Front Porch Summer-Fall 2014

inside Courage 4 5 6 8 9 10 11 12 14 15 16 18 20 22 24 26 28 30 32 33 36 38 40 42 44 45 46 48 49 50 52 54 55 56 58 60 62 64 66

About the Cover From Us to You Do You Have the Courage The House That Bob Built Tater’s Place Splinters Professional Directory Courage Spotlight The Crossroads of Life The Surprising Scoop on Massage...

Dirt Roads A Wagonload of Courage Saddle Up Mary, did you know...

A Dedicated Life Firewater Cindy’s Hair Salon Remembering Dave Courage Sweet Fruits of Summer Summer Salads That Small Town Vaccinatology Part II What Goes Around Comes Around Experts on an Age Old Question Courage When Facing a Crisis...

You Think You Know What Teachers...

Reach for the Stars U Can’t Hide Redneck Lesson Learned in a Watermelon Patch Uncle Billy Summers What is Asset Allocation Carl Was a Quite Man The Gift...The Egg...Joy The Chance to Make a Big Difference...

Fight Infections Naturally How to Bathe a Cat Butterfly Courage

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rom us to you

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Editors Note

he winter of ’13-’14 will long be remembered by Texans across the state. Heavy snow, ice, and extreme temperatures plagued various parts of our BIG state.

And we were not left out of the truly winter weather. Extended cold days and nights found us dealing with staying in, keeping children home when school was closed, learning to drive on icy streets, and wearing heavier coats and gloves, necessities rarely needed in recent years.

So, now with the cold behind us, and who knows what before us except for the good Lord, we move into spring.

We’ve enjoyed once again gathering and writing stories we feel you, our readers, will be drawn to. Whether they make you laugh, cry, or think, we hope they’ll stir your emotions. For feeling, along with caring and giving, makes our lives rich. And, we pray that your lives will be enriched by reading the Front Porch Magazine.

Enjoy the warm weather before it gets HOT, as in Texas August HOT! Happy Reading. And remember to see us on the web at www.frontporchmagazine.com Sandi Balcar, Publisher Scarlette Taylor, Editor and Advertising Manager

5

C urage Do you have the

ou n y on e h ti s w n ac race e i g im t t rage the s o e u “M e co so se od.” e s u al of G yo

to take action, or will you play it safe?

“R yo eal to u o co y ft u lo our en rage ud se ha m lf v ab voic (in e to ean ou e) a s s t m it’s rea ay e!” no lly t

Well, do you? Courage means many things to people. To my mother, it meant she faced the news of a terminal tumor in her lungs, yet encouraged those around her. Courage to my father meant starting a small company years ago with little or no education when others said, he could never do that. It was seen in my friend when she walked back (with forgiveness in her heart) into the lives of those family members who ridiculed and gossiped about her in unfair, untruthful ways. Looking back now, it was my husband and I as we followed the Lord’s will and drove 11 hours to a school for my son’s freshman year when others talked and objected (to each other, not us), knowing nothing about our choices or decisions.

Most times when you see courage in action you also see the grace of God. I know I don’t normally get too preachy, but this time is different. It would be playing it safe for me to write the article so that the secular population would like it or the outcome…but the truth is I have to ask myself if I have the courage to take action. Courage to take action when the action is not always the popular route!

Courage by definition means: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.

Keyword here many times is difficulty! One of my favorite versus in the bible is Matthew 14:28-30. …28 Peter said to Him, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” 29 And He said, “Come!” And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!”…

What we believe is that those in the boat were probably doubting that it was really Jesus. He constantly had to prove himself in many ways, whether it was resurrecting the dead or burning a bush. In this instance, Jesus walked on the water. Peter challenged the Lord to have him walk on water to Jesus. It is obvious to all that walking on water, in this case was not the most popular decision. There were 11 disciples who never got out of

by JoAn Majors

the boat! When Peter kept his eyes on the Lord, he walked on water. When Peter took his eyes off the Lord and became concerned about the wind (and probably the doubters in the boat) he began to sink. This, dear reader, is real COURAGE. Courage to do what you are led to do despite the unpopularity of it or, better yet, the fact it just doesn’t feel good. I don’t think for one minute my friend who had family members just crucify her based on some bad gossip wanted to “forgive and love” them again. However, I know she did. That takes courage, the courage to do the right thing.

Real courage means you often have to say to yourself (in a really loud voice) it’s not about me! I can imagine Peter took some kind of flack from those still in the boat. Today it would probably sound something like this; “Dude, what are you doing?” “Make this guy prove that it is really Him?” Or maybe even “If it is really the Lord, why would he ask this?” From experience in my own life, it is easy to say I hear similar voices when I am led to do what is right in my Heavenly Father’s eyes and not so popular in the world’s view. NO WAY could I do that on my own. I am just not strong enough.

Recently, a friend sent me a short note following a special story about my son’s mission trip to Haiti, keep in mind he is in his freshman year. I read: “Jo, I am so proud of you. Your heart must be bursting with joy! I wish I had done something like this for my son.” I simply replied; “I have not done a thing but to trust Jesus’ plan for him. Despite our desire to have him home this year, we followed our convictions and it has been rewarded.”

Notice, we take no credit. When courage is involved, so is the Lord! You don’t have to admit it, but just look back at your life when you thought you couldn’t and somehow did and in those moments it is obvious!

I could go on and on with examples of true courage in our own community. Many of you know I love to point out local examples of the subject matter I write. In this instance, it wouldn’t really matter because those who doubt, just doubt. Individuals who want or have a need to “look good, correct or perfect” in their minds (or the eyes of their peers) simply justify what they say and do. This has been happening for years.

Now, back to Peter…I heard a pastor once say, “I’d rather be a water walking, sometimes sinking, disciple than a never get out of the boat disciple.” To this I can only ask; do you have the courage to get out of the boat? Or will you listen to all the doubters saying, you’re too old, you’re too young, you’re

not smart enough, your business will never work, you have too much to lose, don’t forgive him/her, if it were my child I would or wouldn’t, you will never survive without him/her, lastly there is no way YOU can do that! Those voices are not the voices of courage. I call it static, some call it background noise!

The only thing left to share is that I have stepped out of the boat, I am a water walking, sometimes sinking, believer in His will for my life, and I am finding the courage to write about it at 4:00 a.m.! It is uncomfortable because at this moment, I am not sure which direction I’m walking! I do know that I am walking toward Him and will work to keep my eyes on Him and ears listening to Him and not the static in the background. So I close by asking, do you have the COURAGE to take action and get out of the boat, or will you play it safe?

I would consider it an honor to dedicate this article to some individuals who have shown great courage. To one our dearest friends, Mark Dziobala, may he rest in peace. Who at the very young age of 16 left his birth country of Poland to come to America. With newly adopted parents, in a land with a new language and culture, he had the courage to encourage literally anyone who would chat (or listen) to Mark for any length of time. He lived to encourage others. Now I see the courage of his wife Sue as she faces this time on earth without her soul mate, dearest friend and confidant, and as she faces the fight of family and doctors for their young great niece, Taylor only 7, who is battling an unusual cancer not understood by many. To someone like Ricky Mantey, who had the courage to risk all to save one and those firefighters like him who do this on a daily basis.

Also to Richard Taylor, aka Dad, Honey, Papa, Mr. Taylor and Coach Taylor as he faces the battle of his life. “Coach

Taylor, if this is half time, we are praying for a stellar second half!” To Jim Marsh, who also is in the battle of his life. Mr. Marsh, thank you for all the minds you have influenced, young and old. Your kindness to others is beyond compare. To the readers, please understand it is not my intention to leave someone out who is the epitome of courage, yet I am human and probably will. It is just important to identify how easily it is to see courage, if that is what you wish look for. Finally, to all the families who battle today and have the courage to get out of the boat and walk toward Him!

“C o at is f urag h e pr as ar e ay sai er d s.” its

th

JoAn Majors is a professional speaker and published author. Her articles have appeared in over 25 national and international magazines and newsletters. She authors a regular column in Dental Economics and Front Porch. She is a devoted wife, mother and grandmother who also supports in the marketing efforts for her husband, Dr. Chuck Majors. You can learn more at www.joanmajors.com or call 1.866.51.CHOICE.

7

The House That Bob Built The home that graces the Front Porch Magazine this edition is that of Bob and Gisela Henricks, located in Caldwell,

was built in 1999 when Bob started looking for property in town to build a home for his Mom and Dad, who had been visiting Caldwell from Rockford, Illinois for about eight years.

Bob’s parents really liked Caldwell and the community.

It took Bob months of driving aroud town to find the property located at 205 N. Echols. It had a shack on the property which was left over from the last oil boom...and it was for sale.

He bought the property, gave away the shack, and with the help of his siblings was ready to build. So, Bob drew a picture and started building. He said, “I just hope they have a few good years.” They were then in their late 80’s.

Being “Snow Birds”, Bob’s Mom and Dad spent about six months a year at their winter home in Caldwell, then would go back to Illinois for the summers.

Bob’s Dad helped with many of his son’s projects; including

8

Giesla Mom’s (Anni) house across the street on Echols, and the renovation of the Old Post Office.

Bob lost his Mother in 2007 and his Dad in 2008.

They had their few good years plus...

The house is now a rental. It is a great location, downtown and has a nice Front Porch.

While coming for visits, Bob’s family also like Caldwell so well, his brother, Jack from Michigan, now has a home on Thomas Street. His sister, Ginger and her husband Ross from Illinois, have since purchased property across from the Henricks on FM 3058 and are in the process of building.

Gisela says, “This says a lot about Caldwell and the folks that live here.”

Have you been to Tater’s Place? Well, Tater’s Place is the place to be! Especially at Birch Creek State Park. Tater’s Place is a grocery store under new ownership out of Somerville, Texas. It’s a store and oh, so much more. This newly opened location is owned and operated by mother and daughter, Lavada Rhodes and Tammy Booker.

Located on Park Road 57 out of Somerville, Tater”s Place is a location easy to get to for both Park campers and locals alike. To get there from Somerville, exit left off Hwy 36 onto FM 60, where Slammin 4 is on the corner. Travel 7 miles, turn left onto Park Road 57 and go 5 miles. Taters Place is located at the front of the State Park, on the right side. It is the last stop before going into the park.

Tater’s Place provides easy access for campers with trailers and boats. And, as far as walkers, well that is no problem. Their building is located just a block away from campsites.

Groceries, drinks, fishing gear and bait, wood for fires, ice, and adult beverages are all available at Tater’s Place. A room for locals and campers alike to watch TV, visit, drink coffee and just catch up is right there. Children are welcome. Their doors are open 7 days a week from 7:00 am to 9:00 pm.

Lavada’s nickname is Tater, thus the name for their new business venture. On August 3, 2013, Lavada and Tammy opened the doors to their dream. The fall months are not the best for businesses such as theirs; however, the locals kept their business going.

And they want to say “Thank you” to all who were there for them.

Tammy grew up in Caldwell and graduated from Caldwell High. She moved away and came back to her roots after 20 years.

She works at Kroger’s presently. Husband, Charles Booker, a machinist for 32 years, retired from Lone Star Steel.

Lavada and her husband Kenneth Rhodes have been married for 46 years. He is a veteran and worked as foreman for Scarmardo’s farm for 25 years. Now he works for Mitt Bush on Highway 50. Lavada’s work background is in sales, working some 18 years at Post Oak Mall, managing an eatery. They are the parents of nine children.

Future plans for Tater’s Place include increasing stock, revamping the store, and ultimately having a separate building for campers and locals needing supplies for typical house repairs. And they hope to be able to sell fishing licenses. Don’t miss meeting these two ladies at Tater’s!

Unusual,

Do you like the

Unique,

One of a Kind...

...if you do, then drive just two miles east on Highway 21 to Splinters. There you will find unique woodwork and arts and crafts. Perry Walker’s Splinters houses an eclectic selection of items of his own making along with various vendors that he showcases in his shop. Business hours are Wednesday through Saturday, 10AM - 6PM and Sunday 11AM - 5PM Perry, originally from Mangum Oklahoma, moved to Caldwell in 1994. He and his partner, Brenda Luna, owner of Frost Bites, have four children, three daughters, Roxanne, Kyla, Robyn, and one son, Ty. In October 2013, Perry opened Splinters, which he refers to as a family generated business. His wife, Brenda, her mother, aunt, Lillian Hiedon on down to his son, Ty, all have items for sale at Splinters.

Perry leases vendor spaces on the inside of his business on a month to month basis, when available. He also has outside spaces which he leases on a monthly, weekly or daily basis.

