FRONT PORCH MAGAZINE - Fall-Winter 2022-2023

THE VOICE

The two lawyers had finished their business in the Aleutian Islands. One said, “This was not the end of the earth, BUT you could see it from there. The plane service was irregular, so they reluctantly accepted an offer to join a missionary who had finished his work and was about to fly his small plane to Anchorage, Alaska. The plane was a four seater – pretty, fairly new, and clean.

They boarded; it started and purred like a kitten or rather like a big cat. The missionary taxied to the end of the runway and stopped when one of the lawyers asked, “May I pray?”

The missionary said that he usually didn’t but if praying would make him feel better, he could. “I just figure that God is always with me,” the missionary commented.

The lawyer responded, “I believe that also, but Jesus said, “Low, I am with you,” and we are about to leave ‘low’ and go ‘high.’ So, he prayed and prayed and prayed and finally said, “Lord, I am not going to say amen – I want to stay in close communication.”

The missionary started the upward ascent, and the plane moved smoothly to an uneventful take off; however, the plane kept going up into a cloud bank.

Completely surrounded by clouds, the missionary, with a tremble in his voice said, “I can’t fly in clouds. I get dizzy and pass out,” and his eyes rolled back into his head, and HE PASSED OUT.

The lawyer in the right front seat, grabbed him, shook him, and shouted, “Wake up so I can kill you.”

The lawyer in the back seat cried out, “We’re going to die!”

The front seat lawyer started trying to make heads or tails of the instrument panel and all the flashing lights. He handed the microphone to the other lawyer, “Call for help!”

He immediately shouted into the mic., “HELP, HELP, HELP!!!”

Finally, a voice came back, “Hey, don’t you guys know proper radio etiquette?”

They both screamed, “NO! we don’t know anything. We are in a little bitty plane with an unconscious pilot, and we don’t know how to fly this thing.”

The voice said, “I am a cargo plane flying out of Anchorage to Tokyo, and I am going to circle you so that I don’t lose contact until I can get help for you from Anchorage Airport Emergency.”

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, Anchorage Emergency replied. “I hear that you have a problem, but I can get you home, BUT you must listen to my voice and do exactly what I say. You must let me be in control. You just listen to my voice and obey –don’t question – just obey, OK?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“The voice said,” You are about one and one-half hours from Anchorage, and there are storms between you and me, but if you will listen to my voice and do as I say, I will bring you home, OK?”

“Yes, Sir.” The lawyer did not say I am highly educated; I have a law degree from Harvard; he did not ask for credentials from the VOICE; he humbly said, “Yes, sir.”

The VOICE said, “You cannot see me, but I can see you on my screen; so listen to my VOICE; I will not leave you; I will guide you

safely home; but if you do not obey my VOICE, you will die.

“So, first thing, there is a mountain 4 minutes ahead of you. Don’t panic. I will take you around it.“ And he did.

“There are storms ahead, and the ride is going to be rough and very bumpy, but I will stay with you through the storms. Just listen to my VOICE and do as I say.

“I am going to tell you how to read the instruments and how to steer the plane, and ultimately land safely. Just listen to my VOICE. Watch the instruments. DO NOT look at the storm.”

Finally, after what seemed like hours and lots of instructions, the VOICE said, “You are approaching the airport. You cannot see it yet, but it is straight ahead. I have cleared all other air traffic. It is just you and me, OK?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“You are getting close and you are doing fine. Keep listening to my VOICE, and we – you and I - will land the plane safely.

“You are about 200 feet up and you should be able to see the airport lights.”

“I do.”

“As you get closer, you will see lights in the shape of a cross. That is the end of the runway. Keep your eyes on the cross, and it will guide you home.”

“I see it.”

“Now, ease down like I taught you. I have prepared you for this moment. You listened well, and you and I are going to land this plane safely.”

So, he landed it. In fact, he landed seven times as he bounced to a stop -safely. The VOICE said, “Welcome home. Congratulations!

“I have had a few others in similar situations who would not listen to my VOICE and hear my words, and they crashed and burned, but you listened to my VOICE and got home safely. Well Done.”

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Jesus said, “My sheep know my VOICE. I know them and they follow me.”

Whose VOICE are you following?

Del Rogers, Sr., founder and CEO of Stewardship Enrichment is a recognized authority on successful fund raising for churches, ministries and personal stewardship growth for individual Christians.

The Biggest Hoax of the 21st Century

Global Warming is being promoted as the next doomsday scenario. This scenario has one common theme, human beings are destroying the environment. While many factors are driven by the human dynamic, some fundamental truths must be stated before a level headed strategy can be developed to handle the alleged Global Warming crisis.

One fact needed to be known is whether the earth is getting warmer and has been in a general warming trend since 1965. This warming trend is almost universally attributed to post 1940 sun spot related activity, not the result of man-generated greenhouse gases. Also important to note is that our planet has undergone several periods of warming and cooling and will most likely continue to do so for the foreseeable future. So, the question to be answered is whether or not our current warming trend is primarily the result of man-made processes or is just part of the normal fluctuations of weather, the ying and yang of meteorology.

So, what is the overriding factor controlling global warming? That depends on who you chose to ask. What drives the explanation is more politically and theologically motivated than you might think. Those who see mankind as the measure of all things, the primary force of cause and effect in their worldview, see man as both villain and savior. Man is seen as the villain in terms of being the major cause of the problem, e.g. the major producer of greenhouse gases. Man is seen as savior, or the only hope for mankind, because only a drastic change in human activity can reduce these evil greenhouse gases, and save the earth from imminent biological death. The remedy may come in many forms, ranging from alternative energy initiatives and changing our lifestyles.

If we are to have a positive impact on our environment and be the good stewards of God’s creation that we have been appointed to be, we will have to study the problem and separate fact from fiction, discern truth from hype. The first order of business should be an unbiased evaluation of the alleged problem from a

variety of sources, both pro and con.

Like any so-called irrefutably truth of science being promoted for personal and political gain, Global Warming has its Achilles heel. We see this same dynamic in the Darwinian Theory of Evolution.

Darwin postulated a continuum, or range, of life, from the smallest, most basic, e.g. microorganisms, to the most complex and advanced, e.g. Homo sapiens. He was convinced that evidence in support of his theory would soon be forthcoming from the fossil record. He thought, if we really did evolve from lower more primitive life forms, then this should be easily demonstrated to us in the fossil record. We should be able to see a continuum of developed at each successive stage from molecules to me, right? Wrong!!

When the fossil record was progressively covered, low and behold, numerous gaps began to appear in every major variety of life form. The gaps were so ubiquitous, or widespread. The evolutionary community deals with actual facts or data that tend to falsify rather than validate their theory. They come up with creative ways to explain away facts that are clearly detrimental to their scientific hypotheses. But how invested are they in getting rid of the data?

The National Academy of Sciences report reaffirmed the existence of the Medieval Warm Period from about 900 to 1300 AD and the Little Ice Age from about 1500 to 1850 that followed the Medieval Warm Period.

Both of these periods occurred long before the invention of the SUV or human industrial activity could have possibly impacted the Earth’s climate. In fact, scientists believe the Earth was warmer than today during the Medieval Warm Period when the Vikings grew crops in Greenland. Climate alarmists have been attempting to erase the inconvenient medieval Warm Period from the Earth’s climate history for at least a decade. Here are some bullet points that should give all the global warming Chicken Little’s pause: • Greenland is currently undergoing a cooling trend that is ex pected to last until 2035.

• Alarmists fail to adequately explain why temperatures began warming at the end of the Little Ice Age about 1850. • Temperatures got colder after CO2 emissions exploded.

If CO2 is the driving force of global climate change, why do so many in the media ignore the many skeptical scientists who cite rather obvious inconvenient truths?

These questions are just the tip of the ice berg. There are over 450 peer revied articles from global warming skeptics who are bone fide experts in their respective fields. There are 30,000 American scientists urging the United States to reject the Kyoto treaty. So why has it become a grievous sin to question the socalled settled matter of worldwide global warming?

The answer? Follow the money.

This information that is to be presented to you has come from the article which is the title of this writing. It comes to us through the Creation Institute Studies.

An Arts & Crafts Home with Bois ’d’Arc Tree Trunks

The house we in Caldwell affectionately call the Zaccagnino House is a wonderful example of the Arts and Crafts style of the early 1900’s. This home was originally built in 1915 by then County Judge Warren Hilliard, believed to be a personal friend of Lyndon Banes Johnson, who it was said often frequented the home. The Arts and Craft house was designed by W. S. Haggarts Architect out of Dallas, Texas.

The “pier and beam” house was supported by dozens of bois d’arc trees. stumps. Use of this hard wood tree was a common practice of builders of that time.

Judge Hilliard suffered a stroke at home on June 17, 1944, and was taken upstairs where he later died. His wife Helen and their five children continued to live in the home till Helen’s death. Ruth, the only daughter, inherited the dwelling, and then she later sold it to Bill and Allene Leech in 1971. In the summer of 1976, Sal and Alice Zaccagnino bought the home from the Leeches, and they lived there till 2020 when Sal and Alice’s son Tony and wife Lia came to Caldwell to inherit Tony’s childhood home.

Renovation on the house was begun and accomplished during much of the Covid Quarantine of 2020. Located across from the present Caldwell Elementary School, which was under reconstruction, their house was remodeled for 56 weeks by Rios Remodeling out of Snook, whose work they were truly satisfied with. The dual constructions and the disruptions of such work turned out well for both parties. Lia and

Tony lived in Sal’s reconfigured, outside office during the renovations. They commented that of the 35 years of marriage, they had been on the road for work during 32 of the years. So, taking over the wonderful old two-story structure made a way for them to find roots and rescue the wonderful home their parents had lived in for over fifty years.

Work on the home was vast: Creating concrete pilings, leveling the house, adding 55 new windows (they kept the beveled glass ones), and removing the door to the dining room. The keeping of all original doors and floors was important to them. And they gutted the kitchen and put in modern appliances and work stations there.

When asked about their front porch, they said that they have two doors that open to the first-floor porch, and one that is on the second floor. They do enjoy being on their lovely downstairs porch, watching people and enjoying the outdoors.

Tony and Lia plan to embrace life in Caldwell with Sal and Alice now living next door, and they have already enjoyed being involved in the community though they’ve been here a short time. They look forward to enjoying in their beautiful, sturdy, restored Arts and Craft home, and one day to keep it in the family by passing it on to their daughter Kennedy and husband Logan King.

The Zaccagninos state, “This is our forever home. It was 100 years old when we remodeled it. We plan to spend time with Sal and Alice and enjoy Caldwell in our new home that is filled with the treasures of our travels over the years.

From us to you Editors Note

Dear Readers,

Writing the word “dear” made me think of the fact that you are dear to us at the Front Porch Magazine. Without you, there would be no need to have a magazine.

Our hope is that your summer has gone well, despite the drought, the absence of refreshing rain. It has truly been a hot, dry summer. Certainly, when rain does come, we will be more appreciative of it. Absence of good truly makes one more aware of its influence.

We again are enjoying putting together articles and jokes that we hope will inform you, pull at your heart strings, and make you laugh a little. We so appreciate each writer, and his or her insights and revelations. We know you do too.

For this edition, we have chosen the theme Who’s in Charge because of the many times we Americans have been and are assaulted with the lack of control in so many areas of our lives: physical protection that should be provided, provision of food at a reasonable price, gas that isn’t over 40% higher as it is now, a government that is honest and cares more for its people than its ideology. We hope that you are informed and are challenged by reading the Front Porch this time. So, we present to you his Fall edition 2022.

Sincerely, Sandi & Scarlette

on

Spotlight

Burleson County’s

Unique Heritage

People in all walks of life influence those around them. In this column, we will be featuring those who have made an impact in our small towns.

Passionate

Devoted

Leader

Judy Carolyn Williams Richardson Giving

be palpable. Her passion for history, especially of Burleson County, led her to leadership and involvement in the BC Historical Society where she spearheaded the family history book, the preservation and maintenance of the Kraitchar House Museum, as well as the Burleson County Opera to benefit the society. And in 2011, Rick Perry appointed Judy to the Texas Historical Commission, a position where she was able to help with Caldwell becoming a “Texas Main Street City.”

The memberships Judy poured her support, leadership, and dedication into included First Baptist Church, the Order of the Eastern Star, Daughters of the American Revolution, and the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. Also, she served on the Caldwell School Board and the Caldwell Chamber of Commerce board of directors.

Judy was also a longtime supporter of Gordy’s participation in Lion’s Club and the Texas Lions Camp, and she, herself, was the charter president of the Caldwell Evening Lions Club.

Judy’s long history in Caldwell dates back five generations. Her mother Bernice Dean Williams 4/16/15 to 2/28/11 and father Ralph Williams 8/13/12 to 3/7/73 are remembered by many in the area. Judy’s immediate family includes husband Gordon Richardson, sons Gordon Richardson II and wife Leslie, son Randall Richardson, as well as grandsons Will, Charles, Gordon III, and Harry, all of Houston.

The contributions Judy provided Caldwell and the area are commendable, and we are happy to recognize her and acknowledge her efforts that were well done.

This Spotlight edition is dedicated to the memory of a longtime resident of Caldwell, Texas, a fifth-generation dweller, Judy Carolyn Williams Richardson, fondly called Judy by most everyone.

