DIG MAG Winter 2020 by DIG MAG LB

Long Beach

Community

Inspiration

Lifestyle

Winter 2020

ridelbt.com/students

MOVING YOU

THROUGH WHEN YOUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;RE THANKFUL TO LEAVE THE LIVING ROOM CLASSROOM.

We know this semester hasn't been easy. LBT is thankful for the Long Beach student community for staying safe and riding out these crazy months with us.

LB INSIDER 05 06

Editor’s Note

Bottom’s Up: Shake It Up

Mind Your Health: Advice For Handling A Breakup

Dig In: That’s A Wrap

Hidden Figures: How One CSULB Student Artist Honors Her Heritage

Dig the Look: Representing Culture Through Fashion

FEATURES

BYA DIY Family 26 BRIANA MUTLU

Look a little closer at the Long Beach punk scene, and you might be surprised by what you find.

A 23-Year Transformation 32 BY JOEY HARVEY

They came out in high school, but they didn’t feel the sense of release they expected. Their real journey of self-discovery began soon after the pandemic took hold.

BYTheJACLYN Struggle to Find Myself 36 LIM

All around her, friends were starting businesses, getting married and earning master’s degrees. She started to wonder: What does she have to give the world?

BYTheRJHindu Times 40 SINGH

Representations of Asian Indians in American television and film tainted his childhood. He didn’t start to see himself in the characters and stories, until now.

BYReport Card 44 JACLYN LIM

Which houseplants are the easiest to care for? We tested five popular ones to give you the answer.

WHO ARE WE?

DIG MAG is the insiderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s guide to Long Beach for the CSULB community, inspiring readers to immerse themselves in the Long Beach lifestyle through in-the-know stories about the latest in food, arts, entertainment and culture; in-depth features about people and trends on the campus and in the city; poetry, fiction and literary journalism written by students; and beautiful photography and design. Published by the Department of Journalism and Public Relations at CSULB, it is produced entirely by students.

Editor-In-Chief

Digital Director

Senior Editor

Online Editor

Alejandro Vazquez Erika Paz

Features Editor Joseph Harvey

Art Director

Anika Ljung

Reina Esparza

Assistant Online Editor Matt James

Gabby Gobaton

Graphic Designer Mijin Kim

Multimedia Editor Paula Kiley

Social Media Editor

Photo Editor

Grace Widyatmadja

Staff Writer

Jaclyn Lim Jia Ning

Faculty Advisers

Niyah Maldonado

Assistant Social Media Editors Sabrina Gobaton Kyle Do

Robin Jones Jennifer Newton Gary Metzker

Web: digmagonline.com Instagram: @dig.mag Twitter: @digmag Facebook: @digmagazine TikTok: @dig.mag Submissions:

digmagonline@gmail.com

Advertising:

Carter Magee advertising@daily49er.com 562-985-1740 California State University, Long Beach, 1250 Bellflower Blvd., LA-4 203, Long Beach, CA 90840-4601 ÂŠ DIG and 49er Publications Board 2020 DIG MAG is a publication of the DIG and 49er Publications Board.

INSIDER · EDITOR’S NOTE

WINTER 2020

DEAR READER, There are so many aspects to our own individuality that make up who we are. Some aspects like hobbies and interests may change with time, but prominent contributors like experience and cultural background stick with us for a lifetime. All these factors make up our identity. Just like our fingerprints, there are no two same people with the same identity. We each have our own memories, traditions and lifestyles that shape us into who we are. Personally, I have always struggled in understanding who I was. It was difficult to grasp the idea that we all have so many components within us; the very thing that makes us all unique. It took me years, but I finally became comfortable enough with own my identity. Comfortable enough that I no longer see someone new in the mirror each time I walk past it. Although I am still understanding my identity and who I am, I have made a ton of progress from where I was four years ago, as a freshman in college. Just like me, there

are many students who also go through their internal discovery while in college. We each have a different story to tell. Therefore, the winter edition of DIG is focused on identity and the many aspects that make us who we are; from how we dress, to what we eat, to what we identify as, to the different communities we are a part of. The list is never-ending. Each story in this magazine shares an element of someone’s identity that makes them who they are. As readers, it is important for us to be respectful of those who are vulnerable enough to tell their story and personal experience. There is never room for hate or judgment when reading about someone’s journey to selfdiscovery. I invite you to read these stories with an open mind.

LOVE ALWAYS,

Alejandro Vazquez (EDITOR-IN-CHIEF)

INSIDER · BOTTOMS UP

SHAKE IT UP Brighten up your holiday season with these cocktails from around the world. STORY & PHOTOS BY ALEXANDER BROOM

THERE are more cocktails than there are nations, and if you’re anything like me, you’d like to sip and see them all. Unfortunately, given the circumstances, we have to adjust to what is possible right now. So, we opened up the book to find some international cocktails worthy of your palate, to shake, stir and serve to your friends and family.

NEGRONI Few cocktails are as simple and delicious as the negroni. This Italian invention is made in an ice-filled and chilled glass with equal parts gin, bitter citrus aperitif and sweet red vermouth. Once stirred, its vividorange color is as striking as its beautiful balance of botanical flavors. It does justice to the Italian culture and is one of my favorite cocktails. You’ll need: • 1½ oz Bitter Citrus Apéritif • 1½ oz Sweet Vermouth • 1½ oz London Dry Gin • 1 cup ice

WINTER 2020

PISCO SOUR Pisco is a Peruvian spirit made of grapes that’s essentially a distilled wine. This cocktail is much more technical than any other drink in this list, as most true ‘sours’ are. A coupe-style champagne glass is the ultimate way to serve this classy, Peruvian staple. You’ll need: • 2 oz Pisco • 1 oz fresh-squeezed lemon juice • ½ oz simple syrup • 1 egg white • Angostura bitters (for garnish) • Plenty of ice • Cocktail shaker or a large mason jar and lid

Add your pisco, lemon juice and simple syrup to an ice-filled shaker. Seal the shaker and give it a good shake before adding your egg white. Once your egg whites are added, shake again to create a foam. Strain into your chilled coupe glass, allowing the silky smooth egg-white foam to nearly breach the rim of the glass. To garnish cleanly, add your bitters to a small spoon and slowly drip them onto the foam. The Pisco sour goes down incredibly smooth, and will likely be gone before you know it. It’s sure to impress your friends and family while opening up their cultural cocktail palate. Some say its invention was followed immediately by a mic drop. It’s that good.