For more information or details about a lease, call Perry at 979-587-3407 or email walker.perry@ymail.com

professional directory Air Conditioning-Installation & Repair Reliant Mechanical 5 Weaver’s Refrigeration 51 Antiques Vintage Resale 53 Arts & Crafts Splinters 10 Attorney Leighton Schubert 25 Automobile Parts-Supplies-Repairs Auto Quality Service 17 Burleson County Motor Supply 51 dBm Auto Repair 23 Groce’s Shell 63 49 Kwik Kar Wilde Auto Plus 13 Automobile Sales-Detail Burleson County Auto Sales & Detail 57 27 Caldwell Country Banks Citizens State Bank 31 BarBQ Matus BarBQ 21 Beauty Salon Cindy’s Hair Salon 30 Bed & Breakfast Rocking H Bed & Breakfast 59 Burleson County Events Fair Association 9 Butane/Propane Gas Service HyPoint Energy, Inc 13 Cabinets Truth & Light 63 Carpet Cleaning FireWater 28 Chemicals Project Chemicals 31 Churches Church of Christ 55 First Baptist 49 Jubilee Christian Center 49 City/Civic/Government Offices City of Caldwell 65 City of Somerville 63 Construction C & H Building Construction 65 McManus & Haddox 63 17 NEI Construction Richard Boyd Construction 19 Convenience Store ZipN 32 Copies/Printing/UPS ImageMaker 31 Dentistry 67 Watson Orthodontics Dozer Services

H.L. Hoyack J7 Service Electrical Co-Op Bluebonnet Electrical Service Stevenson’s Electrical Farm Equipment Small Farm Innovations Feed Faust Farms Homeyer Feed & supply Fencing Drgac Fencing Financials LPL Financial Florist Country Blossoms Funeral Home Phillips & Luckey Strickland Funeral General Store Buck’s Grocery Store Tater’s Place Hand Gun License Providence Hill Health Care Burleson St Joseph Manor Copperas Hollow Assisted Living Copperas Hollow Nursing & Rehab Guardian Health Care Hope Pregnancy Center Insurance Alford Insurance Company Farm Bureau Jaecks Insurance Livestock & Commission Caldwell Livestock Com. Lumber Company Woodson’s Lumber Company Massage Therapy Healing Hands Meat Market Kovasovic’s Monuments Brenham Monument Company Optometry Aggieland Eyecare Pest Control Armstrong Pesticide Solutions Photography Charanza Studios Plumbing DP Plumbing Real Estate Double “O” Team Home & Ranch Real Estate Restaurants & Catering Deanville Bar & Grill Freedom Ranch

21 65 65 51 61 23 43 54 53 63 53 39 19 9 2 7 37 37 60 33 68 5 17 59 67 39 68 41 41 28 8 47 29 3 29 30

Golden Chick LaSalada Le Caiman Blanc Mad Hatters Tea Room Masfajitas Mexican Restaurant Super Donuts Service Station Groce Shell Storage Mustang Storage Tax Preparers & Advisors Danny Koerth, CPA Truck-Auto-Tires-Supplies Burleson County Motor Supply J&J Tire Service 41Mitchell Tire Service Wilde Auto Plus Veterinarian Brazos Valley Mobil Vet Service Vitamins Roots & Shoots Water Well Drilling Loehr Drilling Co, Inc Welding & Fabricating BWM C&H Welding & Fabrication Woodwork Splinters

19 61 2 10 25 41 63 21 38 51 47 13 39 62 23 47 61 10

Sandi Balcar & Scarlette Taylor publishers

sandi balcar

layout & design

scarlette taylor advertising sales

charanza studios photographer contributing writers

neal beard CHUCK BURGESS Jimmy boedeker Linda Chamberlain suzy cohen EDWIN H. COOPER BEVERLY DIZZINE tracy frank pamela jones tammy kubecka sharon ann laffere joAn majors dr. jack Mckemie dvm KAVON NOVAK renita odstrcil donna varner presnal dEL rOGERS, sR. scarlette taylor POLLY WILLIAMS Phone 979.567.7871 979.567.6753 301 Hwy 21 E Caldwell, TX 77836 The contents of all articles do not represent the views of the Front Porch Magazine. The magazine claims no responsibility for the accuracy of information or content.

11

Courage

by Pamela Jones

Pam is a native of Evant, Texas, a graduate of Howard Payne University, and has been a resident of Burleson County since 1980.She teaches first grade and junior high history at First Baptist School. Pam is married and has three children and three grandchildren.

What is your definition of courage? Mine is doing something that needs to be done in the face of adversity with or without the guarantee that the end result will be positive. Courage breeds heroes. So who are your heroes? Is it the football player who wins the Heisman Trophy as a freshman? Is it the movie star who makes millions of dollars for every picture he/she makes? Is it the politician who takes our nation by storm?

We all have our heroes and they inspire us never to give up.

My dad is one of my heroes. He was critically injured in a car crash just before I turned 3 years old. He was left a paraplegic. Instead of feeling sorry for himself, he pulled himself up and made a life for himself, my mom and me. My mom is also one of my heroes. She stood by my dad and did what needed to be done for him until his death in 2011.

My biological sister, Denise, is one of my heroes. We didn’t grow up together due to circumstances beyond our control. When I found Denise, she was completing 27 years of service in the USAF. That alone qualifies her as a hero in my book but there is more............ Denise was a medivac air crew member for the first 8 years of her service to our country. During that time, she flew around the world providing medical assistance to our service men and women and their families. During the evacuation of Saigon she flew on planes that airlifted people out of that soon to fall city. She tells a story of running down the tarmac to complete the pre-flight preparations while artillery shells from the NVA were falling on the other end of the runway. She was frightened out of her mind but did her job anyway. That’s heroism.

My friend Kathy is a hero. She raised a son with a heart defect to believe he could do anything he chose.

And he did. He became a husband, a father, and a teacher. He received a heart transplant in June 2012 and went right back to doing what he loved—being a husband, a dad, and an incredible teacher. Sadly, a severe rejection episode cost him his life in September 2013. His legacy is tenacity and inspiration as he demonstrated that life is fragile, important, and worth fighting for. He’s a hero, too.

My greatest hero is Jesus Christ. He chose to give his life on a cruel cross for not only his followers of the time but for those of us yet to come.

Choose your heroes. Be a hero.

Inspire your children to become heroes, too.

Cab Ride Cont’d

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

Child Sent To Bed A small boy is sent to bed by his father...

[Five minutes later] “Da-ad...”

“What?”

“I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?”

“No. You had your chance. Lights out.”

[Five minutes later] “Da-aaaad...”

“WHAT?” “I’m THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??”

“I told you NO! If you ask again I’ll have to spank you!!”

[Five minutes later] “Daaaa-aaaAAAAD...”

“WHAT??!!”

“When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?”

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out.

But I can usually shut her up with cookies.

13

S

potlight on

Unique Heritage

People in all walks of life influence those around them.

In this column, we will be featuring those who have made an impact in our small towns.

“RED” ALDRIDGE - The Local Shoe Shine Man

Jesse “Red” Aldridge was the local barber shop “shoe shine man” for over 60 years. He was born July 14, 1908, in Ardmore, Oklahoma. When he was a month old, his mother moved to Tanglewood (between Rockdale and Lexington). His family then moved to Belltown in Burleson County in 1913 and then in 1915 they moved to Rockdale where he lived until moving to Caldwell in 1928.

He said he came to Caldwell because he liked Davidson Creek and Caldwell “bull!” He started shining shoes at the Cozy Barber Shop in 1929 and continued there until his death December 30, 1990, at the age of 82.

In all that time his customers included lots of “regular folks,” as well as football stars, Congressmen, Legislators, Judges (all the way back to Judge G. W. Grant in

14

Burleson County’s

the late 1920’s), and lawyers, both local and visiting. Children also loved Red and considered it a real “treat” to get their boots shined by him at the barber shop. U. S. Congressman Jake Pickle and retired 49er pro-football legend, Charlie Krueger, were regular customers of “Red” whenever they came to town. The four barbers who were at the Cozy Barber Shop when Red first came to work were Joe Urban, Jerry Novasad, Pat Kluge and Butch Homeyer.

There’s an old saying: “If these walls could talk...” Well, Red didn’t talk much in those early years, but he didn’t forget anything! He remembered Caldwell being a “boom town” in 1929 and for many years following. He said during Prohibition, “The Cozy” was a favorite hangout for bootleggers and crapshooters. “On Saturdays you couldn’t get down the street for all the people. Everybody came to town to visit.”

He remembered businesses staying open till almost 11 o’clock on Saturday nights.

Aldridge recalled some of the stores that were around the then newly built courthouse (which was built in 1928) along unpaved streets: “There was Fagan’s, Homeyer and Dalchau Grocery, Black Front Store, Parkhill Grocery, Stone and Hitchcock Drug, and several others.”

He charged a dime for his first shine.

(He was still charging a dime in the early 1950’s because I can remember my daddy, Fritz Jannett, would give him “two bits” to shine his boots and mine when I was about 3 or 4 years old! I loved getting to go see Red!) Red estimated in an

interview for the local paper honoring him for 50 years of service that he had shined “one and one half million shoes.”

He continued: “I guess I’ve shined all the old-time cowboys’ boots,” and had fond memories of friends that were regular customers: the Ryan Brothers, Billy Addison, Phil Alford, and old Judge Grant.

And then there were Seth and Roger Groce, and Raymond Svec. “I could always depend on old Phil, Raymond, and the Groce brothers to show up every Saturday. They seldom missed one.” In his later years, Aldridge was also a cattleman which he did for “recreation.” (And it gave him something to talk to the other cattlemen about when he was at “the office.”)

Red heard many politicians speak on the courthouse square. He heard Lyndon Johnson (later President of the United States) speak when he was running for Senator. LBJ came to Caldwell on a helicopter and landed on the baseball field.

He also heard W. Lee “Pappy” O’Daniel play his fiddle on the courthouse steps.

(Pappy O’Daniel was Governor of Texas, U. S. Senator, songwriter who wrote Beautiful Texas, and the only person to have ever defeated LBJ in an election.)

“Plastic shoes have ruined the shoeshine business,” Aldridge said. “Leather shoes are better for the feet. Plastic shoes don’t breathe.”

Many, many Burleson County residents remember Red fondly not only as an expert in his field, but as a friend, a very interesting character, a Caldwell Icon, and someone who is still missed

by many.

Linda Chamberlain

THE CROSSROADS OF LIFE

SOMETIMES THE CALL FOR COURAGE COMES WITH VERY HIGH STAKES Sometimes it is even Life or Death It was on the morning of December 10, 1941 in the Dean’s office, upstairs in the little college on the northwest coast of the Island of Luzon in the Philippines. Buenaventura Bello, a little man— five four and weighing barely 100 pounds—sat working at his desk. He had heard that Pearl Harbor had been attacked; that the war had begun, but that was so far away. He did not know that he would be one of the first to see the Japanese enemy. Bello was about to come to a crossroad in life.

Suddenly the quietness of his office was broken by a disturbance downstairs, and sound of boots on the stairs were followed by six Japanese soldiers and an officer wearing a saber, burst into the room.

Bello sat frozen in his chair, staring at these men—the war, a few minutes ago so far away and now, suddenly standing in his office.

The officer shouted something at Bello in Japanese. Bello had not the slightest idea what he meant.

The Officer shouted louder and made a gesture that Bello understood. He pointed to the American and Filipino flags on the wall behind Bello and jerked his clenched fist toward the floor—he wanted those flags down!

Something happened inside Bello. No longer was he the terrified little teacher. He sat upright in his chair and shouted in good English, “Not me! If you want these flags down you will have to do it yourself.”

The enemy officer pulled his revolver; pointed it at Bello and repeated his command and gesture.

Bello jumped to his feet; stretched as tall as he could; shook his fists in defiance in the face of the enemy officer and shouted, “These hands are made to defend those flags, not to tear them down!”

The officer understood the defiance, if not the words. He pulled the trigger. The bullet tore into Bello’s body; he slumped to the floor; the officer stepped over his bleeding body; yanked the flags down; stabbed them with his bayonet while two of his men ground their heel into them; they turned and they were gone.

A secretary found Bello—barely alive; rushed him to the hospital; the Doctors operated. Because Bello survived, we know the heroic thoughts that went through his mind that caused him to take that courageous action in the face of death itself.

“There are times in the lives of men when they are impelled to seal and certify with their action what they say they believe and teach. Such a time has arrived in my life. I shall so certify!”

Bello stood at the crossroads of life; made his decision and certified with his actions—with his very blood—that which he believed to be right and true—what action would we take at the crossroad of life?

Del Rogers, Sr., founder and CEO of the Rogers Company is a recognized authority on successful fund raising for churches, ministries and personal stewardship growth for individual christians.

15

The Surprising Scoop on Massage and Essential Oils

Erin Hairston, a licensed massage therapist brings new techniques and a growing knowledge of therapeutic grade essential oils to Caldwell. Working with Beverly Dizzine at Healing Hands, located at the Cottage in Caldwell, her training includes multiple techniques but her speciality lies with trigger point therapy and northern style massage.

Trigger points are commonly the cause of pain in the joints, neck, jaw, the lower back and other such areas, numbness and tingling in the hands, tennis elbow, and carpel tunnel syndrome. Trigger point therapy can help to alleviate those issues. A great choice for athletes, thai massage consists of a series of compression strokes and range of motion movements, that lead into deep relaxing stretches. It is referred to as “lazy mans yoga!” People who have experienced a thai massage leave pleasantly surprised at the results and describe the feeling as both stimulating and relaxing at the same time.

Essential oils have been used for thousands of years all over the world for healing, perfume, and spiritual blessings. Today research continues to open new doors of insight on how these oils can help us in our day to day lives. Be-

ronella. Another includes oils like cinnamon, clove, and eucalyptus radiata.

They can help the pain these two discomforts bring by decreasing the inflammation, boosting the immune system and combating bacteria and viruses. If clean, fresh, relaxing and safe are how you wish cause of their molecular structure, essen- you could describe your home environtial oils can actually get into your system’s ment you should try cleaning with essencells and help inspire a positive emotion- tial oils. Clean without worrying about al state, enhance your physical wellness, the safety of your family and pets and still refine your skin, and even assist in meet- disinfect without the harsh odor of tradiing and maintaining healthy lifestyle and tional cleaners. weight goals. Of course to achieve these Getting regular massages, learning benefits and many more you must be sure about and using essential oils yourself can to use common sense and only the purest bring many life changing blessing. of essential oils! Incorporating essential oils into a massage session helps the cli- You can contact Erin or Beverly at: ent relax mentally and emotionally, gives Beverly Dizzine ~ (832)877-2387 relieve to sore and aching muscles and in- Erin Hairston ~ (979)255-8830 creases the longevity and benefits of their massage session. There are hundreds of different essential oils and each one has a different combination of benefits. Erin’s favorite is Peppermint! Research has proven that peppermint is a digestive aid and an anti-inflammatory and she has found it helps with personal day to day problems like headaches, stomach aches, aiding in fever reduction, sinus congestion and general aches and pains.

For things like sore throats and ear aches, blends are a great first choice.

Blends are a mixture of several essential oils that have both similar and different medicinal properties that enhance each other for a greater effect. For example one blend includes oils of lemongrass, melaleuca alternifolia (tea tree), and cit-

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Aircraft Carrier Out Ranked One foggy night, a United States Aircraft Carrier was cruising off the coast of Newfoundland and the junior radar operator spotted a light in the gloom. Here is a transcript of what happened next.

The radar operator worked out that a collision was likely unless the other vessel changed its course. So he sent a radio message.

U.S. Aircraft Carrier Radar Officer: ‘Please divert your course at least 7 degrees to the south to avoid a collision’.

Back came the reply: ‘You must be joking, I recommend you divert your course instead’.

