Bristol Magazine (Weekly) 17th - 24th June 2021

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Gabriella, local therapist, says: ‘Write down your feelings, explain in deep details what you feel. If that friend is a good friend, they will be open to discuss and share the other side of the story. If not, you are saving yourself from an energy vampire.’ Remember the four rules of confrontation

She says: ‘See how your friend responds to your concerns. If their emotions are heightened and they respond angrily or defensively, it may be that they need time and space to resolve whatever issues they have. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the friendship is over, but you do need to give them that opportunity to deal with their problems alone, if that’s what they wish.

If you’re feeling nervous about the conversation, then use theses four different ‘Alternatively, if they admit the friendship things to remember when dealing with conflict needs work and are willing to talk things or confrontation: through, you have a great basis of honesty on which to go on and continue to build a Calmness – don’t shout or rant. long-lasting friendship.’ Listen and give eye contact.

Think about their character

Explain your feelings and why you feel hurt.

We all behave badly sometimes and often this can come when we aren’t feeling good about ourselves.

Give specific examples of how they have treated you and the feelings. This rule-of four is a good guideline to follow when having any difficult chat. Try not to be aggressive Confronting someone about their actions doesn’t need to be aggressive.

So it’s important to consider that a friend might have let us down because they are having a difficult time themselves. Rather than go in all guns blazing, try to find out whether your friend is going through a tough time – which might explain their behaviour.

Dr Becky Spelman adds: ‘Start off the conversation gently by asking them how they’ve been lately and whether anything has been troubling them. This gives your friend A local Life coach wrote: ‘When you approach an opportunity to explain, so you can see if the situation, try not to be confrontational. they’re aware of how they’ve been behaving and whether or not there’s anything behind it. ‘A lot of this depends on how much you value the relationship. If you have been friends ‘Listen carefully to what they have to say and for years, then it is worth recovering it and offer your support if there is a problem in your clearing the air. If it is someone that you don’t friend’s life. know that well, then it may be a random thing that they do sometimes.’ ‘Once they’ve got it off their chest, you can then bring up your concern about the Whatever the situation, if you remain calm friendship. and collected, it’ll be much easier to have a more open and honest chat. ‘Emphasise that you’re only bringing it up because you are concerned about your friend, Don’t forget to listen care about the relationship and want to be there for them.’ Dr Becky Spelman, a local psychologist and clinical director of therapy Clinic, added that once you’ve got your problems off your chest, it’s vital to take a break from speaking and to simply listen. If it is, it can make the person on the receiving end extra defensive.

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