PALOMA Mexico’s most popular drink includes lime and tequila, yet it is no margarita. The Paloma is more of a fizzy, grapefruit margarita. Like the Negroni, it is also built and stirred in a glass starting with around 2 ounces of blanco tequila, ½ ounce lime juice — which is roughly the juice of a lime, minus a slice for garnish — and finally top off your glass with some grapefruit soda. Like any other Mexican recipe, there are endless variations and styles, so feel free to add your own twist. Just be sure to use good tequila and fresh limes. You’ll need: • 2 oz Blanco Tequila • ½ oz lime juice • 4 oz grapefruit soda

SIDECAR Our final cocktail is of English origin and it’s an absolute classic. The sidecar is, in its own way, an intoxicating trip through the countryside sitting shotgun on a motorbike. Turn too hard to one side and you’ll find yourself tumbling around in the thicket. Two of these will have you tossed, so don’t go too hard with this sour, potent and citrusy English libation. There’s not a lot of drink to this so be sure to use a lot of ice in your shaker if you want that wonderful martini glass filled high. In a shaker, add an ounce and a half of cognac, but

if it’s out of your price range, brandy will do. Don’t skimp on that single ounce of triple sec and half an ounce of lemon juice. Remember to always use fresh citrus. Either an orange peel or a lemon peel will do as a garnish, but I chose a sugared rim. You’ll need: • 1½ oz Cognac (or Brandy) • 1 oz Triple Sec • ½ oz lemon juice

INSIDER · DIG IN

THAT’S A WRAP STORY & PHOTOS BY JASON SOLARES

These five tamales from across Latin America may be cooked the same way, but they all bring different flavors.

TAMALES are a staple in holiday eating traditions all over North, Central and South America. The typical tamal is made with corn masa and a filling. Then it’s wrapped in corn husk or banana leaves and steamed until the masa doesn’t stick to the husk or leaf. For as long as I can remember, my Aunt Lidia would make Guatemalan tamales every Thanksgiving and Christmas. I remember looking at the stock pot that she would steam the tamales in, amazed at how large it was. There must’ve been at least a hundred tamales in there, considering each of our 30 family members ate a few, then each family went home with tamales in-hand. As I’ve grown up, I’ve learned to appreciate how each bite of tomatoes, bay leaves and red peppers complement the corn masa that she spends hours making. My aunt’s recipe is just one way to make tamales. Here are a few other ways used to make the holiday staple.

WINTER 2020

TAMALES MEXICANOS (MÉXICO) HOW THEY’RE MADE: Mexican tamales are probably the most popular type in Southern California. They are made with a corn-based masa, wrapped in corn husk, and filled with beef, chicken, cheese or pork. The sweet variety has no filling and is fruit-flavored, usually with strawberry or pineapple.

WHERE TO BUY THEM: Northgate Market 2038 E. 10th St., Long Beach Patricia’s Restaurant 3626 Atlantic Ave., Long Beach

HOW THEY’RE SERVED: There are so many ways to enjoy Mexican tamales. Some eat them with sour cream, fresh cheese, and Tapatio. Some put pico de gallo and shredded lettuce on top. Others get more experimental and squeeze limes and Sriracha on top. Mexican tamales are simple, so there’s opportunity to try all sorts of toppings.

TIPICOS & CHUCHITOS (GUATEMALA) HOW THEY’RE MADE: While Mexican tamales are a little closer to cornbread in texture, Guatemalan tamales are softer. They’re also made with corn masa, but are wrapped in banana leaves and stuffed with pork or chicken and red chili sauce. Chuchitos are an alternative type of Guatemalan tamal. They’re closer to a Mexican tamal in texture, but smaller and chubbier. They usually have a thin layer of pork or chicken filling.

WHERE TO BUY THEM: La Esperanza Restaurant 22832 S. Western Ave., Torrance (Authentic Guatemalan Tamales) Guasalmex 150 W. Holt Ave., Pomona (Chuchitos)

HOW THEY’RE SERVED: Because Guatemalan tamales are filled with salsa and vegetables, toppings aren’t as common. To add spice, some just add Tapatio or Valentina. Chuchitos, though, are drenched in recado salsa (achiote paste) and topped with grated cotija cheese.

INSIDER · DIG IN

Nacatamal is a word derived from the Nahuatl language in Mexico and Central America. Nacatl means meat, and tamalli means bread-like steamed cornmeal.

WHERE TO BUY THEM: Las Segovias 8014 Seville Ave., Huntington Park Daysi’s Gusto 625 S. Riverside Ave., Rialto

NACATAMAL (NICARAGUA) HOW THEY’RE MADE: Nicaraguan tamales are very similar to Guatemalan tamales. They’re made with corn masa wrapped in banana leaves and have the same soft texture. The first ingredient is the meat, which is combined with sliced potato, onion, mint, rice and on some occasions, raisins or prunes. They’re generally bigger tamales, so after they’re wrapped in banana leaves, they’re tied with twine.

HOW THEY’RE SERVED: Nacatamal are garnished with a sliced tomato on top to add color and flavor. These are cooked ready to eat and don’t need too many toppings.

WINTER 2020

TAMAL PERUANO (PERU) HOW THEY’RE MADE: Traditionally made with choclo or Peruvian corn, Peruvian tamales have a texture that mixes Mexican and Guatemalan tamales. The signature point with these tamales is that corn is grated straight into the masa. Another crucial ingredient is the Peruvian yellow pepper. Because of the fresh yellow corn and the yellow peppers, these tamales have a yellow color. Similar to Mexican tamales, Peruvian tamales are filled with beef, chicken, pork or cheese.

