Farewell Interview with Mr. Doar - page 4
Final Issue of the 2015-2016 School Year
The Diller Street Journal May 2016
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Live & Serve at North Shore Class of 2019 Service Learning Project
America’s Biggest Lie
Owen Hiland ’18
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could almost hear the collective sigh of relief emanate from every true Star Wars fan the moment the verdict came in, that J. J. Abrams’ new chapter in the Star Wars saga was, at the very least, good. Walking into the theater, many fans may have had a distinct bad feeling about the coming film, but that feeling was found to be misguided. Through no small effort, Abrams et al. have managed to create a movie that not only continues the base trilogy of Star Wars but expands it and opens it up to what is sure to be an incredible future. The “goodness” of this movie is not being called into question, especially considering the trying times that were the prequels. Truly, there’s nothing that can be said about “The Force Awakens” that can’t be read from 50 articles online, and reviewing it has no real point, since there’s almost unanimous approval among old and new viewers of the series alike. So why retread old ground? It was good; now let’s wait for Episode VIII. But really, the fact that we’ve had to wait dozens of years for a true Star Wars movie to come out is absurd. Even more continued on page 2
Doppler Radar: Brad O’Connor ’18 or as long as human beings have been around, the common myth has plagued society. People have bought into things they believe are fact when in reality are nothing but fake. Conspiracies such as the “Illuminati” or the “New World Order” have caused some discussion, but no conspiracy has shaken the groundwork of society more than that of a North Shore Country Day School freshman in 2013. This man decided to question the very groundwork upon which weather reporting and meteorology were founded. His claim? That the so-called “Doppler Radar” doesn’t exist. Shocking, to say the least. As I was digging through some old DSJ articles, I came across this claim and decided to research even further. At first I thought, “This is just a conspiracy. There’s no way our meteorologists would lie to us about the weather and the way they are forecasting it!” I was just about to give up on my research when I came across the man himself, Cooper Ochsenhirt ’16. I had just
F Betsey Freiburger ’19 n Tuesday, April 19, 54 freshmen set out on the Service Learning Project’s 5th Annual Walk for Compassion. Leaving North Shore Country Day School at 8:45 a.m., the group, led by Mr. Dachille, headed to the southbound Metra train station and rode it to the Davis Street stop in Evanston. Once having disembarked, students began the fivemile walk back to school. Most students laughed and chatted, while taking in the meaning of the walk, which is designed to raise money and awareness for the various global issues which students have studied since February. The walkers stopped for a quick tour of the Bahá’í Temple, allowing Mr. Dachille another chance to introduce a form of international religion to the 9th graders. Most students
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had never entered the temple before, despite driving past it numerous times a week. The group was awed at the detail of the design and were interested to know that it was the first Bahá’í Temple built in the world. Endeavoring to link learning with need, the class continued on for the final push toward North Shore. After completing the walk, the 9th graders finished out the Service Learning Project with their individual and group presentations, which highlighted the diverse group of global problems the class took on. These included child prostitution, malnutrition, global warming, biological weapons and many more. Through individual and group presentations, detailed continued on page 2
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Continuations
Owenslice: Star Wars Owen Hiland ’18 absurd, though, is the fact that this new movie is better than the three that interrupted the rightful Star Wars saga! I know that in looking back, it’s easy to disparage the prequels. Yes, they were new territory at the time, and yes, Lucas did his best to have them explain the backstories of the Empire, Jedi and main characters of the original trilogy. But honestly, Abrams did better on his first try at a Star Wars movie than Lucas did on his fourth, and he did it with two original and groundbreaking characters (Finn and Rey) and an amazing sense of respect for the original trilogy. Sure, you could argue that Jar-Jar constitutes an original character, but then you’d get a blaster to the face, and, like Han, I always shoot first. Really, though, how is it possible that Abrams understands Star Wars better than Lucas himself? After all, that’s what it boils down to. While Lucas made a mockery of his two incredible films and one pretty good one, Abrams continued the true saga in a more than adequate way, payed homage to dozens of classic Star Wars moments and
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did it with a combination of rich emotion and pure fun that no prequel scum could even think to rival. Perhaps Abrams was once the learner, but it now seems that he is the master. Honestly, I didn’t know where I was going with this article. Did I want to express my excitement about the upcoming Star Wars films and spin-offs? Yes. Did I want to spread the joyous news that Abrams is actually a capable director and doesn’t deserve to be thrown into the Sarlacc pit? Most definitely. Do I maybe have some unresolved Jar-Jar-related anger issues? Probably, and I’m doing my best to work through them. The point is, Star Wars is so much more than a set of great movies. It’s a history, one that must be both entertaining and profound, and the spirit of which must be preserved. Overall, Abrams did better than was needed to restore my faith in the franchise, and I’m greatly relieved that he achieved this lofty goal. Now, I have just one message to Abrams, Disney and all future Star Wars writers, directors and actors who may be reading this: “Great job, kid. Don’t get cocky.”