Tragically, Judy passed away April 13, 2022, and family and friends are left with a big void in their lives. Judy’s involvements in the endeavors of Caldwell have been many and varied. Her absence will

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First Baptist

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Store

Cat’s Pitt Stop

& H Building Construction

Club

Copperas Hollow

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Michael K. Reese

Services

Loehr Dozer

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Construction

Internet

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Livestock

Caldwell Livestock

Woodson’s

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& Ranch

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& Luckey

Pregnancy

from Camp

Dear Mom,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Adam’s mother and tell her he is okay. He can’t write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue Jeeps. It was great. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn’t been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Ted got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn’t hear him. Did you know that if you put petro on a fire, it will blow up?

The wet wood didn’t burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes.Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Ted gets the bus fixed. It wasn’t his fault about the crash. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Ted said that with a bus that old, you have to expect something to break down; that’s probably why he can’t get insurance.

We think it’s a super bus. He doesn’t care if we get it dirty, and if it’s hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the bumpers. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the policeman stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Ted is a neat guy. Don’t worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Horace how to drive on the mountain roads where there aren’t any cops. All we ever see up there are huge logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Ted wouldn’t let me because I can’t swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast , so he let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.

Scoutmaster Ted isn’t crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn’t even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we all got to see how a tourniquet works.

Steve and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Ted said it was probably just food poisoning from the left-over chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I’m so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time.

I have to go now. We are going to town to post our letters and buy some more ammo. Don’t worry about anything. We are fine.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

DON’T MESS WITH SENIORS

I know I shouldn’t have done this, but I am 83 years old and I was in the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn and started mouthing something because I was taking too long to place my order. So when I got to the first window

I paid for her order along with my own. The cashier must have told her what I’d done because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed “Thank you.”, obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness.

When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too. Now she has to go back to the end of the queue and start all over again,

Don’t blow your horn at old people, they have been around a long time.

Not a Joke

Christianity is Now the Target of Persecution

Isn’t it interesting that a high school principal can see the problem, but our society cannot.

This is a statement that was read over the PA system at the football game at Roane County High School, Kingston, Tennessee, by school principal, Jody McLeod

“It has always been the custom at Roane County High School football games, to say a prayer and play theNational Anthem, to honor God and Country.”

Due to a recent ruling by the Supreme Court, I am told that saying a Prayer is a violation of Federal Case Law. As I understand the law at this time, I can use this public facility to approve of sexual perversion and call it “an alternate life style,”and, if someone is offended, that’s OK.

I can use it to condone sexual promiscuity, by dispensing condoms and calling it, “safe sex.” If someone is offended, that’s OK.

I can even use this public facility to present the merits of killing an unborn baby as a “viable” means of birth control.” If someone is offended, no problem...

I can designate a school day as “Earth Day” and involve students in activities to worship religiously and praise the goddess, “Mother Earth”, and call it “ecology..”

I can use literature, videos and presentations in the classroom that depicts people with strong, traditional Christian convictions as “simple minded” and “ignorant” and call it “enlightenment..”

However, if anyone uses this facility to honor GOD and to ask HIM to bless this event with safety and good sportsmanship, then Federal Case Law is violated.

This appears to be inconsistent at best, and at worst,

diabolical. Apparently, we are to be tolerant of everything and anyone, except GOD and HIS Commandments. Nevertheless, as a school principal, I frequently ask staff and students to abide by rules with which they do not necessarily agree. For me to do otherwise would be inconsistent at best, and at worst, hypocritical. I suffer from that affliction enough unintentionally. I certainly do not need to add an intentional transgression.

For this reason, I shall “Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s,” and refrain from praying at this time.

“However, if you feel inspired to honor, praise and thank GOD and ask HIM, in the name of JESUS, to bless this event, please feel free to do so.. As far as I know, that’s not against the law--yet.”

One by one, the people in the stands bowed their heads, held hands with one another and began to pray. They prayed in the stands. They prayed in the team huddles. They prayed at the concession stand and they prayed in the Announcer’s Box!

The only place they didn’t pray was in the Supreme Court of the United States of America-the Seat of “Justice” in the “one nation,under GOD.”

Somehow, Kingston, Tennessee, remembered what so many have forgotten. We are given the Freedom OF Religion, not the Freedom FROM Religion.

Praise GOD that HIS remnant remains!

Scenario 1:

By Today’s Standards...None of Us Was Supposed to Ever Make It.

HIGH SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2022

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack.

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2022 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2022 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it

Scenario 3:

Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal’s office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2022 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The family gets extra money (SSI) from the government because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2022 - Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school..

1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock

2022 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:

Pedro fails high school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2022 - Pedro’s cause is taken up by the state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1957 - Ants die.

2022 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny’s dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him. 1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing. 2022 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Circuses struggling to find new clowns as top prospects continue to go into politics.

Who, What, Why How of Control

Who is In Control? This is the question of the day for our whole world. Is the government in control? Republicans or democrats, are they in control? Moms and dads, are they in control? Bosses at work, are they in control. I believe the answer to the question is everyone has a little control, but no one has the ultimate control. The thing we all struggle with as a society is this question. Some ask, “Is control being stripped away so that all the control can be taken away from us?”

The world is trying to figure out the skinny of thousands of years of webs that have been weaved. Big Pharma keeps pushing more drugs and more jabs. Do they have control? Countries and states they push the agenda upon, do they have control? Guys, the thing to take away with control is that you must have discernment. You can’t just go along with every thing that comes your way,. You don’t have to believe everyone or everything. You should not think everyone has your best interest. If you do this, some would call you a SHEEP OR A FOLLOWER. I for one question everything. I don’t just take things at face value. Some people would call me a person that is out of line; others would say that this is a smart way to live. I guess in my 52 years I’ve come to realize that if I don’t question, who is going have my back? The simple answer is no one.

The news, do they have the control? Yes, they control the media agenda that they want to push. All networks. CNN, MSNBC, and even the beloved Fox, have an agenda. However, you still have control to search the web, not just using google but also trying Duck Duck Go and other sources to find out more details of things you are trying to get to the truth about.

Wars, are they about controlling other countries? The answer is yes, but what are they really at war about and who is on what side? It’s complicated, but not everything we see is real. Again you have to go back and research. Here’s a question: Why is almost 100 billion dollars leaving our country, and here we are struggling as a country? Good Question…answer? I for one don’t know. No one wants to have to do the work because so many just think everyone has their best interest. You have the control to do the work.

Lastly, the media is pushing new agendas down our throats. Man, we are being attacked as families at an all time high level. Gender… this racial ‘What pronoun are you?’ and ‘What do you feel like being today?’ Are they in control? Again, start doing your homework and quit burying you head in the sand. I won’t go into the border or human trafficking because I don’t have enough room to write about all of those real issues..

I will land the plane with this: Jesus Christ is in control, and He allows us to have free will. You can be in control of things that are around whether you want to believe it or not. You give Him the control, and He drives the ship. You control being in worship daily or choosing to be worry free daily. The choice is up to you. Work hard daily, yes. Trust your circle, sure, but don’t just be an ostrich (head in the sand) because you will look up and be somewhere you don’t recognize. Your job is to use the gifts He gave you. Love the people around you! Don’t be rude if you don’t agree with someone… just be tolerant. I don’t agree with everything, but I do control how I treat and love others. Jesus loved. You can control you… love others! That’s a wrap. You do have control!

John Taylor is an Influencer in Direct Sales/a lead marketer for Prime My Body. John, wife Sandra, and daughters Addison and Avery live in Dripping Springs Texas, with Rocky and Dixie May their beloved rescue dog and Lab. Mr. Allin is his business identity.

onion

garlic

(4.5 oz.)

green

black

cheddar cheese

(12 ct.)

Holiday Favorites

By Sharon Laffere Ehlert

tortillas

together cream cheese, sour cream, picante,

cheddar cheese.

green chilies, olives,

over each tortilla,

serve with salsa for dipping.

up,

the next morning

never appreciate what you have

gone.

paper

Do You Love the

OUTDOORS

and all it offers? A new enterprise, one of Caldwell’s new businesses, is named M4 Outdoors, LLC. It is just the place for you to get all the help and wisdom you might need for your hunting, land, ponds or lakes, and habitat management.

Owner Robbie McQueen has been in the outdoors business here since July 2022. However, he’s been in Outdoor consultation for four years, and was with another Outdoor focused company dating back to 2013, before he determined to begin his own company.

McQueen earned his Bachelors in Wildlife Management at Eastern Kentucky University and his Masters in Wildlife Behavior at Sam Houston University. Today he is servicing the entire state of Texas, helping with managing wildlife and their habitats. McQueen is located at 1300 S Highway 36, Caldwell, Texas. He calls his office hours 8:00 am - 5:00 pm Monday through Friday, but is “On Call” as needed. He’ll schedule ranch visits for you. Just give him a ring.

McQueen is ex-military, a Navy man, and his goal is to help you design and improve your habitat for increased hunting opportunities, as well as maintenance.

A look at his website M4outdoorsllc.com will give you insight into his core values and services. He states in “Who We Are” that they are a crew that helps you create the habitat that brings in the wildlife you want. He says they help change properties into wildlife resorts.

Core values stated include: Loyalty to customers above all, Exhibiting servitude, Being Humble, Setting a standard and holding to it as you work with them, Being disciplined, and Being selfless. Who would not want a workman with those values?

Their services broadly are three-fold: Wildlife and Habitat Consultation, MLD Programs, and Surveys. They will do monthly maintenance, set up blinds, fill feeders, manage your ponds and

lakes, clear shooting lanes, and improve your property access.

One goal was primary when M 4 Outdoors was begun: to give back. Now, they do just that. They offer merchandize on their website and help support causes they believe in: military, law enforcement, education, and disabled outdoors men. God, Country, Family, Freedom, and Outdoors are the focus.

Robbie McQueen and wife Michelle Farrell McQueen, long time resident of Caldwell, have two children, daughter Daegan, 3 years old, and son Hudson, 1 year old. They’ve moved from Houston to Caldwell area to enjoy the “Outdoor way of life.”

Future plans include creating opportunities for others who enjoy the work of being a wildlife steward, and having a store front, especially for merchandise that will benefit the causes they want to support.

In the store, they want to offer classroom opportunities, teaching classes, group and individual, that will assist in food plots and the like.

We at the Front Porch are excited to welcome M4 Outdoors, and encourage you to give this Outdoors expert a chance to benefit you with the care of your land, water, hunting, and/or the management. Welcome, M4 Outdoors.

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

Taking The Reins

First elected Officials

by Tammy Kubecka

We often take our personal freedom for granted, and don’t really think about how our county and cities operate. They just do. In that respect, we also take an important part of our history for granted. When Burleson County was officially formed, who was willing to oversee the area? When Caldwell, Somerville and Snook became established towns, who took the reins?

Imagine the historical task our ancestors had organizing a whole county, establishing a whole town, and figuring out all the guidelines needed, and who would see to it that those rules were implemented. It was new ground for everyone.

Burleson County started getting a scattering of settlers in the 1820s, and after independence from Mexico, the new Republic of Texas enjoyed steady growth. In 1838, the land north of El Camino Real, or State Highway 21, was Milam County. Land south of the Camino, or Old San Antonio Road, was Washington County, and part of the western section was Lee County. With more people in the area, and a little town growing on Davidson Creek, the settlers of the area started talking about establishing their own political entity. With a petition signed by 87 men, they petitioned the second Congress of the Republic of Texas to form a new county. It would be called the “County of Texas.” Nothing became of the effort and in 1839, with 112 signatures, a new petition from mainly settlers south of the OSR was presented to the Third Congress asking that a new county NOT be formed! The Congress also ignored that request. Burleson County wouldn’t become a county until after Texas became a state.

Texas obtained statehood on December 29, 1845, and by an act of the First Legislature, Burleson County was officially formed on March 24, 1846. The author of that act was George B. Erath. Named for General Edward Burleson, the act set out the metes and bounds for the county and stipulated that Caldwell would be the county seat, since it was already the temporary county seat of Milam County. Milam County officials would govern affairs of the new county until new officials could be elected. The constitution of 1845 declared that all county officials would be elected, and the government would be administered by a Chief Justice (now the County Judge), four commissioners, a county clerk, tax assessor, sheriff, coroner, surveyor and justices of the peace.

The first elected Chief Justice was John W. Porter who, by then, was a long-time resident of the area. Unfortunately, he passed away before he ever took office. A called meeting for the county took place August 10, 1846, with James G. Wilkinson presiding

as Chief Justice. Also present were Commissioners Peter Jackson and William White. The other two Commissioners were Adam Lawrence and James A. Prewitt.

John A. Hood had been elected Clerk of the County Court but was represented that day by his chief deputy William J. Hill. The main topic of that meeting and many to come was the maintenance of roads. But they also became aware that they were responsible for levying and collecting taxes, establishing schools, paying for teachers, providing for the sick and indigent care, and until 1891, they also administered the affairs of the county seat of Caldwell. At an October 1846 meeting, William Hill was also appointed commissioner to sell lots for the City of Caldwell. He also served as the first District Clerk. The first sheriff elected was William A. Chance.

Caldwell first elected city officials in 1891, with B.G. Rowland voted in as Mayor. Aldermen were H.H. Darr, R.E. McArthur, A.W. McIver, Thomas Kraitchar, and Edward Reeves. The new City Marshal was C.W. Curry. Two years later, J.R. Heslip would become the City Attorney. Down the road, Somerville had been established as a railroad town in the late 1800s, and in the early 1900s, had two failed attempts to incorporate. Finally, in March 1913, area citizens voted to incorporate and a city government was formed. Casper Landolt became the first mayor, with City Commissioners R.A. Brantley Jr, and R.L. Meeks. The first City Secretary was W.H. Lynch.

