She Explosion Magazine - 2017 by Tyelle Render

EXPLOSION C RC L O N D ON WOM E N â&#x20AC;&#x2122; S CONFERENC E 2017

02 CRC WOMENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CONFERENCE 2017

INTRODUCTION 04 SHE VISION

SPECIAL GUESTS

WORD FROM PS THABO

BUILDING ONE CHURCH

#SHE RELATIONSHIPS

#SHE NURTURES

#SHE MERCHANDISE

#SHE PROSPERS

#SHE CAMPAIGNS

#SHE IS FREE

#SHE SERVES

#SHE IS EMPOWERED

#SHE BELIEVES

#SHE IS LOVELY

102

#SHE YOUTH

114

CREDITS 139

#SHE EXPLOSION 03

04 CRC WOMENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CONFERENCE 2017

THANK YOU

for being here today

eautiful #SHE Woman, have you HOW PRECIOUS YOU ARE TO HIM! ever wondered about fate? Some call it coincidence and others Today, I FULLY believe you will leave changed destiny. Well, if you’re reading this for eternity. This day was ordained in your at our conference, you find yourself in the life, as a sacred few hours, during which Olympic Park in Stratford, London. A centre God Himself will caress, hold, mould, heal, of achievement, of hopes and dreams and empower, restore, direct, teach, enlighten surely disappointment. Much like life itselfand LOVE you. He will do in you that which sifting and testing the brave and the weak will mobilise and empower you unto “rapid, alike. Whichever way you found yourself sudden, increase” in here today, or reading your life. this #SHE magazine, is WHICHEVER WAY YOU FOUND in itself a miracle and YOURSELF HERE TODAY, OR READING I declare over your oracle by God’s divine THIS #SHE MAGAZINE, IS IN ITSELF life an EXPLOSION keeping upon your A MIRACLE AND ORACLE BY GOD’S of everything He has life! DIVINE KEEPING UPON YOUR LIFE!... for you, in Christ. An

“”

Woman-you are so powerful! You are a weapon in His hand! A fearfully formed, purpose-created vessel, filled with spiritual dynamite to be ignited and supernaturally explode into rapid, sudden, increase releasing much energy! Where we unite and take hands and hearts as girls, beautiful and explosive things are destined to happen. It becomes an unstoppable force. There’s a reason why women all over the world have been oppressed - the enemy knows what power they hold. But do we? There are sisters who don’t have a voice right now. But do we, who have one, use it? Do we stand together in our identity and rise up to fulfill our collective, powerful call in history?

explosion is a rapid, sudden increase releasing much energy: Red - Explosion of Love & Charity! Orange - Explosion of Energy & Drive! Yellow - Explosion of Friendship! Purple - Explosion of Royalty & Identity! Green - Explosion of Life & Peace & Joy! Rose Gold - Explosion Salvation & Things Eternal! I BOLDLY declare that your life will EXPLODE with these things as they are both conceived and restored by the Spirit of God today and onwards, in the Name of Jesus! And as you do, go in JOY and FAITH to BE that explosion of love in your world and church! Much love, Pastor Karen #SHE EXPLOSION 05

#She is the Women’s Conference for CRC International and all women who really want to find and live in their God-given purpose. Our vision is to see godly women of all ages and ethnicity rise up in our churches, our homes, our societies...and part in the end-time prophecy of this era of the church of Jesus. Where women unite, there is a powerful, unseen force that arises and that’s what #She also sets out to do.

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very child of God has an earthly and eternal destiny much greater than the natural mind. We also have specific roles within destinies, such as our femininity. If you have wondered why you were born a woman or dismissed it as a passing fact in life, you are not alone but remember, God was intentional and specific about creating you. #SHE is the ongoing restoration and empowerment of the godly identity and influential role God has given us as women. It is the rising up in and embracing of, togetherness in Christ’s role for us. In unity, #SHE women are a powerful and growing force unseen. We become pillars and pivotal in society through our faith-filled prayers. We show Christ’s love by fully embracing our sisters in Christ and letting them flourish. We sow His love by extending our hands to the needy and through supernatural strategies to touch communities. We war against disunity, comparison and insecurity and we intentionally bring unity to promote and celebrate individual success.