The U.S. Radar Officer referred the matter to his superior officer. And reported the incident as insubordination.

As a result the Captain of the Air Craft Carrier sent a second message. ‘I believe that I out rank you, and am giving you a direct order to divert your course now!!!’

Canadian Radio Operator:

Courage is being scared to death... and saddling up anyway.

John Wayne

‘This is a lighthouse. I suggest you take evasive action.’

Novosad Enterprises, Inc. 2720 Presidential Corr.

Caldwell, Texas 77836 www.neiconstruction.com

Equipment & Services Offered Heavy Haul Trucks Culverts Motor Graders Gravel Trucks Fencing Materials Mud Pumps Bobtail Dumps DOT Vehicle Inspection Pressure Washer Tank Trailers Forklifts Frac Lites/Generator Floats Dozers Public Scale Roustabout Backhoes Environmental Crushed Stone Trackhoes Cleanup Commercial * Oilfield * Residential

979.272.9401

877.272.9401 17

New Orleans Lawyer Part of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership. Here’s a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA (Federal Housing Administration) on behalf of a client: He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply: “Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s loan application, we note the request is supported by an Abstract of Title.

While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803.

Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.”

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows: “Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been received. I note you wish to have title extended further than the 206 years covered by the present application. I was unaware any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know Louisiana was purchased by the United States from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France , which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Queen Isabella. The good Queen Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus ‘s expedition. Now the Pope, as I’m sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume God also made the part of the world called Louisiana . God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it, and the FHA. I hope you find God’s original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our loan?”

The loan was immediately approved.

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A Wagonload of Courage

By Tammy Kubecka

Courage can be defined by saying it’s a willingness to face adversity, to pursue the unknown, or to take a risk.

Every wagonload of settlers that headed west might have been loaded with supplies and people, but they also carried a lifetime of courage.

1854, Judge A.S. Broaddus, his family, and slaves arrived in the Cooks Point Community, six miles east of Caldwell. Judge Broaddus and his family had left Caroline County Virginia in 1853 and arrived here six months later.

The wagon train was said to have been a mile long, with 200 people in the party. Descendants from those original families still reside in the county.

After the Civil War, many freed slaves from this wagon train and other farms remained in the area, forming historic dispersed rural ethnic communities, such as Goodwill, located on FM 1362.

Most residents of Goodwill went to the small church called New Hope, a few miles north. Travel was difficult and in 1887, they established their own church. 1888, they went to “Judge” A.S. Broaddus, their friend and perhaps employer, to ask for assistance in obtaining land for a permanent building.

Broaddus met with Bill Waller and told him he would help with the church, with hope there would be goodwill

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toward one another. That statement coined the name “Goodwill” for the future church, and the existing community. The men of Goodwill were able to purchase 9/10ths of an acre of land for $6.00 on November 13, 1888, and the Goodwill Missionary Baptist Church was started. The term “missionary” may have derived from branching off the New Hope church, or it was considered a mission of the Anglo Salem Baptist Church established

by Broaddus.

Along with Bill Waller, the church named Polk Davis, Ephran Jones and Mason Bridges as Deacons of the new church. Jerry Shorter was called to be the first pastor. A modest building was erected, and services began.

Over the years the church grew and the building was improved, and later replaced. An organ was added, gas and then electric lights and every minister who served the church brought new courage to the congregation as they faced new challenges for their church. The current brick building was dedicated in 1981. A small store appeared in Goodwill, and a school would be started, with a Rosenwald School built in the 1920s.

When the church began, a small cemetery called Jones Cemetery was used by local residents, but with the establishment of the church, a church cemetery was also started. The Willie C. Jones Goodwill Cemetery is adjacent to the church grounds. There are over 100 dated and undated burials at the cemetery. More land has since been donated for the cemetery and church from the Alford family.

Goodwill Missionary Baptist Church celebrated its 125th Anniversary in 2012, as one of the oldest established African-American churches in Burleson County.

The Church once boasted over 100 members. Membership is only about 25 people now, with many being descendants of those freed slaves and original deacons.

Goodwill is a prime example of a small community that plays an important but sometimes ignored role in the county’s heritage. A Texas Historical Marker will be dedicated for Goodwill Missionary Baptist Church in the Spring of 2014 as a testament to their perseverance, their sense of community and their courage to live and worship in freedom.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Several men are in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues: “Hello?”

“Honey, It’s me.”

“Sugar!”

“Are you at the club?”

“Yes.” “Great! I’m at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful mink coat. It is absolutely gorgeous! Can I buy it?”

“What’s the price?”

“Only $1,500.”

“Well, okay, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much.”

“Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2002 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year...”

“What price did he quote you?”

“Only $60,000!”

“Okay, but for that price I want it with all the options.”

“Great! Before we hang up, something else...”

“What?”

“It might seem like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...well, I stopped by to see the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year. It’s on sale! Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beachfront property...”

“How much are they asking?”

“Only $650,000... a magnificent price, and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover...”

“Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $620,000, OK?” “Okay, sweetie. Thanks! I’ll see you later!! I love you!!!”

“Bye.” The man hangs up, closes the phone’s flap and asks aloud, “Does anyone know whose phone this is?”

To Advertise in the Front Porch Magazine Call 979-567-6753

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Saddle Up Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway” John Wayne

W

hat does having courage mean to you? Before I decided to write this article, my first response would have been, it means being brave or heroic. I would have said that it probably related more to our soldiers, our policemen and firefighters, or anybody who has risked their own life to save another person from harm.

But as I thought more about the meaning of courage, I realized that many of us do things that require courage on a daily basis. What may seem like a simple task for one person, may take an enormous amount of courage for another to do. Courage is intensely personal. It is something that you can only experience within yourself. It is influenced by your values, your beliefs, your desires and your sense of right and wrong. This is what will guide you when you are faced with situations that require courage to overcome or change. It can be standing up to a bully when no one else is. It can be speaking the truth about something when it would have been easier to remain silent. It can be finally leaving an abusive relationship or perhaps making a career change that you know will improve your life. It can be a thousand little things that some have trouble with while others do not.

About a week ago, I was watching a show on TV and there was a segment about a lady, who after a car wreck some years back, now has a phobia of making right- hand turns. She will literally map out her trips so that she will only be making lefthand turns. Trips that normally took ten minutes, now take fifty minutes to make. It is going to take a lot of mental conditioning for this lady to build courage to overcome this phobia. She will have to reach a point in her life where she no longer wants to live like that. Then and only then will she be able to stop this fear.

A couple of issues back, I wrote about facing your fears. I believe that courage is what it takes to face and overcome your fears. Courage is an action whereas fear is an emotion. I had mentioned in that article that overcoming your fears will not happen overnight. The same goes for courage. You cannot beat yourself up for not immediately having the courage to do something in general or for not doing something that your heart says you should have done. Remember what I said earlier about how

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showing courage is easy for some, while others may have to work at it? This could be you, but don’t let it get you down. The first step in gaining the courage you need, will be to identify and admit to yourself that, “Yes, this is what I need to do.” Then you will take baby steps to move towards that decision. This may mean enrolling in classes, seeking out a mentor or setting aside a few hours a week to learn a new skill. Start with a list and then break it down into a smaller list and then smaller and smaller until you get to a point where you think “Hey, I can do that first step easily!”

Let me give you an example. Say you have always dreamed of being a professional barrel racer but you are deathly afraid of horses and all your life you have had family and friends telling you this was a foolish dream. This dream has consumed your thoughts for years and just won’t go away. So finally, you admit to yourself that this is something you must do, you cannot imagine yourself going a day longer without doing something to make this dream come true. You’re not listening to the naysayers any longer. You have finally decided to start your list of things to do that will start you on your way. But where do you begin? Well, being that you are scared of horses, your first step should probably be finding reading material that will teach you about their habits and behaviors, this will help you understand them more. Next, you will want to go where horses are so that you can observe them in action, maybe get close to them, touch them, and talk to them. This will help you become more comfortable around horses and then when you feel you are ready, the next step may be to start riding lessons. This may all seem relatively simple but this is what it takes to build courage. Each step you master will continue to build your confidence until there is no stopping you.

What fears have been holding you back? What steps do you need to take to gain the courage to overcome those fears? You and only you have control of what you can accomplish in your life. No one else can live your life for you. No more excuses! It’s time to saddle up and enjoy the ride!

Renita Odstrcil is a licensed texas Realtor. She is a member of the National Association of Professional Women, the National and Texas Association of Realtors, and the local B/CS Association of Realtors.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers In the year 2007 the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in England and said, ‘Once again, the earth has become wicked and over populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans.’

He gave Noah the CAD drawings, saying, ‘You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.’

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark. ‘Noah!’ He roared, ‘I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?’ ‘Forgive me, Lord,’ begged Noah, ‘but things have changed. I needed Building Regulations Approval and I’ve been arguing with the Fire Brigade about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I should have obtained planning permission for building the Ark in my garden because it is development of the site, even though in my view it is a temporary structure.

We had to then go to appeal to the Secretary of State for a decision.

Then the Department of Transport demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it. Getting the wood was another problem. All the decent trees have Tree Preservation Orders on them and we live in a Site of Special Scientific Interest set up in order to protect the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, the RSPCA sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the County Council, the Environment Agency and the Rivers Authority ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission on how many disabled carpenters I’m supposed to hire for my building team. The trades unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist I have to hire only accredited workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, Customs and Excise seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.’ Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, ‘You mean you’re not going to destroy the world?’ ‘No,’ said the Lord. ‘The British government beat me to it.’

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Have you ever thought much about how Mary must have felt as Jesus faced the horror of death on the cross and all that went before it? I’ve thought a little about it and realize some of what went on and how she may have felt during those days. Now, as you come to Easter, our time to remember what Christ did for all of mankind, may you be blessed by Jesus’ great gift of taking away our sins on the cross, and be blessed by God’s great plan for us to be brought back into relationship with him as we accept his son as the Messiah, the Savior.. Here are some thoughts I had about Mary.

Her heart ached. Her mind would not function. What is life to be now? What am I to do now? Thoughts whirled in her mind like the winds that blew up before an evening rain. Her life had been centered around him all of her adult days: ever since the encounter with the angel, ever since the unexpected announcement.

She’d not understood much of all this supernatural, this beyond the norm meeting: the sight of an angel, and then the words he’d spoken to her…”you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son and shall call his name Jesus…,and he will be called the Son of the Highest.” She kept hearing the words he’d said to her, the girl-woman. Over the years, the words had never left her. They were imbedded in her memory as clearly as the words of the Ten Commandments had been permanently written by God on the stone tablets.

She’d loved God all of her life. How could she not love God? He was God. She’d been taught God’s commands and laws from the time of any remembrance. She sensed his present; he was ever there with her. He’d never failed her.

But now, life was different. Certainly, she had been blessed of God to have sons and daughters with her husband Joseph.

They were a comfort to her. However, they had not accepted who Jesus was through the years, but they had been her help for many years. With the desire to follow God’s plan, her mind was focused on fulfilling the will of God. She desired to do what Yahweh wanted her to do with her first born, God’s supernatural son, the son of man/God. But now that Jesus was in the hands of the Roman government, what was she to do? She was a woman, a person who had limited authority. She could do little more than wait to hear news. The hours were excruciatingly long. Just last night she’d learned he’d been taken in the Garden while with his disciples.

Hundreds of soldiers had been summoned to get him. What did they think he’d do? Of course, they’d heard of his powers. Perhaps they had thought he’d fight them. But he went with them, yielded to them.

She’d wanted to cry out, “Why? Why would you not escape them as you’d done before…just walk away from them!” But now, he was in their hands. And when she would get herself to settle down and pray earnestly, she knew that she’d accept once again that he was supposed to do this. He was supposed to suffer. She’d come to understand that early as when he was an infant.

But the reality of having her son in the hands of the Roman government and opposed by the Jewish leadership was the hardest situation ever. The days and week ahead tore at her heart as she learned of Jesus facing fake trials, going before Pilate and then before Herod, and then back to Pilate. Then finally, as he’d been before the people, they shouted out for crucifixion; they’d

Mary, did you know...

by Scarlette Taylor

cried out, “Crucify Jesus.”

The horror of the cross! She’d known of crucifixions before.

But now, her own child, her first born, the child of God was crucified. It was too much to endure. However, the words of Simeon kept coming to her mind: “…a sword will pierce through your own soul.” She knew it was all about a master design greater than she could grasp. Her heart had truly been pierced through all of this, but she was realizing the fulfillment of Jesus’ role; he was to be the suffering savior.

His death came, and his burial…all so quickly. But even more quickly, the supernatural events began. Jesus had faced the beatings, the humiliation, the horror of the cross, and then burial in the tomb. But he’d survived. The cross, the grave, death itself were not victorious over Him. He’d come from the grave and was appearing to his own, showing them he was indeed the Christ, the son of God. Mary had joined with the disciples and other believers after Jesus’ burial. All they could think was that he’d died and been buried. All seemed to be over. All seemed futile. It seemed as if he’d not won. She’d prayed with other believers. They’d all been fearful and unsure of what to do. They’d believed their Jesus was gone. All seemed void, empty, hopeless.

Now, things were changing. Jesus was preparing them. They had work to do.

At the temple when Jesus was 12 years old, Mary and Joseph had found him answering and asking questions of the teachers.

They were upset with him not going home with them, but he told them that he “had to be about his father’s business.” Mary had been told directly that Jesus had work to do at the changing of the water to wine; he’d told his earthly mother that his time had not come for miracles. (His work was to be in God’s schedule) On and on, Jesus had witnessed to his followers that he and the father were one and that he had to do the father’s will. Mary certainly knew that. Jesus had always worked to fulfill the ministry his father had for him.

All the pain and anguish, all the fear and indecisiveness ended with Christ’s presence and then his ascension. Christ had been victorious! He’d proven he was the awaited Messiah, the son of God. All Mary’s pain and hurt melted away. Mary’s hear sang as she thought on the life of Christ, and how God had allowed her to be a small part of the most important life in history. She was strengthened by the supernatural events that had transpired, and her life with the Holy Spirit’s indwelling began.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

Say What?

