ADD TOPPINGS TO YOUR
VANILLA SEX
9
WAYS TO ENJOY SUMMER LIKE A TEENAGER
POLL:
How far would you go on a first date?
CHALLENGE
YOUR INNER BADASS
TheIndieChicks.com TheIndieChicks.com
Samii Ryan
GET READY! This edgy entrepreneur will inspire you
FIRE UP that engine! Plan the PERFECT road trip
HAVE A SUMMER FLING (WITH YOUR MAN!)
15
Minute Flirt
(Try it!)
SUMMER 2014
Be Fearless. Live each day happily and courageously.
photo by Jill Franz
in this [issue] +on the cover Cover photo by Anthony Marcano
9 WAYS TO ENJOY SUMMER LIKE A TEENAGER 12 ADD SOME TOPPINGS TO THAT VANILLA SEX 109 HAVE A SUMMER FLING (WITH YOUR MAN) 96 THE 15 MINUTE FLIRT 90 PLAN THE ULTIMATE ROAD TRIP 128
+in every issue MEET THE STAFF 5 OUR LAST ISSUE 8 FROM THE EDITOR 9 POPULAR ON THE SITE 10 POLL: HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO ON THE FIRST DATE? 82 QUIZ: WHAT’S YOUR DATING STYLE? 85 INDIE CONFESSIONS 134
CHALLENGE YOUR INNER BADASS 31
>attitude
RECONNECTING WITH GIRLFRIENDS 17 SHUT NEGATIVE NANCY UP! 22
{
AN INTROVERT’S GUIDE TO COMING OUT OF YOUR SHELL 18
DEALING WITH JEALOUSY 24 HOW TO FORGIVE YOURSELF 26 HOW TO ENJOY A WEDDING YOU DON’T SUPPORT 29
¬
MEET OUR COVER GIRL SAMII RYAN 46
10 COMMANDMENTS OF GIRL CODE 34
46
BE NOTHING LESS THAN PERFECT 36
DECLARE YOUR INDEPENDENCE THIS SUMMER 42
DON’T INVITE BRIDEZILLA TO YOUR WEDDING 41
BE MAGNETIC 45
36 be perfect
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
[1]
in this [issue] >love&sex FALL IN LOVE ABROAD (AND THEN FALL OUT) 78 TREAT YOURSELF TO THESE 9 SOLO DATES 80 ROMANTIC COMEDY OR ROMANTIC CON-JOB? 83 SUMMER: THE BEST SEASON TO BE SINGLE
>beauty&style BEST BEAUTY PRODUCTS
51
SUMMER STYLES WE LOVE
10 BADASS WAYS TO KEEP THE LOVE ALIVE
92 VACATIONING WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER’S FAMILY
53
99
BEAUTY TRENDS 54 HOT HAIR STYLES
86
STOP LISTENING TO BAD DATING ADVICE
56
102
WORKOUT GEAR 58
>health&fitness THE BEST ALTERNATIVE WORKOUT 61 SHINE WITH THE SUN 64 FINDING YOUR ZEN 67 GUILTLESS SWEET TREATS 69 TRIM THE FAT FROM YOUR MIND AND THE POUNDS WILL FOLLOW 70 15 WAYS TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF 73 JUICING DELIVERY [2] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM SERVICES 77
THE DUMP GUIDE 105 ADD TOPPINGS TO THAT VANILLA SEX 109 5 TIPS FOR BEING MORE DOMINANT IN THE BEDROOM 112
>business chick SELF-EDUCATION IS NATURAL
114 9 KEYS TO BEING A GREAT BOSS
118 THE WORLD DOES NOT NEED MORE DREAMERS 120
>lifestyle SUMMER CONCERTS 131 5 INDIE CHICK ARTISTS YOU NEED TO KNOW 132
122 PLAN THE PERFECT SUMMER PARTY
[
EXCERPT: HOW TO REPRIMAND YOUR ROCKSTAR 125
[
HOT SUMMER READS 124
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
[3]
CEO, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Chiara Mazzucco PRESIDENT, COO Chrystal Rose VICE PRESIDENT, SENIOR EDITOR Julie Zantopoulos ASSOCIATE EDITOR Michelle Oeltjen SPRING ROCKSTAR INTERNS Dana Petersen, Tara Burke CONTRIBUTORS Hell on Heels Girl, Cortney Dryden, Janny Molina, Gl’amour Blowout Bar & More, Eliza Shirazi, Ashley Sapp, Kamila Gornia, Ellen Ross, Rebecca Cord, Renee Claybion, Kiri Blakeley, Almie Rose, Dani Walker, Mina Vaughn, Leah McKendrick DESIGN Chiara Mazzucco MARKETING AND ADVERTISING Chrystal Rose THANK YOU Janny Molina, Kristin Credle, Gl'amour Blowout Bar & More, Rob Storey, Jodi Hanes, Christine Oliver, Jordan Stepp, John Josey PRINTED BY Shweiki Media
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[4] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
(ISSN 2332-5216) Indie Chick is published by The Indie Chicks, Inc. Copyright 2014 All Rights Reserved. Reproduction in any form without written consent from the publisher is strictly prohibited. Annual subscriptions available on ShopIndieChicks.com. Please send all inquiries or change of addresses to general@theindiechicks.com
Meet the [Staff] Chiara Mazzucco
Chiara got her start in the blogosphere by dishing out reality slaps on her dating and relationship blog. The brutal honesty that became her signature tone earned her the badass reputation she needed to get The Indie Chicks magazine up and running. She is also a web designer and author of The 9 Mirages of Love: How to Stop Chasing What Doesn’t Exist. Driven, stubborn, and wildly ambitious, she won’t stop until she is the perfect, self-empowered role model for all of her readers. She dreams in shades of gray, has a terrible sweet tooth, and has embraced the fact that half of what she says during social interactions results in awkward silence. Her friends know her best for her intolerable addiction to all things 90’s, hair metal, chocolate and for her most public addiction of all: coffee. She extremely accessible, give her a shot.
Chrystal is a serial entrepreneur and the author of the humorous memoir Unfaithfully Yours: Confessions of a Cheating Bitch. When she isn’t passionately brows deep in her work, she loves to travel, cook delicious food, create art, read and work on her novel. (She’s also slightly addicted to several HBO & Showtime series.) Her amazing and healthy relationship with her boyfriend, Jeff, inspires the sage advice she dishes and her dedication to bettering herself through health & fitness, making her the ultimate workout buddy and motivator. She literally never stops, hardly ever sleeps and has zero problems telling it like it is. Chrystal believes with every cell in her body that you can create the life you want to live and true happiness for yourself. She’s dedicated to helping women and is extremely honored to serve as a mentor/advisor to young Indie Chicks trying to find their way.
+ChiaraMazzucco ChiaraMazzucco ChiaraSays
XtalRose13 @xtal_rose +ChrystalRose ChrystalRose xtalrose
chrystal@theindiechicks.com xtalrose.com
[President, COO]
Julie Zantopoulos
@iChiaraSays
chiara@theindiechicks.com chiaramazzucco.com
[CEO, Editor-in-Chief]
Chrystal Rose
Mazzucco.Chiara
Julie is your classic Type A, detail oriented, list-making perfectionist who just happens to also be messy, forgetful, and whimsical. She finished college with a degree in Psychology but has always been a writer. She found a home in blogging and fell in love with sharing her writing and honing in on her skills for the novel she’s been working on. When not writing or working with over 100 guest contributors to perfect our content on The Indie Chicks, Julie loves to watch bad SyFy movies, listen to music, or do something crafty. She’s a proud aunt and godmother, so spending time with kids and her huge extended family, or friends, is something she will always make time for. Her journey to where she is today hasn’t always been easy but most of the strife, guilt, and fear she’s experienced was self-inflicted. It’s amazing how much lighter you feel when you realize that you aren’t a bad person for following your passions.
Tara Burke
[Intern]
[Intern]
When she isn't working as an Indie Chicks Intern, Dana is studying for her BA in Psychology while double minoring in English and Biblical Studies. In her down time she takes random trips to LA and to her, traffic means dancing in her car.
Our [Team]
@According2Jewls +JulieZantopoulos JulieZantopoulos According2Jewls
jewels@theindiechicks.com accordingtojewels.com
[Vice President, Senior Editor]
Dana Petersen
Julie.Zantopoulos
Tara loves seeing crazy marketing ideas become business realities and can’t wait to see how far the IC brand goes! In her spare time, she tries to stifle her wanderlust by traveling and experiencing new things as much as possible. She is currently a Senior at Marist College in Poughkeepsie, NY.
*Interested in our internship program? Go to TheIndieChicks.com/intern!
Michelle Oeltjen [Associate Editor]
She hails from Nebraska where she obtained a bachelor’s in Psychology with a dual English / Spanish minor as well as a Master’s in Business. “MO,” as she is known to most of her friends, worked in corporate America for nine years and decided in May 2010 to quit her day job to pursue her passion of writing. Michelle is the published author of her memoir, Love, Lies & Lessons Learned, based on a personal tragedy that occurred on her 28th birthday when she was attacked and THEINDIECHICKS.COM INDIE CHICK nearly killed |by an ex-boyfriend.
[5]
blog[love] The Five Facets thefivefacets.com
GirlWithTheCane girlwiththecane.com
When life gets tough, the tough get talking. A blog and a 5-Step plan to help you live your best badass life, even in the face of really bad shit.
Disabled, too stubborn for my own good, and too opinionated to stay quiet.
TheFiveFacets
GirlWithTheCane
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An artist that enchants the world with her words and illustrations.
VyvaciousEats
[Gold Sponsors] my cyber house rules mycyberhouserules.com @cyberhouserules Marie Nicole is a quirky writer - ex race car mechanic who now plays roller derby and lives & travels on a boat with her best friend Leo. She has been writing about her vida loca since 2010 on my cyber house rules. Pumps And Penalties, pumpsandpenalties.com @pumpsnpenalties PNP is a site designed to show that women can (and will) accurately discuss sports and sports-related topics without having to comment about how cute a player or coach may be. Like a Bird likeabirdblog.com likeabirdstudios Like a Bird is the personal blog of Kendra Kantor, Wellness Mentor and Guide. She blogs about her self-discovery and mental health wellness, sharing struggles and triumphs through depression, anxiety, mamahood and more.
TJLubrano
Author of contemporary fiction novels, The Waiting Room, Missing Girl, and 60 Days (available Sept. 2014). PiperPunches
*Want to expose your blog to new readers, while simultaneously supporting our magazine? Go to ShopIndieChicks. com to check out our packages for the next issue! For questions, email general@theindiechicks.com A Tale of Two Biddies ATaleofTwoBiddies.com @twobiddies A Tale of Two Biddies is a lifestyle publication and brand started by two young women on a quest for creative freedom and independence. Boston & the Single Girl bostonsinglegirl.com @bostnsinglegirl The good, bad and ugly of single life in Boston...reality is far better than fiction! PostGradolescence postgradolescence.com @wine_peace_love This PostGrad Coach works with aspiring online entrepreneurs, helping them get connections, credibility & clients. Tempted to have your online cherry popped? Jersey Girl, Texan Heart jerseygirltexanheart.com @moniczkafashion My blog is a little bit of everything but predominantly fashion and DIY projects.
The Kiss of Joy thekissofjoy.com @thekissofjoy The Kiss of Joy is a lifestyle blog. It features everything in life I love the most, from Music to TV Talks, Fashion Inspirations, Themed Blog Series and my favorite inspirational tidbits. Eeep! I’m a Blogger eeepimablogger.co.uk @suzym_marie Eeep I’m a Blogger is the place where Suzy Marie sounds off about things she is passionate about, entertains her readers, and writes about her life, all through a feminist lens. The Closet Traveler closettraveler.com @dawnsmiller The Closet Traveler is for the traveler in all of us along with a little touch of mystery. Courage Love Intensity courageloveintensity.com CourageLoveIntensity One girl’s quest to choose adventure over anxiety, fun over fear, uncertainty over utter boredom.
▶▶ Livin’ and Lovin’ Blog, livinandlovin.com ▶▶ Last Call, lastcallblog.com ▶▶ Priscilla and her Books, pressedupinabook.com CHICKto| THEINDIECHICKS.COM ▶▶ MyINDIE Attempts Charm the Willful Pen, michellestodden.wordpress.com
[6]
Piper Punches piperpunches.com
The Whimsy Art of TJ Lubrano tjlubrano.com
A fun, food-filled blog with a Batman flair that will be sure to tickle your fancy while giving you multiple mouthgasms, all at the same time.
[More Sponsors]
[Premium Sponsors]
Suburbia Interrupted
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@sunshinemommy Rants from suburbia. Secrets from the bedroom. A voice for womanhood. The Passion Punch thepassionpunch.com @kaylischattner The Passion Punch is where creative 20-something entrepreneurs, bloggers + small business owners go for Social Media + PR magic. Brain Snorts brainsnorts.com @brainsnorts I mainly write fiction, short stories, and novels, but I also write film reviews, observational humor, and social commentary. The Talk 2 Q Radio Show Talk2Q.com @Talk2Q
T2Q is a show for adults to get together to discuss trending topics including: relationships, politics, celebrities, sports and more! Unlike most shows where you simply listen to the host, I allow you a chance to do the talking... completely uncensored! “No experts. Just opinions.”
+indiechicklitCo @indiechicklit THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK [7]
what readers [say] 5 Reasons to Be Your Own Best Friend struck a cord with me. Having just endured a major falling out with a close friend, I felt lost and sad. Reading the article made me realize my closest friend wasn’t gone; she was looking back at me in the mirror. - Madison, New Hampshire
YES. YES. YES...to 13 Ways to Be Bold. Stop worrying what others think and start being your genuine self. Be bold. Take charge. Be you! - Kendra, Germany Chrystal nailed Finding The Happy. Stop going through the motions of everyday life. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Chrystal’s words: “I wasn’t living; I existed.” really hit home. Life is too short not to be happy whenever and wherever possible. - Lori, Florida
Reading this Magazine gave me the confidence and boost I needed to take charge of the relationships in my life and move on to healthier ones. Not a single page was wasted and each writer’s voice, though different, all sent the same message. I don’t want 40 Ways to Please Him, I want 15 Ways to Boost Self Esteem and that’s exactly what I got with the Indie Chick magazine. -Jessica, Pennsylvania
“
It was encouraging to know that unlike what my pageant counterparts tell me, there are a ton of women out there who are strong, independent, truly speak their minds, and are supportive of other women without being judgemental. It just means that what I thought was true not only is, but now it is in force! -Sweety, Arkansas
Sorry you missed out on these incredible articles from the last issue? Don’ t you worry, Indie Chick. You can download the digital version of any old issues right from our store! Visit ShopIndieChicks.com
New Year
2014
└
I’m a sucker for new beauty products. I believe a girl can never have too much makeup and/ or lotions. 20 Badass Beauty Products Under $5 was awesome. New (and cheap) products have been bought. All have been experimented with. Most will be bought again. Thanks, Indie Chick! - Megan, Florida
As a newly married 20-something who is now expecting, I have heard some scary stuff from women. Hearing the sex stops, the relationship as I know it ends, and that my life will be altered because of a baby is scary. I loved reading The Parent Trap and seeing that sex, flirting, and fun can still exist once our baby arrives. -Michelle, Georgia
[8] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
Amazing Singer, Dancer & Our Favorite Sweet, Little Goofball.
Want to learn more about our January Cover Girl, Cam-Ranh Chandler? YouTube: @ Cam-Ranh Chandler Instagram: @Camranhchandler Facebook: /CamRanhChandler
└
Check out her new single, Say It to My Face *We want your feedback! Email us and let us know what you think about our Summer 2014 issue! general@theindiechicks.com
From the [Editor] Sometimes I wonder if we get older quicker than the calendar says we do. Maybe not so much get older - more like we lose little bits of youth, like sneaky grains of sand falling through an overfilled bag with an irreperable hole. Where does it go? Does it disappear into the errands we run, the loved ones we care for, or the job we devote 80 hours a week to? How do our days end filled with exhaustion, depression, worry, and stress? I really think it’s all falling out of that bag, because the truth is, being an adult means having to make room for responsibilities by giving up on the things that please our inner child. But this is why I love Summer and why youth is the overall theme for this issue.
└
Chiara Mazzucco
Editor-in-Chief chiara@theindiechicks.com Facebook.com/Mazzucco.Chiara Twitter.com/iChiarasays #themusediaries
Well, I lied. There are a couple of themes in this issue. Youth is a loud concept during the summer months - as it should be. And while I realize we can’t all put our hair up in pig tails and play truth or dare around a bonfire, I think there is something to be said about the vitality this season’s breeze brings - like a reminder that youth is still within us, at any age. Growing up doesn’t mean giving up, and you should look forward to these warm months the same way you did as you waited for the bell to ring on your last day of school. Another theme we have going is finding inner peace. It’s like that deep breath you take the first day you set foot onto the beach. Summer is a time to relax and reboot; it’s a time to reconnect with whatever you’ve buried down low, underneath all your obligations and responsibilites. Take a deep breath and calm down.
Samii Ryan We are thrilled to introduce Samii to those that don’t already know her. Stylish, driven, inspirational and one of the most badass girls we’ve come across in a long time. Fall in love with her and see why naming her our next Indie Chick Cover Girl was an absolute no-brainer.
it’s time to reconnect with youth, peace, and self-acceptance
p.46
Self-acceptance, which is somewhat related to inner peace, is something we absolutely had to tackle in this issue. Summer means heat, and heat means clothes come off and insecurities turn on. If you want to enjoy yourself this summer - instead of the usual, “Next year I swear I’ll be bikini ready!” - then you have to take care of yourself from the inside, out. Our mission, as a whole, is to get you in tune with your inner badass, and summer is a perfect time to start. So put your hair up in pigtails if you have to; start meditating; write positive words in lipstick all over your mirror. Do what you have to do after reading this issue and prepare for an awesome summer, because I promise, it’s going to be amazing. •
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
[9]
popular [on]
TheIndie Chicks.Com
{
{
With new articles published daily on our website, it’s no wonder a few have hit home with such a huge number of our readers. In fact, here are a few that have really been rolling since the very first day they went live.
5 REASONS WHY GUYS CHEAT ON PRETTY GIRLS
Believe it or not, pretty girls get cheated on too, and there are reasons why it happens. Find out how we’re all created equal.
Speaking of cheating, have you ever wondered what it’s like to be on the other side, as the other woman?
A WARNING FROM A FORMER MISTRESS
RESTING BITCH FACE SYNDROME
WHAT A WOMAN NEEDS: 20 NON-NEGOTIABLES As women, we spend a large chunk of our day pleasing others. It’s easy to forget ourselves and what we need in the process. Reconnect with your needs, girl! You will be much happier.
With all the exciment, brides-to-be tend to ignore warnings that getting hitched may not be the right move. Are you paying attention to the red flags?
8 SIGNS YOU SHOULD CALL OFF YOUR WEDDING
4 APPALLING TRUTHS ABOUT GIRL TALK Let’s just say it’s dirtier than you think.
A day-by-day breakdown of what it’s like.
7 DAY JUICE FAST RESULTS juice sted in es? Intere servic delivery p. 77
We all know that someone whose face looks like it’s been stuck a certain way for years, and not for the better. Can you recognize a bitch face? Do you have one?
We somehow find it hard to stay away when we don’t feel we are getting the attention we deserve. So what do we do? We get crazy. Find out how to escape the obsession and find inner peace again.
HOW TO GET YOUR BOYFRIEND TO CHASE YOU AGAIN One minute you’re in the perfect relationship, the next minute your boyfriend doesn’t give you the time of day. How do you get him to chase you again?
Wondering if he’s diggin’ what you’re dishin?
12 SIGNS HE’S INTO YOU
STOP CALLING, STOP TEXTING AND LEAVE ‘EM ALONE!
Want more?
Check out our series!
▶ Indie Confessions, Sundays
▶ Blogger Link-ups, Saturdays ▶ Readers Help! Readers ask, readers help ▶ Motivation Monday, Mondays
[10] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
{
Take a deep breath and pick up your dignity. Feeling yourself go crazy is not worth it!
FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF AND THE WORLD WILL FOLLOW
TheIndieChicks.com
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
[11]
Attitude
9
{
Let your inner teen out to play this summer. It doesn’t matter how old you are, there is still so much we can enjoy as adults.
Ways toEnjoy SUMMER →
by: Chiara Mazzucco
Do you remember what summer was like when you were a teenager? The feeling that flowed through your entire body on the last day of class, as you watched the second hand tick closer to the final bell? Do you remember how two months of freedom seemed like forever and the possibilities were endless?
er!
g a n e e T a e Lik
I
was always the girl that reinvented herself before fall semester. The first day of school was my favorite day, no matter the anxiety I felt the night before. I always felt refreshed and like I could unquestionably ace all of my classes. It was almost as if those two months had poured endless magic, strength, and reassurance into me, and in many ways, that’s what my summers were all about. I travelled, I fell in and out of love, I danced, and I changed my look, constantly. Every year, I came back more energized and filled with more life experience than ever before. That’s what being a teenager was all about, wasn’t it? Life experience. I wish my summers could have stayed that way, but like everyone else, I had to grow up. I had to fill my summers
[12] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
with summer school and internships and other ridiculous obligations that I’m sure many would argue were still ‘life experience.’ But, when I look back, it’s the simple stuff I miss most and when I realize how much of my summer is going to be spent in front of a computer screen or a smartphone, it makes my inner teenager want to come out and slap me straight across the face. Life experience isn’t about being a teenager; it’s about being a human being. Teenagers are just a lot better at remembering that than we are because we’re busy flooded with bills, fatigue, and bikini body shame while their world is all about them. What a waste of a magical two months, don’t you think? Let’s bring back the magic.
1
DIY Makeover Party That’s right. There was a time in your life that you didn’t have hundred dollar bills hanging out of your wallet - I call that yesterday, because most of us are still trying to get there. So instead of going to the salon, you called your girlfriends over for a makeover party. One chick brought the polish, another brought the hair dye and scissors, and the others brought makeup, movies, and magazines.
around themselves, so you can let loose and let your body sway in whatever way it pleases.
3
It’s pretty amazing, so if you don’t get to it this summer, add it to your bucket list in general.
Go Explore
Remember when your friends would come over and you’d bounce out after dinner just to walk around the block with them? Though you were much too old to officially play pretend, you’d play the “imagine if” game, where you’d say things like, “Wouldn’t it be crazy if this guy who lived in this house had little aliens in his living room. Dude, he totally could, like, I never see him come out.” Hours later, you’d find yourselves peeking through his living room window, shushing each other, genuinely believing this guy was harboring little space creatures from Area 51. Exploring, no matter the age or gender, was the treadmill to our imagination. As an adult, you can still grab some friends and go for a walk. Make up stories while
people watching and let some of them go a little too far. Follow some strangers for a block and then as soon as you see someone else, follow them for the same distance. See where you end up. Getting creative, exploring, and playing games does more for our adult minds than we give it credit for.
Stay Out Late, Driving Around ... Just Because
4
We all did this. Whether you ran out of house parties to bounce to, or there were no house parties to crash altogether, we’ve all had those nights where we just drove around. We sang and talked about whatever, all until someone was tired or out past their curfew.
That was when you’d hear a song that really grabbed you by the insides and almost transported itself into your very being. You sang each word from your core and from that night on, the song would always have a special place in your heart. Years later, your friends would say, “Remember that night…” and you'd be brought right back to that special moment.
So why not do that now? You’re a big girl. You can read the at-home dye-ina-box instructions. Pick a color and your most trustworthy friend and get to experimenting. Pull out Pinterest and check out some cool DIY pins that don’t seem so hard to try at home. The thrill of it all will bring you right back to being a daring little teen.
2
And if you fuck up, you can always put a hat on, pull that hundred-dollar bill out, call your stylist, and blame it on a quarterlife-crisis. Works every time.
Find a Drum Circle
I know this sounds crazy, and I know that not everyone will have immediate access to a drum circle this summer, but if you do, you absolutely have to do it. There is something so liberating about all the drums beating around you while you dance amongst strangers. Most of us have only tried it once, when we were fearless teenagers, dared to join by our friends. No one is judging you because everyone is so focused on the rhythm of the beauty
Grab a friend and go for a walk or a bike ride (or ride your skateboards, if the idea excites you).
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
[13]
{ Attaching music to an experience is important, and I think somewhere along the lines of growing up, we lose that. Have your girlfriends pick you up, make a playlist that you’ll enjoy and instead of dishing out cash for an expensive dinner, pitch it to the driver for gas and get some snacks instead. You won’t die, I promise. Talk if you want to, sing if you need to, do whatever you want as long as you relax and enjoy the brisk air on your face and the stars (or lights) in your sky.
5
It’s really beautiful.
Get a Tattoo or Piercing
That’s right, and don’t tell your significant other about it until you do it. Remember coming home and being like, “Mooooom, I have to tell you something.” Well, now you’re just replacing the Mom with whatever pet name you call your lover. What a thrill! Okay, I get that tats and piercings aren’t for all of us, so feel free to replace this with henna, a short haircut, or an awkward crop top. The point of this idea is to be daring and fearless and do something bold! For those of us who are open to tattoos or piercings, the magical summer is the perfect
[14] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
6
time to get one that you’ve always wanted. Start looking around to get some ideas, do your artist research, grab a friend and go get inked! It doesn’t have to be a full sleeve or a tongue ring; you can get something small and personal!
Host a Co-Ed Sleepover
Do it. I’m talking sleeping bags on the floor, people with maddening sexual tension choosing to sit together and feel each other up while everyone awkwardly watches a movieI’m talking the whole 9 yards. Pull out the truth or dare and the booze, and arrange for the kids to stay elsewhere for a night. Bring back the fun, the awkward hookups, and the unexpected bonding sessions with people you never thought you’d connect with. Bonding with the girl that one guy brought, that you didn’t even like at the beginning of the night. Doing something scary and exciting while everyone watched. Bring that excitement back.
Remember the excitement you felt knowing that your favorite artists were going on tour? The day of the concert was always the best day of your life. Go get that high! You’re never too old for good music.
7
Take a 2-Day Road Trip With Your Girls
It doesn’t have to be a full-blown week off; you can coordinate a little getaway on days that fit everyone’s schedules. But why not drive a couple of hours away for a day trip and rent a room for the night with your girlfriends? Even if it’s just driving down the highway with the windows down, listening to old music, eating candy you’ve discovered contains high fructose corn syrup, which you would never be caught eating in your real life. Even if it’s just to stop at a gas station and have a memorable interaction with an old lady and her pet ferret, it’s a new memory to cherish. You don’t realize how important those minibreaks are until you find yourself gasping for air.
That was the magic of it all, connecting with people unexpectedly. Kissing your crush under the blanket for the first time while everyone slept.
8
Go to a Concert
I know this may sound like a no-brainer, but you and your friends are probably coming up with a million reasons why you can’t go to that concert you were all so excited to hear about a few months back. If you’ve ever been to a concert, you know what it feels like to have the magic of music flow through your body, alongside someone else that is having the same exact amazing experience. It’s magnetic and in many ways, it links your souls. It’s a lot more powerful than we give it credit for, and when we weren’t old enough to get into bars, that’s where most of us were going. Find a concert that you and your friends would enjoy and hold a squirt gun filled with ink at the head of each of your friends until the tickets are booked. Once you get there, leave your inhibitions at the door and let loose, get sweaty, and make a complete ass of yourself like you did when you were a teen. Getting back in your car after a concert like that is the most epic feeling of all. Check out some big concerts on p. 131!
9
And... Make Out With Someone
You’re getting older, but it doesn’t mean you have to stop having fun and enjoying your life and the people in it the way you used to, when life was all about you.
If you’re single, meet a guy and just kiss, kind of like you did back at camp or the one night your neighbor’s really cute cousin was visiting and you both stayed up later than everyone else. Now that you’re an adult, you might consider letting it go past kissing, but my advice here is not to. There is something so sensual and sweet about making out with someone, and I think the older we get, the more we forget how powerful it was way back when.
You deserve to make new memories. And if you think about it, even now that you’re old enough to drink and get into bars, it’s those simple things in life we miss most. ■
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If you’re dating or coupled up, there’s a good chance you’re not making out as much as you did when you first met, so make out - and do it a lot. Make out everywhere in your house. Make out everywhere in public, and make people around you feel weird. It’s awesome. Make sure someone, somewhere, utters the following words under their breath: "Like a bunch of horny teenagers!" Pft! I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, and if I am, it’s because you had a shitty adolescence, and it’s even more reason to grab this summer by its teenage balls.
Life is fun. If it ever stops being fun, perk up and make the necessary changes... because a fun life is worth fighting for.
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“Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.” Aristotle
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Girlfriends are severely underrated. Sometimes life gets busy and we lose touch, or we’re too preoccupied by our significant others, jobs, or children to make the time. Making space for your friendships isn’t only good for them, but it’s good for you too.
+RECONNECTING with
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Girlfriends
We’ve all been there. Whether it’s because life has gotten too hectic or we’ve fallen in love, we’ve all become disconnected from our girlfriends at one point or another. Suddenly, months have passed and you realize you haven’t seen your friends in..? You’ve lost track and it’s sort of embarrassing isn’t it? Instead of ignoring the problem (which I assure you is so much easier), face it head on and bring your best betches back into your life.
› Call them You know that thingy you carry around that has all your social media accounts, apps, games, and calendar? It’s a phone, too. Yes, that means you can make actual calls on it. It’s so easy to get in the habit of texting, IMing, DMing & PMing our friends that we forget how strong a verbal connection can be. My best friend is in nursing school and has an incredibly demanding full time day job. We aren’t able to physically see each other so every Sunday one of us calls the other. It’s an awesome boost to unload our week onto each other and talk each other through whatever it is we might need to talk through. So find a time that’s good for you and her, and make it a habit. Are you the reason you haven’t hung out? (You
› Apologize profusely know if it is or not, and remember it takes two to tango baby.) Apologize. Say you’re sorry and that there’s no excuse for you to blow off your friendships. Are they the reason? Who cares! Be the bigger person, and be the one to reach out and apologize that you haven’t gotten together. Either way, tell them that you miss them and that you need some time with them ASAP, even if it’s just a little bit. Maybe they need you to be the one to break the ice. Do it gladly.
by: Chrystal Rose
› Make a date Haven’t seen your girl (or girls) in so long you forget what their hot ass faces look like? Pick a night with enough lead-time and arrange for a date. Host a gathering in your home, plan to meet for dinner/wine/appetizers/cocktails— whatever your thing is, and don’t break it. Let them know how important this is to you and that it’s unacceptable it’s gone on this long.
