Impressions 1992

Page 1


Editor: Bizabeth MacDuffie

Associate Editors : Lanette Tooke Rita Knowles Jim Schneider

Advisor: David Solheim, PhD.

Cover Art: Bizabeth MacDuffie (front Jim Schneider (back)

Computer Layout : Rita Knowles Lanette Tooke

Copyright Š 1992 by the editors of f~ . All future rights to material published in this journal belong to the individual authors, and any reproduction or reprinting of this material may be done only with their permission.


Winners: Prose: First place: Sr. Jill Murdy, The Last Day of Retreat Honorable mention: Mark Spitzer, Charity Lyvia Kadrmas, Straight Talk

Poetry: First place : Rene'e Beasley Jones, Morning Honorable mention : Davina Almazan, Morning Hour Michelle Ramsey, Jake (How snake-skinned shoes got started)

Art: First Place: Nadine Anthony, Marriage Honorable mention: LyleS. Miller,~ Christie Street, Untitled


Peace (Linoleum block print) --Lyle K Miller


Jake (How snake-skinned shoes got started) Last night as I walked home from the parl(,

I met a laney snake.

He was dr86Sed In silks had wooden legs and whined about eating a &tea.k. 'A steak!' he shouted loud and clear

and I feared someone near might hear

He moaned and groaned and aied in pain as he tried to make me undetstand again

'My name is Jake and hungJY am I if you don, feed me I'm likely to die.· I bought the hungry snake a steak

and left him to eat out by the lake.

Afew weeks later I found a box ft contalned a noce and a pair of soc1<s

"These socks wdl be nice to wear In your snake-skinned shoes under the stairs.· I put them on and was astonished to sea· the snake-skinned shoes were made for mel I wore them everywhere night and day;

soon the time passed quicl<ty away. The streets became filled I dare to say

with snake-sldnned shoes to

my dismay.


Straight Talk

I knew 11 would come. Just like we all know. Even now, many years later, I can feel the lear thai I le~ as a child fN&ry time I would let that SC81'/ thought enter into my mind. So, being the Pollyanna kid that 1 was 1would not let myself think about it I always know you would take care of fN~hlng tor me. I remember all too well the night the ooncept really hit me. 11 was &tooning out, and you &aid I oould sleep 1n the den With you You were the oNf person who fN&r knew I was afraid of the daJtt. I always loved those nights, when Mom was al wor1< and Dolly was already married and at her own home t loved having you all to myself. · You were my best friend, you know. I guess I never told you that In words. You had the power to let me know thai I could be whalfNer 1wanted to be, no matter whal. I knew as I grew older that I might not be what you wanted, but you showed me In so many ways that Hdid not matter What really mannd was whall was to myself. NfNertheless, I stiDalways wanted to please you, to be whal you wanted. Remember how I used to want to be a stand-up comic? You lei me do my 'Edith Ann' impr116Sioos over and rNer tor you and your buddies down a1 the oomer gas slalion. And Carol Buman and my 'Ott sole amio• opera. I should have told you, I loved doing tt for you, but those old tarts at the station didn't appreciate me like you did They only laughed lor your sake, just like 1only made them laugh tor your sake 1always wanted a bigger, better, more wonderful audl9floe. I wanted the whole world to love me fike you did I've often wondered how you oould love me so much when 1was such a pam I can remember silting outside the bathroom d()()( wart1ng for you to c:c;>m& out. You never got to go anywhere alone. did you? I finally figured CIA the nickname you gave me, too Yogi never got to go anywhere without BooBoo. Or

maybe ft was because I was ju&tthal, a booboo But I always felt special because or it And because of you. You see, Yogi hed BooBoo, but you had Boo. A one of a klnd, you said And all the times we argued, neither of us 9Y9r won. I thought you were .never ll~enlng to me and you thought! was never listening to you 1can hear it as plam as the many times you said k to me ..1'&11 it to me straight, daughter: I knOw now how to szt whall w.n. how to tell it to you stralghl knew it would come. I wanted to be the one to go first , so I wouldn't have to face anything, 8Y8r, without you. You used to get so angry with me when 1would say thai and now I understand why. It was so my terror would go away. It wor1<ed, Daddy. I don't wake up In the night thinking I shouldn't go back to sleep, In case I don't wak8 up al all. That's the only grasp at alii could fNer get on death. Thai someday I would tall asleep and not fNer wake up I was so mad at you for awhile, you knOw We stiU had so many things to do. There were so many things I wanted to prove to you I'm going to keep on doing all the thulgs I know would make you proud, because 1knOw you're watch1ng me fNen doser now. I realaethat even though you're not here to tell me, you knoW Now thai k has happened to you I'm not afraid anymore. ~know that all is not what ~ seems I won't be without you at all, • . y~ re JUS! with me In a dlHererrt way. I miss your hugs, but 1feel your presence ~ my whole being Leave a tight on lor me, Daddy, I might be late