WHERE TO BUY THEM: Regina’s Restaurant 11025 Westminster Ave., Garden Grove

HOW THEY’RE SERVED: It’s common to find Peruvian tamales served with salsa criolla, which is made with Peruvian pepper, sliced red onions, cilantro and lime juice. These tamales are served with a side of french bread roll.

TAMAL CUBANO (CUBA) HOW THEY’RE MADE: Cuban tamales are different from other tamales in the way they are made. The texture is similar to Mexican tamales, except the filling is mixed into the masa instead of being placed in the center of the tamal. Cuban tamales are made with pork and are wrapped with corn husks before getting steamed. These tamales are made with field corn because it isn’t as sweet as the corn bought in stores. HOW THEY’RE SERVED: Cuban tamales get the same topping treatment as Mexican tamales. Pretty much anything goes. WHERE TO BUY THEM: Felix Continental Cafe 36 Plaza Square, Orange

INSIDER · MIND YOUR HEALTH

ON TO A FRESH START STORY BY JOHANNA RODRIGUEZ

BREAKUPS are always hard, but having to go through it during a pandemic — when everyone is supposed to socially distance themselves — makes the healing process harder. At a time when loneliness is prone to transpire, Elizabeth Mendoza, a thirdyear criminal justice student, had to overcome her heartbreak and start over in a new place all by herself. She had many sleepless nights, and there were nights when she cried herself to sleep, but she didn’t let those feelings bring her down. She always reached out to her friends and found the guidance she needed. Everyone’s situation is different, but if you are going through a similar experience, hopefully you can learn from Mendoza’s tips.

Everyone’s situation is different, but if you are going through a similar experience, hopefully you can learn from Mendoza’s tips.

Combating Loneliness and Isolation When the pandemic started and the stay-at-home order was put in place, all of Mendoza’s travel and gathering plans were canceled. Stuck in her own home with little to no social interactions, Mendoza found the healing aspect of her breakup harder to manage. She was supposed to head to Thailand in the summer to visit a longtime friend, but now has only communicated with the friend through phone or video calls. “Because of the pandemic, it made it hard to be able to socialize and keep distracted,” she said. Moving back in with family was an inevitable choice but, at the same time, the best choice for Mendoza. “Being with my family and talking about how I was feeling 12

really helped me,” she said. Having a support system helped her cope with the loss of a partner. “But at the end of the day, it’s hard not to feel lonely sometimes because no one can replace that spot of the person who’s gone,” she said. “Joining a breakup support group was a very good choice for me,” she said. She joined a support group on Facebook and found it to be a helpful tool for her. “I was able to relate to so many others that I felt less alone.” Mendoza tends to shut people out when she’s hurt, but she quickly found out that the best option is not to push people away. “Being surrounded by those who love and care about you really helps,” she said.

WINTER 2020

Regaining Confidence “Working out has been a great distraction for me,” Mendoza said. She feels best after a good hike at a nearby trail. Mendoza eventually did move away from her family to a new state, Arizona, to continue her college education. She lives near a forest where there are a lot of hiking trails. “When I’m not working out at home, I try to make time to go with friends and take a hike,” she said. Adjacent to working out, Mendoza mentioned she feels better when she eats healthfully. “I feel more energized and get more stuff done,” she said. Besides being a full-time student, she also works full-time at The Habit. “Working on myself internally has been my main priority right now,” she said. She elaborated that sometime after the breakup, she felt it was the right time to evaluate what went wrong and how she could come out of the situation stronger. “Moving to a new state, with a fresh start and figuring myself out was my focus,” Mendoza said.

New Strengths, New Me A lot has changed for Mendoza. As she matures, her confidence radiates through her new identity. New strengths have developed with her friends and family’s support, who are her source of happiness. She also reconnected with her faith and has not looked back. “After my breakup, I got really close to God again,” she said. “Praying every night and reading the Bible here and there. It made me who I am today.” “I’ve grown a lot as a person,” Mendoza said. “I am responsible. Understanding. Caring. I always look at the positive in every situation because it really does affect a lot.” 13

INSIDER · HIDDEN FIGURES

CULTURAL CLUES STORY BY ERIKA JOHNSON

PEOPLE tend to lose themselves when they are caught up in the moment of life. It is easy to forget the origins of one’s roots and assimilate to one’s external environment. Melissa Flores, a CSULB art student from Ecuador, can attest to this feeling. However, she manages to remember her own identity based on the hidden creative messages embedded into her many works of art. Flores first came to America when she was a toddler and was home-schooled all the way until she went to high school.

WINTER 2020

“I liked the idea of interweaving Ecuadorian symbols into the portrait of my brother because it is subtle but I know my roots are still there.” ‑ Melissa Flores

Her artistic talents didn’t just magically appear. She first started drawing when she was a kid and became captivated by crayons. She then began painting and polished her skills. Once she got to high school, she had an art teacher who inspired her to be serious about her art. Since then, she’s been dropping clues of where she’s from in her paintings. “I was always interested in kind of Ecuadorian subjects, and I would incorporate landscape and certain imagery into my art,” Flores said. Flores incorporates red, yellow and blue into her artwork because they are the colors of the Ecuadorian flag, and she uses textile patterns, such as a checkered pattern, that she had seen on an Incan tunic. She used this type of imagery in a portrait of her brother. “I liked the idea of interweaving Ecuadorian symbols into the portrait of my brother because it is subtle but I know my roots are still there,” Flores said. She draws inspiration from visiting Ecuador, which she tries to do every summer. She is most thrilled when she attends the family reunion that is just on the coast of her hometown.