›Don’t be that friend... Don't be that friend who falls down the boyfriend rabbit hole. You have a boyfriend, it’s new (or not) and you’re sooo in love? That’s freaking great, but there’s no excuse for ditching your friends. Not only is it a d-bag move, but you’re also screwing yourself for when you actually need someone to be there for you. You’re also not able to be there for them when they need you. So take some time now and then, I promise your man will still be around when you get back. And if he isn’t, it’s definitely for the best. The one who excludes her friends from her life because they don’t have kids. I see on Facebook all the time people wah-wahhing about not having enough friends with kids. We get it, your life revolves around your adorable, drooling rugrat, but if you’re cutting out good people because they personally haven’t popped one out, you’re doing yourself a disservice. Sure, it’s awesome to have friends who understand about poopy diapers and Wonderpets, but what about the other needs you have? What about that friend of yours who's single and always knows how to crack you up? Or that friend who’s been with her man forever, but doesn’t happen to have children? Don’t shun them just because your lives aren’t identical. In reality, no one’s is and sometimes the people we have less in common with, can bring out amazing things in us we didn’t know were there.
The one who complains you never hang out and then flakes. So you’ve gotten steps 1-3 down pat, you just always cancel last minute or something comes up. Stop. Seriously, just stop it. If you are just calling these people your friends because it makes you feel better, you need to take a look at yourself. Whether it’s laziness, fakeness, or straight up assholeness, you need to either not make plans at all—or start committing to the ones you make.
› Be the friend that... Be the chick who is there when your friends really need you. There’s a difference between someone who only calls you when they want something and a friend who genuinely needs your help. If you’re an Indie Chick, you’ve been there, done that and can make this distinction. Sometimes, your friend won’t even ask for your help, but a good girlfriend helps anyway. Is she going through a break up? Show up with wine, ice cream and a Redbox. Is she sick with the flu? Bring her some soup, meds and a yellow smiley face balloon to cheer her up. It doesn’t have to break your wallet to be there for a friend. All it takes is the desire to see her smile. Be the chick who reaches out when she needs them. It’s a two-way street for a reason, girl. Having a hard day/week/month? Need a shoulder to cry on? Call your girlfriend. Holding in your pain will only result in more pain for you and even some possible resentment for having to go it alone. Let her be there for you, let her take care of you. Sometimes when you do that you’re really doing something for them as well. It doesn’t matter if you have a handful of amazing girlfriends or just one, having them is a gift. If you’ve lost touch, do yourself a favor and reconnect with them. If you have rock solid friendships—hell yeah girl, keep it up! You deserve to be surrounded by wonderful, badass women like yourself. ■
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Psst! Interested in reading more about introverts? Visit TheIndieChicks.com and check out two amazing articles we promise you’re going to love: Confessions of a Closet Introvert and The Introvert Myth.
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INTROVERT’S GUIDE to coming out of your
SHELL by: Julie Zantopolous
“Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.” - Susan Cain
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hen I wrote about being an introvert on our website, I was pleasantly surprised to see so many readers raising their hands and owning that they, too, were introverts. Being an introvert does come with its challenges, but it’s nothing we can’t handle. I think it’s important to realize, before we go any further in this article, that being an introvert is not a flaw and there is nothing about yourself that needs fixing. However, there are certain times where you are forced to be in social situations, when staying home by yourself isn’t an option, and that is when these tools for coming out of your shell will help.
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BE SELECTIVE Sure, this may sound a bit counterproductive to actually coming out of your shell, but trust me, it helps. When you’re more selective about the social obligations you make, you’ll feel more in control, less spread thin, and less stressed. When you can tailor your social interaction to things that only mildly push you out of your comfort zone and move at your own pace—that’s how you’ll start to be more confident. Come out of your shell: Try accepting 1/3 of all low-stress invitations, like meeting at a friend’s house or even a stranger’s house party where you know you’ll
know a few people. Then, challenge yourself to accept 1/6 of the high stress invitations, like invitations to speak, crowded clubs, and situations where you won’t know anybody. Push yourself. You’re capable of more than you know.
BEHIND THE LENS One of the things that makes me laugh is that introverts are often the ones pushing other people to be more outrageous. For example, an introvert will be the one behind the camera who is trying to snap pictures or take videos of their friends acting crazy, but are rarely in the photos themselves. There is safety and comfort behind the lens for us. As an introvert, I’ve taken a lot of trips and often looked back on my pictures only to realize I have a ton of my travel mates and none of myself - like, anywhere. Come out of your shell: Get in front of the lens, even if it’s just to take silly selfies. When you get used to being the subject/focal point, you realize that you freaking shine. Hand your friend the camera and make an appearance. After all, actually going out is a big deal for you and you should be proud of it!
We never grow or expand if we’re not faced with situations that force us to do so. THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Isn’t it refreshing to know that what comes perfectly natural for you is your greatest strength? Your power is in your nature. You may not think it’s a big deal that you can spend hours immersed in something that interests you—alone—but the extrovert next door has no idea how you do it. Laurie Helgoe
Are you an introvert?
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You rarely speak up unless there’s something of value you think you can add. Being sent to your room never felt like punishment, you enjoy being alone. You’re probably the go to advice giver of your group because you listen so well! After going out in social situations you often feel drained and need to recharge with some solo time. The thought of making small talk sends you into a panic spiral but giving a talk to thousands on a topic you love is no problem.
WHERE YOU SHINE, REALLY SHINE We hate the attention being on us and shy away from the spotlightmost of the time. I never really saw a connection between my love of movies, plays, watching sports and concerts and my introvert nature, but there’s definitely something there. Think about it; in each of those situations, the attention is elsewhere. I can comfortably be with a large group of people in those situations because nothing is expected of me and we’re all focused on one common thing. And though as introverts it’s much easier for us to get lost in the crowd, I still dare you to shine. Come out of your shell: It’s been my experience there is usually an area of social interaction that, despite being an introvert, you really rock at. For me, it’s getting others to laugh. Once I get that first laugh, I can breathe a little deeper and relax a bit more. Find what you’re
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awesome at, where you shine, and rock it. Maybe it’s making drinks, where you can listen to others and do less talking. If that’s the case, get to mixing!
SET GOALS AND MEET THEM One thing I like to do for myself before I enter a stressful situation is to set goals. What’s the point? Well, it gives me something else to focus on and allows me to stay within myself a bit. If I have a goal I’m supposed to meet, I can look at it as a competition within myself - like a game - and suddenly it’s all doable. We never grow or expand if we’re not faced with situations that force us to do so. Being in those situations is important, but so is learning from them, so make sure that you get something from each experience. Come out of your shell: Make each time you go out worth it. Set a goal to get a number, make a networking connection, hand out 10 business cards, talk to a stranger, shake 3 people’s hands, introduce yourself to 5, or
something as simple as staying the entire time. No matter what it is, challenge yourself and make a game out of it.
WHEN IT’S ALL TOO MUCH There are times where you have agreed to go out, you’ve set your goals, and you’re still met by overwhelming uncertainty and anxiety. This is where you need to breathe, remember that you’ll be just fine, and treat yourself afterwards. For most introverts it isn’t a fear of being around others as much as the fact that it drains the crap out of us. It’s okay to say you’ve had enough and call it a night. Come out of your shell: Make sure that you don’t schedule back-to-back nights out. Leave yourself a day to recover from the madness and recharge your own batteries. Knowing when to say “I can’t” is just as important as accepting invitations. Don’t take 4 steps backwards because you pushed so hard for the 2 forward. Slow and steady, chica.
+Through His Eyes OWN YOUR UNIQUENESS I read a quote recently (left) that really stuck with me and made me see my “in my own head” mentality a lot differently. You are beautiful, wonderful, powerful, and amazing in your own right. Embrace what makes you uniquely you and share it with the world. If you’re in a social situation, try breaking off into a smaller conversation and going deep with it, as we introverts often like to do. I was a rock star at these conversations in college! All it took was one high person and I could talk all night long about books, movies, music, and any other number of topics. Come out of your shell: If you are an expert at something, own it and share it. If you have a company, product, blog, or life goal that you are passionate about, talk about it and others will be hooked. You are always more engaging and enchanting to others when you’re speaking about something that you love and that is what sets you apart from others. There are a lot of tools for introverts to navigate social situations in an extrovert world, and different ones work for different people. Find what works best for you, use it when you have to, but remember that you’re freaking amazing just as you are. There is no right or wrong when it comes to introverts and extroverts, it takes both kinds of people to make the world go around. Accept your place in the bigger picture and know that your quiet introspection is just as valuable as somebody else’s outward opinion. Hell, maybe even more so.■
A Strong Confident Woman by Eddie Cabbage eddiecabbage.com instagram.com/eddiecabbage etsy.com/shop/PoetryOnDemand eddiecabbage@gmail.com THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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SHUT negative by: Chiara mazzucco
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hen it comes to friendships, we put up with a lot. If a friend gets her heart broken, fired, or mistreated in any way, shape or form, she’s automatically given a pass to bitch, moan, and complain about it for as long as she reasonably wants. But even when life throws its biggest curveballs, we can only handle so much and we find ourselves saying, Enough is enough, Nancy! Pull yourself together! And it’s not just those who whine that suffocate our lives, either. Do you have anyone in your life who always expects the worst outcome, no matter how good the chances are? Everyone’s super excited about an opportunity, crossing every limb and saying every prayer, and then Nancy just opens her mouth and is like, “It’s probably not going to happen, guys.” As if the doubt wasn’t already in everyone’s mind, you’re now having to worry about shutting up the negative committee, yapping sadness away in the corner. Shut up! Miracles DO happen. Santa DOES exist, bitch! And if she’s not complaining about her life or killing your hopes and dreams, she’s starting a fight with someone or stirring up drama that has no business being stirred up. There you are, having a good time at a bar with your friends, and Nancy decides the bartender is a slut and that she’s never made a drink in her life. Dude, chill out!
Nancy Gets Louder During Summer Blame it on the heat, blame it on the body envy, but for some reason, Nancy gets louder during the Summer season, and it feels like there’s no shutting her up. If she’s not complaining about her bikini body, she’s judging the first woman who walks by her. Oh, you know her tits are fake and you can totally see her cellulite! It’s almost as if someone handed her a mic when they realized her insecurities were amplified during a season when women show more skin, people are more bold, and the world is generally a happier place.
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Nancy up! We all have those people in our lives that whine and complain about absolutely everything. If it's not the weather, it's their job, or their bills, or the market. Everything is negative and has no hope. Love handles are the end of the world, your start-up is never going to take off, and life is gloomy and sad and constantly bending you over… and… ENOUGH!
Which is Why You Need to Shut Her Up The thing about the Negative Nancy in our life is simple: just because she’s a sourpuss doesn’t mean she’s necessarily a bad person. Chances are you've known her for a really long time and her sad little attitude isn’t enough to cut off ties. You don’t have to. In fact, she needs more positive light as much as you need less of the negative, so it’s your job to make that happen. You should aim to shut her up all year long, but the truth of the matter is, Summer should be all about fun, freedom, and inner peace, so if you need a good reason to start, this one should be it. You don’t need Nancy wanting to go to bed early and trying to guilt you into joining her when everyone is up having a good time. You don’t need her complicating finances when everyone is trying go to concerts or on a weekend getaway. You also definitely don’t need her passing judgment at every decision you make. It can all add up and weigh heavily on your enjoyment of the summer. No matter who she is in your life, one thing’s for sure: she needs to shut the fuck up.
First Try Kindness Your best defense is a strong offense, not while the negativity is flowing at full speed. When Negative Nancy is in a temporary state of bliss, that’s when you attack. Do so kindly, of course, but bring up the fact that you’re looking to have a drama free night and that you expect everyone to leave the drama at the door. Or, if you’re banking on something great happening, tell her ahead of time that you only want positive vibes around the outcome. Keep it as general as possible so that she doesn’t feel attacked or like she’s being called out.
If That Doesn't Work Then cut her off. Think along the lines of breaking into her apartment when she’s covered in ice cream and sappy music and doodling her ex’s name on her forehead. Enough is enough, quit this shit! Whether you’re doing a heartbreak intervention or you have to call her out in the middle of the act, you have got to let her know that the attitude needs to stop. Beware, this may start a fight, but at the end of the day your end goal is to rid yourself of the negativity, so if that means having to slap her across the face with a reality check, then so be it. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Still Can't Hear You? If you’ve tried kindness and have interrupted her in the middle of the act and she still hasn’t changed her ways, you need to ninja chuck your cards right onto the table and tell it like it is. “Listen, Nancy, you’re a fucking drag. All you do is complain, judge others, and crush dreams. I don’t want that around me anymore and if you can’t stop then you need to get out and let me enjoy my summer.” Try it. It’s actually quite liberating. The thing is, you will radiate the kind of energy you surround yourself with, whether it’s positive or negative - it’s inevitable. Not only will Negative Nancy drastically darken your summer, but she will also darken your overall state of mind, which will carry over into the next few seasons. We put up with a lot when it comes to friendships, and that’s totally fine. But don’t allow the bending to affect your own well-being, because you come first and you deserve to be surrounded by people that bring you value, especially during the few months you’re expected to enjoy yourself. Tell Negative Nancy to either shape up, shut up, or get the hell out. It’s Summer! ■
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Dealing with Jealousy
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by:Renee Claybion
Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistible urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee.” -J.R. Ward, Dark Lover
S
o she’s got a hot body and he’s always surrounded by a gaggle of girlfriends, and there you are lurking in the background, watching intently as your stomach churns, your heart races and an all-consuming heat starts to fill your body. Before you know it you’ve been bitten by the jealousy bug and can’t stand to look at either of them. Jealousy is an annoyingly common feeling that can pull even the most confident of women into its grasp. While there are an infinite number of little things that can spawn it, nothing quite compares to feeling jealous when it comes to a close friend or boyfriend. So what do you do when the green-eyed monster takes control and jeopardizes the important relationships in your life? Don’t you worry about a thing, I’ve got the tools you’ll need to defeat that jealous monster and take control of your feelings.
Bikini Bitch! Summer time means warm weather, short skirts, crop tops and beach days. You’ve been waiting all week for your Saturday beach day with the girls and found the perfect bright pink bikini. You took your time in the mirror making sure every curve fit into place, found a cute cover up and even did the beach waves on your hair. It’s the perfect day filled with laughs until Suzy shows up and peels off her cover up to reveal her perfectly chiseled, scar-
[24] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
free body. I mean, how many abs does she actually need? In an instant all the time spent primping feels wasted and the sun seems to have disappeared behind a dark cloud. Now the only thing on your mind is how to make this bitch feel like shit for ruining your mojo. Hello, Jealousy. How to deal: Before you allow your jealousy to ruin everyone’s day, take a minute to
accept what’s happening. Acknowledge that you’re jealous and try and pinpoint what exactly is making you feel that way. Is it her hard body? Is it her Brazilian bikini? Or is it the confidence with which she stripped down? Whatever the case, you won’t be able to banish jealousy without first confronting the catalyst. If she has a better body than you, ask her what she’s been doing to keep in such great shape. Try and put her progress in perspective. Maybe she worked really hard
to get that body, maybe she needed this day surrounded by friends to build the confidence to strut her stuff. Don’t be bitter; instead use it as a way to make yourself better.
He’s Mine! You and your boyfriend are enjoying the warm summer night, sipping on some beers, when some teenager walks by with next to nothing on. You’re not even sure if he did a full look to check her out, but you can’t help but notice her group of friends dancing and laughing. You’re constantly looking over your shoulder to see what they’re doing, why they’re laughing and if any of them are making eyes at your man. Jealousy has reared its ugly head, and now every move they make warrants your attention. Any time your boyfriend moves you assume it’s just to get closer to them, and now your mood is in the shitter. Before you know it, you’ve created a plan for any possible confrontation and are convinced that they’ve telepathically flirted with your man. How you doin’, jelly belly? How to deal: You may want to sit down for this one but… there are pretty girls all over the fucking place! Recovered from that bombshell? Good. When you’re out with your boyfriend and you spot a sexy girl, shrug it off with a smile. Instead of imploding, think about it like this: at one point you were the youngin’ in the club with nothing but pasties on, but now you’re in a different place and have the love of a great guy. Don’t assume that he’s looking at every hot girl that passes by, sure he might grab a quick glance (he is, after all, a man), but that doesn’t mean he’s going to run and leave you at the dinner table. Put more stock in your relationship and all the other things you have to offer beyond a sexy exterior package. After all, there’s a reason he’s with you and not one of them. Jealousy, be gone!
I Should Have That! You meet with your bestie for after-work drinks, and she looks like the cat that ate the canary. Suddenly, she cuts you off mid-sentence to display a shiny rock on her left finger. Bam! You plaster a big smile on your face, marvel at the size and try your best to get the word ‘congratulations’ out. Internally, your mind just exploded; she’s not even in love with this guy, she’s just with him for the money, she’s such a whore and he’ll definitely end up cheating on her. How could she possibly get married before you? You’ve been in a committed relationship for 6 years and she’s only been with him 6 months, where the hell is your ring? Steady there, green eyes.
How to deal: So she’s got a massive rock on her finger and can’t wipe the smile off her face. Want to get rid of that jealous feeling? Be there for her. You’re her friend, and this is an exciting time in her life, no matter what your opinion is, and she shared it with you because she loves you. While you might be envious of her excitement and want the same, that doesn’t mean you have to bash her. Show her how supportive you can be and get the proposal details. She’ll be more than willing to spill and it will give you time to mentally pull it together. Don’t compare your relationship to hers and go home and bully your boyfriend into taking the next step. Your day will come and when it does, you’ll want her to be excited for you too. Jealousy can take over everything if you allow it, but always remember you are in control. It’s not easy for anyone to admit they’re feeling jealous, but if you can master that, you remove the power it holds over you. Be the badass friend and girlfriend you know you can be and be a pillar of support and love because when your time comes, you’ll want them to do the same. ■
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Feeling jealous? Take a step back and go look in the mirror. The green-eyed monster is not a good look on an Indie Chick.
Renee's knack for telling it like it is and looking at life with a bit of humor gives her a unique voice and perspective. Renee can be found singing at the top of her lungs in LA traffic, enjoying her favorite horror films and playing around with her rambunctious 8 year-old son Aidan. @renegade_renee_
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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how to
FORGIVE yourself by: Chrystal Rose
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You’ll never be the best version of you if you don’t stop holding yourself back. Forgiving yourself for your past, your mistakes and even things beyond your control are the first steps on the path to self-love. [26] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
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n the last issue, I discussed how to let go of resentment with others, but forgiving yourself may be an even more difficult task. When we make bad choices, decisions and mistakes, we sometimes attempt to blame someone else, but in our hearts we know the blame falls on us. We are the ones in control of our actions therefore we are responsible for them. Have you done something terrible to another person? Have you missed out on something you wish you hadn’t because of a choice you made? Did you blow off something important that you can’t get back? Did you waste time on something that turned out to not be worth it? Do you wish you could go back in time to change something you said, or would have resulted in a better outcome? Are you mad at yourself? If the answer to any of those questions is “yes,” then it sounds like some forgiveness is in order.
Apologize
If you hurt someone, blew someone off or someone else suffered the brunt of your actions, in any way—apologize. It doesn’t matter if they forgive you; forgiveness is on them and something they will have to live with. Apologize because you know you were wrong and because you owe it to them, and yourself, to own it. Whether you hurt someone else or if you were the only one who suffered from your actions, I’m sure you already feel terrible about it. If you do, you’re already partly there. Tell yourself you’re sorry. Cry if you need to. Let every last shred out and be really fucking sorry.
Have Compassion When you apologize to yourself, you also have the power to forgive and you have the advantage of knowing how truly sorry you are. Have some compassion for yourself, like you’d want someone else to have for you. It doesn’t matter if you think you deserve it, because you do. Everyone deserves compassion, and not all of us are lucky enough to get it from the people we need it from most. You are the one person who will be by your side your entire life, so if you can’t offer yourself compassion, then who do you really have? Give it freely to yourself. And I’m not telling you that it’s okay to run around being
an asshole and then forgiving yourself, that’s just shitty and will come back around to bite you in the ass. I’m just telling you that if there’s an emotional blockage because you’ve had a hard time forgiving, you need to have compassion and let it go.
Accept
Things happen the way they are supposed to. Sure, if it were possible for you to go back in time and change everything, things would be different. But you can’t. And since you can’t go back in time, you need to accept the fact that it’s happened and there’s nothing you can do about it. Don’t shrug it off, of course, but know that the “what ifs, shouldas, couldas & wouldas” simply can’t happen. When you accept the fact that you can’t change the past, you’re more likely to forgive yourself.
Move Forward
While you can’t change the past, you can improve your present and change the future. You don’t have to be trapped in the mold of the person you once were. There are plenty of pessimistic people out there shouting that, “people never change!” and “once a cheater always a cheater!” Why do they get to decide that about you? Why do they get to be the ones that say you can’t change? Do you believe them? You’re the only one who truly knows what’s
inside your heart, and if you want to change, you can. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but it takes a desire and willingness to get started. That’s it. You get to plant the seed of change and forge your own path, while the naysayers are really the ones who can’t break free.
Have Patience Just like when you want to forgive someone else or want them to forgive you, it won’t happen right away. You may need to repeat the steps a few times or you may get stuck on one. Know that it’s okay. Take your time and really flush yourself of all the toxic energy and negative feelings. Take each day, one at a time. Know that with each baby step, no matter how small, progress is being made. -Listen to me, it doesn’t matter what you did, or how bad you think you are—you deserve forgiveness. I will repeat: It doesn’t matter what you did, or how bad you think you are— You deserve forgiveness. Love yourself first; forgive yourself for all you believe you’ve done wrong and love yourself some more. Forgiving yourself won’t just make you a better person for you, but it will trickle into the other areas and relationships in your life as well. A huge weight will be lifted from your shoulders and you’ll be able to fit in more positivity and light, where that darkness once was.■
[28] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
[how to]
Enjoya
Wedding
you don’t support
by: Julie Zantopoulos The thick ivory envelope mocks you from its place on your coffee table. The invitation to a wedding that you do NOT want to attend begs to be opened. How in the world are you going to get through this one?
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eddings are a time of love and getting together with family and friends to celebrate the start of an amazing life, joined with somebody who makes you a better version of yourself. Summer screams weddings; I’ve been in, and attended, more weddings in the summer than any other season. Whether it is indoor, outdoor, destination, large or small, weddings are a time to support the happy couple and give their future together your blessing. But, what if you don’t? How do you survive attending, or even being in the bridal party, of a wedding that you don’t support? As friends, there are times we see the vital flaws in a relationship but know we can’t voice our opinion any louder without pushing our friend away. We’ve
voiced our concerns, asked them if they are sure this is what they want to be doing, and their answer was, “Yes, I love him and this is what I want.” So, it’s now your job to put on that dress, smile, and do your best to support what you don’t believe is the best thing for her. Why? Because you love her and it’s her life, her decision, and all you can do is be there to help if things turn to shit. In the meantime you can follow these tips to get you through the ‘happy’ day without losing your sanity, completely.
DON’T GET DRUNK At most weddings it is the open bar that you live for but this is not the case at a wedding you don’t fully support. With every drink
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gathers, somebody has one too many drinks at the open bar, and drama ensues. Even at the most civilized of weddings some kind of “emergency” is sure to arise. Whether it’s just a broken dress strap or a crying child, being helpful to other people will do a few things. Firstly, it will distract you from the fact that you’re at a wedding you don’t support. Secondly, you feel instantly better when you help other people. Lastly, even if you make a few grimaces during the first dance the only thing you’ll be remembered for at that wedding is how you were the go to problem solver, and everyone loves that person.
CUT AND RUN
Learn to tame your inner bitch. Not every wedding you attend is going to be one you support.
you finish, the chances of you saying something you’ll regret gets higher and higher. You know that chick next to you at the bar, the one you're bitching to about the groom? Yeah, that’s his sister. Better to stay sober and leave your lips zipped.
FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES Whether or not you think the marriage is going to last, you’re there because you care about the bride and today is a day she’s really excited about. So put aside your own personal reservations and remember that this day isn’t about you. Their wedding day should be a happy one, even if they’re cheating on each other and will be divorcing within a year. The day should be about love, promise and the idea of a great future. Think outside of yourself, put on a smile, and be genuinely happy for them in that moment. And if you can’t do that, if that’s too much of a reach, at least you’ll have a great dinner you don’t have to cook.
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MAKE OUT Find a single hottie and distract yourself with some wedding reception flirtation. One of the greatest parts of being a single woman at a wedding is that you can have bridesmaid sex. Seriously, that’s in the bylaws somewhere! If you’re not single then chances are you got an “and guest” and you have somebody there with you. Either way, it’s okay to focus on a flirtationship and get a little make out session in. I told you to stay sober but I didn’t say you couldn’t have a drink or two and be a bit sensual on the dance floor with the bride’s 4th cousin from out of town. Let your hair down and have a little fun.
BE OF SERVICE Help out! Gather the cards, run interception between feuding family members, and tame the drunk uncle hitting on the bride’s friends. You’ll be so busy being helpful to your bride bestie that you won’t have time to focus on anything else. We all know it happens. The whole family
Don’t stay any longer than you have to. If you’re not in the bridal party it’s absolutely acceptable to sneak away after the first 30 minutes of dancing. Trust me, the bride and groom are so busy they’re not likely to notice. This works even better if there isn’t a videographer, or one who doesn’t stay the entire length of the wedding. If it’s a destination wedding there is nothing wrong with saying you need air and taking yourself for a long walk. When you feel it all becoming a bit too much just remove yourself. If your resolve to stay positive is about to snap then just head home, pour yourself a stiff drink, and pat yourself on the back for making it through the wedding. In a perfect world every wedding we attend would be one that we supported with our whole hearts, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way. At the end of the day the best way to enjoy a wedding for a couple you just don’t think are right for each other, is to remember it’s not your life, your decision or your place to rain on their day. There is a saving grace in making the most of every situation and a little perspective goes a long way. How you feel about their marriage really doesn’t matter. If your friend or family member is happy then it’s your job to be happy for them. Sip that whiskey on the rocks, get on the dance floor, find a cutie to kiss or a crisis to tend to, and make the most of an awkward situation. You’ve got this. ■
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Challenge Your Inner Badass by: Chiara Mazzucco
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In the January 2014 Issue, we introduced you to your inner badass. In this issue, you’re going to learn why you have to challenge her to keep her growing and fueling yourself to become the best possible version of you. Who is your inner badass, exactly? She’s a brilliant flame of confidence, strength and courage, and she resides deep within your core. She’s the reason you’ve survived all the troubles of your past and the reason you’ll keep surviving the ones that await you. She is in every way, shape and form, the best version of you. The question is: How do you keep your little warrior strong and ready for battle when the waters of life are nice and calm? You challenge her.
Why is Challenge Important? When you survived that first heartbreak, so did she. When you got stronger and wiser, and stopped dating abusive men, so did she. Your inner badass has grown and evolved with you and has learned the same lessons along the way. But as growth and wisdom can't kept you free of struggle, your inner badass has many more battles to fight and like a muscle, needs to constantly be worked out to retain her strength. Grabbing her and putting her in new environments, forcing her to stretch and explore, is how you’ll know she’ll be ready the next time you need her.
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4 Ways to Challenge Her Now 1. Say No Most of us are inherent people pleasers because we want others to like us and accept us in whatever form our relationship calls for. Sometimes we let friends use us a bit more than we should. We’ll let someone we’re interested in take the driver’s seat because we want to give him what he wants. Sometimes we’ll even sacrifice our self-definition and core values to keep the world around us at peace. It’s easy to lie down and play a passive role in the decisions and needs of others. It’s not so easy to stand your ground and risk disturbing the calm waters around you. Learn to say no when something doesn’t contribute to your own well-being or you find yourself constantly sacrificing precious time and energy without getting
the same in return. Exercising your understanding that you have control over yourself will do wonders when you feel you’re lacking it in the future.
2. Short-Term Bucket List Bucket lists aren’t just for the terminally ill and those who dream through rosecolored lenses. They serve as a reminder that life should be more than living paycheck to paycheck in the same monotonous routine. Life is about fun, adventure, and most of all--experience. Long-term bucket lists are home to those big-time dreams, like cage diving with great white sharks or going on a yearlong trip through Europe. And while those big dreams are important to have, not being able to achieve them on a regular basis can make for a pretty boring life.
Set short-term goals for things you want to do that will make you - and your inner badass - feel a little more adventurous. You’ll unknowingly be reaffirming that life is about fun, adventure, and overall experience; so when the world feels like it’s crumbling on top of your shoulders, your inner badass will know what life is really for, and will know to cross an item off that list when you need to be reminded of it, too. Keep her on her toes, she’ll need to know how to handle the unforeseen.
3. Focus on Helping Others Your inner badass goes into hibernation after a storm. Rainbows form, birds chirp, and unicorns trollop across your fields. It’s not that she doesn’t want to be strong, it’s just that there’s nothing to be strong for, and like a muscle that needs to be kept strong, her drive to survive does too. Lucky for her, though your life may be temporarily covered in sprinkles, chances are that someone needs your inner badass to awaken theirs. You should always be willing to help those in need, especially when the coast is clear in your own life. But do you have any idea how empowering it is to be someone’s strength when they can’t find it elsewhere? Something beautiful happens when you’re busy being someone else’s support system: you are reminded that you are a capable beacon of stability and should you need that strength when your waters aren’t as calm, that reflection will be there waiting.
4. Do Scary Shit You know those moments you really want to do something and no one is around, but you don’t because for some reason you’re afraid? Maybe you want to compliment someone on their outfit, but that person is already surrounded by a ton of attention and you think stepping into the circle would be embarrassing. Or your crush gives you an “in” when he tells you his plans were cancelled for the evening - how cool would it be to just ask, “Want to go to dinner with me instead?” We miss most shots in life because we just don’t take them. We live inside our heads and only come out when we have to, because it’s safer that way. But what if I told you that if you went for it, most of the time, you’d always get what you wanted? What if I told you that this little exercise could get your inner badass ready to tackle anything you threw her way? Life gets harder as we grow. Problems are more problematic, life in general gets more complicated; and as the days go by, more and more factors are being tossed into the mix, turning what should be clear-cut decisions into complicated mathematical equations with no real solution in sight. It only makes sense that your defenses grow too. You need your strong little army to be ready for battle, no matter what that entails. You need your little badass.
Let Her Evolve With You when you feel your heart race, don’t be scared. embrace it. life is about adventure and courage and the sooner you realize you’re strong enough to tackle the world, the more fun life will immediately get. I promise.
