don’t believe in ghosts or spirits but I will never delete the sound clip I had. Some days it will drive me insane. The most unsettling part is is, my

them. For hours they would watch her. After some time, the mother eventually moved out of the house because she couldn’t take it anymore.

“They’re watching you” my brother’s friends would tease.

For weeks, he would tell me that they’re following everything I do and it just got to a point where it was annoying. For weeks he would tell me that the little boy and girl are still living in my room and watching everything I did. As time went on, he finally stopped making comments and I finally settled into the house. Soon, I had forgotten he had even told me the story.

Then on the first day of school, I decided to take a picture of myself on my phone. I accidentally left the flash on for the first one but I didn’t delete it. I was showing my friend at school the pictures that I took and that’s when I noticed it.

Their faces....watching me.

baby is now 2-years-old and whenever I play the sound clip, she’ll slowly turn her head and smile. I know my sweet baby girl and I know her sweet smile and I can’t explain it in the right words, but that smile she makes when she hears it, the “go to sleep, go to sleep” that’s not my baby girl’s smile. And she always smiles right at me.

There once was girl name Sue, She wed at twenty-two, Night fell quick, Her dress still slick, Bride was found in a ditch

24

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

You’ll notice a computer cursor in this picture. That’s because it is a picture I took off of my phone of surveillance footage from a computer. I used to work as a security guy for a hotel company.

At around midnight on night I received www.desitoday.ca

Wristbands

I work in a hospital, so it’s a place where death is common, I kind of learned how to just shrug things off and move on. Things happen that I can’t explain all the time but this is different, and kind of both creeps me out, and brings shivers to my bones. There was no trace of either of these patients when I checked. I have spent my entire life studying science and logic and I have no idea how to explain this. No one does.

So, when you’re admitted to a hospital, they give you a white wristband with your name. There are also other color wristband that stand for other things. The red wrist bands are placed on dead people. I was working on the night shift in an older hospital. I had just finished an operation and was on my way to the lobby. I entered the elevator and there was just one person there. I made regular chit-chat while we descended.

When the elevator door opened, another woman was about to enter and I immediately slammed the close button and pressed the button for the highest floor.

I explained to the woman on the elevator that it was the patient who I had just operated on. She died while I was on the operating room—unless I was mistaken.

“Didn’t you see the red wristband she was wearing?” I asked the woman.

She smiled, raised her arms, and said “something like this?”

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complaints from a couple who had been staying with us. They said they saw a little girl in their room and thought we had double-booked them. They went to apologize for leaving their bags and that’s when they knew something was off. They swore to me that as they were leaving the room, the child was hanging from the roof. As requested, I checked the security camera. That’s when I saw it. My manager immediately told me to delete the footage. I didn’t know what to do. I said to call the police or I don’t know, do something.

He ordered me to delete it. I couldn’t just get rid of it. I couldn’t leave it like that. So I took a picture. I don’t know what else to do but show everyone I know. Who is this girl? What’s her story? What was happening? I still keep in contact with the couple who showed it to me. They still see her when they close their eyes. www.desitoday.ca

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

25

FEATURE

Not Good Enough for My In-Laws

BY ANONYMOUS

26

OCT / NOV 2015

News With A Desi View

www.desitoday.ca

I write this article with a heavy heart.

I do not want to come off as a victim (I am far from it). I simply want to share what I experienced as a newlywed “westernized” Sikh girl who moved in with her “traditional” in-laws. Why the heavy heart? Simply, my experiences are not isolated. The more I speak to Sikh friends and colleagues, the more I realize that my experiences are common and what some term as the “norm”. I wish to share my experiences to simply tell other women in challenging family situations that, “You are not alone”.

I am a Sikh who was married about six years ago. Before marriage, I always lived at home with my parents (even throughout university). I became a qualified professional who always worked hard and succeeded (through the support of both my parents). I played hard and worked even harder. I was independent. I was a good cook (Indian food included). I looked after all the housework for my parents and most of all, my parents valued my opinion; they saw the all-night study sessions I pulled, they saw me achieve my First Class Honors degree, and they saw me progress professionally. But what was missing for them was that I was not married – they felt that it was a great burden on their heads to have an unmarried, 27 year-old daughter.

So the day came… I announced that I had found someone. “Same religion?”

Yes. “Same caste?” Yes. “A college graduate?” No. This final point was a bit sticky (particularly for my dad to accept) but we got there in the end. He accepted it and decided that the “love marriage” would go ahead and my parents welcomed my husband with open arms.

I will skip past the wedding and planning details (as that brought with it significant challenges). It was a traditional wedding, an “intimate” 600 person affair with hardly anyone I knew and of course, my parents paid. In retrospect, I should have picked up on the “traditional” nature of my in-laws at this point. However, I was blinded by my husband’s persistence that, “Everything was going to be fine!” and that his parents would love me. “They need someone independent and strong minded,” he said. I was moving into a big, over-extended family (he had four uncles and two aunts all with married children who had children of their own) and my husband felt my independent outlook would benefit his mum who grew up in the shadow of stronger, more dominant women. I, on the other hand, can count my uncles on one finger www.desitoday.ca

and do not need any fingers for my aunts.

Suffice to say, I came from a very small family and I was moving into a new, far away town with an over-extended family who all lived within five minutes of each other. I was leaving behind everything I knew.

Fast forward to approximately one month of living with my in-laws (his mum and dad and two younger siblings) .

“She goes back to her parents’ house too much.”

“She doesn’t mix with our family.”

“She doesn’t eat dinner with us.”

“She is always in her room.”

“She answers back.”

“She does not agree with us.”

“She didn’t wash the dishes properly.”

These were the messages my husband was asked to relay back to me on an almost daily basis. In regard to the dishes, I was given a washing demonstration of the plate in question, shown where the stain had remained, and “advised” to double check once I had given the dishes a rinse. I couldn’t believe it! I was shocked that I was getting this training.

This made me even more determined to “rebel”. After all, I was a highly educated woman who had a professional job and I did not need to hear such comments, I thought.

It had been my intention to go into my new life being myself – to say what I felt when necessary, help with the cooking, and enjoy my role as a wife. However I quickly came to realize that I had no place in my new family. I was constantly compared to the other daughter-in-laws and told I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t included in any family discussions or asked what I might think. Members of my new family would arrange dinners and events and not even care to add me to the invite – this treatment came from the people I shared a house with. Finally, the fact that I had left behind my parents seemed to mean nothing to them.

Overtime, I became more withdrawn and felt isolated. “If I am not good enough for them,” I told myself, “I don’t care what they or the extended family thinks of me.” I was talked about and sniggered at as being bad and disrespectful. But the truth is, I did care what people thought of me but I did not want to conform to their perception of how I should behave and act. Tensions grew and anger brewed as I was not the daughter-in-law they had dreamed of, one that would spend evenings with my mother-in-law following her lead of cooking and cleaning (after all I was completely incapable of cooking

myself, according to her). It was her way or the highway and so, I chose the highway to her disappointment and rage.

The “highway” may have been overtly demonstrated and perceived by others but inside, I struggled with anxiety; the constant sickly feeling, being ignored in the house I lived in, having three women against me (after all his sisters would defend their mum), having to suffer alone in my bedroom and the stresses it put on my relationship with my husband. Going from a confident women, I can honestly say I had no self-belief left. I was made to feel like I was a terrible person and I know that I was the hot topic at family gatherings I was not present at. My confidence fell to an all-time low and I felt I was incapable of anything. I became a shell of what I was; mentally and physically, dropping over a stone with all the anxiety I was suffering.

So I started trying to be more “worthy”. I stopped going back to visit my parents. I started trying to spend more time with my in-laws, and did not speak my mind or give my opinions. I spent weekends waiting around for them to try and show them I was available; I put my life on hold to conform. I did this all in the hopes that I would be accepted and not gossiped about. Ultimately, I was emotionally blackmailed. There was a lingering threat in the background that they would complain to my parents about my behavior and I was afraid that my dad would blame me for the “love marriage” I chose. I felt trapped and alone. I could not turn to my husband as he himself was feeling the pressure for the choice he made.

One year into the marriage, I committed the cardinal sin: I bought my own house and my husband and I moved out.

Though it was a mere 5 minute walk from my in-laws, they felt that I had “taken away” their only son to his own house.

I had been open with my husband from the start of our relationship that I wanted my own house and I wanted us to have our own space. This was something we had discussed and agreed upon prior to marriage and something my in-laws were also aware of. What should have been an exciting and proud time for any parents (watching their kids buy their first house independently) turned into a nightmare.

My in-laws refused to come to our house.

My husband became withdrawn and I felt he blamed me for all the issues. It was their view that we had been dishonest and not managed their expectations about our timeframe for such a move. But OCT / NOV 2015 27 News With A Desi View

FEATURE still I visisted my in-laws every weekend and most evenings after work to show that we were still part of the family, but I was still suffering from all the anxiety I had living with them.

All the anger towards me came to a head when my mother-in-law did what she had always threatened to do: she called my parents and complained about me. This was followed up with a public display of fury as my mother-in-law confronted my mum and dad at a family function about how they had raised such a rude and disobedient girl. She said that she had taught her daughters well and I had been raised with no manners.

They hadn’t given me any “arkaal” (sense) in how to respect in-laws, she said. They were bad people without morals and had taught their daughter to be the same, she concluded.

Rightly or wrongly, I cut of all contact with my in-laws at that point as it was the only way I could cope with it. I remember the weeks that followed were awful. My husband and I argued about it constantly. I blamed him, he blamed me and around in circles we went. My anxiety got worse and I became physically unwell. I put pressure on my husband to try and smooth it over. I set him the task of trying to make my mother-in-law change her mind about me and I didn’t want to be caste as a black sheep. In hindsight, I realize this was a mistake – my husband became more withdrawn as he had pressure from both sides.

This all happened about 4 years ago.

I can’t pin point exactly how things were resolved but I believe it was a mixture of me walking away and also later learning to accept that one side is not going to change the views of the other.

Me walking away demonstrated that I was unwilling to endure the insults to my parents – full-stop. This hit a nerve with my mother-in-law. She realized that I was never going to be the “traditional daughter in-law” whose role it was to accept everything that was thrown my way.

I think she came to realize that she risked losing her son and his wife.

Once the communication channels did open up (aided by a family relative from my husband’s side at our request), we did not dissect the past. Instead, we silently acknowledged that both sides had their views and these were not going to be changed – neither side made any apology for holding their views. The only apology I made was where they felt my actions or behavior had been inappropriate towards them – I am humble enough / NOV 2015 28 OCT News With A Desi View

to acknowledge that the delivery of my message fueled by anger was not right.

What this experience did do was it established that there are boundaries in our relationship – something traditional in-laws find difficult to appreciate.

Despite moving on, I look back and wonder how I could have handled it so badly. I now have a three year old daughter and I panic at the thought of her ever going through or feeling the same way I did. Feeling like a second-class citizen in what was supposedly my new home – and for what reason?

In our Sikh scriptures, women are considered to have the same souls as men and an equal right to grow spiritually. Our Gurus taught us that there is no difference between a man and woman.

The Anand Karaj is defined as a marriage between equals. Why then, is there a burden on girls to have to change or to adjust to their “new family”? Why can’t we be accepted for who we are instead of being ostracized for not performing to a preordained expectation of how we should behave as a daughter-in-law? My mum calls it the “generation gap” and how this type of thinking cannot be changed. Unfortunately, there is an unnatural bias towards boys (whether we like to admit it or not).

This is why the vast majority of Sikh parents-in-law (in my experience) behave in the manner that they do, thinking that it is ok for them to blame a girl’s parents for her not being respectful enough – God forbid it should be the other way round.

It is clear that many Punjabi famileis have unreasonable expectations which piles on unnecessary pressure. A friend of mine recently went to the doctor complaining of certain symptoms. After running a number of medical tests, the doctor diagnosed her with depression and she came to realise that the pressures of her married life and in-laws was the cause. Worse, the doctor told her that her symptoms were common to what he is seeing in Indian women as they live in a pressured situation of having to fulfill role expectations whilst still having the modern pressures of a professional job and equal if not the majority of financial responsibilities.

Whilst I may not agree with my mum’s explanation, I do accept it. I alone am not going to change people’s engrained beliefs: what I can do is change how I react to it. This is the message I wish to get across to my fellow sisters in the situation I was. You are allowed to have your own opinion. Everything you have achieved in your life before your marriage is worth

something. You should not feel guilty for wanting to have independence in your own right. Your marriage or your in-laws should not define you. You should define you. It is okay to be you. For that, you should carry no guilt. It is not okay to be emotionally blackmailed or bullied and it is not okay to have our parents insulted simply because they are the girl’s parents.

If you are not “good enough” in their eyes, that is their opinion. Do not let their views stop you from living your life. Do not be disrespectful and do not add unnecessary fuel to the fire, but at the same time you are not there to be insulted and you do not have to accept what is wrong.

A marriage is a commitment between two people – whilst I understand that there are cultural traditions in joining into a new family, the most important thing first should be your marriage and becoming ik jot. Shared values, a shared Guru and an understanding between a husband and a wife should take precedence over all other factors. If you have a solid base, then no matter what periphery issues come up (such as the comments I incurred at the start) will not matter and you can deal with them together as a unit. In hindsight, this was my mistake – I fought for my husband to defend me against his family. We should have had a better channel of communication to air our views and understand one another before we responded or dealt with the “attacks” coming our way. Having been to marriage counselling, we have come to realise the mistakes we made.

