Traditions to Scrap

JESSICA WILLIAMS

Weddings are, at their core, rooted in tradition. They change and evolve over time, but the entire idea of a ceremony to legally bind two people to each other dates back to 2350 BC (Seriously! We checked!). Obviously, the times have changed and weddings have become wonderful celebrations as unique as the couples themselves. It’s common to get hung up on some traditions just because “everyone has always done them”, but that doesn’t mean you have to include them in your plans. We hereby give you permission to scrap anything that doesn’t fit your style! With that, here is a list of some traditions we’ve noticed are on their way out. Throwing the bouquet/garter - We’re going to come right out and say it: throwing flowers and undergarments at your single friends as a way of telling them their time for wedded bliss is coming is kind of weird. Not to mention kind of humiliating. Let’s face it, society makes enough unsolicited comments and observations on the relationships of others, we don’t need to make a game of it. I remember being eleven years old at my cousin’s wedding and marveling as the single women piled on top of one another in an attempt to catch the bundle of flowers. Even as a child, the skirmish seemed intense and uncomfortable. Either your guests will be very excited for it and trample each other, or utterly lackluster which will make it awkward. Either way, spare them the situation. Programs - These little pieces of folded paper can be a lovely keepsake for your guests...or they can end up on the floor, trampled and crumpled as they slide from laps. Often they are an expense that just isn’t necessary. Sure they give an idea of the timeline, but realistically your guests are sticking around whether the ceremony lasts ten minutes or an hour. Save the paper and the cost. Formal Rehearsal Supper - The rehearsal itself is important, otherwise your wedding party won’t have a clue what’s going on, but it can be simple and certainly doesn’t require a feast afterwards. A barbeque or light meal with your wedding party and family can be a lot of fun; it simply doesn’t need to be formal. As an aside, please note that while the rehearsal supper isn’t necessary, a half hour rehearsal is still important to make sure everyone knows what to expect on the day (more on this in our article on page 6). Flower Girl/Ring Bearer - These adorable little people can add some sweet moments to your ceremony, but if you don’t have any little ones in your immediate life that would be a good fit for the role, skip it. Also remember that often parents with small children will want to sit close to an aisle so they can hoist their screaming kids up and out without drawing attention to themselves in the event of a meltdown (you know, from a twisted sock or itchy tag). If the child is part of the wedding party it’s a lot more difficult to get them out discreetly. Small children rarely do really well with standing still for longer than thirty seconds in fancy clothes. Consider having the special little people in your life in a couple of adorable photos instead. Favours - The purpose of favours is to say ‘thank you’ to your guests for making the effort to attend, but there are other ways to do it. A glass of something to toast with and a piece of cake is sufficient as far as etiquette is concerned, but a meaningful or useful favour means so much more than wasting hours assembling bundles of tulle wrapped mints (also, those home-bundled candies don’t seem all that sanitary). The Chicken Dance - Do we need to explain this one? Sure you may have a couple of distant relatives who think it’s a gas, but let’s just skip this one, please. Giving Away the Bride/Groom - Families are complicated and varied with layers and layers of dynamics thrown in. Some families aren’t close. Some families are divided. Some families are blended. Also, people aren’t property to be given away. Skip it if it makes you uncomfortable. There are loads of other processional ideas to choose from; you can enter on you own or with each other, or with a friend, or another family member, or any other combination that makes you feel happy. If your dream has always been to walk down the aisle with your father or mother, please do! But if it makes you feel uncomfortable, feel free to go another route.

The bottom line is this is your day and you get to skip whatever traditions you don’t like. For a couple to be married all you really need is you and your soon-tobe-spouse, someone to officiate, and two witnesses. Everything else is icing on the cake (or donut platter if you don’t want a cake).

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