Doppler Radar Brad O’Connor ’18
recently read his critically-acclaimed article and decided to ask him what his thoughts were on the “Doppler Radar.” His argument was short and concise: “How could the Doppler Radar exist if no one can see it?” Ochsenhirt proclaimed. We chatted a bit, and the more we talked, the more I believed him. What are we thinking as a society? How could we put so much trust in something we can’t even see? After our chat I did some more research, and to my surprise, no one has seen a “Doppler Radar.” The thing just doesn’t exist! After finding no evidence that these radars exist, I have come to one conclusion. The Doppler Radar is just a social construct that meteorologists have put forth to fool the public into thinking that they can pre-
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dict the weather. In fact, believing in this myth is dangerous. Let’s say you’re enjoying a nice warm fun family picnic when you see some questionable clouds. You decide to check the weather and the “Doppler Radar” says that there is some rain heading your way. You stop what you’re doing, pack up and go inside. You wait and wait but no rain comes. Why, you might ask? Because you have put yourself in the mindset that this phony device created by big shot meteorologists is real. If everyone is buying into this sham, then the meteorologists have already won. Your mind is already corrupted. If anything, let this be a wake-up call. Don’t believe everything you hear, especially if it says scattered thunderstorms.
Class of 2019: Live and Serve Betsey Freiburger ’19 papers and the Walk of Compassion, the class of 2019 applied their academic skills to work toward raising awareness of and solving real world problems. They took on the problems of sickness, hunger and abuse and were challenged to come up with attainable solutions and support for existing organizations. As Sen. John Glenn said, “Service learning is education in action.” Action is exactly what the class of 2019 accomplished during the Walk for Compassion – action to make a change through fundraising for
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every step taken. The students truly embodied the school’s motto to “Live and Serve,” and many students have changed their attitudes for life, knowing now that to be a fully engaged young adult, you must make a genuine commitment to help the needs of those less fortunate. Freedom, education and prosperity are rare commodities in a world full of suffering. Giving back and finding solutions have to be parts of your life, for a life worth living is one of accountability to those who have less.
reedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. –Martin Luther King, Jr.
News
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Clubs on Campus
The Diller Street Journal: Tech Club Calling All Writers
Owen Hiland ’18 s we end this current school year and prepare for a nice long break before the next one, the staff of the DSJ would like to thank our incredible senior editors for all the work they have done. We would like to wish Anand Shankar, Cooper Ochsenhirt and Antonia Theodosakis all the best at their new homes next fall! We hope they bring their immense talents to where ever life may take them. We are also excited for a new year of writing for the DSJ and informing North Shore about the things that matter most.
One change we are looking to implement next year is more frequent and consistent issue releases, meaning that we are looking to release more articles at regular intervals. We are also looking for more feedback from the student body: What does North Shore want to read about? Let us make the DSJ more interesting to you! The DSJ is looking for more talent, so let us know if you’re interested in participating. We’re looking for more rising sophomores to take the place of current associate editors, so if you think you’ve got what it takes, contact an editor.