-lyvla Kadrmas


WAKE¡UP CALL (a prose poem) I woke the other morning, early, sometime aftw SIX o'c:lod(, sometime before seven, and sensed somllhlng in the arnot a smell, but mor&than alllermg-a familiar. Slowly, 1rolled tom the warmth or my qui" only to be greeted by the nU11lC81 or getting older. As I wandered, naked, Into the living room, a sepia haze, perhaps an aura. seemed to overwhelm the yard and the house and the room; then through the half¡opened Venetian blinds I noticed the sun nudging hs WGf (1181' the neighbor's rool. lr&adled up to raise the blinds, but stopped lor lear of d85&aaling something sacred-that lamiliar. Standing ther&, CCNerad only by the stillness, I felt toorJSh and unholy. A mourning dove cooed; finaDy, a dlscernable familiar.

A loud thud lrom out near the back door made me jump. Instantly, I checked every direction of the compass, then r&membenng my nakedness, ran to the bedroom. Alter slipping Into the first available garment- the pair of blue jockey shorts I'd d&po6hed on the floor the night before-! gathered what courage I could find and went to Investigate the unlamillaf I eased the back door open-first an Inch, then two. Seeing only that the newspaper had missed its malX, I stepped bravely into the chilly morning air to retrieve the local gossip. The undeniable urge came OV8I' me; I planted my leet wide, and r&adled highthen higher. Suddenly, like a leather's touch to my bare ribs, like the bouquet of new wine to my nose, the lamiliar h~ me: Washburn Bible camp, twenty-one years ago, a cnsp June morning, the air golden and wet II had rained the mght before--and lor a moment, r was born-again.

-Willy ltrlch


Building Ruin Watford City '91 (black and

wh~e

photograph) --Sara L. Mehl


CHARITY -Mark Spitzer 'Are they sliD out there?' Lenny shifted his legs below the aatthen embankment and looked up at his friend. For six days he and Jim had bean silting in this mud hole, twenty feet long, eatlng out of tin cans. But no, he wasn1 ready to stick his head up just now to find out who was stili around. 'If you're curious, why don't you taka a look? Maybe they gave up on us and want home· Jim shoe him a look ol disdain, but a small amount ol fear showed through the back of his ayes 'Well; he said, 'If you're going to be that wwt about it, I guess I WIR • He yanked off his TWins besebaD cap and craWled up to the fip ol the trench, slowly peering rNer the edge Two cars and a couple of baskets were along the driveway, but he couldn't sea any .•. a bullet whizzed by the left side of hiS head, dipping his earring and smashing into the coffee pot behind him. 'Damnl' he cried, running his fingers through his hair and sliding back to Lenny's side, 'AA, they're still there all right.' Lenny rubbed his hands and eyed Jim plaintively. 'But who are they? Could you tall when you looked rNer the top?' "There were two baskses on the ground, so •·s deflllitaly 1101 Jehovah's Witnesses, II has to be the Girl Scouts • 'Oh no . . no, NOI' Lenny was close to tears. If it really was the Girl Scouts then their s~uation was practically hopeless, the Scouts never negotiated, everyone knew that. 'This is all your fault you know.· 'What do you mean?' Jim asked, rounding on his roommate. 'Cookies All they wanted was for you to buy a box or two of cookies. but no; you wouldn~ do it. I'm sleeping paaoatully on the couch and then suddenly you're shouting at me, grabbtng the twelve gauge and diving through the wsndow Now what the hall was I supposed to do? You taD me· 'Extortion, that's all it is; Jimsaid, folding his arms and Silting back heavily on a ledge dug from the earth. 'Extortion plain and simple and I'Ve had just about enough of it; no more cookies tor me and lha1's all there is to it.' He pointed upward, 'If you feel any differently why don1 you just climb up there and explain it to them?' Lenny poked at the ground with a broken fty swatter, 'Yeah right You and I both know that onoa the Scouts gat dug Ill, they ...• He stopped short; a sudden high pitched whine seemed to approach them. 'lncomingl' he yaUed, and as he scrambled to get to the bottom of the hole an exploSIOn daalaned him Lenny found himself on his back and wasn1 sure how he'd gotten there. Clods of dirt and small rocks were still falling around him but he seemed not to notice; what he saw silhouetted against the deep blue olthe sky had all his attention. It was the form ol his friend, Jim, spread eagled and sailing upward at a great speed He seemed to be only the size of an opossum, and now a kJtten, then a small bird, then a snail, and finafty a gnat And then, he disappeared from view altogether

