Beyond the Cosmos

BEYOND THE

COSMOS

A POEM BY

JOEY HARVEY

Grandma, What our last Conversation would have been. I’m spinning at 200 mph, and I can’t stop. For years I couldn’t stop, and no matter how far I’d extend my arms, I couldn’t find a grip. Until there was your hand, but now I find myself reaching for something that’s not there. You’re not there. I’m lost without your guidance, your kind and reassuring words that I could fall into I yearn to be wrapped in your arms that moved mountains and parted the waters like Moses.

I’ve always believed that perfection within a person was unattainable, but you came close. You’ve always told me to have courage and always be kind, and now I’m asking you to be kind. Because it’s taking me a lot of courage to say this Call me Joni. I’m tired, I said. I’m tired of being instinctively perceived for what’s between my legs. I’m tired that my heart races because I can’t decide what bathroom to walk into. And I’m more than just tired grandma. I’m angry. I’m hurt. I feel like I’m bursting at the seams. The threads that bind my body were once spun into gold, but through time it’s unraveled. I’m unraveling. Is there a way that the vessel that I’ve grown into for 24 years isn’t mine? Is there a way that I can be seen beyond my biology or a binary? Grandma, can you see me.

I’ve harbored so much of this for years, and I ask you not to tend to my wounds as you always would but to hold my hand as I mend these threads of gold into the person I wish you could’ve met. Embrace me as you once did to Joseph and Joey. Love me from beyond the cosmos.