The thought of marriage counselling is seen as a big taboo in our culture. However in my opinion this is the best decision we made. We came to understand our views in a non-judgmental environment and it has taught us to communicate our feelings to each other more productively.

The relationship with my in-laws is much improved, We respect that we have independent lives, but ultimately we accept that we are all a big family – we just don’t need to live in each other’s pockets to prove it.

I still get the occasional few seconds of anxiety when I feel that my in-laws think that I am not good enough, but then I see my daughter’s face and imagine if it was her in my shoes. I realize that I should not feel guilty or be scared of being me or doing what I want. I should not be afraid to live the life I dreamed off as a girl and this shouldn’t change because I got married We are somebodies. We are not somebody’s! www.desitoday.ca

www.desitoday.ca

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

29

FEATURE

By Parveen Sohal

HEAR OUR LIONS ROAR: THE SINGH PROJECT Hear Our Lions Roar: The Singh History

DESI TODAY EXCLUSIVE

In our community the term “Singh” is associated with fearlessness, strength, devotion, brotherhood and unity. The beard and turban have come to symbolize these traits in the physical form. Together, these act as the Sikh man’s uniform.

These physicalities and titles that come together to create an identity for the individuals baptized within the religion. It’s safe to say that within our community we naturally respond to Singhs with respect and identify them as representative of the love and oneness Guru Gobind Singh Ji strived to create. This, unfortunately, isn’t always the case with the media.

Hear Our Lions Roar: The Singh Media The relationship between Sikhs and the Media have always been an uneasy one. Stereotypes, overgeneralizations and plain ignorance fill headlines in western media. The National Geographic once featured a program titled “Inside Al Qaeda” where they examined the Islamic terrorist group and as narrator described the group’s terror reign on the world, they showed images of two Sikhs visiting the Lincoln Memorial in Washington.

These men were neither Islamic, terrorists nor were they in any way affiliated with member of “Al Qaeda.” They were 30

OCT / NOV 2015

News With A DESI View

men with beards and turbans. They were Sikhs. Sikhs that continue to be misrepresented by the media. The National Geographic later apologized for mistaking the innocent Sikhs as members of AlQaeda.

The 9/11 a acks are a large part of the reason why Sikhs are o en portrayed negatively in the media. Reports show that Sikhs were the target of multiple hate crimes following the a ack simply for wearing the religious turban and having a long beard. Along with acts of hate and racism, Sikhs are o en the target of miseducation by the media. Following the shooting at a Sikh temple in Wisconsin, Fox News Host Gregg Jarre asked a nephew of one of the victims if they had been and prior “anti-Semitic” a acks against the Sikh community. One CBS news story on Sikhs referred to them as “people of Middle Eastern origins.” Sikhs continue to face news reporters who are under-educated or simply misinformed about the religion and the Sikh appearance.

The image that the media has about Sikhs are in no way an accurate representation of the majority of Sikhs who are active, hard-working members of society.

Sikhs are warriors not terrorists; they are peacemakers not Al-Qaedans—Sikhs are doctors, teachers, musicians, writers— and this is exactly what “The Singh Proj-

ect” is created to show.

Hear Our Lions Roar: The Singh Project The Sikh community is in dire need of individuals who can create an accurate image of the Singh identity. This is exactly what photographers Amit and Naroop have done. By creating the project, they tell the public that Singhs cannot be boiled down to the narrow-minded views that some media outlets hold. Singhs are each unique in their talents, personalities and in their contributions to society. The project replaces the media’s depiction of Singhs as terrorists, extremists or Al-Qaedan’s with images of the everyday Singh that shows the true nature of the religion: brotherhood, oneness and community.

The Singh Project uses photography to show the beauty and art behind the Sikh man’s turban and beard. It shows the public that this image, the Singh uniform, is something to be understood, respected and—most importantly—something to be celebrated within any community!

“Through [Amit and Naroop’s] photography, they also aim to raise awareness on topics and issues that they feel passionate about. The Singh Project is close to their heart. A marriage of their faith and talent, it represents their identity as British born photographers and their Punjabi, Sikh roots.” www.desitoday.ca

Where did the idea for “The Singh Project” come from?

What is your relationship to the people who are featured?

The idea came from the rise in the popularity of the beard in mainstream culture.

We began to see that men of all races and ages were growing their beards as statement of their identity. It had become fashionable and cool.

We found this intriguing. Being Sikhs, the beard has always been an integral feature of the identity of a Sikh man. However, no had documented this is a modern way. So we thought why not show people how Sikh men wear their beards, and equally important, their turbans. For them its not for fashion. It’s part of who they are.

Some of the men we knew. One of the older men is my grandfather. Other men we saw at the temple, Sikh events and even just walking on the street. Now we have become friends with a lot of them.

How have people responded to the project?

Internationally the response has been phenomenal. Everybody wanted to know more about these men. The Singh Project has been featured in press all across Europe, America, and Asia. We have been totally blown away.

www.desitoday.ca

When is your next exhibition?

We’re planning an exhibition in Manhattan, New York, next year.

What surprised you the most when creating this project?

When creating it, at the beginning, a lot of men refused to take part. I think they didn’t see what we were trying to achieve with it. But once we had photographed a few men and could show the finished images to people we wanted to photograph, we were inundated with Sikh men who wanted to take part. But at the beginning it was hard.

Kickstarter funded the project. Without it we wouldn’t have been able to raise the money and put on our exhibition. So it has played a major role.

What can our readers expect from you in the future?

We are working on a number of different projects as well as the commissioned work we do for clients. Our projects are about highlighting issues or things we are interested in. Usually they take a few years to create, so look out for our next one soon!

Is there anything else you would like our readers to know about you two or the project?

We would like to bring The Singh Project to Canada, Vancouver and Toronto would be good cities to exhibit them. We’re looking for Canadian sponsors to work with on this as we know there is a big demand for the project to be shown in Canada.

How has Kickstarter contributed to your project?

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

31

DESI TODAY EXCLUSIVE

The Interview with Amit and Naroop

FEATURE

THE SINGHS OF TH Gurjeevan Singh Plahe - Student

Chaz Singh Fliy - Creative Director

Prabjyot Singh Mankoo - Trainee Architect

Jaspal Singh - I.T. Professional

Roop Singh - Sikh Storyteller

Pritpal Singh Ruprai - Doctor

The Brotherhood 32

OCT / NOV 2015

News With A Desi View

• The Warrior • The Believer of Oneness • The Turban • The Beard www.desitoday.ca

E SINGH PROJECT Sinbad Singh Phgura - Entertainer in music and film

Deewaan Singh - Songwriter & Music Producer

Asa Singh Kalsi - Highway Planner

Balbir Singh - Temple Volunteer

Daljit Singh Plahe - Watchmaker

Gurbir Singh - Polo Player & I.T. Professional

• Respect • Fearlessness • Strength • Devotion • Unity • Community • www.desitoday.ca

The “Singh.”

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

33

FEATURE reet Kaur

By Lakhp

Does the

Guru Granth Sahib Ji Describe

Depression?

With the recent peak in individuals being diagnosed with depression, people are eager to read up on any texts that describe or shed light on the disorder.

What’s interesting is that scholars have found instances in the Guru Granth Sahib Ji (written over 500 years ago) thatdo just that.

In 1699, Guru Gobind Singh Ji passed the gurghadi (guruship) onto the Guru Granth Sahib and Guru Khalsa Panth.

In doing so, we Sikhs now reference the Guru Granth Sahib as our spiritual guide and look to the Guru Khalsa Panth as our temporal guide.

In this light, many Sikhs may turn to the two guiding entities for help when facing depression or other mental illness.

For instance, the Guru Granth Sahib can be referenced for solace and spiritual guidance. In tandem, drawing on the Guru Khalsa Panth can include seeking help from others (i.e.: health professionals) and being in sangat to sing kirtan, do seva, build community, and develop social resilience (all helpful in fighting depression).

In the paper, Does Guru Granth Sahib Describe Depression (2013) by Gulvinder Kalra, Kamaldeep Bhui, and Dinesh Bhugra, the authors write that the Guru Granth Sahib very clearly addresses depression: its causes, symptoms, and healing methods.

“The Sikh holy scripture explicitly discusses sadness and depression (dukh) using many metaphors… we elaborate on the phenomenology of depression as understood in modern terminology that

34

OCT / NOV 2015

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has been described in the Guru Granth Sahib,” they write.

The authors find that negative paradigms that many people experience when depressed are highlight by the Gurus.

“The text also mentions that the afflicted mind (muhn¬bhulo) may harbor negative thoughts (vikar)… The negative outlook of the depressive is evident in line 1 of 10 which states that the sick person perceives everyone else as sick, while to the happy person, everyone else seems happy, and also that for the depressed, colors may appear faded and washed away.”

Furthermore, other symptoms and behavioral changes that are currently associated with depression by today’s medical professionals are also described in the Guru’s writings the authors conclude. “Weeping (rona) and loss of sleep (neend) and appetite have been mentioned as symptoms of sadness seen after the person is separated from the Lord , as is heaviness on the head (sir aaveybhaar).

The tongue is said to lose all tastes in the absence of the name of the Lord; all tastes (saad) are perceived as insipid and bland (fika). In the absence of the Lord, one becomes dukhi, so it can be interpreted that loss of taste is mentioned as a symptom of dukh. The afflicted person may also have poor self¬care and may be dressed in filthy cloths (maileyveis). A reference to hopelessness as a symptom probably is reflected in the following line: In front of me, I see the jungle burning; behind me, I see green plants sprouting.”

The authors then go to point that the Gurus wrote about the therapeutic effect

of naam japan (meditation/simran).

It is interesting to note that in a culture and society which is dismissive of depression and stigmatizes it, the Gurus found it necessary to address it as they presumably saw it afflicting a lot of people.

“The text enumerates many ways of praying (pujaa, bhagti) the Lord, some of which include: Ardaas (prayer), shabadandkirtan (holy songs), naam¬jaap (chanting the Name), oostuht (praise the Lord), listening to saakhi (Guru’s teachings), gurbani (Guru’s words), and upadeis (teachings). It notes that grief gets resolved by coming to the sanctuary of the parbrahma (sanctuary here may refer to any holy place). For a more long-¬term control and management of depression, the text recommends remembering (simran) and praising the Lord and staying in his sanctuary (raamki saran).”

We all know that remembering Waheguru is essential to our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health, but what does it actually mean? How does one do that?

Whatever the answers may be to these questions, people suffering depression may opt to read the holy scripture to gain some answers of their own. Sikhs and non-Sikhs around the world are now turning to Guru Grant Sahib Ji as both a resource for information on the religion as well as a resource for insight on how to cope with this life-altering mental illness. (www.kaurlife.org)

www.desitoday.ca

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778-565-5000 OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

53

FEATURE

by Det. Jag Khosa

Combined Forces Special Enforcement Unit

MYTHS AND REALITIES OF

DRUG DISTRIBUTION NETWORKS

W

orking as a police officer, I have encountered many youth who are misguided and who choose to believe the countless myths about the realities of gang life, as opposed to facing the truth.

The common misconception is that it a life limitless wealth, fancy cars, and beautiful women. All of which can be very appealing to some. However, due to these assumptions, many young people head down this path without seeing the warning signs that this lifestyle ultimately will have them end up in jail or cost them their life.

The glamourized lifestyle that is portrayed in television and film, as well as the news, is far from the truth. TV and movies fail to accurately depict the horrors that 36

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A DESI View

are also inherent. You will never see on screen the fear and paranoia that plagues gangsters who have go en themselves in too deep and know that the only way out is an inevitable death.

I have said previously that a gang problem does, in fact, exist in our community and I have outlined the various ways in which parents can inform their children about the dangers of gang life at a very early age. I strongly believe prevention is the key. We must take the initiative to educate ourselves and spread awareness among others and share the appropriate knowledge with our children to deter them from the lure of organized crime and the gang lifestyle.

This article will be the first in a new series that is geared towards discrediting

one myth at a time.

MYTH: Selling or transporting a “li le bit” of drugs isn’t a big deal and by doing so one can make lots of money.

Most people have an inflated idea of how much money gangsters make. The media contributes to this misconception, highlighting the glamorous aspect of the gang lifestyle by utilizing images of expensive vehicles, designer clothing, and access to trendy spots in our cities to further bolster the image. It is not surprising that much of the music being listened to by kids contains the same sort of message.

Unfortunately, lack of public information about the true internal working models of gangs allows this myth to flourish. www.desitoday.ca

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Sapphire brings a new dining experience that pairs a contemporary design paired with the foods you remember eating in India. What is sure spark interest in every customer is that Sapphire prepares everything fresh right in the restaurant. Nothing is from a can. Sapphire does not use canned tomatoes, does not use canned garlic paste—none of it—even the ingredients for the spices are ground up right in the kitchen! Each ingredient for each part of every recipe is brought in fresh and prepared, chopped and served right inside Sapphire. Yes, it’s laboursome but the policy for Sapphire is no short cuts. The outcome is the most delicious, fresh, flavour-enriched dishes.

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Gurminder Behniwal

REALITY: Majority of gangsters actually do not have the money they pretend to have. To achieve a high status when climbing from the bottom does not come without paying dues.

During the course of this progression, many low-level gangsters, or associates of gangsters for that matter, are abused physically and mentally by those above them. It is important to note that high-level gangsters are in no way exempt from this abuse, however, the real struggles of recent recruits often go unrecognized as they do not make the headlines.