Lanny shook his head and sat up. Looking around he saw that the Vego-matic was ruined, their Morgan Fairchild calendar was ripped badly, and he doubted that the philodendron could be rescued. He klcked at the broken pot that had held it. 'Aitantion, attention! This Is your last chance. II you apologize we wiD still let you purchase one box of chocolate chip and one raisin. Othelwtse ~ will go badly wlh you You have thirty seconds.' The bull hom WIIW silent Lanny thought about it for a few moments, then yelled, 'All nght, all nght, I agree I'll buy themI' He held his check book high rNer his head and scrambled out of the trench, adding, 'And Jim says he's real sorry he didn, buy them right awwt.' 'That's better,' said a reassuring voice and suddenly Scouts were everywhere, toting besk&ts and boxas. 'Buy mine, buy minal' they said, and although it would bankrufi l.eMy for years to come, he did. Eight weeks later, when the rainy season was rNer and the diphtheria epidemic had subsided, Lanny was out back by the old bunker, burying the last of six hundred-odd cookie boxes He patted the d1rtlevel with his spade and paused to catch his breath; he'd put on soma weight. He thought about the day he brought Harvey home, the lillie dachshund he'd picked up at the animal sheher. Harvey had settled right in, marldng all the trees, bushes, posts, and hubcaps ol the neighborhood, but during a rainstorm only five dwtslater, he chased a ranlesnaka down a gopher hole and drowned. Lenny had to use a pieoa of piano wire to fish him out. J1m would have liked Harvey. he thought Whal was that? Lanny paused in hiS reverie. He was bstaning to a strange drone, he mrNed a couple of steps to his nght and riSianed again 'Aaaooo.· That's kinda weird, he thought. He answered ~as best he could. 'Aarrghhh' he said. 'AaaaaooouuOOUUUURRRGGHHII' WHAM I 'Jesus!' Lenny exclaimed, something had struck the ground behind him and he whirled round. As the dust settled he saw that it was Jim, groan1ng softly and rolling his ayes. He gasped twloa and sal upnght, loolong strangely a1 Lanny Then Jim scrambled to his feat and peered north to the1r house, and around to the other three dU'ectiOils as well, while he nonchalantly adjUsted his belt. 'So,' he said at last, ,hey left.' 'Yeah,' Lenny answered. 'Well I hope they've learned their lesson; I don't mess around • 'Right,' said Lenny, 'but I suppose they'll come back some day • 'And we'll be ready lor them whenever they do; we old buddy?' Jim asked, smiling and slapping Lanny on the back. 'You bat; Lenny replied. h was niC8 haYing Jim back. Thlllgs would

won,

be normal now.


THIS WOMAN This woman craating gowna of pilk clocted Swiss and turquoise veiYet, an orchid prom d11165 you melted wiih an iron, granny di86S86 WOf1h tWig on teachln .. ... you WOibd 50 hard ld, that I m!Qhl shine. This woman journeying far with caslles and princess cake6, guitars, Raggedy AM and Miss Piggy, or a dany sweet six1een cake gifting us with Imagination and excilamenl. This woman nurturing an wishing your children an "Angel of Goer, and 'Bedbugs Bile" then rushing off to woric; constantly caring lor the slclt and lonely, wearing a rummage sale COld so thld I might have a new one. Worldng many overtimes 50 thld I could travel !he Europe you only dreamed of.... putting someone, something, ahead of your own needs. And now, with so many places yfll. to see, pieces yet to piece, and dreams still to be dreamt, you ara failing. Struggling to write, just as a child lorgetting • is time lor your medicine and a nap confused by things which you one. knew so very well. You tum to me, 0 Holy Woman, c:al1ing oyou are my strength¡ as I awkwardly attam~ to chase away the demons of pam which haunt you,

and coax you gently baclt to sleep I approach you Yahweh, lying so clealiy In front of me, and can orttf think 'My God, I am ncx WOI1hy". Life spent d86p8flllfll.y seeking your faoe I meet you now as I first did in the womb !hal bora me, This woman, the love that taught me to grow.

-JII Mlrt1 11\Jrdy


Swiss cake Rolls I wandered hungry as a bear, The snacklime bell in my tummy lolled, When all at once I saw qurte near An army of chocolate Swiss Cake Rolls. Beside myself with joy, I ran To see how many I could cram. Continuous as the grocery-&tore lill86 That seem to stretch on endlessly, So they filed, these cake6 of mine, Marching to their destiny. Ten thousand saw I at a glance Leaping from their boxes in eager dance.

My own heart leaped, but they Outdid my joy w~h their own glee. A sweet-tooth could not but be gay In such delicious company. I at~and at~but little thought What weight the cakes to me had brought For oft, when on my couch I be Scanning soaps and MTV. I think not the rapidly growing thigh,

But of what the kitchen has in store lor me ArwJ then at snackllme, tummy knows To go in sea1Ch of Swiss Cake Rolls -lanettt Tooke


Untitled (graphite drawing) --Kathy Fix


W~h

the weightlessness of a million snowflakes...

words have the power to ease the pain we often feeL To cover the ugliness of the

world, and the pain of the heart.

Ablanket ... on the soul,

and spirit, of all mankind.