Cara Savin ’18 he Community Service Club truly highlights our motto: Live and Serve. Through bake sales, the food drive packing parties, a great connection with the soup kitchen Hilda’s Place and simply writing Valentine’s Day cards to Lower Schoolers, the Community Service Club embodies serving the area around our school and having fun doing so. Hilda’s Place serves many hungry mouths, but it is also temporary housing for approximately 20 single participants, who are aided in finding permanent housing. With the partnership between our school and Hilda’s Place, we as students are able
to reach out to those who are less fortunate than ourselves and bond with classmates at the same time. As North Shore students, we are able to participate in cooking and engaging with the individuals who are in transition in their lives and staying at Hilda’s Place. Many students have gone with their school classes and have enjoyed themselves. If you are at all interested in attending Hilda’s Place, ask a teacher sponsor to help you, because it is truly a rewarding experience. A nice note with words of encouragement can change a person’s day from average to happy. By writing cards on special holidays to our friends in the Lower School, the Community Service Club is creating a JK-12 bond and brightening their days. While this may not be as time-committing as volunteering at Hilda’s Place, it continues to help those around us, therefore allowing everyone who participates to “Live and Serve.” North Shore students are living, serving and loving it.
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Community Service Club
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Will O’Connor ’18 s usual, the tech industry has been exploding with new gadgets and new apps to go along with them. This begs the question, who really cares? The answer is North Shore Tech Club. Co-founders Will O’Connor ’18, Brad O’Connor ’18, Tommy McHugh ’17, Andrew Conlon ’17 and Owen Hiland ’18 have been holding relatively frequent meetings with their enthusiastic members to discuss a plethora of topics. For instance, McHugh has been spearheading a Tech Club-backed project to create one of the first apps made on North Shore campus. “We’re really excited about the app, but I can’t say much more than that because it’s super secret!” says McHugh. Although the coding-savvy members of the group (Conlon, McHugh, Hiland) have been doing the majority of the behind-thescenes work, it is the sheer enthusiasm of the rest of the group that makes them so productive. Thanks to the generosity of Mrs. McHugh, the group is able to hold meetings that allow them to truly meld together as individuals under a common passion. “We’re like a wolf pack; if you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us,” O’Connor says. Among other exciting plans that the group has in store for the coming months is one plan that the group is particularly excited about. The new season of the HBO series “Silicon Valley” premiered on April 24, and the group decided to hold screenings of the show free of charge, periodically. Again, this is just one of the many exciting plans Tech Club has been preparing for the North Shore community. “We understand that people aren’t always available, but we really want to give everybody a chance to come to our awesome meetings and learn a little bit about the tech world!” says Aidan Zavala ’19 who regularly participates in meetings. Look out for announcements from Tech Club about how you can get involved!
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Sports
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Pace and Epstein:
An Essay on Two Chicago Coaches
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ith the NFL draft on April 28, Chicago Bears General Manager Ryan Pace is busy signing free agents and formulating a draft plan. It’s fair to say that the Bears are entering year two of their rebuilding phase and seem to be headed in the right direction under Ryan Pace. Additionally, there is a lot of excitement around the city of Chicago as the Cubs are entering a season in which they’ll contend for the World Series. The Chicago Cubs, led by President of Baseball Operations Theo Epstein, seem to be a model the Bears are trying to follow. Epstein and Pace have many similarities, and this should give some hope to the Bears’ faithful that the team is on the right track to contend for a Super Bowl within the next five years. In 2002, Epstein was hired as the GM of the Boston Red Sox. In 2004, under Epstein’s leadership, the Red Sox claimed its first World Series victory in 86 years. He made the team a perennial contender throughout the MLB for seasons to come and was rewarded when the Red Sox won another World Series in 2007. Fast forward a couple years to November 2011, as Epstein steps down from his role of Executive Vice President and GM of the Boston Red Sox. That same year, he joined the Chicago Cubs to try to break the curse of the billy goat. In his opening press conference in 2011, Epstein discussed his goals and guidelines for the Cubs for the present and future. On the topic of free agency, Epstein stated, “The key is to pay for future performance, not past performance.” Epstein is