A street-level drug dealer, or “runner”, may be able to cash up to several hundred dollars per night. However, he or she constantly runs the risk of getting arrested and charged with possession or trafficking of a controlled substance.. Dealing drugs is not a part-time job and it is definitely not worth living life with a criminal record. Street-level distributors often have their products confiscated by the police or other drug networks. If the runner were to lose his product, he would be indebted to the boss for the cost of that supply. A shortfall during the end of a shift payment is merely one of the ways to experience immense physical abuse from the boss (commonly known as the “food boss”). It is quite common for workers to be “jacked”, or robbed, by members of their own crew and their boss so they end up owing money.

Street-level dealers are considered “disposable”. Their bosses are not obligated to “back up” the street runners who fail to perform their assigned duty. If caught by police, these runners will have to pay for their own legal support. This is often when people realize that they really don’t have any friends in this lifestyle and their so-called “brothers” or “sisters”, are really only out for themselves.

A typical dial-a-dope operation crudely mirrors a pizza delivery system. Before cell phones, drug dealers used to rely on regular customers and maintained a fixed route where substances would be available. Nowadays, customers are constantly in flux and the competition with / NOV 2015 38 OCT News With A Desi View

other dealers is tough. With the help of new technology, suppliers and consumers are able to cross paths more easily by exchanging contact information. Just as one would pick up the phone to order a pizza, customers will call the drug line to order their drug of choice. Sometimes, a particular gang will have more than one “line” under their operation. Children as young as 13-years-old work for those who manage the distribution houses. And the age of these children being exploited continues to get younger. Drug exchanges happen very quickly. It is possible to witness a hand-to-hand exchange as one car pulls up to another and makes a quick stop. Another scenario could result in an individual physically entering another car and being dropped off minutes later. These drug transactions may occur during all hours of the day. Such scenes can be witnessed within public places such as parking lots, malls, busy neighbourhoods and in some cases, even on school grounds. Through changing times, the delivery and ordering systems has changed. However, one thing has remained constant and that is the immense risk these individuals partake for being involved in drug business, for they are on the front lines of the war between gangs.

Consequently, the drug and gang landscape has changed. To maintain power within a highly complex and interconnected network, there are specific areas allotted for distribution that fall under the authority of a particular gang. As efficient as this territorial system may seem, in actuality, this paved the way for the emergence of turf wars where gangsters used violent means to retain or regain their territory.

An individual who believes that he is merely a drug runner and denies association with a formal gang is wrong. It is an illusion that street-level drug distributors cannot be considered gangsters of some kind. In reality, drugs and gangs go handin-hand. The majority of gangs or organized crime groups extract money from the drug trade, with the exception of a few who focus on online gambling, prostitution, human trafficking, and extortion.

“Gangs, and their success, are predicated on myths and people believing them.

All too often we see young men and women

sucked into the gang lifestyle because they have believed the lies and have been manipulated,” says the CFSEU-BC’s Staff Sergeant Lindsey Houghton. “We all need to play a role in dispelling the myths of gangs if we are to have any success against them.”

In my experience dealing with youth, I found they could not see or foresee any danger associated with their business, that being selling drugs. In their minds, because they were regularly provided with products (drugs), carried cell phones, retained regular and familiar contacts, and had their own means of transportation, and they held the power and maintained autonomy. What they appeared ignorant or oblivious to was that in the business of the drug trade, power players end up dead, as a result of execution-style shootings where front-line drug runners get taken out by rival gang members, or even betrayed by their gang associates... those they mistakenly believed were their friends and who would look out for them.

Emphasis has always been on acquiring money, control, and turf. Execution style shootings are also carried out to send a clear message to rival gangs about who owns a particular territory. Despite an individual’s rank within a gang or organization, no one is immune to the brazen violence. By nature of the trade, a gangster will always be looking over his shoulder, living in a constant state of paranoia.

What most teenagers fail to understand is that everything they earn via the drug trade comes at a steep price. To maintain their standing or advance within the gang, a large portion of that money goes towards legal fees and debt to other gang members, as well expensive clothing to continue the illusion of wealth, cost of luxury vehicles, and showing off to a vast social network by spending money on alcohol and VIP service at nightclubs, and throwing lavish parties. Very little money is saved at the end of the day, and not being able to pay when debt is being collected can result in the loss of life. To pay back for the shortage at the end of a shift would mean “getting taxed,” a term used to foreshadow mental or physical punishment that would be imposed on a worker.

There have been many documented cases where managers or the “food bosses” exert www.desitoday.ca

physical force and severely beat the runners for losing product. Many of these cases have involved a runner’s finger being cut off and hours of beatings. There are countless incidents where youth have been kidnapped, tortured and threatened at a gunpoint, simply because runners have lost the product to police or rival gang members. To top it off. even if some manage to keep some of their ill-gotten gains, they have no legitimate place to keep their money.

Many aspects of street-level drug dealing can appear enticing, seemingly safe with little risk and high reward. It is a misconception by young runners that they are able to acquire a lot of money during a short period of time without exerting much effort. But because drug dealers have no loyalty towards one another, if the situation requires one to save their own life, these gang members will turn on each other in the blink of an eye. We have seen kids as young as 17 and 18-years-old murdered for being “just a drug dealer”.

What you do as a parent, a sibling, or a guardian I strongly suggest parents keep informed of their children’s daily activities, whether it is school or work. Time and time again, children commonly lie about their jobs to their parents. We have heard stories about many runners who tell their parents that they are helping with their friend’s family business or that they work as a security guard to explain their absence during the day or most of the night.

The excuses are endless, but the reality can become quickly obvious if you pay attention as a parent. One indicator that your child may be generating income from an illegal source is unexplained cash.

If you witness your child carrying hefty amounts of cash or find bundles of money in your home, it is in your best interest to ask where it came from. Another sign that your child may be involved in this business is short trips being made at all hours in the day as drug transactions happen fairly quickly and often during the day.

Multiple cell phones are also noteworthy and may be an indicator that your child is involved in some sort of illegal activity.

Even though these are strong indicators, one should always use caution before jumping to conclusions. Sometimes, www.desitoday.ca

a young person can exhibit one of these signs and is simply being a teenager. However, a combination of these indicators can be treated as a clear warning sign.

I am not encouraging parents to become suspicious of their child’s every action or spy on them. Parents also need to trust their children and provide space as necessary during their teenage years so they grow into confident and independent adults. However, it is very important and critical to know where your child is at any given time and the type of activities or work that they engage in. The ideal way to become aware of various aspects of your child’s life is not to dedicate your time to keeping tabs on what they are doing , but rather letting them come to you, showing them support, and engaging in positive two-way communication. Trust is an essential factor that leads to open communication. It is important to make your child feel safe and important. An active role and awareness is important to prevent your child from falling prey to the lures of organized crime.

For more information on gang prevention please visit endganglife.ca

by Det. Jag Khosa Combined Forces Special Enforcement Unit For the last 10 years, he has been serving as a Police officer starting as an enforcement officer in Alberta and BC, and then transitioning into hiscurrent role as a Detective with Organized Crime Agency of BC which operates under the umbrella of Combined Forces Special Enforcement Unit - BC (CFSEU-BC).

At CFSEU, he had an opportunity be part of many major case investigations relating to homicides, international drug trafficking, weapons trafficking and other activities of organized crime groups. These projects were aimed at disrupting and suppressing gangs and organized crime groups across Canada. On the enforcement side, CFSEU-BC has been doing a great job in investigating and hindering movement of these violent Organized Gangs however there has been a void in raising awareness against gang lifestyle. Now he feels this is the right time to raise public awareness and educate parents and youth with knowledge and the appropriate skills that they could use in their own journey towards happy families and safer communities.

He believes that it is imperative to spread the message that we as a community can take an active role at a preventative stage and no one has to fight this battle alone. Turning around a misguided young person starts with one-on-one intervention. Parents who become involved with their child’s life from an early age had a higher chance of keeping their young ones away from negative influence of gangs. This article is his attempt to initiate a dialogue on a subject that has not been widely discussed.

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

39

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FEATURE

Diwali:

By Suresh

Millenniums ago, people of Ayoddhya welcomed Lord Vishnu-incarnate Rama, Lakshmi-incarnate Sita and Sheshnagincarnate Lakshmana back to their hometown. This homecoming was long awaited and felt like a divine cloudburst of ecstasy.

The day had come after fourteen years of separation-grief resulting from their exile plotted by Rama and Lakshmana’s step mother Kakaiyi.

Citizens literally poured their hearts out when they received them. They illuminated the entire city with rows upon rows of clay lamps (Diwali or Deepavali). They sang and danced their hearts out in their love and distributed sweets. For us Diwali is the anniversary celebration of that precious homecoming.

Diwali comes sometime between the last week of October and the middle of November. Around this time of the year, the muddy rivers are crystal clear, fields are full of grain, skies are starlit and blue and weather is cooler and crispier while the nights are longer and darker.

Before the arrival of this festival of lamps, Hindu families and merchants, at least in India, thoroughly clean their houses that were taken over by spiders and all kinds of bugs over the monsoon season.

They disinfect them by white washing the wall with quick lime and painting doors and windowsills. They make them looking pretty to ensure that their living environment was clean enough for the goddess.

Another Diwali tradition that people in India kept alive was to replace the broken brass pots and pans. Getting a new brassware or something new for the kitchen used to be and still is an important part of the celebration, which my wife Tripta and

42

OCT / NOV 2015

News With A Desi View

I have attempt to continue even in Canada.

At least three days prior to the big day, sweet makers would start preparing sweets and stacking them up wall-to-wall.

They made so many sweets of so many varieties that children could only eat them through their eyes, as they are always bigger than their stomach.

Just as in North America, department stores load up chocolate bunnies and eggs before Easter, weeks, prior to Diwali in India, at least in my part of the country, shops specializing in molding sugar figurines, such as parrots, peacocks, cows, elephants, lions, would start molding them to eat with rice puffs. These figurines were always white, never coloured. I recall it used to be great fun to stand in front of those shops and watch figurine makers pour boiling hot syrup in the moulds placed in big trays filled with water. The smell of the boiling syrup used to make me salivate.

Toyshops were other attraction. The merchants would start stacking up stores with clay toys, nothing high tech in my childhood days. Potters sold two or three story clay temples to house the small idols of Lakshmi and Ganesha. Initially we bought a new clay temple every year. But then mom a committed environmentalist started saving them, refurbishing them and re-using them year after year, saving both money and clay.

The next most important preparation prior to sitting down for prayers was to make dozens of cotton wicks, soak them in oil filled clay lamps, light them and put them in every part of the house--inside, outside, on roof top of the house, in every nook and cranny, including latrines and

Kurl

garbage dump. No corner of the house was to be left dark. It used to be my job. It was lighting up the path to guide the goddess to land safely.

It was no Joe-job just because it was assigned to the youngest member of the family. Lighting them was a challenge, especially on a windy night on the rooftop.

I would just finish placing my glowing lamps on one edge of the roof and move on to other to make a similar row, but as soon as I would turn around to see how they looked, I would find that wind has already extinguished some of them. And I would have to start with them all over again. The next morning, when I would go to collect them I would find some of them completely dry and other full of oil. Even the night winds were selective. It allowed only a few to glow and gloat.

On one occasion, sitting in front of the clay temple with big idols of Lakshmi and Ganesha I noted the idol of Lord Vishnu missing. I had assumed that because he is the husband of goddess his idol had to be there next to her. It wasn’t. Instead there was the idol of Ganesha. I asked mom how come we do not pray to Vishnu on Dipavali and pray to Ganesha instead, who is the son of Lord Shiva and Parvati, not the son of Lakshmi and Vishnu.

Mom responded that Dipavali is Lakshmi day. But we also worship Ganesha because he is the god appointed by Brahma to be worshipped first before the start of every religious ceremony.

“How so?” I asked.

“Because he was the one who won the contest of who should be prayed to before the start of religious ceremonies.” And then she narrated the legend.

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FEATURE “Once gods started arguing about their hierarchy and who should be worshipped first. When they failed to reach an acceptable conclusion they approached Brahma to settle their dispute. Brahma looked around and said that who ever returns to him first after making a round of the entire universe would be worthy of being worshipped first.”

Well, there were gods who had fast running or flying animal-vehicles (vahanas). Surya had the fasted running horses, Indra had an elephant and so on…, but Ganesha only had a mouse. He could not win that race. However, he had a rather creative understanding of the universe. He believed that his mother and father put together was the entire universe. So, he approached them and asked them to sit sideby-side and then he made one easy circle around them on the back of his mouse and returned to Brahma and declared himself the winner while others were still huffing and puffing around the universe. When Brahma asked him how could he complete the round so fast? Ganesha offered him his views on the universe, which Brahma accepted and declared him the winner.”

There is another reason to worship Ganesha, she said, “Lakshmi is the goddess of wealth and Ganesha the god of wisdom.

Having wealth without having wisdom more often than not becomes a source of evil. Ganesha keeps us commited to our obligations -- Dharma (do only what is right and good), Artha (earning wealth to fulfill obligations), Kama (achieve righteous desires) and Moksha (attain liberation from births and deaths). The stuff she shared was much too heavy for my brains to bear, but it sure left its impressions on my memories.

Diwali is significant for Buddhists, Jains and Sikhs as well. Buddhists celebrate it, because Emperor Ashoka who ruled from 273 to 232 BC is said to have converted to Buddhism on this day to adhere to non-violence. Diwali is significant for Jains, because Lord Mahaveer, their last Holy Saint (Teerthankar) attained salvation (Kaivalya) on this day.

