Weekend Tribune Vol 3 Issue 42

vol 3 Issue 42 | FRIDAY, February 12, 2016

Dhaka Tribune

14

Reel Love

15

Alternative lifestyle

16 Virtual love

CONTENTS

1

Volume 3 | Issue 42 | February 12, 2016 News

2 News 3 Meanwhile

Editor Zafar Sobhan

Features

Features Editor Sabrina Fatma Ahmad

4 Tailored

Asst Magazine Editor Farina Noireet

5 Trending

9 Photo Story

Weekend Tribune Team Saudia Afrin Moumita Ahmed N Anita Amreen Sakib Mridha Saqib Sarker Syeda Samira Sadeque Mahmood Sadi Shuprova Tasneem

Pohela Falgun

Advertisement Shahin Ahsan Production Masum Billah Circulation Masud Kabir Pavel Website dhakatribune.com/weekend facebook.com/WeekendTrib Email your letters to: weekend@dhakatribune.com

6 Food

Valentines special

8 Mass Media

World Radio Day

9 Photo Story

Pohela Falgun

Review

15 Romance Alternative lifestyle 16 Relationships Virtual love 17 Evolution Romance

Cartoons Syed Rashad Imam Tanmoy Priyo

Colour Specialist Shekhar Mondal

Women’s Fashion

12 Living

Contributors Minu Ahmed Iresh Zaker

Graphics Md Mahbub Alam Alamgir Hossain Tahsin Momin

Men’s Fashion

Regulars

14

18 Stay In 19 Go Out 20 The Bong Momma

Musings Reel Love

About the cover

Editor’s note Dear Readers,

February in Bangladesh is always a delight for any magazine editor, because there’s just so much happening. The next two days are going to be chock-full of little happenings in and around town, so we decided to just go with the mood and dive right in.

From fashion advice for the two days, to lovely recipes to share with your loved ones, we’ve got both Pohela Falgun and Valentine’s Day covered. Our photo story captures the celebration of spring, while we explore different dimensions of romance in today’s lifestyle. Iresh

Zaker dishes out on romance in the small screen. We explore Tinder love, and how romances have evolved over the past few decades, and also how the LGBT community finds love in the virtual world.

Did you know that in addition to being the first official day of spring, tomorrow is also World Radio Day? We’ve got a few factoids for you here too.

Finally, the Bong Momma tackles teething problems with Jellybean.

Have a great weekend! Don’t forget to smell the flowers - Sabrina Fatma Ahmad

Spring or love, Say it with flowers

Photo: Zia Uddin Models: Rizwana Alam, Ivana Asfara

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2 News | This week

Outrage at North Korea rocket launch On February 7, North Korea launched

move, saying it was definitely a

a long-range rocket and violated

disguised ballistic missile test, and an

UN resolutions, following another

emergency meeting was held by the

nuclear test that occurred last month.

UN Security Council.

On the day, North Korean state media

Since then, Japan has decided

claimed it was a successful mission to

to impose new sanctions on North

put a satellite into space, and vowed

Korea, which will include expanded

to continue launching ‘satellites’

restrictions on travel between the

as a part of their scientific space

two countries and a complete ban

programme.

on visits by North Korean ships to

South Korea, Japan, the US and Russia have all condemned the

Sanders wins in New Hampshire, but so does Trump

Japanese ports.

Photo: Al Jazeera In a surprise win on both sides,

of two outsider candidates is being

Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders

considered as a remarkable rebuke

took the lead over Hillary Clinton

to the US political establishment.

in the Democratic primary, whereas

At his victory party, Sanders

billionaire businessman Donald

stated - “together we have sent the

Trump also won the Republican

message that will echo from Wall

contest in New Hampshire.

Trump’s win solidifies his frontrunner

Forensic team finds remains in Mexico dump

The world at a glance Weekend Tribune Desk

Argentine forensic experts said on

different people ranging between 15

February 9 that they had founds

and 38 years of age. However, so far the

the remains of 10 people in a

remains of only one of the 43 students

dump in southwestern Mexico,

have been positively identified.

where the government claimed 43

The southwestern state of

Street to Washington, from Maine to California, and that is that the government of our green country

status in the

belongs to all of the people and not

race to the

just a handful of wealthy campaign

the party’s presidential

contributors.”

In his victory speech, Trump said

nominee in

Sanders “wants to give away our

2016.

country”, and pledged to “knock the

The success

hell out” of IS fighters.

Photo: Al Jazeera

Bangladeshi athletes make nation proud at SA Games On February 7, Bangladeshi lifter

Bangladesh also earned their first

missing students were incinerated

Guerrero, where the incident took

Mabia Akhter Simanto clinched the

silver medal in the event courtesy

by local drug-related gang

place, is one of the most violent

first gold medal for the country in

of wrestler Rina Akter, who grabbed

members in 2014. At the time, the

regions of the country, with various

the 12th South Asian Games in the

second place in the women’s 60kg

disappearance of these students

drug gangs fighting over control of a

women’s 63 kg weight category

wrestling event. With Simanta and

sparked an international outcry

growing opium-smuggling business.

of weightlifting. She was closely

Mahfuza’s success, Bangladesh had

followed by swimmer Mahfuza

18 medals in the bag, with 13 bronze,

the lives of more than 100,000

Khatun Shila, who won not one, but

three silver and two gold medals as

people in Mexico since 2007.

two gold medals in the women’s

of February 7, 2016.

Photo: Reuters

100m breaststroke category.

Source: Dhaka Tribune

over human rights abuse and forced disappearances in Mexico.

Forensic experts found various teeth and bone fragments of 19

Drug-related violence has taken

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 12, 201 6

. . . Meanwhile

3

Photo of the week

Horsing around in front of the Curzon Hall, at Dhaka University.

Photo: Mahmud Hossain Opu

say what?

Bizarre worm-shaped object on Red Planet sparks claim it is 100% proof of life on Mars A strange shape was said to resemble

slope in the dunes and across at a right

a segmented worm found in NASA

angle to a ridge of sand down the drop.

images taken on sand dunes in Mars,

UFO buff Scott C Waring is

prompting claims it is proof of life on

convinced it is 100 per cent proof of life

the Red Planet.

on Mars. However, NASA has made no

On January 29th, the unusual shape was caught on camera by the NASA

observation on the small object.

He said: “There is life on Mars and

Curiosity Rover - a 4WD drone which is

this is absolute 100 per cent proof of

scouring the Red Planet surface for the

life on Mars. It is a worm with an exo-

US space agency.

skeleton. It is an armoured, segmented

The rover, which is currently exploring sand dune areas of the Red

worm.�

Of course, there is nothing to

Planet, beams the images back to earth

suggest the shape is a life form just

before NASA posts them online,

from the picture, but it certainly looks

The weird shape appears to be on a

unusual. n

News and Photo: express co uk

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4 Tailored | Men’s Fashion

Perfect to a T 20 Mahmood Hossain

Y

ou guys feeling the warmth already? Ah, the smell of spring is right around the corner. You know what that

means. T-shirts galore, and it would be a disservice if you didn’t bask in its newest glory. The new year and new season brings about more attention to a couple different t-shirts you should be rocking and how to rock them.