William Karmin ’19 saying that using free agency to 42-year Super Bowl drought help a team cannot be focused for the organization. Of the only on short-term success but many different roles Pace long-term success as well. played while working for the Epstein then discussed a Saints, Director of Professional process of how the Cubs plan Scouting and Director of Player on winning a World Series. In Personnel were two key posihis statement during the press tions that helped him lead the conference, he had more to say Saints to a Super Bowl. about his plans for his tenure Pace was rewarded for his as the GM of the Cubs: “Over efforts, and in 2015, he was time we will build a consistent named the youngest GM in the winner that is playing baseball NFL when signed by the Bears. in October regularly and that During Pace’s opening press will ultimately win the World conference, he said he was putSeries, but that does not hap- ting a “progressive plan into pen overnight, and it certainly place.” He also highlighted that does not happen because of one the relationship between him person. Over time and together and the head coach is the “most we will build a solid foundation important relationship in the that delivers sustained success building,” adding that to win a for the Cubs.” Later on in the Super Bowl, you need to “build press conference, Epstein dis- through the draft.” In addition, cussed his desire to jumpstart he said, “Acquiring players the organization by having through free agency so you can players on the roster who care draft the best player available about winning first and players in the draft is important.” And who aren’t distractions in the finally, Pace said, “There will clubhouse. Epstein also stated be a major emphasis on charthat he wants to have a fresh acter, toughness, instincts and and winning environment in- intelligence.” Pace has shown side the clubhouse. that a healthy locker room is Just last season, he hired Joe necessary when he traded trouMaddon to be the Cubs man- blemaker Brandon Marshall for ager. Maddon is a savvy vet- a fifth round pick. Pace also eran manager who has a lot of believes in a youthful locker post-season experience with the room. He made the point when Tampa Bay Rays. Epstein was he let Lance Briggs, Charles praised by the media for mak- Tillman and Matt Forte all walk ing such a great hire who can during free agency. Pace is a help develop the young players young GM who is leading the in the Cubs organization. Ep- Bears to rebuild with John Fox stein laid the groundwork for by his side. the Cubs to become a powerWhile Theo Epstein and house in the MLB for years to Ryan Pace are in completely come because, as he put it, this different sports industries, they “paid for future success.” have a ton of similarities. Both Turning back to the Bears, are young, savvy front office Pace worked for the New Or- executives who embrace the leans Saints’ front office for 14 challenges of turning an orgayears, and in 2009, helped for- nization around. Pace hired a mulate a roster that ended the veteran head coach in John Fox
with post-season experience, while Epstein took the same approach with the Cubs and is now entering his fifth season as a World Series favorite. Pace and Epstein both previously helped end World Championship droughts by playing significant roles in their respective front offices. In addition, they are two of the youngest GMs in their sports. Pace is making the Bears a very youthful team that should become a Super Bowl contender within the next five years. If he can make this happen, he would be able to pull off the same feat as Epstein. He is making a locker room that is full of vibrant characters similar to how Epstein has handled the Cubs. Through the draft, Epstein improved the team with picks like Clay Buchholz, Jacoby Ellsbury and Dustin Pedroia. These moves led to a couple of championships for Boston. Hopefully the Bears can experience the same success with picks like Adrian Amos, Jeremy Langford and Kevin White. They both believe in signing free agents that can enable the team to take the best player in the draft so the team doesn’t need to draft based on need. For Boston and Chicago with Epstein, this involved Jon Lester, Jason Heyward, Ben Zobrist, David Ortiz and Adrian Gonzalez. Pace signed players such as Pernell McPhee, Danny Trevathan, Bobby Massie and Jerrell Freeman. The Bears’ front man still has one hell of a mountain to climb, but if he continues his current “pace” and keeps following the Epstein model, I’d put my money on seeing the Bears face off in Super Bowl LIII.