Boasting a population of nearly 400, Snook voters approved incorporation on February 12, 1972, and the City of Snook was officially organized, even though the community had been around for nearly a hundred years. The first City elections were held in May 1972, with Rayfield Slovacek being elected Mayor. The first aldermen were Frank W. Jakubik, E.J. Ptacek Sr., John W. See, Harold Shelfer and Ruth Kovar. Betty Hubenak was City Secretary and the City Judge was Herbert J. Sebesta. For the first two years of their existence, the Snook city council met at the Snook Baking Company. A City Hall was completed in 1975. Attending current meetings of County Commissioners Court, or any of our City Councils, is seeing history in action. Reading past minutes of these meetings is part of our local history, and it helps us understand how local events interact with state history. It’s something else we take for granted….a true account of local government leaving behind a historic trail.

Gun Logic

1. Eleven teens die each day because of texting while driving. Maybe it’s time to raise the age of Smart Phone ownership to 21.

2. If gun control laws actually worked, Chicago would be Mayberry, USA.

3. The Second Amendment makes more women equal than the entire feminist movement.

4. Legal gun owners have 300 million guns and probably a trillion rounds of ammo. Seriously, folks, if we were the problem, you’d know it.

5. When JFK was killed, nobody blamed the rifle.

6. The NRA (National Rifle Association) murders 0 people and receives ($$$$ 0) nothing in government funds. Planned Parenthood kills 350,000 babies every year and receives $500,000,000 in tax dollars annually.

7. I have no problem with vigorous background checks when it comes to firearms. While we’re at it, let’s do the same when it comes to immigration, Voter I.D., and candidates running for office.

8. Folks keep talking about another Civil War. One side knows how to shoot and probably has a trillion rounds. The other side has crying closets and is confused about which bathroom to use. Now tell me, how do you think that would end?

There’s more logic and common sense expressed here than probably anything you have seen on the news lately.

Abortion in Texas

As I write this the week after the historic day that the Supreme Court overturned Roe v Wade, millions of Christians across our nation are rejoicing. God has answered our fervent prayers of the past 49 years to bring justice to our land, to protect the voiceless and the most vulnerable among us. What a beautiful thing to behold after all of these decades of confusion and darkness. It is comforting beyond comprehension to know that there are still those in leadership in this country who fear God and see the inherent value of every life He creates. Yet, as we praise God for His power and mercy so evidently displayed this week, a part of my heart still hurts in the deepest way for those who view this ruling as a trap, as an attack on their autonomy, as an evil to women.

• The woman trying to escape her abuser who discovers she is pregnant with his child, who believes abortion will free her.

• The student who has worked toward her dream career all her life, who now finds herself expecting a child, and without access to abortion in Texas, feels she no longer has the option to pursue her dreams.

• The teenager who grew up in church and now has a positive athome test, who longer has quick to abortion,

it is their only solution. In the midst of our victory and celebration, we must not lose sight of those who feel like their world is collapsing. Romans 12:15 calls us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” I am not sure there has been a more important time in the last 49 years than now to rise up as the Church and be the hands and feet of Christ to those in mourning and despair. The battle is not over! The victory is assured, but not yet fully here. We must take action to love like Jesus and meet the immediate needs of these women who feel they have nowhere to turn. We must be the ones to extend practical hope, help, and love. We must take up our cross and follow Christ daily, putting our flesh to death and putting on His armor. Let us be a people of abounding love and sacrifice, willing to die to ourselves to meet the ever-growing needs of this nation, no matter the cost!

Bio

Cameron Wells moved from Mckinney, Texas to pursue a degree at Texas A&M University in 2017. She graduated in 2020 with a major in Communication and a minor in Psychology. Cameron started working at Hope Pregnancy Center in College Station in March 2020 and became the Outreach Director in October

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF YOU MOVE TO THE SOUTH

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one’s seen before.

4. If it grows, it’ll stick ya. If it crawls, it’ll bite cha.

5. Onced and Twiced are words.

6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!

7. Jawl-P? means: Did you all go to the bathroom?

8. People actually grow, eat, and like okra.

9. Fixinto is one word. It means I’m going to do something.

10. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there’s supper.

11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you’re two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.

12. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.

13. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, ‘Did you eat?’

14. You don’t have to wear a watch, because it doesn’t matter what time it is, you work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see.

15. You don’t PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

16. Y’all is singular. All Y’all is plural.

17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

18. You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.

19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco, and ketchup.

20. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motorsports, and gossip.

21. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name), or Mr (first name)

22. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

23. You know what a hissy fit is..

24. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

25. We don’t need no dang Driver’s Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!

26. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.

AND one more:

27. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it CAN be done!

“Law and freedom must be indivisible partners. For without law, there can be no freedom, only chaos and disorder, and without freedom, law is but a cynical veneer for injustice and oppression.” ~Ronald Reagan~

Follow the Actions of a Young King

by Scarlette Taylor

Recently, I was reminded of the great story of the young man Hezekiah, who was king of Judah. If you have not read his story recently, as I had not, you can find it in the Old Testament book of 2 Kings.

The story is about Hezekiah who became king in his early twenties. (Can you imagine?) He inherited a kingdom from his father, a ruler who did not honor God. However, Hezekiah loved God and set out to remove pagan worship from his nation: the high places, the pagan idols, their sacred pillars, and their wooden images. Another thing Hezekiah did was break alliances with unholy nations, even with powerful, brutal, deadly, ungodly Assyria.

When the Assyrian king learned of the alliance with his country being broken, he sent word for Hezekiah to surrender, and if he didn’t his life would end tomorrow. The brutality and ruthlessness, as well as the great power of the Assyrian army were well known. So, young King Hezekiah faced a cross road. He had to determine what to do. Are you there, too? Are you at a point that you need to make a decision, one that is extremely important, one that determines so much?

Young King Hezekiah first tore his clothes, covered himself with sackcloth and ashes, the typical Jewish response to times of great grief, loss, or danger. But, then King Hezekiah went to the House of the Lord. He was a wise young man. Obviously, he was because he believed in God and wanted his country free of all the pagan influences of worship.

This young king did several things that are model responses we can emulate, can profit from. Going to the House of the Lord was the first thing he did when dealing with the Assyrians. Hezekiah went there to talk to God. Isn’t that a great place to go to cry out to God when you have a problem? Then the second thing he did was spread out the letter he had received from the Assyrian king which basically said that his God couldn’t help him, that he was out-numbered, that he knew what the Assyrians had done to other nations. That he was doomed.

He laid the literal letter out before God. (Can’t you just imagine that? I love it. I want to be that literal with God). He is taking the evidence to his God. Then Hezekiah said, “You are God of Israel, the one who dwells between the cherubim. You are God alone, maker of heaven and earth.” Oh, how great, how good, how benefiting to us is our acknowledgement of God. Hezekiah knew God, and so he was able to ask God to hear and see the words Sennacherib, king of Assyria, had said.

Young King Hezekiah told God how the Assyrian king was speaking of Him, and how he was planning “to reproach God,” the living God. Hezekiah was telling God that this man was criticizing and disparaging God. Then Hezekiah redirected this challenge made upon himself. He changed the focus to opposing God. Hezekiah was making his problem God’s problem. Isn’t that a great thing to do? And isn’t it so true that our problems are God’s problems, if we

belong to Him. Too often we are prone to take care of things, situations ourselves. We certainly need our God’s guidance, wisdom and power, from the least of problems to the greatest.

Been there, as Young Hezekiah was …wanting and needing God’s help so desperately? Faith is a choice. The truth is He is always our present help in time of need. We can cry out to Him and He hears and will help us.

So, young King Hezekiah was truthful with God. He told Him the whole situation. What about when we go to God for help? Yes, we must be truthful with Him. Amazingly, we sometimes try to diminish our errors, our self-focus, our part in the situation or our wrong, or our fear or doubt. We want God’s help, but we don’t want to sound undeserving or even needy. He knows anyway, right? So, how foolish to try to keep something from our God who loves us, and is full of compassion, full of grace, patient, and is ever ready to help us in our need.

After that, Hezekiah’s help from the Lord God came. God did indeed help His young one. God sent one angel (though he could have sent thousands upon thousands) to rescue Hezekiah’s men. He sent just one angel who went out and killed in the camp of the Assyrians 85,000; and when people arose early in the morning, there were the corpses,. One of God’s agents, an angel had defeated the vast Assyrian army. That morning, the Assyrian king Sennacherib left and returned home to Nineveh, not willing to fight against Hezekiah and his God.

Can you imagine how Hezekiah felt? No doubt he believed God was going to help him, but to send an angel to destroy so many of the enemy…and for the enemy to leave, just like that! God’s work was amazing for this young, God-fearing man. May our hearts be tender toward our God. May we honor and stand up for Him, worship and adore Him.

A closing note concerning Sennacherib, king of Assyria: One day after he returned to Nineveh, he was worshiping in the temple of Nisrock his god, and his sons Adrammelech and Sharezer struck him down with the sword. He just thought he was in control and that his god was the true God.

Young Hezekiah’s looking to God to be his help, his rescuer, his dependable God made all the difference. If we will take our concerns, small or vast, to the Lord, we will have help beyond what we can imagine. Bless be the name of the great I AM, YAHWEH, our Jehovah God.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

Three friends from the local congregation were asked,”When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”

Artie said,”I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.”

Eugene commented,”I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives.” Al said,”I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’”

John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully,”Give me one last request, dear,” he said.

“Of course, John,” his wife said softly.

“Six months after I die,” John said,”I want you to marry Bob.”

“But I thought you hated Bob,” she said..

With his last breath John said,”I do!”

express

I was in the six item express lane at the store quietly fuming.

Completely ignoring sign, pushing a cart piled high with Imagto into cart sweetly, you

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, “So which six items would you like to buy?”

Wouldn’t it be great if that happened more often?

Wouldn’t it be great if that happened more often?

All eyes

All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom. The bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.

tar and the waiting groom. The bride kissed her placed ripples of laughter. Even the smiled broad-

The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly.

As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.

As her father gave her away in marriage, the gave

Over 5000 years of eating bread

And in less than a decade , everyone is allergic to gluten.

History Lesson

In September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha Cothren, a History teacher at RobinsonHigh School in Little Rock, did something not to be forgotten. On the first day of school, with the permission of the school superintendent, the principal and the building supervisor, she removed all of the desks in her classroom. When the first period kids entered the room they discovered that there were no desks.

‘Ms. Cothren, where are our desks?’

She replied, ‘You can’t have a desk until you tell me how you earn the right to sit at a desk.’

They thought, ‘Well, maybe it’s our grades.’ ‘No,’ she said.

‘Maybe it’s our behavior.’ She told them, ‘No, it’s not even your behavior.’

And so, they came and went, the first period, second period, third period. Still no desks in the classroom. Kids called their parents to tell them what was happening and by early afternoon television news crews had started gathering at the school to report about this crazy teacher who had taken all the desks out of her room.

The final period of the day came and as the puzzled students found seats on the floor of the desk-less classroom. Martha Cothren said, ‘Throughout the day no one has been able to tell me just what he or she has done to earn the right to sit at the desks that are ordinarily found in this classroom. Now I am going to tell you.’

At this point, Martha Cothren went over to the door of her classroom and opened it. Twenty-seven (27) U.S. Veterans, all in uniform, walked into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk. The Vets began placing the school desks in rows, and then they would walk over and stand alongside the wall. By the time the last soldier had set the final desk in place those kids started to understand, perhaps for the first time in their lives, just how the right to sit at those desks had been earned.

Martha said, ‘You didn’t earn the right to sit at these desks. These heroes did it for you. They placed the desks here for you. They went halfway around the world, giving up their education and interrupting their careers and families so you could have the freedom you have. Now, it’s up to you to sit in them. It is your responsibility to learn, to be good students, to be good citizens. They paid the price so that you could have the freedom to get an education. Don’t ever forget it.’

By the way, this is a true story. And this teacher was awarded the Veterans of Foreign Wars Teacher of the Year for the State of Arkansas in 2006. She is the daughter of a WWII POW.

Let us always remember the men and women of our military and the rights they have won for us.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

Payday candy bar is changing its name because it’s offensive to those who don’t work.

If the current power grid can’t handle a night of 20 degrees temperatures without rolling blackouts, how are we going to plug 100 million electric cars up at night?

Are there any countries that tax their citizens and send some of it to Americans?

Imagine, if you will, a world where every tweet and meme must be fact checked but not a ballot.

How to stop drunk drivers from killing sober drivers?

Ban sober drivers from driving. That’s exactly how gun control works.

Can we still order black coffee?

Are brownies being taken off the shelf?

Is White Castle changing its name?

I’m sure Cracker Barrel is screwed.

Can we still play Chinese checkers?

Is that season still called Indian summer?

No more Italian sausages?

How far do you want to go with this foolishness?

Heck of a job, Liberals! You have managed to bring back the 1929 depression, the 1968 race riots, and the 1973 gas prices - ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

You don’t get to sink the ship and then brag about the number of lifeboats you filled.

Ain’t It Good to be Part of It All!