Trifectar The key to wearing t-shirts in spring is about keeping things as simple as possible. While crazy designs, icons and prints are fun, the emphasis should fall on small yet significant details. A solid plain t-shirt with a stiched triangle at the neck is a nice little throwback to old-fashioned sweatshirts. The stiches up front (that may resemble a Dorito) actually put a little character to a simple and plain t-shirt.

Try a little colour It’s always safe to go out and grab yourself a black, white or grey t-shirt so you don’t complicate things. But it’s spring! Welcome the new season and warmth with the right colours.

Depending on your skin tone, try out a mellow hue. Instead of something digustingly bright orange that might make a blind man see again, get yourself a sorbet. Remember, you want to look and feel cool in the warmer months, and not stand out like a sore thumb.

To the touch You’ve got the details, the colour and now for the actual feel. You’ll see

Illustration: Priyo/Dhaka Tribune

plenty of rough and slubby fabrics in a variety of brands. The whole idea behind this is to add more texture to a

Most of those runway and high-

most important, is the fit. You know

solid coloured, no pattern t-shirt. And

fall just above your biceps, which

end fashion tees are really thin

where we’re going with this. Slim fit

with the right colour and tone, you

will expose your arm pits so don’t

and hang down to your crotch.

is the best fit. Always remember, snug

can see the beauty in the texture and

forget to trim or shave.

The t-shirts that you should be

fit, not squeezing the life out of you.

No matter the price or brand of

aiming for have thicker fabric and

You don’t live in the Jersey Shore and

Now that you’ve gotten the choice

your t-shirt the best ones will

the hemline drops right on your

no one wants to see your nipples on

t-shirts on the list, here’s how to make

have a pocket up front, high-up

beltline.

display covered in a modest veil. n

sure everything is on point.

on your left breast.

simplicity.

•

•

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 12, 201 6

The sleeves on a t-shirt should

•

Last but not least, and obviously the

Women’s Fashion | Trending

5

Double Whammy What to wear during the backto-back February events Sabrina Fatma Ahmad

S

pring and love, love and

the day of love, and a unisex shade if

spring, chasing each other

done right.

through February. While this brings a lot of fun offers our

The other thing you could do is to take the real common element of the

way (Deals! Discounts! Promotions!

two events – flowers- and incorporate

Events!), getting dressed to make most

it into your wardrobe. Try an elegant

of the back-to-back whammy of Pohela

vintage Victorian floral print, which

Falgun and Valentine’s Day, two events

is all the rage this season, or put the

that traditionally have had different

bloom in your accessories with floral

aesthetics?

headbands, pins and brooches.

Middle ground

The duds for the do

Tradition favours yellow for Falgun,

For the campus spring fest : Many

and red for Valentine’s. In recent years,

university campuses are doing a two-

designers have been travelling up and

day fest, with poetry, and music. You

down the shade spectrum in order to

could wear your taat saris for each,

add more variety, which is why we

but let’s face it – after a whole day of

get shades of orange and green for

classes and cultural events, you’re

February 13, and pink and purple for

going to end up looking pretty worn

the following day. If you’re planning

down. Block printed cotton shalwar

to make one outfit do double duty,

kameezes provide more mobility, and

however, your best bet? Coral. Just

are easier to cover up with (although

families actually do go the dawat and

orangey enough to be Falgun-friendly,

not as fun to accessorise).

musical afternoon route, and this

and just red enough to pass muster for

Spring soiree with the fam: Some

is the perfect place to try out those cotton saris in a nice garden print.

Date night: You want something flirty and feminine, but not too edgy, or risqué, and at the same time, you want to be yourself. We’d advise something along the lines of a top with a peekaboo lace panel, worn with a maxi skirt, or a long, but fitted kameez – or for a change, a long jumpsuit.

Saris are probably not a good idea for the first date, because it looks like too much work, even when it isn’t.

Wear a medium rise heel, and make a little effort with makeup – but save the falsies and heavy contouring for another day. And ladies, easy on the bling.

Galentine’s Day – If your two-day celebration pretty much involves a wild time with your gal pals and BFF’s, this is the one you bring out all your edgy outfits for. Crop tops, kooky heels, wild make-up. Think of all the selfies! This is the perfect time to add some spice to your lived-in friendship and tap into your inner fashionista.

Netflix and chill: Even if you’ve got no plans for the day, there’s no reason not to wear something cute – as a reminder that you’re dressing up for you, and that you’re worth dressing up for. So break out those athleisure joggers, and that comfy light sweater, push up the sleeves and add a little arm candy, and you’re ready for a movie marathon. n

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6 Food | Valentines special

Foodie love This Valentines Day, go all out in preparing the perfect romantic meal.

Indulge in mouthwatering recipes that hit all the right spots – from something spicy to bring up the heat in the room to ending the evening with delicate sweet treats – we’ve got it all covered this week

Insalata di Frutti di Mare (Sicilian Seafood Salad)

Recipes and photos:: Amari Dhaka

Creole Shrimp Jambalaya

Ingredients:

2 tbsp chopped fresh parsley

For the seafood and poaching

leaves

liquid:

2 large garlic cloves, finely

1 celery stalk

chopped

1 medium carrot

6 tbsp freshly squeezed lemon

1 small onion, halved

juice (about 2 lemons or 3 limes)

1 bay leaf

1 tbsp white wine vinegar

3 tbsp freshly squeezed lemon

1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil

juice (about 1 lemon)

1/2 tsp kosher salt

1 tsp kosher salt

½ tsp chilli flakes

1 litre water

Freshly ground black pepper

1 lb cleaned calamari, cut into

6 to 8 cups baby lettuce

1-inch-thick rings 1/2 lb sea or bay scallops, foot

Method:

removed

Poach seafood in poaching liquid

1 lb medium to large shrimp

until all the seafood is cooked through. Dunk in the ice cold

For the salad:

water to stop overcooking.

1 cup julienned celery

Mix the seafood with the salad

¼ cup sliced onion

ingredients and serve cold.

Method: Heat a large pot over high heat until hot, and then reduce heat to medium.

Ingredients:

so everything in the pot cooks evenly.

Add rice, thyme, bay leaves, paprika,

(This will allow the heat to be uniform

red pepper to pot, and cook, stirring

all over, preventing those little hot

often, three minutes. Increase heat to

3 tbsp butter

1 teaspoon dried thyme

spots that are likely to burn.) Season

high, and add tomatoes and chicken

4 skinned and de-boned chicken

2 bay leaves

chicken thighs with kosher salt and

stock. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to

thighs, cut into 1-inch cubes

1 1/2 tablespoons smoked paprika

black pepper. Add the chicken to pot,

medium-low; cover pot, and simmer 15

Salt

1 teaspoon ground red pepper

and cook, stirring often, 5 minutes or

minutes.

