Torah portion

A Need For Self Control

Pour into me now, some of that red stuff (HaAdom), for I am exhausted.” He was therefore called Edom (red)” (Bereishit 25:30)

In this week’s parshah, Esau comes back from a hard day’s work, sees Jacob making a stew, demands some and agrees to sell his birthright to Jacob for it. He is therefore called Edom.

The Midrash says that Esau returned home that day after committing five very serious sins (including murder and rape). Why does the Torah focus on the episode with the stew, a seemingly trivial/minor event, to name him (Edom) after, rather than the more serious event of the sins he committed?

Perhaps here the Torah is telling the very inner core of Esau. His willingness to forgo his birthright so quickly shows how he was quick to throw logic out of the window and follow a more “instant gratification” route. It was this same desire, to fulfill his needs immediately, that led him to commit the other sins.

This is how the evil inclination works. When it arouses a desire in a person’s heart, it tries to remove the reins of self-control. It manages to get an individual to a state where he is no longer in control of himself; nothing more is needed! Once a person reaches such a level, he is not able to think/act logically.

In the ’60s, impatient youth adopted the slogan, “We want the world, and we want it now!” Some people go through life “grabbing with gusto.” They want instant gratification and give little consideration to decisions — major or minor. They feel that if they don’t “grab” they will miss out on one of life’s great opportunities. Impulse

Rabbi Ari buying becomes a way of

Kostelitz life not only for trinkets, gadgets and snacks but

Parshat also for major life deci-

Toldot: sions such as job offers, Genesis 25:19-28:9; Malachi choice of schools, friends and even husband or 1:1-2:7. wife. The opposite of a “now” person is a “never” person. Business deals, social and spiritual choices do require consideration, but they also cannot be put off forever. Insecurity leads to indecision. The “never” person loses out on all the right things out of the fear of making a bad choice once in a while. This is why the Torah focuses on a mere lentil stew. It shows us the nature of Esau and the power of the following our instant gratification desires. When we lose self-control and get caught up “in the moment,” we are handing over our “remote control” to someone else. That’s why it’s important when we realize that we are losing control over ourselves, to never say or do anything. Just wait, and then make a decision with a clear head. Rabbi Ari Kostelitz is a rabbi at Congregation Dovid Ben Nuchim in Oak Park.

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