ANN’S FASHION FORTUNES By Ann Rosenquist Fee
No one cares about your (jeans) (fringe) (any of it) DEAR ANN: How old is too old for a guy to be wearing skinny jeans? I’m a 37-year-old cis-whitehetero-male, and true to what I expect you may assume, I do not spend a lot of time shopping. It’s been ingrained in me that my mom or my partner will tell me what to wear. Fashion and style were like languages I wasn’t meant to learn. To my knowledge, there is not a guidance pipeline for my demographic save for Old Navy commercials. I know the bar is low, for me. Jeans and a T-shirt, you know? Even faux pas like socks and sandals are written off because I’m supposed to be clueless. There’s no shame because there’s no expectation, except that there is shame. It’s like my options are either that I don’t care, or if I did care I would’ve figured it out already. Something about my life should have answered the question of what I wear: Farmer? Carhart. Lawyer? Ties. Play golf? Polos. It seems there aren’t clothes that men wear; there are clothes that types of men wear. Do men’s identities define their wardrobe in a way different from anyone who isn’t a CWHM? When I do commit to buying, say, a pair of jeans, I’m wracked with self-doubt that I’ve made a huge mistake because they’re too tight, too stretchy, too … telling. They broadcast the fact that I don’t know what I’m doing. I want to manifest confidence in my aesthetic, so that when I do want to look a certain way, at least I look as if I have the skill set to make the necessary choices. Thank you in advance for any advice.
40 • DECEMBER 2021 • MANKATO MAGAZINE
North Mankato’s Dan Bacula may or may not explore skinny jeans as host of The Circle Inn’s comedy open mic 7-10 p.m. Sundays DEAR READER: Your painstaking analysis of who wears what suggests that you do indeed have the skill set to make suitable wardrobe choices. What appears lacking is thorough inquiry relative to the “something about my life” that determines what you, personally, wear. It sounds like you’re far enough into adulthood to have taken some stabs at things like “purpose in life” or “what I’m all about.” I suggest you give yourself a time-certain
period, like maybe the remainder of your 30s, to experiment with style choices that convey your raison d’être. And then watch how the world receives you. S o m e t i m e s i t ’s a f f i r m a t i o n (“Whoa, those cargo pants are definitely ironic when paired with thrifted cashmere which definitely tells me you have an MFA in creative writing”) that indicates you’ve nailed it. Sometimes it’s the opposite, and you discover that