Freshly ground black pepper

1 cup canned crushed tomatoes

until chicken is brown.

1 large onion, diced

2 cups basic chicken stock

1 bell pepper, diced

1 1/2 pounds raw shrimp, peeled and

Add onion to pot, and cook about 15

onions. Turn off the heat, and let

3 celery ribs, diced

de-veined

minutes or until soft. Add bell pepper,

everything continue to cook in the hot

3 garlic cloves, minced

1 bunch green onions, chopped

celery, and garlic, and cook five

covered pot ten more minutes. Remove

2 cups Jasmine rice

1 tsp Creole Seasoning

minutes. Continue stirring occasionally

the lid, fluff the jambalaya, and serve.

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 12, 201 6

Increase heat to medium-high.

After the rice has simmered for 15 minutes, fold in the shrimp and green

7 Chitol Maccher Kofta

Tod Mun Goong

Ingredients:

1/2 tbsp flour

Ingredients:

250g Chitol fish, minced

Oil for frying

200g minced prawn

Oil for deep-frying

20g chopped garlic

Method:

50g chopped onions

Mix all the ingredients, except

Mix all the ingredients in a bowl to

20g chopped chillies

breadcrumbs and oil, in a bowl until

1/2 tbsp green chillies, finely chopped

make a firm dough mixture.

10g coriander root

well combined. Take one tablespoon

1/2 tbsp coriander leaves

Take two tablespoons of the mixture

5g chopped lemon-grass

of the mixture and shape into a

1/2 tsp turmeric powder

and make an even ball. Meanwhile,

5g salt

doughnut. Coat the prawn sake with

Salt

put a wok on fire and add oil. When

5g sugar

the breadcrumbs and fry in the hot oil

1 egg

the oil is heated put in the fish ball

10g flour

until golden brown.

1 slice of bread, soaked in water and

and fry till golden brown.

1 tsp oyster sauce

Serve with chilli sauce of choice of

pressed dry

Serve with chili sauce and lemon

½ tsp Maggi ketchup

dipping. n

1/4 tsp black pepper

wedges.

50g breadcrumb

1/2 tsp ginger, finely chopped 1/2 tsp, garlic, finely chopped

Method:

1/2 tbsp onion, finely chopped

Chicken Peri Peri Ingredients: 1.3kg chicken 3 sprigs of fresh thyme 4 cloves of garlic 1 teaspoon sweet smoked paprika Salt freshly ground black pepper Olive oil 2 red onions 4 ripe tomatoes, mixed colours if possible 6 fresh chillies, mixed colours if possible red wine vinegar extra virgin olive oil For the jalapeño salsa: 1 x 200g jar of pickled jalapeños 1 bunch of fresh coriander

Method: Using a sharp knife, carefully cut the chicken in half along the backbone.

Pick the thyme leaves into a pestle

preheat the oven to 180ºC/350ºF/

the onions, then add all the vegetables

tray, then pop in the hot oven for 45

and mortar, peel and add 1 garlic

gas 4. Place a large griddle pan

to a food processor with a splash

minutes, or until cooked through.

clove, then add the paprika and a

over a high heat. Quarter the

of red wine vinegar and a good lug

To make the jalapeño salsa,

pinch of salt. Bash to a paste, then

unpeeled onions and halve any

of extra virgin olive oil. Blitz until

drain and add the jalapeños to a

muddle in two tablespoons of olive

larger tomatoes, then place on the

smooth, then add a splash of water to

food processor with a splash of the

oil. Rub the marinade all over the

hot griddle with the chillies and the

loosen, if needed. Season to taste.

pickling juice. Tear in the coriander

chicken. Cover and place in the fridge

remaining unpeeled garlic cloves.

Return the griddle pan to a high heat,

(stalks and all) and add a splash of

to marinate for at least two hours, or

Grill for five to ten minutes, or until

add the marinated chicken and sear all

extra virgin olive oil. Blitz well until

charred all over, turning regularly.

over for eight to ten minutes, turning

smooth. Serve the roast chicken with

regularly. Transfer to a roasting

jalapeño salsa.

preferably overnight.

When you’re ready to cook,

Remove the garlic skins and peel

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8 Mass media | World Radio Day

Fun Facts about the History of Bangladesh Betar:

• In 1924, a club called Radio Madras Presidency Amateur Radio Club first took initiative to launch radio broadcasting in British India.

• In 1927, Indian Broadcasting Company (IBC), a private enterprise, set up two medium wave transmitters in Mumbai and Kolkata.

• In 1930, the Government of India took over these stations and formed the Indian State Broadcasting Service (ISBS).

In 1936, the ISBS was renamed All India Radio (AIR) and three more radio stations were commissioned in Kolkata, Chennai and Mumbai.

FM February

• In 1939, as World War II broke out, the British government set up six more stations. This is when a station was set up in Dhaka along with stations in Karachi, Lucknow, Lahore, Peshawar, and Tiruchi.

• On December 16, 1939, the first and oldest station of Bangladesh Betar went on air, broadcasting from Dhaka.

Saqib Sarker What is it?

it is very easy and inexpensive to own a

February 13 with the rest of the world.

This day of observance came into being

radio receiver set, radio can potentially

“We have programmes planned for all

following a recommendation from the

reach people who do not have access

the Betar centres across the country,”

Executive Board of UNESCO to the

to other forms of media. It does in fact

informed BB Director Anwar Hossain

General Conference. It was approved by

reach the widest audience in the world.

Mridha.

the General Conference during its 36th

Because of its tremendous reach and

Following a rally, BB will organise a

session and February 13 became the

importance, particularly its use in times

listening conference on the day. It will

World Radio Day. It is being observed

of disaster, it is a worthy candidate,

also arrange documentary screening at

worldwide since 2012.

according to UNESCO.

the National Broadcasting at Agargaon.

Why World Radio Day?

Bangladesh Betar Programmes

Radio has the unique ability to reach

Bangladesh Betar (BB) is going to

the remotest of communities. Because

commemorate and observe the day on

[“Radio is specifically suited to reach remote communities and vulnerable people: the illiterate, the disabled, women, youth and the poor, while offering a platform to intervene in the public debate, irrespective of people’s educational level. Furthermore, radio has a strong and specific role in emergency communication and disaster relief.” - UNESCO]

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 12, 201 6

A magazine is also scheduled to be published on the occasion of World Radio Day.

• It was known as “Dhaka Dhawani Bistar Kendra” (Dhaka Audio Broadcasting Station). The office for the radio station was housed in a rented building in Nazimuddin Road, which is now Sheikh Borhanuddin College.

• The transmitter for the station was installed at Kallayanpur.

