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guest column Mother’s Day Viewed Through a Jewish Lens

My earliest memory of Mother’s Day goes back to when I was about 6 years old. I conspired with my sister, who is two years my senior, to surprise my mother by making dinner for the family.

Rabbi Chaim While she Fink was still in bed, early on that Sunday morning, we attempted one of our that she always wanted. And favorites: spaghetti and when parents turn the corner meatballs. and enter the arena of old It was an absolute age, perhaps picking them disaster! The chopped meat up and taking them out for was frozen, as we were yet dinner is the way to express unaware of the need to love and appreciation. defrost it the night before. For many, Mother’s Day Despite the flopped dinner, is a time of mixed feelings, she truly appreciated the thinking of a mother who sentiment, and we helped has passed on, nostalgically her clean up the not-so-small recalling the many good mess that was left behind. times that were shared

As one travels along the together. But there is also the journey of life, Mother’s pain of the loss, missing her Day takes on different and feeling the void. meanings. To a young child, it may mean trying to create a nice surprise for the most important woman in the child’s life. Freshly cut foraged wildflowers, a lopsided cake or a cute little note unmistakably written in a child’s scribble are all ways a youngster might mark this special day.

As one gets older, the gifts for mom grow in sophistication. Beautiful roses, breakfast in bed or that new kitchen gadget

A DEEP LOVE

From a Jewish perspective, Mother’s Day is intrinsically connected to the gratitude we must feel and express to someone who has given us more than anyone in the whole world. The Torah teaches that the love that a parent feels for a child is even stronger than the reverse, that is, the love that the child feels for a parent. A mother is capable of extending herself and giving to her child in a way that the child will never be capable of replicating. The nights robbed of sleep, moments filled with worry and days rich in that nurturing maternal love are just the very beginning of what our mothers have done for us.

To truly understand the depth of something, we study the ancient Hebrew word for it. We believe that the world was created with the mystical letters of the Hebrew alphabet, and the Hebrew word for something will portray its essence. The Hebrew word for mother is “em” or “Ima,” closely related to the Hebrew word “emunah,” which means faith. Through her constant care and love, our mother is the one who instills in us a deep sense of trust. That foundation of trust is the basis for our faith in our Father in Heaven, and a faith and hope in people. Through a mother’s love, we learn to trust in humanity and in the goodness of the world around us.

Honoring one’s mother (and father) plays such a prominent role in Torah thought that it made it into the Ten Commandments.

It stands as number five on the list and serves to bridge the gap between the commandments that relate to our relationship with the Almighty, which occupy the right side of the Tablets, and the interactions that we have with our peers, found on the left side.

A parent is a partner with God in creating us and giving us life. To us, a parent isn’t a peer. A mother and father are not simply a friend, but they are someone we look up to, revere and respect.

Properly honoring a parent is a step toward honoring the Almighty, and as such, this mitzvah serves perfectly to transition from the right side of the tablets — the Divine side, to the left side — the one dealing with laws of human engagement.

To those of us who are fortunate enough to have a mother still in this world, let us take this Mother’s Day, and really, every day, to appreciate the great gift that we have.

She won’t be with us forever, so let us seize the moment and make it special.

To those of us whose mother lives on in memory, let us cherish those memories.

Wishing you all a happy Mother’s Day.

Rabbi Chaim Fink is an educator at Partners Detroit.

letters

Fond Memories of ‘The Heights’

“Living Jewishly in the Heights,” the recent Jewish News article on the surge of Jewish residents in Madison Heights [April 15, page 12], recalls earlier experiences of the first Jewish students at Madison High School from 1952-54. Oak Park was a newly developed community and had just one elementary school. Families with older students had to enroll them in school districts that would accept tuition students. This was still after the war and home construction in new suburbs like Oak Park was at warp speed! (“Warp speed” was probably not part of the patois of this time.)

My parents, Fred and Dorothy Nolish, were among those first Oak Park “settlers.” I, as a newly double promoted 10th grader, found myself on a school bus en route to Madison High School, following my freshman year at Central, where geometry had terrified me, and my tone deafness had disqualified me from singing in the chorus.

Understand that a Jewish student was a curiosity in this blue collar, working class community. There was a “Jew store” across from the school, and it was a given that you could be “jewed” out of money. And while I was a decent student at Central High School, I became a star at Madison. My classmates were friendly and welcoming. The teachers seemed delighted to find such an industrious student, and I was able to start a school newspaper and become its editor, serve as a class officer, participate in forensics, have the leading role in the school play, serve in the homecoming court and graduate as valedictorian.

Let me note, however, that there was a total of 37 students in my graduating class and few were college-bound. I doubt that I would have had this honor at Central, which was awash with brilliant, ambitious scholars!

I had also found a boyfriend among my Madison classmates, even though I recall hurt feelings when a boy of interest referred to me as “a walking dictionary,” but I found a steady who escorted me to school dances and the prom. My parents, concerned that I might not marry a Jewish boy, had joined Temple Beth El when I was in the fifth grade. Thus, for my last two years of high school, I lived in two worlds: my Madison High School classmates were very different from the Beth El crowd, many of whom were from the city’s most prominent families.

Thus, to read that Jews are “living Jewishly in the Heights” evokes memories of a community that enriched my life. I’m not surprised that this influx is impacting the city’s government and culture and that newcomers are experiencing friendship and support. It’s even more gratifying to learn that the city council approved a proclamation recognizing International Holocaust Remembrance Day!

Mom deserves the best on Mother’s Day! Make it...