Are you ready for a different choice when eating out, not the same ole, same ole? If you are, then you don’t have to go far. A new eating opportunity in Caldwell is The Rodney, located at 106 North Main Street (the former Funky Junky). A variety of foods, some not so familiar and other Texas favorites, but with added flavor. Owners Brittany Desadier and Karly McCarthy have come to Texas from Oregon, ready to embrace the Texas life style, and ready to offer Caldwell fresh food, at a place for family and individuals to gather.

Brittany spoke of their desire to help revive the downtown square of Caldwell, saying, “It has a lot of possibility. We love when a small town becomes a community alive with local businesses to attract locals and those who pass through.” Though Caldwell is growing, as are so many small towns in Texas, they want to keep the small-town, personal touch through The Rodney, and through their involvement in the community.

Co-owners, Karly and Brittany have been friends for years. They were in school together, and even rodeoed back in Oregon. After some 20 years, they’ve renewed their friendship and joined forces to offer a location to go to for tasty food.

The menu offers snacks such as Jambalaya balls and a Truffle shuffle, tots with truffle seasoning and goat cheese sauce. Also, they provide a House Salad or a Chicken Cobb.

Their Sandos N Dogs offering, w/chips or fries, include a pressed turkey, avocado, provolone sandwich warmed, and a chopped chicken and provolone on Ciabatta. As well, there are two 44 Farms beef dogs. And a BLT as well. Be ready for a mouth-watering experience. Of course, beef burgers are on the menu: The classic, ½ pounder with tomato, lettuce, onion on a brioche bun. Stacked, a ½ pounder cowboy jalapeno

candy on a brioche bun; and then there is a ½ pounder with caramelized onions, bacon, and cheddar cheese on a Brioche bun.

For sure, there is food for the “Little Cluckers,” chicken bites, grilled cheese, PP&J, as well as a hotdog. All served with chips or fries + a Capri Sun. Sure to please offerings!

Brittany and Karly have many future plans: to expand their indoor and outdoor facilities, to open a market that will provide fresh foods, and to open a Roll-up bar, as well as many other ideas. If you are wondering about the name The Rodney, Brittany says that the man behind the name is her grandfather Rodney who was in the restaurant business. He had a “go-getter” attitude and outlook on life, and an “Ain’t it good to be a part of it all” attitude.

On a personal note, Karly and husband Nick are parents to 9 year old twins Rowen and Madi, and Brittany and husband Jordan are parents to Tavin 12, and Ripkin 7. We welcome both families as they begin their new lives in Caldwell.

CHOW DOWN

back

“There’s a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: as government expands, liberty contracts.” ~Ronald Reagan~

Later in Life

If the Shoe Fits.....

I used to be able to do cartwheels. Now I tip over putting on my underwear.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes... so she hugged me.

My wife says I only have 2 faults. I don’t listen and something else...

I thought growing old would take longer.

I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps, got lost on the way back. Now I have no idea what’s going on.

The officer said, “You drinking?” I said, “You buying?” We just laughed and laughed....I need bail money.

I think the reason we are born with two hands is so we can pet two dogs at once.

Day 12 without chocolate. Lost hearing in my left eye.

Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

A dog accepts you as the boss... a cat wants to see your resume.

Oops.... did I roll my eyes out loud?

Life is too short to waste time matching socks.

Wi-fi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.

If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m selfemployed; we’re having a staff meeting.

I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.

My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffers from mental illness. I said, “No, we all seem to enjoy it.”

I really don’t mind getting old, but my body is having a major fit.

Camping: where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person.

Project Manager...because Miracle Worker isn’t an official job title.

I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.

Measure once, cuss twice..

My dream job would be driving the karma bus.

THINK! (It’s not illegal.... YET)

I don’t care who dies in a movie, as long as the dog lives.

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

If you’re happy and you know it, it’s your meds.

Homeless Man

evening leaving noman through garbage of I my car, I watched him as he reached in the garbage can and pulled out fast food trash bags and inspected all that was in the thrown away bags. He did this for several minutes. He would find a few fries in one bag and a bite or two of a hamburger in another bag. You can see the hamburger wrapper by his knee where he was placing the food items he’d found.

He never bothered anyone or tried to stop and beg for money as people entered and left the store. After he went through the entire trashcan he neatly cleaned up the area and wrapped up the food he found in the dirty hamburger wrapper. My heart literally hurt for him. I am not someone who just hands out money or even helps homeless people because so many are not truly homeless. I don’t guess I’ve ever seen someone actually go through a garbage can to try to find food to eat.

I knew I had to help him. I got out of my car and asked him if I could buy him something to eat. He told me he would appreciate anything I could get him. He was on a bike and I told him if he’d follow me I’d buy him a meal at the fast food place around the block. He followed me and I bought him the biggest meal they had on the menu. The only request he gave me for his order was if I could get him a big glass of sweet tea to go with his meal!

When I brought him his food, he was so thankful. He told me his name was Steve and he’d been homeless ever since his sister died last September. He was trying to get off the streets, but it was so hard. I told him God loved him and I would pray for him. He told me again how much he appreciated the meal.

When I got back in my car, I drove off with such a heaviness in my heart for this man. I drove down the road and felt compelled to go back to help this man. When I came back he had finished his meal and was riding away. I pulled up beside him and asked him if there was any way I could help him. He told me not really. He never asked me for money. I asked him if I could

buy him a few meals and put it on a gift card for him. He told me that would be so kind. I drove to McDonalds and bought him some meals and gave him a gift card.

He broke down crying. He told me that he prayed for me today! I wasn’t sure what he meant (I was assuming he was praying for me for what I did for him) so I thanked him. He said, “No, you don’t understand. I prayed that God would send someone to buy me a hot meal today… and he sent you!” I didn’t know what to say… I was speechless! Praying for a hot meal wasn’t a prayer I had prayed today! Come to think of it, that’s not a prayer I’ve ever prayed! I always pray over my food, but I’ve never prayed for a meal… its expected! I’ve never doubted that I wouldn’t be able to eat… Tears began to fill my eyes! Oh my… how blessed am I… Maybe God used me to answer this man’s prayer… to let him know that He cares for him and knows what goes going through! But, maybe God used this man to show me just how blessed I am and what I take for granted…

He said, “You see, I have cancer!” He pulled up his shirt and pointed to a huge mass that was poking out from his stomach. He said said he knew it wouldn’t be much longer. I asked him if knew Jesus. He told me that he did. I asked if I could pray for him and he said that I could. We prayed right there on the sidewalk of McDonalds. Tears just poured from his eyes. He told me he knew that he was going to die and that he was ready to die. He was tired of being in pain and he would be better off dead because this was no life – living this way. I stayed and encouraged him for a few minutes trying to fight back my tears. My prayer is that I showed him the love of Jesus today… that something I said gave him a hope.

You see, everybody has a story! I know Steve’s story now… all because I felt compelled to help him… he ended up touching me today!

When I left him, I knew I had done what God wanted me to do! God put him in my path today… I know he did! I’ve never felt such a feeling to help someone as I did today. I was reminded again of how blessed I am! I have a vehicle that gets me from place to place, I have a roof over my head, clean clothes, money to buy a hot meal, running water, electricity, my health, a job, family, and friends! Sometimes God sends situations our way to remind us of how blessed we are!

Yes, I have been blessed, God’s so good to me! Precious are His thoughts of you and me! There’s no way I could count them, there’s not enough time, so I’ll just thank Him for being so kind. God has been good, so good! I have been blessed!

Watch and Pray

by Del Rogers

The Pastor and his Deacon put a sign on the road in front of the Church that read:

THE END IS NEAR

Just then a car full of teenagers drove by and screamed at the two men, “Why don’t you religious fanatics go back in your Church?”

As the car vanished over the hill a huge splash sent water 100 feet high.

The Deacon turned to the Pastor and said, “Perhaps we should have written:

THE BRIDGE IS OUT.

The Message Bible quotes God in Habakkuk: “Write this, write what you see. Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run. This vision-this message is a witness pointing to what is coming.

“It aches for the coming-it can hardly wait and it doesn’t lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It’s on it’s way. It will come right on time.”

Many biblical scholars and theologians believe that all the prophecies about the end time have been or are being fulfilled right now- EXCEPT ONE-that the gospel will be preached in the whole world to every person.

Many of these experts also believe that that final step is within reach because of modern communication technology. Some have even been so audacious as to predict an exact date. NOT SO!

Jesus said, “No one knows when that day will be. The Son and the angels in Heaven don’t know when it will be, ONLY THE FATHER KNOWS.”

In Luke 21 Jesus told His Disciples all the terrible things that would happen to them and in and to the world. But, He said, “Watch and pray always that you may be found faithful, worthy

to escape the consequences of all that evil so that you are worthy to stand before the Son of Man.”

WATCH AND PRAY!

Watch means to be on the highest level of alertness even in the darkest night. [Luke 12:35-37]

Pray, means to remain in constant communion with God. We must keep our minds and hearts and eyes fixed on Jesus, so that we are ready for His return at any moment.

And, by the way, we are to imitate Jesus while we wait (as the Apostle Paul did) and seek to win as many others as we can to accept Jesus as Savior and watch and pray with us until his glorious appearing.

Poetry by Jim Wilson

Pearl Diver

Now Don’t Take This Personally

Jim Wilson is a 72-year-old white male with no criminal record. He is a retired Texas small animal veterinarian currently specializing in grass growing, gardening, writing, and public elementary school volunteering in the Burton/Brenham area. Wilson is a philosophically conservative Republican with closet Democratic idealist empathy, and therefore has absolutely no credentials to be a poet. However, he has written more than 600 poems since 2000, and he feels compelled to share them with unsuspecting victims. Wilson’s publishing credits include Concho River Review, Ft Davis Mt Dispatch, and others. Wilson’s Down to Earth Poetry won the North Texas Book Festival Book Award for best poetry book, and he has been nominated for and has been finalists in other writer award competitions.

If I muck through a thousand oysters of life and find one pearl it is worth it. I shall give it away and begin a second thousand. The odds are in my favor.

The joy of life is in a successful toleration of much muck for a few pearls.

Butch and Sundance Mature

At the edge of old not there yet but I can see it from here

See people who look like they are over the edge but don’t act like it

See people who look like they are over the edge and act like it

All I ask of you - be part of my sail and not part of my anchor

If we go over the edge don’t worry about drowning the fall will probably kill us anyway

This morning I am sitting here working on a poem minding my own business, and here comes this juvenile fly with a kamikaze death wish. He has to be on me.

I brush him off my arm.

He lands on my ear.

I bat him off my ear. He buzzes my face and burrows in my hair.

I slap, slap, slap. Miss. Hurt arm, head, ear. He lights on my good typing finger. I smack fingers and keyboard. Miss fly. Screen goes black.

I am up finding a flyswatter. Ten seconds after I am back He does touch and go landings

On my arm three times. He’s driving me crazy.

Finally he appears on my notes on the desk.

Smack, dead fly, splattered notes. No more pestering. No more crazy. Suddenly I think of you

Every single soul is a poem.

“Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.”

As you view our center fold picture, I am sure you can relate if you consider it for a while. Our theme for this edition is “Who’s in Charge?” I have an idea that many, if not most of you, have said or thought this question in recent months.

We Americans across the nation have endured several months of baby formula shortages, food shortages, gasoline price spikes, workers needed most everywhere one goes, not to mention the skyrocketing prices for food, clothing, building materials, and furniture. And catastrophically, there is the lack of following laws by the criminals, the leaders, and elected and appointed judges and lawyers. And, unimaginably, criminals are going free after having broken the law. Plus, another big elephant in the room is America’s borders. Texas borders are totally out of control because of lack of manageable laws to govern illegals coming into America through our borders. All of these are concerns of many average people in this country. We Americans do and could often question, “Who’s in charge?”

My immediate answer to such a question or the place my mind immediately goes to is God. He truly is in charge. He, however, gives man free will. He gives us choice. We may go toward the good or go toward the greed, the self-focus, the anger, the indifference, the lies, the misinformation…the list could go on and on. He gives man opportunity to choose Him and to live well or to go his own way, and make his god: money, power, destruction, self-indulgence, hatred, death, and even destruction of someone who innocently thinks differently,

So, who is in charge of our wonderful country, America, the USA? Politicians we may have aligned with have recently gone to the wrong side on issues that are harmful to the average American. They’ve sold out. So, do we then think who is in charge of our government, the spending, the adherence to our Constitution, the love of freedom for all…following the basic rights our governance provides us? Give that some thought when you go to the poles and use your American right to VOTE. Be an informed citizen. Pray for our nation, pray to the One who alone can save, can salvage our United States.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, ‘I’m drawing God.’

The teacher paused and said, ‘But no one knows what God looks like.’

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, ‘They will in a minute.’

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood trying to make the matter clearer, she said, ‘Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.’

‘Yes,’ the class said.

‘Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary positions the blood doesn’t run into my feet?’

A little guy shouted, ‘Cause your feet ain’t empty.’

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six-year-olds.

After explaining the commandment to ‘honor’ thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’

From the back, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, ‘Thou shall not kill.’

We’re all gonna feel dumb when we find out AOC did get handcuffed by the same invisible guy Biden keeps shaking hands with.

Pets and Livestock, who actually is in charge here?

Have you ever found yourself asking that question when it comes to a beloved family pet or valuable livestock animal? People often do not give animals enough credit for their ability to manipulate the behavior of their pet guardians. This is a trait most parents can relate to. However, manipulation can turn into undesirable behaviors by the pet if not discouraged. An animal guardian should always be one step ahead of their pet’s behavior, asking themselves, who is controlling whom? The responsibility of animal husbandry is a huge commitment of time, finances and emotions if done properly. Before you commit to adding a new pet or livestock, you should carefully consider the added responsibilities.