-IIvy


POSTSCRIPT: Between the lln86 the stOI)' lle6 In word& no1 yet devised, Unspoken the atoms dash And clash and clash. Appalling dimensions reach Forward and bacl(. On this paper And behind a hidden star.


Don't Cry, Aunt Anna ··Lily H. J. Pomeroy I hadn't thought of Uncle Russell in years, b1A111C811tly, while I was sitting in a class, my thoughts tumed to him and his wife. my Aunt Anna 1oJ. the pracise moment that the professor uttared his oft-repealed phrase, "and you can take rt to the bank; I glanced a1 my desk, the notebook where I aimlessly doodled, and the back of my hand. There they were, those flat, brown "age spots,· beginning to dol an already wrinkled landscape. And I thought of Uncle Russell. He had age spots, too. Lots of them ... Kwas the summer of 1955, and I was only nina Mama herded up the lriblr-Dad's generic name for the lour of us kids- and we made the annual pilgrimage to visit my great-aunt and uncle. Mama was their favorite niece, IOnd of like a daughter since her own mother had died when she was jusl a little gift of lour. We always took the train, and the conductor knew everybody by name. Back then, the train stopped a1 all those little towns, and Hatwood, Missouri, nestled In the Ozarks, was no exception. I thought it grand to ride the train I Perhaps I thought the best part was getting to stay up lata, lor it was always nighttime when we arrived in that sleeping town which had once been the busy center of a farm1ng community. Now it was quiet, not just from the night, biJ1 from the deserted housas and stores. lgOOMg the blur OIAside, we chattered nonstop, excited abOlA seeing cousins, playing in the schoolyard, and 'roughang it' By "roughing rt,' I mean that my aunt and uncle liVed in a house with no indoor plumbing We always took turns pumping the handle to draw water from the well, but no one wanted to empty the chamber poll I always looked forward to this vish. For some reason I actually liked my relatives, and Aunt Anna and Uncle Russell were two of rey favorites. Why, I'm not sure. Maybe it had something to do wrth the fact thai our trek to the country signaled the real begiMing of summer vacatiOn. Probably b had a lot to do wrth rey aunt and uncle themselves Both of them hed IJved a really long t1111e, and they both liked kids Or maybe they liked me 'cause I looked fike rey mama when she was little. Ear1y one morning sholtly after our arnval, Aunt Anna would welcome us into the Inner sanctum of her kitchen. And there we would help her

do the baking. Thai meant someone had to bring wood for her cookstOYa, 'causa 'if you don, wor1l, you don, eat; as she would say. But she didn, say thai to be mean. h was just her pioneer w011t ethic, her sense of family and belonging Besides, we knew there were already those thlelt, !loury sugar cookies piled high in one of her endless crocks. And we cftdn't have to ask, wa could just help ourselves. Then, as the fire grew hot, we scooped and measured and poured and stirred. There was bread to be made. And pies. And more oookie6. And there was never a cross word from Aunt Anna aboiA the drifts of lour and sugar on the counter and floor. But Unde Russell I idolized. He sal in his big oak rocking chair, the sturdy kind with a high back and inl1icate carved lowers. He spoke quietly of years past, his boyhood I can't recaH atrt particular story, only thai he was a master storyteller. We would srt at his feet , hooked by that crown of whrta hair and web of wrinkles thai played connect-the-dot whh his age spots. BIA it wasn, just his appearance that kept us mesmerized, nor just those stories of a time before television and cars. Things I had only read aboiJ1 came to life In his mahogany voice, a voice that just reeled us in- warm, deep, rich, and mysterious. AIYJ he was never too busy lor us He would take us on walks, an otAing to the post office or to the bank. I real1ze now, of course, that he was recired and had kllle else to do. h's just that he made us feel importanHTUIJting a letter or taking somlllh•ng to the bank. But the summer of '55 was different We made the short walk from the old depolto Aunt Anna and Uncle Russell's home A knock and the damor of kids brought Aunt Anna to the door. II was one of those doors wtth the Art Nouveau stained glass designs above tt. The soh light from inside gave the colored window an eerie sort of glow. And behind Aunt Anna sal Unde Russell, asleep in his big oak rocker '"RU558ft Russell,· she called to h1m "k's ~tha and the kids • He slept on. When Aunt Anna shook him by the shoulder and called to hm again, Unde Russell fell face forward, dead. He had died quietly in his sleep, silting in his favorite chair. Everyone wept, everyone but me. Gently, I put my arm around Aunt Anna's thin shoulders, and offered her a child's words of comfort, 'Don't cry, Aunt Anna. He was old atrfhow •



Marriage (watercolor painting) --Nadine Anthony


'

MORNING HOUR A single window bfought isola!ed hours of black morninga solemn serenity ~ereupon the earth brittle snowftal<es glittered benea!h the light of a lonesome lamp post

In retum, the dat1<ness peeked in my wanmly lh room, only to find

mutual Isolation. Davina Almaun


On The Occatlon of the SOOth AnnlvtmfY of Cc*llllbue' Arrival In The New Wolicl

Once Upon A Long, Long Time Ago...