Its range was 20-25 miles by night and 30-45 miles by day.

• This transmitter is now preserved in the Bangladesh Betar museum. n

Pohela Falgun | Photo Story

9

Say it with flowers Photos: Syed Zakir Hossain

As Bangladeshis, we will practically take up any excuse to celebrate an occasion, and the welcoming of a new season is certainly a valid cause. With Pohela Falgun coming up tomorrow, many places around the country will be hosting cultural events, attracting throngs of bright yellow-clad men, women and children, all looking to celebrate the advent of the season of flowers.

This week’s photo story features moments of fun and festivities surrounding this nationwide celebrated occasion.

WE E K E N D TR I BU N E | FR I DAY, FE B R UARY 1 2, 20 1 6

10 Photo Story | Pohela Falgun

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 12, 201 6

11

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12 Living | Review

The suite life An argument for the service apartment Sabrina Fatma Ahmad

A

Photos: Mahmud Hossain Opu

s rising skylines and growing

A room with a view

population density puts

Imported European furniture, Egyptian cotton sheets, it’s easy to think of this as a hotel. However, at USD 175++ per night

living spaces at a premium

for the Deluxe Suite and USD 196 ++ for the Premium Suite, you’re getting a luxury experience at way less than you’d shell

in this city, its increasingly

out at a hotel.

cosmopolitan residents are ever on the search for an outlet, and the next new “happening” event. And as life gets busier, and help more scarce, even the

SPACE

smallest break from routine becomes

APARTMENTS

something to be grabbed with both

is located at

hands at every opportunity. Travel,

Plot 14/B, Road 57,

while certainly the most ideal solution,

Gulshan-2, Dhaka

is not always possible.

Tel : +88029852080

Hotels, and spas have certainly been

www.

capitalising on this need to escape, with

spaceapartments.

relaxation package offers, and they

com

certainly have their work cut out for them.

And then there is the service apartment. It’s NOT a hotel, as the

Hit refresh

admin and staff will remind you, but

Kitted out with American

it comes with all the conveniences of

Standard fittings, the

a boutique hotel. And it’s not home,

tap water is ICDDRB-

exactly, but has all the intimacy and

approved and completely

relaxation of a night in at home. Too

drinkable, and the rain

good to be true? You decide.

shower is a treat.

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 12, 201 6

13

Home and away Each suite comprises a single bedroom, attached to living room, kitchenette, work space, dining space, and bathroom. The versatility makes it ideal for extended stays. What you’re getting at these serviced apartments is – as the name of the establishment suggests, space – and a lot more of it. These roomy suites are 650 sft for the Deluxe Suite, and 700 sft for the Premium Suite.

A serene welcome

Sweat it out The rooftop Infinity gym has a small but impressive collection of top-of-the line

In keeping with its name, Space Apartments sports an edgy, minimalistic look. With

gym equipment. The aerial view makes the workout experience that much more

clean lines and a soothing neutral palette, the place oozes serenity.

energising.

Chef in the house House Cafe, the in-house coffee shop/restaurant offers an eclectic menu, prepared lovingly by their Sri Lankan chef.

February Steak Deal Your choice of Rump Steak, Fillet Mignon, Prime Rib Eye, or T-bone, cooked

Valentine’s promotion

to perfection with a side of mashed potatoes, grilled vegetables and rosemary

This Valentine’s Day, pamper your loved one with a choice of not one, but three

mushroom emulsion, and an accompanying drink, at Tk 1000/head all-inclusive.

set menus, lovingly designed to tickle the tastebuds.

WE E K E N D TR I BU N E | FR I DAY, FE B R UARY 1 2, 20 1 6

14 Musings | Pop culture

Reel Love

What is Bangadeshi television getting wrong about relationships?

Iresh Zaker Illustration: Syed Rashad Imam Tanmoy/Dhaka Tribune

I

will try hard not make this article

failings of romantic portrayal will come

writers, director, and fellow artists

lengthen the shot to increase

a jeremiad on the sorry state

from ancient memory.

to believe that if they got the time to

footage. At some point, without

prepare then they would be able to do

having anything better to do, I

so.

will point towards something in

of affairs in the Bangladeshi television fiction world. Okay I

I think that relationships are difficult.

This is not so much philosophical

failed already. Not sure you can call

contemplation as hardcore practicality.

something sad and make the case that

I mean I AM 39 and still unmarried.

things I would immediately like to see

paramour to see. It’s not just me.

an article about that thing is not a song

I would imagine that writing about

eviscerated from romantic fiction on

Everyone and I mean EVERYONE

of lament. Be that as it may, it should

relationships is even more so. Various

Bangladeshi television.

does it. I don’t know where

be very clear that my dear Editor asked

nuances have to be explored and

me to write about what our fictions get

incorporated in order to make a fictional

wrong about relationships. I am not

Having said that, here are two

the distance for my on screen

this tradition started, though I The slow panning of the head.

suspect it may have been from the

relationship compelling and/or realistic.

Invariably there is that almost

early 80s insurance commercial

whining for whining’s sake, though that

That requires a lengthy and intensive

slow motion shot of the hero and

featuring an elderly couple, but I

by itself would be a fun exercise.

pre-production process. Since most

the heroine turning their noggin

think most would agree that time

of our productions are made under

to face their counterpart. This is

has come to put it to bed. These

It has been a while since I have done a

stringent financial and scheduling

usually accompanied by a pained

days I go to parks mostly alone

romantic role. Back in the day, when

constraints, there is simply not enough

or slightly enamoured facial

to run or walk. I see hundreds of

I did not have a white beard, some

logistical wherewithal to do justice to

expression. In fact, a couple of

couples, and not one of them is

people felt comfortable casting me

the pain and pleasure that relationships

years ago, I saw an entire trailer

pointing towards anything.

as a lovesick, if somewhat quirky and

can be. Most portrayals rely on the

that was comprised of nothing

bulky, romantic lead. These days, given

instinct of time strapped writers,

but various good looking people

that the make up artist has to spend

director and actors, and consequently

turning their heads slowly. No does

artifacts will probably not significantly

a bulk of his day painting my various

rise to the superficial surface instead

that in real life, and I really wish

improve our romantic fiction but it

visible follicles black, and it is getting

of sinking to the depths of brilliance.

that we gave it up on tv.

will be the starting point in terms of

increasingly difficult to cast me as a

Which is why we actors, and I am sure

Pointing towards some unseen

giving me some peace. Next in line,

young lover without making things

the audience, find most of our roles

point of interest during a romantic

dramatically and radically changing the

appear very disturbing, my casting

to be repetitive and shallow. I am not

walk layered over with sweet

entire television industry. But that is

offers usually oscillate between the

an expert on relationships so I can’t

music. My co-artist and I will be

for next 14th of February. Meanwhile,

deranged and the villainous (sometimes

say how we can make the portrayals

trudging along being cute and

Happy Valentines day everyone! Don’t

both). So whatever I write about the

right but I am confident enough in my

being in love. The director will

forget to tip the production boy! n

I should make something clear first.