Adult behavior of animals is a combination of family genetics and environmental experiences as a young developing pet. These two variables comprise about 60% genetics and 40% environmental to form the final demeanor of an adult animal. This means that analyzing the intelligence and temperament of the prospective pet along with the family tree is highly predictive of future behavior. The saying, “The apple never falls far from the tree,” comes to my mind. The rest of this article will be a cursory look at environmental husbandry practices that affect adopted animal’s behavior, both young and adult.

Do you realize that inappropriate or aggressive behavior is the number one reason why animals are surrendered to shelters, abandoned or euthanized? This sad fact could be minimized with proper socialization, training and treatment of new pets, either young or adopted adults.

Proper behavior starts with the breeder or caretaker of the animal. When you buy or adopt a new pet, go to the facility where they are sheltered. Observe the hygiene of the kennel and the demeanor of the parents and other animals. Ask questions about the health and initial socialization practices for the kenneled animals. Neonates are the most impressionable between three to eighteen weeks of age. Puppies, kittens, kids, foals and calves start bonding and emulate behaviors of other adult animals and humans very early. Large animal neonates need human desensitization or socialization just as much as small animals. Handling, touching and interacting with young large animal species will set the stage for a favorable future relationship. If you are adopting an adult pet, make several visits with the prospective animal, taking time to assess their true heart. Young puppies and kittens that are detached from the rest of the litter are more likely to be fearful, nonsocial animals. Adult adoptees are much more difficult to evaluate and require a much slower and patient approach. Even though adults can be more challenging to adopt, they are usually very grateful. Some of the happiest pets are true rescues.

Always consider the breed of the pet, realizing that once this animal matures, the character traits of that breed will prevail. Large dogs, herding or hunting animals have no business being apartment pets. These animals usually end up at a shelter or other family members house after they mature.

Once you have made your choice of a new pet, the real work begins. Understand your new family member could be very stressed. Both the young and adopted adult’s normal environments have been totally disrupted. These pets will be emotionally taxed and will need reassurance and monitoring to ensure a proper transition to their new pack. Go slow: initially restricting the pet’s movements and provide a safe haven. A covered crate or a spare bedroom is ideal. Introduce your new family member to other established pets and humans in a controlled fashion. Do not overwhelm, remember their whole world has been turned upside down. Continue the supervised introduction of the new pet to the established family until confident the pack order is determined. YOU should always be head of the pack, by the way. Keep your new pet on schedule, walk and allow to eliminate three to four times a day. This promotes a bonding with you and helps with house training. Do not free feed or allow animals to eat from the dinner table. Allowing animals to eat on their own schedule promotes finicky appetite and is indicative of a general lack of the pet’s welfare. By feeding an animal two times a day, you are ascertaining dominance and control which are paramount in your relationship with your new pet. Feeding pets table or people food, promotes further begging and gastric disturbances. This practice is highly discouraged by the author.

Once your new pet is comfortable with their environment, the next phase of socialization is to start creating the house rules. Make sure all human family members stick to the rules. Start with simple commands like “sit” and “stay”. Use a combination of small bite size treats, verbal and physical reinforcement. Leash training is very important and is often accomplished more humanely with a body or nose harness. Regardless, if you cannot lead your pet, you are NOT in charge, they are!

Be kind but firm with your established and new family member. Never strike your pet with hand or foot. Use posture, eye contact and verbal commands to show dominance and control over your pet. Inanimated objects, like fly swatters and water spray bottles work the best when correcting undesirable behaviors. Training pets and livestock to be good citizens require patience, time and courage. You must exhibit that YOU are in charge (dominant) without being cruel. Over correcting a pet or livestock can destroy the human-animal bond forever.

We have just scratched the surface when discussing animal behavior. I encourage you to research your pet or livestock additions fully before adopting. Therefore, you can properly socialize, care for and BE IN CHARGE. Unlike the current person in the White House that has allowed the liberal/woke swamp rats and cockroaches run our country into the ground.

Thanks for your time and pray for sanity to return to Washington DC.

Jack F McKemie, DVM

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

Brother John entered a ‘Monastery of Silence’ and the Abbott said, “Brother John, this is a silent monastery. You may not speak until I direct you to do so.”

Brother John lived in the monastery for five years before the Abbott said to him, “Brother John, you have been here five years now. You may speak two words.” Brother John said, “Hard bed.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” the Abbott said. “We will get you a better bed.”

After another five years, Brother John was called by the Abbott. “You may say another two words, Brother John.”

“Cold food,” said Brother John.

The Abbott assured him that the food would be better in the future.

On his 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Abbott again called Brother John into his office. “You may say two words today.”

“I quit,” said Brother John.

“I’m not surprised,” the Abbott said. “You’ve done nothing but complain since you’ve been here.”

WIFE: DID I GET FAT DURING QUARANTINE?

YOU WEREN’T

A 65-year-old friend of mine gave birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.

“May I see the new baby?” I asked.

“Not yet,” She said. “I’ll make coffee and we can talk for a while first.”

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, “May I see the new baby now?”

“No, not yet,” she said.

After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, “May I see the baby now?”

“No, not yet,” replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, “Well, when can I see the baby?”

“WHEN HE CRIES!” she told me.

“WHEN HE CRIES?” I demanded. “Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?”

“BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!”

Rusty Walton is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, but has been a proud Texan for more than forty years. He and his wife, Brenda, currently make their home in Conroe, Texas, after serving as Senior Pastor of First Baptist Church of Conroe for nearly fifteen years. In retirement, Rusty has served seven Texas churches as an Intentional Interim pastor, assisting those churches to prepare for a successful newly “installed” minister. Additionally, Rusty and Brenda enjoy their two children, son and daughter-in-law, and five grandchildren, one of whom is a proud Texas Aggie. (Whoop!)

When writer and Presbyterian minister Bob Lively was a boy he was told that if a snapping turtle grabbed your toe he wouldn’t let go until it thundered. When you’re a child you just accept such “facts” as being true, so it’s no wonder Bob developed a fear of turtles.

A snapping turtle’s bite would be excruciatingly painful, he imagined. Unlike a wasp sting that could be fixed with a little baking soda and a mother’s hug, a turtle would hang on until it thundered. He envisioned sitting in a barber’s chair getting a haircut with a turtle hanging off his big toe. Or even limping into church on Sunday morning while all the good Presbyterians scowled at the sight of a boy dragging a snapping turtle down the aisle.

Until I was in the sixth grade I seldom wore shoes, not even to school. I was told the same story about turtles Bob was told, and I believed it too. In fact, the first sermon I remember preaching was about snapping turtles, a message to my little brother about keeping his unprotected toes out of the mouths of turtles. I knew more about turtles than I knew about Jesus, so I preached what I knew. Going barefoot around Jesus seemed a good deal safer than going barefoot around turtles. Besides, I was fairly sure Jesus wanted my heart, not my toes. My boyhood home in Louisiana was in a neighborhood that seemed filled with turtles. Though I pretended to be brave, I was afraid I’d end up having to explain to my parents why I ignored their warnings about snapping turtles. I could imagine dragging an angry turtle around on my toe everywhere I went, so I stayed well clear of turtles. I suppose you could say that for a few years turtles were in charge of my life, at least to the extent that I allowed the fear of turtles rule over me.

I’m no longer a boy, so I’m not afraid of turtles any more. The truth, though, is that I still can let other fears and anxieties have too much say about how I live my life. There are other kinds of “turtles”, and if we are not careful we will let them be in charge of way too much. Fears of all kinds can dominate everything we do. The interesting thing about these other kinds of turtles is that we

Are Turtles In Charge of Your Life?

may be unaware that they are present in our lives. Through the years we may have allowed ourselves to become fearful, angry, resentful, impatient, or unkind without being aware that these “turtles” have latched on to us, and we are dragging them around with us everywhere we go. Other folks see them clearly, but these turtles, invisible to us, are affecting every part of our lives, and not in a good way. Maybe it’s time to hear it thunder and let these turtles go. Turtles were never meant to be in charge of our lives (Psalm 8:6-9).

Thanks for reading.

CDW

Reproduction only by permission

Hope you have a great day, and remember that the living is good where the people are good. And the people are good in Burleson County.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the police, who asked, “Is someone in your house?” and George said, “No,” and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

George said, “Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

“Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I’ve just shot them all.”

Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George, “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”

George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!”

Khrushchev’s Prediction (1959)

After doing our due diligence, we found claims that these predicitons are true and claims they are false. You be the judge.

A sobering reminder. It’s been almost sixty-one years since Russia’s Khrushchev delivered this. Many of you may not remember his quote or even were alive when Mr. Khrushchev of the Soviet Union made his remarks to President John F. Kennedy. ( I remember this well. I was only in my 20’s in college; but I took it seriously, even then - unlike today’s college kids!)

Do you remember September 29, 1959 ?

THIS WAS HIS ENTIRE QUOTE:

“Your children’s children will live under communism.

You Americans are so gullible.

No, you won’t accept communism outright; but we will keep feeding you small doses of socialism until you will finally wake up and find you already have Communism.

We will not have to fight you; We will so weaken your economy, until you will fall like overripe fruit into our hands.”

“The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.”

Remember, socialism leads to Communism.

So, how do you create a Socialistic State?

There are 8 levels of control; read the following recipe:

1) Healthcare - Control healthcare and you control the people.

2) Poverty Increase the poverty level as high as possible, poor people are easier to control and will not fight back if you are pro-

viding everything for them.

3) Debt Increase the debt to an unsustainable level. That way you are able to increase taxes and this will produce more poverty.

4) Gun Control - Remove the ability to defend themselves from the Government. That way you are able to create a police state.

5) Welfare - Take control of every aspect (food, housing, income) of their lives because that will make them fully dependent on the government.

6) Education - Take control of what people read and listen to and take control of what children learn in school.

7) Religion - Remove the belief in God from the Government and schools because the people need to believe in ONLY the government knowing what is best for the people.

8) Class Warfare - Divide the people into the wealthy and the poor. Eliminate the middle class. This will cause more discontent and it will be easier to tax the wealthy with the support of the poor. A perfect parallel to the Democrat agenda!!!!!

Even though the number of cats and dogs euthanized in the United States has gradually fallen since 2011, almost a million cats and dogs are still killed in U.S. shelters every year. [ASPCA. org] Mostly they are euthanized because shelters are full to capacity.

Why does this happen?

Dogs and cats are surrendered to shelters because people have too many animals; they are moving and can’t take their pets; the pet caretaker dies; or the pet caretakers can’t afford to take care of them. Then there are strays and lost pets that fill the shelters and rescue organizations. Adult cats and dogs, kittens and puppies are often dumped on back roads in our countryside, leaving them to starve or get run over by a motor vehicle.

I’m Emily, a friendly, female dog– part-pitbull. I live in a cramped, cement cell at the local shelter. I think I’ve been here for two years. No one has come to take me out of here and I’m losing hope that I will ever live outside these bars. When I was small, before life on the streets, I lived with people in a house. The people were not unkind but they were busy, leaving the house in the morning and coming home tired at night. Mostly they ignored me. One day while they were out, I dug under the fence and escaped. I returned hungry after a few weeks, but when the people realized I was pregnant, they threw me out of the house and said, “Don’t come back.”

The first key to stopping overpopulation of pets is to have females spayed or males neutered as early as three months old. There are good reasons for this. The female won’t go into heat or get mastitis. The male may stop roaming or fighting.

For those caretakers who need financial assistance to get their pets altered, there are many resource organizations that can help you do that at a low cost.

The second key is to outlaw puppy mills where females are kept in small cages and bred over and over. This amounts to animal abuse. Many states have already outlawed these mills.

Why Are There So Many Cats & Dogs? by Haven Animal Rescue of Texas

The third key to stopping overpopulation of dogs and cats is to support your local animal rescue organization. Become an adopter, a foster parent, or volunteer at a rescue facility or shelter. Haven Animal Rescue of Texas (H.A.R.T.) a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, located in Burleson County, survives on donations and adoption fees. They save lives–picking up stray cats and dogs in Burleson County. These animals receive medical care, vaccinations, and are altered before adoption takes place. You can visit their Facebook page for the latest information on adoptable dogs and cats: (Facebook.com/HavenAnimalRescueofTexas)

I’m Fatty–a tabby-colored cat with soft fur and light, brown eyes. I live in a shelter in a large room with many other cats. I don’t know how long I’ve been here. My momma was here with me before she disappeared. I had brothers and sisters, too. I keep to myself and avoid those humans who come in here. I only tolerate their holding and petting me because they feed us. I’m what you call a feral cat. Soon they will neuter me and put me back in the wild.

Feral cats are another overpopulation problem. They usually live in the wild in colonies or groups. Female cats come into heat several times per year so it’s crucial to trap them as early as possible. The females’ heat cycles can begin as early as four or five months. First, schedule a spay or neuter appointment with Aggieland Humane Society for $5. There are special traps you can borrow from Haven Animal Rescue of Texas. Feral cats must be released back into their cat communities after sterilization. This program is called Trap-Neuter-Return (TNR), a proven and effective strategy for limiting the feral cat population.

Responsible pet owners who spay or neuter their pets early, keep up-to-date on vaccinations, and provide adequate shelter and food, are a big part of the solution to overpopulation.