-Wally ltrlch

• political ,..,..

... in a galaxy not so far away, was a planet called Aard. And in a secret comer of Aard lay the beautiful Isle of Sdllldpod, and all the peoples of Sdlildpod, for thn wn many clans, W()(&hiped one god- the great and powerfullkben. Though there were many dans known by many drfteraol names, these humble, Hobbit-100! people knew each other as the sons and daughters of lkbeo-the lkbenouins • Now, the lkbenouins W8f8 for the most part peaceful people- lor the most part, though once In a blue moon, depending on whidl of Aard's many moons we're talking about, they did squabble and steal one another's gelt- ln your language, they'd 'get eadl others goat.' But mostly, the lkbenouins were a peace loving people and W8f8 devoled to there god, lkben and his wife, Aard, who cat8d for them Their beautiful Isle of schildpod was b()(dered on eith8f side by two great rivers. On the west lay the Great Rrver of Vrec:te, and on the eas1 the Greal River Oorlog-the rrver of peace and the river of war, respectively. The lkbenouln folk thought little of t;he peoples who lived on the far banks of the two rivers. Those on the other side of the River Vrede were quiet and kept to themselves. II fNer they warred among themselves, or made great scientific disCOYeries, or over-procn~ated, who would care? Anyway that's an entirely different story The people on the oth8f side of the Rrver Ootlog could have remained an entirely drfteraol story too, but lor one smaB ~em: they took their name altogeth8f too seriously. These were the Avarianoeds-an unhappy, greedy, watlike folk who, whether individually o,r collectrvely, suftered from an extreme lack of self-esteem ... which led fNentually to things complllllble to you world's valium and Group-therapy . . . but we digress ... One day, a man from the far side of the Oor1og River dlldded to ventura to the Olher shore just see what he might steal. Suffrce it to say, the lkbenouin who met him should not have given him the gold Substance. Whether • was a friendly hello grR of a bribe to please go away, we1 nfNer know But the Avancinoids lound something they wanted srmply because it was nOI theirs The Avaricinold sariof rushed back home to show oN hiS new

'Many terms in the language of these Hobbit·like people bare an uncanny resemblance to some in your High-Germanic tongue; of course any similarities are entirely coinCidental . sort of.

Substance. Before you knew it, word spread and Avatldnoid& W8fe hopping In their boats making hast to find more Substance-lots and lots of Substance The lkbenourns up and down the shoreline welcomed the visitors The second sign of trouble came when another local named Tot offered a gift of good-will-a pure white bird of peace The Avananoid named Slecht took the bird, said "Thanks,· then chopped on the bird's head and served dinner. Twenty minutes down the shore as the turU'f fties, and lkbenouin cousin of Tot named Oag, sold his tiny on shore island to Graacht, an Avariclnoid cousin of Slectlt. Wh8f88S Oag suspected he'd been ripped of for a hand full of trinkets and beads, he knew in his heart that the trinkets and beads would prove quite valuable one day. Some time later, when the Avanc:inold& had OIA-&tayed their welcome, Tot and Oag and al their brother and sister and cousin lkbenou1ns began a slow not-so-methodicel tetreat inland. Thera seemed no way of entraating the Avatlanoid& to please go home. And as the lkbenouins retrealed, the Avaricinoids took mora and more land lor themselves, more gold Sub6tance, mora of anything else they could steal. They fNen irrvented a term to justlly their theft. Divine Imperative. The lkbenoulns had a word f()( it too: Theft- a word seemingly known in the Avatldnoid language too. The lkbenouins thought it strange thai the two peoples could share such a similar W()(d that meant something entirely drHerent As ttme went on, the lkbenouins gath&nld into smaller and smaller plots of land um~ finally they had but one place they could can home-a plot unwanted 11)' the AvatiCinoids, but sacred to all the clans of the lkbenouins---a place sandioned by the greallkben himself: The Holy Mountains. And so to honor the great lkben, and his mate Aard, the lkbenoulns construc1ed a great stone Alter of granite and quartz and silver and gold. And lkben blessed it ... and the Avancinolds promised not to desecrate the Holy Moumalns with their presence ... and for a while, thn was peace Then the Avarianoils heald there was a lot of gold Substance In


..