Sikhs popularly call Diwali, “BandiChhor-Divas,” the Freedom Day. This day, in 1619, their sixth spiritual leader, Guru Hargovind Sigh Ji was released from the Mogul Emperor Jahangir’s Prison. However, along with his own release, Guru Hargovind Singh Ji pled for the release of the 52 of his prince-followers as well. The Emperor agreed, but with a condition. The condition was that only those could hold onto his cloak-tail could leave. Guru Har-

44

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

gobind Ji had a cloak made with 52 strings attached to it so each prince could hold on to one string and leave the prison. And that’s what happened.

Diwali is the time of the year when new crops of rice and sugarcane arrive, and Lakshmi, being the tutelary goddess of agriculture, is worshipped with roasted paddy (kheel) and sugar puffs (batasha).

Hindus traditionally make an offering of every new crop to the gods and goddesses before they consume it.

It is also possible that the tradition of offering rice and sugar puffs started with someone who did not have enough money to purchase or make expensive sweets for the goddess; perhaps all he or she could afford were rice and sugar puffs. Whatever the reason might have been, the message is that whatever we offer will be acceptable to God provided it is offered with genuine devotion.

Diwali is the time of the year when new crops of rice and sugarcane arrive, and Lakshmi, being the tutelary goddess of agriculture, is worshipped with roasted paddy (kheel) and sugar puffs (batasha).

Hindus traditionally make an offering of every new crop to the gods and goddesses before they consume it.

It is also possible that the tradition of offering rice and sugar puffs started with someone who did not have enough money to purchase or make expensive sweets for the goddess; perhaps all he or she could afford were rice and sugar puffs. Whatever the reason might have been, the message is that whatever we offer will be acceptable to God provided it is offered with genuine devotion.

As Diwali is also the first day of the financial calendar, the merchants open new ledger books, write “Shree Ganeshaye Namah,” (we bow to Lord Ganesha), draw a Swastika, a symbol of fortune with index finger dipped in red liquid powder, and pray to Lakshmi and Ganesha. Then they make an offering of flowers, paddy crispy and sweets, distribute prasad, and thus start a new financial year. Because my dad was a small businessman he too would observe the same tradition.

Another Diwali custom that we did not practice was gambling. People gambled with playing cards or kauri shells. It started a few days before and continued a few days after the festival was over. Though the activity is legally prohibited, it is traditionally accepted. Every year, our neighbour Uncle Prem would assemble his friends for a game.

One night after prayers and dinner,

when we had gone to bed and were deep in sleep, a commotion woke us up. We heard people running around and attempting to climb our roof. Then we heard people yelling, “Police. Police.” With that warning we knew, who those people were and what they were up to? They were escaping the police. Then we heard a knock at our door.

My elder brother, Shashi got out of his bed and opened the door. A large bodied man wrapped in a dark blanket entered and jumped in his bed without hesitation. He did not utter a word; emptied his pocket and put the money under the pillow and pretended to be asleep. He stayed there until early morning and then left without saying a word, as though he was not only hiding from the police he was hiding from us as well.

After the stranger left, Shashi told mom that the man took some of his change as well. Mom advised him to speak with Uncle Prem about it. During the “uncle-nephew” cordial conversation Shashi found out that Bhaggo was the mystery man. We knew him. He lived a block away from us. Uncle Prem assured Shashi that he would get his money back, which he did with a little bonus. No one in our family gambled when we lived in Moradabad.

However, after we moved to Haridwar our maternal grandfather not only allowed gambling, he taught us how to play and participated in the game, but only once a year; on Diwali. Dad never did.

I recall use of fireworks and firecrackers was another tradition that society introduced as a part of Diwali celebrations. I remember how my classmate Murthi lost one of his eyes to firecrackers. Though it was not he who was playing with fire it was him who lost one of his eyes. I am so glad that the Vancouver City Police has successfully toned down this tradition in Vancouver.

Here is another Diwali related story that dad told me about my unbridled excitements. I was about a year old. Dad took me out to the market to show me the colourful lights. Well, when we returned dad told mom that those colourful bright lights made me so excited I beat on his face like a drum. I sure don’t remember it but this incident must have been a very memorable experience for my dad.

By Dr Suresh Kurl Dr. Suresh Kurl is a former university professor; a retired Registrar of the BC Benefits Appeal Board and a former Member of the National Parole Board.

www.desitoday.ca

LOVE & RELATIONSHIP

“Let ’s Meet for Coffee” Joti’s Advice Column

We’ve all had a problem or two (or seven) that we just need to get off our chest.

And what do we say when we have these overly stressful, life-altering situations that we must to talk over? Let’s meet for coffee! I now welcome you to my virtual coffee shop. Here I will answer some of your most pressing questions about life, love and anything in between.

ABOUT ME:

I’m a psychology and counselling student that’s not an expert, just a friend. I read about peoples’ problems every day, all day. Now I want to hear about yours.

Ask me anything! t

By Navjee

Dear Joti, I have recently moved to Surrey from California with my family and we have no family in the states or in B.C. I have no experience talking any older aunties and normally this wouldn’t be a problem but my whole family is visiting my mom’s family India in December for a wedding and my mom says that I need to impress all my aunties. I’m really nervous about this wedding and don’t want to look like the shy girl who doesn’t talk and be judged by these aunties and my mom’s family. They only met me when I was very young, and I haven’t met them since then.

But I don’t know what I will talk about with them. I was wondering if I could get any ideas/advice on how to effectively / NOV 2015 46 OCT News With A Desi View

engage with them and what I could possibly talk about. Thanks for all your help.

Compliment the aunties. Ask the aunties about their kids. Agree with the aunties. Talk about their suits. Ask them if its karebh sheen and rub the fabric with your fingers. Eat the food they offer. Sometimes aunties will judge you whether you speak to them or not and sometimes they’ll love you simply for being your mom’s daughter. When in doubt smile, nod and say hunji. You’ll be a hit.

Wish you the best, xo Joti Dear Joti, I have always been very close with my Pooaji (my dad’s sister) but my mom

a (Joti) Bajw

and my Pooaji hate each other. Lately, my mom and I have been fighting more and more and the fights always end with “you’re exactly like your Pooa.” I don’t know what to do. I’ve asked both of them why they fight all the time and neither one of them will tell me. Some days I feel like if I distance myself from my pooa, my mom and I will get along a lot better. But I love my pooa. What do I do? I can stand all the fighting anymore.

Its immature of your mom to say things like that during fights! If you distance yourself from your Pooa you’re giving your mom what she wants and you will be rewarding her bad behaviour. You need to stand your ground on how you are your www.desitoday.ca

pose a question to you: have you been putting in effort in meeting someone?

Lots of girls will wait around for a guy to come into their lives and leave it all up to luck but this is time consuming and it can be ineffective. Everything in life requires work: you want a good career? You work towards it. You want a relationship? You also have to work towards it. What you’ve been doing so far hasn’t yielded good results so it’s time to change things up.

Make yourself approachable, make new friends, and find new hobbies. Also try out online dating; there’s a huge stigma against finding people online but there are lots of people that don’t have the time to go out and find people. These could be career-orientated people like yourself that you may have more in common with.

Increase your chances of finding someone and you may just strike gold. Wish you the best, Joti.

Dear Joti, I have a friend who always brags about everything her boyfriend does. Any gifts he’ll get her, any gestures he makes for her, she’ll have to remind us about it over and over and over again. Sometimes I feel like she says it just to say that her boyfriend is better than ours. Should I say something or just ignore it?

own person and you can be close to whoever you want. Sit your mom down and let her know that it hurts you when she says things like that during fights. Let her know that whatever beef she has with her sister in law is affecting her relationship with her own daughter. I guarantee you she won’t want her to have that kind of power; this could be an eye-opener for her. She needs to either bury the hatchet with your Pooa for everyone’s benefit or keep her opinions about your Pooa to herself. Wish you the best, Joti.

Dear Joti, I have always thought of myself as a self-sufficient, self-reliant, super indewww.desitoday.ca

pendent woman. And I am one. But, I am 29-years-old and I’m still single and it’s really been bothering me lately. I’ll be 30 soon and all of my friends are married and sometimes I wish I had their lives.

I have a great job, great friends and a great family so I know I shouldn’t complain but sometimes I just wish I at least had a boyfriend and it’s really been bringing me down lately. What should I do?

It’s totally okay to be self-sufficient, self-reliant, super independent and also yearn to share your life with someone! I can understand that it must be hard to feel behind in terms of your love live compared to your friends. However, I’d like to

We all know someone like this. It’s important to get inside their head and to understand why they may do something like this.There is research that supports the finding that insecure and anxious people were more likely to brag about their relationships to others. Maybe she does want you to feel like her boyfriend is better so she can also believe it too. She’s using her friends as a sounding board so she can think “my friends think he’s the best boyfriend so it must be true.” She is either intentionally making her friends feel like they have inferior boyfriends or she lacks the self-awareness to realise that this is one of the consequences of her constant bragging. Knowing this, you could either just let her keep bragging about her relationship and giving her neutral responses as to not give her any more attention or you can have an honest and frank conversation with her. It’s hard to bring things up like this in friendships but it’s better to clear up a misunderstanding and get along rather than having of all her friends being annoyed with her.

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

47

LOVE & RELATIONSHIP When you fight you will say hurtful things. These things can never be forgotten.

The next morning you will always regret saying these things. The next morning, you will wake up not angry with them anymore but the things can never be unsaid. So when you are fighting, try to put yourself in the mind of the “you” you will be come next morning.

Always act like it’s the next morning. My husband and I have been doing this for 30 years.

“Don’t get a divorce”

“The more quiet you are, the less your wife will scold you”

“You have the option of a love marriage. We did not. So be very careful with your choice.”

While you are young, do fun things with your spouse. Do crazy things. Do stupid things. Do beautiful things.

When you are old, it will be these memories you get to remember.

“Every day I see our people doing seyva for their community, for their elders, for everyone but their spouses. The secret to my marriage is I do seyva for my wife every day.

“If you act like your husband’s servant, he will treat you like his servant”

Talk to your spouse like they are poetry.

Fight with them like they are poetry.

“I think if I did not drink alcohol, I could give my wife the perfect marriage. But I can’t do it. My demons will eat up the best parts of me. And my wife has to suffer.

My marriage advice: please don’t drink alcohol.

Marriage Advice

from 50+ Year old Couples n

by Parvee Compiled

48

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

Sohal

We asked couples who have been married for at least 50 years for any words of advice they could give younger couples on marriage.

Translated.

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HEALTH & WELLNESS

Canada Needs a National Pharmacare Plan Health care in Canada is delivered through a publicly funded Health Care system, which is mostly free at the point of use and has most services provided by private entities. It is guided by the provisions of the Canadian Health Act of 1984, which came in to effect by Vision & Lobbying of Tommy Douglas. The government assures the quality of care through federal standards. The government does not participate in day-to-day care or collect any information about an individual’s health, which remains confidential between a person and his or her physician. Canada’s provincially based Medicare systems are cost-effective partly because of their administrative simplicity.

In each province, each doctor handles the insurance claim against the provincial insurer. There is no need for the person who accesses health care to be involved in billing and reclaim. Private health expenditure accounts for 30% of health care financing.

The Canada Health Act does not cover prescription drugs, home care or longterm care, prescription glasses or dental care, which means most Canadians pay out-of-pocket for these services There are several other countries providing Universal Health Care Such as Singapore , Hong Kong, Switzerland , Australia, New Zealand , Ireland , Mauritius , Denmark & Chile All these countries also have a National Medication or Pharmacare program, it is only CANADA Which has a Universal health care but no a Universal Pharmacare Demand appears to be growing for a national pharmacare plan covering pre50

OCT / NOV 2015

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scription drugs costs for all Canadians.

And no wonder.

High prices are forcing a troubling number of households to avoid filling prescriptions, and even more are resorting to steps such as skipping doses or splitting pills in an effort to make medicine last longer.

It’s evidence that thousands of Canadians are risking aggravated illness and needless suffering because they can’t afford the rising price of drugs. That’s a troubling gap in our health system. And it shouldn’t have to be this way.

A study released Earlier this Year , The Future of Drug Coverage in Canada, makes a compelling case for expanding our universal public health care system to include the cost of prescription medicines.

Not only would a national pharmacare program ensure that all Canadians have access to drugs they need, it would save billions of dollars. Authored by six health policy experts, the study was published by the Pharmaceutical Policy Research Collaboration at the University of British Columbia.

“Full implementation by 2020 is both desirable and feasible,” researchers concluded. “Canada has been waiting for pharmacare since the 1960s.”

The provinces are aware of what’s needed and Ontario Health Minister Eric Hoskins, in particular, has been pressing hard to put pharmacare on the national agenda. What’s lacking is bold federal leadership.

Canadians appear strongly supportive. A recent poll by the Angus Reid Institute found that more than 90 per cent of Canadians back the concept of pharma-

care.

The Survey also revealed that more than one-in-five Canadians say that they themselves or someone in their household resorted to saving money this past year by not buying drugs ordered by a doctor or by skimping on doses. That’s a prescription for ill health.

The existing system is ridiculously expensive for all concerned, including governments. Other countries achieve lower drug costs by purchasing medicine through a single, national buyer of pharmaceuticals. Canada, in contrast, funds drugs through a hodgepodge of private plans and disjointed federal, provincial and territorial systems that still leave many people paying out-of-pocket.

It’s estimated that one-in-five households spend $500 or more on prescription medicine annually. And about 7 per cent pay more than $1,000 each year.