Political Spin

No matter what side of the AISLE you’re on, THIS is FUNNY and VERY telling!

It just all depends on how you look at some things...

Judy Wallman, a professional genealogy researcher in southern California, was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that Congressman Harry Reid’s great-great uncle, Remus Reid, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. Both Judy and Harry Reid share this common ancestor.

The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows in Montana territory:

On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription: ‘Remus Reid, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.’

So Judy recently e-mailed Retired Congressman Harry Reid for information about their great-great uncle.

Believe it or not, Harry Reid’s staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research:

“Remus Reid was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.”

NOW THAT’s how it’s done, Folks!

That’s real POLITICAL SPIN

I get most of my exercIse these days from shakIng my head in dIsbelIef.

“FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.”

Written by a 21 year old female

This was in the Waco Tribune Herald, Waco, TX.

This girl has a great plan! Love the last thing she suggests the best. This was written by a 21-year-old female who gets it. It’s her future she’s worried about, and this is how she feels about the social welfare big government state that she’s being forced to live in. These solutions are just common sense in her opinion.

PUT ME IN CHARGE . . .

Put me in charge of food stamps. No cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho’s, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.

Put me in charge of Medicaid. Then, we’ll test recipients for drugs, alcohol and nicotine. If you want to use drugs, alcohol or smoke, then get a job.

Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks? You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your “home” will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.

In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a “government” job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22-inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the “common good.”

Before you write that I’ve violated someone’s rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules. Before you say that this would be “demeaning” and ruin your “self-esteem,” consider that it wasn’t that long ago that taking someone else’s money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self-esteem.

If we are expected to pay for other people’s mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.

AND while you are on Gov’t subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes, that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a government welfare check. If you want to vote, then get a job.

The IRS Letter...

Dear Sirs:

I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on my 1996 Federal Tax return. Thank you. I have questioned whether these are my children or not for years. They are evil and expensive. It’s only fair, since they are minors and not my responsbility, that the government (who evidently is taxing me more to care for these waifs) knows something about them and what to expect over the next year. You may apply next year to reassign them to me and reinstate the deduction. This year they are yours!

The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brillant. Ask her! I suggest you put her to work in your office where she can answer people’s questions about their returns. While she has no formal training, it has not seemed to hamper her knowledge of any other subject you can name. Taxes should be a breeze. Next year she is going to college. I think it’s wonderful that you will now be responsible for that little expense. While you mull that over, keep in mind that she has a truck. It doesn’t run at the moment so you have the immediate decision of appropriating some Department of Defense funds to fix the vehicle or getting up early to drive her to school.

Kristen also has a boyfriend. Oh joy. While she possesses all of the wisdom of the universe, her alleged mother and I have felt it best to occasionally remind her of the virtues of abstinence, and in the face of overwhelming passion, safe sex. This is always uncomfortable and I am quite relieved you will be handling this in the future. May I suggestthat you reinstate Jocelyn Elders who had a rather good handle on the problem.

Patrick is 14. I’ve had my suspicions about this one. His eyes are a little close together for normal people. He may be a tax examiner himself one day if you do not incarcerate him first. In February, I was awakened at three in the morning by a police officer who was bringing Pat home. He and his friends were TPing houses. Kids at 14 will do almost anything on a dare. His hair is purple, Permanent dye, temporary dye, what’s the bigdeal? Learn to deal with it. You’ll have plenty of time as he is stting out a few days of school after instigating a food fight. I’ll take care of filing your phone number with the vice principal. Oh yes, he and all of his friends have ragng hormones. This is the house of testosterone and it will be much more peaceful when he lives in your home. DO NOT leave any of them unsupervised with girls, explosives, inflammables, inflatables, vehicles, or telephones.

(I’m sure that you will find telephones a source of unimaginable amusement, and be sure to lock out the 900 and 976 numbers!).

Heather is an alien. She slid through a time warp and appeared quite by magic one year. I’m sure this one is yours. She is 10 going on 21. She came from a bad trip in the sixties. She wears tie-dyed clothes, beads, sandals, and hair that looks like Tiny Tim’s. Fortunately you will be raising my taxes to help offset the pinch of her remedial reading courses. Hooked on Phonics is expensive so the schools dropped it. Good news! You can buy it yourself for half the amount of the deduction that you are denying!

It’s quite obvious that we are terrible parents (ask the other two) so they’ve helped raise this child to a new level of terror. She cannot speak English. Most people under eighteen can understand the curious lingo she fashioned out of valley girls/boys in the odd/ reggae/yuppie/political doublespeak. I don’t. The school sends her to a speech pathologist who has her roll her R’s. It added a refreshing Mexican/Irish touch to her voice. She wears hats backwards, pants baggy and wants one of her ears pierced four more times. There is a fascination with tattoos that worries me but I am sure that you can handle it. Bring a truck when you come to get her, she sort of “nests” in her room and I think that it would be easier to move the entire thing than find out what it is really made of.

You denied two of the three exemptions so it is only fair you get to pick which two you will take. I prefer that you take the youngest, I still go bankrupt with Kristen’s college but then I am free! If you take the two oldest then I still have time for counseling before Heather becomes a teenager. If you take the two girls then I won’t feel so bad about putting Patrick in a military academy. Please let me know ofyour decision as soon as possible as I have already increased thewithholding on my W-4 to cover the $395 in additional tax and made a down payment on an airplane.

Sincerly,

How Are Abortions Done?

Dilation and Evacuation (D and E)

NOTE: We at the Front Porch Magazine desire to warn you, our readers, that this information is graphic and sinister.

NOTE: We at Front Magazine to warn you, our readers, information graphic

Although is, women to aware of of chosing an abortion, so we to

Although it is, women need to be aware of the horrors of chosing an abortion, so we have chosen to include it in this edition.

Since abortion was legalized in 1973, approximately 1,500,000 babies have been aborted each year. One out of six women in this country have had abortions. Many times, they were not told about the procedure or the risks involved. They were most likely not informed about the development of the unborn baby inside of them.

Abortion is called a “choice.” If this is true, women should know what they are choosing!

The following is a description of the various types of abortions that are performed in this country.

RU-486

RU-486 is a drug that produces an abortion. It is taken after the mother misses her period. It can be used up to the second month of pregnancy. It works by blocking progesterone, a crucial hormone during pregnancy. Without progesterone, the uterine lining does not provide food, fluid and oxygen to the tiny developing baby. The baby cannot survive. A second drug is then given that stimulates the uterus to contract and the baby is expelled.

Women who abort with the drug RU-486 experience nausea, severe cramping, vomiting and bleeding. But the resulting emotional distress may have even more impact. Rather than being “over with” in a few minutes (as in a surgical abortion) this abortion could last for over a week. Then, when the woman finally does abort, she will expel a tiny dead human being – her baby.

Suction-Aspiration

In this method, the cervical muscle ring must be paralyzed and stretched open. The abortionist then inserts a hollow plastic tube with a knife-like edge into the uterus. The suction tears the baby’s body into pieces. The placenta is cut from the uterine wall and everything is sucked into a bottle.

Dilation and Curettage (D and C)

This is similar to a suction procedure except a curette, a loopshaped steel knife is inserted into the uterus. The baby and placenta are cut into pieces and scraped out into a basin. Bleeding is usually very heavy with this method.

This type of abortion is done after the third month of pregnancy. The cervix must be dilated before the abortion. Usually Laminaria sticks are inserted into the cervix. These are made of sterilized seaweed that is compressed into thin sticks. When inserted, they absorb moisture and expand, thus enlarging the cervix.

A pliers-like instrument is inserted through the cervix into the uterus. The abortionist then seizes a leg, arm or other part of the baby and, with a twisting motion, tears it from the body. This continues until only the head remains.

Finally the skull is crushed and pulled out. The nurse must then reassemble the body parts to be sure that all of them were removed.

Prostaglandin Abortion

Prostaglandin is a hormone that induces labor. The baby usually dies from the trauma of the delivery. However, if the baby is old enough, it will be born alive. This is called a “complication.” To prevent this, some abortionists use ultrasound to guide them as they inject a “feticide” (a drug that kills the fetus) into the unborn baby’s heart. They then administer prostaglandin and a dead baby is delivered. This type of abortion is used in mid and late term pregnancies.

Dilation and Extraction (D and X)

This abortion is also used on mid and late term babies, from 4 to 9 months gestation. Ultrasound is used to identify how the unborn baby is facing in the womb. The abortionist inserts forceps through the cervical canal into the uterus and grasps one of the baby’s legs, positioning the baby feet first, face down (breech position).

The child’s body is then pulled out of the birth canal except for the head which is too large to pass through the cervix. The baby is alive, and probably kicking and flailing his legs and arms. The abortionist hooks his fingers over the baby’s shoulders, holding the woman’s cervix away from the baby’s neck. He then jams blunt tipped surgical scissors into the base of the skull and spreads the tips apart to enlarge the wound.

A suction catheter is inserted into the baby’s skull and the brain is sucked out. The skull collapses and the baby’s head passes easily through the cervix.

Abortion: The “Choice” to Kill

Abortion is called a “choice”. What is really chosen is the killing of a human being. The methods differ but the results are the same a dead baby. Even abortion supporters admit this.

An Obituary

The Death of Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn’t always fair; And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death,

-by his parents, Truth and Trust, -by his wife, Discretion, -by his daughter, Responsibility, -and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepchildren;

I Know My Rights

I Want It Now

Someone Else Is To Blame

I’m A Victim

Pay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Maybe we can have a revival and bring back the good old days.

BELIEVE THERE IS GOOD IN THE WORLD.

The Goose Story Teamwork Lesson

When you see geese flying along in “V” formation, you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way. As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in “V” formation, the whole flock adds at least 71 percent greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own. People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone — and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front. If we have as much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation with those people who are headed the same way we are.

When the head goose gets tired, it rotates back in the wing and another goose flies point. It is sensible to take turns doing demanding jobs, whether with people or with geese flying south. Geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

What messages do we give when we honk from behind? Finally and this is important — when a goose gets sick or is wounded by gunshot, and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly or until it dies, and only then do they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their group.

If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by each other like that.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

During an impassioned sermon about death and final judgement, the pastor said forcefully, “Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement.” Glancing down at the front pew, he noticed a man with a big smile on his face. The minister repeated his point louder. “Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement!” The man nodded and smiled even more. This really got the preacher wound up. He pounded the pulpit emphatically when he came to the ultimatum: “Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement!!!” Though everyone else in the congregation was looking somber, the man in front continued to smile. Finally the preacher stepped off the platform, stood in front of the man and shouted, “I said each member of this church is going to die!” The man grinned from ear to ear. After the service was over, the preacher made a beeline for the man. “I don’t get it,” the preacher said in frustration. “Whenever I said, ‘Each member of this church is going to die,’ your smile got bigger. Why?” “I’m not a member of this church,” the man replied You drop something when you were younger, you just pick it up. When you’re older and you drop something, you stare at it for a bit contemplating if you actually need it anymore.

you are paying

for a bottle of

Water,

Isn’t Working!

erybody else was listening but etiquette dictated that everybody pretend nobody was listening.

One person on our party line---I’m using a fictitious name to protect the guilty---was Charlie. On rare occasions Charlie was guilty of being sober. When Charlie was drunk he didn’t use proper “listening in” decorum. Charlie would get on the line when Mama was using it. He would pick up and start dialing. Mama knew who it was. “Charlie, I’m using the phone now. Hang up please. You can have the line in a few minutes.”

“Ish that you Mrs. Beard? He would slur.

“Yes it’s me now get off the line please.”

“How’s Mr. Beard dong these days?”

“He’s fine. Now get off the line and let me talk.”

“I ain’t seen him since Buck was a calf. He still work at P.F. Goodrish?”

“Charlie, you know he works at B.F. Goodrich. Now please get off the line.

“How them boys doing’?”

The Party Line

I remember a pure, pristine and peaceful time when people didn’t carry their phone in purse or pocket. None of our leading luminaries envisioned a day when you would carry a phone on your person. Had you suggested it, you would have been a candidate for a white sport coat with wrap around sleeves. Your lodging would have been a rubber room.

It seems we didn’t need to talk as much then as we do now.

Until the late 40’s and early 50’s our communication choices in Bill Arp were limited. You talked to folks at church, the store or sent a penny post card. For more serious communication a letter, requiring a three cent stamp, was sent.

That all changed when Ma Bell came bellowing into the community draping her rubber coated wire over the shoulders of the utility poles. She made it possible for us to talk to Douglasville, Fairplay, Winston, Lithia Springs and every other niche of the county. To call outside the county was long distance.

The clunker phones were heavy enough for boat anchors. They were owned by Southern Bell. Color choices were black, black, and black. Our fist service was an eight party line. That’s eight families using one line. It’s like having one line with eight extensions.

Each party had a different ring to distinguish their calls from the other seven. Our ring was one long and one short. It was common practice for everyone on the party line to listen in when anyone else got a call. There was proper protocol to be observed when listening in on someone else’s call. You never picked up the receiver till the ringing stopped, indicating they had answered. You didn’t just jerk it up either. You gently lifted the receiver. You didn’t breathe into the phone or make any noise. All knew ev-

On and on it would go. The person Mama was talking to had to wait while she coaxed Charlie to quit interrupting. When Mama’s wheedling didn’t work she would detonate her lethal weapon. She would blast him off the line with the Bible. When he was drunk, the Bible made him cry. She would begin quoting it to him---it didn’t matter which book, chapter, or verse. “Charlie, did you know the Bible says…” He would blubber, “I gotta go Mrs. Beard” and hang up.