As she walks the streets of her hometown, Quito, with her cousins she can clearly see the buildings and landscape of her country. From these experiences, she is inspired to paint the images that she sees. She sees the colonial-style buildings made of brick and cobblestone. The influence of Catholicism reflects the architecture of old churches, and the city is surrounded by hills and volcanoes. She can smell the crisp air but also a lingering scent of smog that smells similar to an old antique store. Flores reminisced on a distinct memory when she tagged along with her mother to get some decorations for their home in Ecuador. Her mom was building her own home there and needed towels and trash cans to place around the house. They visited the store, Supermaxi, which is similar to Target because they have a section with groceries and housewares as well. “We went from store to store and my mom couldn’t find what she was looking for,” she said. “That’s how I got my inspiration for the medicine cabinet drawing because in America there are so many options and Ecuador is so limited.” 15

INSIDER · HIDDEN FIGURES

“I like that I can still remember where I came from because it has made me who I am and it makes me more open to learning about other cultures.” ‑ Melissa Flores

She described Supermaxi’s decorations as simialr to the ones you would find at the 99-cent store, but even then she thinks the 99-cent store has a better selection. Flores draws her inspiration from her experiences in South America, and when she reflects it in her art she sometimes refers to a famous artist in Ecuador, Guayasamin. He uses his art to show the importance of indigenous people and brings them to the forefront of South American culture.

Flores’ artwork is not something she has to constantly explain to others. But when she’s asked, she finds joy in explaining the hidden meaning behind her work exploring her culture. She likes pointing out the symbolism and explains to people the historical significance behind her pieces.

A piece that holds a lot of meaning to her is a landscape painting that illustrates where she got her inspiration when she visited the capital of Ecuador, Quito. This is the place that Flores was born, and she will always remember the llamas in the hills. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I like that I can still remember where I came from because it has made me who I am and it makes me more open to learning about other cultures,â&#x20AC;? Flores said.

INSIDER Â· DIG THE LOOK

WINTER 2020

THE ROOTS OF FASHION STORY & PHOTOS BY GRACE WIDYATMADJA

Five students share how their identity connects to their culture’s traditional clothing. In our search for identity, fashion plays a crucial role in allowing us to visibly express where we come from, who we are and who we want to become. With Long Beach State being home to a diverse student body, there are many students with cultural ties to their fashion. These five individuals showcase the traditional fashion from their cultures and share how their identity and culture connect.

SEAN Liem is a second-year film major who emigrated to the United States from Indonesia at the age of 13. He wears a traditional Indonesian garment known as a batik, which is also the name of the technique and pattern used to create the designs on the textile. Indonesian batiks are worn for everything from regular business attire to extravagant celebrations. The patterns all vary in design and have been influenced by many different cultures. “My culture is the roots of where I came from,” Liem said. “It’s who I am and who I was. Something I can come back to and still feel comfortable and welcomed to be a part of.”

STEVE Muñoz is a fourth-year public relations major with a minor in TESOL, teaching of English to speakers of other languages, and is a part of Long Beach State’s Grupo Folklorico Mexica, a Mexican folk dance group. Muñoz wears a traditional charro, which is an outfit seen as a representative symbol of the Mexican culture. Muñoz began dancing at a young age when he lived in Mexico and continued it as a hobby once he moved to the United States in order to stay connected to his heritage. “I saw my culture in the dance and it helped me be proud of my roots,” Muñoz said. “When I dance, it’s a chance for me to show that I’m proud of who I am.”

LIZETH Mendoza is a second-year health administration major and is a part of Long Beach State’s Grupo Folklorico Mexica, a Mexican folk dance group. She wears a traditional dress native to the state of Oaxaca, Mexico,when she performs Mexican folk dances. Mendoza has never been to Mexico, but participating in the traditional dances allows her to feel connected to her culture. “I am able to express my culture through dance and I enjoy showing what I do,” Mendoza said. 21

INSIDER · DIG THE LOOK

THIRD-YEAR psychology major Kaylin Jones wears an abaya, a garment worn by some women in Muslim culture predominantly in North East Africa, Somalia and Morocco. Growing up, Jones faced discrimination being a Black woman who practices the Muslim faith. “I know there aren’t many Black Muslims, [so] when I would tell people that I’m 22

Muslim, they wouldn’t believe me because they said I didn’t look like one,” Jones said. “My identity as a Black woman strongly connects with my identity as a Muslim woman because being spiritually connected with the Islamic faith is very important to me. I am very proud of my faith regardless of the discrimination I face for being both Black and Muslim.”

CRYSTAL Kem is a fourth-year public relations major and is the daughter to two Khmer refugees. The garment that Kem wears is called a Sompot Hol, a traditional garment that Khmer women wear when going to the Buddhist temple to pray. Khmer women choose the color of these garments based on their preference. In these photos, Kem chose to wear her mother’s purple Sompot Hol because it’s her mother’s favorite color.

“It’s important for me to embrace my culture and continue to learn more about Cambodia’s history. My identity has much to do with understanding where my parents came from and the horrors they endured as children,” Kem said. “It’s motivated me to work toward building a life for myself to make them proud and so they can live stress-free knowing that I built a stable life for myself.” 23

hat we see on TV can impact us in many ways, even in ways we might not acknowledge. The struggle comes when one does not see themselves in what theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re watching. Model and staff writer, Rajvinder Singh, writes about his experiences from not seeing Asian-Indians representation in Hollywood starting on page 40.