So devote what you can to making her strong because the next time life throws an inevitable curveball your way, she’ll come out with guns blazing.■
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the 10 Commandments of Girl Code
that friend. She’ll be infinitely grateful and return the favor.
a bracelet or something. Best friends means being there for all of each other’s needs, both shallow and deep.
by: Hell On Heels Girl 1. Always remember that girl’s night is SACRED. Girls need quality girl time. It’s vital to our existence. If we want to talk about girly things, like our new favorite lipstick or engage in some light gossip, we shouldn’t have to censor ourselves. Before you invite your boyfriend, fiancé, or the guys
along for the night, it’s always best to double check. They don’t want to hear the girly stuff just as much as we don’t want to say it in front of them. 2. Live, love and like all of your best friend’s Instagram photos. This should be etched on the back of all phone cases, or on the inside of
3. Every girl gets to have “that night.” If your friend had a bad break up, or things are on the downswing for her, let her have her night where she gets to cut loose a bit. Slip on your party dress, slide into your glittery heels and get ready to drop it like it’s hot with her all night long. (And make sure you’re available for the hangover brunch the next day!) 4. You can talk smack with your best betches, but you should NEVER talk smack about your best betches. If a girl can’t count on her best friends to always have her back like a Celine coat, then who can she count on? 5. Don’t put down or tease your girlfriends in front of guys. Being publicly ridiculed is absolutely awful. Like, a car drove by, splashed you and ruined your brand new, suede Prada shoes awful. And no girl wants to be responsible for ruining her best friend’s brand new, suede Prada shoes. 6. Be a good wing-woman. There will come a time when you want to stay just a little bit longer because you’ve been talking to a cute guy all night. Obviously, you don’t want to stay alone, so you need just one friend to stay with you. When your friend needs it, be
7. If you have an amazing skinny arm in a photo, but your friend looks less than stellar, crop her out or don’t post it at all. Because we have ALL been in that situation where we cannot untag ourselves fast enough. 8. Be clear about the exflame policy. So, you want to date a guy that your friend used to be involved with? Tread lightly. Gauge how significant of an ex he may be. You shouldn’t be going after your friend’s ex-fiancé or long time college boyfriend, but if you think that there may be something there with you and someone’s meaningless, long time ago, two-week fling, then that’s a different story. Follow the precedent set by your group when dealing with this situation, but most importantly-- be honest. Tell your friend what’s going on because that’s something that should come from you, not someone else. 9. Let your friend have her moment. She got engaged? Got into grad school? Huge promotion at work? Two words: congratulate and celebrate! Make a huge deal out of it and show her that you’re proud. Celebrate life’s ups with those who have been there through it all. 10. And most importantly, just be there. Best friends are there for you like your favorite heels – without question - and they always make you feel hair-flip fabulous. ■
@HellOnHeelsGirl
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Hell On Heels Girl is a 20-something Bostonian, taking on life in stiletto-clad stride, one vodka drink at a time. Between working, studying law, shopping, socializing and looking for her very own knight in shining Armani, Hell On Heels Girl is just trying to hair-flip her way to the top. You can watch her star as the queen of her own world on Twitter.
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. " -Anais Nin
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be
[NOTHING]
Less Than Perfect by: Chiara Mazzucco What should you do with society’s definition of perfection? Should you become a slave to their standards or should you turn off to them completely? With women constantly being bombarded with images of what it means to be perfect, is society to be blamed for dropping the bombs, or are you, as a woman, responsible for how you perceive them?
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Women have always sought out perfection; from shaping our tits, our hips and our asses to society’s standards of perfect, to literally having machines suck fat out of our bodies when the treadmill and a healthy diet aren’t enough. In the course of history, we have done some crazy things to achieve this presumed idea of perfection, so wouldn’t you think we’d all die happy? We’re slaves to a checklist handed to us by the media, ignorant and superficial loved ones, and the ideals we’ve created over time inside our heads. Fucking slaves. Here’s the problem with changing who you are, based on what you think the world around you thinks you should be: the definition of perfection is always changing. Perfection, as society puts it, is an everevolving concept and it will never stay the same. At one point, Marilyn Monroe’s size was considered perfect, a blink of an eye later and we’re fighting eating disorders triggered by stick thin runway models.
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It’s not so much that all of our culture’s standards are impossible to reach, the problem is they’re not all meant for us. As much as I would love to have bleach blonde hair, it give off the impression I was sick and look weird against my olive skin. I also can’t be a certain height because, well, my bones just don’t reach that high. There’s nothing I can do about it. Yes, I can get nipped and tucked and bleached and inserted with synthetic bones, but I’m fairly certain the outcome would be closer to Frankenstein’s twin sister than it would be to their idea of perfect.
The good news is: Society isn’t looking at you--you’re looking at you.
So how do we attain perfection? We redefine it. We take the very definition of society’s current standards of perfection and transform them to fit the needs of our ideal selves. We take perfection and shape it into personal goals we set forth, based on who we want to become, rather than who we think society wants us to be. Take the time to define the ideal version of you and set your standards high, because though society’s standards of perfection are hard to achieve, the ones you set for yourself are not. They are realistic because deep within, you know you can achieve them. Not only is your own set of
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The truth is, you will never be perfect - not by society’s standards. Because even if, for a point in time, you fit 9 out of 10 of the criteria, tomorrow may be different and you’ll only fit 3.
You can never base the definition of perfection on how the world describes it, because it changes over time. Remember when bras were pointy cones? Or back in the early days when a “healthy looking woman” was regarded as beautiful and artists made sculptures of them?
Realize you have the ability to tune out the pressure.
standards more worth pursuing because they’re more realistic, but they will also result in a happier you. Maybe a happier you isn’t a vegan yogi who fits a size 2; maybe you’re happy living a less disciplined lifestyle and devoting more time to writing, instead. If you set your definition of perfection to fit what would make the rest of the world happy, how are you so sure you’ll be happy too? On the flip side, you shouldn’t close yourself off to anything completely, because the opposite extreme could have equally damaging effects on who you expect yourself to become. When there is one strong voice in this world, there is a voice to counteract the opinion that’s just as loud. While on one hand we are bombarded by images of what women should look like, we are also hearing screams from the other side, which say we should not be affected at all and should ignore the messages from the media altogether.
But that’s just ridiculous. If that were the case, where would fashion be? Advertising and trends? Consumerism in general? The truth is, the world goes round based on this concept: you tell us what and how, and we will listen. Because even the rebels, the anarchists and the anticonformists follow some form of something - it’s just human nature.
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Don’t live in a world of denial and make yourself believe nothing around you has any effect on you; both extremes will lead to failure. Instead, open your eyes, be honest with yourself, and learn to absorb qualities you can apply to becoming the best version of you possible. Be selective with what you trust.
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Create your own definition of perfect.
Want to be perfect? Take action! There are a lot of qualities worth admiring in women in the media. Some have great skin and a great ass, while others boast an impressive resume and are hyperactive feminists. To say that what society considers perfect, or worthy of the limelight, is completely wrong would be off base. What you’re doing wrong is expecting to get her skin, her ass, and her impressive resume. There’s no way you can be her, you can only be a better version of you. This doesn’t have to be a New Year’s Resolution; you can take charge of reinvention whenever the mood strikes and truth be told, it’s important for women to stay on top of it.
Redefine perfection in these 6 steps: 1. Grab a journal. Devote it solely to self-improvement. There’s no need to get it mixed up with you bitching about your in-laws or how bad you want to punch your boss in the face. I know the concept of compartmentalizing your life sounds strange, but consider it a division of energy instead. 2. Pick your idols, not theirs. No matter what you say, you have them. When you take a step back, it's funny how you realize your idols aren’t all on the covers of mainstream magazines. Shaping
your definition of perfection based on the women you really admire, rather than who society tells you to admire, is a lot more realistic and will result in much more success. Why? Because you actually admire them and admiration is a natural human trait!
and make each goal that much more attainable. For example, if you know you get your best workouts in the morning, go to sleep an hour earlier and set the alarm early to fit that workout in.
3. Dissect your life into categories that make sense. You know what I’m talking about. Your health, looks, career, love life, what you do with your free time; list all the aspects of being you. The more specific you get, the easier it’ll be to envision your idea of the “perfect you” in those areas.
5. Forgive yourself. The problem with perfection (whether the standards are set forth by you or those around you), is that it sets an expectation on what needs to be achieved. Often times by then it’s easy to feel like you’ve failed if those expectations aren’t immediately met, or if you happen to sway a bit on your way there. Give yourself a hug, the race is only with yourself.
4. Make a plan and push yourself. Once you know where you’re going, write down the steps it will take to getting there and push yourself to make it happen. Don’t make excuses (since self-rationalization is so easy to do) and alter your life,
6. Push yourself again. Once you get back up, slap yourself on the ass and get back to moving. You didn’t set goals to reach the ideal version of yourself for nothing! Get to it! And every time you fall down, get back up with the exact same attitude.
Why? Because you’re doing this for you. You’re not doing this to fit their idea of perfect; you are gunning for the ideal version of yourself (and only you). Life is a journey of self-improvement, growth, and development. It’s a beautiful, windy path meant for you to walk forward on and explore. Redefining your idea of perfection and then making a beeline for it is part of loving yourself - because you deserve happiness. You have the power to change what you don’t like about your life, and accept yourself for the things you cannot change. Just don’t ever let them tell you who you need to be, because they’re just going to change their minds tomorrow anyway.■
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DON’T INVITE BRIDEZILLA by: Chrystal Rose
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! ©iStock.com/ CareyHope
GETTING MARRIED?
Hey there, Crazy. Yes you, the one freaking out about why the bridesmaid dresses you ordered are peach instead of apricot. Calm down and breathe. Do you remember what all this is for? This is your wedding day, and that crazy Bridezilla bitch you turned into? She’s not invited.
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Somewhere in between Tiffany’s and Pinterest women lost their heads over planning their weddings. Friendships get strained, the relationship itself suffers and Madame Bossypants reminds everyone over and over how it’s her big day. It’s not only unattractive--it can also be downright scary. This isn’t just your day, it’s his day too. So let’s take a step back and get this green, scaly version of you under control, shall we? Granted it’s summer and I probably missed all you spring brides, so I’m hoping you somehow got it together on your own.
REMIND YOURSELF IT’S A CELEBRATION A wedding is essentially a celebration of love between two people, where you invite others to take a peek into that love for just a day. A marriage can be performed at the town hall right? But you (and plenty of other women) don’t want that. You want the dress and the flowers, the fancy food and the dancing. Which is fine, you definitely deserve the whole ‘princess for a day’ shebang. Reminding yourself that this is a celebration should help you to relax a bit. So what if the cake falls over? So what if you trip on your dress or the bridesmaids dresses don’t perfectly match the linens? Your guests aren’t there to see that. They’re there to see two people in love, who are committing to spend the rest of their lives together. If you’re ranting like a psycho because the wrong centerpieces are on the table, that’s what they’ll see, and they might wonder if that’s how you’ll be in all the days following the wedding. You know, the days that are far more important than the actual wedding day?
REDEFINE PERFECTION I’m not sure when the wedding day became a day centered on perfection. Sure, maybe you’ve dreamed of this day since you were a little girl and want to make those dreams come true, but why does it need to be perfect?
Take a breath and ask yourself, “If something doesn’t go as planned, then what?” If the answer is anything remotely close to “EVERYTHING IS RUINED!!” then you need to sit and calm the eff down there little ‘Zilla. Most people won’t notice the little slipups and mishaps that you will. If you’ve put an extensive amount of time and effort into making it perfect, know that everyone else’s standards for the evening are probably much lower than yours.
YOUR CHECKLIST FOR PERFECTION SHOULD ONLY INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING POINTS:
☑ Our parents look happy ☑ Our guests look like they’re having a good time
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I’ve been able to kiss my groom more times than I can count after he was told to “kiss the bride”
☑ My groom is happy ☑ I’m happy GO EASY ON YOUR GIRLS Luckily, I’m not the kind of girl who is repeatedly asked to be a bridesmaid, but I know plenty whose closets could rival Katherine Heigl’s in 27 Dresses. Most of the time, these friends are miserable and it’s usually because of what the bride has requested of them. Being the bride does not entitle you to a group of minions. When you ask friends to be your bridesmaids, you’re essentially saying to them, “Hey, I love you and I need your support in this giant leap in life I’m about to take. Will you stand by my side and support me through it?” Their support should not be contingent on them having to spend an obnoxious amount
of money on a dress that looks awful on their body style, matching shoes because you like them (who cares if they can’t walk in heels? Suck it up bitch, it’s my day), and tolerance of your Jekyll & Hyde mood swings. They are there because they love you, so make sure you’re showing them that you love them back.
HE’S MARRYING YOU BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU Unless you’re having an arranged marriage or you’re his sugar mama, this man wants to be with you because you’re you, not because you have the prettiest wedding board on Pinterest or because your party planning skills are second to none. He’s the guy that thinks you’re gorgeous in sweat pants and a side pony, so whatever gown you choose, he will love it. He’s the guy who loves your heart, your soul, your face, your body, your hands… That’s what matters. At the end of the day (literally) it’s just the two of you and you should want him to feel like the day was about your love for each other, not your need to be queen for a day.
THE DAYS AFTER All in all, the wedding day itself doesn’t matter. Yeah I said it, it doesn’t matter. It’s just a day, a beautiful day to hold the memories in your heart, but what’s most important are the days that follow. Your wedding is the start of your married life, the lifetime you committed to another person. Have you been focusing so much on making the actual day perfect, that you haven’t thought of how to make your life perfect? Refocus on that and think to yourself: While I want the day to be perfect, my life with this person is far more important than the day itself. I’m truly lucky to have found a life partner. There’s no room for Bridezilla at the sweetheart table. That spot is reserved for you and your man only. Enjoy the day, enjoy your guests and be grateful that they came to share in the celebration with you. ■
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r u o Y e r a s l i c h e T D e c n e d n e p e d In Freedom from outside control
This summer we challenge you to claim your independence and boldly stand on your own two feet.
or support - that’s what independence is. We dare you to take this opportunity to be truly independent. There is no greater feeling than knowing you have your shit handled and that no matter what life throws your way, you’ll be just fine. Independence is one of the keys to confidence and success that nobody talks about. You see, without independence you always have a crutch, somebody there to pick up the pieces and save you. In theory that’s great, but in reality it cripples you from being the best possible you. When you lean on others you weaken your own muscles and we want you strong! So, it’s time to stand on your own two feet and declare your independence.
Financial Independence It’s a hard thing for a lot of young women to achieve with the college loans, car payments, and health insurance premiums, all while getting paid less than our penis-wielding peers. It’s more difficult, but it isn’t impossible. Financial independence means that your parents aren’t paying your cell phone bill, your car insurance, or your rent. It means that you aren’t holding out your hand and pouting at your boyfriend when you need a haircut or you want a new purse. Nope, none of that shit. What kind of badass would you be if you couldn’t afford a mani on your own?
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It may also mean that you’re in a one-bedroom apartment in a questionable location and eating ramen more than you’d like. Financial independence may just mean that you make sacrifices and go without, so your kid or pet can eat and your rent can get paid. Waiting for that pair of badass leather boots you’ve been drooling over sucks, but it’s a small price to pay for knowing that what you have is all your own. How to achieve it: This is the part that most people hate. You know that you want to be financially secure but when it comes to passing on drinks with the girls at the trendy (and expensive) new bar, nobody wants to make that sacrifice. It means shopping with coupons, resisting impulsive purchases, consolidating debts, and even getting a financial planner’s help. Track your income and spending, make a budget, and stick to it!
Professional Independence It’s rare that a person will get where they want to be in their career totally alone, and we don’t expect you to. What we do want you to do is have a job that you love, that empowers you and makes you want to grow and learn. We want you to do something
world changing, life enriching, and something that makes you jump out of bed every... well most… mornings. Professional independence means that you aren’t at a job because your family wants you to be and that you aren’t under the thumb of a boss who underappreciates you and ignores your input. It means not letting other people take credit for your ideas or allowing office rumors to get you down. When you have professional independence it means that you are steering your future and not settling for following others down paths you may not want to be on. Maybe it means owning your own business and working your ass off to make sure it stays afloatbelieve me it’s the hardest you’ll ever work but it will be worth it. Professional independence can be scary because it comes with a certain amount of risk, but it’s a risk with amazing rewards. How to achieve it: Speak up, stand up, and don’t be afraid to find something else. You’re either in a position where your creativity and brilliance is appreciated or you aren’t. If you aren’t, no amount of job security will fuel and fulfill you, so don’t be afraid to find a company or job that feels right. Be confident enough in your own ability and worth to take a leap of faith.
r e m Sum Emotional Independence Nothing is more important to a badass than emotional independence. Does this mean that you don’t love or let people in? No, it means that you own your emotions. Know that others don’t have the power to make you feel less than, or to hurt you, unless you allow them to. Easier said than done, I know, but emotional independence is accepting that you are in control of your own life, feelings and thoughts. Emotional independence also means that you don’t rely on other people for your happiness. This is where a lot of us fall flat - don’t worry we’re not judging you. When you depend on others for confidence, worth, or happiness you give away your power and your independence. Nobody in this life is going to love you, support you, and understand you as well as you understand yourself. You need to be your first source of selfesteem, confidence, and love. When you can harness that in yourself you are unstoppable, unshakable, and infinitely more successful. That, my friend, is what sets an Indie Chick apart from the rest of the pack. How to achieve it: Spend some time with yourself identifying all the qualities, characteristics, and skills that you are proud of. When you own these successes, you empower yourself. When you see that tangible list that encompasses all that is amazing about yourself and focus on that, you’re sure to surge ahead, confident. It also helps if you check in at TheIndieChicks.com every day for more badass reminders.
lous o p o t n e Za i l u J By
Independence is one of the sexiest qualities a woman can have. When you’re self-reliant you’re also confident. You don’t need a man, or anyone else for that matter, to save you. That’s a powerful aphrodisiac for a man to know that you choose to be with him, that you choose to lean on him at times, when you could just as easily do it on your own. You can still be a princess and be independent. You can be soft and gentle and still be fiercely self-reliant. It doesn’t make you cold, distant, or standoffish to stand on your own two feet. Being independent is a goal we should all strive for. When all else, and everyone else, fails you or falls away, you will always have yourself. Nobody is on this journey alone. We all have friends and family whom we love and rely on, that’s the beauty of this life. Keeping your independence in a ‘break in times of emergency’ case is a back up plan all Indie Chicks should have. Take this opportunity to claim your independence this summer. When everyone else is celebrating our freedom as a country, enjoy those fireworks and know that they’re for you, for your freedom, your fierceness, and your independence as well.■
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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[[
be MAGNETIC
How to Draw People in Based on What They Need by: Chiara Mazzucco
[44] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
[[
Being magnetic and drawing people in is something you aim for throughout the year and isn’t specific to any one season. Magnetism and charm are applicable in different areas of your life and keeping them at your fingertips when you need them most, plays a large role in your ability to get what you want and in turn, fuels your levels of confidence. Different people are drawn to different qualities, but it’s safe to say that certain universal traits do a better job of attracting people than some of the more specific ones do. Why? Because they directly target the needs of others. At the end of the day, being magnetic isn’t about you, it’s about attracting others by how you make them feel, and it’s important to make that distinction.
They crave your confidence like an energy source. If you want to draw people in, you need to radiate the kind of energy they admire and wish they had, because at the end of the day it’s just a game of monkey see, monkey do. And if you’re helping pull people out of their shells, what’s the harm?
So this summer, when you’re surrounded by people at beach parties or want to make a case for a promotion, consider the needs around you instead of focusing on yourself. Give the following tactics a go and watch your magnetism rise.
When the world comes crumbling down, do you always go to the same friend for help? Or are you quick to find a pattern in how people in your life deal with your needs? For example, I have a friend that I know will rarely show sympathy for my troubles. When I go to her, I know to expect harsh, solution-based advice, so if that’s not what I’m looking for, I go elsewhere. Sometimes people just need to word vomit all over you, and other times they need help solving a problem. In order to become a resource for strength and support, you have to learn to listen to the needs of others. When you learn to listen, you gain their loyalty. Some friends don’t need to huddle around a bonfire to discuss a breakup, they just need to be put in a dress and heels and taken out for a night on the town. If you genuinely listen to their needs, you can provide an escape and be exactly what they need.
Smile and Guide the Unspoken Interaction Smiling invites people in. It gives the illusion that you’re warm and welcoming and that you’re generally a kind, compassionate individual. But why is that so important for people? Why are people drawn to that more than they are the inaccessible? Because at the end of the day, we all want to be ‘welcomed.’ We want social interaction to flow smoothly and we want others to accept us for who we are. Though it’s all an interpretation of the subconscious, it still works and it always draws people in.
Be Sure of Yourself When you go to a party and worry that everyone is watching or judging you, everyone else is worrying about the same thing. There are only a handful of people whose energy stands out and those people end up being the beacons of light that everyone else congregates around.
Learn to Listen
Set a Good Example Much like being a beacon of confidence, people are constantly looking to be inspired and brought closer to the best version of themselves, even if they don’t know it. They are automatically drawn to someone who is either living the life they dream of, or carry certain qualities they aim to have. This is
amplified when you’re doing something good, because people have the tendency to be drawn to positivity. When you display those qualities, you’ll pull people in.
Know When to Challenge Due to the fact we’re natural people pleasers, it’s rare to come across someone who knows when to call you on your bullshit. If you become someone who knows when to challenge and when to push them out of their comfort zone, they will be drawn in because they don’t find that in their usual crowd of people pleasers. Even though we crave homeostasis on a conscious level, there’s an innate desire to be challenged and if you provide that, they will be drawn in when that desire kicks in. Just make sure to find a balance because people don’t want to live in a constant battle with themselves, and you being a reflection of that doesn’t add to your likeability.
Be Different (and Mysterious) People are so used to seeing the same crap that it’s easy to get clumped into a sea of faceless identities. When you meet someone special and you lock eyes, you always think: There’s something different about you. Why is that? We are drawn to the unexplored because we are naturally curious beings. Stand out and draw them in with intrigue. When you make them wonder, they’ll naturally be drawn to you in search of answers. — Yes, there’s a bit of psychological manipulation within these tactics, but it’s more a win-win without any malicious intent. You’re not seeking out vulnerable weaklings and taking advantage of their voids, you’re finding a need and offering a solution, while simultaneously feeding your self-worth. Life is a game of push and pull, and despite the emphasis we put on individual growth, social interactions and our place within a community, play as much of a role in our path of self-discovery and more ego-focused topics. If you’re looking to draw more people in, whether it be in the workplace or other social settings, try turning the focus outward and realize that their needs matter more than your qualities do.■
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
[45]
+Meet Our [Cover Girl]
Q&A {
Samii Ryan
We stumbled across the drop dead gorgeous, multitalented Samii Ryan after someone suggested her to us, and we are so glad we took a look. She’s ambitious and a little edgy, with a heart of gold. At only 22, she’s doing big things and what we love most is that she radiates the same kind of motivation and inspiration to her followers, on a daily basis.
[46] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
Q
How did you get started in what you’re doing? What were some challenges you faced?
I started my accessory line, By Samii Ryan, right after I graduated high school in 2009. I started sending the products out to some girls in bands and then sent them out to Ke$ha and Victoria Justice. They really started repping my pieces and it took off from there. I had Nordstrom email me and ask to carry my line and I have been working with them for a couple of years now! The struggle with all that was at the time I was 19 years old, trying to run a small company that a nationwide department store wanted to carry. I mean, it is not a bad problem to have, but it was certainly an obstacle I overcame. With blogging, I always write out my feelings and what I’m doing. I feel like it helps a lot with anything I’m going through. In 7th grade, I blogged using Xanga. I used to write some pretty intense personal stuff online until my family saw my blog
photo by Anthony Marcano
“Never let your fear decide your fate.”
and I had to delete it - haha. Buzznet/Spinmedia called me in 2010 to start being a Buzzmaker and superblogger for the platform. With them, I have interviewed a bunch of bands, and worked with companies such as Chapstick, Redbull, Tarte Cosmetics, Too Faced, Anastasia Beverly Hills, Glamour Kills and so many more. They helped me get a lot of opportunities and I’m really grateful for them! I started my personal style blog, What She Wore, with my friend Hanna Beth last February. I live on the East Coast and Hanna lives on the West Coast, so we both have a unique following and thought it would be a cool idea to post our daily outfits!
Q
What’s the message you’re trying to send to the girls who look up to you? NEVER GIVE UP. No matter what you are going through and what the obstacles are, if you can dream it you can do it. Life is such an easy concept. You can’t imagine things that do not exist in the universe, so anything you imagine or dream about, can come true! Hard work and determination can take you so far.
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
[47]
Q Q
How do you relax and shut out the noise?
I LOVE being busy! It drives me crazy when I have absolutely nothing to do. I relax by working out and taking yoga. I love, love, love having a little sister that is also my best friend because we can relax together. We chat, drink wine and let it all out!
What advice do you have for girls wanting to achieve their dreams?
"The best advice I have ever gotten is that I can do anything I want to, and as long as I believe that, I will be successful." photo by Jill Franz
Q
What keeps you grounded/humble?
I had to work for everything I have in my life. I didn’t come from a rich family. No one helped me live my dreams besides myself. I have been through hell and back. I could have picked such a bad path for myself had I just given up and believed that I couldn’t do anything else. But instead, I take all the bad that has happened in my life and turn it into good. I am grateful for the bad things that have happened to me, because they shaped me into the person I am today. I am a strong, independent, hard working, driven female and nothing is going to stop me on my road to success.
Q
What’s your workout routine?
I have always been a very active person. I practiced Tae Kwon Do for 12 years and traveled around the country competing in competitions every weekend. I competed in the Jr Olympics for 5 years when I was super competitive. I also played soccer and was a cheerleader in high school. Now that I am out of high school, I eat healthy and try to work out at least 4-5 days a week. I love taking yoga and toning classes. Another thing that has helped me is the fact I eliminated dairy from my diet because I am lactose intolerant. That helped a lot!
Q
What’s your best date night ever?
My best date night ever is walking around NYC hand in hand, going to a bomb sushi restaurant, having drinks and amazing conversation. I love a guy who is forward with me, driven, successful, and knows what he wants out of life. I love a guy who can be affectionate around me in front of his friends.
[48] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
DREAM, DREAM, DREAM! One thing I tell a lot of people to do is make a dream board in their room. Write down every dream you ever imagined for yourself. It could be to have a great body, to get a certain pair of Christian Louboutin’s, to fall in love, to be famous, etc. etc. As long as you write out all the things you want to accomplish in life and be thankful and grateful for everything you already have in your life, the possibilities are endless. You will be successful.
Q
How do you embrace your inner badass?
I embrace my inner badass mostly by getting tattoos. As you can tell, I have a lot of ink and I love art. Not only am I getting tattoos, but I am also expressing myself. I also think it is badass to be a spiritual person. I was raised in a different environment regarding spirituality and my mind is an open book. I love reading tarot cards, oracles, and I am completely obsessed with horoscopes and astrology.
Q
Are there any strong women you look up to and admire?
I love the Olsen twins. Obviously, I grew up watching them on Full House and had every single one of their VHS tapes. I just love how they took every single marketing avenue they could and now have a couple of huge high-end fashion lines, in which they dress the First Lady. They are so powerful and inspirational. I also love the fact that they are not on social media, even though I could never give up my social networks. I love that you don’t hear anything bad about them. They are killing it as young successful businesswomen and that is definitely something to look up to.
Q
Where do you hope this journey takes you? What is your ultimate dream?
I know exactly where my journey is going and I know the path that I am ultimately on. I have been working on a huge project for the past year and I know it is going to make a HUGE impact on my life. I can’t say anything about it now, but I know that it’s going to be amazing. My ultimate dream is to have my accessory line, By Samii Ryan, into 800 department stores worldwide and to be able to help young girls. I want them to know that ANY situation or curveball life throws your way, you can create your own destiny and you can live the life you want to live.
Q
What’s next for you?
A lot of amazing things are in the works with me! I am meeting with Inked Magazine, which should be awesome. Doing a collaboration with The Mountain and working with a ton of brands such as Tarte Cosmetics, Anastasia Beverly Hills and many more. Who’s to say what my life will look like in 6 months?
Q
You’re officially an Indie Chick now, what does being an Indie Chick mean to you?
WOO! Being an Indie Chick means that I am strong, independent and driven, and I am able to surpass any obstacle that comes my way in order to reach my dreams.■
"I have been through hell and back. I could have picked such a bad path for myself had I just given up and believed that I couldn’t do anything else."
Instagram: samiiryan Twitter: @samiiryan Facebook: bysamiiryan YouTube: samiidarling Website: bysamiiryan.com
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
photo by Anthony Marcano
FOLLOW SAMII
[49]
Beauty & Style
This Summer’s BEST
BEAUTY
{
{
Summer beauty isn’t just about looking great, it’s also about protecting your skin and reducing signs of aging. Get the glow without any of the wrinkles and learn what The Indie Chick team simply can’t live without this summer.
PRODUCTS by:Julie Zantopoulos
[50] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
*All recommended products are cruelty free unless otherwise specified.
If you’re anything like me, you love being outside and enjoying the summer months. That means time by the pool, runs, hikes, and trips to the beach. It can also mean knotted hair, sunburn, and mascara running down your face. There is a way to enjoy the great outdoors and still look smoking hot, not soggy.
GOODBYE SHINE There is a difference between looking dewy and sun kissed and looking like a sweaty hot mess. Investing in a mattifying pressed or blotting powder is a must for keeping the high shine areas of your face under control.
PROTECT YOUR PUCKER
Recommendation: NYX Stay Matte But Not Flat Foundation $9.50 or Matte Blotting Papers from $4-6. (There are high-end versions, but why waste money when these work so well?)
have to contour your cheek bones, you can use a large fluffy brush and add this warmth to your temples and cheeks using a number 3 or letter E sweeping motion on your face.
Your lips can end up sun burnt, chapped, and peeling from the sun, the salt air, or just general dryness as you’re out and about and maybe drinking more alcohol than water. Be sure to use a lip product with SPF in it!
Recommendations: Too Faced Chocolate Soleil Matte Bronzer $30 or Physicians Formula Bronze Booster Pressed Powder $15.
PEACHY PASSION Summer is the time for that beautiful peach flush to your cheeks. The golden tones of bronzer and sun kissed cheeks really lend themselves to an orange or peach blush. There are tons of ways to incorporate it but I much prefer the peach on the cheek than the lips.
Recommendations: 100% Pure Everywhere Sun Stick SPF 30 $16 or ELF moisturizing mineral lip tint SPF 8 $3
KILLER DO MOISTURIZER Moisturizer is not just a winter skin product; you need it year round for hydrated, wrinkle rejecting skin. For the summer months it’s especially important to have SPF in your moisturizer since some days you’ll probably skip the makeup and only use that. Freckles are adorable but skin damage isn’t, so use it. Recommendations: Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Moisturizer SPF 30 $21 or Burt’s Bees Radiance 7 SPF Day Lotion $18
BB CREAM Summer is all about lightweight and SPF so when you want the best of both worlds you go for a BB cream. This is a light, but sometimes buildable foundation with SPF included. Can you say time saver? Recommendations: Tarte BB Cream from $32-36 or ELF Studio Flawless Finish Foundation $6
Your hair gets beat to hell in the summer between salty ocean air and water, pool chlorine, color treatment (if you dye), hair bands, sweat, and being insanely wind swept (hello convertible). Use an SPF hair protectant and you’re ahead of the game. Recommendations: Phyto Plage Protectant Beach Spray $22 or Frizz Ease Thermal Protection Serum around $10
HIGHLIGHTS We’re not talking just hair here, we’re talking about highlighters for your face as well. For the summer months we like a more golden toned highlighter as opposed to a yellow or pearl tone. The golden highlighter will look glowing and gorgeous with your tan skin. Recommendations: Stila’s Stay All Day Bronzing Beauty Balm with SPF 30 $38. (This looks great mixed with your foundation.)* Hard Candy So Baked Bronzer in Hula Hula $9 does too, and is definitely more highlighter than bronzer!
