Imposter, Who?

IMPOSTOR, WHO? IMPOSTOR, WHO?

SUMMER 2021WHO? IMPOSTOR, WHO?

STORY BY ERIKA PAZ PHOTOS BY EMILY CHEN

You belong here. Stop thinking otherwise. Here’s how.

Deep inside, I believed that the shame from possible failure was much worse than the regret from not trying at all.

A few months ago, I got a message from one of my professors. It was an invitation to apply to a prestigious internship. My first thought was, Why do they think I’m good enough to apply for this? Don’t they know I actually have no idea what I’m doing?

After a few moments of trying to find a way to politely say ‘no thank you,’ I eventually responded. “The idea of applying to something like this terrifies me. I don’t think I would have ever even considered applying to it.”

“We all have impostor syndrome to push through, but I assure you that you are in this league,” they said.

I have experienced impostor syndrome my whole life, but in that moment, it became painfully clear how much I had let it affect my life. I had spent so much time and energy doubting myself, that the mere thought of failing was enough to stop me from trying. Deep inside, I believed that the shame from possible failure was much worse than the regret from not trying at all.

Impostor feelings that go unchecked can cause us to cope in a variety of ways, including avoidance. Some of us try to fly under the radar, keeping to ourselves so we don’t garner any attention and risk being exposed.

Some of us over prepare— excessively—because we believe we have to make up for what we think is our own ineptitude. Some of us chronically procrastinate, setting ourselves up for failure that reinforces our beliefs.

Some of us self-sabotage by constantly changing majors, showing up late to an interview, or engaging in substance abuse.

And then, there are some of us who never finish, or never start, that job application, that art project, or that personal statement. If we never start or finish, no one can judge us on the result.

At the very least, all of these coping mechanisms make life more difficult. At their worst, they can cause serious life repercussions. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Valerie Young, author, public speaker, and impostor syndrome expert, gave us some advice on how to change our perspective so that we don’t let impostor feelings get in the way of our success.

IMPOSTOR, WHO?

“We have these feelings despite evidence of the contrary, evidence of our accomplishments and abilities.”

WHAT IS IMPOSTOR SYNDROME?

So what exactly are we talking about here? To start off, the official term is impostor phenomenon, but it is also known as impostorism, or impostor experience.

“It’s the belief, often unconscious, that deep down, we’re really not as intelligent, capable, competent, talented as other people think we are,” Young said. “We have these feelings despite evidence of the contrary, evidence of our accomplishments and abilities.”

She continued to say that selfbelieved impostors diminish or dismiss their accomplishments by attributing them to outside factors. Maybe someone helped you get that job or internship. Or maybe you were in the right place at the right time. Or you were just plain lucky to get that good grade. The belief that we didn’t earn our accomplishments leads to the fear that someone will find us out.

But it’s not always about accomplishments.

“When you’re one of the few, or the only, or the first to do something, you’ve got that kind of pressure to represent your entire group,” Young said.

The pressure to not fail can be even higher for women, people of color, and people with disabilities. International students also have to navigate these experiences, but in a language and culture different from their own, adding an additional layer of pressure.

WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT IT?

We’ve established why we experience impostor syndrome—deep beliefs that we aren’t good enough, sometimes accompanied by societal pressure to represent an entire group.

We know that it can manifest itself in overpreparing, flying under the radar, self sabotage, among others.

But how do we fix it? Is it possible to get over it? Will the feeling ever go away? Young says there are three steps to minimizing imposter syndrome: Normalize it, understand your situation, and keep going.

Normalize

Like many other experiences that have stigma attached to it, one of the first steps in making progress is being able to identify those feelings of impostorism when they are occurring and then share them with someone.

Often, we think we have a unique experience and that nobody understands how we feel. According to Young, up to 70% of people have these feelings to different degrees at one time or another. Knowing that your classmate or your professor have also had this experience allows us to realize that we are experiencing something absolutely normal.

“It’s a really important first step,” Young said. “But it’s just a first step. Sometimes we can get stuck in endlessly talking about our supposed ineptness and we never move the needle.”

Young believes that just talking about it won’t help unless we also actively work on changing our frame of mind.

“The only way to stop feeling like an impostor is to stop thinking like an impostor,” she said.

Understand the Situation “Athletes don’t

How do we stop thinking like an impostor? Young made sure to point out how normal it is to feel anxious, worried, and nervous about being in certain situations. Learning something new, giving a presentation, taking an exam, interviewing for a job, starting a project —the list goes on. The important thing is to understand that everyone has the potential to feel this way, including people who don’t experience impostorism.

For them, the difference is in how they think about the situation. They are no more intelligent, capable, or competent than the rest of us, they’re just thinking different thoughts.

“They think differently about competence and what it means to be competent,” Young said. “They think and respond differently to failure, mistakes, and constructive criticism. And they think differently about fear.”

“Once you understand that, when you have a normal impostor moment, hit the pause button. Become consciously aware of, ‘What is the conversation going on in my head?’ and see if you can reframe it the way somebody who doesn’t feel like an impostor would.”

So when you find yourself in an impostor moment, notice how you are talking to yourself. Change the conversation from “everyone will know I don’t know what I’m doing,” to “I’ve never done this before, but I am capable of figuring it.”

You can also think about it, Young said, like a sports match, in which someone will win and someone will lose.

“The person who loses, you could be crying on the bench, but as long as you gave it your best shot, you studied hard, you didn’t procrastinate, then there’s nothing to be ashamed about.” Young said. “You can be disappointed, but not ashamed.”

“Athletes don’t just hang up their uniform and go home when they lose a game. They go get coaching, they watch the game tape, they figure out what went wrong. They try harder, and then they say, ‘We’ll get them next time.’”

just hang up their uniform and go home when they lose a game. They go get coaching, they watch the game tape, they figure out what went wrong. They try harder, and then they say, ‘We’ll get them next time.’”

— Valeria Young

Keep Going, Regardless of How You Feel

“The last step is to keep going, regardless of how you feel,” Young said.

Sometimes we want to feel 100% confident before we begin something new. Or we want to wait until we don’t feel like impostors before we apply for that job. Or we want to feel like we belong before we voice our opinion.

“The reality is, that’s not how it works. Feelings are the last to change,” she said.

As Young mentioned, in order to change those feelings, we need to change our thoughts. So it’s important to continue with our work, continue to try new things, and continue to take a chance, regardless of how we feel.

“The goal is not to never feel like an impostor, [the goal is] to be able to have the tools and the insight and the information to be able to talk yourself down faster,” Young said.

And even if you fail, Young insists that you have to keep going. Failure is normal and it happens to everyone. The key is to change how you see your own failure. Take it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Take it as a second chance to try a different approach.

At the very least, see it as an interesting experience of which you can tell fun stories in the future.

“It’s about shooting high,” Young said.

Personally, I am still waiting to hear back from that prestigious internship. I have no idea if it will work out for me or not, but I feel better knowing that I at least gave it a shot. And even if I don’t get the outcome I would like, I am still learning something from the experience.

I am learning to get out of my own way by challenging my thoughts of doubt regardless of how they make me feel. I am learning that there is no shame in failure, that I deserve to give myself credit for my accomplishments, and that I am not alone in this experience. I am learning that even if I keep feeling like I don’t belong, I have the power to change that frame of mind and overcome my self doubt.

I am learning that I am here today because I earned my accomplishments. I am learning that I belong here because there is no place where I don’t belong. I am learning that I am good enough. And so are you. We all are.

So it’s important to continue with our work, continue to try new things, and continue to take a chance, regardless of how we feel.