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 12, 201 6

1.

2.

Giving up these two annoying

Alternative lifestyle | Romance

15

In search for love

How social media platforms are making it easier for the gay community to be visible to each other Syeda Samira Sadeque

T

wenty year old Zaman

even greater threat – the fear of being

spends his days studying,

exposed.

“There’ve been quite a few

being involved with various

instances of people being trapped and

social causes, and dreaming

blackmailed into paying high amount of

of his knight in shining armor.

“When I was small, I always had

extortion money,” says Xulhaz Mannan,

a dream that one day, my knight in

volunteer at Roopbaan. “Those meeting

shining armor would sweep me off

people through Facebook are more

my feet. My mother would correct me

prone to being in these situations.”

When faced with such situations,

saying it would be a princess, not a knight,” he laughs as he tells me. “But

the victims are likely to pay the money

I would correct her back. I want my

out of fear, and don’t even think of

knight.”

reporting it to the police since that would cause further backlash and

Zaman, a student at Dhaka

harassment.

University, says he was aware of his

Xulhaz says he himself has heard of

sexual orientation from as far as he could remember – he just didn’t know

at least six such cases in 2015 alone, a

how to term it.

worrying figure. “I didn’t used to think of this issue earlier – but if I’ve alone

“I always knew I was different, not like the others,” says Zaman,

heard of six cases, imagine how many

recounting how he would marry his

such cases there actually are.”

male dolls from a really early age, sparking questions and curiosity among

An active community

his cousins who he played with.

While the LGBT community in

Today, although a lot of people in

Illustration: Syed Rashad Imam Tanmoy/Dhaka Tribune

his circle have come to know about

quite active. There are numerous activities and researches going on in

his sexual orientation, he still belongs to a discreet community of Lesbian

Bangladesh is still discreet, it’s

It prompted him to search for

Both Asif and Zaman have met

the field. In 2014, BoB and Roopbaan

Gay Bisexual Transgendered (LGBT)

“Bangladesh gay” on social media

partners through the BoB network,

jointly conducted a survey on 571

members, many of whom draw

site Facebook, which led him to BoB’s

Facebook, as well as other dating

self-identified LGB individual and

support from networks such as Boys

account – and that was the beginning of

website for the gay community such

released a report on the situation of

of Bangladesh (BoB) and Roopbaan,

a journey of self-discovery for Zaman.

as Grindr and Hornet. Asif says he has

the LGB community in Bangladesh,

often resorted to a “fake” or secondary

with support from India-based CREA.

a platform for Bangladeshi LGBT

He isn’t the only one. Social media

individuals which also published

has been a popular tool for many in the

account to ensure that his identity isn’t

Roopbaan has started its youth

the first-ever LGBT magazine in

gay community to reach out to others

compromised.

leadership programme to educate

Bangladesh in 2014.

as well as for finding a safe space.

BoB is the oldest network of self-

“I grew up in a village, so I didn’t

“When a community is not visible,

Bangladeshis – both in urban and rural

platforms such as these are really

areas – about gender and sexuality

identified Bangladeshi gay men and

even know what my feelings for

important where we can find out

through lectures, interactive sessions

women, and currently has a following

another man meant,” says Asif, 22, who

about each other, where we can find

and activities. Bandhu, an NGO since

of over 7,000 people on Facebook. The

currently lives and studies in Dhaka.

people we want to be with,” says

1996, has also started their operation

Zaman. “Facebook, Grindr etc are really

addressing the health and livelihood

was with a man who was then forced

important platforms for us, especially

issues of the hijra and transgender

to get married to a woman,” says Asif.

in a country like ours where LGBT

community, and are now slowly

Confused as to what his feelings meant,

rights aren’t respected.”

encompassing the LGBT umbrella as

organisation works as a safe space for the gay community in the country.

In search

“When I first experienced love, it

BoB is also the first thing Zaman came

he typed in “men loving men” on

across after he identified himself as gay.

Google.

“When I was in grade-8, I watched

And the world opened up. “That’s

well.

A rising concern

There is a long way to go for the

However, there are downsides to this

community to earn recognition but

the Bollywood film Dostana, and

when I learned that I wasn’t alone,

as well. Platforms such as Facebook,

platforms such as BoB, and Roopban

realised that the word was ‘gay’,” says

there were others like me,” says Asif.

or other such dating apps hold the risk

are increasingly making it easier for the

Zaman. Although he had been aware

With this affirmation, he searched for

of imposters and fake accounts. While

community to become visible within

that he was always attracted to men, it

the gay community in Bangladesh, and

that’s a concern in general for anyone

itself, and to those searching – literally –

was finally a relief to have a term for his

came across BoB, which turned out of

dating through apps and websites,

for such spaces across the country. n

identity.

be a safe space for him.

for the gay community it holds an

WE E K E N D TR I BU N E | FR I DAY, FE B R UARY 1 2, 20 1 6

16 Relationships | Virtual love

Love in the time of Tinder N Anita Amreen

the safety issues of meeting strangers over the Internet. Posted barely a month ago, DONT_Use_TiNDER_INBD claimed he was conned by a woman he met in Uttara. Asking him to drop her home, she guided their rickshaw into an empty alley where two men took his belongings while threatening him with a knife.

Most Tinder users we spoke to claimed they are extra careful about where they go for their first Tinder dates. While most weed out dodgy accounts by viewing their profiles, this can be difficult since many are connected to fake Facebook profiles

B

as well.

A growing market for Tinderellas

ack in the day, finding

swipe is “yes” and left is a “no”. If your

love online was a sweet

prospective match swipes right for

months and I’’ve had no matches other

A deeper look into Google Bangladesh

torment -an arduous quest

you too – congratulations! You’ve got a

than a pity swipe from a friend,” says

revealed there are others who take

full of nervous excitement.

match.

Naveed*. When asked what could

Tinder very seriously. Websites such

be the reason behind this dry spell,

as clickbd.com and guru.com have

he said: “I’m clearly too fat and not

sellers offering Tinder “PVA” (private

Ranging from aggressive requests for

“I’ve been on the app for eight

websex to humble chat invitations, the

Cupid’s lair or road to rejection?

options were endless. You could be girl_

It wasn’t until 2015 that Tinder

good looking enough.” With the rising

accounts) for Tk100. One ad on ClickBd

next_door_1 or sylhet_babe21. You could

gained momentum in Bangladesh.

number of rejections, he has revised his

was selling a US Tinder profile with

be Mr_Right hiding behind a Ms_Right

Although many people cited boredom

expectations and set his sight on just

three pictures, all for a mere Tk100

veil, but the beauty of the matter was

and curiosity as their reasons for

finding a match, if at all.

that can be bkashed or sent to a BRAC

– you could be anything and you’d still

downloading Tinder, in reality, many

be wanted.

hide behind these more acceptable

used the app “to find love and fun. My

reasons to secretly do just what the app

case is different since I was looking

looking for an expert who could join

you to create new identities, MSN was

is perfectly designed for. 28 year old

for a fling but not enough girls are on

a team that works on making 1000+

where you really revealed yourself.