BRONZED GODDESS If you follow our suggestions and use sunscreen on your face, the way you know you should, then you will have to add a little bit of warmth to your face with makeup. Using bronzer doesn’t mean having sharp orange lines under your cheekbones though; it should mean that you have a warmth about your face. It also doesn’t mean that you
Recommendations: The Balm in Fratboy $21 or Milani’s Blush in Luminoso $8.
LIQUID PROOF LASHES One of the easiest ways to open up your eyes and enhance your peepers is to apply a coat or two of mascara, but sweating or diving into the water can you leave you looking like a raccoon. Not only will waterproof mascara keep your eyes looking great all day but it also helps stubbornly straight lashes hold a curl. Win/win. Recommendations: Tarte Lights Camera Splashes $19 or Physician’s Formula Aqua Wear Mascara $5.50
No matter what your go to look is on a daily basis there are ways to add a summer glow without adding too much time to your routine. Invest in the products we talked about and you’ll look like a sun bronzed goddess all while protecting your skin from early aging, and that is very badass!■
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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$ ADVERTISE WITH US!
We are looking to create and foster mutually beneficial relationships with quality brands to help them grow. Our ability to cross-promote and combine our multiple media platforms allows us to create advertising packages that will maximize your exposure. We have the ability to custom tailor your advertising experience and won’t represent your direct competition. You can rest assured that your brand won’t get lost in a crowd and that it will get the support it deserves. advertising@theindiechicks.com theindiechicks.com/advertising-and-collaborations
[52] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM THEINDIECHICKS.COM
5
Summer Styles we love by: Cortney Dryden
1.
A floral midi is my go-to for Summer and after not being able to find the perfect one, I designed this one myself! Skirt: The Girl That Loves $89. Tank: H&M $5. Jacket: American Eagle $35. Shoes: Target $30. Bag: Kate Spade $150.
3.
Black and white with a pop of pink is my favorite color combination and this flirty silhouette is perfect for a twirling on the dance floor. Dress: Choies $41. Clutch: Francesca’s $30. Shoes: Lulu’s $20.
@CortneyDryden Working for a NASCAR team, Cortney began CortInSession.com out of a desperate need to have a place to be completely girly. Her career and spare time is spent taking in local and national racing while her closet full of heels and pink sat unworn. Additionally, She wanted to show young women that you can be it all, the career woman, the sports junkie, and the girly girl--and you can do it on a budget.
2.
I never let a rainy day dampen my style! Instead, I play it up with nautical touches. Sweater: Old Navy $10. Skirt: Forever 21 $20. Boots: Hunter $140. Bag: Kate Spade $348
4.
A solid, swingy dress is easily dressed up for night or down for day. Dress: H&M $30. Scarf: Shawlsmith London $48. Shoes: Target $30. Bag: Kate Spade $350.
5.
Pairing a dropwaist skirt and sweatshirt creates the ideal canvas for playing up your accessories. Sweater: H&M $24. Skirt: Forever 21 $15. Hat: Wet Seal $14. Shoes: Steve Madden $40. Bag: Kate Spade THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE$150. CHICK
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by: Janny Molina
[
[
Summer BEAUTY TRENDS
This summer’s fashion trends are just one part of the change in season, and as our wardrobes change so do our hairstyles and beauty looks. Get ready to see bright, optimistic summer lipsticks to dark kohl lined eyes, from the retro to the grunge. Yes, this year’s summer trends also include grunge! I was pretty shocked myself, but I love it!
[54] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
Orchids, lilacs, and lavenders: the perfect combos to play with when you don’t want to abandon summer, but need a little rebellion in your life!
Alternative Cat-Eye
It’s a certainty that the cat-eye is a part of nearly every woman’s makeup routine. For summer 2014 there is a slight change - it gets taken to a whole new level. Forget the traditional way of doing things; summer is all about the alternative cat eye. From blue to red eyeliner, anything is possible this season.
Golden Glow SKIN, SKIN, SKIN is in this season. Gorgeous, healthy looking skin with a beautiful glow is what you will be looking at this year. Coconut oil and coconut milk have been the most sought after ways to moisturize your skin and what better way than with an all-natural skin regimen. Add a highlight to the top of your cheekbones for a beautiful glow and you’re ready to go.
Smokey Grunge Eye The smokey eye is back but with a twist this time, and it will be staying around for some time as it is loved by many. The smokey eye doesn’t necessarily have to involve masses of eye shadow and hours of blending. Sticking mostly to the lower lash line and smoking it out will give you that grunge look that is so in this season.
Purples
Beautiful Skin & Lips
Orchids, lilacs, and lavenders seem to have made a hard impact on this year's trends. They will be one of the sought out hottest makeup looks this season. Whether you apply a purple lipstick for a color pop or a beautiful smoked out purple eye shadow, you are sure to make a beautiful statement.
Orange Lips Forget about your ordinary regular lipstick routine, bold is beautiful when it comes to the new season. From poppy red, tangerine orange, or coral orange lips, this particular spectrum is on fire for summer 2014. Go for an all-natural soft look with a splash of orange for the perfect color pop.
White Liner The biggest come back in makeup has to be the white liner. It was a big hit in the 90’s and now it’s making its way back for this summer. Whether you line your top or your waterline you will make a beautiful statement. But don’t forget that if you add white to the waterline, it adds an amazing pop to the eyes and makes your eyes appear bigger. It’s fresh and fun!
Yes, we all want to look flawless and beautiful with our brows, makeup and gorgeous lipsticks, but to have that we must first make sure that our skin and lips are in top shape. Exfoliate your skin and lips twice a week to make sure all your dead cells and impurities have left the skin. Make sure you moisturize your skin daily to keep it hydrated and nourished. An SPF moisturizer will be the best for your skin to moisturize while protecting from the summer sun.
Glitter Eye Make-Up Yes you read that right - GLITTER. The alternative cat-eye makes this year’s makeup trend a statement, but it’s left to the glitter eye makeup to be the ultimate statement of modern luxury. Both fit with what summer 2014 beauty is all about: attention on the eyes.
@PrideMakeUp
Bare Face & Lashes One of the biggest trends this year in fashion is LASHES and a gorgeous bare face. Ironically it’s little or no makeup at all for this summer. Some may say it’s contradictory, but bare to little makeup makes for a beautiful statement. It’s also the sought out daily look for most women this season.
Brows Brows frame your face, are the most important feature of your makeup routine and can make or a break a look. Beautifully sculpted, clean and thick brows are the big thing this season.
Janny is best known for her creative versatility enabling a seamless progression from captivating raw beauty to directional high-end editorials. Her ability to translate her client’s specific desired looks stems from her dedication and innate ability to listen, visualize and translate these ideas onto the human canvas. Janny was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY but now resides outside of Charlotte, NC where she owns her own makeup studio. Jannymua.com
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
[55]
HOT HAIR STYLES
TO ROCK THIS
SUMMER Style 1
The “Bubble Bouffant ” Pony
by:
When it comes to summertime hair, wearing it down is usually not an option. The weather tends to make it go too crazy for anything sleek but ponytails can get pretty boring. Here are a couple of fun, beautiful options that you can wear day or night— without worrying about it getting messed up.
STEP 3. STEP 1.
If you do not have natural curl to your hair, put a few waves with a 1 ¼” curling iron.
STEP 2. Backcomb the entire head to get massive volume for your pony. Smooth out the top layer just enough to cover the tease you just put into your hair. Make sure not to comb too much so you do not take out the base for your pony.
[56] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
Bring hair over to one side. If you have a side part, I always like to bring it to the side your fringe is going to. It's completely up to you which side you bring it to. Secure hair with an elastic and take hair from under the elastic and pull apart to slide the elastic up the hair and give it a “bubble” effect. Take a small strand of hair and wrap around the elastic and hold it in place with a bobby pin. how big you want your STEP 4. Decide next “bubble” to be and loosely
secure the next section with an elastic. Take hair from that middle section and start to gently pull outwards to puff that section out.
STEP 5. Spray hair and pin to touch up any loose or stubborn hairs.
└
NEW SUMMER COLOR TREND ALERT!
STEP 1. Gather hair to whichever side you prefer your braid to be on. Split hair in 2 sections and take a small strand from underneath the section on the right and add it to the section on the left. Take a small strand from underneath the section on the left and add it to the section on the right. Continue these steps until you run out of hair at the bottom. Secure with an elastic.
Style 2
{
“THE SOMBRE”
Out with the dramatic dark to platinum and in with the natural, sun-kissed glow transition. The Sombre is a very smooth and natural ombre transition from darker to lighter towards the ends.
Bohemian Fishtail Braid STEP 2.
Starting at the top, gently pull each side to loosen up the braid.
STEP 3.
Spray and pin any strays
DO MORE!
└
Go from a casual look to a dressy look simply by loosening up the braid and rolling it all up into a bun secured with bobby pins.
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Summer Workout Styles hardninety.com
If you’re going to work out, you might as well look cute while you’re doing it. Well, I take that back. It’s hard to look cute if you’re huffing and puffing—but you might as well dress cute. Instead of giving you the same old “big brands” that you’re practically being brainwashed to wear, we’ve found some amazing brands that are not only high quality—but both cute and affordable!
by: Chrystal Rose
us.webstore.mpgsport.com
MPG]
HARD NINETY
This fun brand has super comfy gear that you’ll want to wear outside the gym too!
MY PICKS Sports Bra $27.90 A comfortable compression bra that doesn’t give you that over the top uniboob that most tend to do. Cotton Spandex Leggings $24.90 These have become my go-tos and you really can’t beat the price!
MY FAVE! Unisex Flex Fleece Zip Hoodie $39.90 I loooove this hoodie and wear it everywhere. It’s so comfortable and comes in 9 different colors.
[58] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
I love, love, love this brand. Their gear is stylish, incredibly high quality and I love how their website is not only divided by the type of garment but by sport as well.
feelfitwear.com
FEELFITWEAR This is such an awesome brand. Their gear is trendy, comfortable and high quality. It’s the perfect blend of function and fashion!
MY PICKS
Sports Bras Low-mid $30s
MY PICKS
Their sports bras come in a variety of styles and colors and are really affordable.
Avert Legging $54
Available in Black, Heather Charcoal and Pink Petal, these leggings are cute, comfortable and comes with a “cut-tolength triple seam hem” for those that don’t need as much length. (Genius!)
MY FAVE!
Olinda Fitness Tank $43.99 And Psst! Go check out their Felicity tank for amazing comfort and length! $32
Sports Bras $20-$54
These guys have bras for everything. The Seamless Bralet is perfect for yoga and I love the back detail on the Exuberant. The Maneuver is comfortable and has adjustable straps and the Accomplish has excellent coverage and while it’s great for high impact—it’s also very stylish.
Complete with a shelf bra for extra support, and a cute cutout that shows off your back, this tank is soft, smooth and feels simply amazing.
MY FAVE!
Lucilene Fitness Capri $72.99 These things not only feel great on, but they also make your butt look awesome. These capris get extra love because they are complete with their CompressionFlex® technology which keeps everything in, nice and tight. LOVE them!
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Health & Fitness
There are so many things you can miss out on by being judgmental. An amazing man, an amazing friendship —- but what about an amazing body? What if, because of a social stigma, you’ve allowed your judgment to get in the way of an amazing fitness routine that could transform your life?
[60] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
©iStock.com/ chaoss
!
POLE FITNESS
{
the best alternative
}
Workout
I
couldn’t help but roll my eyes when my friend went off on a tirade about how all the “yuppie women” in her fitness group wouldn’t be down to try pole fitness because of the whole “stripper stigma.”
by: Chrystal Rose
THE JUDGMENT: POLE FITNESS IS PRETTY MUCH STRIPPING
This actually always makes me laugh. The studio isn’t crawling with strippers and no one is ever dancing around with pasties or nipple tassels. There also aren’t men with their tongues wagging, stuffing dollar bills into G-strings. (For the record, no one is wearing “Of course, I don’t think that!” She those either.) went on. Again, I rolled my eyes. She had called to ask if I knew anyone who Yes, most strip clubs have a pole in owned a workout space and I quickly them but that’s pretty much where offered up my friend’s pole fitness the similarities end. For those of studio. That’s when she bumbled you who don’t frequent strip clubs, into her explanation that it wouldn’t most strippers do very basic, sexual be quite appropriate for her group of movements on the pole (because women. let’s be honest it doesn’t take much to get a man going). It’s also pretty The first time I tried pole fitness I rare you’ll see a full-blown pole didn’t feel sexy, I wasn’t strong, and routine. I wore baggy shorts and a tee shirt to hide the chubbiness I was so insecure The majority of pole studios don’t about. I knew I needed an alternative allow men. They want women to to the gym and traditional workout feel comfortable working out. The routines and had tried lots of things, so only point I’ve ever taken off my I was willing to give this a try. clothes in the studio is going from
wearing my sweatpants in the warm up to shorts afterwards.
THE EXCUSES It’s easy to come up with excuses not to try something new. These are the ones I regularly hear about pole fitness:
EXCUSE 1: I’M JUST NOT VERY SEXY OR SEXUAL PERSON Am I missing something? This isn’t a sex class. Sure there are some sensual movements that go along with it, but no one will force you to do them. Those movements are really there to assist in the transition from one movement to another while still looking graceful. When I first started in pole, my confidence had previously been shattered. I didn’t feel sexy at all. I laughed at myself every time I did a sensual move or a hair flip. It took some time, but the studio provided a safe place for me to build back my confidence and allow myself to do those sensual moves without feeling stupid.
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EXCUSE 2: I’M NOT STRONG ENOUGH
morning—you’ll be a believer. Who doesn’t want to feel like they’re not really working out, while they really are working out?
No kidding. If you don’t work out and then suddenly tried to lift a 200lb barbell you probably couldn’t, at least not without hurting THE PERKS yourself. Pole fitness is a fitness program. Just like you wouldn’t dive into a fitness routine FAST RESULTS and lift crazy heavy weights on day one, you wouldn’t do that in pole either. My first ever month and a half doing pole fitness I lost 11.5 pounds. Last year when Most studios help you to build up your strength I returned to it, after only 4 weeks, my and don’t expect you to be hanging upside down weight stayed the same but I experienced a in your first class or even several in. Besides pole considerable amount of fat loss. work, a warm up and after workout is provided, where your muscles can begin to build strength, While you may get some cardio in your pole especially your upper body and core. workouts, you’re building muscle, which assists with the burning of fat. While not everyone will have the exact same results, EXCUSE 3: I WON'T BE ANY GOOD most people I work out with have seen How often do you find that someone is noticeable changes after just a month of just naturally good at something? Just like going at least 3 times a week. everything else, it’s a skill you’ll need to learn. Your first day they aren’t going to throw CONFIDENCE BOOST you in an advanced class or expect you to be competition ready! Not feeling sexy but want to? Why not let it rip in the studio? It’s amazing to be Most studios have different levels of classes and surrounded by so many other women of all are small enough that when a class is mixed, shapes and sizes not afraid to run around the instructor can assist each person on their in short shorts and a sports bra. Despite individual level. people outside turning up their noses, these women won’t judge you and it’s such an EXCUSE 4: I DON’T SEE HOW POLE DANCING incredibly safe place to let that inner sex kitten come out and play—if you want to. IS EVEN A WORKOUT You don’t have to see it, but there’s a reason why it’s called pole fitness. Just attend even the most basic of classes and when you wake up the next
LEARNING IS ADDICTIVE, MOTIVATING, AND FUN The thing I love most about pole fitness is that there are so many spins, poses, inverts and climbs to learn and so many variations of each. Learning new things becomes addictive, and it’s that addiction that keeps you coming back and working out. Maybe there’s that one move you’re trying to perfect. Maybe once you get that move down there’s another move you want to learn, and another. The fact that you are learning a new skill will keep you coming back and keep you from getting bored.
[62] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
-If you can put your excuses and judge-y pants away, you’ll be able to see and maybe even reap all the awesome benefits of this alternative fitness practice. ■
Pole photo ©iStock.com/ chaoss
{
The strength you get from doing Polefit is real. But don’t worry, you’re not expected to walk in ready to hold yourself up like this. Most studios will help you work on your strength in addition to what you get from the pole work!
It’s also almost impossible to not have any fun while you’re there. There will be plenty of days where you don’t feel like getting up and dragging your ass to the gym but if you’re having fun, it doesn’t feel like you’re working out and you’re likely to keep coming back.
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SHINE with the SUN
by Eliza Shirazi
While everyone is taking part in the annual summer marathons, swimming, water skiing and surfing, your sport of choice may be sippin’ on gin and juice with your mind on the margaritas and the margaritas on your mind. I feel you. There is nothing more important than having a relaxing day in the sun, but to balance it out here are some mini-shots of fitness that will leave you feeling just as energized and confident. These exercises simply follow the sun because isn’t that what we’re chasing all summer anyways? As you go through this, listen to your body while also challenging yourself at moments you know you can. Okay, now place the magazine by your side and I will be here guiding you into a powerful series that will leave you glowing with sweat.
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BEFORE the sun rises There is nothing more peaceful than getting onto a mat before the sun comes up. Sure it takes a lot of effort to get your ass out of your warm covers and wipe the smeared makeup off of your face, but it’s so worth it. These moves are for joint mobility and body awareness, waking you up and setting the tone for your day.
[Cobra Push-Ups]
[These will work your triceps. Try doing 5 repetitions and come into child’s pose. Repeat for 5 sets. B) By pushing with your palms, lift your upper body and keep soft elbows when you get to the top. Then, lower back down with those elbows spun back.
A) Lie on your stomach and place your hands on your mat right by your chest. If your boobs get in the way use your hands to prop you up a little. Take note of where your elbows are and adjust them so they are facing directly behind you and are close to your body.
[Down Dog to Plank]
[ This will stretch your back, arms, and hamstrings. Do 10 reps for 3 sets. To modify, put your knees down while you are in plank, this modified move is known as tabletop.
A) To do down dog, come into a forward fold with your hands reaching down towards your toes. Place your palms flat on the ground and then begin to walk your feet back into down dog. Knees can be slightly bent with your feet hip width apart. Be sure to keep your gaze past your belly button.
B) From down dog, gently glide out into a plank. As you do this, lower your hips and have your shoulders stand right over your wrists. Make sure your core is engaged and then slowly push back to down dog.
WHEN the sun rises Usually it’s in the middle of my day of relaxation that I feel like I need a little ‘umph,’ but who wants to break from their favorite book or dip in the ocean to work out? Uh, no one! It’s going to take your inner badass to motivate you to add a healthy dose of exercise, and intervals are great because they are short-but powerful.
[High Knee Intervals] Start in a standing position and begin to do high knee runs in place for 20 seconds on and 10 seconds off. Repeat this 8 times. To advance this move, bring your arms up over your head. TOOT TOOT ALERT! Make sure you open your mouth and breathe during these or you may find all that air coming out the other end.
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WHEN the sun rises (cont’d) [Star Jump Intervals] Standing with your feet hip width apart squat low and keep the weight in your heels. Take a big inhale and as you exhale power up so your arms are spread wide and your legs do a lateral (side) raise, making you look like a star.
@KickItByEliza Eliza Shirazi is the founder of the fitness brand, Kick It By Eliza. With her extensive dance career, Public Health and Communication degrees, she empowers communities through movement and music. From Boston, MA, this fitness pioneer is spreading her love for health internationally! KickItByEliza.com
Do this for 20 seconds on and 10 seconds off 8 times.
AS THE SUN goes down The sun never sets on a badass, but you have to earn that title. These moves are perfect for when the temperature starts to drop so you can push yourself to your sweaty limits. You weren’t looking good in that bikini all day from just laying there, so let’s burn it down with the sun.
[Decoys] Stand with your feet slightly wider than hip width apart. In 1 move jump up with both of your feet up and turn 180 degrees –that is 1 decoy. Repeat by doing this jumpturn 15 times for two sets. This big bang move is meant to build your endurance and leave you feeling breathless.
[Kick Lunges] Standing with your feet hip width apart raise your right foot up and kick it out. Make sure your foot is flexed and you slightly lean back. The emphasis here is not on the height of the kick, but the power. Then quickly take the same foot and bring it behind you for a long lunge. Repeat 20 times on the right leg and 20 times on the left.
All of these moves are meant to challenge your body while giving you a healthy sweat –key word healthy! It is vital that during these summer months you find a balance between loving and criticizing your body. As females we are told that we need to fit this certain mold, but we are not cookie cutter women. As Indie Chicks we shatter those unrealistic expectations of having to all be perfectly thin, gallivanting on the beach in a thong bikini. Whether you are in that thong all sleek and slender, or round, flat, jiggly, muscular and strong, celebrate what you have… just by doing that, you will shine with the sun.
[66] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
Finding Your
[Zen] By Ashley Sapp
T
hink of your center as your body’s engine, the piece of you that needs to be maintained and taken care of in order for the rest of you to function properly. Being centered isn’t as much about religion or spirituality as it is about finding a balance and peace within yourself in order to be the very best you that you can be. When I say it is time to find your Zen, it could mean any number of things. Basically, it’s about discovering what keeps you calm, what you consider to be peaceful, and the end result depends on the individual. Why is this important? In our fast-paced world, most of our days are cluttered with to-do lists, stress, conversations, obligations, anxiety, and the various roles within our lives. You fulfill more than one, whether you are a daughter, a wife, a mother, an employee, or a boss. It is human nature to be in the process of doing, but what about the essential calm that keeps us steady? We tend to forget ourselves, neglecting to take care of our mental wellbeing. This is what your Zen is all about.
}
Acceptance. You would be amazed with how often we may be going about our lives, in constant motion, fulfilling roles because we feel obligated. However, this does not always equate acceptance of who we are as individuals. Giving credence to who we are at our cores, stripped away of responsibility and roles, offers strength in moving forward. Sometimes, the smallest moment of remembering our inner badass, propels us into even the most difficult situations and endeavors with our heads held high, feeling as though we can take on anything. Because you are who you are; therefore, you are strong and capable.
Quiet. All it takes is ten minutes – clear your mind of thoughts and tasks and then focus
on the quiet. Peace with yourself and your mind is not a weak process, but rather it is the building block to everything else you take on each day. Mental loops of worry can wear us down, so simply making time to clear everything away and focus on your breathing provides inner ease. Breathe in peace. Breathe out stress.
Positivity. This includes the people you surround yourself with. Just as though certain situations can affect you negatively, the same can be said for the company you keep. If you notice that someone doesn’t have your best interests at heart, is not supportive of you and your endeavors, and doesn’t appear to care for or respect you, then it’s time to let them go and move on. Toxicity will cling to you for as long as you allow it.
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}
In committing to take care of yourself, you will inevitably find a calmness that will give you confidence and strength.
you’re already at a disadvantage and no one else can pull you up in quite the same way that you can.
Exercise. Your mental health is linked to your physical health, so taking care of your body in turn helps take care of your mind. The inner peace you are hoping for can often come about through exercise. Try a juice fast, go for a run or walk, take a yoga class, or look up athome workouts on Pinterest. Simply doing a couple sets of sit-ups each morning will help revitalize how you feel about yourself, aid in clearing your thoughts, and jumpstart your day with enthusiasm.
Give. How we treat others often reflects back on how we treat and feel about ourselves. Whether you offer a listening ear to a friend while meeting up for coffee or you volunteer time at a local charity, the act of giving can provide you with a healthier state of mind.
Expectations.
Listen.
How often do things go differently than you planned, and thus throws off your entire mood? While this is understandable and you’re allowed to feel disappointed, adjusting to roadblocks and craters that appear in the midst of your path is part of the process. There is no way we can account for everything, so learning to let go of expectations and to accept the way things are is a step forward. You can then jump up from the bottom and start fresh. Presumptions are normal, and by no means should you abandon them, but learning to bend rather than break with every twist in our expectations is a healthy way to maintain peace within the chaos.
Have you ever paid attention to the inner dialogue of your mind? This quite often can be the source of a great deal of negativity, but we don’t realize it until we truly start paying attention. Try within a small window of your day to listen to your inner thoughts more carefully. If you catch yourself talking down i.e. “You’re so pathetic. How could you screw this up?” take the time to change it around and be positive instead. No one expects you to be perfect 100% of the time, so create a positive dialogue for yourself, as well. Start with something small like, “If I keep at it, I know I can get this.” If you don’t support yourself through the mistakes and pitfalls,
[68] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
When you hear the word “Zen,” perhaps you tend to think of Buddhism or meditation. While this most certainly applies, it can be engrained into your life as peace and stillness within the disarray of daily life. Your mind and body both deserve the same attention, if not more, that you apply to all the other realms of your life. In committing to take care of yourself, you will inevitably find a calmness that will give you confidence and strength. Mental well-being ensures you are remembering yourself in the chaos, staying truthful to what you need and want. Harmony is more than a philosophy; it is a way of living with your best interests in mind.■
@chaosandwords Ashley is a writer and editor from South Carolina. She is a language and literature enthusiast, as well as an activist to end violence against women. Her blog ChaosAndWords.com caters to the creative side of her brain.
GUILTLESS SWEET TREATS by Kamila Gornia
@ sensappeal
The last thing you want to do is eat heavy when your body is looking fab all summer, but there’s no need to deprive yourself when you’re craving a sweet treat. Try out these delicious, guilt-free recipes and snack away.
Kammie is a life coach and founder of Sensual Appeal Blog - where a healthy life is one that is delicious, mindful, and happy.
sensualappealblog.com
LOW SUGAR CHOCOLATE HAZELNUT FUDGE INGREDIENTS:
☑450 grams hazelnuts (without shells) ☑scant 1/4 cup dark cocoa powder (I filled my 1/4 cup about 3/4 of the way up)
☑1/4 cup honey ☑pinch of salt DIRECTIONS: → Note: If you have a small processor like I do, divide the whole thing into two separate batches and then combined the two. → Roast de-shelled hazelnuts for 70-75 minutes at 275° F. → Take the hazelnuts out and while warm, transfer them to a strong paper towel or a clean dish towel, form a bundle and rub the nuts against each other so that the skins come off. Not all of the skins come off so you will need to use your hands (or a knife) to get all of the skins off. → Put the hazelnuts in a food processor and process for a few minutes until you get a nice smooth and creamy texture. This is hazelnut butter and you can stop here if you just want hazelnut butter. → If you want the fudge, put the cocoa powder, honey, and salt in the food processor and process some more until the mixture starts clumping together. When it comes together in small sections, dump the 'dough' out and mold it however you like on aluminum foil. Cover the fudge and refrigerate for an hour or two. → Cut into pieces and eat right out of the fridge.
CHOCOLATE-DIPPED YOGURT BITES INGREDIENTS:
☑1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt ☑1/4-1/3 cup Rice Krispies cereal (no salt or sugar added) ☑8 drops vanilla Stevia ☑1/4 cup dark chocolate chips DIRECTIONS: → Combine the first three ingredients and mix together well. Divide the mixture between ice cube trays and stick in the freezer for a couple of hours, preferably overnight. → Then take the yogurt cubes out, as you would with ice cubes. Melt chocolate in a microwave on 30-second intervals, making sure to mix in between so you don’t burn it. → Dip one end of each yogurt cube into the chocolate and let stand. → Microwave the chocolate again to melt it if it cools too much from the frozen cubes. Continue until you have dipped all of your yogurt cubes. → Put on a plate and put them back in the freezer. After an hour, put the cubes in a ziplock bag. Keep in the freezer.
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“To change our bodies, we must first change the way we think.” ~HUNGRY FOR CHANGE
THERE YOU ARE, staring at yourself in the mirror again, wishing you could just get rid of that bulge, roll, dimple—whatever. Maybe you want to lose a few pounds, maybe you want to lose a lot of weight or maybe you just want to tone up. Whatever the case may be, you need to develop the right mindset. If your mind is going to hold onto the negativity, your body will happily hold onto the fat.
Trim the Fat from Your Mind
&
the Pounds Will Follow by: Chrystal Rose
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IT’S A LIFESTYLE
When you start to change the way you eat for the better and exercise to become healthier, in order to reach your goals, you can’t have an end game in sight. You need to look at it as a lifestyle change. You are not on a diet and you are not on an exercise plan. You have changed the way you were previously living—for the better. Living a healthy lifestyle does not need to be miserable. Remind yourself of that.
START SMALL People are such whores for instant gratification that we tend to go all out when we want something and then get pissed when the results don’t happen immediately. If you try to change everything about your lifestyle all at once, you’re going to snap back like a rubber band. Start by making small, lifestyle changes. Don’t go from zero days a week at the gym to five. Not only will you be too sore to continue working out, you’ll lose steam pretty quickly. You don’t have to quit the things you love completely, but start to limit them, like alcohol, soda, fried foods etc.
The best way to change your eating habits is to look at your week of meals—let’s say you eat three meals a day, seven days a week. Start with two meals at a time. Pick two dinners and make those dinners healthy. The next week, pick two more meals to make healthy and so on. When you change your meals gradually you’ll start to feel better and better and it won’t shock you all at once, resulting in you feeling miserable.
Why? It’s not fair!
┌
STRUCTURE NOT RESTRICTIONS
I know. It sucks. But everyone’s bodies are different which makes it difficult for you to find a cookie cutter diet and apply it to your life—no matter how bad the diet industry wants you to. This is why a lot of people fail and get frustrated. The most important thing to do here is to listen to your body. Just because Suzy eats five meals a day, doesn’t mean you need to. Eat when you’re hungry. Don’t eat when you aren’t. Eat slower so you know when you’re full. If your body needs more food, give it more. If five days a week is too much for you to exercise, limit it to three. If you are doing three and think you can do more—add in a day.
The word “diet” has morphed from being “anything and everything you eat” to “a restricted way of eating.” What you eat is your diet. Period. Changing your diet as we discussed, should be a lifestyle change—not a temporary solution. If you look at your diet as temporary you’re bound to be on the yo-yo ride until you start to view it as ongoing and The point is that there’s no secret formula that works for everyone. Practice a little indefinite. trial and error, giving your body a couple of Structuring your diet is a lot different from weeks to adjust to the change and see how restricting your diet and it all starts in your head. Instead of telling yourself, “I can’t have that” think: “I can have that, I just don’t want it.” Or “I can have that, but I don’t need that.”