The Good Book has kept many from taking up drink. It’s strengthened others to over come the addiction. But Charlie’s the only one I ever knew who got off the party line because of the Bible.

by Neal Beard, a retired pastor living in Douglasville, Georgia. He writes history / humor about the rural northwest Georgia community where he grew up in the 40s and 50s.

Chuckles,

Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, “Jesús is watching you.”

He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, “Jesús is watching you.”

In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, “Was it you who said Jesús is watching me?” The parrot replied, “Yes.”

Relieved, the burglar asked, “What is your name?” The parrot said, “Clarence.” The burglar said, “That’s a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?” The parrot answered, “The same idiot that named the Rottweiler Jesús.”

3SurprisingWayPickleJuiceSolvesHealthProblems

Suzy Cohen, RPh www.suzycohen.com

Suzy Cohen, has been a licensed pharmacist for over 30 years and believes the best approach to chronic illness is a combination of natural medicine and conventional. She founded her own dietary supplement company specializing in custom-formulas, some of which have patents. With a special focus on functional medicine, thyroid health and drug nutrient depletion, Suzy is the author of several related books including Thyroid Healthy, Drug Muggers, Diabetes Without Drugs, and a nationally syndicated column.

Hear me out, I know it sounds weird, but pickle juice has some pretty amazing and surprising health benefits that you probably didn’t even know about. Pickles are fermented cucumbers (that have been pickled in salt water). Get it? The pickles are pickled! (A little pickle pun never hurt anyone!)

The fact is pickle juice is loaded with minerals, only 2 carbs, and 1 gram of fiber. In most cases, the water even contains healthy probiotic strains. In some states, like North Carolina where my daughter lives, pickle juice is highly regarded! So much so, that there is an annual pickle festival! When dining in NC, many restaurants have pickle juice mixed with soda on the menu. A drink called a “Pickleback Shot” combines pickle brine with whiskey! Drink that right before your next Pickleball match!

There are all kinds of specialty drinks depending on where you live. So, while it may sound like face-puckering thought, pickle juice is utilized for many quick fixes!

As for its medicinal benefits, here are 3 pretty cool ways pickle juice can improve your wellness: Pickle Juice May Help Digestion

`On some level, the lactobacillus content (while low) still provides a beneficial aid to your intestinal HEALTH. If you have an upset stomach, abdominal cramps or low stomach acid production (hypochlorhydria), the acidity of a small amount of pickle juice may restore proper pH, which in turn causes digestive troubles to subside.

Pickle Juice May Alleviate Leg Cramps

Have a cramp? Pickle juice is a popular folk remedy that supposedly relieves muscle cramps (or reduces intensity), in under a minute of consumption! Like, almost immediately! It works incredibly fast and is faster than water alone when it comes to reducing muscle cramps. It probably works faster than things like Gatorade or other similar sports drinks!

Some suggest pickle juice for the morning after a night of drinking… I don’t know about that one, but I do think it could definitely help you recover from a workout or associated leg cramps. That’s probably its #1 folk remedy use.

According to this 2010 STUDY, pickle juice has a very interesting mechanism of action in terms of its ability to relieve cramps.

More specifically, “Pickle juice, and not deionized water, inhibits electrically induced muscle cramps in hypohydrated humans. This effect could not be explained by rapid restoration of body fluids or electrolytes. We suspect that the rapid inhibition of the electrically induced cramps reflects a neurally mediated reflex that originates in the oropharyngeal region and acts to inhibit the firing of alpha motor neurons of the cramping muscle.”

Perhaps a few spoonfuls in a cup of water could help. I wouldn’t drink it straight up if you are prone to heartburn or have an ulcer. Pickle juice contains a lot of sodium, and some believe that it triggers reflexes that essentially shut off misfiring neurons quickly, thereby alleviating cramps. If you’re interested in another article I’ve written on leg cramps, read 14 Quick Hacks for Leg Cramps.

It works so well I heard a rumor that Gatorade is considering releasing a pickle-flavored drink at some point. The earliest renders of the now famous fruity-flavored Gatorade drink actually consisted of a mixture of water, sodium, sugar, potassium, phosphate, and lemon juice. If you pen out a formula for cucumbers (to turn them into pickles), that would be the perfect recipe! Other companies have jumped on the pickle train too, so there are several pickle juice drinks on the market as we speak!

Pickle Juice Might Help with Type 2 Diabetes

Vinegar is part of the pickle brine, and some studies suggest that vinegar can slightly reduce blood sugar spikes that normally occur after meals. Furthermore, vinegar may help with the body’s response to insulin. Obviously, I’m not suggesting this as a chronic, long-term solution, but in a pinch, a sip of pickle juice may be able to dampen BLOOD SUGAR due to the vinegar content.

On this continuum of blood sugar and insulin, you may find that you are better able to control your appetite once your blood sugar is more stable. So a pickle a day can help with cravings.

Summary

We probably all have a dusty, sealed jar of old pickles that we’ve forgotten about, and if you’re like me, it’s probably sitting in the back corner of our fridge waiting for a sandwich! Make sure yours are fresh, and in date, and if you eat these little guys, eat them in moderation! They’re high in sodium as a general rule. All good things in moderation as you know!

So here’s what you need to do. Eat all the pickles and then save the pickle juice. Don’t pour it down the drain. Save it for maybe 3-4 months, just in case you have a cramp, or your tummy bothers you. Add a few teaspoons to our favorite Bleu Cheese or Ranch salad dressing! Try it in a drink if you dare! There are so many things those pickle juices can be used for – I would hate to see a good pickle juice go to waste!

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

Never mess with the elderly!

An elderly couple return to a mercedes dealership to find the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy blonde.

“i thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $75,000 asking price,” said the man. “yet i just heard you closed the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady there. you insisted there could be no discount on this model.”

“well, what can i tell you? she had the ready case, and just look at her, how could i resist?” replied the grinning salesman.

Just then the young woman approached the old folks and handed them the keys.

“There you go,” she said. “i told you i could get this joker to dope the price.

“see you later, grandpa.”

The only reason our government would want to disarm us after 243 years is because they are planning on doing something to us that we would shoot them for.

If liberal politicians treat the people this poorly when we are armed to the teeth, well then, just imagine if you will, what they will be willing to do to you once they’ve taken away your guns.

Congressman Carolyn McCarthy

If guns weren’t in stores, no one could buy them.

really??

When was the last time you saw Meth on the shelf?

IMAGINE HOW MUCH

VIOLENCE WE’D STOP IF THE ANTI-GUN FOrCES SPENT AS MUCH TIME TryING TO LOCk UP CrIMINALS AND PSyCOPATHS AS THEy DO TryING TO rESTrICT OUr GUNS.

More Time with Dad

When my father, who’d been a healthy man all his life, was diagnosed with incurable cancer, it broke my heart. I knew his prognosis wasn’t good. Yet I never expected him to fade so quickly.

Just two weeks earlier, he’d been admitted to the hos pital, his body weak but his spirits strong. then, suddenly, Dad began sliding downhill, his mind lost to hallucina tions.

Oh, Dad, Are you even still in there? I wept as I watched helplessly, more frightened than I’d ever been.

An angel in white eased my father’s journey.

Then one day I watched the nurse administer an IV injection and leave. A moment later, Dad began thrashing in a seizure.

Racing to the nurses’ station, I gasped, “Something’s very wrong! I think you gave my dad the wrong medica tion.”

“That’s the right one,” se assured me. And when I talk ed with the doctor, he didn’t believe me either.

“It’s an effect of the cancer spreading to his brain,” he explained gently.

I didn’t buy it. And that night, I drove home in tears, “God,” I cried in despair. “Please help Dad...”

The next morning, I was standing by Dad’s bed when I saw a flash of white. It’s just another nurse coming to check his vital signs, I figured, not paying much attention. But then...

“Tomorrow, your father will be a lot better,” she said. “A new doctor ordered tests, revealing the medication he

was given was intoxicating him to a dangerous level. It has been discontinued now, and you will notice a bit difference in your father,” she repeated. “Tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” I said, relief washing over me as I held my head in my hands. But then...

Where did she go? I sondered.

In hindsight, I see how strange this was...she was. Her uniform was starched white like nurses from bygone days, nothing like the blue and green scrubs the other nurses in the hospital wore.

Plus, after years working in a medical clinic myself, I know nurses aren’t authorized to discuss the things she told me.

Still, back then, all I could think about was Dad--and I prayed what the nurse had said was ture. And the very next day, Dad’s eyes were not only open, but bright and smiling again!”

“Look at you!” I beamed.

His cancer wasn’t cured, or course, but we still received a miracle. Because from that day on, Dad was combortable again. Coherent. Happy.

Every day, we were able to talk and laugh together. He even came home to celebrate his 60th wedding anniversary with Mom!

Four months later, Dad drifted away peacefully in his sleep.

I’ll miss you forever, I whispered, though I knew Dad was finally at peace. And since then, I’ve come to believe that the nurse I met was an angel sent to bring me peace, and to give us all a most remarkable gift: a little more time with Dad.

Problems Solved by Government Spending

The Way I See It

All across America, you can hear the people yell.

The America so many fought for, is going straight to hell. There’s crime and corruption, from sea to shining sea, It’s all across America, not only in D.C. America is falling; she’s becoming a disgrace.

All the other countries are laughing in her face. Those currently in charge, claim they’re building her back better, Yet they’re tearing her people apart; not bringing them together.

Their failed policies, continue to grow by the numbers. We’ve gone from making America great again, to dragging her down under.

They want to play on your emotions, so you’ll think they are sincere.

All along they plot and scheme, while keeping you in fear. They want to take away your freedoms, starting with your guns, Their mission won’t be complete, until they control everyone.

They’re pushing radical agendas; they’ll stop at nothing to see them through. They’re not just coming after you and me, they want our children too.

They promote broken families and the killing of unborn babies, Are puberty blockers really okay? Or even men becoming ladies?

They’re indoctrinating our schools and trying to erase our history, The America we loved so dearly, is becoming just a memory. Parents and patriots are being labeled, as domestic terrorists, While the real criminals walk free, with just a slap on the wrist.

“Defund the police!” Was one of their favorite battle cries. How can those who support them, not see through all the lies. They’ve opened up our borders, letting millions walk right in, And now they need more money; I guess the pot is getting thin. 87,000 new IRS agents, who do you think they’re coming for?

They’re not after the billionaires;

they’ll be knocking on your door!

These people are sick and twisted; when they speak, they make no sense.

It’s all about staying in power, regardless of the consequence, But there’s one thing they’re forgetting; their power is make-believe.

The real power is high above them, and He will bring them to their knees.

Those that have been so blind, will hopefully one day see That they have all been fooled, by this democratic party. How can they not see, the damage that’s been done?

Damage so profound, that it’s affecting everyone.

We have to take America back; midterms are drawing near. Let’s start by making her red again, the choice is perfectly clear.

It’s only a matter of time; until their reign comes to an end, And the One who’s America mend.

Renita Odstrcil is

She is a member of the National and Realtors and the local B/ CS Association of Realtors. She is currently affiliated with CrossTown Realty which is located in Caldwell and serves the Brazos Valley area. Renita has been in the real estate business since 2009 and would love to help you with your real estate needs. She may be reached at 979-220-9106 or by email at info@agentrenita.com

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 60 will never wake you in the middle of the night & ask, ‘What are you thinking?’ She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over 60 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She goes and does something she wants to do, & it’s usually more interesting.

Women over 60 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.

Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 60.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 60 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest.. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 60 for a multitude of reasons.

Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal.

For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, woman over 60, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress.

wIth the usA so DIvIDeD

I’m just glad to be on the side that believes in God, has the most guns and knows which restroom to use.

“As I Grow In AGe, I vAlue women over 60 most of All

The Great PARACHUTE Jump

Edwin H. Cooper, writer of human interest stories and articles, has been published in many Texas magazines and newspapers, and prior to his death was active in numerous civic and school organizations. His book, 40 Years at Aggieland, was published in 2013.

folk all over town. Our only options were simulated jumps with whatever materials were at hand, mainly handkerchiefs, string and weights of every description. Rocks, nuts, bolts, spark plugs, for example. We tried everything we could tie onto.

The home-made parachutes fell short of perfection. Sometimes the ‘chutes wouldn’t open. Others would open and drip like lead bricks. Some flitted away with the wind like disoriented butterflies. Always there seemed to be a weight problem.

Deep research of the dictionary led to the inspiration for the great parachute jump: “parachute, a cloth contrivance shaped like an umbrella when expanded, and used to retard the falling speed of a person or thing dropping from an airplane. The key word was umbrella.”

Mother’s giant beach umbrella was taken from storage and found to be in excellent condition. It fit exactly the dictionary description of a parachute, and it was ready made for action.

Dogfights, as they were called, between United States Army Air Force planes and those of the enemy during World War II were dutifully recorded on Movie-Tone News and in war movies shown on the silver screen. Though U.S. pilots occasionally were outgunned, the pilots nearly always ejected from their flaming craft and parachuted to safety onto land or sea below.

To stimulate interest in early Christmas shopping the San Marcos Chamber of Commerce capitalized on the war-time popularity of parachuting. At a well-advertised moment, a fully dressed Santa Claus would hang onto the wing of a single engine airplane droning slowly over the court house square as the crowd gathered below. Suddenly, Santa would release his grip and thrill the crowd with his descent onto the vacant lot where carnivals were held, a block off the court house square. This jump officially launched the Christmas Season.