Opinion
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Journalism In An Election Cycle: An Essay on Bad Journalism
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n April 1, 2016, current presidential candidate Sen. Bernie Sanders sat down with the New York Daily News editorial board for an interview. This interview has now become infamous and is being used by the Clinton campaign as a sign that Bernie Sanders has “no policy substance” which is an absolutely outrageous claim. I look at the whole incident, both the interview and the aftermath of the interview, as a perfect example of bad journalism. It’s no secret that Hillary Clinton is the established candidate for the Democratic party. She is the one the political establishment and Wall Street want to see in the Oval Office. But perhaps more importantly, she practically owns the mainstream media. In recent years the press has fallen prey to the demons of political and establishment bias. One of the more recent and unfortunate examples has been CNN, a once well-respected news organization, that has now become a joke. Now the question is: what does this have to do with Bernie Sanders? Well, Sen. Sanders has been gaining a lot of momentum over these last few months. Originally seen as the socialist who had no chance, he is now giving Secretary Clinton a run for her money. The Clinton campaign also made the mistake of writing him off after his losses in the March 1 primaries, believing that he no longer had any momentum and that he would drop out. They were dead wrong. Bernie has been doing significantly better than anyone ever expected. Despite being hit with constant attacks from the establishment, he has always managed to bounce back with impressive force. So now the Clinton campaign is doing whatever it can to stop his momentum. This brings us to the New York Daily News. Just a few days ago, the editorial board endorsed Hillary Clinton for president and has also been showing an obvious anti-Bernie bias. Sen. Sanders’ interview with the editorial board drew a lot of criticism from the mainstream media and the Clinton campaign. The New York Daily News editorial board themselves state that “subjected to meaningful scrutiny for the first time, the senator from Vermont proved utterly unprepared for the Oval Office.” Hillary herself has used the interview in attack ads, and the mainstream media has been peddling a narrative that Bernie is finished. So we will look at the sections that
Robbie Bay ’17 Sen. Sanders has come under fire for, and see if the criticisms are deserved. You can find a transcript of this interview with a quick Google search, but the main points of interest concern Sanders’ method for breaking up the banks and his views on lawsuits against gun manufacturers. These parts of the interview were the biggest points of controversy, and the media distorted Sanders’ answers as part of an effort to strengthen the campaign of Hillary Clinton. Because of this interview, the media has developed a ridiculous narrative that Sanders has no idea how he plans to break up the banks on Wall Street. However, when looking at the interview itself, I see no indication of this. He very clearly explains that it can be done through new legislation, or through the treasury under the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act. People often point to him saying that he was unsure about whether or not the Federal Reserve had the power to do this as an indication that he does not know what he is talking about. The reality is, Sanders did not mention the Fed. The question about the Fed’s power came frankly out of nowhere as an attempt at a “gotcha” moment. If you look at the substance of the whole interview, Sanders talks about Dodd-Frank, and he talks about fraud, providing clear and accurate examples and evidence to support his points. It’s clear that this is a topic that he understands very well. The second point of interest is Sanders’ claim that one should not be able to sue a gun manufacturer for selling a weapon to a murderer. Clinton has used this to drive the narrative that Sanders “doesn’t care about the families of the victims of Sandy Hook.” This is not even close to the truth. In the actual interview, despite the interviewer attempting to move on to the next question before Sanders could explain his perspective, he made it very clear that there should be strict background checks, a ban on assault weapons and at times a basis for a lawsuit against gun manufacturers under certain circumstances. But simply selling a legal weapon to someone should not be a basis for a lawsuit in his eyes. You can have any opinion you want in this issue, but there is no denying that what I just explained is vastly different than the narrative of the Clinton campaign and it shows how desper-
ate she and the media are to attack Bernie in any way possible. The New York Daily News is a crappy tabloid newspaper which has ridiculous sensationalized headlines and are not subtle about their biases. Therefore, this interview should not be a big deal. The main issue is that the mainstream media is in such shambles that they are willing to distort a terrible interview that was already weighed against Sanders. They have jumped on every possible opportunity to say something to show voters that he “doesn’t know what he is talking about.” They are acting like not knowing which exact statute could be used to prosecute Wall Street banks is a sure sign that he has no way to do it, despite the fact that the actions of Wall Street are clearly fraudulent. The saddest part about all of this is that they are jumping all over evidence that simply is not there regarding Sanders’ lack of policy substance or even lack of morals according to Clinton’s recent attacks, while they completely overlook the utter shadiness of the Clinton campaign, including the clear violations of many campaign laws. Not only that, but MSNBC in particular has been going surprisingly easy on Donald Trump. The agenda among the media is so clear. Even CNN, which was once the best news organization in the U.S, is now just a shell of its former self, working for the Democratic establishment. On their website, you will find numerous “news articles” that are really just opinion articles about why you should not vote for Bernie Sanders but should vote for Hillary Clinton or even Donald Trump. Journalism has fallen a long way in recent years. News outlets are not concerned with informing the public as much as they are with pushing an agenda and getting clicks or views. This can perhaps be attributed to the fact that the old media is clearly dying, but regardless, it is clear that major news outlets are no longer capable of actually doing their jobs. That’s why I say “make way for the new media!” These independent personalities on the internet may be all that is left soon, as many are already gaining traction. These people have biases, no doubt, but they are supported by facts and statistics and good thorough analyses. This is what the old media used to be, and this is what the world needs.