them there hins. They not only tl86pas&ed, thereby breaiQng their promise, but to up the holy Altar, engraving Mwith the images of their favorite villains (though ooe olthem was not really a villain .•• but thars another story written by a half-breed named Gore-possibly halllkbenouln, PfObably mostly Avarlcinold ... there we go digressing again). Arr{nf, to make things worse, II such a thing were posslble, the now deposed lkbenouins, 'Mire exiled to a nearby wilderness plot called Woestyn&-wtlich translaled to any language meant, 'a VfK'/ sad place • The great lkben was greally distressed and could only d (though we do not know that the great lkben s~s of does anything mere humans do) and watch the Avaricinolds devour his beloved Aard. The great lkben could ooly comlor1 his beloved and similarly distressed lkbenoulns, saying {in his great thunderous voioe out olthe billowing storm clouds): top~ all oil, decided to consectale their daslattlly deeds by calVing

1.oving children ot the Great Spirit, tkben •.. though you are defeated, remember this· Vengeance is Mine, ~h fkben Even as these avaricious ones strive to devour Mother Aard, it Is she who shall prevail ... and b is they who shall be devoured. And you, my children, children of Aard, )

shaDbe renewed . •or something like th&f.'

Unhappy having to always communicalll with his children via a great thunderous voioe out olthe billowing storm douds, the great Spirit manrtested himself Into a human rtgure who lookad something like yoor Mel Brooks He took one young lkbenouin, one seventh soo of the seventh soo of Dag named Dag Jr.3 and said, 'So Oag, you still have them trinkets and beads your Great-Great· Gr- whatever Grandfather got from thai scheister Avaricinoid, Graacnt?'{ The dumbbunded and bedazzled Hobbtt.flke Dag could barely manage an affirmative nod, then dug into his poc:kel and produced a handM of trinkals and beads. 'Good,' said lkben. 'Now listen closely: The great god took Dag's Ho~·like

hand and opened k. 'See these colored beads? They're plaslic- they

ain't worth nothing. But these trinkets-now they're made of this stutl called Silicone Soon you'l meet the people from the tar shore of the River Vradethey're called the Clonemasters Just tike that rdiot anoe&tor of yours gave the vislllng Avaricinold the pretty gold Substanoe- as a hello gill or a bribe to please go awey, we ot course doo, know-you give the first Clonemeister you meal ooe ol these Silicone trinkets. He'll figure out somelhlng to do with it.· The dumblounded, Hobbit-like Dag nodded affirmatively. Aard tumbled and moved benealh them. lkben stomped his foot on the ground and said quietly, 'Yes Dear, you11have your tum. But vengeance is Mine first:


Morning Water. for your balh, rushes through pipes wrthin my bedroom walls

The muflled, rhythmic pulse from teenaged music permeates this room beneath your carpated

doma~n .

My celllng is your floor. Our rooms are connected just as they wera mora than a decade ago when you awakened me with a kick In the ribs.

-Rene'• Beasley JoMS


Untitled (graphite drawing) --Christie Street


Unconsloul Occuptation The myth that s~s uncoosiously Is thought to be lnterited genetically When days pass and anger grows within Tom from reality the light grows dim

;

The IM8( chdd lights a fuse to be seen Screaming the needs he has yel to redeem Unawate Is the master of these cries For KIs to hlm&elf that he furnishes these lies

Mystic are the reasons to prove ones valor Denial and disregard Is a mask of devour Honesty beneath the surface Is part of growth Emotional nourishment will surely show Enhandng the psyche to conquer all One must &1and on two leet, and learn not to fall . • .

NEVER CAN KNOWING IT IT WM3 AU. CUPID SHOT

WE FORGIVE THIS LOVE WM3 MEANT TO BE . . . WE HAD OfiEAMED OF HIS ARROW THROUGH YOU AND ME .. . -8ld


LAST NIGHT OF RETREAT

0 Yahweh. I was going to be good today-really, I wasl BUll accidentally ran into Suzy. We started to share a little, and then saw a great wind lor kites. It just so happened I bt'ought one w~h. Pam saw us making preparations and was exc~ed. making plans to show up later. Along came Brigid, who was qu~e serious in her silence. I'm sure she thought we W&nl quite sHiy; though ~was Iunny, she soon held the kite strings. Pam quickly relumed, and then Noble Ruth ventured by, pausing to watdlthis precious waste of retreat lime. 0 Yahweh, ~her I was a conspirator against you, or an instrument for you today. For we were all children; ~hout worry or concern, r&Yeling in the moment. Running after fallen kites without concern about bed knees and aching backs-or that one this !at can't run. Thank you Jesus for these moments. Just as we laughed at our tailed attempts-for once letting go ol perlection, triumphing in the mere fact the k~ei'06e-even II just for a second. We weren1 cautious ...holding back our hopes, or WHOOPS of exc~ement wondering what someone might think. With joyful antidpation we waHed for a silent wind to gain might once more, with arms outstretched, hands and hearts just ~ing for the slightest breath of air as if teaching us how to wait in hope when you, 0 God, are silent. The winds remained calm, yel we accepted without frustration {well maybe a little disappointment), but with a smile and a shrug....knowing there wasn, anything that could be done about L .except wait. Nor can we Ioree You into r&Yealing your face to us, 0 God. For you are like the wind, the moment. All Is gift.