Photographer: Grace Widyatmadja Model: Rajvinder Singh

FEATURES · A DIY FAMILY

A DIY FAMILY The punk scene has a reputation for chaos and destruction. Look a little closer at Long Beach punks, through, and you’ll find a close-knit group with a deep bond. STORY AND PHOTOS BRIANA MUTLU

SUNNYSIDE CEMETERY, OCT. 2, 2020 They danced on top of the forgotten dead. They pissed on gravestones and tramped with heavy boots on the shards of broken glass that found its way into the blades of grass. The only light in the cemetery came from the headlights of a ‘90s white sedan that powered the generator for the amps, mics, and so on. Through the headlights’ narrow scope, you could see genderless forms in lingerie, or trenchcoats, piercings, maybe green hair, or blue, or whatever color they wanted for the evening. Vague notes of an Ibanez guitar fought its way through the seemingly never-ending hissing of balloons, some being filled up, others being sucked empty. A man stood on the side of the band and sold two balloons of nitrous oxide for five dollars each, but you could talk him down to three. A deep voice struck a deal with a young girl, not yet 18. Hiss, hiss, hiss. She shook and seized, her head convulsing on a gravestone, dreaming of the deceased below her. The singer howled in guttural tones. “Is she alright?” a distant voice asked. The double bass roared like thunder. Cold water flowed from a friendly hand onto her trembling face. The guitar screamed dissonant notes. Her eyes opened. “At least she’s alright,” someone said. For those who walk on them rather than among them, they are lazy and ungrateful. For those who blind their eyes and deafen their ears to them, they are going through a phase. For those who have never known them and only hear exaggerated tales of their characters and culture, they are summed up in the word often uttered in incredulity: punk.

BACK IN THE DAY The Long Beach punk scene as we know it today, filled with diversity, protection and positivity, stands in dichotomy with its violent history. When punk found a comfortable home in LA county during the mid-‘80s, there was a great difficulty separating the cruelty in its urban life from the punk scene. Gangs ran rampant and ruled the streets; it was only natural that they weasled themselves into a music scene that defined itself by hard-rocking, aggressive tempos. The legendary venue Fender’s Ballroom, located inside Lafayette Hotel in downtown Long Beach, which has since been turned into a Best Western, was a hub for some of the most memorable Long Beach punk acts and the brutality that bred in the scene. Notorious gangs like Long Beach’s Vicious Circle found their way to Fender’s and gave the ballroom its reputation that ultimately led to its closure. Shootings, stabbings, mini-riots, meth use and heavy drinking were an average weekend for Fender’s. PEN1, one of the most powerful and dangerous white supremacist street-prison gangs, originated from the Long Beach hardcore punk scene in the early ‘80s, even adopting their name from the British hardcore band Rudimentary Peni. The gang supplied the music scene with methamphetamine and incensed tension that often led to brawling and could escalate to murder. In the ‘90s, the gang shifted the focus of its operations less on Long Beach hardcore, but rather to suburban kids of Orange County, where they remain and allow Long Beach’s punk scene to flourish in an acceptance of all creeds.

THE GUARDIANS

They speak out where others have been silent and they exile the threats to their community. Their morals are simple and they uphold them above all else, above any fraternity bond imposed on them. No racists. No pedophiles. No sexists. Any color, shape, or mindset is welcome, except for an oppressive one. Ever Norman, 19, stands tall like the last cowboy of the Wild West. He coughs up tar, drinks malt liquor and spits fire. He has a heart of gold, but would kick somebody’s teeth in if they deserved it. Norman sings and plays guitar for his band, Ever’s Dead Babies. “It’s an expression of freedom, [the punk scene]. It’s a release for some people. People feel a lot of aggravating things throughout their life, and it gives you just a place to be wild,” Norman said. “To be free and do your thing, it’s really liberating in a lot of senses. Especially for kids who if they try and express themselves at home or with their friends, sometimes their parents beat their ass or talk shit on them.” Norman and many of the most influential bands in the Long Beach punk community use social media as a way to keep their community clean. Allegations brought against a band or individual are taken seriously, and the word of the victim is favored above the perpetrators. Upon hearing about misconduct that goes against their simple morals, the word is spread usually through Instagram and the band or individual is quickly ostracized, no more shows, no more support, no more community for them. Ever Norman, 19, is the singer and guitarist for his band Ever’s Dead Babies.

FEATURES · A DIY FAMILY

THE LEGENDS

Zaine Jakeem, 27, has been an integral part of the Long Beach punk scene for more than eight years. Jakeem is the frontman and bassist for Wacko, one of the few modern bands who have earned their place of immortality in punk. They turned a Denny’s into a punk venue, they set a coffin on fire (with a friend in it), they rejected sponsorship from Green Day, they protested with their music in front of Long Beach City Hall. Jakeem, along with band members Luc, Allen, Gabby and Poppa Micheal, have secured a place in Hardcore Heaven. “As corny as it sounds, kids are fucking dead without it.,” Jakeem said. “The world is so fucked up and when you have this punk shit to help us survive it’s a really interesting cultural phenomenon and it’s enough to give us something worthwhile to keep living...I don’t think people understand that when they look at what we’re doing.”

From the time Jakeem was 14, when he first got introduced to the punk community in Santa Ana until COVID-19 hit, he has frequented at least three punk shows a week. Jakeem found solidarity in the Long Beach punk community as it offered more diversity than OC. “Culturally Long Beach is just more eclectic. There’s crips living in the gay neighborhood next to professional skateboarders next to whatever the fuck we are,” Jakeem said. “We all hang out in the same areas every day so it’s really tightknit yet open.”

Zaine Jakeem, 27, is the frontman and bassist for Wacko.

WINTER 2020

THE GARDEN PUNKS

The Long Beach punk community has given rise to a new subculture within the subculture: garden punks. A founder of this community is Todd Weaton, the bassist for Nightmare Enterprises, the final piece in the holy trinity of the Long Beach punk trifecta. “A garden punk is basically about being able to sustain yourself, growing your own food and also sustaining your soul,” Weaton said. “Doing what makes you happy without harming animals or the people around you. Creating a garden for you and all of your loved ones to share.” Weaton has a soul that is both pure and without malice. He has shed tears over his friends eating meat and cuddles with them through their hard times. Garden punkery flourishes in Long Beach because of the multicultural city that gave it its name. Much like a well cultivated garden, it is diverse.