Because of war-time heroics and Santa Claus himself, handlaunched miniature parachuting became the obsession of young

With the help of a stepladder, I mounted the corrugated iron roof of our garage, dragging the beach umbrella along with me to the peak, some 14 feet above the gravel driveway. With the umbrella opened and held firmly by two sweaty hands, the gravel landing area looked hard and a long way off. But I was convinced that the perfect parachute would cause me to waft lightly through the air, much as a sycamore leaf in the gentle fall breeze.

I jumped while screaming Geronimo! As you are supposed to. The descent was very rapid and no wafting occurred whatever. Instantly after landfall, the metal tipped umbrella pole pounded heavily atop my large toe on the right foot. While attempting to scream in pain my chin clamped down on my bended knee, causing a severe bite to the tongue. And, my-oh-my, did I see stars as I lay in crumpled, painful defeat.

The only good part of the great parachute jump was that there were no witnesses to my humiliation. So I had time to properly develop the story.

This episode brought about my retirement from the dangerous field of parachuting. It enabled me to spend a great deal more time helping G.B. Rush build his homemade canvas glider and launching track up on the top of Adobe Cliff, overlooking the football practice field where we would land.

Are You In Charge of Your Life?

Becky Schenk, wife to Raymond Schenk, was born and raised in Burleson County and is a mother of three children, Austin, Alyssa and Easton. She loves reading, listening to spiritual or motivational speakers, networking and volunteering. Becky is a Licensed Realtor at ORO Realty in Caldwell and may be reached at 979-587-0059 or becky@ororealtytx.com. Becky would love to hear from you and receive feedback on her writings.

This is a question that many people ask themselves, and the answer can be different for each person. Some people may say that they are in charge, while others may say that their boss, their parents, or some other force is in charge. The truth is, though, that you are always in charge of your own life. You have the power to choose what you do and how you act.

Develop your inner strength. Many of us find ourselves in difficult situations on a daily basis. We may be dealing with difficult people at work or struggling to overcome our own personal challenges. Set aside time each day for self-reflection. During this time, focus on your breathing and allow your thoughts to flow freely. You can also connect with nature, meditate regularly and practice compassion for others.

Focus on one thing at a time. It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life and lose focus on what’s truly important. When you focus on one task, you can give it your full attention and get it done more quickly and efficiently. And when you’re finished with that task, you can move on to the next one without feeling overwhelmed. So next time you’re feeling scattered, take a deep breath and focus on one thing at a time.

Simplify your to do list. If you’re anything like me, your to-do list is a neverending source of stress. There always seems to be more to do than there is time in the day, and it can be tough to stay on top of everything. Try to break down each task into smaller, more manageable steps. Take advantage of technology and use apps or tools to help you keep track of your tasks. Don’t be afraid to delegate or ask for help when needed. There’s no shame in admitting that you can’t do it all yourself, and delegating tasks can actually help simplify your overall workload, thus taking charge of your life.

The answer, of course, is that we are all in charge of our own lives. We make our own choices and we are responsible for the consequences of those choices. Talk to a trusted friend or mentor when making difficult choices if you feel you need to. So the next time you find yourself questioning who’s really in charge, just remember that it’s you! You’re the one in charge of your life, so make it count!

Ten Things That Will Disappear In Our Lifetime

1. The Post Office

Get ready to imagine a world without the post office. They are so deeply in financial trouble that there is probably no way to sustain it long term. Email, Fed Ex, and UPS have just about wiped out the minimum revenue needed to keep the post office alive. Most of your mail every day is junk mail and bills.

2. The Check

Britain has already done away with checks as of 2018. It costs the financial system billions of dollars a year to process checks. Plastic cards and online transactions will lead to the eventual demise of the check. This plays right into the death of the post office. If you never paid your bills by mail and never received them by mail, the post office would absolutely go out of business.

3. The Newspaper

The younger generation simply doesn’t read the newspaper. They certainly don’t subscribe to a daily delivered print edition. That may go the way of the milkman and the laundry man. As for reading the paper online, get ready to pay for it. The rise in mobile Internet devices and e-readers has caused all the newspaper and magazine publishers to form an alliance. They have met with Apple, Amazon, and the major cell phone companies to develop a model for paid subscription services.

4. The Book

You say you will never give up the physical book that you hold in your hand and turn the literal pages I said the same thing about downloading music from iTunes. I wanted my hard copy CD. But I quickly changed my mind when I discovered that I could get albums for half the price without ever leaving home to get the latest music. The same thing will happen with books. You can browse a bookstore online and even read a preview chapter before you buy. And the price is less than half that of a real book. And think of the convenience! Once you start flicking your fingers on the screen instead of the book, you find that you are lost in the story, can’t wait to see what happens next, and you forget that you’re holding a gadget instead of a book.

5. The Land Line Telephone

Unless you have a large family and make a lot of local calls, you don’t need it anymore. Most people keep it simply because they’ve always had it. But you are paying double charges for that extra service. All the cell phone companies will let you call customers using the same cell provider for no charge against your minutes.

6. Music

This is one of the saddest parts of the change story. The music industry is dying a slow death. Not just because of illegal downloading. It’s the lack of innovative new music being given a chance to get to the people who would like to hear it. Greed and corruption is the problem The record labels and the radio conglomerates are simply self-destructing. Over 40% of the music purchased today is “catalogue items,” meaning traditional music that the public is familiar with. Older established artists. This is also true on the

live concert circuit. To explore this fascinating and disturbing topic further, check out the book, “Appetite for Self-Destruction” by Steve Knopper, and the video documentary, “Before the Music Dies.”

7. Television Revenues

The networks are down dramatically. Not just because of the economy. People are watching TV and movies streamed from their computers. And they’re playing games and doing lots of other things that take up the time that used to be spent watching TV. Prime time shows have degenerated down to lower than the lowest common denominator. Cable rates are skyrocketing and commercials run about every 4 minutes and 30 seconds. I say good riddance to most of it. It’s time for the cable companies to be put out of our misery. Let the people choose what they want to watch online and through Netflix.

8. The “Things” That You Own

Many of the very possessions that we used to own are still in our lives, but we may not actually own them in the future. They may simply reside in “the cloud.” Today your computer has a hard drive and you store your pictures, music, movies, and documents. Your software is on a CD or DVD, and you can always re-install it if need be. But all of that is changing. Apple, Microsoft, and Google are all finishing up their latest “cloud services.” That means that when you turn on a computer, the Internet will be built into the operating system. So, Windows, Google, and the Mac OS will be tied straight into the Internet. If you click an icon, it will open something in the Internet cloud. If you save something, it will be saved to the cloud. And you may pay a monthly subscription fee to the cloud provider. In this virtual world, you can access your music or your books, or your whatever from any laptop or handheld device. That’s the good news. But, will you actually own any of this “stuff” or will it all be able to disappear at any moment in a big “Poof?” Will most of the things in our lives be disposable and whimsical? It makes you want to run to the closet and pull out that photo album, grab a book from the shelf, or open up a CD case and pull out the insert.

9. Joined Handwriting (Cursive Writing)

Already gone in some schools who no longer teach “joined handwriting” because nearly everything is done now on computers or keyboards of some type (pun not intended)

10. Privacy

If there ever was a concept that we can look back on nostalgically, it would be privacy. That’s gone. It’s been gone for a long time anyway.. There are cameras on the street, in most of the buildings, and even built into your computer and cell phone. But you can be sure that 24/7, “They” know who you are and where you are, right down to the GPS coordinates, and the Google Street View. If you buy something, your habit is put into a zillion profiles, and your ads will change to reflect those habits.. “They” will try to get you to buy something else. Again and again and again.

All we will have left that which can’t be changed....... are our “Memories.”

Paul Harvey How It All Works

Tribute to Police Officers

Contributed by Burleson County Sheriff’s Department Gene Hermes, Sheriff

The people elect leaders of our nation, their state and the county and city where they reside. These leaders are elected to represent the people; therefore, the voters are ultimately their boss. Trust is placed in these individuals to do the job they are elected to do. They must be good stewards of taxpayers’ money and make decisions that are right, legal and ethical. They must also be willing to listen to everyone, not just the people who voted for them.

The United States Constitution established America’s fundamental laws and government. It was also drafted to guarantee certain rights for its citizens. The Texas legislature, a body of elected representatives, passes laws. It is the job of law enforcement to uphold and enforce these laws. Our system of government has been in place for over two-hundred and forty-six years. The United States Constitution begins with these words “we the people,” therefore the people are the foundation.

As law enforcement officers, we must remember that we are sworn to “protect and serve” our citizens and equally enforce the laws as they are written. we must never attempt to interpret laws in our own personal way. Furthermore, we must equally apply the law to all citizens. Consistency and transparency are keys to building relationships between law enforcement and members of the community.

The sheriff in a county is elected by the people to enforce laws and serve as a representative and symbol of law enforcement.

The Texas Code of Criminal Procedure provides those duties the sheriff and his deputies are to carry out, and the Texas Penal Code outlines the laws to be enforced. when law enforcement partners up with its citizens to help detect, deter and reduce crime, the citizens thrive and communities grow. we can always ‘get the job done,’ but how effectively and efficiently we ‘do the job’ depends on the relationship with our people.

The vast majority of citizens are good, hardworking and God fearing people. These citizens support law enforcement and are willing to get involved, some in different ways than others to help their communities. Law enforcement officers cannot be successful without the support of the citizens they are sworn to protect, and society would not exist without law enforcement officers who answer the call.

Remember, elected officials work for the people, people must be willing to work together, and we can never forget we all work for God.

The policeman stood at the Pearly Gates his face was worn and old.

“What have you done” St. Peter asked “to seek admission here?”

“I was a cop back down on earh for many many a year.”

The gates flew open widely and St. Peter tolled the bell

“Come in and take a harp.” he said “You’ve had enough of hell!”

Queen Elizabeth II’s Reign Comes to an End, But

To a world where Kings and Queens Are monarchs every day.

I was given a crown to wear Or a halo known by some. The difference is up here, They are worn by everyone.

I felt a sense of peace, My reign had seen its end. 70 years I had served my country, As the people’s friend.

Thank you for the years, For all your time and love. Now I am one of two again, In our palace up above.

Philip came to me today And said it was time to go. I looked at him and smiled as I whispered that “I know.” I then turned and looked behind me And saw I was asleep. All my family was around me, And I could hear them weep. I gently touched each shoulder With Philip by my side. Then I turned away and walked With my Angel guide. Philip held my hand, As he led the way

A Letter from the Bunker Boys

Dear Ms. Griner,

We hope this letter finds you in good health and we understand you are having some rough times in your life.

We are a group of old Vietnam Combat Veterans from North Carolina.

Our average age is around seventy years old. We call ourselves, The Bunker Boys. We spent a lot of time living in rat and snake infested holes in the ground known as Bunkers.

When we were not in the bunkers, we were crawling through the jungle being shot at and shooting back at little people wearing black pajamas.

We must be honest and tell you that the only thing we may have in common with you, is that we too, were drafted.

We noticed you were drafted number one in the WNBA draft a few years ago.

Since we all were drafted, we thought we might let you know what it was like when we were drafted. Unlike you, most of us had no college. The people of the United States drafted us. We consisted of all colors, religions and personal beliefs. We had no choice of which team we played for, Army, Navy, Air Force or Marines.

We were sent halfway around the world to fight and kill people we didn’t know in a place we had never heard of. We were paid, we know you can relate to this, $3.00 a day and required to work 24 hours a day if needed. When we returned home many or most of us were treated very badly by our fellow Americans. We were spit on, hit by bottles and rocks as the police stood by and watched. We did not complain, we just continued on in life and made the best of it.

We fought for God, family, country and of course, the Flag and the National Anthem; a poem that was written by, of all people, a lawyer.

He wrote the poem as he watched bombs fall on and kill fellow Americans.

Ever since that night, our nation has played that little poem before millions of social functions.

For some people it’s just a little song. For a Veteran it is a reminder of how many men and women of all colors, have given their life so the rest can have the right to be free.

We found in our research that you requested the National Anthem not be played at sporting events. We find it odd that now you are requesting the citizens of the United States to pay for your release from a jail in Russia.

Yes, we the taxpayers are paying for all of those diplomats working on your release.

Our government told you, and all fellow Americans in Russia, to leave Russia after the invasion of the Ukraine. You play basketball in a country that is known to treat Americans badly.

You fly a great deal and must know by now, all the rules of what one can bring into a country. All of us that travel know the rules for entering a foreign country. You are a guest and must go by the rules of the land.

By your own admission, you were attempting to bring an illegal substance into a country that is known for its long prison sentences. You had to know this because you are making a million dollars a year to play a game and hold a college degree.

At six feet nine inches tall, you know that security officers are going to focus on you from the moment you stand in the boarding pass line.

We also noticed that you are now saying you placed the drugs in your luggage by accident. Please, that is something an 18-year-old would say. We also found out that your net worth is somewhere around $ 5 million bucks for playing a game.

For old guys like us, living on a fixed income, that’s a lot of money for just playing a game. Don’t get us wrong; we are not against you. We all went and fought so all Americans can have the freedom to make their own choices.

We just hope the next time you have to endure the playing of that little poem, you will pay close attention to the “Land of the free,” part.

Wishing you the very best, The Bunker Boys