MODERATION
The words “in moderation” should be translated into “bullshit.” Most people have zero clue what moderation even means. Generally, people use it to describe what crappy foods they can eat as long as it’s “in moderation.”
that works for you. If you need more or less of something, give it another couple of weeks and gauge your body’s response. You have more answers than you realize you do.
SELF-ACCEPTANCE Changing the way you think is so incredibly important when it comes to weight loss and your overall health. Accepting yourself for where you’re at in your fitness journey is so important. You won’t get there overnight and you can’t expect your body to catch up to some ideal you have in your mind. You need to be patient and accept yourself every step of the way. Reaching your goals is such a struggle and you need to support yourself through it, not berate yourself because you magically aren’t where you want to be. Don’t work out and eat healthy because you hate your body and want to change it. Work out and eat healthy because you love your body — and want to take care of it.■ Instead of telling yourself, "I can't have that" think: "I can have that, I just don't want it." Or "I can have that, but I don't need that."
Here’s the thing — let’s say Tuesday night you have one slice of pizza. Not terrible right? Because you only had one slice. The next night you have a few french fries and half a dessert. Thursday you have a breakfast sandwich from a fast food joint. While this may not seem like you’re doing all that bad, this is not moderation. In fact, I would love to see what real moderation even looks like.
If you want to eat crappy food, pick one day a week and eat whatever you want, for one meal on that day. Instead of eating small amounts of junk daily, which could lead to 30-40% of your weekly intake. Choose that one meal and make it a good one. This way you’re looking at more like 5%.
YOU AREN’T SOMEONE ELSE I know this is tough to wrap your mind around, but what works for someone else may not work for you. If you love Suzy’s body and she writes down her workout plan and what she eats, serves it to you on a silver platter and you follow it to a T—there’s a pretty good chance you won’t get the same results.
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WAYS 15
to take care of
YOURSELF
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by: Ellen Ross
Chances are you’ve been told numerous times in your life that you should always take care of \RXUVHOI ƛ UVW EXW ZKDW GRHV WKDW even mean? Sometimes the best advice is given in a way that’s WRR YDJXH IRU XV WR ƛ JXUH RXW It’s no wonder most women think WKH\ƉUH WDNLQJ FDUH RI WKHPVHOYHV but have no idea why they still don’t feel good. Here’s a breakdown of 15 things you can do to take care of yourself in all aspects of your life. It all starts with you, because you’re the only one who can take action for yourself.
1.Eat Healthy You donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to be a nutritionist or diet guru to eat healthy. You just have to remember the basics. Eat Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner: Skipping meals can make you grouchy and LVQÂśW EHQHÂż FLDO WR \RXU PHWDEROLVP <RXU body needs fuel for the day, so do whatever \RX KDYH WR LQ RUGHU WR Âż W DW OHDVW WKRVH meals in. Portion Control: You can still spoil yourself, just make sure you eat proper portions. Remember that it takes 20
minutes for your stomachâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;full signalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; to reach your brain. If you still feel hungry after you eat, drink some water and wait 20 minutes. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re still not full after that, then you can have a little more. Hydrate: Dehydration can make you weak, susceptible to illness, and super bitchy. Always drink water during the day, preferably around 8 glasses. If you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t HQMR\ ZDWHU DGG VRPH Ă&#x20AC; DYRU WR LW Keep it Real: Try to eat fresh food rather than frozen microwave meals. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll notice D GLĚ&#x2020; HUHQFH LQ KRZ JUHDW \RX IHHO ZKHQ \RX DUHQÂśW SXPSLQJ \RXU ERG\ IXOO RI DUWLÂż FLDO ingredients, preservatives, and other crap.
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{
2. Get the Right Amount of Sleep Without a sufficient sleep routine you’ll feel like a hot mess. Go to bed and wake up around the same time every day, even on weekends. Make sure you get the appropriate amount of sleep for your body, based on what you know makes you able to take on the day. For some people it’s 6-7 but for others it takes 8-9 hours to be able to properly function. Sleeping too much is also a problem as it can be a sign that you’re bummed out, and it can still leave you feeling tired and groggy. Healthy sleeping habits can help clear your mind so you can think more rationally.
3. Stay Active and Exercise I know it’s tough to do after a long day, but exercise has so many benefits. For one, it boosts your endorphins to put you in a better mood. Exercise also helps keep your immune system strong and of course it helps release frustration on the days when you just want to bite everyone’s head off. Take walks, do aerobics, a kickboxing class, or maybe try some yoga. Exercise is a great way to boost your self-esteem and gives you a sense of accomplishment. Oh, and you’ll enjoy staring at your naked body more too!
4. Get a Hobby
5. Be Organized
Watching TV all evening is not a hobby, and neither is creeping around on social media. A hobby should be something independent, enjoyable, and productive. Cleaning and organizing can be a hobby for those who enjoy it. Sometimes you can even turn a hobby into something that makes you money like selling things online or running a blog.
It’s so stressful when you feel like you’re all over the place mentally. When you’re constantly missing deadlines, forgetting about appointments, and not doing what you need to get done: Use a Calendar: Make sure you write down all appointments, dates, and deadlines, as well as reminders for the future. Utilize a To-Do List: There are always little things we think of that we need to do each day but life can be so hectic, that you can forget about it by the time you walk into the next room. Make sure you utilize a to-do list whether it’s a sticky note, a cell phone app, or an actual paper list. Write down everything you need to do and enjoy the accomplished feeling you get when you cross them off. Develop a Routine: Use your calendar to develop a routine of days you exercise, run errands, or just relax! This gives your life some structure on a daily basis and if unexpected things come up, it’s easier to get back on your routine since you have it all written down.
6. Set up a Happy Place By happy place, I mean literally the space at home that you live in. Keep it clean and tidy and minimize clutter. Purge things that you
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don’t need. The less pointless crap you have around you, the better you’ll feel. Decorate with your favorite themes, and display pictures to remind you how wonderful your friends and family are. A happy place gives you peace after a rough day, motivation when you need to work on things, and security when you realize you’re in control of it.
7. Surround Yourself with Good People You’re only as good as the people you surround yourself with, so make sure the majority of people in your life are positive and successful, so you can strive to be more like them. This is also the time for you to cut back from spending time with negative people that suck the life out of you (like those friends that always need favors).
8. Manage Your Finances Track that money honey, because once it’s gone the only person whose ass you can kick is your own. Get on a budget, delegate money for living expenses, and curb your spending. Be frugal and seek out sales, buy generic brands, and learn self-control to prevent impulse buys. Always put money away in savings because you never know when you may need it!
9. WORK, WORK, WORK If you have a job, take pride in it and be grateful that you have a way to make an income. Do your best, make friends with coworkers, and keep your resume updated. If you’re a stay-at-home mom or wife, take pride in that job and keep a happy, clean home. If you don’t have a job and need one, then get out there and find one! Working gives you a sense of accomplishment even if it’s just making crafts to sell online.
10. Indulge You can live a healthy life and still indulge in things that make you feel fantastic. Let yourself enjoy dessert or add a new handbag to your collection. Take a break from at home pampering and get your nails done at a salon. Take a day off work to just sit outside and enjoy the fresh air. Don’t deprive yourself of
the little luxuries in life… remember that you deserve them!
11. Be Goofy Dance in front of the mirror, sing along to your favorite song when cleaning, and laugh like a clown when you watch hilarious movies. When you enjoy your own company like this, you boost your self-esteem, and you literally realize how much fun you are to be around. Let’s face it, if you don’t have fun being by yourself, then how can anyone else enjoy being around you?
12. Find Your Style When it comes to fashion, you don’t need to follow any trends, just embrace your own personal style. Wear colors that you love and clean your closet of anything that makes you feel “blah.” Decide on outfits the night before so you can take the time to accessorize. When you feel stylish, you’ll automatically be more confident and that will radiate when you’re around people
13. Write Yourself a Love Letter Buy some beautiful stationary, break out your classiest pen, and write yourself an amazing letter. Make note of your life successes like your great job, recent weight loss, or first home purchase. Make sure you
compliment yourself on all the wonderful qualities you have and point out all of the things you love about yourself. Then put this letter somewhere safe and read it whenever you need a boost.
14.Take Pride in Your Beauty Take care of your soft skin by washing it and keeping it moisturized. Learn how to apply makeup properly so you can look your best even at the grocery store. Style your hair in ways that you love and learn as many tricks as you can. Take time everyday to make yourself look pretty.
15. Take Care of Your Health Your health is all you have so make sure you take care of it by regularly getting check ups with a doctor. This is the best way to catch any health problems in the beginning.■
@ellen_ross1 Ellen runs the blog Ask Away, where she writes about advice, fashion, and a variety of other topics. She lives in Pennsylvania with her 4 Chihuahuas and works full time for the state government. Visit askawayblog.com THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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We love Juice Cleanses!
And we know you do too! It can be messy and a hassle to do all the juicing yourself, so instead of giving you more recipes to try, we’re arming you with a short list of some awesome juicing companies around the US that deliver. Get your juice on, girls!
[76] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
e c i u J Get Your On!
+JUICING DELIVERY SERVICES
National Delivery PRESSED JUICERY, LOS ANGELES
JUS BY JULIE, NEW YORK
VIM + VIGOR, DALLAS
Pressed Juicery was born out of the idea that in order to find fulfillment and balance each day, modern people need to be armed with a fresh set of tools that are simple, convenient, and tailored to their hectic schedules. We believe that everyone is entitled to live their best lives, but in order for this to happen, we need to get back to our roots.
A graduate from the Integrated School of Nutrition, Julie’s passion is to help people live a healthier life. Passed down as a family tradition, Julie has been healing and nurturing her large family through holistic and natural remedies for over 28 years.
Owners Annie Portman and Liz Black want to make juicing a success story for everyone who gives it a try. Health consultants will answer your questions, and they can customize the perfect cleanse for you and guide you through the process, no matter what your goals may be.
pressedjuicery.com
jusbyjulie.com
PURE SWEETS, PHILLY
STRAWBERRY MOON JUICE, SEATTLE
After adopting a vegan lifestyle in 2007, founder Andrea Kyan wanted to help people make the transition to craving more of the healthy stuff. Not long after, Pure Sweets, an organic, gluten-free, vegan, kosher bakery was born-- and they offer cold-pressed juices!
We are a small collective of friends that know how good organic raw juice feels when consumed. Hectic & adventurous lifestyles can lead to poor dietary choices. It is our belief that raw juices, periodic fasts/cleanses and momentary perfunctory asceticism can reset the body, mind, and keep you living a full and pleasant life. * Local Delivery (Please contact them for arrangements if you live outside of Seattle)
JUICE RX, CHICAGO juicerxcleanse.com
In an attempt to find a natural and holistic way of healing, Dean Kasal began juicing. A year later he found himself completely cured of a disease that modern medicine calls incurable. Inspired by his personal health transformation, Dean decided to retire from corporate life to pursue his real passion – helping others transform their minds and bodies.
MY ORGANIC JUICE, BOCA RATON myorganicjuice.com
LIFE FORCE JUICE, BOSTON lifeforcejuice.com
At Life Force, every team member is a partner in the business, which ensures customers will receive the best quality product and service. Each member is passionate about permaculture, sustainable living and helping others to achieve a healthy lifestyle. They even deliver locally via bicycle!
JUICE SHOP, SAN FRANCISCO juiceshopsf.com
Founded by Charlie Gulick who had been diagnosed in 1998 with a rare liver condition after seeking alternative treatment to multiple endoscopic procedures and the inevitable surgery. His family became dedicated to juicing together and created the Juice Shop to share the healthy juices with others.
Local Delivery
Started by Ben and Karolyn Fox, a husband and wife team, in order to help her heal after she’d been diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer and 4 different autoimmune diseases. After a year of research and working with a health coach, the pair learned tremendous techniques on how to heal the body naturally. Now, with a clean bill of health, their passion for juicing helps many others to get healthy.
StrawberryMoonJuice.com
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
©iStock.com/ karandaev≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠
puresweets.com
vimvigorjuice.com
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Love & Sex
g n i t a D & � le Sing
Fall in Love Abroad (&then fall out)
by: Chiara Mazzucco Have you ever had a summer fling? From start to finish, everything wrapped up nice and tight into a 2-3 month package. It holds every emotion you’d see in a regular length relationship, compacted into short term, with everything intensified. When you were a kid, it happened at camp. When you were a teen, it happened while vacationing with your awful family. Now that you’re an adult, and everything is expected to lead into a second date and a white picket fence, why does it feel like you’re not allowed to have fun anymore? [78] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
ell, I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t matter how old you are and that you don’t have to be at band camp to fall in love for 3 months. A summer fling is a state of mind, one that’s a lot more liberating than we give it credit for, and that’s why if you’re single, you should find a way to have one.
W
But How Do I Have One? It helps if you travel abroad for the summer, but you can still make something like this happen as long as you put yourself in some sort of new environment. Consider taking a new class at your gym or enrolling in one at your local community college. Day trips are also a great way to put yourself outside of the 10-mile radius you’ve walked over the last year.
The anatomy of a summer fling No matter how old you are or where you meet, a summer romance always tends to follow the same path. The Meeting
Once your foot is abroad - or in a new environment - be open and the romance will come. I know it sounds a bit incredible, judging from our culture’s general struggle to find partners in life, but you have to remember that you’re not looking for a partner. A summer fling is your chance to experiment. You’re not worried about politics, career paths, and eating habits. There’s no checklist to go through to make sure your core and religious values align. Heck, the guy (or girl, I’m not judging) doesn’t even have to be the look that would typically get your panties in a bunch. Once you release all the criteria you have engrained to find a life long partner and allow yourself to absorb the magic that many individuals have to offer, you’ll be surprised how quickly you’ll click with one. Be open, be friendly, and don’t question where the magnet draws you. By the way, if you can do this in another country, and get the magic of a different culture added to your summer romance, you absolutely should. Adult art class is fun and all, but to know what it’s like to make love to a European artist who speaks zero English is a whole other lesson I think we must all experience.
Why it Has to End This is the part where you’re all like, “But if it was so magical, why does it have to end? I’m on 45 dating websites looking for this exact kind of chemistry and romance! I don’t want to give it up!”
How you meet is always a little different, but the moment you do, is always the same. Somehow, the second your eyes meet, you immediately know something magical is going to happen between you two. Either you disappear onto the patio and talk for hours or you just catch each other’s gaze across the room the entire night. Summer amplifies connection and feelings of attraction. You’re sweating a little, showing more skin, and glowing from the warm sun. Hormones are raging and when two magnets connect, even temporarily, sparks fly.
A summer romance is an amplified version of the honeymoon phase of a young love, which means it’s only meant to last so long before it combusts into harsh reality. A summer romance is best left where it began.
The Incident
It’s important to take a summer romance for what it is: a temporary and extremely intense, memorable experience. If you try to force it to be anything more, it’ll mutate into a broken dream. All the fantasy of it will come undone, the veil will drop, and imperfections will seep through, tarnishing your memory of that perfect summer.
The Incident is the first time you hook up, whether it’s just a kiss or a full-blown night in bed. You give in to the dance that took place during the meeting and the tension that flowed inside your body is temporarily at peace. It’s that moment you both realize you’re going to spend the time you have together, and that you’ll miss each other when it ends.
There is so much magic to falling in love with someone new, but the truth is it’s often destroyed once expectations come into play. You have to take the future into account, and all the criteria you tossed out the window when you first met, suddenly becomes relevant again.
Don’t risk it. You have 45 dating sites waiting for you at home, anyway.
The Ride
Why You Have to Have One
That’s it, you have 2 weeks left and you find a way to spend it all with him. It’s almost like you’re both aware it’s just an illusion, but that it’s pretty wonderful to pretend you’re really together. You accelerate the getting to know each other part of the romance, and stay up all night in between love making sessions telling stories from your childhoods. In that time, you teach each other things that you never thought you’d want or care to learn, but that suddenly seem like the most fascinating things in the world.
So why is it important to have a summer fling? I mean, on the surface it’s just some thing we used to do during our youth that led absolutely nowhere - most notably not down the coveted aisle. So what’s the point in investing your time into something you know will be nothing more than temporary?
The Goodbye And then it’s over, you have to leave and it has to end. Sometimes it’s easy, because you’ve both known the goodbye was coming; sometimes it’s hard, and it’s easier to end it badly and immaturely because you don’t know any other way. No matter how it comes, the goodbye always does.
Life experience. Enjoy being a sexy woman. Allow yourself to feel the hunger and curiosity for the unknown and to be able to refrain from clinging and manipulating it to become something that it’s not. Learn to absorb the beauty and lessons that come along with every relationship. Explore yourself and what you’re capable of doing in a new situation, temporarily in the arms of someone new. Prepare yourself to absorb nothing but the magic and I promise, it will be a summer worth remembering. ■
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Treat Yourself to These 9 Solo Dates by: Julie Zantopoulos
Summer loving had me a blast… Well, unless you’re solo this summer. Hey girl, there’s nothing wrong with that. Hell, even if you have a man in your life there are times where you just want to get away and have a solo date with yourself. There are a ton of things you can do to treat yourself this summer and I encourage you, single or not, to take the time to do them.
A true badass knows that she doesn’t need others to have an amazing time. In fact, sometimes it’s the time she spends with herself that’s the most amazing. Whether it’s a mini road trip, a pamper day, or bettering your community, spend some quality time with yourself this summer.
There are times when hanging with the girls or guys, is just what you need to spark that summer sizzle. There’s something about the smell of tanning oil, the loud music, and the ringing of laughter with friends that screams summer, but sometimes we want a break from it all. Rejuvenate yourself with a solo date and invest in your relationship with yourself because you’re worth it.
Take a Trip
B & B for Some R & R
Water Nymph
Star Gazing
There is nothing wrong with packing an overnight bag, driving a few hours away, and checking in at a Bed and Breakfast in a new town. You’ll meet new people, join others at dinner, and explore a small town with all its charms. As a writer, this is such a romantic and fun notion.
If you’re located near the coast, a great solo date to pamper yourself is a trip to the shore or beach. There is something so calming and wonderful about drinking in the sun’s rays and being in your own headspace. Yes, trolling the beach with your friends is a blast but being alone is nice sometimes. Grab your favorite beach towel or chair, a book, and go relax. Don’t forget your tanning lotion with SPF, a water, lip balm (with SPF), hair tie and hit the sand.
Find a place away from the lights, away from the noise, grab your blanket and lie out under the stars for a little perspective and dreaming. There is a peace, a sense of awe that comes over you as you lie beneath a blanket of stars and spend some time with your own thoughts. Allow your mind to wander, to dream of what your ideal future would be. Revel at your place in this Universe and just how powerful you really are. Perspective goes a long way, and while you may be small in the grand scheme of the Universe, you are a force to be reckoned with.
If you aren’t in the mood for a mini road trip, there are other options for you. You can head to a small hotel or bed and breakfast in the next county over from you. The point is not to drain your wallet but rather to give yourself new surroundings, take a solo trip somewhere new, and talk to some new people.
[80] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
No beach near you? I bet there is a lake, a pool, or some other area you can lie out and enjoy the sunny day. Even if you’re at a park with a great grassy spot where you can sun bathe, take a spray bottle to mist yourself and you’re set.
Drink in the Culture Enjoy the Arts
Give Back
Learn Something New
One of the things that I love is to take advantage of my closeness to Philadelphia with all the museums and exhibits they have. Whether it’s a featured artist at the art museum, a Cleopatra exhibit, an artisans festival or a farmer’s market there are always a ton of things to take in. Grab your notebook, camera, or sketchpad and drink it all in.
A wonderful solo date that is sure to feed your soul, is a day of service to others. Maybe you can spend some time cleaning out your closets and taking your clothes to a house for women trying to get back on their feet. Then stick around to see if you can help out with anything. Perhaps it’s deciding that you’re at a place in your life where you can give back to charities that you believe in, financially. Don’t have the money to financially support a cause? You can still help by signing up to do a walk, a run, or a fundraising campaign with proceeds going to a great cause. No matter what kind of giving back you do, I promise that you’ll feel great about how you spent your day.
It could be a cooking class, pottery painting, or a new workout class as long as you go and learn something new. Plan a solo date and sign up for a daylong symposium on a topic you’re interested in or a workshop on something you’ve been dying to dive into. No matter what you decide to do, it’s important to expand your horizons. A true Indie Chick is always growing, learning, and striving to be more. Investing in your brain is always a great way to treat yourself. Sure, it’s nice to do things in a group, but you’re badass enough to not be afraid to venture on your own and really drink in the experience.
Don’t want to spend the money, or don’t have anything like that close to you? Head to a park or a town center, take pictures, write down what you see, and get inspired by it. Take in the fashions and conversations at a mall… just spend some time sitting and observing life around you.
Pamper Yourself
Your Time to Shine
Smooth Operator
Rock a New Look
Facials are fantastic but a full body scrub is a whole new level of pampering. If you’ve never had one before it’s time to treat yourself! Take a solo trip to a spa and get buffed. You can pick a sugar scrub (which is a more gentle exfoliator) or a salt scrub (a stronger exfoliator) but either one will leave your skin feeling soft as a baby’s ass. No really, I couldn’t stop touching myself after my scrub.
With all that skin showing there is the constant upkeep of hair removal. Whether it be legs, under arms, or your bikini area there is constant shaving and waxing taking place. Why not treat yourself to some waxing?
Do you love the sun kissed bronzed look? Have you been dying to understand how women look dewy and glowing while you are sweat covered and flushed? Why not let the professionals show you how by heading to your local makeup counter for a free makeover? So many women forget, or are embarrassed to take advantage of, the free makeovers that makeup artists give you at high-end makeup counters.
During the summer your skin is on display and should be glowing. Do yourself a favor and don’t do this after fake tanning or right after going to the beach, because you’ll scrub off your tan. Timed right, this will leave your skin refreshed, glowing, and oh so smooth. Believe me, this is an indulgence you’re going to want to fit into your budget.
I can practically see you wincing and believe me, after my home Brazilian waxing nightmare (check the site if you want to know more of that story), I understand why. Let’s face it, the idea of having somebody rip your hair out by the roots sounds painful but there’s a huge benefit. Waxed hair grows back slower, thinner and more sparsely (after repeat waxing). Shaving is a hassle, leaves behind razor burn, grows back in as soon as you hit air-conditioning and is all around frustrating. Schedule a solo date, lie back, and let the professionals take care of it for once.
It’s a great way to try a new look without spending the cash up front on the products you're not sure you will like. Go take a seat in a chair and let the professionals show you how it’s done. Don’t be embarrassed to do it either! It’s their job and they get bored as hell, so they really don’t mind.
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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How Far Would You Go on a First Date? Times are changing. Long gone are the days that the only question at the end of a first date is whether or not he’ll walk you to your door and lean in for a kiss. In most cases, first dates are a lot heavier than that, and it doesn’t all have to do with how far you’ll let yourself go sexually. What’s okay to discuss? What’s considered appropriate touching? And now that you mention it, are you the only one who would go home with the guy if you felt the chemistry? We asked our readers to chime in on first date etiquette. Where do you stand?
79%
*Give just a hug
*Ask what your date’s stance on abortion is
21% 8%
*Have oral sex
*Ask if your date is STD free
37%
37%
*Have Sex
15%
*Hot and heavy *Ask make-out about session exes
[82] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
10%
*Use sexual innuendos
53%
24%
*Get plastered together
*Talk about sex
27%
77%
*Flirty touching
17%
*Ask your date if he’s ever cheated on an ex before
*Heavy groping
69%
22%
*Give a quick kiss (no tongue)
*Ask your date about his annual income
3%
*Ask body specs (like cup size, penis size, etc)
5%
Ever since Harry met Sally, it seems that romantic comedies have been blamed for seasoning our brains with unrealistic dating expectations. On the plus side, rom-coms are a great excuse to laugh at misfortune. Only in movies could Mr. Main Character’s irritable bowel syndrome appear charming. The point is, if some of the most hilarious movie dating scenes were to happen in real life, you might not be laughing.
┌ I
had one of my first real life romcom dates when I was a sophomore in college. The set up was so perfect I expected Adam Sandler to pop out to serenade me. The guy promised the ultimate sexy weekend: sunbathing and binge drinking at his parents’ lake house. That’s a three-pointer. He had me at “binge drinking.”
by: Rebecca Cord
y d e m o C c i t n a m ? o b o R J n o C c i t oman R or
He had a stripped down red Jeep Wrangler ready to go. I thought it was just the two of us until I saw a healthy 150-pound mastiff galloping down his driveway. At first, the notion of my guy bringing along his fourlegged bestie was swoon-worthy. I was digging it until the dog literally pissed all over our fling at about 85 mph. What’s that movie where Julia Roberts get’s a golden shower from a Great Dane? This was way worse. In a typical rom-com, it might have been enough comic relief from all the mush, but this was reality, and that dog was on a mission. Several miles up the road and a few gags later, our third wheel looked as if he were going to sacrifice himself by jumping out of the back seat into oncoming traffic. My first reaction was to yank him away from the edge by grabbing the largest part of his body. Naturally, I grabbed his tail. To my horror, he went from Mr. Super Soaker to PlayDoh Fun Factory and proceeded to shit all over the back seat. It was like I had pulled the lever of a dog shit soft serve machine. Needless to say, no one actually laughed that day. We were too busy free-basing Fabreze to kill the smell.
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
[83]
Obviously, my stance on romance and comedy is that they are better when enjoyed separately. If they must be together, then they are best observed and not experienced. I can watch Drew Barrymore forget who her boyfriend is for 50 dates and be ridiculously entertained, but that doesn’t mean I want to actually become a goldfish. That’s a lot of awkward first-time sex I don’t want to have. On the other hand, there could be a natural law in place regarding dating, that loosely follows the rom-com model. The hotter the love affair, the higher the possibility is for awkward and/or gross things to happen. There is also a phenomenon that happens in a real life rom-com situation, where the typical romantic moment actually becomes the comedic moment. For example, after I graduated college, during a glaringly single stage in my life, I dated a waiter I met at a sushi bar. “Dollar sake” is a great way to score digits, and that he did. He had recently moved to the city, so his apartment was notably bare except for a blow up mattress, a bike stand, and for some reason, a Gucci cell phone. That’s it. The fact that Gucci cell phones actually exist should have told me I was in for a rom-com moment or two. In retrospect, maybe it should have told me more than that. One night at his naked apartment, we almost got naked ourselves. We were making out in a completely empty bedroom and ready to risk third degree rug burns when he pulled back, looked deeply into my eyes, and slowly whispered, “Can I have you?” Immediately the Titanic theme song began ringing in my ears until it was eventually drowned out by my own laughter. The guy was obviously
trying to be romantic. Painfully, obviously romantic, but romantic nonetheless. I later found out that he was an aspiring actor. Go figure. It’s no surprise that I didn’t stick around long enough to see his big finish in that horror movie about the killer animal cracker. While we’re on the topic of climaxes, there’s only one thing more predictable than Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan together in a rom-com: the ending. It’s always the same. The guy gets the girl or vice versa, they’re smooching on top of a rainbow-colored mountain, and butterflies explode from everyone’s ass. I suppose that’s the reverse of irritable bowel
syndrome. If you guessed that the real-life rom-com doesn’t end that way, then you’re catching on. When I began writing, I dated a guy I met on online who lived about 1500 miles away. It was similar to Sleepless in Seattle but a little more Sleepless on Skype. As it turned out, it wasn’t fate. We were not made for each other like Sam and Annie. We did not awkwardly stare at each other on elevators. Actually, after a few visits back and forth, I decided that webcams can be deceiving and accents are better in theory, so I cut bait. I just wish I had a friend like Rosie O’Donnell at the time to give me perspective. So, next time you are watching The Notebook, drowning in a grease bath of tears and movie theater style popcorn butter, get it together. Snap out of the Ryan Gosling trance and think about what’s really going on. I don’t care how hot he is, the truth is no one wants to be taken to an abandoned house to bump uglies for the first time. Hello splinters! The point is that we all can enjoy the fantasy of these movies every now and then just as long as we have enough perspective to wash down the rom-con aftertaste.■
@beccacord
[84] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
Becca is a twentysomething year old Louisiana ballerina turned writer, YouTuber, and freelance marketing professional. When she is not too busy exploiting her cat for likes, she runs Blogger Interactive, a Blogging and networking convention that she cofounded, and edits videos for Kickstarter Campaigns. notaredhead.com
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WHAT’S YOUR DATING STYLE?
1. Your standard outfit for a date is... a) Black wife beater, black jeans, and black leather boots - heeled if the guy is taller, flat if he's shorter. b) A nice fitting pair of dark jeans, a fun flirty flowy top and a kick ass pair of boots. It's casual, well put together, and ready for anything. c) A dress that's in between sexy and cute. Nothing too flashy, but enough to get noticed. d) Short, tight and low cut with as much skin showing as possible. He needs to know what he's in for...or missing out on! 2. What are your thoughts about sex on the first date? a) If you feel it and want to do it - because you’re horny, not because you think he wants it - you go for it and don’t worry too much more about it. b) There is no timeline when it comes to sex, when it feels right, it feels right. c) If it happens, it’s probably because you don’t plan on having a second date. Now the second date-- that’s relationship potential. d) You’ve been there, done that and know it kills all possibility of a relationship. Why hasn’t he called? 3. Have you dated more than one guy at the same time? a) Heck yeah! It’s the most fun a girl can have when done right. You absorb intimacy in different ways from different guys. b) You’re a one man kinda gal. Chatting up multiple guys is one thing but you prefer to date monogomously. c) You’ve juggled before, but only because you didn’t like one more than the others. d) Absolutely! In fact you are right now. Shhhhh don’t let your boyfriend see this... 4. A guy holds your doors open for you, pulls out your chair and helps you with your coat. You think... a) That was nice of him, but I’ll open the door next time just in case he thinks I can’t do it myself. b) Finally, a guy who understands I want to be treated like a lady--at least in public. c) Good. Now I don’t have to teach him all that! d) What a sucker, this will make getting him to take out his wallet SO much easier. 5. Have you ever cheated? a) Yes and it was the guiltiest you ever felt in your whole life. All it did was show you that you didn’t want to be with the guy in the first place. b) Is it still cheating if you’re not the one in the relationship? c) Yes. In fact you’ve written an entire book about it. d) If you have you’d never admit it to anyone, but you’ll judge the hell out of the tramp who does.
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6. Your idea of a perfect date is... a) A planned fun adventure. As long as the guy has it planned out, you could be eating food on the go and still have the most fun ever. b) Dinner and a whiskey tasting all capped off with some great live music. c) A bottle of wine, some steak and lying in the bed of a pickup truck, making out under the stars. d) Who cares as long as it’s expensive and he’s paying? 7. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship? a) You’ve always been a boyfriend hopper and right now you’re into reconnecting with what it means to be you. Single ALL the way! b) Single is where it’s at for you. Staying free to flirt and fling while you create your dream future is right were you want to be. c) While you are comfortable enough in your own skin when you’re single, you’re kind of a romantic at heart and want a true partnership. d) You can get so much attention from so many guys while single but you prefer a relationship so you never have to be alone.
