4 minute read
Ann’s Fashion Fortunes
from Mankato Magazine
By Ann Rosenquist Fee
No one cares about your (jeans) (fringe) (any of it)
Advertisement
DEAR ANN: How old is too old for a guy to be wearing skinny jeans?
I’m a 37-year-old cis-whitehetero-male, and true to what I expect you may assume, I do not spend a lot of time shopping. It’s been ingrained in me that my mom or my partner will tell me what to wear. Fashion and style were like languages I wasn’t meant to learn. To my knowledge, there is not a guidance pipeline for my demographic save for Old Navy commercials.
I know the bar is low, for me. Jeans and a T-shirt, you know? Even faux pas like socks and sandals are written off because I’m supposed to be clueless. There’s no shame because there’s no expectation, except that there is shame.
It’s like my options are either that I don’t care, or if I did care I would’ve figured it out already. Something about my life should have answered the question of what I wear: Farmer? Carhart. Lawyer? Ties. Play golf? Polos. It seems there aren’t clothes that men wear; there are clothes that types of men wear. Do men’s identities define their wardrobe in a way different from anyone who isn’t a CWHM?
When I do commit to buying, say, a pair of jeans, I’m wracked with self-doubt that I’ve made a huge mistake because they’re too tight, too stretchy, too … telling. They broadcast the fact that I don’t know what I’m doing. I want to manifest confidence in my aesthetic, so that when I do want to look a certain way, at least I look as if I have the skill set to make the necessary choices. Thank you in advance for any advice. North Mankato’s Dan Bacula may or may not explore skinny jeans as host of The Circle Inn’s comedy open mic 7-10 p.m. Sundays
DEAR READER: Your painstaking analysis of who wears what suggests that you do indeed have the skill set to make suitable wardrobe choices. What appears lacking is thorough inquiry relative to the “something about my life” that determines what you, personally, wear.
It sounds like you’re far enough into adulthood to have taken some stabs at things like “purpose in life” or “what I’m all about.” I suggest you give yourself a time-certain period, like maybe the remainder of your 30s, to experiment with style choices that convey your raison d’être. And then watch how the world receives you.
Sometimes it’s affirmation (“Whoa, those cargo pants are definitely ironic when paired with thrifted cashmere which definitely tells me you have an MFA in creative writing”) that indicates you’ve nailed it. Sometimes it’s the opposite, and you discover that
disappointment is the best because it means you’re doing your thing, not theirs (“I mean, why did you shave it though? Are you growing it back?”).
When you feel too insecure to continue, remember that every grownup who strikes you as confidently stylish has been through similar trials, albeit in junior high. You are late to the game, cis white hetero man, but we welcome you to the team and look forward to your skinny jeans or whatever lies ahead.
DEAR ANN: Is fringe still OK? I have to go to a wedding and I don’t want to buy something new to wear. The only wedding-appropriate thing I have is a silky shift dress with a matching scarf. That's where the fringe comes in, on the scarf. It’s very long. It’s like the whole point of the outfit. The dress is old but it fits and I love it. I don’t love giving up a whole Saturday for this wedding and having to buy something new would not help. Please advise.
DEAR READER: I’m going to tell you something about modern weddings and you’re not going to like it on a big-picture core-values level, but it’s definitely going to free you from the need to buy something new to wear, so bear with me: Never in the history of time has your attire mattered less. This is because weddings themselves — the ceremony, the reception, the in-between time when chalkboards cheerily direct guests to enjoy croquet or a coffee bar or a silly-hat photo booth — are merely stagings for the photos that’ll later be shared on social media that will constitute the real happening. Unless you’re in the wedding party or the immediate family, you’ll never appear in focus. You and your outfit will be reduced to a pleasing, unremarkable blur. An affront to your values? Maybe. Complete and total relief of the burden of what to wear, because all that matters is that you’re there, bonus if you’re comfortable? Yep.
Got a question? Submit it at annrosenquistfee.com (click on Ann’s Fashion Fortunes). Ann Rosenquist Fee is executive director of the Arts Center of Saint Peter and host of Live from the Arts Center, a music and interview show Thursdays 1-2 p.m. on KMSU 89.7FM.
9 Beautifulways towearopaljewelry StillTimeFor Wonderful Custom S fortheHolidays! GoldJewelry ForYour G SpecialOne!
Goldsmith&GalleryOwnerPattyConlin 420N.Minnesota,St.Peter,MN Goldsmith&GalleryOwnerPattyConlin 420N.Minnesota,St.Peter,MN 507-934-5655•stonesthrowgallery.org 507-934-5655•stonesthrowgallery.org