There was an elderly man visiting a doctor for his checkup. As he was leaving he asked the doctor if he could recommend a specialist for his wife. “What’s wrong with her?” asked the doctor. The old man explained that her hearing was getting so bad that it was almost embarrassing. The doctor said he knew of several specialists that could help but he wanted the old man to do a little test when he got home to help the doctor determine the severity of her hearing loss. The doctor said “When you get home, make sure your wife’s back is turned to you and ask her a question. If she doesn’t respond walk closer and ask her again. Keep doing this until she answers and let me know the results”.

That night when the old man opened the door of his home he could see his wife in the kitchen preparing dinner.

She was at the counter with her back to the door. “What’s for dinner?” the old man asked. His wife did not respond so he walks to the doorway of the kitchen and asked the question again. Still, he was greeted with silence. This time he walks up just behind her and asks once again “What’s for dinner?” His wife spins around a bit agitated and says “For the third time, Fried Chicken!!”

After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at RheinMain Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me -- all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, Maam, he said, do all these children and this luggage belong to you? Yes, sir, my mother said with a sigh, theyre all mine. The customs agent began his interrogation: Maam, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession? Sir, she calmly answered, if I’d had any of those items, I would have used them by now.

The Cab Driver A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”

The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”

The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years”.

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A Dedicated Life The Life and Times of Thomas L. Goodnight, Jr.

by Jimmy Boedeker

Thomas L. Goodnight, Jr. with his parents Dr. & Mrs. Thomas L. Goodnight, Sr.

Thomas Luther Goodnight, Jr. was born at Old Memorial Hospital in Houston, Texas, in 1936. He weighed in at a little over two pounds. His father was Burleson County medical doctor Dr. Thomas L. Good night, Sr. who practiced medicine in Caldwell/Burleson County form 1917 to 1945 and even some until his death in 1948.

Thomas Jr. (Tomee, a nickname that stuck) was challenged from his day of birth. Many may have thought he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but unknown by many was the fact that Tomee was born with a club foot. The challenge of living continued when Tomee came home from the hospital and his body rejected his mother’s milk.

Soon it became apparent to his mother, Laurinda Windel Goodnight, and his dad, Dr. Goodnight, that something must be done to save Tomee. A lactating mother was found in Caldwell who agreed to furnish Tomee with milk that agreed with him.

He survived. Although the challenge of the club foot continued.

And even to this day it is an issue. He’s been confined to a wheelchair since 2006.

Tomee and his beautiful wife Betsy life in their house on W. Buck Street in Caldwell. Tomee had been blessed with a daughter, Lonneda by his first wife. Lonneda worked in the emergency room in Caldwell and now as an RN in College Station . She has two children: Benton Thomas Arnett, who will graduate from A&M in May with a Master Degree in Political Science; and daughter, Lacey Jane, who was Valendictorian of her class at Caldwell High in 2013 and now attends the University of Texas in Austin.

Tomee was loved by his classmates at Caldwell Schools and it was thought by many that he would follow in his dad’s footsteps and become a physician. Tomee had a great love and respect for his dad who spent long days and nights as a physician and would not see his family on occasion as long as two weeks.

Roads were rough and winters cold as Dr. Goodnight made his rounds. Tomee states his dad was served food along his route by patients and friends. Tomee also said his mother would keep

clean clothes for his dad in an outside building so as not to come in the house and spread germs to his family that he was exposed to in his profession.

Tomee would choose other fields when he attended college.

He graduated from Caldwell HIgh School in 1954. Early on he’d shown a great love for horses and cattle. As a youngster, he even had a small pony that he would sometimes ride in the house when weather was inclement.

When time came for higher education, his mother stated he would be attending Baylor University but the horse was not going. Tomee spent many hours at the family ranch southwest of town, building fences, checking cattle, training horses and doing the many, many chores necessary to keep a ranch going and profitable. This he continued throughout his life. Tomee became a Baylor University graduate in 1958 with a degree in Special Education and a minor in chemistry. Tomee then taught school and worked with law enforcement in the field of Ministry.

Tomee taught 10 years of Special Education in Lexington and served on the Texas Youth Council as well. He served thirty eight years of voluntary work at the state School in Brenham. Tomee never built the house he talked so much about in his early years out on his ranch, so his house in the city remains his office, but his love is being out on the ranch.

Tomee with his wife Betsy recently attended a ceremony in Waco for Caldwell ’s own Charlie Krueger who was inducted into the Texas Sports Hall of Fame. Betsy stated it took hours to get Tomee ready and aboard for the trip. Charlie, everyone’s friend in Caldwell (a whole new story), was an outstanding player for the Caldwell Hornets in the 1950’s and was named all American at Texas A&M. Charlie who rose to fame during his 15 season career with the San Francisco 49er’s did not attend the ceremony perhaps due to health but was adamant that Tomee and many of his friends from Calwell would attend.

Tomee loves life and his many friends, their accomplishments and endeavors. Tomee did well in all his endeavors, however, his love for horses and cattle remain a big part of his life on the ranch, which he still owns today. Many believe Tomee knows more about horses that anyone, and when he whispered to horses, I think they may have whispered back.

“With enough courage, you can do without a reputation.”

Margaret Mitchell

Local Means Being There When You Need Us Fire Water Restoration Emergency Service is a new business to Caldwell that can meet many needs. Though the business is certainly a fire and water emergency service, it is also a business that the average person can call on for cleaning and restoring.

They will clean carpets, tile, and grout. They will also pressure wash whatever you need washed. And air duct cleaning is another of their specialties, as is odor control/removal.

Owner Danny Norman’s business is located at 1107 Foundation Drive, Caldwell, TX 77836. He may be reached at 979.574.3542 or by email at danny@firewater texas.com. His business is on call 24/7 for emergencies.

Danny started in the restoration business with Pure Clean Emergency Service as part of a corporate franchise in 2010. Then in June 2013, his Fire Water Restoration Emergency Service became an independent service company.

Wife Lisa Marie Bengel and children Lauren, Callee and Chance have lived in the area for years. Danny grew up in Frenstat, and graduated from Somerville High School. Then he worked in his family’s business, Allied Precision, for 30+ years.

The family’s religious faith is important to them.

Danny has been a member of First Assembly of God for 25 years, and now the family is attending Covenant Family Church in College Station.

Make Your First Call To: Fire Water Restoration Emergency Service for your individual or emergency needs.

979-574-3542 Services provided to individual property owners, insurance companies, realtors and property managers.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat." The cowboy groaned but didnt budge. The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you dont get up from there, Im going to have to call the manager. The cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, whats youre name?" "Sam," the cowboy moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied.... "The balcony."

A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last request, to which the cowboy replies, "Ah shore do, wardn. Ahd be mighty grateful ifn yood play Achy Breaky Heart fur me bahfore ah hafta go.""Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that," says the warden. He turns to the biker, "And you, biker, whats your last request?""That you kill me first."

A man sat quietly reading his morning paper one Sunday morning. Suddenly, he is knocked almost senseless by his wife, who stands behind him holding a frying pan in hand. Man: "What was that for?" Wife: "Why do you have a piece of paper in your pocket with "Daisy" written on it?" Man: "Oh honey, don't you remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Daisy was the name of the horse I bet on." The wife was satisfied, and appologized for bonking him. Three days later he is again sitting reading the paper when once again he is bonked on the head. Man: "What's that for this time?" Wife: "Your horse called."

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Only

Beautiful People Leave Here

C

indy’s Hair Salon is one of the new businesses that many in Caldwell have watched being built. That is because the salon is located at 706 North Main Street, on the street many drive to get to Walmart. The attractive new building with large parking space is an added value to our community.

Cindy Maresh is the new owner and is open Tuesday through Saturday. Her hours are Tuesday, Thursday, Friday 9:00 am to 6:00 pm; Wednesday 9:00 am to 3:00 pm, and Saturday 10:00 am to 2:00 pm.

The services provided at the shop are cuts, coloring, perms, and foils. Cindy has been a stylist for 17 years and brings experience to her clients. She has worked for others, but now her dream of owning her own shop has come to be.

Long range plans for Cindy’s Hair Salon is to recruit additional hair stylists to provide to the community choices and convenience.

If you don’t have a stylist in Caldwell, if you are new to Caldwell, or if you want to try someone new to take care of your hair needs, be sure to keep Cindy’s Hair Salon in mind.

Cindy was born in Caldwell to Lillie and Melvin Albrecht.

She graduated from Caldwell High School in 1993, enrolled at Charles & Sue’s School of Hair Design in Bryan in 1994 where she graduated with her beauty license in 1995.

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In 1997, Cindy married Keith Maresh and had two children, Emily and Colby.

The future looks bright for this newly constructed hair salon. It is a stylish and elegant space which includes a comfortable waiting area, receptionist counter and plenty of room to expand for those future styling stations. With a convenient location it will be easy to schedule in that new hairstyle while you are getting all those errands done for the day.

For an appointment call

979-567-4418.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers "This week marks the 40th anniversary of the Watergate

hearings. For those of you too young to remember, back then the administration had an enemies list. They were spying on reporters, and they used the IRS to harass groups they didn't like.

Thank God those days are gone forever." –Jay Leno “This week will mark the 37th time House Republicans have tried to repeal Obamacare. If Republicans really wanted to do away with Obamacare they should just endorse it as a conservative non-profit and let the IRS take it down.” –Jay Leno The White House admitted President Obama’s chief of staff had advance warning that the IRS was targeting conservative groups. President Obama says the first time he heard about the IRS and AP scandals was from the media. See, that’s why President Obama holds press conferences. It’s not to explain what’s going on. It’s to find out what’s going on.” –Jay Leno “A new report just came out. It says someone close to the president knew about the IRS scandal and kept his mouth shut.

In other words, we can rule out Joe Biden.” –Conan O’Brien

Remembering

Dave “Always a Friend”

You could always find David at work, or on the way to work, or just leaving work.

passtime was spending time with family and friends.

David is also well know for all the benefits he held for people in need. He was truly community and people oriented.

“Big Dave” is the nickname given to a local respected business owner. He owned the Longhorn Saloon, Mudd Katts Serving as President of the SPJST Lodge and President of Restaurant and was the manager of Zip-N Convenience the Burleson County Czech Heritage Museum in an examStore. ple of his community spirit.

When he wasn’t working, you might find him enjoying a David has been a friend to the Front Porch Magazine for game of dominoes, singing karaoke, taking long rides in years. He will not only be missed by us but by many in the the country or watching his beloved Aggies, but his favorite community.

Courage (kur-ij) noun

1. The power or ability to deal with or face danger, fear, pain, etc.

2. The courage of one’s convictions; the confidence to act in accordance with one’s belief.

Courage is all around us. We often don’t see it or recognize it in our day-to-day lives because we are too busy with our own routines. We most often don’t even think about it. But the evidence is all around.

Thinking back on my own experiences, I can see that courage was visible, if not crying out to any who might be sensitive enough to see it. Last year as baseball season rolled around, my grandson wanted to join a team and play baseball. He’d not played and was excited at the prospect. However, when the school day was over and the time came for him to go to his first practice of the season, he was fearful. There were boys there who were a year older than he. He wasn’t sure that he could do what was required. But, with the encouragement of a classmate, he slowly ventured out of the car and on to the field to warm up with the others who were tossing the ball around. It took courage.

Courage was also required when a friend of mine had a stroke. Her right side was paralyzed; walking with a cane or walker was hard. And driving her car required special situating of her functioning “good” leg. I can’t imagine the courage it took to drive her car that first time…alone. She’d been trained to drive with the help of a friend. But the time came for her to do it all alone. Her courage carried her through, as it has in so many endeavors she’s becomes a vital part of.

Just think of the courage required to do much in life: The courage of a baby to pull up on legs not steady and begin to place one foot in front of the other to move about as others are doing.

The courage of a teen-ager who performs for the first time.

The courage of a new mother to care for a normal child, much less a child with special needs.

The courage of a basketball player to stand at the line and shoot the free throw that will determine the outcome of the game.

The courage of a divorcee to go on alone, when he/she is no longer a couple.

The courage to go on when the doctor’s diagnosis confirms there is no hope.

The courage to face others and say I messed up after having been in prison.

The courage to find your dignity after you’ve been fired from your job.

The courage to keep on trying when you’ve been rejected over and over.

The courage of an aging spouse to face life without the one she’s loved for 50 years.

The courage to say I’m sorry.

The courage to try again.

The courage to hope.

The courage to forgive.

The courage to believe.

The courage to be transparent.

The courage to love again.

The courage to trust.

The courage to live life to the fullest.

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Watermelon Lemonade 8 cups cubed seedless watermelon 2 (12 ounce) cans frozen lemonade concentrate 4 cups water Place watermelon ina blender or food processor. Cover and blend on medium speed until smooth.

Place lemonade concentrate and water in a large pitcher or punch bowl.

Add watermelon and mix well.

Watermelon Salad with Mint Leaves 1 (5-pound) watermelon 1 sween onion 1/3 cup red or white wine vinegar Sald and freshly-ground pepper 1/3 to 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil 2 Tbs chopped fresh mint leaves 6 whole mint springs (for garnish)

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Cut the flesh from the melon and cut into bite-size pieces, removing and discarding any seeds. Place watermelon pieces in a large serving bowl. Peal and slice the onion into rings. Gently combine the onion rings and water melon together.

In a small bowl, combine the vinegar, salt and pepper; whisk until salt is dissolved.

Slowly whick in the olive oil, a few drops at a time. Add in the chopped mint. Pour the dressing over the melon/onion mixture and toss gently until coated evenly. Garnish.

Creamy Watermelon Ice Cream 1/2 cup freshly juiced watermelon 1 tsp vanilla extract 1 cup milk 1 cup cream 1/4 cup honey Wash watermelon, Cut in half. With a spoon, scoop out chunks of watermelon and juice them in a juicer until you have 1/2 cup of juice.

Add watermelon juice, vanilla, milk, cream and honey to blender.

Blend on a lower setting just until smooth and combined, about 5 seconds. Be careful not to blend too long, you don’t want a lot of air in the mixture. If any foam forms on the top, remove this with a spoon.

Pour mixture into ice cream maker.

Turn machine on and mix according to your ice cream maker’s instructions.