8. Are you friends with your exes? a) Absolutely, as long as there are no loose ends. You know what it means to let go of something that used to be and accept it for what it is now. b) Nah. They were great and all but they’re in the past for a reason. c) Yes. Well at least the ones whose hearts you didn’t tear to shreds. d) Hell no! In fact, you still have a restraining order or two against you. 9. What’s your go to flirt move? a) You whip out your wit, bite your lip, and let intrigue do the rest. The second he shows interest, you pounce and tell him to ask you out for a drink. b) Catch their eye while you’re enjoying a genuine laugh with a friend and give them a bit of a head nod. It’s fun and just the right amount of “balls in your court”. c) The “I don’t care about you cause I’m out with my friends” smile and look away. Gets them everytime. d) Get drunk and grab his package. Gets the point across everytime. 10. Where did you meet your last boyfriend? a) At a bar, while you were having fun with your girlfriends. b) A blind date set up by a friend. They’re always trying to set you up despite you saying you’re cool on your own. c) At a party you didn’t want to be at. Just like they say, it happens when you least expect it! d) At a bar where he asked for your number. You became official a month or so later when he FINALLY broke it off with his girlfriend!
Mostly A’s
You’re most like Chiara! Dating is a fun, adventurous game of push and pull. You like making your move to get something you want but don’t get too caught up in anything serious. You see dating as an opportunity to meet some amazing people, and if you end up falling in love in the process that’s just a bonus. You’re a little badass in leather, ready to have fun!
Mostly B’s
You’re most like Julie! You’re used to living life the way you see fit and while you know you can fit a man into it, you certainly don’t need to. Your life is a little bit rock star and a lotta badass, and all the time yours. You decide what happens, when it happens, and with whom it happens. You’re ready for anything and loving life.
Mostly C’s
You’re most like Chrystal! While your past may be a bit, um, checkered, you have enough experience to know exactly what you want--and what you don’t. You’re perfectly okay with leaving your future to chance and know that when love is right, it’ll happen (if it hasn’t already). Keep being the best version of you that you can be and you’ll always be happy-with or without a man.
Mostly D’s Hey girl, we need to have a talk. If you got mostly D’s in this quiz, you need to take a step back and take a long hard look in the mirror. Is this the woman you planned to become? Let’s do what we have to do to bring you back up to Indie THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK Chick status.
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yup... summer is the BEST season to BE SINGLE by: Chiara Mazzucco
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If you’re coupled up, Summer is a great time to connect and enjoy the simplicity of your relationship. It’s a great time to fall back in love, relax under the sun, and let your inner trouble-free spirit out to play. For those of us who are single, however, Summer also happens to be the most fun season to be unattached. So stop bitchin’ and start celebrating!
The older we get, the more friends get married and have babies, following that traditional path to the white picket fence. And while I’m not here to argue for one or the other, there’s an undeniable amount of pressure when it comes to finding someone to spend the rest of our lives with, especially when options seem to be dropping by the minute. I had a friend justify her addiction to dating sites by saying that if she didn’t find someone soon - she’s 25 - her eggs would dry and she’ll be left to choose between the fat guy in the
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power wheelchair and the bald pervert with the anime addiction. I told her she also had the third option not to reproduce. Regardless, the pressure to couple up and settle down can be so heavy at times that we miss all the fun being single has to offer. There are general perks to being single, applicable throughout the year, and then there are those that are amplified by Summer, making it the best season of the year to be unattached.
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WHY SUMMER?! SUMMER FLINGS Summer flings are magical, and while you have the ability to date short term throughout the year, there is something liberating about the warm summer air. Everyone is in a vacation state of mind, which means they are carefree and focused on the fun of attraction, rather than expectation.
MORE PARTIES, MORE CONCERTS More social gatherings altogether! Summer is a very ‘friendly’ season, where bonds of friendship strengthen and group activities become more common. This makes it a lot more likely to run into other single people and you’ll all be having a good time!
MORE SKIN For those of us who live in parts of the country that experience severe changes in seasons, we look forward to summer and feeling the warmth of the sun on our skin. The more naked everyone is, the more hormones skyrocket, and the more temptation we’re surrounded by. Guess what? Being single means you can give in!
MORE FUN TO DO Sure, there’s a bunch of stuff to do on dates throughout the year that fit nice and tight within each season, but when summer hits that means it’s warm outside and everyone finds whatever excuse they can to bring their celebrations outdoors. Festivals, block parties, bonfires - it’s all there to experience under the summer sun and during the warm summer night.
STILL NOT CONVINCED? Listen, being single is awesome. I know it can get kind of tough during the holidays when everyone’s yapping about sappy stuff, but at the end of the day it’s better to be single than to settle for anything less than extraordinary. You just need to get comfortable in your own skin and know that your self-worth isn’t determined by whether or not you’re in a relationship.
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Here are some additional reasons it’s awesome to be single - period.
you wouldn’t know their value until they were stripped from your life.
YOUR SCHEDULE
YOUR LOOKS, YOUR CONTROL
You take it for granted, but being able to do whatever you want, at whatever time of the day you want to do it is something pretty incredible. It’s easy to say you should have that freedom when in a relationship, but the truth of the matter is that if you got out of bed at 4am to drive down to the beach on your own, your partner may question your whereabouts.
Of course you shouldn’t change your looks for your partner, but does that mean you never do? How many times have you mentioned maybe wanting to cut your hair a bit shorter, and ended up not doing it because of the look that crossed his face? It doesn’t have to be in an obviously abusive, manipulative manner, but men have the tendency to voice their opinions most often against things that we’re really interested in doing. Being single means you get to experiment however the hell you want.
Being single means being able to create your own schedule, based on your own unique likes and dislikes, rather than compromises or joint decisions.
SO MUCH TO ABSORB It’s easy to tunnel vision and think you could get everything you’ve ever wanted and/or needed from a monogamous relationship, but the truth of the matter is there is a lot of ‘amazing’ to be absorbed in the outside world, through other types of relationships. Be it casual dating, or special friendships with the opposite sex, a lot of these relationships would be off limits if you were coupled up and
NO ONE TO ANSWER TO Much like having control over your appearance, there’s an unspoken agreement when you’re in a relationship. You have to behave a certain way for the sake of the relationship, even if it means sacrificing yourself and skipping out on some good times with your friends. Having to explain crawling into bed at 3am with the scent of champagne on the tips of your hair could make for a pretty hectic moment.
LET THIS SUMMER BE THE SUMMER YOU LOOK BACK ON AND REMEMBER AS NOTHING LESS THAN MAGICAL AND FREE.
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You should find a man who will trust you and give you the freedom you crave and deserve as an individual, but those men don’t come around often. In fact, we tend to waste a lot of time banking on the wrong kind of men, investing endless energy, sacrificing far too much, and missing out on everything else life has to offer.
wonderful until your own (real) Mr.Wonderful makes an appearance. It means you can crawl out of bed in the middle of the night and go for a drive. It means dying your hair that one color you keep pinning on Pinterest. It means not having to ask permission to disappear for 3 days when your girlfriends invite you on an all-girls trip.
Being single doesn’t just mean you can go casually date, bone and kiss whomever you please. It means you’re free to experience everything
Let this summer be the summer you look back on and remember as nothing less than magical and free. ■
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the
Fifteen Minuteflirt
(How to hook him in 15 minutes or less!)
by: Julie Zantopoulos You’ve been eye flirting all afternoon but when you both head for the pool steps at the same time, you know that it’s now or never. It’s time to pull out your 15-minute flirt and land this hottie. [90] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
S
ummer is the smell of coconut, the sun soaking into your skin, and having flings. It’s fun, flirty and carefree. Well, it’s also seriously competitive. There are a ton of girls out there and you have to be on your A game if you want to land yourself a summer fling whose memory keeps you warm all year long. We’re talking steamy, sultry, and oh so naughty! This is where the 15-minute flirt comes into play. There is no time for the slow seduction. The tongue on the straw, the eyes from across the room, and the hip gyrating dance moves that bring him in. Nope, it’s time to bring out the offensive game, you gotta get it, girl. So how can you make that boy at the pool bar yours?
Minute 1: The Initial Approach You don’t just sit there and let that hot guy pass you by. If you notice him in the crowd, chances are so does another girl and you don’t want him to be your summer regret. You’ll never know if you’re just sitting in your longue chair undressing him with your eyes or daydreaming about what it would be like to spend the night with him. Get up and walk over to him. Take the time to flip your hair (be subtle, we don’t need you giving yourself whip lash) and own your walk. This isn’t the time for a flip-flop fumble over to his side. You need to be walking crossing your heels, shoulders back, chest out, tummy in and head high. Now is the time to bring out your inner catwalk model!
It’s amazing how men hesitate at correcting women. Act like you already landed him and you’re more than half way there.
“It’s so sweet of you to say I look gorgeous! How about I buy you a drink?”
“I didn’t say you look gorgeous…” “But I do and your drink is low, so what do you say?” Like he’s going to say no. Suddenly you have his attention, your confidence is clear, you made the first move, bought him a drink and he’s thinking, “Damn this girl is a bold badass!”
Minute 5: Banter, Baby After your bold introduction a little bit of friendly, lighthearted banter is going to be needed to break the ice. Introduce yourself to him with a genuine smile and a handshake. Ask what he’s drinking and make sure you follow through with actually buying him that drink. If you’re going to take charge of the introduction then take charge of this first interaction as well. These are your minutes to shine.
It can be as simple as, “I’m only in town for another 2 days and then it’s back to reality. Wanna help me make sure this is a memorable trip?” Leaving what the fling means to either of you up in the air, allows you the freedom to explore things after you’ve landed him. Or you can be super ballsy and really lay it out there, “I’m looking to walk funny tomorrow, interested?” The point here is that there really is no time like the present. Letting him know that you’re looking to have a little fun, whether that be renting jet skis, snorkeling, hitting up a hot club that night, or getting your groove on allows him to see that you are to the point and not afraid to ask for what you want. Believe me ladies, when they don’t have to guess what you want, they’ve already fallen half in love.
Minute 14: Close the Deal By this point you either have him firmly in your grasp or he’s run off, in which case he wasn’t nearly cool enough to be with a badass chick like you anyway. Now is the time that you seal the deal. I’m not talking about banging him at the bar (though no judgment if you do). I’m talking about making sure it’s not a “here’s my number, call me” exchange. The second that you do that and walk away you risk him being approached by a chick that understands that closing the deal on a 15-minute flirt is crucial.
When you only have a few days in a location, time is of the essence, so take this initial interaction and turn it into a mini first date. Immediately engage him in going to another location, heading to an activity, or bring him with your group of friends to the next party. If he’s still talking to you, he’ll go with you gladly. Once he’s left with you, or engaged in another activity with you, he’s a lot more likely to actually call when you do part. You’re strengthening the attraction, the bond, and increasing your chances for a successful summer fling. No matter your approach or how you mix and match these 15-minute flirt techniques remember that confidence is key! The competition is high so your game needs to be on point to stand out from all the others. But, you’re an Indie Chick, so we know you have this covered. Have fun!■
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Minute 2: Initial Contact… Act Like You Already Have Him
Have fun with it! We know it may seem a little scary at first, but you just need to stay confident and rock your inner badass! Want more? Read How to Hit on a Guy on TheIndieChicks.com
Wow him with a random piece of relevant information, compliment him, and put him at ease. He needs to see that you’re not just a sexually aggressive chick who is full of herself. Make him laugh or pique his interest.
Minute 10: Cut to the Chase You both know why you spray tanned, put on waterproof mascara and oiled your absyou’re looking to hook up. Why not just own it, stop playing the games and be clear about what you want? After the introductions and the witty banter for a few minutes, I dare you to be bold(er) and let him know exactly what you’re looking for.
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Love & Sex
Relationships
10[ BADASS] WAYS TO KEEP TOGETHER 10 YEARS+?
THE LOVE ALIVE
by: Renee Claybion
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So you’ve found the guy that makes your heart skip a beat. He loves you, supports you, and makes you feel all warm inside. You want to feel this way forever, but are worried things may turn stale. Long-term relationships don’t have to be boring or predictable, in fact there are ways to keep the love alive and strong throughout the years.
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n a perfect world, every relationship would leave you weak-kneed and full of passion. So why is it we’re all not dancing around in the pink cloud of a romance novel? We all get caught up in the boring day-to-day grind of life. This year I was fortunate enough to celebrate 10 years with my high school sweetheart. Yes, you read that right, and it wasn’t all smooth sailing. Having been through the proverbial relationship gauntlet, I’ve become the go-to source for my friends and I’ve realized that everyone, male or female, wants the same thing: a long-lasting loving relationship. Fortunately for you, I’ve been there, done that and taken notes, and let me tell you, it’s not all about fucking like rabbits.
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through anything together. It’s that comfort and trust that will keep your relationship strong, and each of you balanced and grounded when life gets crazy.
MAKE SOME QUIET TIME When you first started dating, you shut the world out. There’s no reason to stop doing that once you’re committed. It’s important to make time for each other and it’s even more important to make that time special and intimate. Pick a time when you dedicate 30 minutes to an hour just for each other, turn off the TV, turn off your phones, and have an actual conversation. I opt for dinnertime and make a point to eat at the table. Not only do we get a yummy meal but it also feels like we’re on a little date. Use this time to ask each other questions, make plans for a dream trip or just laugh and enjoy each other’s company.
KEEP IT SPICY
PICK YOUR BATTLES Nothing kills a relationship like constant bickering and arguing. Once you pass the honeymoon phase and settle in, all the little things you once found to be adorable, just get plain annoying. The reality is, just like in any other relationship there will always be things that annoy you and push your buttons. Being in a mature loving relationship means finding compromise and exercising patience. Don’t sweat the small stuff if it’s not something that will deter the progress of your relationship. If you’re still bugging about it later, take time to calm down and then bring it up in casual conversation, you’re more likely to get a positive response when you don’t have an accusatory tone.
LIE A LITTLE I know, I know, lying is bad but it’s a necessary evil. You can absolutely be in a loving, beautiful
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relationship and lie just a little bit. (Obviously, don’t run around murdering people and cheating in your spare time, but there are definitely times when the whole truth just isn’t necessary.) For example, your wild girl’s weekend to Vegas doesn’t need to be recapped in its entirety for your significant other. It might be something small and could spawn an unnecessary argument, so save yourself the grief and keep it to yourself. If it doesn’t deter the progress of your relationship it’s better left unsaid.
LIFT EACH OTHER UP Being in a relationship will only work if you equally support and encourage each other. You should always feel like he is in your corner and he should feel the same about you. You have to be comfortable sharing your dreams and goals with each other, making plans together, crying to each other and trusting that the two of you can get
I couldn’t give you honest advice without bringing up sex. Sex is a key component to a healthy relationship and if you want yours to last you need to make sure you’re giving it up. The best part about being in a long lasting relationship is the freedom you have with your partner. He’s seen every part of you, so there’s no reason to be shy and hide your desires or your body. Make a list of all the things you two want to do or have never done and start checking them off. You know the butterflies you got when he held your hand for the first time? Just because you’ve been together for a while doesn’t mean you can’t recreate that feeling. Instead of jumping into the sack, make out on the couch for a while, give each other messages, tickle each other, and do a little strip tease. Send him dirty texts in the middle of the day and let the anticipation build, by the time you see each other you’ll be ripping clothes off. There’s more than one way to turn things up in the bedroom and everyone loves an adventure so think outside the box.
THE BEST FRIEND VIBE Sex and communication are important factors in a relationship, but they’re nothing compared to loving your best friend. You trust each other so what’s to keep you from giving him the title of best friend? Everything you do together doesn’t have to be sophisticated and elaborate. Find some down time and do fun childish things together like bowling or miniature golfing. The best part about loving your best friend is the security it brings to your relationship. It’s harder to give into temptation or hurt them when you think of them as not just your partner, but your best friend too.
DON’T BE AFRAID TO TEASE When you’re around each other all the time, you’re bound to find little things to poke fun at. It might seem backwards but I’m a firm believer in picking on your partner, that doesn’t mean break their spirit down and be a bully, but don’t be afraid to point out some of the dumb shit they do. Think of it like this, your relationship is like a steam valve; long days and bills cause the pressure to build up. Picking on each other releases a little steam before that pressure bursts. Just be sure to keep your jabs in good fun and deliver them with love-the minute the jokes become too personal you’ve entered the fight zone.
SLEEP PEACEFULLY The best piece of relationship advice I ever got was from Brett’s dad, he told me the key to a loving relationship is to make sure you never go to bed angry. It’s impossible to be in a relationship and never have a fight but that doesn’t mean you can’t do something to make it better. If you get into a fight take some time to cool down and process, but no matter what happens before you go to bed say “I love you” and get a cuddle and a kiss. Don’t wait for
him; most guys won’t make the first post-fight move to resolve things because they’re afraid of another blowup. It doesn’t have to mean you’ve solved everything, but it does help.
WRITE EACH OTHER NOTES There’s nothing sweeter than opening up your purse to find a surprise love note. Take a small moment to jot something sweet down for your lover and slide it into his wallet or car. I once opened my planner to find Brett had hidden little notes on random days throughout the year. Doing small things to make your partner feel appreciated is always a good idea. The beauty of writing notes is that it’s free and only takes a few minutes. You don’t need to write a sonnet or spill every detail of your undying love but just enough to make the other person smile.
ENJOY LIFE OUTSIDE While spending every day with your lover is beautiful, you need to maintain outside relationships. When you first started dating you had a life all your own, and you don’t drop it just because you’re in a committed relationship. Make plans with your girls, go on weekend vacations and enjoy your life away from your partner. He’ll appreciate the boy time and you’ll be truly happy to see each other and have fun stories to share. Keeping a relationship fresh takes effort on both parts but it’s not an impossible task. When you find someone who truly makes you feel special it’ll all seem natural and you’ll enjoy taking the extra steps to stay happy.■
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Have a Summer Fling
They say that winter is for snuggling and relationships, and summer is for fun and flings, but what if you’re in love? Well you can still have a summer fling, only this summer-- have it with your man.
(with your man) by: Chrystal Rose
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h summer. Everything is a bit sexier. Less clothing, more skin, people come alive and out to play after the cold has gone. Hot summer nights always hold the promise of something special and you feel the desire for something new. Just because the summer is calling your name, doesn’t mean you need to be single to enjoy it. In fact, what’s sexier than heating up your relationship to match the weather?
Flirt So many of us in relationships forget to flirt! It doesn’t take much and will go a long way. If you’ve somehow forgotten how to flirt, here are a few freebies: Make eyes at him from across the party. Bat those eyelashes, smile then look away, even try blowing him a kiss. Gently rub his leg at the table. Send sexy text messages during the work day.
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Make out in the car I don’t care if you live together, are married or have been dating anywhere from a month to a year. Making out is hot, but making out in the car is hotter. So many couples forget to make out after sex gets mixed in. All you get is a kiss or two and next thing you know you’re having sex. The car is the perfect place to make out because not only will you feel like teenagers while you’re doing it (hot), but it’s a little more difficult to have sex in a vehicle. Take your time, enjoy it, and if you feel like going all the way after a bit, go for it. What else are summer flings for?
Share thrills The spikes in adrenaline you experience when doing something daring, can increase your bond when shared with a partner. So try something exciting and new together! Zip lining, rock climbing, white water rafting, cliff diving, skydiving and bungee jumping are all ways you can get that adrenaline pumping. If that all seems a
bit too hardcore, riding rollercoasters and watching horror flicks can get the job done (without concern that you might fall to your doom).
Nature Sometimes it feels like my boyfriend and I are always trapped inside. Even on beautiful days it’s easy to get sucked into watching a movie or catching up on some work. Instead of hiding in the dark— get your asses outside. Going for a walk or a hike through the woods will give you both an instant boost. There is something so absolutely amazing about being immersed in nature, even just being alone together, surrounded by all that is natural, will give a sort of freshness to your relationship. Maybe even set up a picnic and if no one is around, why not make out a little or have sex in the grass?
Catch a sunset, sunrise or both
Sweat together Endorphins, much like adrenaline can bond you, so if you don’t normally work out together, why not give it a try? Go for a run or swim some laps. Lift weights or show each other your favorite exercises. Push and motivate each other… then take a victory shower together.
Stargaze Lying out under the stars might sound cheesy, but it’s such a romantic reminder of how small we are as humans. These are the times when deep conversations happen and you learn things about each other that you may not know yet. Kissing is sweeter and you’re bound to feel closer after. Bring some blankets, some wine and snuggle up under a clear night sky.
Go for ice cream No summer fling is complete without an ice cream or fro-yo date. Order the biggest most obnoxious sized cone you can and share it, or get two different flavors you both want to try. Sit outside on a bench and watch the people as they
walk by, making up stories about them and make sure not to let the sun melt your frozen treat. Have fun, be playful and enjoy the simple date.
Hit the beach Who doesn’t love the beach? If it’s possible to take a day trip to the beach or even a lake, do it. Take turns rubbing suntan lotion on each other, play Frisbee, walk along the water’s edge together, hunt for shells or build a sand castle. There are so many fun things to do together while enjoying the surf and sun, it’s tough to have a bad time. While you’re at it, why not show off a sexy new bikini that he hasn’t seen before?
Stay in a hotel Sometimes you just need to get away and nothing says summer fling like a hot night in a hotel room. Go a town or two over and get a room. It doesn’t have to be fancy but if it is, that can be fun too! Make out in the hotel pool, make visits to the ice machine to fill that champagne bucket or take a joint soak in the tub. Watch bad TV or explore a nearby dive bar. Bask in the idea that no one knows you (hopefully) and fling it up!
Much like stargazing there is so much beauty to be seen here. Sunrises and sunsets are romantic staples and when you’re wrapped up in a summer fling it’s very possible to catch them both in the same night. Enjoy the silence, beauty and each other while you soak in the beautiful pinks, reds and oranges the sky delivers. Kiss him like it’s your last night together or like it’s your first morning with each other.
Have sex outside A lot of these fling dates can easily lead to sex-- and why shouldn’t they? Sex outside, as long as you aren’t Pikachu deep in a poison ivy bush or fire ant hill can be absolutely exhilarating. Let the breeze tickle your skin and be aware of every sound, touch, and smell. Enjoy the thrill of possibly getting caught, but don’t be disrespectful with it. (Just make sure no one’s kid stumbles across you two sans clothing with a handful of ass and you’ll do just fine.) The best part about having a summer fling with your man, is having all the sex you want, without having to worry about what’s going on in his head. You also get to be in each perfect moment, because you don’t have to say goodbye when it’s over. When everyone’s flings are ending, your flame will be burning bright, straight into the next season.■
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VACATIONING with your significant other’s family
by: Renee Claybion
It’s that special time of year again, school’s out and those saved up vacation days are ready to be used. Lucky you has just been invited on a weeklong getaway with your boyfriend to a fabulous beach house. There’s just one catch—his entire family is coming too. Yikes. THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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yourself the grief and steer clear of any and all family feuds until at least your last name matches theirs.
Do Your Own Thing Sure there are tons of family activities planned but that doesn’t mean you have to do everything. It’s ok to speak up if you just want to chill out and have some alone time. If you’re not into an activity tell them and hang back, bring a good book along, go for a solo swim or take a long nap. They did invite you, but it’s your vacation as well and their invitation doesn’t come with an obligation to be with them every second of the trip. Think about it, when you’re on vacation with your own family, you take a little space and quiet time right? No reason you can’t apply it here. Be friendly and social when you’re all together but don’t be afraid to assert your independence when necessary.
G
etting an invite to an annual family vacation from your significant other is a pretty big step in a relationship. It’s the sign that you are considered part of the family and that they want you to be a more permanent fixture. Sure, it sounds like a great time with good food and lots of sunshine—sort of. Of course, you’ve met the parents before and even had a few dinners at their house, but spending a whole week together? What if you don’t get along with Gam Gam? What if the rest of the family just doesn’t like you? How are you going to deal with all of them at once? Before you start looking for an excuse to get out of the vacation or contemplating a medically induced coma, take a deep breath. Take it from the girl in a decade long relationship, I’ve had my fair share of family vacations and just like you I was panic stricken the first time. After a few years and some definite trial and error, I now have some pretty easy ways to keep you from going insane (and keep you in the family).
Stay Positive Everyone’s heard of the power of positive thinking and I’m a firm believer in it. It’s understandable that you’re feeling nervous about how the extended family will receive you, but going into it with a negative mindset will only ensure their disdain. My first time, I had a stick up my ass and a chip on my shoulder. I was convinced that everyone would hate me and despite their open arms
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and welcoming words, I refused to believe it was genuine. I spent most of the time sitting by myself and didn’t make an effort to be part of the family I was so graciously welcomed into. What an absolute waste of time! Instead of focusing on all the possible things you won’t enjoy or ways it might go wrong, think about how nice it will be to spend time with your significant other and meet his family. Remember it’s your vacation too, don’t spend it being sullen, get out there and enjoy yourself.
Stay Out of It Drama is a given at any family function, when you’re on a weeklong trip it will usually pop up around day 4. No matter what-- stay out of it! It doesn’t matter how loud they get or what your opinion is, this is the one time you are not entitled to be involved with the family. A family fight can start up over the smallest thing, but the heart of the fight almost always goes back years and is much more complicated than it appears. You don’t know the history and although harsh words may be said to prove a point, it’s 100% not your place to jump in. You have to squash the instinct to protect and defend because chances are, they’ll all hug it out in a few hours if not the next day, after all they’re family. Jumping in where you’re not wanted or required will likely result in the family turning on you and a guaranteed argument between you and your significant other. Save
Have Fun… Just Not Too Much You have every right to have the best time possible but you can’t forget that it’s a family vacation. While you might usually use your vacation time to get wild and try every cocktail known to man, getting blackout drunk on someone else’s trip is just plain rude. It’s been my experience that family vacations center around big family meals and a constant stream of alcohol. Hanging at the beach all day while playing in the sun, it’s only natural to have a few drinks, but remember those drinks add up. A few beers with lunch, two cocktails in the afternoon and the sun beating down all day can leave you feeling drained and lead to disastrous conversations with Aunt Jane. No one can ever live down the stigma of being the ‘drunk girl’ on the family vacation and you definitely don’t want that lingering over your head. Make sure to stay hydrated and semi-sober. Let someone else take the drunken title; I’m sure there’s an Uncle who’s happy to handle it for everyone.
Be a Helping Hand There’s nothing more annoying than someone mooching. You were invited to spend time with the family so don’t treat them like hotel staff. If they rented a house for the week offer to help prepare a meal, it will give you time to bond with some of the other family members and you can show off your skills. Make sure to keep any area you’re
in clean and tidy, make your bed, keep your toiletries in order, and pick up after yourself. It’s not that hard and it will go a long way with all the moms, because trust me they notice everything. Don’t be afraid to go the extra mile and pick up trash, wipe down tables, or gather beach towels; someone’s got to do it, why not you?
Time for the Two of You Don’t let the family bully you two into only hanging with the group. Find a quiet spot to chill out have a drink and watch the sunset before the big family dinner - the rest of the family will understand. There’s no reason the two of you can’t enjoy a romantic moment and some quality time. Just do your best to keep it PG-13 when you’re in the vicinity of the family, you definitely don’t want any family members walking in on you two having sex. If you do feel the need have an intimate moment, double and triple check that the door is locked. Keep it quiet and leave the sex Olympics for another time; it’s a family vacation, not a honeymoon.
Make an Effort
{
You may have already gotten to know the immediate family, but make an effort to get to know the extended family as well. If you know your significant other loves their Aunt take some time to sit and talk with her. Trust me, they want to get to know you as well and can only do that by engaging with you. Take time to play with any younger kids running around, you don’t need to become a permanent baby sitter, just acknowledge their presence. Kids are a ruling force in families and if they don’t like you they’ll be sure to tell everyone. Even though it’s a vacation, it’s also an opportunity to secure your place within the family and to impress them. Be yourself and make them love you as much as your significant other does. Family vacations are fun and just because it’s not your family doesn’t mean you have to be an outsider. Remember you were invited not just because of your partner but because the family wants to spend time with you as well. Relax and enjoy the time off, the beauty is that they aren’t your family so you don’t have to deal with all the annoying family bullshit, just kick back and enjoy the trip.■
Whether you love them or hate them, your significant other's family is here to stay. Make the best out of the situation and enjoy every minute of your vacation.
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Stop
When it comes to dating, there is no shortage of advice about it. Amazon alone brings up almost 28,000 books on dating, and of course, the vast majority are geared toward women.
Listening to Bad Dating Advice! by: Kiri Blakeley
H
ow much of this is bad advice? Well, a lot of it. There are some wonderful books out there, and some I certainly wish I had read 20 years ago, (and some that should be required reading in all high schools). But there’s also a lot of garbage. Add to that Internet advice -- usually written in “5 Ways To …” format, and written by 22-yearolds fresh out of college at their first blogging job -- it’s hard to know where to turn for sage advice. Some of the bad advice I’ve encountered over the years:
IGNORE A MAN
If you read any dating advice whatsoever, you are bound to come across the directive to completely ignore guys. Don’t call them, don’t email them, don’t text them and definitely do not ask them out first. Dating gurus are united in their directive that men need to do the chasing -- and if you so much as send out the weakest signal that you’re interested, they will flee in the other direction.
There are a couple of problems with this: One, the advice I’ve read that is geared towards men gives the same advice. Men are also told to ignore women. There’s a belief that the “high value” women know they are high value and only interested in the men who don’t chase them. What this leaves, of course, is men and women apparently doing nothing but ignoring each other. Women who do nothing but allow a man to chase them are at high risk of attracting chasers -- guys who love the chase, and nothing else. These are usually the player types who have developed a very thick skin for rejection, or actually get off on it. But at some point, if you want an actual relationship and not just a race, you’ve got to turn around and look a man in the eye. You’ve got to stop running and say, “Why yes, I’d like to have a relationship with you too” before you can know if the guy pursuing you is going to panic at those words. I recommend letting the guy do some chasing at the beginning -- at least the first three dates -- and then turning around and extending your interest. Ask him out. Invite him over.
When to sleep with a man should really be more about you, and when you’re emotionally ready. [102] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
Give him a call. I’m not recommending you suddenly become the pursuer and chase a guy up a tree -- but let him know you are interested. If he high-tails it out of there, then you haven’t wasted too much time.
DON’T ASK ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP
In a popular book called “Why Men Love Bitches” I was astonished to see that the “bitch” should never ask about the relationship and where it’s going. The “bitch” is supposed to be too busy/independent/ popular/secure to even care about such petty matters. To me, that seems like a fine way to get yourself into a mess. The woman who can never ask a man where the relationship is headed shouldn’t be surprised if she finds herself steered hundreds of miles off course. Imagine being months or years into a relationship and not being able to maturely discuss whether the relationship is leading to living together, marriage, or children. Few men will bring these things up themselves if they can help it. And who wants to be with a guy who can’t handle a “Where is this relationship going?” conversation.