Alif* reconnected with an old classmate

Tinder, maybe because they think it is

Facebook and Tinder accounts. The

Some virtual relationships blossomed,

over Tinder and is now in a steady

just for sex.” As a Bangladeshi visiting

listing reads: “I have big team, so

while others sizzled out with time.

relationship. “At first people laughed

from Canada, Promit’s prospects have

need urgent working system…so if

Soon after the era of MSN came Hi5 and

when we told them how we met, but

been brighter than Naveed’s.

anybody have tinder bot or facebook

Myspace, where all of a sudden love

now when they see how far we’ve come,

was no longer anonymous. With the

they don’t treat it as lightly,” Alif says.

While public chatrooms allowed

onslaught of Facebook, things took a

24 year old student Amreen

Promit Barua, on the other hand,

Tinder tragedy or comic relief?

bank account.

Another online job application was

account using system. Knock me, i want to do long time business, but

Known mostly as a raunchy gateway,

must need trusted,” with all applicants

drastic turn, with stalking and selfies

Rahman* gives us a sneak peak into her

Tinder comes with its share of bad

encouraged to contact skype ID ashifaf.

becoming second nature and profiles

Tinder account. In a 100 mile radius,

press. “I thought Tinder is for despos

sk/ype.

becoming a better representation of

there seemed to be an interesting

that have no life, but when I joined I

you than your national ID.

smattering of prospects – ranging

was surprised to find so many friends

low-key app to finding everything

Although Tinder is currently a

from students and employees of big

on it!” says Tanveer Ahmed*, 27 year

from idle chat to a man/woman

“dating” app that took the world by

companies to married men with photos

old entrepreneur. Although he joined

ready for a quick fling, the number

storm. Forget about fake identities and

of their wives and the odd passport

out of curiousity, Tanveer claims it is

of deshi Tinderella’s stepping into

strangers in love, Tinder is the raw deal

photo. Swiping, according to her, is

now his favourite avenue for comic

this territory is constantly growing.

that allows you to flick through a pool

based simply on looks: “If they look

relief.

With more and more people joining

of potentials and see if you’re up for a

good, it’s a right swipe.” Interestingly,

casual chat, getting hands on or even

while Amreen swiftly swiped left for

it’s a mean way to put it, but really,

is slowly dissipating to be replaced

getting down and dirty. With profiles

most of her prospects, it seemed the

it’s so much fun to be able to see what

by a more familial feeling of being

being linked to Facebook accounts,

right swipes were reserved for the

the Bangladeshi female market has to

the testosterone pumped men and

Tinder finds you matches based on

expats. Why this bias? “Well, I feel safer

offer.”

estrogen heavy women in what we

sex, age and distance from you. A

talking to a stranger than someone I

general Tinder profile consists of up

may have several mutual friends with.

Bangladesh revealed a reddit

to 5-6 photos and a small “about me”

People talk and that’s the last thing I’d

commentor who was mugged while out

Persons with * after their names have

section. In Tinder language, a right

want.”

on a Tinder date, raising red flags about

had their names changedn

And then Tinder arrived, an online

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 12, 201 6

“I’m not going to lie and I know

A quick Google search for Tinder

Tinder, the stigma attached to the app

now call the “Singles” club.

17

Romance | Evolution

Love timeline

The evolution of romance through the ages Moumita Ahmed

O

having love affairs were broken, as

writing was still the most popular

lovebirds in a group of friends. High

has taken various forms

young women started having secret

medium of sending messages of love.

school sweethearts were also widely

and paths. People have

relationships with their professors.

ver the years, romance

adopted different ways to

seen to take the next step in their

1990s

relationships, tying the knot.

express their love, and we have come a

1980s

long way in changing our perceptions

The era of the passionate and

strolling in the parks and watching

2000s

of romance. What once was seen

rebellious lovers, a time

shows in different matinees on the

With the start of the new millennium

The 90s was all about rickshaw rides,

as taboo is now hardly a matter of

and advances in technology, the young

concern.

generation became bolder and were

Once upon a time, it was easier

even less afraid of expressing their

to believe in the idea of love at

love. With the growing popularity

first sight. Maybe people

of cell phones, young teenagers

were more passionate

approached their crushes by

and believed more

sending texts. Girls and boys as

strongly in the idea of

young as 15/16 went on dates

true love back then.

after school, and being in a

From writing letters

relationship was starting to

to swipes on Tinder,

become normal. The use of

from long-lasting

social networks increased,

marriages to one

and lovers found new

night stands, love

mediums to express

has evolved at a

and show their love for

drastic rate in the

each other, and to the

last few decades.

world. As lovers dared

The meanings

to voice their romantic

of relationships

affairs, public display

have also

of affection gradually

changed through

increased during this

the ages, and

period.

it is not what it once used to

Present time

be. For our spring

Nowadays, love is all

Valentine’s issue,

about swiping right or

we take a look at how

left on online dating apps

romance has evolved

and judging suitors based

through the last few

on their Facebook profile pictures. Being with a person

decades.

1960/1970s This was the time when women

Ph

oto

does not necessarily mean :B

you are in a serious relationship,

igs

in our country became more mobile

it could also just be a casual affair,

toc

k

in public spaces, and were therefore

where one just needs a person to talk weekends.

It was not

to at the end of the day. As people are

more likely to meet members of the

when

opposite sex outside of their homes.

people would

getting busier and more practical by

More and more girls were studying

flout their strict parents’

in different colleges and universities,

rules and elope in order to be with

spying on each other through their

era increasingly more difficult to

leading to more interaction with the

their soul mates. Young men in love

windows and flirting from rooftops,

maintain. We are growing more and

boys they studied with or met through

were seen hanging around outside

mostly in the evenings. Secretly

more confused and impulsive, which

their studies. However, it was still

the gates of colleges in the city,

talking over land phones for hours and

leads us taking hasty decisions. In the

quite uncommon for the different

desperately attempting to hide their

hours was also a common trait among

age of social media and start-ups, we

sexes to openly interact in public,

nervous excitement while waiting for

all the lovers back in that time. The

are getting so obsessed with living in

as it was still not deemed socially

a chance to meet and impress the girl

number of love marriages increased as

the moment that we are coming close to

acceptable. Therefore, the only way

of their dreams. On the other hand,

society opened its mind and accepted

forgetting the true essence of love. n

that they could send messages to each

love affairs within families soared,

the concept of choosing whom to

other was through letters, filled with

as cousins started falling in love with

love on your own. It was common

words of love, which was a common

each other. Although this was the time

for friends to become more than just

practice at the time. The taboo of

of hurried secret conversations, letter

friends – it was easy to spot a pair of

uncommon to see young neighbours in love,

the day, love is not a priority anymore, making relationships in the modern

WE E K E N D TR I BU N E | FR I DAY, FE B R UARY 1 2, 20 1 6

Chinese horoscopes

18 stay in Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19) Hope for the best