This occurs because many Canadians aren’t covered by workplace drug insurance plans. And those who are, commonly face extra charges such as deductibles and prescription co-payments.

Pharmacare is the answer. Potential savings from bulk-buying through a single system are substantial. The study’s authors cited the example of Lipitor. A year’s supply of this brand name cholesterol-lowering drug costs at least $811 in Canada, according to the report. In New Zealand, where a public authority negotiates prices for the entire country, it’s $15.

“In terms of drug prices, Canada’s multipayer system is among the most expensive in the world,” they conclude.

Various studies have pegged Canadawide savings from national pharmacare at between $4 billion and $11 billion per www.desitoday.ca

Dr Pargat Singh Bhurji MD,FRCP ( C ) Consultant Pediatrician Surrey BC

WE SPECIALISE

year, depending on how the program is structured. That’s based on savings seen internationally.

Canada is, in fact, the only country with a universal health care system that doesn’t also cover the cost of prescription medicine.

Administration costs represent another burden. Authors of the report note that every public and private drug plan operating in this country spends money on revenue collection, claims management and other bureaucratic functions.

Savings from ending this duplication alone were valued at between $1 billion and $2 billion.

The March Issue of Canadian Medical Association Journal researchers say the extra total cost to government of providing universal pharmacare could range as high as $5.4 billion a year, but would likely be about $1 billion, depending on exactly how much can be saved through bulk purchases of medications and other measures.

At the same time, it would save the private sector the $8.2 billion annually it spends on prescription drugs, mainly through employee health plans.

Saving ‘billions of dollars’ “When we did the analysis, we were, at first, a little bit surprised,” said study author Steven Morgan, a professor of health policy at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver. “Wow. Canada can really save billions of dollars by covering everybody for virtually every drug?

And then we started The strongest argument for pharmacare, however, doesn’t concern the money it would save. It’s about giving all Canadians fair and equitable access to medicines they need — drugs that work to keep them healthy, ease their pain, and save their lives. Until that’s done the promise of Canada’s publicly-funded health care system will remain only partially delivered.

With the Recent Election the main Issue being Economy, we should also focus on Need for A Universal Pharmacare, which in Reality is a do able thing

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Dr. Karim Kanani

Certificate in Pediatric Dentistry

Dr. Diya Chadha

Certified Specialist in Pediatric Dentistry

TRICK -ORTREAT BUT SAVE YOUR TEETH!

MUST-KNOW INFO ABOUT YOUR KIDS’ ORAL HYGIENE SmileTown Dental Team’s guide to keeping your kids’ teeth as protected as possible this Halloween ’sIt the most frightening time of year for all dentists who treat children: Halloween! Nightmares fill our minds with images of angry red-eyed cavities and ghost-like plaque a acking the teeth of our beloved patients! We know Halloween is a time where parents share our fear and question the repercussions of eating mounds and mounds of sweets on their kids’ oral health. We’ll start by stating the obvious: candy and sweets are bad for your children’s teeth. Second obvious statement: kids are going to eat candy on Halloween!

We would never want to deprive children of the fun rituals of Halloween by telling them not to eat any candy (which kids would realistically never follow anyways), so we’ll give parents some tricks and tips to help their kids protect their teeth this Halloween! Kids will still enjoy their candy and parents can put a li le control on their enjoyment and reduce damage to their kids’ pearly whites: 1. Meals Bact eria create acid in our mouths by a acking sweets that we eat. Have your kids eat their candy with a meal. The saliva production from eating hearty foods helps decrease this acid a ack and helps rinse away food particles so they don’t remain stuck on our teeth and cause decay.

2. Brush, floss and rinse. Candy (especially sticky candy) can get stuck in between teeth and cause decay. Have your kids brush and floss right a er having their candy/meal to minimize this. Make sure your child’s tooth/ NOV 2015 52 OCT News With A DESI View

brush is changed every 3 months and that their toothpaste is a Canadian Dental Association-approved fluoride toothpaste. Also, have them rinse their mouth with a glass of water to ensure they wash away any remaining sugars and acids.

3. Avoid candy that stay in your mouth for a long time. The longer sugary foods remain in your mouth, the bigger risk for tooth decay. Have your kids avoid hard and sticky candy that will remain in their mouths for longer periods of time. Also, have kids alternate between sugar and sugar-free candies.

4. Visit your SmileTown dentist regularly: Regular visits prevent oral problems from occurring and also allow dentists to catch problems early on enough so treatment is easier for the patient.

Suite 430 - 4460 Beresford St., Burnaby, Next to Metrotown Skytrain Stn (604) 504-4258

Oral health is something that must be maintained all year round, starting from the birth of your child, and prevention is key. Tooth decay is the most common disease experienced by children. Some studies indicate that nearly half of all children under age six develop cavities. Decay can begin as soon as the first baby teeth erupt (usually at 5–9 months).

By following a few simple guidelines, you can significantly decrease the possibility of cavities in your young child.

Pre-natal prevention: The best time to defeat cavities in children is before they are even born. Remember that your health, especially your oral health, directly affects your baby. Expectant mothers should: - Brush and floss every day Chew gum with xylitol (it can reduce the bacteria that causes cavities) Prevention in infants: - Avoid sugary drinks, such as juice, soda and sports drinks - Wipe baby’s gums and teeth a er feedings and before sleep to discourage the growth of bacteria in the mouth Help your child brush - Supervise your child’s brushing by le ing them go first and then following up to make sure they haven’t missed any hard to reach areas. - Make sure your child brushes before bedtime Decay: What to look for - The first sign of decay is a white spot (o en at the gum line on the upper front teeth) - Brown spots indicate more advanced decay At SmileTown Dentistry, we are happy to review good eating habits with you at your child’s appointment. Our goal is to educate parents so they can implement strategies in their home to keep their children healthy and cavity free!

We wish you all a safe and Happy Halloween from the SmileTown Dentistry team!

Unit 111 - 7511 120th Street, Delta (604) 607-1631

Unit 110 - 20780 Willoughby Town Centre Dr., Langley (604) 857-5145

www.smiletowndentistry.com

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HAPPY DIWALI Protect those you love All throughout your life, you’ve accumulated various assets to ensure that your family enjoys the very best. But if you suddenly died, the fruits of your labour could disappear, along with the plans you had for your loved ones.

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BUSINESS & CAREER

hal

By Parveen So

Thoughts of close-knit, trust-filled family bonds are o en nothing but ancient memories for some Indian families.

The culprit? Land. Acres and acres of Punjabi property create a wedge between families that is as unbreakable as Earth they are fighting over. Family days filled with laughter and warm cha are replaced with lies, bi er feuds and lengthy legal ba les.

The story is quite similar for many first-generation immigrants coming from Punjab to India in the 1960’s: Punjabi men working long hours in labor jobs to overcome financial hardship and create stability for their families. While they racked in cash on the work grind, they also accumulated large sums of money without li ing a finger: from their land.

Any given twenty acre of farmland that was purchased in Punjab in the 1960’s at the cost of about $47,000 in one of India’s prime agricultural areas is now estimated to be worth 10 times that. Let that sink in for a moment. These families see $47,000 turning into almost half a million dollars. With many families purchasing larger areas of land or land in more prominent places, land in Punjab can easily now be worth well over a million dollars.

The fantasy would be that families would be overjoyed with the idea of each member receiving some extra money.

The reality: the feuds begin. With some families, this means the beginning of back-door-deals, manipulations, briberies and cut-throat tactics take over the family land. / NOV 2015 54 OCT News With A DESI View

We asked 80 families to anonymously answer questions about their family history. Over 50% admit they have had at least one disagreement over land with a family member. 11% reveal that they have cut all ties with a member of their family due to a property dispute.

This means that for every 10 Indian members you see walking down the street, at least one of them has stopped speaking to their brother, cousin, father because of property in India.

This is an astounding finding even for the most pessimistic reader.

What these families need to do is understand the absurdity in cu ing family ties for money and prosperity. We found that generations upon generations of children are forced not to speak to one another due to a disagreement on dividing up pieces of land. Weddings are missed, funerals are overlooked, cousins never meet, all because of pe iness and greed.

The disagreements go much further than verbal disputes. We see case a er case of family members a acking and murdering each other over property. 45-year-old Bhupinder Singh was shot multiple times by his own brother, Narinder Singh, over property disagreements; a clash between Baljinder Kaur and her two sisters-in-law over 27 acres of land resulted in the brutal death of 46-year-old Harinder Singh Sran; 70-yearold Damman Singh was chopped to death by his own son, Talwinder Singh, and his servants over the distribution of his 16acre property.

For as long as Indo-Canadians choose greed and unethical tactics over family and togetherness, it seems issues like this may always exist. Whether it be arguments and broken ties or bloodshed and irreversible a acks, land disputes will continue to be a pressing issue in our community unless measures are taken to not allow property arguments to break families apart. We understand that disagreements will always happen (especially when large amounts of money are concerned) but we do not think it has tot lead to broken family ties.

Here is what we suggest: 1. Hire a mediator, not a lawyer: In cases where a third party is absolutely necessary, do not hire a lawyer. Hire a mediator who will sit down with both parties and act as a single unbiased decision maker for the families 2. Look at the long-term: The elderly Punjabi members we spoke to talked greatly about regre ing being a part of pe y fights but not realizing it until much later “I’d rather have my brother be at my funeral than be across from me at my court dates” 3. When it Doubt, Equal out: If there is ever and disagreement about who “deserves” more land within a family, the absolute best thing to do is to divide it equally. Regardless of outside factors, each member of the family should obtain an equal share of the family property.

If you’re forced to decide: losing family soil vs. losing family blood, what will you choose? www.desitoday.ca

BUSINESS & CAREER

KEY FACTORS that successfully helped me go from welfare to work

ha

By Alex Sang

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Alex Sangha’s Tell-All Many people often ask me how did I not only go from welfare to work, but in doing so end up with a great career that I love? I started to reflect on this and came up with five key factors in my life that led to my current situation. I am writing this article for the sole purpose of inspiring and helping people who feel trapped in the system and feel there is no escape.

First, I would like to state that I am grateful to live in a country like Canada which has income and disability support programs to help people when they have no other means. I have to admit it is very difficult to make sudden profound changes in your life when the support and shelter allowance is a bare sustenance level.

Nonetheless, I believe every human being has the potential to make the most of their opportunities in this great land including those living in poverty.

Factor #1 – Stable Affordable Housing The most important factor was finding stable housing that I could afford.

A home provides the foundation upon which to start building and improving your life. Not surprisingly, I am concerned the lack of affordable housing in Vancouver may lead to a cycle of chronic poverty for many people. This may lead to a potentially huge loss of innovation, new ideas, and injection of raw talent into the work world.

Factor #2 – Build A Social Support Network The next major factor was creating a social support network around me that was full of my well-wishers. This included members of my family, friends, as well as professionals I saw regularly. You need to remove the negative toxic people in your entire social environment. I feel they will only stall your success. I even had a mentor who I had coffee with every week. I recommend you get out there and seek someone to help you. Do not do this alone. Everyone needs someone who believes in them. This will provide you with the motivation and momentum to facilitate change, as well as a short-term and long-term path or direction and guidance.

Factor #3 – Change Your Approach To Welfare Being on welfare and living in povwww.desitoday.ca

erty takes its toll on your self-esteem and self-confidence. People look down upon you and think you’re a burden to society.

I had to change my whole mental attitude and approach to being a welfare recipient. I no longer seen myself as a victim. I convinced myself that I had the abilities, skills, and knowledge to succeed in society. I also no longer felt entitled to welfare. I felt fortunate to live in a country that provided it. I could have easily been born somewhere else like billions of other souls and possibly have no one to rely on but myself. I accepted that the mandate and purpose of the income support program was to help people to become independent. This was a shift in my thinking because from a theoretical perspective I have always supported a guaranteed annual income for the needy.

Factor #4 – Brush Up On Your Practical Skills In addition, I started to brush up on my practical skills and make the most of the time I had while I was unemployed.

I did volunteer work, took education and training courses, and obtained a leisure access pass to exercise and go to the pool and live a more healthy and well-balanced lifestyle. I even published a book that ended up being a finalist in a well-known book awards competition. Furthermore, I was lucky because I was on disability income (PWD) as I live with a number of chronic conditions and this meant that I could attend school and even start a business. I did both and could start to see the

light at the end of the tunnel.

Factor #5 – Follow Through With Your Plan My real career door opener was completing a Master of Social Work degree which I did entirely online from home to save money and minimize my student loans. The volunteer work I was doing with a number of organizations, some of which I founded, made me socially more alert and skilled in communications and knowledgeable about local resources and job opportunities. So what was the end result? Even before I graduated, I landed a professional job as a social worker with a health authority. It was just a casual position but I got my foot in the door.

Within a few months I applied for an internal position and was the successful candidate. I work full time now in a great job helping seniors with mental health challenges and dementia and Alzheimer’s in the community.

So what’s the bottom line?

Make sure you can adapt to change.

Position yourself to be ready when opportunities arrive in order to succeed.

Have a plan and support system and take care of yourself and watch the changes in your life unfold.

Alex Sangha is an award winning author and social worker based in Surrey, B.C. His social discussion book, Catalyst, was a Finalist in the Current Events and Social Change category of the Next Generation Indie Book Awards for 2014. For more information check out http://alexsangha.com OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

57

BEAUTY & ENTERTAINMENT Twirling lehengas and floor-sweeping anarkalis continue to attract would-be brides. But the dhoti skirt, a silhouette that reflects both the traditional and contemporary aesthetics, is also becoming a hot favourite this wedding season in India, especially for pre-wedding celebrations, say designers.