DON’T HAVE SEX ON THE FIRST DATE
I think there’s nothing inherently wrong with telling women not to have sex on the first date if their goal is a relationship. The problem is the language in which the advice is couched. The advice is based on the idea that men weed out women who sleep with them early as a contender for a serious relationship. Some do, some don’t. But it shouldn’t be about the guy. A man who discards you after a night of first-date-sex may just as easily do
that the man is on the same page she is about the relationship. Do NOT make the mistake of thinking that sex will bond a man to you emotionally and try to use it as leverage to extract a relationship out of him. It simply doesn’t work.
CHEAT-PROOFING YOUR RELATIONSHIP
I cringe every time I see a “10 Ways to Cheat-Proof Your Relationship” type article. Because there is no such thing. All you can do is work on your end to make the relationship as healthy as it can be. Because men can cheat when they’re getting stupendous sex. They’ll even cheat when they’re happy. I’ve had enough happily married men hit on me to know. Many people cheat because the opportunity is staring them in the face and they feel like it. It’s too scary to think you have little to no control over what another human being will do, so we lap up these “If you do A, B, or C, your man won’t cheat” articles. Then, if he does cheat, you blame yourself. These articles can be good to get a sense of things you might want to improve -- but don’t fool yourself that anything can CHEAT-PROOF a relationship.
DON’T TREAT YOUR DATE LIKE A JOB INTERVIEW
Yes, by all means, treat a job interview more importantly than a date. Are you kidding? Absolutely treat it like a job interview. You shouldn’t hit all of the important questions on the first date, but at least pick three. Women get it drilled into their heads that they’re not supposed to ask heavy questions on dates -- that this will ‘scare’ a guy away -- well, if a guy can’t answer important questions now, he probably won’t later. Better to scare a dude like that off.
WHEN A MAN TELLS YOU WHO HE IS, BELIEVE HIM
it after a night of 20th-date-sex. Some men immediately panic after sex because they know from now on more is going to be expected of them. When to sleep with a man should really be more about you, and when you’re emotionally ready. I’m not talking physically ready, because you might be physically ready in the first three minutes. But it’s time women accepted that they can’t necessarily fuck like a man. Women become much more bonded after sex than
men do. Perhaps it’s the ingrained impetus we need to take the real risk that is childbirth. Though you might be on the pill and have no inclination to get pregnant, remember that women didn’t have this option for eons. Our biology hasn’t necessarily caught up with the pharmaceutical industry. Women who have a history of becoming emotionally attached after sex need to accept this about themselves and hold off on it for as long as they need to until they feel fairly secure
While there is some truth to this -- many women minimize or dismiss a man’s assertion that he is, say, a “confirmed bachelor” when they shouldn’t -- it's important to listen to what he says and take it into account, but then watch to see if his actions match his words. If he says “I love you” but isn’t treating you lovingly, isn’t being truthful, is being shady or sneaky, or parts of his life are closed off to you, then what good are those three words? On the other hand, if a guy is treating you like a girlfriend, but won’t call you that, then something is off. Actions and words should match up. A man will show you who he is much more than tell you.■
@KiriBlakeley Kiri Blakeley is a blogger for The Stir. She has written for Forbes, Marie Claire, The New York Post, Petside, and many other outlets. Her book “Can’t Think Straight: A Memoir of Mixed-Up Love” was featured on The Today Show, 20/20, The Joy Behar Show, The Gayle King Show, and written about in The New York Times, Grazia, Marie Claire, AOL, and other outlets. You can find her on Facebook at Writings of Kiri Blakeley. Find all of her latest blogs on The Stir.
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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[104] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
The
[Dump] Guide
(how to dump and be dumped) by: Almie Rose
Summertime is when people thrive on being single, but getting to the single part isn’t always fun. What if you want to shed that excess “winter weight” and ditch the guy you’ve been seeing in order to free up some space for a fling or two? What if the wound is fresh and you were just recently dumped? Getting into the single mojo may be difficult, but certainly not impossible. Unless you’re a psychopath, no one enjoys dumping someone. And unless you’re a masochist, no one enjoys getting dumped. So how do we deal with dumping someone and being dumped when it’s so unpleasant and yet often so necessary? I’ve got a few tips. THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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WHEN
YOU
ARE DUMPING
DON’T USE CLICHÉS. Sure, maybe you really do need to “focus on you” right now, but say it in your own words. When you’ve been through so much with a person, so many experiences, feelings, and good and bad times, the last thing you want to hear is, “It’s not you, it’s me.” It sounds so fake and cold.
BE HONEST, BUT KIND. Remember: there’s a difference between being honest and being an asshole. Being honest is saying something like, “I feel our age difference is too much for me to ignore. You’re looking for different things at this point in your life than I am, and I don’t think we can be together.” While being an asshole is something like, “You’re 21 and make stupid decisions because you’re basically a child, and I can’t date
a child, and you’re never going to grow up, so I have to get the hell out of this.”
BE PATIENT. They’re going to ask the same questions over and over like, “Are you sure?” and “What’s so bad about me?” and “When did you decide this?” and “What can I do”? Your mind is made up and you have to be firm about it, and in doing so, patient as well. Because they’re not really asking for answers, they’re asking because it’s all part of the grieving process, and they’re in disbelief. They’re hurt, and they don’t know what to do, so they’ll probably say or ask the same things over and over, and all you can do is honestly and kindly answer their questions and not get agitated. Because getting annoyed is going to make the whole situation ten times worse.
[106] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
GET TO THE POINT. If you’ve ever watched The Bachelor (and if you have, so what, no shame in that game, it’s like watching a modernized version of Dante’s Inferno, that’s how unbelievable and entertaining it is) you’ll recall how poorly the bachelors break up with their ah, contestants. They take forever to get to the point. They’ll start by listing all of the wonderful attributes about them, filling them with hope that they’ll be “chosen,” only to have it come crashing down when they say that one word: “but.” Don’t fill the other person with hope that this is anything but a break-up talk. Again, don’t be mean, please. Being mean doesn’t help.
DON’T TRY TO COMFORT THEM RIGHT AWAY. I’ve found with guys that after they break up with you and you start crying, they want to hold you or hug you, and all you want to do is shout, “DON’T TOUCH ME!” When you break up with someone, even though you’re “done” with them, you still hate to see them in pain, and it’s natural to want to comfort them. But it can actually hurt way more when you try to do that. Because you just told someone you don’t want to be with them anymore, and yet here you are offering your safe, comforting hug – it’s confusing. Give them a few moments to grieve. Don’t force them into being okay with it right away. Let them cry. I know it sucks to watch someone cry, and maybe patting them on the back might help, but be careful. It can be really upsetting.
WHEN
YOU
ARE BEING DUMPED LISTEN TO WHAT THEY’RE SAYING. When getting broken up with, it feels like suddenly all noise disappears and you’re in a dark tunnel and have no idea what the hell is going on. Try to instead focus on exactly what they’re saying. You don’t want to walk away from the break up and have no idea why you got broken up with. This is also an opportunity for growth and learning. So before you say anything, just listen.
DON’T TRY TO CHANGE THEIR MIND.
DON’T RESORT TO NAMECALLING OR INSULTS.
tell yourself these feelings are only temporary, and try to be present.
This is not a debate. They didn’t come to you because they’re not totally sure about breaking up with you and this one conversation is going to be what decides it. Nope, they’ve already made up their mind, and there’s no point in trying to change it. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you, anyway? “Because it’s all I know! Because I love them! Because I’m scared!” – I know, I know. But really, you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you, because that’s just sad.
There’s no point. Yes, you’re incredibly hurt, I know, but insulting them isn’t going to make this break-up any better. It might make you feel better, but that’s not going to last long. Because you’re going to think back about the break-up and cringe when you remember how you insulted their sense of style and called them a “stupid, ass-face.” Hold those back for after the break-up, when you’re talking to your friends about it.
FOR BOTH PARTIES:
LET YOURSELF GRIEVE. Hey, if you want to cry, go ahead and cry. This is your time to let it all out. Try not to hit them. But go ahead and grieve the relationship. Break-ups are not fun and no one says they have to be. If you’re feeling sad or mad, go ahead and feel sad or mad. But…
STAY IN THE PRESENT. You’re likely going to start thinking about the future, right away, thinking, “Who is going to go with me to the party on Saturday? How am I going to afford rent now that they’re moving out? What the hell am I supposed to do now?” and all that awful stuff. Keep it out of your mind. You have to stay in the present. Because if you think too far into the future with the fragile state you’re in, you’re going to have a really hard time. Take deep breaths, listen, stay in the moment,
Give each other some time and space before you even think about being friends. And don’t make promises you can’t keep. If you know in your heart that you can never “just be friends” with this person, don’t say you can. It’s not fair to either one of you. But I’ve found that with time, I’m able to be friends, or at the very least, friendly, with my exes. And I like that. But it’s up to you. You don’t have to do anything. ■ @apocalypstick Almie Rose is from LA and writes for Hello Giggles, Thought Catalog, The Frisky, The Gaggle, and Genlux magazine. Her work has appeared on Xo Jane, Jezebel, and The Awl. Her eBook titled "I Forgot To Be Famous" is available on Amazon, Apple, and Barnes and Noble. Her favorite thing to do is eat, drink, sleep, and repeat. apocalypstick.com.
AND YES, YOU’RE ALLOWED ONE FULL DAY OF SLEEPING IN, BINGE EATING, AND CRYING TO YOUR FRIENDS. THAT’S| INDIE A FREEBIE. THEINDIECHICKS.COM CHICK [107]
Love & SexSex Not everyone is into kink and not everyone wants a red room of pain. Some of us like our sex vanilla, but that doesn’t mean vanilla sex has to be boring. Whether you’re looking to change things up a bit or simply try something new but not too “out there”, simply start by adding toppings to your vanilla sex.
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Add Some Toppings to That Vanilla Sex by: Dani Walker
W
hen you hear vanilla sex, what's the first thought that pops into your head? If you're like most people, vanilla sex is a boring, plain Jane sexual experience, which if it’s a new relationship, makes you question partaking in future romps and leaves couples questioning if their relationship has hit a sex rut. I look at vanilla sex in a different way than most. I happen to enjoy vanilla sex. I like the simplicity, the sweetness, and the comfort. Also, there is a little known secret when it comes to vanilla sex. One that will blow your mind and open your sex life up to a whole new realm of possibilities, whether you’re in a new relationship or have been married for 50 years. Pretend we are in an ice cream shop about to order sundaes. The wall is covered with flavors upon flavors of ice cream choices. The counter is full of toppings and syrups. What flavor of ice cream do you choose? Do you go with an off the wall flavor which will limit your topping choices? Or do you go with vanilla? A neutral, sweet flavor that some view as plain but really is the perfect blank canvas for whatever topping or syrup one desires. The greatest thing about vanilla is the exact reason why most do not like it. Vanilla is plain, simple, known. But, it’s the perfect base for an ice cream sundae because no matter what toppings you add to it, the flavors work in perfect harmony. The same can be said for vanilla sex. The known position, the go to vanilla sex everyone thinks
is boring, is the perfect way to kick off your sexcapade--if you remember to add the toppings. The secret to keeping sex exciting, is remembering to make it exciting. Think of sex as you did the ice cream sundae. You can go all out and immediately hop on top of the pleasure stick, more than likely finishing in a matter of minutes. Or you can start with the vanilla, the go to position and add whichever move, prop, scent, or whipped topping you please. Vanilla sex isn't boring, horrible sex. Vanilla sex has gotten a bad rap because people are forgetting to add onto the experience and enjoyment. Having enjoyable, non-vanilla sex means being open to trying new things, being comfortable and empowered to communicate your wants and desires, likes and dislikes. Having enjoyable sex is empowering yourself to leave your comfortable but “kinda gettin' old” sex routine and trying something you have never tried before. Like any part of a relationship, your sex life is continually changing and evolving. That feeling of vanilla and boredom begins to sink in when you neglect the maintenance required to keep your sex life running smooth. Sex is sex. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. There have been many nights where I've found myself stuck and contorted, far from the position we began in. There have been numerous occasions where there was more laughter than moaning because that way isn't working...OMG! Let's not try that again.
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d d a o t how or v a l F our to y e f i l sex BE SPONTANEOUS. TURN ON THE LIGHTS.
To help those of you who feel like vanilla is ruining your sex palate, I have come up with some tips that will begin to un-vanilla your sex life, get you off your back before the pleasure is over and will make you appreciate just how wonderful vanilla sex can actually be; when you remember to add the unlimited number of toppings.
You're about to have sex. Ignore the selfconfidence issues. Ignore the negative talk in your head. You're about to have sex! Stop thinking about anything but orgasmic thoughts (ok...and Leonardo DiCaprio). Turn on the lights and enjoy the moment...minutes...hours.
INVEST IN CROTCHLESS PANTIES.
To un-vanilla your sex, you must (once in awhile) channel Samantha Jones, not Charlotte York. Do not be afraid of the way your vagina looks. Go online to Burlesque Toy Shop and order yourself a few pairs of lacy, crotchless panties. Let your vagina and all her orgasm inducing glory feel the breeze. Believe me, your partner will enjoy it.
TOYS.
Think 50 Shades of Grey stuff but toned down to reality of what most people have. Pull out your x-large secret lover and use it with your partner. Try that new lube you picked up that’s been hiding in your nightstand drawer. It's time to play, and the more toys you have at the party, the better. And while you're at it, go grab the lightweight scarf you were about to put away until next winter. Scarves make the perfect blindfold or handcuffs.
@sunshinemommy
[110] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
Nothing will be more mundane and vanilla than having sex like robots. Don’t be a sex robot that can only perform the deed at a certain time and place. Change up the sex routine. Do it in the shower. Have a quickie in the laundry room. Go at it on the kitchen counter. Scheduling sex may work for those who have totally stopped having it, but it won’t work if it feels like another thing to mark off the boring, vanilla, to-do list.
FOREPLAY.
You need to be having lots of foreplay and I don't mean the five minutes it takes for you to get in the mood. Foreplay needs to always be happening. Think of foreplay as flirting. Just because you have a partner, doesn't mean you don't have to keep him attracted. Smile that smile. Send a sext. Cook their favorite meal. Make out like teenagers. Hold hands. Be a couple. Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to have sex. Leave your shame, self-doubt and old habits at the door. Be open to trying new toppings. Be open to new positions. Be open to your partner’s desires. Be open to once again enjoying your sex life and embracing the sexual being you once were. Laugh at the missteps. Communicate with your partner. Build a vanilla based fantasy together, one where each hand picks the sinful toppings that make sundaes so damn enjoyable. ■
Dani is a South Florida freelance writer, mom to five and contributor to various websites and publications. On her blog, Suburbia Interrupted, Dani tries to find the balance between politics, life and sex. Sometimes she gets lucky. Sometimes she does not. suburbiainterrupted.com
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5 Tips for Being
By Mina Vaughn
More Dominant in the Bedroom
Some words that come to mind when I think of Indie Chicks: strong, smart, badass, driven. Submissive is not one of these words, but so many ladies these days are taking to the bedroom with handcuffs-and they’re ending up on the wrong set of wrists! Being tied up is so last year. Tying those knots yourself, however, well, that’s another story. I write about domes (women who like to be on top} for a living, so here are some of my secrets for adding some empowerment to your bedroom activities.
[112] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
Assert yourself
Some people have the misconception that, to be a dominant woman, you have to inflict pain and wear leather. False. All you have to do is assert your will over his. Tell him what you want, and I guarantee he’ll be licking your boots. (Hell, if they’re Tory Burch boots, I’d be licking them too, but that’s another story.) Have an in-charge attitude from the start and the rest will fall into place. The phrase “act as if” works in so many avenues of life. If you act as if he’s there for your pleasure, I have a feeling he won’t just go along with it-- he’ll love it.
Trash talk
Ok, even though my next book happens to be about a basketball playing domme, I don’t mean sporty trash talk. I mean taunt him. You don’t have to smack a fella around to get him to listen, tease him with your words. Tell him he’s been bad and he has to pay. Tell him he’s yours and has to
do what you want. I mean, sexily of course. You could be undressing him, or yourself, or simply touching. Don’t do this sort of thing after asking him to do the laundry is all I’m saying. Some women are afraid that being dominant means being a nag-- not the case! It’s all about context and setting the stage for pleasure and your success.
Light bondage
Ok, here’s a beginner’s course if you’re new to this sort of thing. You don’t go out and buy all sorts of kinkery, you can use stuff in your own house! Zip ties make great cuffs, plastic wrap can do wonders and even belts and sashes can make an ordinary roll in the hay something that will burn the barn down. However, if you do end up making a few purchases, I’d say the first thing you should get is vinyl bondage tape, like Burlesque Toy Shop’s Sex & Mischief Bondage Tape. It’s easy to use, sticks to itself and not to hair or skin, and has a million uses. Enjoy each one!
Ok, maybe a little spanking
Let me say this first, there’s a saying in the BDSM world: safe, sane and consensual. This means that any time you play with pain or boundaries, you must proceed with care. If you decide to get into a little of the S and M section after the B and D portion of the evening, start off with some safe words. The easiest are the “streetlight” version-- green for go, yellow for slow down, red for stop. Trust is the number one tenet of a d/s (that’s dom/sub) relationship, and even if you’re not classifying your status that way, it’s important to know. Anyway, once you’ve moved past the rules, here are some fun ideas. To spank, all you need is your hand, but what about a spatula? I mean, wash it before your next pancakes session, of course, but it can be a really nice flat and flexible surface for smacking. Or, how about blindfolding him and alternating ice and hot wax on his body? The confusion is deliciously wicked and he’ll beg for it again. And begging isn’t a bad thing, right?
Make him work for it
The most important lesson here is that being dominant means you get what you want. But you don’t have to make it easy for him. Challenge him to earn his pleasure. Give him tasks to do and if he doesn’t perform, well, tough cookies. Have him get you off (maybe twice!) and then have to work for his release. It makes you feel like you’ve got him in the palm of your hand, which, well, might literally be the case. It will put him in the mindset that you are a treasure and he has to work to be worthy. Because you are. So there they are, five small tricks to revamp your bedroom routine. If you’re nervous the first time trying this, don’t worry! It’s all about attitude, act as if you’re in charge and I can see him melting already. Maybe throw on high heels and some black panties to set the right tone. Perhaps you could surprise him with a sexy scenario while he’s at work. Describe how he’ll have to please his mistress and include a pic of one of your high heels and one of his ties. (Do not include the spatula.) If you’re having trouble getting in the zone, maybe start reading some domme-centric books! Mine are How to Discipline Your Vampire if you like paranormals, and my upcoming How to Reprimand Your Rock Star is a new adult contemporary romance. The Mistress Manual by Mistress Lorelei can help you gain confidence while learning to dominate as well! Regardless of how you start, I want you to feel empowered and sexy, so go out and have some kinky fun!■ @minavaughn Kink with a wink! Mina Vaughn is an international woman of mystery and a shoe whore with a heart of gold. She writes fun erotica that puts women on top and is published by Simon and Schuster. minavaughn.com
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Business Chick
Self-Education is Natural Curiosity is human nature. the hunger for education is built within you. and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Not necessarily the hunger for a college degree. [114] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
by: Chiara Mazzucco
I’m talking about every time you ‘Google’ something
and every time you ask someone a question when you’re interested in what they’re talking about. Heck, every time you listen to someone talk about something, you’re educating yourself on that particular topic. Curiosity is a very interesting and natural thing that, in my opinion, has been tainted by academia. Now, don’t get me wrong here: I really loved school before I dropped out and I definitely see the value in attending,
especially when your career depends on acquiring a degree on that subject. I just think that sometimes, the pressure to be educated can stomp on our natural inclination to learn. There were so many things that intrigued me about school, especially when I was free to take miscellaneous classes to fulfill my credit needs. But because I was busy growing up, circumstances forced me to prioritize my days and there would be times that I’d show up to class unprepared because I had chosen to have sex and go to a concert the night before instead of studying for a test.
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“That’s what I think happens to our natural curiosity. It is squished to death by grades, degrees, and other forms of pressure that turn it into an obligation, when the desire to learn something new is actually something pretty amazing” Both that test and that concert were important experiences to have, in different ways, but in that particular case, I chose the latter. Did that mean I didn’t care about evolutionary mate selection? No, I cared, in fact I continued to care for many years later and still continue to write and read about the topic every chance I get. The only difference, had I chosen to study over shagging, it would have been me speed-reading and regurgitating material in order to ‘pass’ the class. My point is, craving knowledge is a very different concept than the act of going to school. Sure, there’s a lot to learn in school, but do I necessarily need someone to guide me through reading a textbook? Do I need someone telling me I didn’t ‘study’ hard enough? When really, it’s a little more like I didn’t ‘memorize’ enough. Maybe that’s why so many entrepreneurs never finished college. Maybe they realized they could learn more of what they needed to know on their own time - i.e. after they’d danced and shagged - and that they could more readily apply their newfound knowledge to whatever, whenever they needed to.
Feed Your Inner Question Mark Whether or not you actually finished college or dropped out to live in your parent’s basement, there is still a little flame of curiosity - untouched by society’s pressure - burning bright inside of you. Should you ever feel like life lacks purpose, look within and blast that baby up so hot it burns your insides. Keeping in line with life being a path to self-discovery and the result of a bunch of experiences and adventures varying in size, why wouldn’t you want to go and explore things that already interest you, but you know little about? You can’t read a book about astrology because your brain is so burned out from your 9 to 5 that you just want to turn it off and watch some bad reality TV? And what if you die tomorrow? That’d be a rad way to spend your last day on earth. There is so much to learn in this world and it’s a shame that curiosity has been tainted by
[116] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
semesters, letter grades, and a constant stream of tests to measure your ability to memorize lectures. Not to mention, there is nothing sexier than a well-rounded, well-versed woman, and when you train your curiosity muscle and get comfortable educating yourself on new topics, you’ll be a lot more flexible and relatable during social interactions. I’m not saying you need to wake up tomorrow and go to the library and from here on out live your life as an explorer who questions everything. Turning off and just being in a state of peace is healthy too. However, do you have any idea how much you’d be capable of if you gave into your natural sense of wonder? Life would be a heck of a lot more pleasurable, I’ll tell you that.
So What Now? Lucky for you, it’s 2014. Questions, answers and education, in general, are all at your fingertips. You have complete control over what you learn and have direct access, as close as your smartphone, to educate yourself on whatever topics you’re interested in learning about. You can access websites, take free online courses, watch tutorials and
download apps. You can walk to the nearest bookstore and without pulling out your wallet, you can spend all day walking up and down the aisles reading the backs of books. And what better time than right after summer, when Fall semester starts for students everywhere? You have to make a conscious effort to make time for curiosity and for your imagination, because without them you are just a little robot, living your days in stagnant air. You were built to explore, to learn and to grow and with all the resources out there, there’s absolutely no reason you should opt to turn your brain off every night to watch reality TV. Do yourself a favor and make this life worth living. There is so much beauty in the world and so many lessons left behind by those who have already lived it. There is history to admire, a future to ponder, and a present to solve. If you die tomorrow, die knowing you read that astrology book.■
Tips: Try coursera.org, iTunes University, or browse the web for tutorials on things you want to learn to do. Do a top 3 lists of things you want to learn and every time you cross one off, add another.
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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9 KEYS I
f you’ve never been someone’s boss before, odds are you want to do a good job. If you have been a boss, there are always areas you can improve upon. Being a boss doesn’t mean getting to boss others around, or trying to get everyone to like you. It means that you’re in charge of making sure those under you are doing the best job possible.
When you’re put in charge for the first time, suddenly you’re responsible for the actions of others. If something goes wrong, it’s on you. How can you not only refrain from letting the power go to your head, but be an awesome boss too? [118] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
Being a woman boss has its own set of challenges. If you’re too nice, they look at you like a pushover and won’t respect you. If you’re too harsh, well then you’re a total bitch. Creating a balance between firm, fair and fun can be quite difficult, especially when you’ve never managed anyone before. There are many different management styles out there, but which is the most effective? Which suits you? These nine tips will find you on the fast track to being an awesome and effective boss.
TO BEING
by: Chrystal Rose
a Great Boss
EMPOWER VS. MICROMANAGE
Do you enjoy having someone hover over your shoulder, asking you what you’re working on every five minutes? Yeah, I didn’t think so. When you micromanage or are constantly on top of your team, you create an environment of bitterness, hostility and you essentially stifle them. In order to have the most productive team possible, you want them to be happy. Loosen your grip on the leash a bit. Ask them for their input and ideas. Allow them to contribute to the creative process and assist in solving problems—rather than just assigning tasks. They will work harder knowing that their input matters.
REMOVE YOUR EGO Don’t disregard someone because you outrank them. You may not always have the best, most efficient way of going about things. If one of your employees has an idea that’s better than yours, swallow that pride and go with it! You don’t want to get trapped in the mindset that you know everything. You can learn something from everyone, no matter what your age or how smart you are. Don’t be afraid to own your shit either. If you screw up, tell them—and then tell them how you plan to fix it. They’ll respect you that much more for being real and will learn to own up to their mistakes and create solutions in order to fix them.
BE CLEAR Nothing makes a boss harder to please than when they give unclear directives. If there are specific things you want delivered, you
must be specific. Make sure they understand everything that is expected of them — if there is room for creative license, say so. If not, make sure they know that. Also, give accurate and attainable deadlines so that the assigned tasks are finished in time. Always give yourself time to look everything over before passing along to your boss, or putting it out there for outside eyes to see.
EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT Managing others will soon lead you to see that everyone responds to criticism differently. While it’s “fair” to treat everyone the same, you will not get the best out of your team if you give everyone cookie cutter treatment. Some people need tough love, they need you to call them out and demand better. Others may completely retreat into their shell if you do that. They may require a softer touch. It takes some time to learn how everyone reacts and responds but a good boss is intuitive and eventually learns what makes each of their team members tick.
KUDOS Give them freely. If a job was done well, make sure everyone involved knows it. Saying thank you and dishing out “Atta girls” often, makes you pleasant to work for. Your employees will feel appreciated and will want to work harder for you.
PAY WELL You may have zero control over the payroll, and your leash may be short when giving out raises and that’s understandable. But if you have control over this, make sure you pay people their true worth. This is part of making people feel appreciated. If they sense
you’re screwing them on purpose, or you aren’t willing to be competitive, they’ll feel expendable and may not care if they do a good job or not.
LEAD BY EXAMPLE Toss the “Do as I say, not as I do” adage out the window. You won’t be respected if you don’t follow your own rules. If you want your team to act a certain way, you have to show them. If you want them to work long hours, you need to as well. Show them that you’re willing to get your hands dirty and that you aren’t better than them just because you’re their boss.
MAKE IT FUN While work is “serious” no one wants to work in a miserable environment. The best bosses make work a fun environment. So whether you call in a food truck for lunch once in awhile, play games to get their brains pumping, or just encourage a light, playful atmosphere, you will increase moral and overall production.
GIVE BACK Do you have someone who is just awesome? Champion them, mentor them and help them push their career along. Pass on your praise to the higher ups and write great performance reviews for them. Too many bosses are afraid their predecessors will surpass them if they build them up when in reality you look like you’re doing a great job because the people under you are thriving. Great employees make you look good. After all, your success depends on theirs.■
THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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The World Does NOT Need More Dreamers by: Leah McKendrick
i live in Hollywood, the most infamously oversaturated town of
T
dreamers on the planet. Everyone from your barista, to your Uber driver, and even your yoga instructor has a script, a headshot, or a demo CD that they are anxious to slip you. To some, this is revolting. As an actress/singer myself, it’s a constant reminder of the colossal amount of competition I face.
here’s a famine in Hollywood. There isn’t enough work to go round and everyone is rabidly clamoring for every last crumb. I’m sure you’ve seen enough America’s Next Top Model to know that when people get hungry, they get bitchy. A couple of years ago, the cold hard truth started to set in: Sitting in my room tearfully asking the heavens WHY I was not “making it” wasn’t helping. Dreaming up all the killer music videos I was going to make someday, was not leading to anything more than feeling antsy and frustrated. When I poured out my guts in acting class, blathering about how tough it is to work so hard and feel like you’re going in circles my teacher said,
The problem with a big dream, is that too many people approach it the same way they do romantic love. They think that someday, it’s just going to happen. Knight in shining armor, Prince Charming, Ryan effing Gosling, is going to appear out of thin air and sweep you off your feet and you will live happily ever after, in your Hollywood Hills castle. YOU’LL BE DISCOVERED! Here’s the truth: for some lucky bitches, that will actually happen. Maybe you know one of these women. Maybe you ARE one of these women. Hey girl, power to ya!
“Stop acting like this world owes you something.”
Getting up at 6am because your day job starts at 9, but you have to finish that chapter of your memoir that no one is waiting for. Leaving your hometown and family to go to Manhattan because that’s where your nonpaying yet awesome internship is awaiting
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For the rest of us, there’s something the universe is going to demand of you before you can win that Pulitzer/manufacture that toy/ design that fashion line: action.
you. Sending in that resume every couple months and calling the annoyed secretary to follow up, until they finally give in and agree to an interview. All of that takes action and persistence. For me personally, that meant writing/ producing/starring in my own damn musical because I couldn’t, for the life of me, get on Glee. Seriously, how many times have you heard someone say, “I’ve got this really great idea for (insert invention/movie/song/recipe)”? Can you imagine if everyone who had a brilliant idea was undaunted by the foreseen challenges of actually creating said piece of epicness? I wouldn’t be standing around for 40 minutes while I try to curl my super thick, annoying hair! I could eat vegetarian bacon that actually tastes like bacon! I could wear a strapless bra that doesn’t make me want to kill myself! (Seriously, someone really needs to work on that.)
This world does NOT need more dreamers, it needs more doers. You may be talented, brilliant, and have the great voice of our time, but you’re not doing anyone any favors by talking a big one and then sitting on your couch watching American Idol, laughing at all the talentless hacks (I am guilty of this, too). At least they had the guts to get up there! I’m no Angelina, but I’m proud to say that I’ve finally become a dreamer that’s also a doer. I’ve stopped waiting to be discovered; stopped treating the world as though it owes me something just for showing up. If I get a great idea for a script, I write it. Cool idea for a music video? I shoot it. Am I afraid to fail? Always.
Do I think sometimes I suck and don’t have what it takes? Absolutely. Do I get tired, cynical, angry, defeated? All the damn time. But, I also get results because I don’t stop. If I waited around for auditions and bookings, I’d have a lot of time on my hands to cry! This industry, this town, this country, and this world is dog-eat-dog. If you’re nothing but a hopeless dreamer you will be devoured for breakfast by the Mark Zuckerbergs, the Malala’s, and the young Oprah freaking Winfrey’s of the world. It’s very cozy in our homes with just our lofty dreams and ourselves, and it’s quite poetic to quote Lennon and pat ourselves on the backs for keeping the dreaming alive. But the reality is, all the revolutionary inventions we use every day, the crusades that changed our daily lives for the better, began with people who went out on a limb and often times were ostracized because of their dream. Rosa Parks, Shakespeare, Jesus, Ellen DeGeneres.