Ice cream will start to have a “soft serve” texture when it is done. If you prefer it to be a little firmer or need to serve it later, place in the freezer to harden. Yields 1 quart.

SALADS Cucumber & Dill Salad

3 medium cucumbers, peeled and very thinly sliced 1 small white onion, very thinly sliced 2 teaspoons sea salt, more to taste 2 tablespoons white or red wine vinegar 1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh dill Method: Toss cucumber and onion slices in a large colander with 2 teaspoons sea salt. Place colander over a bowl to catch draining liquid and refrigerate for 1 to 2 hours. The cucumbers will shrink considerably as the salt releases their moisture.

Rinse cucumbers and onions under cold running water to rinse off salt. Set aside to drain thoroughly, about 20 minutes.

Toss drained cucumber and onion with wine vinegar, dill and a pinch of salt, if desired. Cover and refrigerate 1 to 2 hours more until ready to serve.

Shaved Fennel Salad with Dill, Arugula, and Walnuts

Ingredients 2 small bulbs fennel, trimmed, cored, and thinly shaved (about 3 cups) 1 1/4 cups thinly sliced zucchini (1 medium) 2/3 cup coarsely snipped fresh dill 1/4 cup lemon juice 1/4 cup walnut oil or olive oil 1 teaspoon honey 1/4 teaspoon salt 6 cups arugula 1/2 cup chopped walnuts, toasted 1/3 cup crumbled feta cheese

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Directions In a medium bowl combine fennel, zucchini, and dill.

For dressing, in a screw-top jar combine lemon juice, oil, honey, and salt. Cover and shake well to combine. Add dressing to fennel mixture; toss to coat. Marinate at room temperature for at least 20 minutes or up to 1 hour.

To serve, place arugula in a large serving bowl. Add undrained fennel mixture. Toss gently to combine. Sprinkle with walnuts and feta cheese.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers The $1000 Bet The local bar was confident its bartender was the strongest man around so they offered a standing $1,000 bet.

The barkeep would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, then hand the lemon to a patron.

Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.

Many people--weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc. had tried over time, but nobody could do it.

One day, a scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I"d like to try the bet."

After the laughter had died down, the bartender said okay, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away.

He then handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.

But the crowd"s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1,000 and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living?

Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?"

The man replied, "I work for The IRS

The Tax Code of the United States has become so complicated and confusing that over half of all taxpayers now have their tax forms prepared by professionals. There are two good reasons to call the IRS help line for your tax questions instead. First it is FREE. Second, if you do not like the answer you can just call again later, the answer will be different every time.

That

Small Town A

lmost every time I came to see my Mom in Caldwell, we would take a drive and visit with old friends. As we stepped back in time, the tall ancient trees, colorful flowers, and quiet peace of our destination added clarity to our thoughts.

“Let’s stop here a minute,” Mom would say. Then seeing a treasured friend’s name, she would recall the early morning “Come as You Are Breakfast.” The party was a spur of the moment event. One of the neighbor moms would call early that morning. We would all pile in the car and drive to someone’s house for a fancy breakfast. The catch was that we all had to come as we were. The gown and robe clad parent, all with kids in pajamas, made for a memorable get together.

At other times, as we stepped into the past, we saw the family home of familiar friends, for a happy reunion of fellowship, food, and games. The dads enjoyed a hardy game of forty-two dominoes, while the moms played competitive bridge, and a huge pot of spaghetti simmered on the stovetop. We roasted marshmallows on a stick standing around a big pile of burning brush, caught lightning bugs in a jar, and played baseball at twilight. After dinner, we would gather around the piano and sing old favorites, or play board games, while listening to the familiar tunes.

Next stop, and just across the street from where Dad rests, we might open the front door to accept bread pudding from a good friend, my sister-in-law’s mom. The best cook around.

The memories of school events, beauty pageants, and band concerts came alive as we visited former teachers, classmates, and town people. We laughed together about our out of town trips, including one to sing for the soldiers at Fort Hood, as part of Katie’s Chorus.

As we passed the town doctor, Mom reminded me that I was born in the third house from the corner, on Fawn Street. The only doctor in town at that time delivered me at home after the Friday night football game, saying he wouldn’t come until after the big game was over! We also ran across the flirtatious lady who went to the cute young Italian doctor some fifty years ago to get “extra examinations,” a choir director who was a little loose with her affections, and our sheriff with a heart of gold. He was our protector and friend.

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The director of a local bank will always have a place in my heart. Once right after I was married, I needed money to meet my husband, then in the Army. He was going to be on Rest & Relaxation, in Hawaii. Instead of my dad giving me the money, he told me to go talk to the director of the local bank. I did go talk to him, signed a note, and he loaned me the money. I believe it was $300 for a ticket to Hawaii including expenses. That kind man gave me the money because of my Dad. He knew my Dad would honor my debt if I did not. I did pay the sum back, but I was aware that I received the money because we lived in a small town where neighbors help one another.

We recalled our close neighbor in Chriesman, his colorful family, and living on our dairy farm. The milk cow who got stuck in the wood fence was a reminder that sometimes we need to choose a side, and stick with it.

Because we lived about a mile from the bus stop, Mom drove us, in the golf cart, to the main road, where we caught the country school bus. Her story is that she couldn’t ride a bicycle or drive a golf cart without going straight into the object she was trying to avoid; she did have a run in with the occasional tree. One of our favorite teachers, who was a combination bus driver, coach, and history teacher, picked us up each morning for our long ride in to the metropolis of Caldwell. He was a no nonsense man, with a soft heart. Our bus mates and classmates are lifelong friends, some of whom already rest in this quiet, forever sanctuary.

Our social calls to old friends at the cemetery renewed and comforted us. These beloved people are the men and women who were our firemen, our preachers, our teachers, and our friends. Driving out through the arched gate, we stepped back into the present, our spirits lifted. It was as if we had been covered by a quilt that may wear out, but continues its warmth forever.

I wish they knew what a difference they made.

In his play, Our Town, Thornton Wilder reminds us that “Everybody knows in their bones, there’s something eternal, and that something has to do with human beings. People can share this eternal nature through their daily interactions with one another.”

By Donna Varner Presnal Retired Teacher and former Caldwell resident

VACCINATOLOGy Part II

for the Companion Animal, Equine Guardian and Livestock Producer

by Jack F. McKemie, DVM This is a continuation of the vaccine article published in the Front Porch last edition. We will discuss in brief the various core (highly recommended) and non- core (recommended on a case by case basis) vaccinations in companion and livestock animals. For more detailed information and customized plan, consult your County Extension Agent or your primary care veterinarian.

Rabies is by far the most important vaccine to consider for most warm blooded mammals. Rabies is a virus that is spread through saliva of mammals which are exhibiting behavior changes, drooling, weakness or voice changes. These changes typically occur in the last 10 days of rabies infection and culminate with death. Bats, skunks, foxes, raccoons and other wild canids are the most common vectors for this disease. Once contracted, rabies is almost 100% fatal. In the United States, there are several hundred cases of domestic animal rabies a year and multiple human cases. It is imperative for you to have your companion animals vaccinated between three and six months of age and boosted one year later. Once your dog or cat has been vaccinated two years in a row with a three year, licensed vaccine, you may elect to booster the rabies vaccine every three years. There are a few exceptions to this rule. First, in cats, there is a one year

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license vaccine (to reduce the chance of contracting the sarcoma virus tumor). We have learned that 1/10,000 cats can have a reaction with the three year vaccine and develop an aggressive cancer at the injection site. So if you have cats, you can choose a three year licensed vaccine and take that chance or play it safe and vaccinate your cat yearly with the one year labeled vaccine. If you have free roaming dogs or working canines that have close contact with common vectors of rabies virus, you may consider giving the three year labeled vaccine yearly or every other year to insure a high titer (protection) against this deadly virus. Since there are no approved three year vaccines for livestock, all horses, cattle, sheep and goats need yearly vaccination to assure their protection. Bi-annual to annual health checks with your regular veterinarian are recommended for your companion animals and equine. Their vaccination protocol should be reviewed at that time to choose for the life style of the pet.

We will next focus on the other core and non-core vaccines by species. All canines should be vaccinated with a combo vaccine of Distemper, Parvo, Adenovirus, and Para influenza Virus, (DAPP). This vaccine can be boosted yearly but has been shown to stay in the pet’s immune system for three to five years, once administered as a series (three vaccinations, one month

apart) to puppies and boosted at one year of age. It is important to note that the booster at one year (be it RV, canine or feline combos) not be skipped. It has been shown to seal the immunity deal and allow you extended protection (vaccine titers) for up to three years in most cases. If not given, your pet may still be susceptible to preventable diseases.

There are many other non-core biologicals such as Leptospirosis, Bordatella (kennel cough), Canine Influenza, and Crotalus Atrox (pit Viper snake), vaccine that can be added. One should consider your canine’s lifestyle carefully before administering the non-core vaccines. All non-core vaccines require yearly boosters. Pros and cons of each can be goten from your vet.

The core vaccine for all felines is a combination of Herpesvirus, Calicivirus, and Panleukopenia (the feline Parvo virus). There is only one non-core vaccine recommended for your feline, feline Leukemia. It is a good idea to test your cat or kitten for Leukemia and Feline Immunodeficiency Virus (FIV) before using this vaccine. Other non-core vaccines that are not recommended are Feline Immunodeficiency Virus, virulent Calicivirus, Chlamydia, Bordatella, and Feline Infectous Peritonitis. These non-core vaccines are licensed and approved by the FDA, however provide poor or no protection against disease.

Equine core vaccines include Tetanus, Eastern and Western Encephalomyelitis (sleeping sickness), West Nile virus, and Rabies. The vaccine for Encephalomyelitis and tetanus usually come as a combination vaccine and are very cost effective.

The West Nile vaccine is pricier but is well worth it since people and horses have sensitivity to the virus. Non-core vaccines in this area include Herpes virus, Viral Arterititis, Influenza, and Strangles (equine strep). I would definitely recommend Herpes virus, Influenza, and Strangles to any horse that is shown or hauled to various venues. Equine are very prone to upper respiratory infections and these biological can either reduce the infection impact or prevent it all together.

In cattle, the core vaccine is Clostridial

VacCinatology Part II (Cont’d)

combination or Black Leg (8-way). This vaccine should be given to calves three to six months of age and always boosted in 30 to 45 days. Clostridial spores can live in the soil indefinitely. Bovine or small ruminant producers are well advised to administer this biological two to three times and yearly as a booster. Even though adult production ruminants are less prone to this disease, they can pass on maternal immunity to their offspring. In calves other noncore vaccines include the respiratory combination of Infectious Bovine Rhinotracheatis, Para influenza, Bovine Viral diarrhea and respiratory syncitial virus. Administration of these biologics again helps reduce death loss and increase production (rate of gain) in young cattle. In breeding cattle Leptospirosis, Vibrio and Brucellosis are also important. Brucellosis has been basically eliminated in Texas except for the southern counties bordering Mexico. It is still recommended due to the influx of cattle from Mexico, and must be administered between the ages of four and twelve months of age by a USDA accredited veterinarian. This vaccine also assigns an animal ID number required by the State of Texas. In breeding cattle, common causes of abortion are Leptospirosis and Vibrio. With the over population of feral hogs and other wild canid, we have seen a spike in Lepto infections. I also highly recommend that biologic in your breeding animal herd.

Sheep and goats should receive the Clostridial 8- way vaccine at 6, 10, and 18 weeks of age and for breeding animals consider Leptospirosis as well.

Swine vaccine should begin with the breeder at 8, 12, and 24 weeks of age usually with Erysipelothrix and tetanus. For production swine, there are numerous combination vaccines on the market that are given twice a year. Rabies vaccine in swine is controversial because there are no approved vaccines for that species.

To summarize, all species of companion animals and livestock need a vaccination protocol beginning once their maternal immunity starts to wane, boosted at a year of age and again annually, to every 3 years. Rabies should be a core vaccine for most mammals that are in close contact with humans. You should consult your local County Extension Agent or your primary care veterinarian to standardize a vaccine protocol that best suits your pet or livestock operation.

In conclusion vaccinations are a very important part of animal husbandry that can save lives and increase productivity. It is paramount that they are done at the correct time and with proper technique. Anyone can do them but I recommend you have your veterinarian administer them if possible. Typically vaccinations are associated with health checks, heartworm testing, deworming, teeth floating and consultation with various problems you are having with your pet or livestock. In addition, only veterinarians can administer Rabies and brucellosis biologicals.

Thank you for your attention and PLEASE spay and neuter your companion animals to help stop the cruel pet dumping problem in Burleson County.

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?""I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He cant swim."

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What Goes Aournd Comes Around

He almost didn't see the old lady, stranded on the side of the A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help.

So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so ..... was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry.

He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold.

He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you.

He said, "I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson."

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.

As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk.

The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid.

This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life helping others, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.

He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, "And think of me."

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home.

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in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase.

The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude.

The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan.

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be.

Then she noticed something written on the napkin. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: "You don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you."

Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written.

How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard.

She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, "Everything's gonna be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson."

There is an old saying "What goes around comes around."

Experts on an Age Old Question

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

lem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, goshdarn it, he’s a maverick!

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be re- PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking quired to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

American.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road be- MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way cause he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dia- the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s logue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.

No little bird gave me any insider information.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken not been told. crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone. us. There is no middle ground here.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun? the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it’s lifelong dream of crossing the AL GORE: I invented the chicken. road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2013, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important docuDR. PHIL: The prob- ments and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an inlem we have here tegral part of eChicken2013. This new platform is much more is that this chicken stable and will never reboot. won’t realize that he must first deal with ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or the problem on this did the road move beneath the chicken? side of the road before it goes after the prob- COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

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Courage When Facing a Crisis Pregnancy

By Tracy Frank Executive Director Hope Pregnancy Center of Brazos Valley

“Your test is positive.” Those are four scary words when you are not planning on having a baby. Whether single or married, in school or not, financially stable or living paycheck to paycheck, if a baby wasn’t in your short term or even long term plans your world just flipped upside down. Your initial thoughts? Dreams shattered, relationships strained and nothing will ever be the same again. In that moment of crisis, it will seem overwhelming, but there is hope.