— Edie Broida West Bloomfield

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PURELY COMMENTARY

guest columns A Conversation About Justice Between Friends

JN FILE PHOTO

Rabbi Syme and Rev. Flowers in 2016

Editor’s Note: Pastor Kenneth J. Flowers and Rabbi Daniel Syme have shared a close friendship and brotherhood that has extended for some 25 years. They have laughed together, cried together and prayed for one another’s healing. And yet, Rabbi Syme cannot think of any moment in their bond that has been more impactful than the reading of the verdict in Derek Chauvin’s trial for the murder of George Floyd. The two friends exchanged their thoughts and agreed to share them with the Jewish News.

Dear Ken, was wrong, and I wanted to do

I must confess I had something.” misgivings about that verdict. I Darnella did something, knew what I had seen. I knew and the entire world saw. what I felt was so This young woman, perhaps obvious. And yet, unknowingly, was living out the American history words of Torah: “Justice, Justice had conditioned shall you pursue” (Deuteronomy me to be 16:20). cautious about So here we are today, filled

Rabbi Daniel Syme my optimism. I listened to with hope tempered by a profound sense of uncertainty. Judge Cahill read For during the Chauvin trial the verdict: “Guilty! Guilty! itself, another young black Guilty!” And I felt enormous man, 20-year-old Daunte relief. But at the same time, I Wright, was shot and killed by felt profound sadness, sadness the police, only 10 miles from that a verdict that seemed so where George Floyd died. A obvious could be a source of 16-year-old Black girl was killed celebration in the United States by police in Columbus, Ohio, of America. during jury deliberations. And

My thoughts drifted back Andrew Brown Jr. was killed to August 1963. I was 17 by police in North Carolina the years old when my father of day after the verdict. blessed memory, Rabbi M. The verdict was a historic Robert Syme, returned from first step, but only a beginning. participating in the March on There is so much more to do. Washington with Dr. Martin So today, I again reach out my Luther King Jr. and told me, hand to you, my beloved friend, “Danny, America is on the and promise you that I will do road to justice, but it is your all in my power to strengthen generation that will bring us your resolve. there.” There is no way for me to

Dad was a bit too optimistic. understand fully the challenges But it was a 17-year-old girl, we face. So, I will depend Darnella Frazier, who turned on you to guide me and to on the video on her cell phone reinforce my understanding. and filmed the entire horrific God bless you and may this be murder because, as she said, “it God’s will. instances, they are unarmed! Something must be done now to change the climate and correct these gross miscarriages of justice! Therefore, we must lobby Congress to pass the George Floyd Justice in Policing Act, which, if passed, will hold police officers accountable for Dear Danny, their criminal actions against

I wholeheartedly appreciate African Americans in particyour comments on the Derek ular and all people in general. Chauvin guilty verdicts. We must change the My heart mindset of white police rejoiced when officers in particular and Judge Cahill all police officers in general read those that African Americans and guilty verdicts Latinos deserve the same … unlike in courtesy and respect as their Rev. Kenneth 1992 when four white counterparts. If we

Flowers white police believe that all police officers officers were are not bad, then we must acquitted in the videotaped also believe that all African beating of Rodney King. I Americans and Latinos are lived in Los Angeles at the not bad! We must promote time and watched the city community policing in which go up in flames in the worst police officers know the civil unrest in the history of residents and are not so trigLos Angeles. So, the Derek ger-happy to shoot first and Chauvin guilty verdicts gave ask questions later. me a sense of justice. Let us forge ahead together

However, this cannot be and bring about justice in the conclusion of the matter. our community. Let us get There are still three other to know one another better former Minneapolis police … police and community officers who must be held … and establish a bond of accountable in the George respect and understanding Floyd murder. Other police and friendship. Let us work officers must be charged together hand in hand until and held accountable for “Justice rolls down like water the murders of Breanna and righteousness like a Taylor, Daunte Wright and mighty stream” (Amos 5:24). now Andrew Brown Jr. We shall overcome! in Elizabeth City, North Carolina.

Time and time again, too many African Americans are dying at the hands of white police officers, and, in most

Rabbi Daniel Syme is rabbi emeritus at Temple Beth El in Bloomfield Township. Rev. Kenneth J. Flowers is pastor of Greater New Mount Moriah Missionary Baptist Church in Detroit.

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STORY My STORY My

Leslie Woodell Kaner has a long history with Hebrew Free Loan that goes back to her Dental School days. She’d had government loans and help from her parents, but that wasn’t enough to cover all the costs.

“My parents suggested I try HFL, and when I looked into the education loans, not only were they interest-free, it was a simple process,” Leslie said. “The experience was positive enough that when I was married and looking for a starter home, we approached HFL for funds to help us upgrade the house we bought in Oak Park to become more energy-efficient. It was a great little house in a wonderful neighborhood, and Hebrew Free Loan helped to make it our home.”

More recently, Leslie turned to HFL when the COVID19 shutdown order was instituted in 2020. So they’d be ready to return when the order was lifted, Leslie tried desperately to source infection-control products for her dental practice, from masks and gloves to air filtration and chairs for her waiting room that were easier to disinfect. When she could find products at all, the costs had increased, and all the while there was no income.

“Insurance might have helped us if the building had closed due to a natural disaster or physical damage, but not this,” Leslie said. “I knew HFL made loans through the Marvin I. Danto Small Business Loan Program,so I called to see if they could help. Because they did, we were able to open our doors when the time came. We are safely treating patients, and I am so grateful to Hebrew Free Loan. Never in my wildest dreams would I have believed we would be shut down so long, or that we would need to make such changes to re-open. But because HFL was there, we are back in business.”

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