A dhoti is typically worn by Indian men, and over the years, designers have fused it with western silhouettes to bring out the now globally popular dhoti pants.

A dhoti skirt, for women, is an interpretation which has found prominence of late.

Designer Anita Dongre has launched her latest bridal collection, ‘The Wedding Diaries’; an album of memories of the modern-day bride. While the bespoke bridal couture looks feature lehengas, gowns and anarkalis, there is also a pink dhoti skirt to be paired with a bandi.

“A dhoti skirt is a fresh approach to classic skirts with its draped silhouette.

This traditional yet funky option is extremely versatile and can be worn with a short tunic, crop top, bandi or even a trendy asymmetrical jacket,” Dongre told IANS. Dongre, who will be presenting the collection at The Vogue Wedding Show in partnership with the Taj Group, to be held from Friday to Sunday at the Taj Palace, New Delhi, also shared that though the trend is versatile and can be carried off by women of any age group, “women

Move Over Lehengas & Anarkalis, The Newest Trend:

Dhoti Skirts!

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Some treatments Basma performed on her clients www.desitoday.ca

between the 22 and 28 age bracket mainly have been seen sporting this trend, more so in Mumbai across all professions”.

National Award-winning costume designer and stylist Niharika Khan also agrees that people are “willing to experiment”, and that dhoti skirt is a good option.

“You can style it with a cape or jacket.

You can wear it with a chunni on top and a choli. There’s a lot of fun and play you can have and still look feminine in it,” said Khan, who designed costumes for Yash Raj Films’ “Band Baaja Baaraat”.

Fashion designer Anju Modi believes that nowadays unisex concepts in fashion are gaining ground and dhoti skirts “too fall in this bracket”.

“It is a silhouette that reflects both the traditional and contemporary aesthetics.

It’s sexy, comfortable ... and I feel that it is the personality that should be better matched to pull off such a strong and standout look,” added the designer, who has worked on the costumes for Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s “Bajirao Mastani”.

“On a lighter note, till now it’s all about who is wearing the pants in the house, but it will now also be who is wearing the dhoti,” she quipped.

According to Modi, any woman with a “confident demeanour would easily slip into the dhoti skirts, irrespective of the region or the profession”.

Anaita Shroff Adajania, fashion director, Vogue India, has also given thumbs up to the trend.

“It’s a fun take on the skirt, works well with a kurta for a light mehendi or lunch.

Its streamline silhouette adds length to your look. Add quirky jewellery to keep the boho mood alive,” suggests Adajania.

As the designers have given the green signal to the look, even some young would-be brides are happy to incorporate it in their wedding ceremonies, as indicated by a random survey done by IANS. Ranjita Singh, 24, said: “Wearing dupattas can be annoying at times, so a dhoti skirt with a traditional top is fun and goes well with the wedding ceremonies.

Maybe not on the wedding day, but on sangeet or mehendi day or pre-wedding parties would be fun.”

Another bride-to-be, Leena Manchanda, 28, said she found Sonam Kapoor’s dhoti look in “Abhitoh party shuru hui hai” song from “Khoobsurat” suitable if someone wanted to make a unique style statement at an event, when all eyes would be on you.

- IANS

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

59

BEAUTY & ENTERTAINMENT By

1

Harj Mahal

MAKEUP TIPS:

How To Contour

STEP ONE: Apply a base. Start by applying foundation to your face. Liquid foundation would work best for highlight and contouring.

STEP TWO: Highlight. Use a 2 highlighting concealer a few

shades lighter than your foundation to highlight the areas on your face. Highlight under your eyes, down the bridge of your nose and between your eyebrows, above your upper lip, the middle of your chin and right above your jawline.

STEP THREE: Contour. Use a 3 concealer a few shades darker

than your foundation. For larger foreheads draw a line right underneath your hairline to minimize the size. Draw a line from above the ear towards the corner of the mouth to get structured cheek bones. For the nose use a narrow tip to contour. Draw two straight lines at each end of your nose and connect it at the tip. Draw a line along your bottom jaw line, very close to your neck. Blend downwards towards your neck.

FOUR: Blend. Make sure 4 toSTEP blend out the contour and

highlight using a stippling brush or a beauty blender. Using circular motions make sure everything is well blended. Then lightly set with highlighting and contouring powders by stippling them onto the face.

STEP FIVE: Bake. Use a loose 5 translucent or banana powder

to brighten the highlighted areas. Dip a wedges sponge into the powder and apply a thick layer on the concealed areas under the eyes, bridge of the nose and underneath the cheek contour. Leave the powder on for 5-10 minutes then lightly brush it off the face.

6 sure everything is well

STEP SIX: The Finish. Make

Glam Canvas Hair Design | Makeup Art Contact: 604-368-0084 instagram.com/glamcanvas facebook.com/glamcanvas twitter.com/glamcanvas 60

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

DIY Contour!

blended. Then finish off the face by applying lipstick, blush and a shimmer highlight above the cheeks, brown bone, down the nose and above your upper lip. Lastly, set the face with a setting spray to make sure the makeup lasts all day. www.desitoday.ca

GET DIFFERENT EYE SHAPES USING THE SAME PRODUCTS Many people assume that to achieve different eye looks, you’ll need many different makeup products. However, what’s more important than the number of products you have is the way you use your products! Read below to see how you can transform your naked eye into three different looks using the same products! mra

By Raman Sa ail.com gm @ Artbyraman

NAKED EYE Start with naked eye, then follow these steps: 1. Nude shadow all over lid 2. Medium brown eyeshadow in your crease 3. Curl eye lashes

BRIGHT EYE 1. Shimmery highlight the brow bone 2. Shimmery highlight inner tear duct 3. White/nude pencil on lower water line 4. Matte brown shadow to the lower lash line (wing out on inner corner) 5. 2-3 coats of mascara on top & bottom lashes

BRANDS USED: 1. White/nude liner: “Mac Pale Yellow” 2. Black pencil eyeliner: “Make up Forever Aqua Eyes” (shade: black) 3. Liquid Liner: “NYC Liquid Eye Liner in Black 4. Highlighter: “Mac Shroom” (shimmery) 5. On the lid: “Stila Nectar”

CAT EYE 1. Take the same medium brown eyeshadow(from your crease) and put it on the outer half of your eye 2. Black shadow on outer 1/4 of your eye 3. Black pencil liner on upper & lower water line 4. Black pencil liner on the outer 2/3rds of lower lash line 5. Black winged liquid eyeliner on top 6. 1 coat of mascara on top & bottom lashes www.desitoday.ca

ROUND EYE 1. Take the same medium brown eyeshadow(from your crease) and put it on the inner quarter and outer quarter of your lid 2. Repeat step #1 on bottom lash line 3. Take black eye shadow and put it on the inner and outer corner of your lid & bottom lash line 4. White eyeliner on bottom water line 5. 1 coat of mascara on top & bottom lashes

6. Crease: “Urban Decay Naked” (color name not pallet name) 7. Black shadow: “Makeup Forever sh36a” 8. Mascara: “Loreal Voluminous Carbon Black” OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

61

BEAUTY & ENTERTAINMENT

Was out of work due to my complexion -INDIA BORN FRENCH MODEL

Satya Oblette was adopted by a French couple during their visit to Pondicherry and was discovered by designer Jean Paul Gaultier that made his mark on the international fashion scene. But Satya Oblette, who has fronted campaigns for luxury fashion houses like Kenzo, Gio Ferrari and Dolce & Gabbana, says he had trouble getting work initially because of his “long black hair and complexion”.

“Modelling was not at all my thing... It actually started as a challenge between my friend and me... The start was very 62

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

difficult for me as I had long black hair and people commented about my complexion and after a while I stopped getting work.”

“Later, when I was in India in Pondicherry, I saw this dark Indian man with grey hair and a grey beard and that is where I got the idea from. I went to my hairstylist and showed him a picture I had taken of the man and told him to do the same thing with my hair and beard.

“When I entered Jean Paul Gaultier’s office after that they were all shocked at

first but then he said ‘let’s work together’ and that is how it all started,” Oblette told IANS during his visit to India last week.

In the late 1970s, he was adopted by a couple of French teachers who were overcoming the trauma of the death of their second son. Despite the painful start, the young Indian was blessed with destiny that opened doors of modelling and haute couture shows.

With over two decades of experience in the field, the 39-year-old, who has emerged as one of the most famous male www.desitoday.ca

faces of fashion internationally, is recognised as a dark, brooding man with spiky white hair.

He feels that “it is important that you don’t forget where you come from even if you are famous in a particular field” and added that today he is “ready to find my real mother and look for answers to the questions I have in my mind”.

“I would love to give myself to India because for the French I am the most Indian guy and, similarly for Indians, I am the most French Indian. I would like to be the bridge between the two cultures and try and bring the cultures together,” he said.

His last visit to India was in 2012 when he started writing his autobiography titled “My Life in Pieces” that was published in March. But he would love to gain more business opportunities in India as he feels that “the Indian economy is rising really well and a huge part of my heart is here”.

“I would love to work for Indian brands or designers. I would love for this to act as my bridge between Switzerland and India and it will also compel me to travel to India more than I currently do,” said Oblette by adding that he “would love to work in Bollywood movies and I am looking out for options”.

It’s not just fashion that is keeping him busy. The model is associated with many social causes too.

In 2012, Oblette joined the association A Child by the Hand, which helps children born into poor families.

Currently, he is the global ambassador for Heart for India Foundation, founded by Princess Francoise Sturdza, a businesswoman from Geneva. Internationally acclaimed Indian designer PriaKataariaPuri is the Indian promoter and ambassador of the foundation.

“I met Princess Francoise Sturdza last year through a common friend and that is when they introduced the Heart for India Foundation (HFI) to me and showed me what they work for and how they contribute towards the Indian society.

“When I met Princess, she told me that the HFI is completing 10 years and now has a success rate of almost 95 percent.

It is not something wherein the kids will gain education for a few years and then they will be left alone. It’s more like following the kids and making sure they are able to finish their studies and then work on their own,” said Oblette.

- IANS www.desitoday.ca

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63

HEALTH BEAUTY & WELLNESS ENTERTAINMENT What made you start doing magic?

Magic Singh epitomizes wondrous magical entertainment for all. The highly acclaimed magician, Amardeep Singh Dhanjal, started performing when he was just 11-years-old.

At 15-years-old, young Amardeep went on to become became a member of the ‘The Young Magician’s Circle’. Magic Singh can be found performing around the UK and the World with a unique modern style of visual magic that captivates and amazes his audiences. From selecting cards floating out of their decks, biting through coins using his teeth, producing money out of ordinary paper, discovering playing cards in almost impossible locations and—most surprising—having spectators’ rings appear on his keys, Magic Singh’s tricks are nothing less than mind blowing.

It was back in 1999 when I saw David Blaine appear on UK TV for the firsttime, I was blown away! I wanted to be like him and learn the amazing magic he was performing. Ever since then I began researching about magic in libraries and the Internet. This led me to practice the art through books and videos that were bought for me on my birthday and Christmas. Over the years my knowledge and performance has continued to excel leading toperformances from Mum and Dad to A-list movie stars and celebrities.

How long does it take you to learn/perfect a trick?

Throughout my 19 years of learning and performing magic, I have now realised that you are forever learning and perfecting a trick. I can learn a new trick within minutes and be able to perform it, however it will never be at a professional standard. I would usually pracitse it on friends before I go and test it out in the real world.

As I get better at performing a particular trick, I’ll always find new was of delivering it.

Magic Singh INDIAN MAGICIAN MAKING HEADLINES

What is your favourite trick and why?

There are too many…however I love seeing people’s faces when they see me turn lotto tickets into money!

What did your parents say when you told them you wanted to be a magician?

My parents have always been supportive with anything I have done.

Although I started learning magic at the age of 11, my parents thought that magic was just a hobby

hal

By Parveen So

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OCT / NOV 2015

News With A Desi View

www.desitoday.ca

and that I may one day grow out of it eventually. However the more I learnt the better I became. It has been like a snowball effect and they could see the potential it, especially with the increased bookings and media attending I was receiving. The more shows I did the more attractive the lifestyle proud became. My parents are of my career due to the positive impact it is having with my life and the people around me and therefore give me full support all the way to the top.

What would you say your peers who want to pursue careers which are “out of the norm” in the Indo Canadian community?

What ever your dreams and passions are, go for it! Don’t let others tell you that you can’t pursue a certain career because society or a certain member of the family will not approve. This is your life, so live it how you want. People are afraid of change and therefore will try to steer you away from achieving your dreams.

Keep your dreams alive and understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself. When you experience this you will be live a richer life (not just financially).

Did you have formal education in magic? In another field?

Majority of my education into the art of magic is self taught. I have read books and watched instructional videos to understand the basics and advances of magic. My other eductaion comes from theatre studies and Psychology during my time at school and collage. I have a university degree in Film and Television Prodution that has helped me be creative with my self promotional magic videos I now post online.

Was there ever a time where you thought you would pursue another profession? If so, what was it?

I’ve always had a passion in the arts, such as acting and film making. However because magic came to me at such an early age, I was hooked from then onwards and have never looked back.

Who is a magician you look up to and www.desitoday.ca

Be Humble Be Happy. When you focus on yourself and keep your mind in a positive place, you will able to impliment that on other in your life.