Luc, Wacko member and Nightmare Enterprises founder/keyboardist, said, “We are a lot of different people who are happily joined over this wonderful medium of positivity and open acceptance. As far as the garden punk community goes, it’s both non-exclusive and isn’t dependent on people’s different preferences or styles, whether in lifestyle, culture, or clothing.” Mostly vegan or vegetarian, garden punks bridge the gap between hippies and punks, often dedicating their time to what Luc and Todd refer to as “holy work.” Holy work, in its simplest terms, may be defined as random acts of kindness. It can be offering help to the homeless or just being there for a friend who got too drunk. The community often uses its resources to help those plagued by misfortunes. If something got stolen, someone needs to get bailed out of jail, or even just needs an ear to listen, with fundraisers or with fists, the punks are there. 29

FEATURES · A DIY FAMILY

THE ARTIST

KT is an artist in the Long Beach punk scene who creates album and flyer art and gives tattoos to those in the community. She was raised in a religious household and took solace in the scene at 15. Art and the punk community have had a long symbiotic relationship. Posters, photographs and flyers that bands thrive on are dependent on the creatives in the scene. When you think of that scene at the cemetery, refrain from looking through rose-tinted glasses. Refrain from looking at their antics or rough exteriors as depraved.

“It’s really just a big fucked up family,” KT said. “You pull your friends together, you pull the little you have out of your ass and make something happen. DIY is a big aspect of it, being creative and figuring out how to create something when you don’t have any money.” The punk community is more than what people think it is. Consider the number of hours these individuals spend at their friend’s sides providing the love that their family maybe didn’t give them. The time spent watering their flowers and vegetables. The time spent searching for freedom and childhood in a world of limits that forced them to grow up before their time. KT and many others think of punk as more of a mentality than a fashion statement or kind of music. “It’s about respect. Respect those around you, respect yourself, and do what you want, you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.”

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KT, in her one bedroom apartment in Eastside Long Beach, which she shares with a friend and two cats. Behind her is her artwork that she has been able to make rent off of the past few months.

FEATURES Â· A 23-YEAR TRANSFORMATION

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A 23-YEAR TRANSFORMATION The pending tale of my gender identity. STORY BY JOEY HARVEY I FIRST “came out” when I was 15 years old, during a time when I was most scared and susceptible to the opinions of others. At that age, I knew that I liked men and I knew that coming to terms with this revelation and self-acceptance would be a journey. I don’t remember the exact person I told, nor do I remember the moment when I actually came out, but I do recall the sensations of the never-ending anxieties, the constant whispers of fear and one’s internalized homophobia saying “everyone knows.” All of these feelings eventually took over leading up to the moment when I disclosed, “I’m gay.” Typically, you’re supposed to feel this sense of release and immense pride, or in my case, disassociate and imagine breaking out into a musical montage to Diana Ross’ “I’m Coming Out,” including the imaginary “Paris is Burning” ‘80’s fantasy that I so badly wanted to happen. That was not the case. I didn’t get the feeling of release or pride and I sure as hell didn’t get my musical montage. I remember coming out and just feeling like, “Dope, now what?” It drove me mad because after hearing countless stories from other queer folk coming to terms with their own identities, I felt that there was something I was missing. Though everyone’s experience is different and unique, it ultimately ends with that “aha” moment. I didn’t feel that. Overall, it made me feel more and more insecure...and my irritating astrological Capricorn placements needed answers so I could logically assess what the hell was happening to me.

As my journey toward my self-identity progressed, I felt that I kept hitting walls. I would come out as gay to more and more people, but I still felt unfulfilled and more confused as to why I felt like this. It terrified me to the point that I felt I couldn’t even talk about it or confide in anyone when I was at my lowest. With time, it got worse. It heightened my anxiety, and the void that I felt led me to a long-standing depression.

“I would come out as gay to more and more people but I still felt unfulfilled and more confused as to why I felt like this.” While quarantined, I dove into the depths of my mind. With a month-long extended spring break, I had a lot of free time to explore the waters that my trauma had created. My whole life, I had refrained from exploring this area that grew inside of me. As selfish as this sounds, it wasn’t until the world fell to shit that I started to have major revelations that allowed me to learn, grow and accept the person I am. I am non-binary. For those who may be wondering what “non-binary” means, we must first understand that the commonly misunderstood concept of gender falls into a two-sided spectrum called a gender binary. Our society has adopted this uninformed ideology that says there are only two gender identities, male and female, excluding everything in-between or outside of this binary. But individuals like myself, who are non-binary, don’t abide by this fictional binary or fall on either side of the male or female spectrum. 33

FEATURES · A 23 -EAR TRANSFORMATION

At the end of the day, like sexuality, gender really is a construct that many people still don’t understand. We live in a culture that’s obsessed with labels and categories pertaining to gender. Humans are conditioned to follow these norms even before a baby leaves its mother’s womb. This is why I absolutely loathe gender reveal parties and refuse to support a fad that dictates a human’s identity before they can decide for themselves. These implied expectations that parents force upon their children are what created the ingrained ripples of trauma throughout my childhood. When I was a kid, I found comfort in the small act of playing with dolls, but since I was a “boy,” that wasn’t ok. My father’s side of the family would often remind me of this. Instead of letting this little act just be, I was given looks of disdain, scowled at and given countless lectures as to why this was wrong. I was lucky enough to have creative freedom in my parents’ home, so dolls were tolerable. However, throwing a Little Mermaid birthday party for all my Christian school friends was pushing it. As a child, I knew I was different. Sure, I liked boys, but I never felt that I looked like the person I saw in the mirror every morning. My reflection haunted me because it would remind me that I wasn’t the good boy my mom raised; the boy that would open doors for strangers or the boy who would lead my high school football team to victory, as I imagine my dad wanted. In the mirror, I saw someone who was afraid. At 23, I still saw that scared little kid. They became my ghost. And my ghost haunted me for years.