Libra (Sep 23-Oct22) It is often hard to

dreaming are nearly over as reality hits

and prepare yourself for the worst

distinguish fact from fiction especially

you over the face quite abruptly with

situations this week. While this can

when you have to be the judge. By all

numbers to jot down. Weekend looks a

be an excellent opportunity to move

means lend your ears to the problem at

bit more chilled out and relaxed spent

in new circles, it might help to do a

hand but try not to get consumed by it.

with much needed quiet time.

little detective work before you get too

Mini cryptics Clues ACROSS 1 Alarm, ran about in part of big house (7) 4 The heartless pain of exams (7) 6 Month to be in Orange County river first (7) 7 Stamped on and made new rod dent (7) DOWN 1 Lacking humour, the old you inside (7) 2 Took exam again, a rest refreshed (5) 3 Spaceman joke before rain change (7) 5 Somewhere to sleep after I missed first lodge (5)

involved. This applies to budding relationships, too.

Taurus (Apr 20-May20) Be on the look out for opportunities where you can take charge and lead the way this week. This could benefit you professionally, emotionally and physically and give you the ‘pick me up’ you needed all this time.

Gemini (May 21-June 20) The maze of plans that are in your

Solved it? Email answers to weekend@dhakatribune. com and win one free month of the Dhaka Tribune.

head need to see the light of

Last week’s solutions

day, so maybe its about time you got creative. Share your ideas with your coworkers and friends and you might stumble upon something surprisingly beautiful.

Cancer (June 21-Jul22) Though you are not a perfectionist, you still want things to be done right this week. You’ll be wary of things around you and scrutinise every minute detail to see if everyone’s doing what they are Scorpio (Oct23-Nov21) Have some self

Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) Try

control and don’t touch that wallet;

surrounding yourself amidst new

Leo (Jul 23-Aug 22) This would be one

it’s for your own good. From now on if

people this week and see how it goes,

of those weeks for you where you’ll

you like something just look at it, don’t

if you’re a bookworm try being a party

start to see people for who they really

buy it.

girl. Change is good.

Sagittarius (Nov22-Dec 21) Get the

Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20) Be sure to turn

Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22) You are more

board together for drinks and a chat to

on your magnetic charm and take

likely to be productive in private this

discuss your ideas and plans about the

baby steps to go on to the next level.

week, by mulling your thoughts over

near future.

Careful, where you stand and good

supposed to.

are.

ACROSS 5 I remain confused about country (7) 6 Transport practise (5) 9 Important, a fifty after four in pot (7) DOWN 1 Talk up and score (3) 2 Get better after 8 Down journey? (7) 3 Worry about sort of tiny axe (7) 4 Profession spouse’s family are in? (3) 7 Choose mixed pot (3) 8 Magical being found in eel farm (3)

Sudoku

Use the numbers 1-9 to complete each of the 3x3 square grids such that each horizontal and vertical line also contains all of the digits from 1-9

luck. n

and working alone.

Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan19) Days of

Last week’s sudoku solutions

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 12, 201 6

Go out

Weekly Planner Feb 12-14

Photography | Life Around You

Rahman.

This programme is under EMK

When 3-8pm

Happy hour which is an EMK

Where Drik, House 58, Road 15A

initiative to feature young and

(New), Dhanmondi R/A

talented individuals or groups in

What Grasshoppers Photographers

arts, culture and performances.

Community invites everyone to

EMK Center is here to connect

the photography exhibition “Life

and to inspire. The objective of

Around You – 4”.

this programme is to connect the

This event will be held at Drik Gallery for three days starting on February 12. The exhibition will be open from 3pm till 8pm.

Renowned photographer Gmb Akash will be the guest judge at the event, which will be launched by well-known photographer Ziauddin.

Feb 13-18

Art and Culture | Art Exhibition: BANGLA AMAR DESH by Rubina & Sabina Khosseyn

brilliant minds with positive ethos for public service and arts.

Tickets at Tk100 will be available prior to the event.

Feb 18

Education | Admission Essay/ Personal statement Correction by an Expert

When 4pm

Asaduzzaman Noor, will

Where Shilpakala Academy,

inaugurate the exhibition as the

Segun Bagicha, Ramna

Chief Guest.

What Shilpakala Academy will be

Md Shahriar Alam, MP, State

When 3-4pm

hosting the inaugural ceremony

Minister, Ministry of Foreign

Where EducationUSA Bangladesh, J

of the Art Exhibition titled

Affairs, His Excellency Alexander

Block, Progoti Sharoni, Baridhara

“Bangla Amar Desh” of Russian

A Nikolaev, the Ambassador

What Application package for

twin sisters of Bangladeshi origin,

of Russian Federation in

US higher education consists

Rubina and Sabina Khosseyn

Bangladesh, Kalidas Karmakar,

of a number of components

on Saturday, February 13th at 4

nationally reputed artist and

When 3-8pm

and admission essay (personal

pm in the National Art Gallery

former Member of Parliament

Where Drik, House 58, Road 15A

statement) is one of them, and

Auditorium.

Nazma Akhter will be present as

(New), Dhanmondi R/A

a crucial element of the overall

What Dr Md Golam Rahman,

application package.

Feb 12-14

Photography | Rhythm-The First Solo Photography Exhibition By Dr. Md Golam Rahman

Professor in the Department

#EducationUSABanlgadesh

of Mass Communication and

is organizing a session for those

Journalism of the University of

students who have completed their

Dhaka, has visited many countries

essay and need to get a second

over the course of his life and has

opinion on their writing. Join the

captured many incredible moments

free session as per schedule.

through the lenses of his camera.

The exhibition will feature some of his photographs.

The event will be inaugurated by

Feb 5-28

Culture | Muslin Festival When 3:30pm onwards

Asaduzzaman Noor, MP, Minister

Where Bangladesh National

for Cultural Affairs. AAMS Arefin

Museum, Shahbag, Ramna

Siddique, Vice Chancellor of

What Drik would like to tell

University of Dhaka and eminent

everyone the story of Bengal

filmmaker and activist Nasir Uddin

Muslin, the fabled fabric of Bengal,

Yousuff will be also present at the

its unique history and contribution,

inauguration ceremony.

through a series of events and

Feb 13

Culture | EMK Happy Hour Presents: Morning to Midnight

The Exhibition will consist

special guests at the event.

of more than 40 artworks by the talented duo.

The event will be hosted by the Director General of

Minister for Cultural Affairs

Bangladesh Shilpakala Academy,

and Member of Parliament,

Liakat Ali Lucky.