Is there anything else you’d like to say about your career, journey, or anything else about yourself that you’d like our readers to know?

why?

I loved watching the American magicians from Vegas legends such as David Copperfield and Lance Burton, but my vote goes to David Blaine. It’s because of him I am where I am today. I love his contemporary style of performing magic without the need of cheesy props and outfits.

Magic has become cool again since Blaine came to the scene since 1999.

What do you think is the most important part of being a magician?

Showmanship is the most important skill to have as a magician. If you don’t have this you will fail to firstly maintain the attention of the audience and secondly be extremely boring. I also believe its important to look good as this enhances the act and completes the package of a successful magician. This applies to anything in life.

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever go en?

One of my favourite stories comes from a wedding I was performing at many years ago. I had a large group of people watching my magic. I needed the help of 2 people, so I randomly chose a guy and a girl who have never met each other.

There was a moment where I place the card in the guys hand and asked the girl to place her hand on top.

After a bit of hocus pocus, the card magicially changed into the selected signed card. All seems normal for my perofmance. It turns out the 2 strangers that I got involved in the trick got talking with each other and eventually started dating! A year later I find out from a mutal friend that their engaged to each other! Not bad for a card trick! Beat that cupid!

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BEAUTY & ENTERTAINMENT

WHO WORE HOLLYWOOD V

VS.

74%

Deepika Padukone

VS.

26%

Zoe Saldana

69%

AIshwariya Rai

31%

Jennifer Hudson

VS.

48%

Jennifer Lawrence 66

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52%

Sonam Kapoor www.desitoday.ca

IT BETTER: S. BOLLYWOOD

VS.

69%

Deepika Padukone

44%

56%

Sonam Kappor

Katy Perry

VS.

31%

Ashley Bensen

VS.

34%

Emma Stone www.desitoday.ca

66%

Kangana Ranaut AUG / SEPT 2015 News With A DESI View

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BEAUTY & ENTERTAINMENT

Can You Guess The Bollywood Celebrity?

TRY TO MATCH THESE RARE CHILDHOOD PHOTOS OF OUR FAVOURITE BOLLYWOOD STARS

4

1

A

2

B

5

C

D E

3

6

Check your answers on Page 82!

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F www.desitoday.ca

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BEAUTY & ENTERTAINMENT

UPCOMING He Named Me Malala

Release: Oct 9, 2015 An in-depth look into the life of Malala Yousafzai and the events that led up to the Taliban a acking the young Pakistani school girl. The documentary outlines Malala’s efforts to advocate for young girls to have an education around the world. The film outlines the a ack, her vision for the world, and her speech for the United Nations. “He Named me Malala” is a behind-the-scenes look at the life of the youngest girl to ever win a Nobel Peace Prize. Watch in admiration as Malala takes on the journey protect children from slavery, extremism and child labor.

The documentary is truly a must-watch film.

Jazbaa

Release: Oct 9 Anuradha (Aishwarya Rai Bachchan) is a prominent and successful criminal lawyer whose daughter is abducted. In order to get her daughter back, the abductor tells Anuradha she must defend a convicted film who is charged with brutually raping and murdering a young woman. The prosecutor who is working opposite of Anuradha is a longtime rival who is determined to end her career.

Watch the action packed thriller as the unknown abductor follow’s Anuradha’s every move as she fights desperately to get her daughter back. Audiences have been eagerly waiting to watch the film that marks Aishwarya’s Rai’s big come back and now fans can decide if “Jazbaa” was worth the wait.

Dildariyaan

Release: Oct 9, 2015 Jassi Gill and Sagarika Ghatge play the lead roles in this new Punjabi romance movie. Jassi has his heart run over by the beautiful Sagarika but has one obstacle standing in his way: her father. The strict and lovably-overbe aring dad does not plan on making it easy for his daughter’s potential husband. In a rollercoaster of laughs, drama and the always anticipated catchy Punjabi songs, Jassi goes on a quest to win his heart.

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www.desitoday.ca

MOVIES

hal

By Parveen So

Beeba Boys

Release: Oct 16 Oscar nominated writer/director Deepa Mehta brings us the most ruthless, adrenaline-charged and intriguing Canadian film centered on Vancouver gang culture. Jeet Johar is a single father and charismatic leader of his lethal gang “The Beeba Boys” (“The Good Boys”). The young non-fearing group of boys dress to the 9’s as they strive to make a name for themselves in the white world. At a glance, “Beeba Boys” may seem like a subpar film that only succeeds at glamorizing the gang world, but one view of the trailer will prove all the skeptics wrong: the plot, action scenes, dialogue, phenomenal directing, and underlying message of the production is the perfect combination for an entertaining film for all to see. “Blood will be spilled, hearts broken and family bonds pushed to the limit.”

Prem Ratan Dhan Payo

Release: Nov 12 Salman Khan lovers will be especially excited for this film as the popular actor is featured in a double role. The king, Prem, (played by Salman) is beloved by his subjects but yearns to lead a normal life free stress and free of his step brother who has plans to steal his title from him.

Things quickly stir up in the film when Prem meets Vijay (also played by Salman) who is a common man who looks exactly like him and Prem decides switches roles with him. Watch all the drama unfold with this tale which is lossely based on the novel “The Prince and the Pauper.”

Prem Ratan Dhan Payo is proving to be one of the most anticipated films of the year as the trailer for the film which was released on October 1st received an asounting 6 million views within 3 days.

Shaandaar

Release: Oct 22 Shaandaar is rumoured to be the most well-liked Hindi romantic comedy of the year. Shahid Kapoor plays a destination wedding organizer and the film centers around how romance ensues as two Indian family businesses make way for a merger. This is the first time that Shahid Kapoor is featured in a film opposite his father, Pankaj Kapoor and audiences can expect amazing chemistry between the father-son duo as well as between the two leading actors. The music, the witty dialogue and the list of A-list stars make us feel “Shaandaar” about the upcoming film! www.desitoday.ca

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

71

DESI

Around Town

At the Eid Milan and Syrian Refugee Family Sponsorship Fundraiser organized by the Pakistan Canada Association and Al Jamia Masjid at Surrey’s Taj Park Convention Centre

Holi – Festival of Colour – was one big blast for these young people at ISKCON – Hare Krishna Temple in Burnaby at an event organized by Gina Sala.

Premier Christy Clark at BC Liberals’ fundraising dinner organized by MLA John Yap in Richmond

At The Centre for Child Development fundraiser by the Child Development Foundation of B.C. at Surrey’s Crown Palace organized by Jas Cheema.

Photos by Chandra Bodalia

Annual Muslim Festival with noteable members of the community.

Sarbjit Ramona, President of Surrey-Newtown Rotary Club with fellow Rotarians presenting a cheque to Kuldip K. Ardawa, Community Partnerships Manager at the Surrey / North Delta Food Bank. The club raised $3,150 as well as 2011 lbs of food

Surrey-Newton MLA, Harry Bains at the CaN Education Foundation Nepalese community picnic on September 27 to help raise funds to build schools in Nepal. Surrey.

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Indian Consul General Rajiv Kumar Chander Chander with Vancouver Police Deputy Chief Steve Rai at a Vancouver restaurant

www.desitoday.ca

DESI

Around Town

Candidates of the Conservative Party, Liberal Party and NDP from Surrey ridings participated in a federal election dialogue organized by the Surrey Board of Trade.

When Bollywood-Hollywood actor Anupam Kher decided to pose with VOICE photographer Chandra Bodalia! Who looks deadlier?

Young kids showing their Muslim pride at the annual Muslim Festival at Holland Park

The Golden Girls Group organized a fundraiser for Guru Nanak Khajana on September 25 at Surrey’s Grand Taj Banquet Hall in support of BC Children’s Hospital.

Sarbjit Cheema and friends at his press conference for the release of his new song “Sohni”

www.desitoday.ca

At the District Ropar and Mohali Night organized by the Ropar District Cultural Association at Surrey’s Bombay Banquet Hall OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

73

2016 BMW 330e Plug-In Hybrid

SetS tHe HIgHeSt StandardS Ever since its launch in 1975, the BMW 3 Series still holds the title of BMW’s most well liked and best-selling model to date. It has been reported that the series accounts for almost 30% of the company’s sales volume. However, BMW is not the type of brand to sit idly as sales rise.

Instead, they have been busy perfecting the BMW 330e: the first hybrid model of the 3 Series family and the latest innovation in the BMW empire.

The 330e isn’t the first BMW vehicle to take on the hybrid route (it stands beside the 2015 i8 and 2015 i3) but what sets the 330e apart is that it is first vehicle from an existing BMW line to get the hybrid feature. Further, the 330e is said to incorporate technology that was developed from both previous hybrid models.

As for appearances, the 330e keeps its’ 3 Series family look with the same midcycle facelift. The differences in outward appearance are very minor in the front as there is nothing noticeably different other than the addition of the charging door in the front wing on the driver’s side (between the front wheel arch and the Apillar).In addition, BMW included switches specific to hybrid drivetrain including theDriving Experience Control switch and the eDrive switch, both of which can be found on the center console. This BMW is sure to spark customers’ interest with comfortable seating space in the 74

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A Desi View

cabin, with at least 13 cubic feet ofcargo space available.

At the heart of the BMW 330e is a hybrid powertrain that includes a 2.0-liter turbocharged four-cylinder engine that produces 181 horsepower and 214 poundfeet of torque and a plug-in hybrid drive system that generates 88 horsepower and 184 pound-feet of torque.Put together, the highly anticipated 330e is capable of producing a total system output of 248 horsepower and 310 pound-feet of torque, all of which is sent to the two rear wheels from a standard eight-speed Steptronic transmission.

The charge time for the 330e (for an 80%) is estimated to be 1.6 hours at 2.7kW. Here is an excerpt from BMW’s press release “The arrival of the new BMW 330e offers customers another innovative route to Sheer Driving Pleasure.

With its plug-in hybrid drive system, the latest BMW 3 Series variant combines

the dynamic flair for which the brand is renowned with the option of driving on electric power alone (locally emissionfree) and the promise of unbeatable efficiency over longer distances. The BMW 330e therefore brings together highquality dynamics and extremely low fuel consumption. The fusion of BMW eDrive technology (developed under the BMW EfficientDynamics banner) with a BMW TwinPower Turbo petrol engine has resulted in an efficient and dynamic plug-in hybrid drive system which fits perfectly with the BMW brand: dynamically adept, locally emission-free (thanks to its electric driving system) and efficient” After many years of anticipation, it seems that BMW is finally set to offer partially electric versions of its standard (and highly popular) models. Time will now tell if the vehicle will live up to customers’ expectations.

www.desitoday.ca

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LIFE & ETC ardwaj

By Patricia Bh

1985 Air India Bombing Commemoration: The Book, The Production & The Woman Behind It All If I were to ask around and see how many young Canadians today are aware of the 1985 Air India Flight 182 bombings and could explain the event in detail, I can guarantee the majority would not be able to speak about it with accuracy. The sad reality is that this horrible incident, that took place in Canadian history, is not given the same significance as many other worldwide tragic events, such as the widely remembered terrorist a ack; 9/11. I hope to not only bring this piece of our history to the forefront, but to also acknowledge an amazing and talented Indian born, Vancouver native poet, author, and lawyer, Renée Sarojini Saklikar.

Around three years ago, in 2013, Saklikar wrote a book of poetry pertaining to the Air India Flight 182 bombings. The book is titled Children of Air India: Un/Authorized Exhibits and Interjections and can be found on the Harbour Publishing website, and other widely known online book sellers, such as eBay and Amazon.

To summarize this a ack for those that are unaware, the Air India Flight 182 bombings took place on June 23rd/1985, where a flight on its way to India was blown to shreds over the Atlantic Ocean, off the Irish Coast. 329 individuals were killed instantly, marking Canada’s largest mass murder in history. The majority of the people that were annihilated were Canadians, with 268 Canadian citizens, most of whom were of Indian descent, / NOV 2015 76 OCT News With A DESI View

and the remaining were British and Indian citizens. Many authorities believed that a Sikh extremist groups may have planted the bombs in a fight for independent homeland. During the trial for what was known as the largest terrorist a ack involving an airplane until the 9/11 attacks, only one individual, Inderjit Singh Reyat, was charged with manslaughter, while two others, Ajaib Singh Bagri and Ripudaman Singh Malik, walked freely as

cording to RCMP, the investigation is still going on, but justice has still not been served for the suffering family members.

Renée was amongst those that were personally affected by this event as her aunt and uncle were passengers on flight 182 and tragically passed away amongst the 327 other passengers. They were both doctors in India, and were visiting Renée and her family in Canada, and in an unfortunate turn of events, lost their lives

Renée Sarojini Saklikar a British Columbia judge found them not guilty. This was extremely devastating and heartbreaking for the families of the passengers that were obliterated during this tragic event as they see the killers of their loved ones, walking freely. Ac-

as part of this misfortune.

