A Need For Self Control
P
our into me now, some of “We want the world, and we that red stuff (HaAdom), want it now!” Some people go for I am exhausted.” He through life “grabbing with was therefore called Edom (red)” gusto.” They want instant grat(Bereishit 25:30) ification and give little conIn this week’s parsideration to decisions shah, Esau comes back — major or minor. They from a hard day’s work, feel that if they don’t sees Jacob making a “grab” they will miss stew, demands some out on one of life’s great and agrees to sell his opportunities. Impulse birthright to Jacob for buying becomes a way of Rabbi Ari Kostelitz it. He is therefore called life not only for trinkets, Edom. gadgets and snacks but Parshat The Midrash says also for major life deciToldot: that Esau returned sions such as job offers, Genesis home that day after choice of schools, friends 25:19-28:9; committing five very and even husband or Malachi serious sins (including wife. 1:1-2:7. murder and rape). Why The opposite of a does the Torah focus on the “now” person is a “never” perepisode with the stew, a seemson. Business deals, social and ingly trivial/minor event, to spiritual choices do require name him (Edom) after, rather consideration, but they also than the more serious event of cannot be put off forever. the sins he committed? Insecurity leads to indecision. Perhaps here the Torah is The “never” person loses out telling the very inner core on all the right things out of Esau. His willingness to of the fear of making a bad forgo his birthright so quickly choice once in a while. shows how he was quick to This is why the Torah throw logic out of the window focuses on a mere lentil stew. and follow a more “instant It shows us the nature of gratification” route. It was this Esau and the power of the same desire, to fulfill his needs following our instant gratifiimmediately, that led him to cation desires. When we lose commit the other sins. self-control and get caught up This is how the evil inclina“in the moment,” we are handtion works. When it arouses ing over our “remote control” a desire in a person’s heart, it to someone else. That’s why tries to remove the reins of it’s important when we realize self-control. It manages to get that we are losing control over an individual to a state where ourselves, to never say or do he is no longer in control of anything. Just wait, and then himself; nothing more is need- make a decision with a clear ed! Once a person reaches head. such a level, he is not able to think/act logically. Rabbi Ari Kostelitz is a rabbi at In the ’60s, impatient Congregation Dovid Ben Nuchim in Oak Park. youth adopted the slogan,
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