Brain Matters

Why your child needs social emotional well-being to succeed in school

WORDS LESLIE J. THOMPSON

BRADY STARTED SHUTTING DOWN AS A TODDLER. At an age when other little boys are eager to explore, he was reserved, even cautious. In and out of the hospital due to an unrelated illness, Brady continued to withdraw and increasingly expressed anxiety. By the time he was 3, mom Angie

Maher knew something was wrong and tried to protect him as much as possible.

“But we realized,” says the Fort Worth mom, “we were actually doing him an injustice by keeping him sheltered.”

Maher and her husband enrolled Brady at Camp Fire First Texas in hopes that the organization’s child development specialists could help him better learn to navigate his surroundings and ultimately come out of his shell.

The Camp Fire program focuses on social emotional learning, a critical part of a child’s early development that sets the stage for future success in school and in life. When children don’t develop social emotional skills during their formative years—or when that development is interrupted by trauma, like Brady’s hospital stays—they may become withdrawn and fearful or, worse, act out their insecurities

with tsunami-like force. In either case, children’s behavior and how they process information has a significant impact on their ability to learn.

“Their academics can be affected greatly because they don’t know how to regulate their emotions or develop positive relationships,” explains Tasha Moore, chief operations officer for Communities in Schools of North Texas, a nonprofit that works with local schools and families to help at-risk students.

Social emotional learning, or SEL, helps children develop five key skills: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills and responsible decision-making. Because learning is intrinsically social and interactive, fostering the ability to collaborate with teachers and peers and manage emotions in the face of challenges ensures that kids are able to fully engage in the classroom. In fact, research indicates that social emotional learning has a far greater impact on a child’s future success than academics alone.

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

Setting kids up for success in school actually happens before schooling begins. A child’s brain reaches 80 percent of its adult volume by age 3, and the events that transpire during those first years—especially interactions with adults—have a long-term impact on the child’s cognitive, emotional and social abilities.

Social emotional learning leverages this early stage of growth to develop critical skills, like emotional regulation, and to promote attachment, the emotional bond between child and caregivers.

The process of social emotional development can be interrupted by repeated or unresolved trauma, causing a child’s still-growing brain to essentially misfire. The result is what mental health experts call “emotional dysregulation,” which can manifest in aggressive behavior as the child externalizes his or her pain (think angry outbursts, throwing objects or threats of self-harm), or internalizes the hurt (often indicated by lack of eye contact, refusing to speak, rocking or extreme anxiety).

“If your brain is always on high alert—you’re waiting for somebody to yell at you or you’re left alone and nobody is paying attention to you—your brain is firing in the areas of fight, flight or freeze,” explains Pam Rinn, program director for community professional development at Camp Fire First Texas.

“They’re not firing in that frontal lobe, which is your problem-solving lobe, where you do your planning and imagining.” Instead, all activity is focused on the midbrain, or amygdala, and the child goes into survival mode. The simplest interactions trigger a crisis response, and learning simply can’t happen. Only when the child feels safe and has a strong sense of self can other learning take place. “Social emotional health precedes academic success,” explains Michelle Kinder, CEO of Embody EQ, which focuses on emotional intelligence and mental well-being; she formerly served as executive director of the Momentous Institute, a Dallas-based nonprofit focused on building social emotional health through its preschool program and therapeutic services. Although kids from low-income families are disproportionately Emotionally Equipped affected by adverse experiences in early childTry these social emotional learning strate- hood, affluent kids are gies to equip your children for academic also at risk of emotional success. dysregulation, but for Foster attachment. Connect in a positive different reasons. Kinder way with your children every day, regard- explains it could be an less of their behavior. “People need to overcrowded schedule know [they’re] loved no matter what,” says and heavy expectaearly childhood consultant Lyn Lucas. It’s tions, not to mention as easy as a hug and words of affirmation. the trauma caused by Learn to self-regulate. You need a handle on your own emotions before you can help divorce or dysfunctional family dynamics. a child calm down. Try deep breathing and other mindfulness exercises. ONGOING BENEFITS Ultimately, building kids’ Watch for signs. “If you see a young child social emotional health who is not spontaneous and doesn’t access is a shared responsibility joy in the same way that most children do, that requires the ongoing we need to be as concerned about that as commitment of every we are about the kid who’s throwing the adult, at school and at chair,” says Michelle Kinder of Embody EQ. home. “The ability to Ask for help. If your child shows signs of regulate your nervous emotional dysregulation, ask your child’s system and manage your school or pediatrician what support is inner world … only available. Also, check out resources at happens if children have campfirefw.org, consciousdiscipline.com and the experience of mutual momentousinstitute.org. regulation,” Kinder says. “If I have a safe adult who is helping me learn to calm down, the next step is that I learn to calm myself down.” That means parents and educators need to be highly conscious of how they relate to children. “You need to be careful not to label a kid as a disciplinary problem,” says Moore, adding that those labels can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Instead, adults should provide security and positive feedback to help children feel calm and confident. Many area school districts are integrating SEL into professional development for teachers and providing expanded opportunities for students to develop relationship-building skills during the school day. Experts believe the benefits will be felt in the short term and over time—in the form of happier, well-adjusted adults.