In this world, it’s much easier just being a dreamer; but it’s much more rewarding, for everyone when you make the decision to become a doer. So please, write that novel and self-publish it. Start that business in your apartment and nurture it. Pitch that crazy idea and fight for it. And when it gets hard, because chances are it’s going to, keep going. Society needs you to become an active dreamer. Take it from me; things will start getting a hell of a lot more interesting when you do.■ @LeaMckendrick Leah is an actress and singer living in Los Angeles. She often writes and produces and is creator of the award winning musical web series, "Destroy the Alpha Gammas" (youtube.com/leahmckendrick). When she isn't auditioning, writing or making web content, she contemplates doing a juice cleanse and watches Scandal and cat videos. THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Lifestyle
plan
the
[PERFECT]
Summer Party by: Chrystal Rose
Who doesn’t love summer parties? I’m not talking about the “sit around the bonfire with solo cups” or 4th of July family kind of parties. I mean the kind where you host, decorate and invite your grown up friends, just to celebrate the warm summer air and each other’s company. Those are the kind of parties that summer is made for. When I’m not running things at the IC, I’m running a marketing company that specializes in event planning. While I focus mainly on saving corporate guys from being bored to tears during presentations, I’ve been know to host a successful soiree or two.
[122] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
The Guest List
The Scene
Deciding whom you will invite to a party could be a bit anxiety provoking. Maybe you have several groups of friends that don’t know each other and maybe you don’t want to leave anyone out. If you’ve never had a party before you don’t want to invite too many people. Small gatherings work best if you want to stimulate conversation over great food and cocktails. So be thoughtful with your list and invite a handful of people you think will enjoy the others’ company. If you’re looking to go all out then go ahead and invite everyone you want. Keep in mind you’ll need to make adjustments for food, drinks and rather than one main conversation you’re looking at several clusters of conversers (and maybe even some dancing?).
The Food A great party has great food. So, if you want people to talk about your party, make sure the food you serve is top notch. Some tips: Choose simple, fresh recipes. If you plan to serve more than one course, limit to 2-3 appetizers, a salad, 2 entrée choices and a delicious dessert. If you plan to have a theme, try to integrate the theme into your dishes (i.e. serving pineapple glazed pork is perfect for a luau.) Grill. If you’re having a summer party, are dining al fresco and don’t use the grill—you’re doing it wrong! If you’re a terrible cook, enlist a friend’s help, hire a caterer or get a local restaurant to cater in the food.
The Décor
When hosting a party it’s important to set the scene. You want to sort of transport your guests while keeping it familiar at the same time. You also want to make sure that your home is clean and don’t want to overdo the décor.
3 words: Keep. It. Simple. You do not want it to look like a circus clown vomited a piñata full of multicolored daiquiris all over your party. (Unless that’s your theme, in which case— weird but hey go for it.) While a theme isn’t necessary, it’s always fun to do. Some great ones to try are luau, nautical, tropical beach getaway or even a “Christmas in July” theme. Whatever you choose, pick 2 or 3 colors to run with and thread them through your décor.
If you have a patio or a backyard, I highly suggest hosting your party there. There is simply nothing like dining al fresco and chatting with great friends in the warm summer air. If outside isn’t available but you have ample space indoors—try transforming the room a bit with décor and maybe opening the windows to catch a breeze.
SOME PIECES TO CONSIDER: Tablescape: Place settings, centerpieces, linens, glassware, serving dishes Scenery: Tiki torches, white Christmas lights, balloons
The Drinks
The Help
While it’s standard to stock the usual beer and wine, rather than opening up your liquor cabinet, why not serve a refreshing cocktail or two? There are so many light, delicious cocktails crafted especially for summer out there (Hint: Search Pinterest). It’s also super easy to pre-make them and store them in containers with a spout for easy self-serving later.
Hosting a party, even a small one can be a lot of work, so make sure you’re accepting and asking for help when you need it. Really, there’s no need to allow yourself to get stressed over something that’s supposed to be enjoyable. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking a friend or two to pick something up for you, bring dessert or even play DJ or bartender.
Want More Tips? Check out these amazing accounts! KARA’S PARTY IDEA’S .COM
+10,071 Pins + 131,294 Followers karaspartyideas
CATCH MY PARTY
+27,179 Pins
+179,690 Followers catchmyparty
MISS IN THE KITCHEN
+7,079 pins
+10,373 followers missnthekitchen
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+Hot Summer [Reads] Brought to you by Indie Chick Lit
Whether you’re craving humor, scandal, suspense, self-help, romance or career inspiration while you read by the pool, Indie Chick Lit has the books you absolutely MUST read this summer. xcerpt Read an e page! on the ne xt HOW TO REPRIMAND YOUR ROCKSTAR
UNFAITHFULLY YOURS: CONFESSIONS OF A CHEATING BITCH
by Mina Vaughn
by Chrystal Rose*
This sexy, fun, “girl on top” romance will make you blush (but don’t worry, the sun will hide the flush in your cheeks!)
If you like reading her articles, you’ll LOVE her book. Honest, sexy and downright ridiculous at times, you’ll be left wishing for a sequel.
PERHAPS I’VE SAID TOO MUCH: A GREAT BIG BOOK OF MESSING WITH PEOPLE
by Rodney Lacroix If you’re easily amused and love to laugh, this book written by one of our favorite Indie Dicks is perfect for you.
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FEAR NOTHING
by Lisa Gardner A suspenseful crime novel with a kickass female protagonist. If Kate White approves, you know you need to check it out.
#GIRLBOSS
by Sophia Amoruso An inspiring book by a woman who went from having practically nothing to running a multimillion dollar clothing company.
THE 9 MIRAGES OF LOVE: HOW TO STOP CHASING WHAT DOESN’T EXIST
by Chiara Mazzucco * In a toxic relationship? Want something you can’t have? Chiara takes the same no-bullshit attitude you love in her articles, and applies it to real life, toxic romance. *For signed copies of books written by The Indie Chicks, order them straight from our store! shopindiechicks.com
How to Reprimand Your Rockstar by Mina Vaughn
EXCLUSIVE EXCERPT In this fun and saucy romance novel, all-star college basketball player Thea dominates on the courts—and off—with a rock star who is determined to win her over.
©iStock.com/ william87
Thea is a star basketball player at UConn on track to be Rookie of the Year. That is, if she can stay focused on the game. Lately that hasn’t been going so well, as her knee has been bothering her. But that’s not the only thing on her mind. Ever since rock star Keaton Lowe surprised her in the girl’s locker room, Thea can’t stop thinking about him. On top of his status and enticing ways, he seems to know everything about her. But some of his actions cross the line, and Keaton needs to be punished. Will Thea keep her head in the game, or get distracted by her other favorite pastime— reprimanding her rock star? THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Set up: College basketball star, Thea, is surprised in her locker room after a shower.
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he tall, gorgeous man stared at me with a smirk. Some fucking punk, sitting under my name and number and pulling a cigarette out of his thick leather jacket. He looked bad, dangerous, and delicious and my body reacted to seeing him with a jolt of fear and euphoria. I skittered back and covered my nakedness, hoping he hadn’t seen me fully naked. I peeked around the corner to get another look at him. I couldn’t help myself. His blue eyes twinkled at me and he grinned. A lopsided, roguish grin that begged you to join him in sharing the mirth. But I wasn’t about to smile at this fool who was taking up residence in front of my locker. Especially while I was naked. He didn’t look like a student—a few years too old and a few
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drinks too seasoned, and from the rebellious appearance of his black-polished fingers and calloused hands. His hair, a mess of black roots and blue spikes arranged into a halo of sharp peaks, didn’t look very UConn at all. He looked as if he belonged in a tattoo parlor, not here in my locker room. For a moment, I imagined shoving him against the tile wall and punishing him for transgressing into my domain. “It’s all right, love, I have your towel right here,” I heard him tease in a smoky, tempting voice. My heart raced. All I had to do was scream loud enough and Matt would be down here in a flash. I didn’t want to, but it was an option. Just keep it together. Keeping my nude form out of his sight, I shouted to the intruder. “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” A white towel sailed my way and I stuck my
wet arm out to grab it. I wiped myself off and discreetly examined the very bad boy who was about to stink up my precious domain. “I needed a butt,” he said, placing a cigarette between his mocking lips. His sexy, curvy lips that went so well with his stubbly jaw and sharp features. Shit, what was wrong with me? He was invading my turf. He was also unashamedly checking me out from head to toe. “Take your butt and get out of my locker room,” I growled. With a flick of his fingers, the unlit cigarette disappeared. I assumed up his leather jacket’s sleeve, but I couldn’t be sure. His leather pants were far too tight to hide a cigarette, and I caught myself staring. Under his leather jacket was a threadbare tee that hugged his lean muscles tightly. I wanted him to take the jacket off. Hell, all of it. “Whatever you say, Goddess,” he replied.
I noted a slight accent, but couldn’t place it. Possibly British. “Is this seat taken?” he asked, looking behind him at the name on the nameplate and the name embroidered on my jacket. I emerged, pretending to be unfettered by the whole bizarre situation, and nodded. “That’s my locker.” “Is it now?” he asked, British accent coming through clearly now. “Thea Papastathopoulos, future Rookie of the Year, and I need my clothes. And my lucky tape.” His eyebrow quirked up. “Tape, eh? What’s a nice girl like you need something like that for?” I hugged the towel closer to me and tried not to join in his contagious grin. He was such a scamp, this carefree weirdo sitting in the women’s locker room, about to light up. “What’s wrong with tape?” I didn’t notice his hand reaching around to my supply, but within seconds he was holding my lucky roll in his right hand. “This stuff is far too naughty for a good girl like you. A goddess of war and wisdom.” I felt my mouth dry up at the oddly accurate yet strange observation. I am a classics major, and Thea is short for Athena. “I need it for my knee,” I said, holding out my hand, keeping my towel pinned with my armpit. “I have some big games coming up. We made it to the tournament.” I nearly clutched my head with embarrassment. How would a punk like this know what the tournament was, or the significance of it? I was making myself out to be an idiot, but I didn’t care. I didn’t go for his type, the gothic, pierced, tattooed kind of guy. Normally. “I like games,” he said, tossing the roll into the air and catching it behind him with a flourish. “And yet you clearly don’t respect rules, given that you were about to smoke in our locker room.” He waved his hand dismissively. “You going to show me how you use this tape, Goddess? Although I admit I’d rather see it binding my wrists rather than wrapped around your pretty knee.” I reached forward and attempted to take the roll, but he just tossed it in the air again and caught it in his other hand before I could take a swipe. He shrugged off his leather jacket and exposed his muscular arms, which were ensleeved in tattoos. Not wanting to stare, but unable to stop myself, I admired the artwork. Swirling waves up his left arm, words spiraling his right. I had no idea what to make of him, other than the fact that he annoyed me with his don’t-give-a-fuck attitude and absurd hotness I wanted so badly to ignore. Maybe it was just my nakedness that was making my body think this way. And by that I meant slamming him Published by Simon and Schuster Pocket Star 2014
against the tiles under the water’s spray and relieving him of his leather. I felt my heart pound and I rejected the fantasy. He was an intruder. How did this guy get past security if they stopped me? I leaned toward him. “My friend upstairs, Matt, is a security guard. All I have to do is call up to him and he’ll be hauling your punk ass out of here. But I won’t do that if you just give me my goddamn tape so I can fix my bum knee and get home to watch the game.” I wasn’t about to ask him about my clothes, so I pretended I was totally cool with being in a towel and waited for his response. He studied me for a moment, all sexy grin and naughty blue eyes. Baby blue, like the color of clothes you buy a newborn. Powder blue, impossibly clear. Ringed with a smudge of black liner, the color popped even more. And his face, despite being in his twenties or maybe even thirties, had a youthful, almost kiddish quality when he smiled that softened the harsh angles of his nose, cheeks, and jaw. He tossed me the tape. “What’s your name?” I asked, curiosity overtaking my anger. “Keaton Lowe,” he said, dipping his voice an octave as he said his last name. He looked at me expectantly. I stared back, hot breath flooding in and out of my nostrils. “Well,” he said, stretching his toned arms and lacing them behind his head, “this tape isn’t going to bind itself.” I wanted to wring his neck but kiss the smile off his mouth. “What are you talking about?!” “I might as well do it myself,” he said, and turned away from me. He spun and showed me his handiwork—his wrists were taped together behind his head. My body reacted with a flood of tingles from my hairline down to my panty line. Had I been wearing any, that is. I looked down. My tape was no longer in my hands. My body took over my mind and I stood over him, looking down at him through a cascade of damp brown curls. “Have a seat,” he rasped. Some primal part of me wanted to sit my bare legs down on his lanky, leatherclad body. I wanted to get rough with him, pin him down, and have my way with him. Another part of me didn’t want him bossing me around. It should be the other way. “No, you stand,” I replied. His blue eyes sparked and he met my request with a smile that left me dazed and breathless. I felt the towel slide incrementally down. “I’m glad you want to call the shots, darling.” I placed my hand on his chest. “Don’t call me darling.” “Goddess, then.”■
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Plan the ULTIMATE Road Trip by: Julie Zantopoulos
“A person needs at intervals to separate from family and companions and go to new places. One must go without familiars in order to be open to influences, to change.” -Katharine Butler Hathaway
[128] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
I AM THE QUEEN OF ROAD TRIPS, and by
Queen I mean I love them, I take them as often as possible, and rarely have a solid mapped out plan. Don’t get me wrong, not having a rigid schedule when you are road trippin’ doesn’t mean you’re wandering around blindly. There are a lot of great ways to be flexible and still make sure you aren’t hacked to bits in a hostel. For me the idea of a road trip is romantic, full of possibilities, and speaks to the wanderer’s spirit in me. The calling to get in a car and drive away from my home is as strong as the
one that calls me to write. It is a part of me, a part that I love indulging when I can. These are my tips for a badass road trip.
GET YOUR CAR CHECKED It’s not the most exciting of steps but nothing should take place before this happens. The first time I took a solo road trip, my father demanded that I take my car to the shop and I scoffed. I thought my car was fine, but thank goodness I went, because I had a loose belt and low coolant. Since then, I’ve never gone on a road trip without getting my car checked, a fresh oil change, and my fluids topped off. You wouldn’t want to get on a plane that hadn’t been checked over, so don’t get in a car without checking, or you risk being broken down in the middle of a hillbilly town where they covet your teeth or will try to eat you for dinner or something.
BE PREPARED Make sure you have emergency essentials in your car. A jack, a spare tire (not a donut- a spare), road flares, cones, water, a blanket, and an extra quart of oil. After getting your car checked hopefully you won’t need any of those things, but you can NEVER be too prepared and it takes up minimal room in your trunk or hatch if you get one of those emergency kits. They’re worth having.
APP IT There are tons of apps that you can use with your smart phone to make your road trip absolutely epic! They can help you find obscure landmarks, great historical sites, hotels, places to eat, bars, and even track your trip like a digital scrapbook. A lot are free and should be taken advantage of. Some of my favorites are:
Roadside America: Great for incredibly obscure but hilarious stops. I should know, it’s how I got a picture with the world’s 2nd largest garden gnome! Roadtrippers: Will show you small businesses and attractions you can stop at. Postagram: Will update family and friends as to where you are with custom postcards. Road Ninja: Can tell you the area gas stations (and prices), food, drinks, and attractions. The Traveler: A virtual scrapbook of where you’ve been and what you’ve done.
HAVE A GENERAL MAP You don’t have to know all your stops but you should have a beginning and end point, and at least one solid date and location in the middle where you can check in with everyone. Otherwise, I think it’s fun to leave yourself open to wherever the road takes you. Just make sure that you have a general idea of your end point so that you don’t end up going MIA for a week with everyone at home wondering if they have to send the cavalry after you.
The heavier the car the more gas you have to use, so pack smart. That means knowing your general route, the weather along the way, and packing clothes, car snacks, and any other essentials wisely. Just because you have a car’s worth of space doesn’t mean you need to jam it full. As women, we over pack by trait, so as a rule you can take out 2 pairs of shoes, 2 pants/shorts, and 3 tops. BUT, pack more underwear… cause you never know.
COMFORTS OF HOME Speaking of packing, be sure to pack a little bit of home with you. If you are sleeping in different hotels, hostels, friends or families houses, or even in your car (not recommended) it is always nice to have your own pillow with you. Personally, I love my body pillow and it comes with me whenever I travel. Maybe for you it’s a throw blanket or a room spray, but bring something that reminds you of home and you’ll sleep better in all those strange places.
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CO-PILOT One of the most crucial decisions you have to make when you head out on your road trip is whether you’re going solo or taking a co-pilot with you. With a co-pilot you can split the driving responsibilities, which is nice, but it comes with it’s own set of challenges. Not everyone makes a good co-pilot. Your loud friend who loves to dance at clubs with you, yeah she’s probably an awful co-pilot. Your co-worker with a tendency to gossip and complain… do you really want to be in the car with her for 8 hours? You’re going to want somebody with a laid back attitude, the ability to go with the flow, who enjoys the same type of music as you and who you can have great conversation with, or happily sit in silence. Picking a great copilot can make a great trip amazing or an amazing trip awful, so use caution.
PLAYLIST For me the highlight of a road trip is the playlist! You have your classic rock, your ‘wake you up and cheer you up in traffic’ house music, and the 80s to car dance to. You don’t want to be putting your music on shuffle and falling asleep to Enya while navigating back roads at night. Your playlist sets the tone of your trip. Note: If you’re not big on music then grab some of your must read books from audible.com and let somebody read you a book while you drive!
MEET UPS Use this as a chance to meet up with friends you’ve become close with through social media but never met. Set up stops along the way where you can meet up with new friends and turn some virtual friendships into real ones—be sure to take selfies and tag #indiechick if you do.
RECORD IT Speaking of selfies, please remember that living in the moment is awesome but you’ll want memories when you are back at your desk in 2 weeks. So take pictures, post vine videos and Facebook videos, or blog about it while on the road. When you create memories it’s always nice to have something tangible to look back on too.
[130] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
No matter where you decide to travel this summer remember that the open road is there for you, there are adventures to be had and things to see. Get out there girl, and see your world. Road trippin’ is a badass way to expand your horizons and inspire yourself. ■
SUMMER CONCERTS PHILADELPHIA, PA
LINDSEY STIRLING [ELECTRIC FACTORY] 6/23 MILEY CYRUS [WELLS FARGO CENTER] 8/2 KATY PERRY [WELLS FARGO CENTER] 8/4 ONE DIRECTION [LINCOLN FINANCIAL CENTER] 8/13, 8/14 LUKE BRYAN [LINCOLN FINANCIAL CENTER] 8/15
NEW YORK, NY LINDSEY STIRLING [TERMINAL 5] 6/18 KATY PERRY [MADISON SQUARE GARDEN] 7/9 BRUNO MARS [MADISON SQUARE GARDEN] 7/14, 7/15 LUKE BRYAN [MADISON SQUARE GARDEN] 9/12
SEATTLE, WA VANS WARPED TOUR [WHITE RIVER AMPHITHEATER] 6/28 TORI AMOS [PARAMOUNT THEATRE] 7/17 KATY PERRY [TACOMA DOME] 9/13
CHICAGO, IL BRUNO MARS [FIRST MIDWEST BANK] 6/20 LADY GAGA [UNITED CENTER] 7/11 TORI AMOS [CHICAGO THEATER] 8/5 KATY PERRY [UNITER CENTER] 8/7,8/8 MILEY CYRUS [UNITED CENTER] 8/14
BOSTON, MA LINDSEY STIRLING [HOUSE OF BLUES] 6/17 AVICII [TD GARDEN] 6/25 LADY GAGA [TD GARDEN] 6/30 BRUNO MARS [TD GARDEN] 7/2 JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE [TD GARDEN] 7/19 KATY PERRY [TD GARDEN] 8/1
CHARLOTTE, NC 6/27 7/23 7/28 8/22 9/27
Since we love summertime concerts, we’ve listed some main stream concerts you may not want to miss this summer! FILLMORE]
LINDSEY STIRLING [THE FALL OUT BOY & PARAMORE [PNC MUSIC PAVILLION] VANS WARPED TOUR [PNC MUSIC PAVILLION] KEITH URBAN [PNC MUSIC PAVILLION] ONE DIRECTION [PNC MUSIC PAVILLION]
LOS ANGELES, CA 7/21,7/22 LADY GAGA [STAPLES CENTER] 8/12 JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE [STAPLES CENTER] 9/19,9/20 KATY PERRY [STAPLES CENTER] 10/25 LUKE BRYAN [HOLLYWOOD BOWL]
DALLAS, TX 7/12 LINDSEY STIRLING [SOUTH SIDE BALLROOM] 8/1 VANS WARPED TOUR [GEXA ENERGY PAVILLION] 8/5 FALL OUT BOY & PARAMORE [GEXA ENERGY PAVILLION]
FLORIDA 6/14, 6/15 FLORIDA COUNTRY SUPERFEST [EVERBANK FIELD] 7/3 KATY PERRY [AMERICAN AIRLINES ARENA] 7/5 LINDSEY STIRLING [SUNSET COVE AMPHITHEATER] 7/27 VANS WARPED TOUR [CENTRAL FLORIDA FAIRGROUNDS] 8/29 GULF COAST JAM (3 DAYS)[FRANK BROWN PARK]
LAS VEGAS, NV 7/10-7/13 NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK [PLANET HOLLYWOOD]
We may not have listed all the tour stops for your favorite artists (or maybe missed some artists altogether), so be sure to check websites like Livenation.com to see who’s playing near you.
Why them? LADY GAGA
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE
LINDSEY STIRLING
If you’ve never seen Gaga live—you must. Not only does she puts on one hell of a show, but she also actively inspires you while she’s on stage. You’ll leave not wanting to be more like her, but wanting to be more like yourself.
Swoon. Really. If you have a chance to see him, you’d better. He dances, he sings and makes you grateful he brought sexy back, back.
If you love being entertained this dancing, dubstep violinist is sure to not only deliver something different, but is also wildly entertaining and worth going to see. If you only attend a single concert this summer— make it this one.
BRUNO MARS This adorable guy is a serious entertainer. If you thought his half-time performance this year was amazing, wait until you see what he does with an arena all to himself!
©iStock.com/ dwphotos
MILEY CYRUS After being hospitalized, Miley will make up the 6 shows she had to reschedule in August. Love her or hate her—her show is going to kick ass.
NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK Go. See. Them. NKOTB went from entertaining little girls 25 years ago, to successfully being able to entertain women. They are still sexy, they still have the music and they definitely still have the moves.
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5
IndieChick Artists you need to know
by: Marisa Lyon In the world of music, Beyonce, Rihanna and Lady Gaga are names you see and hear countless times per day. And for good reason! They are badass women sharing their strength, boldness, and multi-talented abilities with the world. But in an industry oversaturated with the same names and genres infinitely repeated on the radio, tv, and social media, millions of quality artists and musicians don’t have a clear path to the surface from the ever-expanding musical abyss. Plunging deep into that pool, these are five female artists that you not only should know, but NEED to know. Let these powerful, talented ladies dazzle you with their voices. You’re guaranteed to have a better day with their tunes pulsating through your speakers.
@DailyIndieDose_ Marisa is a writer and music addict who loves to combine her passion for the two. Immersed in the indie music world, she keeps up to date on news and releases and is currently in the process of starting her own music website. fate423.wordpress.com
Charlotte OC
rae morris Rae Morris is only 19-years-old. I repeat NINETEEN. At 19, I was getting drunk at keg parties and watching the sunrise as I walked back to my dorm. Luckily, the Blackpool songstress isn’t following in my footsteps, having already released 3 EPs last year. A breath of fresh air, her elegant vocals and symphonic soundscapes will hush your worries and calm your nerves. Though still in her youth, the maturity in her sound is familiar and comforting, with lyrics that cut to the bone. Innocence and grace melt from each note like droplets of snow under the warm dawn of a new day. Recommended Songs: “From Above” and “Grow” Best listened to: Winding down after a long day or imagining the highs and lows of your life in a dramatic movie reel.
broods I’ve never been to New Zealand but I can imagine it’s as close to perfection as one can get. A place where blue skies and majestic mountains extend down into sparkling seas. And apparently it’s exploding with musical talent as well! Emerging from the limelight shadows of 2013 Grammy winner Lorde, Georgia and Caleb Nott are the newest New Zealand sensation creating electro-pop magic. The brother/sister duo’s chillwave folktronica is universally appealing, combining Georgia’s mesmerizing vocals with a hazy, dream-like atmosphere. Broods self-titled EP, released in February of this year, was a stellar debut for the electro-pop duo. It’s quite startling how mature and complex their music is for two artists just at the birth of their careers, but that just makes it all the more exciting for what is to come from this dynamic pair.
Charlotte OC’s empowering 2013 EP, Colour My Heart, subconsciously begs you to let your inner bad girl out. Fiery with a slightly seductive energy, the 23-yearold Blackburn (UK) singer defies genres, shaping her own intoxicating blend of gothic soul while teetering on the dark side of pop. Without ever even listening to the lyrics, Charlotte’s voice and demeanor radiate power and strength. Delicate piano riffs soften the mood, while funky bass lines and percussion keep her badass edge in check. There’s no doubt Charlotte OC is going to be a name topping the charts. Recommended song: “Color My Heart” Best listened to: Telling an ex to get lost or anytime you need a little empowerment.
Recommended Songs: “Never Gonna Change,” “Bridges” and “Taking You There” Best listened to: Right now. Don’t walk, RUN and hit the play button immediately.
Alice and the Glass Lake “Many summers ago I took my first trip to the Glass Lake. Having arrived at its wooded bank, my eyes caught the tree line and found their first full-on view of the water – the sun and setting colors reflecting from its silvery surface as a perfect mirrored half. I knew I’d found something important.” Dip your toes into the “Glass Lake,” the dream world of front-woman, and part of the band’s namesake, Alice Lake. Her voice will freeze you in your tracks as it echoes through ambient sounds as pristine and refreshing as the waters of the lake. Let her angelic vocals guide you through lush sensory overtones and colorful soundscapes as you lose yourself in the “sonic daydream” of soothing synths and folky melodies. Recommended song: “Luminous” Best listened to: Daydreaming or laying on a blanket looking up at the stars.
say lou lou
Sister duo, Say Lou Lou, are having an extraordinary 2014. Miranda and Elektra Kilbey have captured hearts and ears industry-wide with their warm, optimistic ballad “Better in the Dark” and the lush and dreamy “Beloved.” Barely on the indie circuit for 18 months, the 21-year-old twins have mastered a balance between elegant, sultry, and soulful. With floating harmonies and red-hot beats, these Aussie-Swedish babes pack layers of talent into a tiny package. They’ve even conquered a cover of Tame Impala‘s “Feels Like We Only Go Backwards” and effortlessly made it their own. Say Lou Lou’s upcoming debut album is one of the most anticipated of 2014 and this dream-pop duo should definitely be on your “ones to watch” list. Recommended songs: “Better in the Dark” and “Beloved” Best listened to: Getting ready for a night out or jammin’ in the car with your girlfriends.
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+Reader [Confessions] Each week, readers come to TheIndieChicks.com to confess anything and everything they feel they need to get off their chest, anonymously. When the confessions come in, readers flock to read and relate, as they realize that many of their struggles are not as uncommon as they thought, and that they weren’t alone in the feelings they were having and the mistakes they were making. After all, we’re all human, aren’t we? See if you can relate to these readers, and if you’re ever in the mood to get anything off your own chest, make sure you stop by our website’s Indie Confessional!
SED CONFES ANONYMOUSLY
PUBLICLY
PUBLISHED [134] INDIE CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM
I made out with my sister’s boyfriend. Over the holidays she got sick and went to bed early and we stayed up drinking and hanging out. One thing led to another. I don’t plan on doing it again and I have no intentions of telling her.”
“I Got Married Too Young.”
“
“
“I told my boyfriend I was pregnant just to keep him from leaving me.” “I don’t know what’s worse: The fact I cheated on my boyfriend with my manager, or the fact I cheated on him because my manager reminds me of my ex-boyfriend.
their drama with “I refuse to date men with children. I don’t need they do have their ex or tolerate their overcompensating when brat.” their kids. I won’t be a stepmom to some spoiled "I steal something whereever I go. It doesn’t matter if it’s a party or a regular day at the office, ending in a longer than usual trip to the supply room. It’s never anything of value, I just get a high from taking things that aren’t mine. Pens, notepads, nailpolish, make-up...”
“I was raised in a religious cult. I’ve been away for six years, but sometimes it gets hard to draw the line between who I am and what I’ve come to know and I’m tired of being on the outside.
“
“I am completely jealous of my best friend. I feel like such a little teenage loser, but everything about her makes me wish I could be her. She’s so pretty and perfect. Everyone likes her and I feel like everything comes easy for her.”
“I am madly in love with my best friend and no matter how many times he tells me he doesn’t have feelings for me, I am secretely convinced that if I wait for him, he will fall in love with me one day.”
“
I was raped by my ex boyfriend last year and it was obviously a terrible ordeal from me but my family and friends made it even worse. My aunt made horrible comments and told my mom that she thought I was ‘joking’. My other aunt yelled at me for going to see him after it was over between us. My mother blamed me for the rape and my cousin, who lives with me, never asks if I’m okay either. My best friends of 16 years weren’t there for me at all during that time. Neither of my friends ever asked me how I was doing. One of my friends did tell me she would make more of an effort though. I am not sure if I should end my friendships or what to do about my family’s reaction.” THEINDIECHICKS.COM | INDIE CHICK
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Hassle Free Printing We Take Printing Seriously…Not Ourselves.
Plant tours available!
Call 210-804-0390 for Special Online Pricing 5,000 postcards $149 10,000 flyers $349 1,000 magazines $995 (16 pages, 60# paper)
Visit us at www.shweiki.com
[136] INDIEUS CHICK | THEINDIECHICKS.COM CONTACT TO SCHEDULE YOUR PLANT TOUR 210-804-0390 • Email sampl E
s@shw E iki for afr EE quot E or call 512-480-0860
Be Fearless. Live each day happily and courageously.
ADD TOPPINGS TO YOUR
VANILLA SEX
9
WAYS TO ENJOY SUMMER LIKE A TEENAGER
POLL:
How far would you go on a first date?
CHALLENGE
YOUR INNER BADASS
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Samii Ryan
GET READY! This edgy entrepreneur will inspire you
FIRE UP that engine! Plan the PERFECT road trip
HAVE A SUMMER FLING (WITH YOUR MAN!)
15
Minute Flirt
(Try it!)
SUMMER 2014