Walt Disney said, “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” Having an unplanned baby might seem like a dream ender, but it doesn’t have to be. While your plans and the timing might change, your dreams can still be within reach. In fact, having a baby might add clarity or shift you into a different, more positive direction. For example, you might have planned on a career as a nurse or a doctor, but hadn’t yet decided on what particular field. Having a baby might make a labor and delivery nurse or a pediatrician more attractive.

God gives miracles to those who believe, courage to those with faith, hope to those who dream, and love to those who accept.

Revealing your unplanned pregnancy to those closest to you can be difficult. But it’s important to let them know so you won’t have to deal with everything alone. You have your dreams, but your parents have had their own dreams for you since the day you were born. You may think you know how your family will respond, but you also might be surprised. Give them a little time to readjust.

Family members and friends may react in different ways, but open and honest communication is vital. Those who have been through a similar situation (and there may be more than you realize) can often provide valuable support. It has been said that hard times will always reveal true friends and it is certainly possible that some so-called friends will walk away. However, those left behind will be friends you can count on for a lifetime.

Of course, the most difficult relationship could be with the baby’s father. Even in the best of circumstances, having a baby can strain a relationship. Your new flood of hormones alone can be enough to drive a good man a little crazy. The Greek philosopher Epicurus said over 2200 years ago, “You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday.

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You develop it by surviving the difficult times and challenging adversity.” Whether he is involved or not, he will always be your baby’s father. Don’t burn bridges by saying or doing something today that you might regret tomorrow. More than likely, he is facing a future he didn’t plan and will also need some time to readjust and do the right thing.

Finally, you are correct that nothing will ever be the same again. Yet, life is full of change and life changing events. “The only constant is change” is another nugget of wisdom from a Greek philosopher named Heraclitus. Even though your life has been catapulted into unknown territory, remember that God is big enough to handle your fears, doubts and questions.

Pain can be a catalyst for personal growth. Rest in the fact that His love is everlasting and unconditional. The serenity prayer can be helpful, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” ~Walt Disney~

“Your test is positive” – scary, but Hope Pregnancy Center can help. We can provide resources and referrals to help you as you seek to follow your dreams, work through your relationships and deal with change.

Hope Pregnancy Center of the Brazos Valley is a faith-based,

non-profit organization providing a safe and confidential refuge for those in crisis. Free services include: pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, one on one peer counseling, parenting and life skills classes and materials through our ‘earn while you learn’ program.

Traditionally, Hope is known as a provider of services for women, but through the years has recognized the need and developed programs for men soon to be fathers. To find more information about Hope go to www.hopepregnancy.org or call 979-695-9193.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers His Son Got A Part In The School Play Share on facebook Share on twitter Share on email Share on print More Sharing Services

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Billy’s father picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the acting roles for the school play were being posted that day, he asked Billy if he got a part.

Billy enthusiastically announced that he’d gotten a part. “I play a man who’s been married for twenty years.”

“That’s great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they’ll be giving you a speaking part.”

We Need A New Cuckoo Clock The other night I was invited out for a night with the girls. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight.

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3AM, a bit loaded, I headed home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and ‘cuckooed’ three times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I ‘cuckooed’ another NINE times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quickwitted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him, “Midnight.”

He didn’t seem angry in the least. Whew, I got away with that one!

Then he said, “But we need a new clock.”

When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, ‘ouch.’ Cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table.”

It is incredible how much intelligence is used in this world to prove nonsense.

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You Think You Know What Teachers Do. Right? Wrong.

We all know what teachers do, right?

After all, we were all students. Each one of us aproduct of public education in class after class for thirteen years. We encountered dozens of teachers: kindergarten, first grade teachers, fifth grade, gym, art, music, science teachers and our social studies and English teachers math teachers. If we were lucky, we might have had our Latin or our Spanish or physics, or our psychology teachers. We had guidance counselors and principals and some of us had special education teachers. So we know teachers. We get teachers. We know what happens in classrooms, and we know what teachers do. We know which teachers are effective, or left lasting impressions; we know which teachers changed our lives, and we sucked. We know. We know which teachers changed lives for the better. We know which teachers changed lives for the worse. Teaching as a profession has no mystery. It has no mystique. It has no respect.

We were students, and therefore we know teachers, denigrate teachers, and criticize teachers. We can do better than teachers. After all: We DO. They TEACH. We are wrong. We need to honor teachers. We need to respect teachers, listen to teachers and stop reducing teachers to arbitrary measurements of student growth on so-called objective exams. Most of all, we need to stop thinking that we know anything about teaching merely by virtue of having once been students. We don’t know.

I spent a little over a year earning a master of arts in teaching degree. Then I spent two years teaching English Language Arts in a rural public high school.

And I learned that my 13 years as a public school student, my 4 years as a college student, and my year as a master’s degree student in the education school of a flagship public university hadn’t taught me how to manage a classroom, how to reach students, how to inspire a love of learn-

ing, how to teach. Only years of practicing my skills and honing my skills would have rendered me a true professional, an expert, one who knows about inspiring children, reaching students, making a difference.

I didn’t stay. I copped out. I left. I went home to suburban New Jersey. A year later I enrolled in law school, passed the bar and began to practice law at a prestigious large law firm. Three years as a law student had no more prepared me for the practice of law than 18 years of experience as a student had previously prepared me to teach. But even in my first year as a practicing attorney, I earned five times what a first-year teacher made in the district where I’d taught. I worked hard in my first year of practicing law. But I didn’t work five times harder than I’d worked in my first year of teaching. In fact, I didn’t work any harder. Maybe I worked a little less.

But I continued to practice and learn.

Nine years after my law school graduation, I think I have some idea of how to litigate a case. New teachers take on full responsibility the day they set foot in their first classrooms. The people I encounter out in the world now respect me as a lawyer, as a professional, in part because the vast majority of them have absolutely no idea what I really do.

All of you former students who are not teachers and not lawyers, you have no more idea of what it is to teach than you do of what it is to practice law. All of you former students: you did not design curricula, plan lessons, attend faculty meetings, assess papers, design rubrics, create exams, prepare report cards, and monitor attendance. You did not tutor students, review rough drafts, and create study questions. You did not assign homework, write daily lesson objectives, write homework. You did not design lessons that succeeded or failed. You did not learn to keep your students quiet during

lock down drills.

You did not learn that your 15-yearold students were pregnant from their answers to vocabulary quizzes. You did not learn how to teach functionally illiterate high school students to appreciate Shakespeare. You did not design lessons to teach students close reading skills by starting with the lyrics to pop songs. You did not miserably fail your honors level students at least in part because you had no books to give them. You did not struggle to teach your students how to develop a thesis for their essays, and bask in the joy of having taught a successful lesson, of having gotten through to them, even for five minutes. You did not struggle with trying to make SAT-level vocabulary relevant to students who did not have a single college in their county. You did not laugh — because you so desperately wanted to cry — when you read some of the absurdities on their final exams. You did not struggle to reach students who proudly announced that they only came to school so that their mom’s food stamps didn’t get reduced.

You did not spend all of New Years’ Day crying five years after you’d left the classroom because you reviewed The New York Times’ graphic of soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan and learned that one of your very favorite students had been killed in Iraq two years before. And you didn’t know. Because you copped out and left. So you cried, helplessly, and the next day you returned to the practice of law. You did not. And you don’t know. You observed. Maybe you learned. But you didn’t teach. The problem with teaching as a profession is that every single adult citizen of this country thinks that they know what teachers do. And they don’t.

So they prescribe solutions, and they develop public policy, and they editorialize, and they politicize. And they don’t listen to those who do know, those who could teach, teachers.

By Sarah Blaine

Reach for the Stars

by Sharon Ann Laffere

Front Porch Magazine would like to thank our Advertisers and Writers for their continued support.

As my sweet niece ventures out into this complex and ever-changing world, I wish I had words of wisdom to share with her. Faith, family, and friends have always been my foundation during challenging and uncertain times. Therefore, I will share the best advice I have received from the best friends I have ever known.

Life is a journey, not a destination. Follow your own path.

Follow your own heart.

Love with a kind heart. Listen with an open mind.

Give with a generous soul.

Cherish loyal friends. Be a faithful friend. Share the joy.

Ease the burden.

Be true to your word. Live authentically.

Respect yourself and others Stay true to convictions. Never compromise values.

Trust your instincts.

Continue learning. Learn from your mistakes.

Forgive yourself and forgive others.

Embrace your faith. Give thanks.

Appreciate each step of the journey.

Dare to dream. Keep hope alive. Practice patience. Persevere.

Reach for the stars!

Congratulations to Christan and the Class of 2014!

My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, “You know, I brought you into this world, I’ll take you out. And it don’t make no difference to me, I’ll make another one looks just like you.”

Bill Cosby

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U Can’t Hide Redneck Redneck Special Forces The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF) Red Neck Freedom Fighter - These boys will be dropped off in Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists : 1. The season opened today.

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.

5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt .

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

Lost Two rednecks from Arkansas were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something.

The first redneck says to the other, “If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you. ”After about three hours, the second redneck finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo.

The next morning, the first redneck finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the second redneck man if he did what he told him to do. The redneck answers, “Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows.”

Bubba Had Shingles Here's what happened to Bubba: Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had.

Bubba said, 'Shingles' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had.

Bubba said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'

Bubba said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??'

You Might Be A Redneck if directions to your house include "Turn off the paved road."

If your neighbors think you’re a detective because a cop always brings you home.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Arguing with children can be risky

In an elementary school lesson, one little girl in the class raised her hand and said: “I just learned that Jonah in the bible was swallowed by a whale.”

The teacher explained that it is physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.

The girl did not believe him and replied, “I am almost certain Jonah was swallowed by a whale.”

“I am telling you, it is not possible,” replied the teacher.

The little girl raised her hand again. “My Sunday school teacher told me Jonah was swallowed by a whale and she would not lie to me.”

Frustrated, the teacher replied, “That is a ‘story’ from the bible, it is not factual, and I will not argue with you anymore.”

After a little thought, the girl finally responded, “Well, when I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah myself ”.

In an attempt to fluster the little girl, the teacher replied, “What if Jonah didn’t go to heaven?”

The girl quickly responded, “ . . . . . ok, then YOU ask him.”

The Bathtub Test for Insanity

During a visit to the local mental institute, John asked the Director during a tour how to determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

“It’s simple actually,” said the Director. “We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a Teaspoon, a Teacup and a Bucket to the patient.

We ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”

“Ohhhh, I understand. “Obviously a normal person would choose the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”

“No. A normal person would pull the plug and let it drain. Do you want a bed near the window?”

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Lesson Learned in a Watermelon Patch Heavy, hearty, and heavenly - that’s how I remember Mr. Renzo Duren’s watermelons in the ‘40’s and ‘50’s. They had thin rinds and sweet meat. The fanciest French cuisine was three day old collards compared to these gourmet delicacies.

The Durens were our closest neighbors. Mr. Renzo, Mrs. Ora and their daughter, Verdine, lived on a farm at the corner of Big A road and Kings Highway. Mr. Duren plowed his fields with a crotchety horse named Bob. My neighborly duties each year included healping him save seeds from his best melons. Verdine would call, “daddy says he needs a boy to help him with a little job.” That meant he was going to cut one of those behemoths. He would get the melon out from under the bed in their spare bed room, whre it had been kept for a couple of days to cool off. Mrs. Ora would give me a pie pan to put my seeds in. They were black as crow’s heads.

The fragrance from the massive melons activated my saliva glands like artesian wells. Luscious nectar dripped off my chin and arms. The flavor is etched in the memory of my taste buds.

There’s never been a boy who helped his neighbor with more gusto than I. Mr. Renzo always complimented me on a job well done.

One full moon evening a fellow conspirator and I decided it would be fun to raid Mr. Ranzo’s watermelon patch - steal from the good man who would give me all the melons I wanted (that’s

NEPHEWS

by Chuck Burgess

by Neal Beard, a retired pastor living in Douglasville, Georgia. He writes history / humor about the rural northwest Georgia community where he grew up in the 40s and 50s.

brillant). Under the light of the big moon we each selected a large melon. We lugged them into the edge of the woods, cut them and began eating the warm, sweet flesh.

It was the best of melons, it was the worst of melons (forgive me Charles Dickens). It was a good melon - but not to me. Mrs. Fannie Spinks, my Sunday school teacher at Prays Mill Baptist church, had been teaching us the ten commandments. She lingered long on the eighth, “Thou shalt not steal.” That Biblical admonition was reverberating in my head. Every bite was a sermon to my soul. An eternity later, assaulted by a glut of guilt, I finished the melon of misery.

My burdensome boil of backsliding came to a head the next day. Mr. renzo and I had robbed a bee tree. After we got out of range of the irate bees we sat down on a log to rest and eat some of our bounty. I snaked my hand into my picket for my knife to cut a pice of honeycomb. Puzzled, I said, “my knife’s gone.” Mr. Renzo said, “I’ve got it,” and handed me my pearl handled Barlow. “I found it this morning in my watermelon patch.”

Horror hurtled through my heart, squeezed my throat and set my face afire. I was saturated with shame. I attempted to sputter an apology but he waved it off. He winked at me, patted me on the back with a sticky hand and said, “You have to be careful where you lose your knive.” He seemed to forget my indiscretion. I never have.

Read books about God and the world He created.

‘Bout Noah and the ark and how long he waited Cooped up with animals 2 by 2 Go to museums! Go to the zoo!

It’s time we had a little chat.

Not birds and bees and stuff like that, But cowboys and Indians and secret spies And turtles and spiders and lizards and flies.

Keep your eyes down and look all around For the tiniest treasures are easily found.

Pick up that feather and stick and stone; Pick up that penny and piece of a bone.

Your Dad can tell you about girls and curls, I want to talk about skates and snakes.

And stuff in your pocket like shells and rocks, You take out at night and put in a box.

Collect baseball cards, but first chew the gum.

Don’t collect things that bite, as a rule of thumb.

Think about what you want to be, Dress up in clothes and see what you see.

So here’s some directions for some collections.

And a few other words for just plain fun.

Read books about magic and learn a few tricks, Read books about jokes just for some kicks.