..JII Mlrla ._,rely


SEASONING Hannah opened her eyes. For a moment, everything blurred before her. She blinked and a piece of her world came into focus. She stared a! the green and white ft()()( tiles. She had seen them £Nery day for years, but nfNer belore had she noticed that the faint lines and squiggles on each tile almost lonned a lace. Hannah moved her right hand and with her index finger traced a wMe face that took shape In one of the green squares. ~ was a narrow, unhappy faoe. The nose sloped sharply in one long unbroken llna. Beneath the nose, a bold, short line crossed the face, giving its mouth a pinched look. A mark that resembled one eye seemed too big, as lithe eye opened too wide. "II sees too much," Hannah whispe18d. She closed her own eyes in denial of the image, slowly growing consdous of other sensations. The kitchen dock ticked relentlessly, echoing In Hannah's brain. A low bubbling sound accompanied that patient rhythm. Hannah smelled the stew that still simmered on the stove. The front d()()( squeaked as a gust of wind nudged it further open. A tiny finger-drift of snow stretched Into the r()()(O. Hannah shivered in sudden awareness of the oold around her. She wondered how long she had lain on the ft()()(. She didnl remember falling. The dO()( squeaked agaln In protest of the wind. Hannah shilled her body, intending to look a1 the clock, but her first movement shot a wave of pain through her head, and her jaw throbbed. She rubbed her hand against her swollen jaw. Hannah lay down again, welcoming the cold against her body. As the ache ebbed to a more tolerable intensity, memory of the afternoon flooded into Hannah's mind. Silently she cursed herself. She should have seen the signs. This agonized awakening could have been avoided had she only paid more attention to the signs. Alter years of marriage to Otto, Hannah oould tell when his volatile nature reached its boiling point. She'd learned when to run to the Kessler !ann to hide lor a day. In her absence, Otto's anger usually spent itself, or was released in physical labor. Only when she stayed near during his bad days did Otto vent anger on her. His recent silence had been ominous, Hannah now remembered. She should have seen this coming. Hannah recalled the early days of marriage to Otto. The day of their wedding was only the second time she had seen him. He had been an established landowner and recent widower. She, the oldest daughter of a slill~ruggling immigrant farmer, had acquiesced to the marriage arranged by Otto and her lather. Otto had seemed a fine man on his first visit to

the homestead. His military stance, the distinguished cut of his clolhe&, his throaty, haavily accented speech made him very attractive to Hannah. The day of her wedding, Hannah anticipated a bright future. She envisioned herself and Otto working together on his successful farm, a deep unbreakable Jove growing between them, surrounded by a half.OOzen or more beautiful, well-mannered children. ~ had not been long before Otto's violent temper shattered thai vision. The first beating left her in shock, too confused to leave her husband. Aller the second beating she had run horne. Hannah uttered a low groan as she remembered thai night with her parent&. Their Initial shock at the sight of her bruised face had been genuine. But allegiance to their old ways pr£Nented them from lending the unqualified support Hannah desired. "You cannot leave your husbandI You made sacred vows I" Papa Insisted. 'Hannah, you're so bold," Mama soolded sweetly, 'you must have done somelhlng to make him so angry: "A wife's place is wnh her husband!" Papa maintained. "You must be gentla, work hard, and you must know your place. Then he will be gentle,

too: Just as she had agreed to her arranged marriage, Hannah gave in to tha insistence of her parents and to the rigidity of her faith. She had returned to her husband, haunted by her mother's parting words, "Remember what you grandmother always said, Hannah. ·~takes a bad woman to make a bad man.' Watch your tongue.· Hannah closed he eyes again and breathed deeply. Hshe ooncentraled hard on breathing, she felt the pain and the oold le6s s£Nerely. She should try to get up, she knew. The open door let in too mucll oold, and II she didn1 stir the stew soon, it would scorch. Hannah laughed a bitter, palnlullaugh. Whal would Otto do if he carne in for supper only to find Hannah on the floor and the food bumt on the stove? Would he be remorseful? Or would he strike her agaln? She bit her lower lip hard until she tasted blood. The salty, melallic taste comforted her somehow. She felt a perverse sense of control in sell-Injury. "I should have seen it coming," she berated herseH again. 'h's my