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Features
Take 10! Festival
Joy Pasin ’18 ecently, North Shore Country Day School’s Upper School hosted the Take 10! Ten-Minute play festival. As usual, our wonderful teacher and director Ms. Macholl helped produce these performances. However, what’s different about the Ten-Minute plays is that they are written and directed by the students of Ms. Macholl’s advanced theater class. For this interview I talked to student director Sarah Niemann ’18 who wrote “Alien Invasion” for this year’s set of shows.
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DSJ: As a director, how did you feel the process of the 10-Minute plays as a whole went this year? SN: It was one of the best years the 10-Minute plays have seen. We have the most directors ever, and the most people come out and auditioned. Also, every cast member was really talented. DSJ: Walk us through your creative process and your play. What was your inspiration? SN: I wanted to write a comedy, something really silly. So I went ahead and thought of the craziest idea I could: aliens capturing the president. From there I added in some corny dialogue, and bam, I had a show. DSJ: Which play (besides your own) was your favorite and why? SN: I really loved Richard Santi ’17 and Robbie Bay’s ’17 play. The surprise ending was something I thought was super clever. DSJ: What would you have liked to change about this process? SN: I wouldn’t change much, but if I could I would write a drama, because I want to push myself out of my comfort zone a little more.
Read It Before You See It! Elle Ogbulamani ’18
Four books to read before they hit the big screen: “Me Before You” by Jojo Moyes
JoJo Moyes’ heartbreaking best-seller about a working-class woman who takes a job caring for a quadriplegic high-powered banker is scheduled to hit theaters this June with Emilia Clark (“Terminator Genisys,” “Dom Hemingway”) and Sam Claflin (“Snow White and the Huntsman”).
“A Light Between Oceans” by M. L. Stedman
Michael Fassbender (“Prometheus”) and Alicia Vikander (Academy Award Winner, “The Danish Girl”) star in the film adaption of M. L. Stedman’s novel about a couple who find a baby and a dead body in a rowboat in post-World War I Australia.
“The Girl on the Train” by Paula Hawkins
Emily Blunt (“Into The Woods,” “The Huntsman: Winter’s War”) stars as Rachel in the movie adaptation of Paula Hawkins’ best-selling 2015 thriller about a divorced alcoholic who becomes obsessed with a couple she spies out the window on her morning commute and believes she knows something about a crime involving the couple.
“Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk” by Ben Fountain
Ben Fountain’s best-selling novel about 19-year-old Billy Lynn who survives the Iraq War is directed by Ang Lee (“The Incredible Hulk”) and stars newcomer Joe Alwyn, along with a heavy cast, including Kristen Stewart (“Twilight”) and Vin Diesel.
Five Fun Facts: Mr. Doar DSJ: What is your favorite location at school? TD: The front steps. DSJ: What is your favorite cafeteria meal? TD: Chicken Pesto Pasta (both the new version and the old version). DSJ: If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go? TD: Ireland DSJ: Do you prefer cats or dogs? TD: Dogs. DSJ: If you were at seven eleven and had five dollars, what would you buy? TD: Snapple Ice Tea and Potato Chips. Thank you Mr. Doar for all your contributions to North Shore! You will be missed!
Features
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Farewell, Mr. Doar!