It wasn’t until the start of the pandemic that I started to listen to what they had to say. When the world was filled with so much uncertainty and panic, I found time to go back and look deeper into these memories that my child-self held onto for years. It wasn’t easy, but patience got me through it. After digging deeper and deeper, I eventually came to terms that my gender is something I hold on to. It’s sacred. It means that I have the power and freedom to be who I want to be and my sex doesn’t have to mirror that. There’s a great deal of liberation and beauty that comes with every queer person’s “coming out” process. It’s how I found liberation and beauty; by reclaiming the identity that I falsely lived by. A way that I facilitate that liberation is by using they/them/theirs pronouns. Honestly, preferred pronouns are not as tricky as people make them to be. Though I’m not strict on enforcing others to practice this terminology when referring to me, it’s something to keep in mind. It’s a matter of treating people with respect. For other individuals, it’s a personal preference that’s determined by their word. As I write this outside of my favorite coffee shop, I can’t help but smile underneath my facemask. After re-reading what’s written above, my eyes swell with tears that roll down my cheeks, reflecting like microscopic diamonds. At this moment I feel scared. Just as scared as I was as a child, just as vulnerable as I was at 15, but I feel that I’m where I’m supposed to be. As for the little kid who wanted a Little Mermaid birthday party — they’re no longer a ghost, but a part of me. I still feel their presence in times of fear and stress, but we somehow manage to get through the ever-changing currents of life. It took a long time to finally let them in and a part of me regrets not listening to them sooner. But they’re ok. We’re ok. And lucky for them, they’ll get that Little Mermaid birthday party. I’m just sorry it took 17 years.

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FEATURES Â· THE STRUGGLE TO FIND MYSELF

WINTER 2020

THE STRUGGLE TO FIND MYSELF STORY BY JACLYN LIM

It’s a few months before I officially turn 22, and to say the least, it feels a little nervewracking. I’m at a stage in my life where relatable tweets about being financially and emotionally unstable are actually real. At this age I have friends who have successfully started their own businesses and are striving financially, some who are getting married, some who are graduating with masters’ degrees— and others, just like me, still floating in uncertainty of what the future holds. One day in the midst of the pandemic, I began to experiment with digital art and managed to create one that was pleasing to the eye. I then thought to myself, “If I had more advanced tools, wow, I could make a career out of this.” Instead of projecting this idea in a positive way, it made me realize something about myself. It made me frown; this idea of making a career out of something I recently learned has crossed my mind on many occasions when I’ve discovered a new hobby, but I never stick to it. Anyone who knows me knows that I have the willpower to do just about anything. Just during this pandemic alone, I’ve put together a bake sale, a

thrifting Instagram account and a series of digital art. It only takes me a few days to learn something new, and the outcome never meets my expectations. It is not the best but somewhat good enough to be commissioned. Being ordinary in almost everything I do makes it a struggle because I am not specializing in one thing. This is when it really hits me, when I think of what people associate me with when they think of me. I have not found my niche that sets me apart from everyone else. 37

NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS If you think about it, jobs only hire you if they feel like you’re capable of thriving in that position. So how can I compete with those who already know so much more about that one specific thing? Juggling the urgency to look for a job and one that I’d love makes me question my own self identity. Like, who am I, really and what am I meant to do? Something I really hope to accomplish is to work at a job I love and, as Steve Jobs, the inventor and co-founder of Apple, once mentioned, “The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.” I may not be sure of what fits best for me in a job, but at least I love myself enough to know I deserve a job that I enjoy.

Even with the variety of skills I have, it’s depressing to know that there are others out there who are more skilled, bolder and more experienced than I am at anything I can do. But as I worked through the days of questioning my self identity, I also came to a realization of how little I appreciate what I have been given. Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” We often compare ourselves to others, but when you come to think of it, the real competition is within ourselves. What we need is for the competition within ourselves to keep going because this is our hunger to make ourselves improve and hence, we learn about our own limits and capabilities through it.

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THE KEY IS TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD What I concluded was that one’s self identity is forever growing. I may not specialize in one particular thing right now, but as long as I continue to move forward with a motive, it will take me somewhere. Being in my early 20s, I shouldn’t be afraid to test the waters. Maybe one day, I’ll latch on to something that I see myself working on long-term. I am motivated to put in the effort to anything I feel I’m capable of. To sum up my search for self-identity: There is no one definite right answer. My self-identity is made up of my curiosity for everything I come by, every question I

ponder, and every effort I put into learning something new. Why? Because each step of the way, I learn something new about myself, and that is how my self-identity is built. So if you’re like me, still pondering and lost in the ocean, my advice to you is to embrace your struggles and keep questioning your curiosity. There are always going to be bigger fish out there, but there isn’t going to be one that thinks or acts like you. Finding your self-identity starts by appreciating who you are within.

THE HINDU TIMES STORY STORY BY BY RJ RJ SINGH SINGH

My earliest recollection of representation through television was, for the most part, a negative experience, representing everything that I didn’t think I was and not everything I could be.

IF I had an analogy for growing up as an

Asian Indian in California, it’s like taking a reoccurring exam that determines my lifestyle. How appropriate. We absorb culture as we go about our lives, and on more than one occasion, you’ll assess these experiences to answer one question: How do I want to be represented? Our idea of the Asian Indian derives from years of television and cinema being embedded into our subconscious. This is especially real for Indians attending public school.

My earliest recollection of representation through television was, for the most part, a negative experience, representing everything that I didn’t think I was and not everything I could be. The public school atmosphere reflected that shame I carried for years, going as far as changing my name to RJ in the fourth grade. American television gave my adolescence Indian silhouettes like Apu from “The Simpsons” and Raj from “The Big Bang Theory.” These were my initial introductions to representation in the states. I’ve never identified myself as that Indian.

My first experience with Indian actors on the silver screen was through a plethora of Bollywood films my mother would play for me. It was the only time that Indian characters were treated with some depth and care despite the goofy musical archetype and over-the-top melodrama. “I feel like there’s more heart to [Bollywood films], more feeling to it,” my sister Ramneek Kaur said. “In terms of the U.S., there are so many better ways to represent us rather than caving into stereotypes.”

FEATURE · HINDU TIMES

Danny Boyle’s “Slumdog Millionaire” gave kids in grade school the impression that I behaved like the characters in the film and that India was a foul, distasteful place to be. When it came to Boyle’s reach to American audiences, it didn’t play into my favor.

