Kyle’s Rant

WHEN you live in the district for a while, as with my experience living here since 2005, you see life change, particularly as people age.

When I arrived, some of the folks were kids and now they have their own. Dudes with hair back in the day now have none and some of the people have thickened up a bit with a middle-aged spread.

Not being a breeder I don’t have many reference points to getting older apart from the mirror. Breeders can look at their offspring growing up and automatically feel their age. I get presented with my niece’s teenage son and scratch my head as to how that happened, when I reflect on her own birth and where I was and what I was doing.

Recently, my good wife has noticed some lines that go from the corner of my lip and proceed down my face to where my jawline ought to be - I now officially have a resting bitchface. Much like Ben Affleck, who said, “I have a very unhappy looking, resting face”, after being snapped at the Grammys with wife Jennifer Lopez.

Is this my future? A look of grimace when I actually have no emotion going on. These lines have just started so maybe some filler or whatever it takes to undo the ageing.

When I first started writing this column 10 years ago, I had to project an old grumpy man onto the page. These days the old boy is a little easier to channel.

Speaking of grumpy, I went down to the Glenlyon Dam the other evening to find a large reflective sculpture on the shores of the dam. I hadn’t seen it before.

At first glance I thought it was something like the terminator, the one where the free-forming blob of mercury turns into a policeman. I pondered if it had been dropped there by aliens - it also looks like that blob at the Millennium Park in Chicago, but on its end. Or maybe it was part of the reason why Red Rock Mining had been sniffing around the district - maybe another rare earth metal? The only thing that stopped me popping it in my ute to take down to the metals exchange was the rather large "no vehicle" chain gates.

I suppose it’s just another artwork thing like our giant rainbow that the council has decided will look good scattered around the place, but honestly, the Glenlyon Dam?

Before I park this rant up for another couple of weeks I wanted to relate an observation that a local shared with me recently.

He witnessed blackberry poisoning down at Lake Daylesford. All the poisoners were well kitted up with PPE gear, breathing apparatus and the like, while people walking their dogs were oblivious to the fact they were walking straight through the contamination cloud.

Not a sign to be seen apart from a very small one, out of the way, that could be seen from just one direction to warn the tourist blackberry pickers the job had been done.

Good luck with the lawsuit rant over…