Pretend you’re a spy on a dangerous mission.

The back up you need you’re desperately wishing.

You know who to call, your Uncle, that’s who!

Call anytime -- on the phone in your shoe!

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers The Talking Frog Share on facebook Share on twitter Share on email Share on print More Sharing Services An 86 year-old man is out fishing. He was sitting in his boat when he heard a voice say, “Pick me up!”

He looked around and did not see any one. He thought he was dreaming until he heard the voice again.

“Pick me up.” The old man looked in the water and there, floating on a lilly pad was a frog.

What kind of cruel, demented person put an “s” in lisp?

The man said, “Are you talking to me?”

The frog replied, “Yes, I’m talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I’ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I’ll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride.”

The man looked at the frog for a minute in confusion, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front pocket.

The frog screamed, “What, are you nuts? Didn’t you hear what I said?? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride!”

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, “Nah, at my age I’d rather have a talking frog.”

Quips The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. *************** Why do people say “no offense” right before they’re about to offend you? *************** Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. *************** I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “Well, that’s not going to happen.”

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Uncle Billy Summers

“For several years, I have been able to glance across the street from where I live to the neighborhood grocery store which was operated by Uncle Billy Summers and his good wife.

The place was handy for those of us on Edward Gary Street to run hurriedly for a bottle of milk, a loaf of bread or any of those articles sold in a modern food store. The little place of business had about it a personality of good cheer, cordiality, friendship and neighborliness.

Of course, these qualities were the reflected attributes of the two fine people who ran the store. A few days ago, the place was sold, building, stock, and all. Rollers were placed beneath it, a large truck got in front of it, and off it was rolled to another location to continue as a small grocery store. I’m glad it will continue as a small grocery store, but when I look across from where I live, there is a strangely vacant piece of ground that is hard to get accustomed to.

Gone are the two front steps where Uncle Billy used to sit and talk to those who paused to visit. Absent is the presence of Mrs. Summers who was part and parcel of the place where good neighbors met. All is for the best; but I am told that when the little building started moving up the street, the face of Uncle Billy wore a sad and serious expression which is understandable. He was raised up in a grocery store in ol’ Alabama; and, when the small place of business was being taken away the other day, an important part of his life was leaving with it.” (L.A. Cooper)

Little stores like that of Uncle Billy were not uncommon in and around San Marcos. They served all of us who had no desire, transportation, or inclination to travel across town to shop for our cravings. When we needed a store, we needed it quickly.

Stores like Uncle Billy’s had everything in stock which we desired. I am talking about myself, Jimmy, Tommy, Mike, Billy Joe, and other members of our young gang. Between chinaberry fights, rubber gun wars, construction and destruction of mud airplanes, naval battles between corrugated iron canoes on the great San Marcos River, there would come time for refreshment break—usually several times during those carefree, barefoot, summer days.

Even in the darkest time of the Great Depression, the gang’s mothers could always spare a nickel or two for those refreshment breaks we cherished. Somehow Mothers knew of the urgently important information that was exchanged at those meetings… and how sweets sparked the spirit of such discussions.

For five cents (one twentieth of a dollar) the offerings were awesome. I am talking about: a Barnett’s Flakecrust pecan pie; an Orange Crush in a brown-ribbed bottle; an off-color peanut pattie (six inches in diameter); an Almond Hershey or Mars Bar or a Three Musketeers; a Dixie Cup ice cream treat (which had,

54

on its inside cover, a photograph of Tom Mix, Gene Autrey, Bob Steele, Hopalong Cassidy or any of several other famous movie screen cowboys). Or, a popsicle bar suggesting that you get another at no cost if the word “free” should appear on the stick, once the frozen sugar ice had been licked away.

Little stores like that of Uncle Billy were not uncommon in and around San Marcos.

Uncle Billy’s store attracted us more often than others in town, because it was in our territory. Also, because it was within a stone’s throw of our houses in case anyone ran short of nickels.

Plus, we could “charge it,” under stress of dire necessity.

I am well aware that some stores like this one still exist in neighborhoods across America. But, the peanut patties are no longer six inches in diameter—and most of them cost more than a nickel. And, unfortunately, fine old gentlemen, like Uncle Billy Summers, are few and far between to be found in charge of such establishments. Most of the clerks in stores today will say (after you pay), “have a nice day.” But somehow, I don’t sense the “good cheer” Summers exuded when he put his arm around, squeezed your shoulder and smiled into your face. He could say “have a nice day” with his twinkling eyes without so much as a word being spoken, and he meant it. And we knew it.

The day that big truck rolled Uncle Billy’s store away, no wonder he wore a sad and serious expression. He knew that his daily visits with our gang were over.

Edwin H. Cooper, a writer of human interest stories and articles,

has been published in many Texas magazines and newspapers, and is active in numerous civic and school organizations. A new book of his is coming out soon: 40 Years at Aggieland.

Why Seniors Still Need Newspapers

I was visiting my granddaughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

“This is the 21st century,” she said. “I don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad.” I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him.

What is Asset Allocation?

by Kavon Novak

Kavon Novak is a rate of inflation, effectively reducing the purchasing power of registered Invesment that investment over time. Bonds are subject to market and inConsultant and Brancterest rate risk if sold prior to maturity. Bond values will decline Manager with LPL as interest rates rise and are subject to availability and change in Financial. He holds price.

Series 7, 24 and 63 li ■ Cash investments: Among the most stable of all asset censes. Kavon has over classes in terms of returns, money market instruments generally 15 years of experience carry very low market risk. At the same time, they don’t typically in the financial indushave the potential to outpace inflation by as wide a margin as try and is a member of stocks or bonds. the Financial Services Institute and the Burleson County Chamber of Commerce. He is a multi-year “Outstanding Client Service” award recipient and a Fightin’ Your precise asset alloction needs may change throughout Texas Aggie ’91. life, but your need for an appropriate asset allocation never goes For more information please visit www.lpl.com/kavon.novak. away.

1 Asset allocation does not assure a profit or protect against a loss It’s important to understand the different asset classes and the in a declining market. role they may be able to play in your financial strategies. Many financial experts believe that asset allocation may be the single © 2011 Mcgraw-Hill Financial Communications. All rights reserved. most important factor influencing long-term investment returns, regardless of short-term market fluctuations.1 You could potentially lower your investment risk and increase your chances of meeting your investment goals by maintaining an asset allocation that includes several dirrenent types of assets.

What Is Asset Allocation?

Asset allocation refers to the mix of different types of investments, such as stocks, bonds, and cash. Because each type of asset has unique risk and return characteristics, the asset allocation an investor chooses is typically determined by that investor’s financial goals, time frame, and personal tolerance for investment risk.

Here’s a closer look at the risk and reward characteristics of the major asset classes.

■ Stocks: Over the short term, stock investments typically carry a relatively high level of market risk, or the risk that an investment’s value will decrease. However, stocks have historically earned higher average annual returns than other asset classes over longer time periods. Although past performance is no guarantee of future results, stocks may have the potential to generate long-term returns that outpace inflation at the highest rate through the years.

■Bonds: In general, bond investments may be less likely to experience severe short-term price swings than stocks, and therefore may offer lower market risk. On the other hand, bonds’ over all inflation risk may be higher than that of stocks, because bonds’ long-term return potential may be lower. Inflation risk is the risk that an investment’s rate of return will not exceed the

55

Carl was a quiet man...

He didn’t talk much. He would always greet you with a big smile and a firm handshake. Even after living in our neighborhood for over 50 years, No one could really say they knew him very well.

Before his retirement, he took the bus to work each morning. The lone sight of him walking down the street often worried us. He had a slight limp from a bullet wound received in WWII. Watching him, we worried that although he had survived WWII, he may not make it through our changing uptown neighborhood with its ever-increasing random violence, gangs, and drug activity.

When he saw the flyer at our local church asking for volunteers for caring for the gardens behind the minister’s residence, he responded in his characteristically unassuming manner.

Without fanfare, he just signed up.

He was well into his 87th year when the very thing we had always feared finally happened..

He was just finishing his watering for the day when three gang members approached him. Ignoring their attempt to intimidate him, he simply asked, “Would you like a drink from the hose?”

The tallest and toughest-looking of the three said, “Yeah, sure,” with a malevolent little smile.

As Carl offered the hose to him, the other two grabbed Carl’s arm, throwing him down. As the hose snaked crazily over the ground, dousing everything in its way, Carl’s assailants stole his retirement watch and his wallet, and then fled.

Carl tried to get himself up, but he had been thrown down on his bad leg. He lay there trying to gather himself as the minister came running to help him.

Although the minister had witnessed the attack from his window, he couldn’t get there fast enough to stop it.

“Carl, are you okay? Are you hurt?” the minister kept asking as he helped Carl to his feet.

Carl just passed a hand over his brow and sighed, shaking his head. “Just some punk kids. I hope they’ll wise-up someday.”

His wet clothes clung to his slight frame as he bent to pick up the hose. He adjusted the nozzle again and started to water..

Confused and a little concerned, the minister asked, “Carl, what are you doing?” “I’ve got to finish my watering. It’s been very dry lately,” came the calm reply. Satisfying himself that Carl really was all right, the minister could only marvel. Carl was a man from a different time and place.

A few weeks later the three returned.. Just as before their threat was unchallenged. Carl again offered them a drink from his hose.

This time they didn’t rob him. They wrenched the hose from his hand and drenched him head to foot in the icy water.

56

When they had finished their humiliation of him, they sauntered off down the street, throwing catcalls and curses, falling over one another laughing at the hilarity of what they had just done.

Carl just watched them. Then he turned toward the warmth giving sun, picked up his hose, and went on with his watering.

The summer was quickly fading into fall Carl was doing some tilling when he was startled by the sudden approach of someone behind him. He stumbled and fell into some evergreen branches.

As he struggled to regain his footing, he turned to see the tall leader of his summer tormentors reaching down for him. He braced himself for the expected attack.

“Don’t worry old man, I’m not gonna hurt you this time.” The young man spoke softly, still offering the tattooed and scarred hand to Carl. As he helped Carl get up, the man pulled a crumpled bag from his pocket and handed it to Carl.

“What’s this?” Carl asked. “It’s your stuff,” the man explained.

“It’s your stuff back. Even the money in your wallet” “I don’t understand,” Carl said. “Why would you help me now?”

The man shifted his feet, seeming embarrassed and ill at ease. “I learned something from you,” he said. “I ran with that gang and hurt people like you we picked you because you were old and we knew we could do it But every time we came and did something to you, instead of yelling and fighting back, you tried to give us a drink. You didn’t hate us for hating you. You kept showing love against our hate.”

He stopped for a moment. “I couldn’t sleep after we stole your stuff, so here it is back.”

He paused for another awkward moment, not knowing what more there was to say. “That bag’s my way of saying thanks for straightening me out, I guess.” And with that, he walked off down the street.

Carl looked down at the sack in his hands and gingerly opened it. He took out his retirement watch and put it back on his wrist. Opening his wallet, he checked for his wedding photo.

He gazed for a moment at the young bride that still smiled back at him from all those years ago..

He died one cold day after Christmas that winter. Many people attended his funeral in spite of the weather.

In particular the minister noticed a tall young man that he didn’t know sitting quietly in a distant corner of the church.

The minister spoke of Carl’s garden as a lesson in life. `In a voice made thick with unshed tears, he said, “Do your best and make your garden as beautiful as you can. We will never forget Carl and his garden.”

The following spring another flyer went up. It read: “Person needed to care for Carl’s garden.” `The flyer went unnoticed by the busy parishioners until one day when a knockwas heard at the minister’s office door.

Carl... when a knock was heard at the minister’s office door.

Opening the door, the minister saw a pair of scarred and tattooed hands holding the flyer. “I believe this is my job, if you’ll have me,” the young man said.

The minister recognized him as the same young man who had returned the stolen watch and wallet to Carl.

He knew that Carl’s kindness had turned this man’s life around. As the minister handed him the keys to the garden shed, he said, “Yes, go take care of Carl’s garden and honor him.”

The man went to work and, over the next several years, he tended the flowers and vegetables just as Carl had done.

During that time, he went to college, got married, and became a prominent member of the community. But he never forgot his promise to Carl’s memory and kept the garden as beautiful as he thought Carl would have kept it.

One day he approached the new minister and told him that he couldn’t care for the garden any longer. He explained with a shy and happy smile, “My wife just had a baby boy last night, and she’s bringing him home on Saturday.”

“Well, congratulations!” said the minister, as he was handed the garden shed keys. “That’s wonderful! What’s the baby’s name?”

“Carl,” he replied.

“Life Is Short. Live It To The Fullest. It Has An Expiration Date”

The Slowpoke...?

Sitting on the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car puttering along at 22 M.P.H. He thinks to himself, that car is just as dangerous as a speeder. So, he turns his lights on and pulls the car over.

Approaching the car, he notices there are 5 old ladies, two at the front and 3 at the back, wide eyed and looking like ghosts.

The driver obviously confused said, "Officer, I don't understand, I wasn't going over the speed limit!, What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer said, "you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous".

"Slower than the speed limit? NO SIR! I was doing exactly 22 miles an hour", the old woman said proudly.

The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season. Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer. No one raised a hand. Puzzled, the pastor said, "I dont get it. Last Sunday many of you said you were were unable to make service because of hunting season. I had the whole congregation pray for your deer."One hunter groaned, "Well, it worked. They’re all safe."

The officer containing a chuckle explains that 22 was the route number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned, thanking the officer for pointing out her error.

"Before I go Ma'am, I have to ask, is everyone OK? These women seem badly shaken and haven't uttered a word all this time" "Oh! they will be alright in a minute, Officer, we just got off Route 142."

The Gift...

The Egg...

Joy

by Polly Williams I was clutching $375 tightly in my hand as I was leaning against the darkened hall, praying, “Lord, please let me talk with Jessie before we have to leave. The orphanage needs this money and I don’t know how to get it to them.”

As soon as I prayed, around the corner came Jessie James, our guide for the International School Project. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I shouted,” Jessie, I just prayed you’d show up. I have collected money from our team to give to the orphanage.

Can you help us?”