“ Danny Boyle’s ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ gave kids in grade school the impression that I behaved like the characters in the film...”

The embarrassment of the musical trope was excruciating as an insecure child. I saw the culture in an obscured light when kids reenacted sequences to get a rise out of me. However, Boyle flipped the script in 2019 with his love letter to The Beatles in his film, “Yesterday.” The director afforded Himesh Patel, an Indian man, the opportunity to sing and perform songs by four prominent white men. Regardless of Jack Barth and Richard Curtis’ extremely flawed script, the casting decision was evidence that Indians can helm presumably Caucasian-dominated roles while ethnicity can be a secondary factor.

Simultaneously, the silver screen was where I felt that my people could be imperfect and get into trouble with no real consequences. “Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle” isn’t by any means the pinnacle cinema. However, white writers Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg did something right in 2004: Kumar, the Indian protagonist, is a slacker who rebels against his parents’ wishes that he become a doctor. Although Kumar isn’t the greatest role model, he showed me that I didn’t have to be the smartest or most well-mannered character in the room. The Indian identity improved in the next decade because of actors/writers/ comedians like Aziz Ansari. No longer were Indian stereotypes used as currency for validation in entertainment. Instead, his standup riffed on situations that applied to the masses. Ansari, including Lena Waithe, went as far as winning an Emmy for Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series for his arthouse television series “Master of None” in 2017. From here, we took control of the narrative in a way that brought grace and style to our lives, especially in the show’s second season. His character didn’t live and die by him being Indian.

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“ Our time of restitution is coming at a snail’s pace, so what will I do? I’ll write my own films.”

Once called the next Spielberg by Newsweek in the early 2000s, M. Night Shyamalan is one of America’s most recognizable Indian filmmakers. Today, he has been nearly ostracized in the movie discussion for a string of films released after his film “Signs,” a film about aliens attempting to communicate with a farmer through crop circles. The quality of his pictures began deteriorating. The films were new stories, but they lacked the execution and conviction in characters of his earlier works. With a box office gross of $3.3 billion across nearly 20 projects, Shyamalan is one of the few notable Indian directors in Hollywood who is at least attempting to reinvent how we tell supernatural stories without resorting to Oscar-bait biopics or capitalizing on the massive Bollywood market. The way his career was criticized by fans and actual film critics should be taken into consideration because can we name five Indian directors who followed Shyamalan’s major debut in 1999? Indian culture is so rich that it needs its own Hollywood. In 2016, Bollywood contributed $4.5 billion to India’s GDP, according to International Business Times. Yet I’m thinking about the Indian in America; the Indian abusing drugs; the Indian artist; the Indian listening to The Ramones; and the Indian who identifies with the LGBTQIA community. There comes a time when our ethnicity doesn’t need to be the epicenter of our stories. Our time of restitution is coming at a snail’s pace, so what will I do? I’ll write my own films.

FEATURES · REPORT CARD

REPORT CARD: INDOOR PLANT CARE STORY BY JACLYN LIM ILLUSTRATIONS BY MIJIN KIM

A+

SANSEVIERIA (SNAKE PLANT)

POTHOS

The snake plant, also known as the Sansevieria, is hands down the easiest plant to care for. It needs little attention and can adapt to any weather or environment. The Sansevieria also can survive in any kind of light and does not require a lot of water. You’ll be surprised to see that some can even survive a whole month without water! Not to mention, the Sansevieria are also fast growers and come in different varieties. They have cute names for each type of Sansevieria, such as Starfish, Samurai, Cylindrica, Whalefin and more. It is definitely one for beginner plant parents.

Coming in next is the Pothos. Pothos are known for the aesthetics they bring to indoor plant decorating. With their vines that grow all the way around your space or even upward, they are true beauties. They give obvious signs when it’s time to water them: they have droopy leaves or feel lightweight when you pick them up. Pothos are also very forgiving and are great for learning the fundamentals of basic plant care, as well as basic propagation. They are easy to propagate and thrive in any light condition. However, when given the perfect amount of light, Pothos can grow quicker and more abundantly.

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PILEA PEPEROMIOIDES (CHINESE MONEY PLANT)

B-

MONSTERA DELICIOSA

CALATHEA (PRAYER PLANT)

Pilea Peperomioides, also known as the Chinese money plant, is known for its beautiful leaves that look similar to lily pads. Pileas can also easily be propagated; however, they requires a little more care than a Pothos does. Since the leaves often shoot toward the direction of the sun, they require regular rotation in order to achieve even growth all around. They do best with bright indirect light because when the plant is in contact with direct sunlight, the leaves can get sunburned. Other than that, it is better to water the Pileas with filtered or distilled water since tap water has chemicals that can cause browning and white spots to appear on their leaves. A good tip is to leave a good amount of tap water out for 24 hours to get rid of the chemicals and use it to water your Pilea.

Best known for its tropical vibe and its famous split leaves, the Monstera Deliciosa is a beauty to have in your home but requires a little more care and attention. You can easily find them in most nurseries but the prices of the Monstera have increased ever since the plant became popular. Like the Pilea, they do best with bright indirect light and can get sunburned if they get direct sunlight. They only need to be watered once the soil is fully dry because over-watering a Monstera will lead to root rot. Its leaves tend to collect dust, so regularly wiping down their leaves is essential to keeping them clean. Since the price of these plants has gone up quite a bit, it would be best to get a cutting to propagate rather than buying one.

Coming in last is the Calathea, also known as the prayer plant. This is one that requires a whole lot of love and attention. The Calathea can be very fussy at times and without the appropriate care, their leaves often go brown. The Calathea is known itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s their beautiful and unique foliage that folds up into itself during the night and falls back down during the day. The light that it requires ranges from medium to lowlight depending on the personality of your Calathea. Just like the Pilea, they need filtered or distilled water, or tap water thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been left out for 24 hours. Calatheas do prefer being in a humid condition; therefore, misting it or having a humidifier around will keep it thriving.

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