I had the privilege of interviewing Renée and was intrigued by the many things she has accomplished in her lifetime. In 1985, the same year the bombings took place, Saklikar received her Bachewww.desitoday.ca

lors of Arts in English literature from the University of British Columbia (UBC). She then pursued a career in Law receiving her LL.B (Juris Doctor) also from UBC in 1990, and has been an ongoing member of the Law Society of BC since 1991 when she was called to the British Columbia Bar. As some time had passed and Saklikar was a practicing lawyer, an unexpected tragedy had occurred when her father passed away. This was an extremely tough time for Saklikar and her then long time boyfriend had been by her side, supporting her throughout everything, during which they had decided to get married. At this time, Saklikar had mentioned while she loved the law and did enjoy her career, she felt something was missing, that she was not able to completely explore her creative side, which included her passion to write. Her husband had pushed her to take a leap of faith and explore this underlying passion, and fully supported her decision to study and pursue a career in writing. While this is not necessarily conventional in the Indian culture in comparison to her stable career in law, a er her father’s passing, she felt there was so much more to life than what is on the surface, and one should live a fulfilling life by reaching their potential, and that writing was her true passion. In 2010, Saklikar completed a Certificate in Creative Writing at Simon Fraser University (SFU), and become heavily involved in many writing programs at SFU. RenÊe was a poetry adjunct at the writers studio at www.desitoday.ca

SFU in 2010 and the following year in 2011, she was a poetry apprentice for the same program. As mentioned, RenĂŠe is the well known author of the book length poem children of air india un/authorized exhibits and interjections, which was shortlisted for the Dorothy Livesay Poetry Prize and awarded the 2014 Canadian Authors Literary Award for poetry. Saklikar is currently also a professor at SFU, and enjoys being a mentor to those who are trying to find their voice through

the arts. There is also a list of the many more achievements of RenĂŠe Saklikar.

RenĂŠe has teamed up with Turning Point Ensemble in an Irish-Canadian production titled air india [redacted] silence and longing – 30 years since flight 182, which will be held in November 2015 at the Fei and Milton Wong Theatre, SFU Woodward’s, in Vancouver. RenĂŠe collaborated with Turning Point Ensemble a er Owen Underhill, conductor and cofounder of Turning Point Ensemble, sent off Saklikar’s book to an Irish composer named JĂźrgen Simpson, who was blown away and immediately wanted to turn this into a visual piece. In November, Saklikar’s book of poetry will be turned into a theatrical experience for all to a end, and JĂźrgen Simpson says the vision is to “create a musical work which responds to and frames the events surrounding Air India Flight 182, and significantly, provides an encounter with the complexity of description at the limits of grief, ethnicity and politics.â€? This production will also aim at acknowledging this tragedy as it has been strongly underrepresented in Canadian history, and RenĂŠe, along with Turning Point Ensemble, will give a voice to those that suffered and passed in this unfortunate Canadian heartbreak.

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n ed Simpso om Cre – Jßrgen ctor – T r e e ir s D o p Com Saklikar Sarojini e Ê n e R Poet –

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77

LIFE & ETC

Pumpkin Cinnamon Cookies Serving: 27 cookies Ingredients: - 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour - 1 teaspoon baking soda - 1/2 teaspoon baking powder - 1/2 teaspoon salt - 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon - 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg - 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger - 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves - 3/4 cup unsalted bu er, at room temperature - 1/2 cup granulated sugar - 1/2 cup packed brown sugar - 3/4 cup pumpkin (we use Libby’s canned pumpkin) - 1 large egg - 2 teaspoons vanilla extract - 1 cup cinnamon chips Cinnamon Sugar Topping: - 1/4 cup granulated sugar - 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon Directions: 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line two baking sheets with Silpat bak-

2.

3.

4.

5.

ing mats or parchment paper and set aside.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and spices. Set aside.

Using a mixer, cream the bu er and sugars together until light and fluffy, about 3-4 minutes. Add the pumpkin, egg, and vanilla and mix until combined, about 3 minutes. Slowly add in the dry ingredients. Mix until just combined. Stir in the cinnamon chips.

In a small bowl, mix together sugar and cinnamon. Shape dough into rounded tablespoons and roll in the cinnamon sugar mixture. Place balls 2 inches apart on prepared baking sheet. Lightly press down on the cookies with a spatula or the palm of your hand.

Bake for 10-12 minutes or until cookies are just beginning to brown around the edges. Let the cookies cool on the baking sheet for two minutes. Transfer to a wire cooling rack and cool completely.

DESI TODAY’S FALL Pumpkin Cinnamon Streusel Pancakes Serving: Serves 4 Ingredients: For the cinnamon streusel: - 1/2 cup all-purpose flour - 1/2 cup brown sugar, packed - 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon - 6 tablespoons cold unsalted bu er, cut into chunks To make the pancakes: - 3/4 cup all-purpose flour - 1/2 cup whole wheat flour - 2 tablespoons light brown sugar - 2 teaspoons baking powder - 1/4 teaspoon salt - 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon - 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg - 1/8 teaspoon ground ginger - 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves - 1 cup milk - 1/2 cup canned pumpkin (not pumpkin 78

OCT / NOV 2015 News With A DESI View

pie filling) - 1 large egg - 2 tablespoons canola oil - 1 teaspoon vanilla extract Directions: 1. First, make the cinnamon streusel. In a medium bowl, combine flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, and bu er. Mix together with your hands or a fork, until you have a crumbly mixture. Set aside.

2. In a large bowl, whisk together flours, brown sugar, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and cloves.

Set aside.

3. In a medium bowl, whisk together milk, egg, pumpkin, canola oil, and vanilla extract. Add wet ingredients to the flour mixture and whisk until combined.

4. Heat a griddle or pan to medium low.

Coat with cooking spray. Drop 1/3 cup of ba er onto heated skillet. Add 2 tablespoons of the cinnamon streusel.

Cook on the first side until bubbles begin to form, about 2-3 minutes. Carefully flip pancake over and cover very generously with cinnamon streusel.

Cook for another 2-3 minutes or until golden brown. Continue this process to make the rest of the pancakes.

5. Serve pancakes warm with maple syrup and bu er. www.desitoday.ca

Pumpkin Cookies with Cream Cheese Frosting Serving: 36 Ingredients - 2 cups all-purpose flour - 1 teaspoon baking powder - 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon - 1/2 teaspoon baking soda - 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg - 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger - 1 cup bu er - 3/4 cup white sugar - 3/4 cup brown sugar - 2 teaspoons vanilla extract - 1 egg - 1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree - 1 (3 ounce) package cream cheese, so ened - 1/4 cup bu er, so ened - 1 teaspoon vanilla extract - 2 cups confectioners’ sugar Directions Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C). Lightly grease baking sheets.

1. Whisk flour, baking powder, cinna-

mon, baking soda, nutmeg, and ginger together in a bowl. Beat 1 cup bu er, white sugar, brown sugar, 2 teaspoons vanilla extract, and egg with an electric mixer in a separate large bowl, beating until mixture is smooth. Beat in pumpkin puree. Gradually stir dry ingredients into pumpkin mixture.

Ba er will be moist.

2. Spoon ba er by teaspoonfuls about 2 inches apart onto prepared baking sheets.

3. Bake in the preheated oven until cookies are lightly browned, 10 to 12 minutes. Let cookies cool for about 5 minutes on sheets before removing to finish cooling on waxed paper.

4. Beat cream cheese, 1/4 cup bu er, and 1 teaspoon vanilla extract in a bowl with an electric mixer until so and creamy. Beat in confectioners’ sugar, about 1/2 cup at a time, until frosting is smooth and spreadable. Frost cooled cookies with cream cheese frosting.

PUMPKIN RECIPES Pumpkin Lassi -

ree into blender and whiz until finely chopped spoon in the yoghurt and cardamom and whiz until smooth. If it is still too thick (this will depend on the consistency of your yoghurt and juiciness of

-

your mango), add a li le milk or water to thin it down. taste and add sugar as required. sprinkle cinnamon powder on top as desired. pour into a glass and savour.

We believe in Quality over Quantity

Serving: 1 glass Ingredients - 200 ml pumpkin puree (from can) - 5 ice cubes - 125ml chilled plain whole milk yoghurt - Pinch of ground cardamom, or to taste - Splash of milk or water (optional) - ½ tsp so light brown sugar (optional) - a pinch of cinnamon power (optional) Directions - add the ice cubes and pumpkin puwww.desitoday.ca

SURREY PIZZA & CHICKEN 8823 B SCOTT ROAD, DELTA 604-572-1122 • 604-572-1143 • 604-543-9122 WE SPECIALIZE IN: • TANDOORI CHICKEN PIZZA • VEG/CHICKEN GARLIC PIZZA • ITALIAN PASTA • LASAGNA/SPAGHETTI • GYROS & BBQ RIBS HAVE A LOOK AT THE FULL MENU AT:

SurreyPizzaandChicken.com OCT / NOV 2015 News With A DESI View

79

LIFE & ETC

Desi Today’s Cutest Trick-O-Treater’s Here we have the CuteBear— I mean CareBear— li le Ali !

Here’s our trio of the scariest costumes this Halloween! The apocalypse is amongst us!

Shyna Sareen has the purrrrfect cat costume for trickor-treating!

All hail the bug queen: 1-year-old Aaliyah Chawla!

Super Baby!

2-year-old Ayden is your Clark Kent by day and Kelowna’s top super hero at night!

Eh, what’s up, Doc? Esha is ready to gather up some carrots and hop away!

Compiled By

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OCT / NOV 2015

News With A DESI View

l

Parveen Soha

www.desitoday.ca

NOTARY PUBLIC

604-594-7505 Fax: 604-590-8244 Email: jvaid@kwik.net

No one’s a match for this fearless tag team!

3 Year old Ishawn and 6 year old Jayvin Bhullar take the title for undefeated cutest sibling costume!

Roar!

Give this lion your candy or else!

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Mohinder Singh The real kings of the animal kingdom!

The 2 year old Tiger & 9 month Kangroo growled and hoped their way to the cutest costumes title.

Here we have Ishaan Singh Dhaliwal with his stern lookout for any fire’s that might need his a ention!

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81

LIFE & ETC

KNOW WHAT YOUR STAR SAYS

HOROSCOPE O C T - 2 0 1 5 CAPRICORN

(Dec 22- Jan 19)

You’re preparing to take on a big goal. You understand that it will be a big time commitment and you’re willing to put in the work but you’re lacking time management skills. You end up wasting a lot of time! Instead of being proactive, being on task and optimizing on the time you have you achieve this goal you get distracted and wither away from your focus. Make a daily schedule and follow it! Don’t let laziness and short attention span stop you from achieving this goal.

AQUARIUS

(Jan 20-Feb 18)

You’re wondering whether your career choice is what you were “born to do.” You keep questioning if this job/direction is your passion and is what you were made to do. What you need to do is look at the whole picture: does it make you happy? Does it allow you to support yourself? Does it keep your motivated? Answer these questions and decide whether or not to change your path from there.

PISCES

(Feb 19-Mar 20)

You’ve been acting a lot more shy lately. You catch yourself simply listening to others in group conversations rather than contributing to the dialogue. You’ve slowly started to internalize your thoughts in fear of others’ reaction if you shared them. This is not you! You’re usually more social than this. Figure out where this insecurity is coming from and get back to your old ways—quick!

ARIES

(Mar 21 - Apr 19)

You feel like changing up your look. You feel like your wardrobe isn’t ac-

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OCT / NOV 2015 News With A DESI View

curately depicting the person you want the world to see. Listen to your gut! Go out and buy clothes you feel con�ident in. You will feel more “you” by doing this.

TAURUS

(Apr 20 - May 20

Lately you’ve been so concerned with other people’s feelings and emotions that you haven’t had time to do the same for yourself. You need to take time with yourself to make sure you are happy and you need to make sure you work out anything that may be upsetting you. Careful not to get into the habit of helping others so much that you forget to help yourself! There needs to be a balance.

GEMINI

(May 21 - June 21)

You’re feeling very adventurous. You want to explore the world and have new and exciting experiences! Instead of just fantasizing about this, you need to go out and make it happen! Find a week or so where you’re not busy and plan a trip somewhere you’ve never been before. Let your inner explorer out! You’ll thank yourself later.

CANCER

(June 22-July 22)

You haven’t been appreciating what you have lately. You have so many good people around you and so many amazing prospects for the future but you haven’t taken the time to be thankful for that. You need to really think about everything positive that’s in your life right now because you never know what can change.

LEO

(July 23-Aug 22)

You’re upset with someone but you don’t know how to confront them. It’s a little awkward, it’s about an older

issue and you’re afraid about how they might react. You need to work up the courage to �inally do it because it’s really bothering you!

Confront them in a way that is direct but don’t attack them. You need to get this off your chest!

VIRGO

(Aug 23-Sept 22)

You were a lot more hard working in the beginning of the year in comparison to know. Earlier on in the year you were determined, putting in long hours and seeing amazing results. Now, you’ve slowed down and it doesn’t seem like you even mind the reduced results. You need to get back on you’re A-game!

Try to remember the feeling of working really hard and being so proud at your results. Get back to it!

LIBRA

(Sept 23-Oct 22)

You feel very hyper lately.

You’re always active, have lots of energy and are even sleeping a little less than usual. You notice that those around you are not feeling the same elevated energy. Don’t let them bring you down! These phases don’t last too long so soak up the energy boost and use it for some good!

SCORPIO

(Oct 23-Nov 21)

You want to contribute more to society but you’re not sure how. You think of yourself as a giving person and want to help others in need but you don’t have a lot of money to spare right now. Don’t think too hard about the dollar amount. Find a small project to be a part of and donate your time and/or money starting here. You’ll feel amazing and this can help you do the bigger acts of kindness!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21)

You`re feeling very annoyed with someone in your life lately. They keep doing things that are disappointing, irritating and downright wrong! Those around you have noticed it and agree with you. What you have to do is not focus too much of your energy on that person. Yes, their very existence can be aggravating but you need to focus on something more positive! It will help ease your mind.

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