laultl" Hannah's coni86Sion of re&pOnSibility spurred activity. Slowly she raised he!sell to her hands and knees, then unsteadily to her lee!. &ealhing hard, she aepl to the door, bumped Ksh~. then turned and leaned heavily against ~. She glanced at the green and Ivory coal stove, envious of the warmth which did not qu~e reach her. Steam spiraled !rom the cast iron pot atop h. Hannah suddenly wondered if she had seasoned the stew. She put her hands to her lace and caressed the s'tfll8iling. A clear racollection of Otto's lace-that cold, enraged visage-invaded her mind. She stared at the ftoor and lor the first time since waking up, saw the broken bottle and its spilled contents. How had he found it? she wondered. For years she had kepi the secret, sately hiding that special potion where Otto would never discover it. Who had told him of her secret? Her only power r:Ner Otto had been in that little bottle. He eould beat her as many times as he wanted as long as she had that wonderful, awful liquid that was the source of her barrenness- and Otto's seeming failure as a man. Hannah glanced again at the dock. Where was Otto now? Her heart pounded. Something like a growl sounded from her throat as she realized the sudden diminishment of her power. For just a moment her fear heightened. Otto would be back. Then, as suddenly as the lear gripped her heart, it left her. Her body relaxed and a half-smile appeared on her lace. There were other ways; other things in Hannah's store of power. It would not be difficult, lor example, to throw a pinch of this or a dash of that Into the food she prepared lor Otto. A little dried and powdered loxglr:Ne or tansy might do it. Ergot? Or perhaps something as simple as the crushed leaves from the pie-plant? Hannah grew warm with the thought. The pain in her head lessened. She stepped toward the str:Ne. Otto surely would retum lor supper soon. The stew had simmered long enough. All~ needed was seasoning.

..

-Margret M. 81mlwt


Untitled (linoleum block print) --Elizabeth MacDuffie


ALMOST AN EXODUS I was there but where is it that I was? Placed suddenly, swiftly In an environment I neither knew, or understood. And yet, I said I would come. So I began wondering and wandering Cursing.•. the vastness, the dl)'ness, the heat of day, the bitter cold at night. Little creatures, cactus flowers, I would not, could not see you In my sen pity and featS I traveled 'round and 'round, again and again I could not &Yen tell where I had been.

MIRAGES...

Is that You? you SHOULD look like that. I've traveled far enough! I deserve a breakll So I ran towards it with all my strength. On my arrival, I found nothing but sand. Throwing a handful, I saeamed, 'Damn Youl" Where are You when I need You?" So I began wondering and wandering Cursing ... the vastness, the dryness, the heat of the day, the bitter cold at night. Little creatures, cactus flowers, I would not, could not see you in my self pity and !eatS

I traveled 'round and 'round, again and again Not &Yen recognizing v.tlere I had been. In my emptiness

I cried once more, 'I am failing II do not know how or where to go next. I cannot do it.' So I began wondering and wandering and then, when I did not expect it, an Oasis appeared. The Water was so large, I drank alii could, Iiiii could drink no more; then quietly I rested in the shelter of its shore. I would have liked to stay there peaceful and content butlknew the journey had not ended. So We began, wondering and wandering Praising... the vastness, the dryness, the heat of the day, the bitter cold at night, Little creatures, cactus flowers , Have you always been there? How beautiful you are.

I was there but where is it that I was? Placed suddenly, swiftly in an environment I neither knew, or understood. And yet, You bid me to come.

-JIH Marla al.lrdy


Pretty Face Hate Nazi! Nazi! The rabid sCf88111ed at you

You goo leech teanng dismiSS them as crary Those are the same aazl86 that killed John Lennon, Malcom X and JFl(

Be careful Pretly, or they11 be spilling your guts on the righteous asphalt.

- rlt1knowlea

Pear1 an unfortuante name, beauty formed by aggravation and irritation.

jl(&Ssed, scoured, roiled round The final product given in death When all the layetS are pulled bad( a small graln of grit ramams. made of gr~. aggravat1011, imtation and death

Pearl an unfortunate name

- rltlknowlea


BeHevers

Moira breathed deep as she gazed out into the Atlantic. The sun

was going down and the tide was whispering at her bare feet. The sound of sand

He was gone, like so many !Xhers before him, and more thai would eventually lollow.

crunching made h8f rememb8f why she was the111. She turned, and saw him approaching.

He stopped befo111 her and said nothing. His clear blue f1i8S stared

Bill glanced through the paper as he drank his morning coffee. He skimmed through an artide that caught his f!ie - somelhing about an illegal

forward, unseeing. Moira looked hard at the man, she gazed (N8f his well-

hypnosis practice going on and how It might be connected to the strange

muscled body, bronze from exposu111. She wondered if he would do well for the

disappearances that had occurred lately.

task. Finally she spoke.

'Bill?' his wile called to him from another room. 'Old you read thai

'Do you believe?" she asked.

one article In there? It's all about a strange swell of land In the middle of the

'I believe." he replied, t1'811C1Hike.

Atlantic ocean. Some scientists are cl.aiming thal li's Atlantis rising againl Do

"Then go - and fare you well.¡

you believe n?l"

The man turned from her and began walking into the tide. She

'-

watched until he was lar into the deep wat8f, and finally she saw no m0111 of him.

'I believe.¡ Bill 111plied, as got up from the breaklast table. His flies W8f8

glassy as he started forth. -l~nette Tooke


Sister Maria (graphite drawing) --Bruce Blommel



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