What You Can Do About School Safety

Safer Schools

Actions parents can take—and how to talk to kids about shootings

WORDS ERIN HAYES BURT

“WE DID A STRANGER DRILL AT SCHOOL TODAY.” I vividly remember the first time my daughter told me about an active shooter drill at her elementary school. As she described hiding in the back of the classroom and being quiet so the “stranger” wouldn’t hear them, my heart stood still.

These are among the toughest conversations we will have as parents. “How do I talk to [my son] about what happens when someone comes into your school with the intention to harm you?” wonders Sarah Sheldon, a Royse City mom. “Now you’re introducing the concept of pure evil to them. It just sucks to have to be like, well, you’re 6, time to talk about this part of the world.”

On dfwchild.com, you can read our full report on school shootings: how often they really happen, the ways threats are vetted and more. Here, we connect with experts to find out how parents can enhance safety on campus and talk to their kids about the unthinkable.

What parents can do

GET INVOLVED AND ASK QUESTIONS.

Every Texas school is required to have a school safety and security committee, and the law provides for representation by two parents, says Kathy MartinezPrather, Ph.D., director of the Texas School Safety

Center at Texas State University. Consider serving on that committee—or at least attend its presentations and activities. Principals can also provide insight into safety measures.

Here are some questions you may want to ask: • Does the school have a safety plan? • How does the school address bullying? • What active shooter drills are planned, and what are children told? How do teachers and counselors engage with students after? • What is the regular police presence like on campus? • How are threats reported, and what’s the follow-up process for those tips?

REPORT SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR, AND ENCOURAGE KIDS TO DO THE SAME.

Signs that someone is at risk for harming themselves or others include threats, violent outbursts, excessive absenteeism, alarming changes in behavior or a sudden interest in weapons and violent events.

Often, kids are the ones in a position to observe those signs—so whether it’s something your student spots online or hears about in school, make sure they know to say something. “We encourage our parents to have conversations with their students,” says CJ Evans, who serves on the Fort Worth ISD school board. “It is important that parents encourage students to help by not keeping information to themselves. … Tell an adult.”

Reports can be made without giving your name; Texas schools are required to have an anonymous tip line. You can share information about threats of violence as well as bullying, drugs and anything else you think is relevant.

TALK ABOUT SAFETY SKILLS AT HOME.

Texas law requires all schools to complete two lockdown drills per year. Following a drill, you can contribute to your child’s readiness for an emergency by talking to them about knowing where the exits are, to run away from gunfire or fireworks sounds and how to escape the classroom—the “run” in the FBI’s Run-Hide-Fight approach, since schools practice only the “hide” aspect.

“What [the schools are] essentially doing is practicing the protocol, not all the different situations that could play out,” says Martinez-Prather. “If you can get away, get away. It’s sad to be having these conversations with your babies… but at the end of the day, these events are still statistically rare.”

How to talk to your child about drills and shootings

GRADES K–5:

• Don’t bring it up unless they do, advises

Blair Taylor, a regional coordinator for

Moms Demand Action and the mother of three school-age kids in Richardson.

There’s no harm in shielding them from news about school shootings since they are statistically rare. • Remember to use simple language, and don’t say more than is needed. • Reassure them that the adults are working to keep them safe.

GRADES 6–8:

• Make a point to do one-on-one activities with your child after a lockdown drill or an event in the news. Chores, errands with car rides, or just watching TV together can give kids a chance to bring up the subject. • Use open-ended questions to engage with your child. “That was one of the [issues that came up] at a pop-up meeting I did after

Uvalde,” Taylor shares. “[Parents] wanted to know, ‘How do I talk to my kid about this?’

You want to ask them: What have you heard?

What do you know? How are you feeling?” • Validate their feelings and reassure them about efforts by their school and the community to keep them safe.

GRADES 9–12 AND COLLEGE STUDENTS:

• Assume they have heard about any events that make the news. • If they aren’t with you, text or call them to let them know you’re available to talk. • Open-ended questions are key for this age group, too. Try “What have you heard about what happened today?” or “What do you know?” Also, “How are you feeling?” “What’s going on in your head?” and “How are your friends reacting?” • Watch out for isolating behaviors—such as excessive reading, gaming, watching TV, or social media use—that can indicate anxiety or depression.