Feb 13

Culture | The Book of Dhaka: Reading Excerpts

activities. Our aim is to recreate the story of this legendary textile that was used by Western and Mughal courts, raise awareness of its rich

When 7pm onwards

heritage and the distinctive impact

When 11am-12pm

Parvez Hossain, Rashida Sultana,

Where EMK Center, House 5, Road

it had upon the world in terms of

Where Red Shift Coffee Lounge,

Salma Bani, and Wasi Ahmed. The

16 (New) 27 (Old), 9th Floor, Midas

textile artistry and global trade.

Bays Galleria 5th floor, 57 Gulshan

stories have been translated by

Center, Dhanmondi

Muslin project is organised by Drik

Avenue, Gulshan-1

Dhaka Translation Center fellows

What Murtaza Kabir Murad is

in partnership with Aarong and

What The Book of Dhaka is

and published by Bengal Lights

a renowned classical solo flute

Bangladesh National Museum. The

an anthology of ten short

Books and the award-winning

player. His musical journey began

project will investigate the potential

stories set in the buzzing

independent publisher of UK,

in 1985 when he started learning

of reviving Muslin production and

city of Dhaka, written by ten

Comma Press.

the tabla under the tutelage of

explore how this sought for textile

leading Bangladeshi writers

Ustad Khondokar Khairul Anam.

of the past can integrate with

Akhtaruzzaman Elias, Shaheen

by the translators at the red

In 1987, alongside the tabla, he

contemporary clothing designs.

Akhtar, Syed Manzoorul Islam,

shift literary brunch. There

Anwara Syed Haq, Bipradash

will be a cover charge of Tk200

Barua, Moinul Ahsan Saber,

redeemable for coffee/beverages.

started taking lessons in flute under

19

For more information, contact:

Allauddin. In 1992, he also took

bengalmuslin@gmail.com or visit

lessons in shehnai from Shamsur

www.bengalmuslin.com

Join for a reading of excerpts

WE E K E N D TR I BU N E | FR I DAY, FE B R UARY 1 2, 20 1 6

20 The Bong Momma | Tales from a first-time mom

Pearls of wisdom Its teething time, and it sure ain’t easy Minu Ahmed

F

or any new mum, teething

about how The Husband’s teeth were

pull our bed away from the wall, only

designated “colouring spot”. They are

is a very crucial stage in

as yellow as the sun when he started

to find Jellybean’s treasures sitting in

allowed to colour, decorate and paint

the first year of a baby’s

the sixth grade. Then apparently some

a pile of dust. Toys, clothes, a painting

as much as they want, but the “trick”

life. I had read about it all

girls in his class pointed this out and

of mine, and everything that had

and “cool factor” is to keep it within

online, and kept waiting and waiting,

The Husband got so embarrassed, he

gone missing since the last time we

that area.

but didn’t see anything sprouting the

started brushing his teeth day in and

cleaned that area, was there. I call

first few months. I know the books say

out. The end result was his brilliantly

this Jellybean’s Bermuda Triangle

challenges and puzzles and like to be

anytime from as early as three months

white set of choppers. My brother-in-

Syndrome. She has certain areas of the

treated like grown-ups. You also need

till as late as a year old – but it was

law didn’t have any “colour” issues as

house allotted to hiding things. She’ll

to do the activities from time to time,

exciting for me to see the developments

a kid; he just refused to brush his teeth

find something, say, “Eita my” (her

to show how “interesting” it is to you. If

in Jellybean and I felt impatient about

in general. With breath that could put

version of “This is mine”) and the next

they see you do something, chances are

everything.

a toxic wasteland to shame, he finally

second she’s gone and the item she was

they are going to do it too! n

grew out (not entirely, but majorly) of it

holding is gone with her.

I was even more anxious to see how Jellybean’s lineage would affect her teeth. In my side of the family, my

in his later years.

I was expecting Jellybean to start

Her current favourite activity is stuffing her school bag with things she

mum and I shared the big, bold teeth

growing teeth when she was five

likes. Her little red leather purse, her

and toothy grins, while my father had

months old, because she was trying

old tiffin box, her alphabet blocks, and

his own attractive crooked-toothed

to bite everything and drooling

once I found a jewellery box stuffed

smile. My sister got the worst of the lot,

excessively. This continued until she

with her underpants.

and had spent several years of puberty

turned seven months old, when one

with a mouthful of braces. The best

day I spotted the tip of a tooth breaking

thing I had inherited from my father

through her lower gum line. Soon after

was his dimples, and I had hoped

Jellybean became very irritable and

children from doing all these “silly”

Jellybean would get them too. She did,

would cry all the time. Every time she

things, and scold them for not listening.

but not double dimples like yours truly,

would sprout a tooth, she would be

But what we as parents forget is that

just tiny ones near her mouth lines,

cranky and have an upset stomach.

these little beings are after all, kids, and

that don’t even show up all the time.

Teething is a very distressing time for

are doing what they are physically and

Boo!

both baby and mum, so be patient,

mentally capable of at that age. So let

and use teething gels if absolutely

them be – let them make a mess, colour

necessary and unavoidable.

on walls, rip stuff up, dismantle toys,

In The Husband’s side of the family, my dad-in-law had a tooth secret that was revealed many years into my

Jellybean had an assorted set of

Why? Don’t look at me, I have absolutely NO idea!

A lot of parents tend to stop their

play with food and most importantly,

marriage. If I revealed it I would have to

teethers, and the rubber ones are most

let them be themselves. They are

suffer the wrath of Godzilla, so I won’t.

comfortable. Look for ones that come

curious and imaginative beings and

As for my mom-in-law, she feels very

in a ring shape, and there aren’t any

stopping them is like shutting off their

self-conscious of her gapped teeth,

parts that can come off. The teethers

creativity.

but doesn’t realize that her smile has

which have bumps and different

its own charm. The Husband and his

textures on them are also fun for kids.

channel their energy in different ways,

brother were blessed with good teeth,

Wash, sterilize and keep teethers in a

and in the long run, help them and help

and even my in-laws are surprised how

safe place. Children have a tendency of

yourselves. It doesn’t have to be very

that happened, owing to how little they

flinging toys into corners, under beds

hard, choose a wall you don’t mind

took care of their teeth as kids.

and sofas, and every hard-to-reach area

getting dirty, and stick a large chart

known to man!

paper/mount paper onto it. Decorate

My in-laws have a favourite story they like to reprise from time to time,

The other day, I made The Husband

WEEKEN D TR I BU N E | F R I DAY, F E B R UARY 12, 201 6

Trust me, like Jellybean, kids adore

The best you can do is help them

it, and tell your kids that this is the

Photo: Bigstock

Minu Ahmed is your not-so-average homemaker, normshirker and abomination of awesomeness, juggling a career in communication, motherhood and a fatter half.

Questions? Send to thebongmomma@gmail. com