Cara Savin ’18 DSJ: What is your favorite memory with each of your children at North Shore? TD: Although I may not have a particular memory, I often think about how each one of them functioned while at school. My oldest son, Tom, would ignore me, but appreciated the ability to borrow money whenever needed. Also, I have a key to the school, so he was able to run into school for forgotten homework if need be. My second son, Charlie, always seemed to know where I was. It was as if he had a radar. When he was in the lower school it was almost as if my presence gave him a sense of security. He would say things to me like, “what was that lady in the red dress doing in your office?” Our daughter Mullery was in between Tom and Charlie, she was more comfortable interacting with me at school, but also liked the fact she had access to the gym and/or school if she forgot something.
DSJ: What is your favorite faculty memory over your years at North Shore? TD: While I do not have a favorite faculty memory, I always appreciate reminiscing with the incredible teachers at school. The teachers are so invested in their students and give the best guidance to parents. These faculty members are very trustworthy. So, I love the memories of teachers who taught with great confidence and had wonderful connections with the students. DSJ: What is your most memorable Morning Ex? TD: I have a number of most memorable morning ex programs. The morning ex we had this year when the science department kids shared their advanced open research projects was incredibly memorable. When Brent flew the drone in the auditorium, I thought to myself, this is the type of morning ex that is great for this school. It interested the Kindergarteners all the way through the faculty members and the student scientists were the center of the program. DSJ: What is your favorite aspect of North Shore? TD: I think the aspects I enjoy most are that it is a small school and everybody knows everybody. I appreciate that students are known as who they are instead of what they do. People at school know each other for their personal qualities instead of knowing you like to play sports or participate in plays. DSJ: What is your favorite school ritual? TD: I really like graduation because it is intimate, about the children, and is a compelling event. Graduation is all about the students and their accomplishments. I enjoy the student and faculty speakers, as well as those who perform. DSJ: What are you going to do with all of your free time? TD: Although I am not quite sure, I do look forward to working out more, eating a little healthier, and visiting with my three grandchildren. It will be tricky because I love coming to work, so I have yet to figure that out.
ASK KEITH What’s the best kind of peanut butter? Why? As a man of many talents and interests, I have tried dozens of types of peanut butters in my long and illustrious career as a DSJ employee. The greatest I have tasted was given to me by a monk atop the tallest mountain in the Manchurian Region of China. It was given to me as a reward for completing my training as a Sparrow of Mingh, one of the elite soldiers of the Army of Seven. The butter itself was made from peanuts grown in the body of a dragon from many centuries ago, watered with rain gathered from deep within the Cave of Dreams. The peanuts themselves are so magically powerful that one could kill a mortal
man, but, luckily, I am no mortal. Tasted great with raspberry jam, 4 out of 5 stars because it was a little sticky. What kind of shoes do you wear? Cleats. All day. Best way to get traction in this slippery world. What’s the best way to get rats out of a locker? Asking for a friend. Put a beaver in the locker. If the beaver is hungry enough, it will eat all the rats. Once the beaver has eaten the rats, you might want to send in a larger predator to take care of the beaver. I suggest a large Amazonian snake; if you have trouble taming it, remember that snakes are afraid of fire.
I’ve been hearing hissing coming from the school pipes. Is that normal? It’s probably not snakes. Carry around matches just to be safe, keeping in mind that snakes are afraid of fire.
waffles can be banded together to make a raft. It really depends on my future plans for river crossings.
Favorite App? Tandem. It’s like Tinder, but for people who want to ride bikes together.
Every week, Keith will be answering YOUR QUESTIONS about sports, dance music, fruit and various other topics. If you would like to submit a question, please write it in liquid gold on paper made from the finest leather and send it to King’s Landing on your fastest raven. Alternately, you can email an editor.
What’s Kanye’s best album? I’ve actually never heard any music by Kanye. Waffles or Pancakes? Pancakes are useful because they can be used as impromptu frisbees, but
Where is the gold buried? Nice try.
Staff Editor-in-Chief Connor Watrous ’17 Executive Editor Cara Savin ’18 Managing Editors Brad O’Connor ’18 Will O’Connor ’18 Owen Hiland ’18 Staff Writers Robbie Bay ’17 Joy Pasin ’18 Elle Ogbulamani ’19 Betsey Freiburger ’19 William Karmin ’19