Jessie stopped short, looked at me and replied, “This is not in our agenda. The plane leaves for Severondivinsk in one-half hour. There is no time. I am sorry.”

He hurried on down the hall to the staff room. I was stunned. I thought Now what? What do I do with the money? I can’t give it back. I can’t keep it. The money had been donated in a short time.

While at the orphanage, I had prayed for directions on how to help the orphanage we had visited. The thought to give money to them to buy coal for the winter had come to my mind.

I had joined 35 Americans a week earlier, volunteering to present the Jesus movie to Russian school teachers. We’d accomplished that, having presented the movie to 500 teachers in Kalingingrad, west of Moscow .

Now, here I was standing in a hall in a sanitarium, located in a village by the Baltic Sea . Our group needed to fly north of Moscow , toward the arctic circle to yet another convocation of school teachers. Time was short. Blizzard conditions 200 miles north made immediate department critical.

But, my heart was still on the orphans and providing them the money for coal. I knew then not to hope to make a quick stop at the orphanage. I was disheartened.

As we boarded the buses to take us to the airport, I sat in turmoil. Suddenly, without warning, Jessie jumped on board, took my arm and said, “Hurry.” I followed him into a waiting

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car that I soon realized was the van of the interrupters. We drove rapidly through the village and came to a halt at the orphanage.

“You have two minutes,” demanded Jessie as he all but pushed me out the door. A small woman wearing a scarf over her hair greeted me in broken English. She said she would take the money.

I found myself holding tightly to the money. The woman noticed and quickly grabbed my elbow and pushed me past the huge heavy door of the orphanage. The head master in a dark, dull suit greeted me. “I am pleased to make use of your money for coal for the children. You can trust me, ” he replied.

I gave him the money and turned to go. He took my arm and led me into his office. He then opened a desk drawer and drew out a richly decorated wooden egg. He said, “This is valuable; you must have it for what you have done for the children.” I knew that out of respect I must accept the gift.

Time was fleeting; I was sure my two minutes were up. I took the egg, put it in my purse, bowed to him and said in Russian, “Spaceba,” and quickly returned to the van.

As we sped to the airport, I glanced at the van full of interrupters and at Jessie James. I couldn’t contain my joy. I was so happy the money had gotten to the orphanage. I think I detected a hint of a smile from our Jessie James, who actually is related to the real Jessie James of the American frontier. However, Instead of taking money, he was in Russia helping give money.

Submitted by Polly Williams, who was a short-term missionary to Russia , primarily to 4 convocations of Russian School teachers in 1995-1996.

Polly Williams, a doctor’s daughter, pastor’s wife, mother of 3 sons, farmer’s wife and widow, completed her RN degree at the age of 40. Her desire now is to submit inspirational stories of her life.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Flat Tire Final Exam Share on facebook Share on twitter Share on email Share on print More Sharing Services There were four University sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an A so far. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to school until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They said that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day. The guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam.

The next day the Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them each the 100 point exam. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one in separate rooms, thought this was going to be easy. Then they turned the page. On the second page was written...

For 95 points: Which tire? ____

Two Lawyers Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a pair of tracks. They stopped and examined the tracks closely. The first lawyer announced, "Those are deer tracks. It's deer season, so we should follow the tracks and find our prey." The second lawyer responded,"Those are clearly elk tracks, and elk are out of season. If we follow your advice, we'll waste the day." Each attorney believed himself to be the superior woodsman, and they both bitterly stuck to their guns. They were still arguing when the train hit them.

THE CHANCE TO MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE IS JUST IN SIGHT Most people know February as American Heart Month. But it is also Age-related Macular Degeneration (AMD)/Low Vision Awareness Month. In the U.S., there are 2.4 million people over the age of 40 living with visual impairment. In The American Journal of Occupational Therapy1, Sue Berger provides some helpful insight into the world of someone with low vision and how occupational therapy interventions can make a big difference in quality of life.

According to Berger, • Similar to weakness or paralysis, a decrease in vision can significantly influence one’s ability to engage in desired occupations.

• Occupational therapy practitioners can educate those with low vision on strate gies for using remaining vision, improving lighting, using talking books, and changing optical devices.

• In 1991, what is now the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS), expanded its definition of physical impairment to include visual impairment.

• In 2002, CMS delineated a national low vision rehabilitation coverage policy for licensed healthcare providers, including occupational therapy.

• Through legislative and CMS changes, occupational therapy practitioners have increasingly connected to older adults with vision loss.

From the article, Berger concludes, “Occupational therapy practitioners are key players in enabling older adults to live longer, healthier, and more productive lives. Decreased vision can significantly influence one’s ability to remain active and productive. Occupational therapists’ expertise in understanding both the importance of participation in occupations throughout the life course and the changes in body functions, body structures, and performance skills associated with aging makes them skilled at supporting the occupational performance of older adults with low vision. Occupational therapy practitioners know that although nothing more may be able to be done to restore vision, much can be done to improve quality of life and participation in desired occupations.”

Refer your patients with Low Vision to Guardian Healthcare to ensure they continue to successfully live independently. An RN will assess your low vision patient’s homebound status, ability to manage medications and daily functions We will provide education on disease process and coordinate an occupational therapist to work in the home to establish specific modifications and success strategies. (PUT CONNECTION HERE THAT TIES OCC THERAPY TO GUARDIAN AND HOW WE CAN WORK TOGETHER – ADD WHATEVER MEDICAID/MEDICARE LANGUAGE NECESSARY; IN-PATIENT/OUT-PATIENT, ETC.) 1Berger, S. American Journal of Occupational Therapy. (2013) Effectiveness of Occupational Therapy Interventions for Older Adults Living With Low Vision, 67; 3: 263-265. (http:// ajot.aotapress.net/content/67/3/263.full)

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Fight Infections Naturally

Suzy Cohen, RPh www.DearPharmacist.com People call me “America’s Most Trusted Pharmacist®” because I’ve been a licensed pharmacist for over 22 years and I am able to share the pros and cons of medication use as well as offer natural substitutions for most any of your health concerns. While I pride myself in ‘thinking outside the pill’ let me just say that I am still very proud to wear my white coat because I realize that there is a time and place for medications. We need to consider all of our options, and often, a combination is best.

I’ve spent the the last 13 years writing a syndicated column called “Dear Pharmacist” which focus on health and explores the use of natural supplements, as well as the safe use of medications if you are taking them.

This has been printed in many newspapers nationwide.

Dear Pharmacist, I’ve been filling in for my brother at work these last two weeks, but it’s not the most enjoyable task for me. He’s fighting off a skin infection and has been to several doctors. He’s getting better, but not fast enough for me! Any suggestions? CC Lawrenceburg, Tennessee ANSWER: Human skin is always teeming with bacteria, fungi and other germs, but these ‘bugs’ need a suitable host to cause in-

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fection. They like people with weak immune systems—the result of too much stress, fast food and work. People with the strongest immune systems tend to consume lots of “rabbit food.” Consider the following natural immune boosters: 1. Spirulina: This superfood comes from blue-green algae and is an incredible source of protein, vitamins, minerals and the powerful detoxifier, chlorophyll. Spirulina is best known for its immune-boosting properties and it can be used for cancer. Take daily, especially if you eat meat.

2. Garlic: Add one clove of lightly sautéd garlic to foods each day. Finding high quality supplements is iffy. I like Kyolic’s Aged Garlic because the garlic is free of pesticides; it’s odorless and contains added antioxidants. Clinical trials often use Kyolic brand.

3. Tea Tree Oil: Dab it on the skin—do not take internally! Tea tree is native to Australia. Make sure you buy 100 percent pure oil, rather than a dilution.

4. Zinc: The mineral revs up the immune system, preventing infections. Zinc can latch on to the cold-causing rhinovirus and destroy it before the infection becomes full blown. Take it at the first sniffle to shorten your cold misery by 3 or 4 days. A good maintenance dose is 10 -15mg daily.

5. Olive Leaf Extract: This is a powerful anti-EVERYTHING, relieving vaginal yeast infections, herpes, PMS, psoriasis, headaches, chronic fatigue, diabetes and hypertension. It curbs the production of ‘reverse transcriptase and protease,’ making olive leaf a must for people with AIDS/HIV. Take about 500mg three times daily (standardized).

6. Probiotics & Enzymes: These supplements minimize infections and cure other nagging GI problems. Conventional antibiotics are drug muggers for intestinal flora, making probiotics absolutely essential for anyone taking them.

7. Vitamin D: Sun yourself for 15 minutes each day—it’s free!

Studies prove that your skin cells need D to prevent infection, reduce inflammation and improve auto-immune conditions.

8. Oregano: Use fresh herb or supplement; it bolsters your immune system, driving out bacteria, fungus and parasites and it also reduces blood sugar.

9. Green Tea: Drink one cup at night, any flavor.

10. Larch Arabinogalactan: Incredibly powerful, even used for cancer. It activates your ‘killer’ cells, which defend you from chronic chest, sinus or ear infections.

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How To Bathe A Cat...

As anyone who has attempted this feat can tell you, bathing a cat is no laughing matter. In fact, it can be downright painful, and humiliating too.

But don’t despair. Bathing a cat is simple, really. No, just kidding. But it can be done. You can succeed. The key is to be properly prepared, mentally and physically.

Remember, although your cat has advantages in intelligence, speed, and total lack of concern for you, you will have advantages in size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.

Follow these instructions for bathing your cat.

1. First, dress for the occasion. A four-ply rubber wet suit is recommended, along with a helmet, face mask and welders gloves.

2. A bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred a shower curtain in about 3.5 seconds.

3. Place the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed bathtub area before you begin. No need for the blow dryer. As tempting as it might be, blow drying the cat after a bath is most definitely not recommended.

4. Fill the tub with water.

Make it a little warmer than necessary because you still have to find the cat. Position everything strategically in the shower, so that you can reach it even if you are prone or face down in the tub.

5. Find your cat. Use the element of surprise. Pick the cat up nonchalantly, as if you were simply carrying him to the supper dish. No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire, because the cat barely notices you anyway.

6. Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom, speed is of the essence. In a single fluid motion, shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the glass doors, and drop the cat into the water. While the cat is still in a state of shock, grasp the Kitty Bubbles and squirt whatever part of the cat is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your life.

Remember that cats have no handles; add to that the fact that the cat now has soapy fur. His state of shock has worn off and he’s madder than a wet hornet. Looks a little like one, too.

7. As best you can while wearing welder’s gloves, try to grab

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hold of the cat as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling.

If possible, give another squirt of Kitty Bubbles while his body is fully exposed in midair.

8. During the five seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub the cat vigorously. There is no need to worry about rinsing, because the cat will invariably slide down the glass enclosure into the tub, fall back into the water, thrash about wildly, and rinse himself in the process.

9. Only attempt the lather and rinse process about three times. By that point, the cat will have realized the lack of traction on the glass and on the next attempt will climb the most readily available part of you.

10. Next, the cat must be dried.

No, this is not the easiest part.

By this stage, you will be worn out and the cat will have just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. We suggest here that you drain the tub and - in full view of your cat - reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.

11. If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will have left your leg and will be hanging precariously from your helmet.

Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be in a much better position for you to wrap the towel around him.

12. Be sure the cat is firmly wrapped in the towel before opening the tub enclosure.

Quickly step out, open bathroom door, put the towelwrapped cat on the floor, step back quickly into the tub enclosure and close the glass door.

13. Do not open the glass door until all you can see is the shredded towel. Remain in the shower while administering first aid to any part of your body which accidentally became uncovered during the bathing process.

14. In about two hours it should be safe to exit the bathroom.

Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small damp hedgehog while plotting revenge.

Congratulations! You have just bathed your cat. Once you have recovered, begin planning your strategy for getting him into the shower next time, since the nonchalant pick-up will only work once.

In fact, since your cat will be determined never to let you trick him like that again, you might want to be careful around him for a while. Even if you have no ulterior motives whatsoever your cat, who no longer trusts you, may for any reason or no reason, completely freak out on you at any time within the next week or two.

JUST TO NOTE: It's a common misconception that everything is twice as big in Texas, really, everything is 1.965 times bigger, but we round up.

Walking down a path through some woods in Georgia in 1977, 1 saw a water puddle ahead on the path. I angled my direction to go around it on the part of the path that wasn’t covered by water and mud. As I reached the puddle, I was suddenly attacked!

Yet I did nothing for the attack was so unpredictable and from a source so totally unexpected. I was startled as well as unhurt, despite having been struck four or five times already. I backed up a foot and my attacker stopped attacking me. Instead of attacking more, he hovered in the air on graceful butterfly wings in front of me. Had I been hurt I wouldn’t have found it amusing, but I was unhurt, it was funny, and I was laughing. After all, I was being attacked by a butterfly!

Having stopped laughing, I took a step forward. My attacker rushed me again. He rammed me in the chest with his head and body, striking me over and over again with all his might, still to no avail. For a second time, I retreated a step while my attacker relented in his attack.

Yet again, I tried moving forward. My attacker charged me again. I was rammed in the chest over and over again. I wasn’t sure what to do, other than to retreat a third time, after all, it’s just not everyday that one

is attacked by a butterfly. This time, though, I stepped back several paces to look

the situation over. My attacker moved back as well to land on the ground. That’s

when I discovered why my attacker was charging me only moments earlier.

He had a mate and she was dying. She was beside the puddle where he landed. Sitting close beside her, he opened and closed his wings as if to fan her. I could only admire the love and courage of that butterfly in his concern for his mate. He had taken it upon himself to attack me for his mate’s sake, even though she was clearly dying and I was so large. He did so just to give her those extra few precious moments of life, should I have been careless enough to step on her.

Now I knew why and what he was fighting for. There was really only one option left for me. I carefully made my way around the puddle to the other side of the path, though it was only inches wide and extremely muddy. His courage in attacking something thousands of times larger and heavier than himself just for his mate’s safety justified it. I couldn’t do anything other than reward him by walking on the more difficult side of the puddle. He had truly earned those moments to be with her, undisturbed. I left them in peace for those last few moments, cleaning the mud from my boots when I later reached my car.

Since then, I’ve always tried to remember the courage of that butterfly whenever I see huge obstacles facing me. I use that butterfly’s courage as an inspiration and to remind myself that good things are worth fighting for.

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