#SHE understands and promotes the vital role of the local church as a spiritual family. We firmly establish godly natural families as a cohesive force in our environments and to create an environment where many generations to come will be IGNITED. #SHE is a growing movement of celebrating God’s crown of creation; women - and understanding what a key role God has for us in becoming a UNITED force against our enemy, Satan. Enmity between us and Satan is a reality God speaks of but so is our collective victory over his plans. As #SHE connects to the Holy Spirit, #SHE will EXPLODE in all five areas of life as we declare it this year: Life, Love, Energy, Friendship, Identity and Eternal Salvation! #SHE has a voice. #SHE has a choice. #SHE has a story. God called you to read this today because #SHE believes that every woman is an influential game changer. THAT MEANS YOU! - Pastor Karen

#SHE EXPLOSION 07

Our Visionary Leader PASTOR NYRETTA BOSHOFF

orn in Harare, Zimbabwe, where she grew up on a game ranch at the age of 10, Pastor Nyretta and her whole family converted to Christianity and together embarked on a joyous journey in faith!

Johannesburg. Pastor Nyretta is also the Executive Producer of CRC’s (house-owned/ in-house) praise and worship music release albums. Married to Pastor At Boshoff and Mum to their three kids, she is an exemplary wife, Mother and homemaker.

Building upon and following the example and precepts she received at home, as well as the experience she gained in ministry and life with her husband, Pastor Nyretta developed a passion for teaching the practicalities of Christian living and does so with exceptional aptitude and success. She pioneers and leads the creative arts ministry and directs the very successful music ministry of the congregations in Bloemfontein, Pretoria and

Apart from her support of her husband’s international and national ministry, Pastor Nyretta frequently speaks at #She and External Women’s conferences both nationally and internationally. Inspiring and leading the CRC women’s ministry, she ministers to the CRC pastors’ wives and organises and coordinates various annual CRC events.

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PS GILLIAN CAMERON PASTOR AND GUEST SPEAKER

illian Cameron is a dynamic minister with an insightful message and a vibrant joy. Her heart to see people discover what God has for them causes her to inspire people to live life to the full. Together with her husband, John, Gillian are the lead pastors of ARISE Church. Because of their deeply rooted belief in the local church, and their relentless passion for inspiring a generation of believers who will fulfil their Godgiven destiny, ARISE has grown from a group of 7 people in a small dance and drama studio to a church of thousands in 6 different locations in New Zealand.

BEN COOLEY CO-FOUNDER OF HOPE FOR JUSTICE & GUEST SPEAKER

en Cooley is a husband, father, follower of Christ and champion of the local church. A man with a clear vision and a burning passion to end slavery. Ben is the CEO and founder of Hope for Justice, an organisation that exists to bring an end to modern slavery by rescuing victims, restoring lives, and reforming society. In his own words: We believe freedom is worth the fight. We believe justice is non-negotiable. We refuse to abandon the least, the last and the lost. We challenge apathy with action. We choose to greet cynicism with hope. We are purposeful, passionate and pioneering. #SHE EXPLOSION 09

SUNDAYS @ 10:30AM

CRC LO

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C H U R C H

SCREEN 11, CINEWORLD @ THE O2, SE10 0DX SCREEN 9, CINEWORLD @ WEMBLEY DESIGNER OUTLET, HA9 0WS SCREEN 7, ODEON @ WIMBLEDON, SW19 1QB 10 CRC WOMENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CONFERENCE 2017

ONDON

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M A N Y

L O C AT I O N S

WWW.CRCLONDON.COM CRCLONDON #SHE EXPLOSION 11

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HELLO, ladies A word from Pastor Thabo Marais, Senior Pastor of CRC London

Ladies, you have power! Coming together #SHE 2017 is here and we are excited to like you have today makes hell tremble. host everyone of you ladies today! I know Studying the scriptures, you find many Karen and the whole team has worked women used by our Heavenly Father to extremely hard to make sure that you are better their worlds, but like all things, you also going to be blessed. It is our prayer that you find examples in the Bible of women used will be impacted throughout the whole day. by Satan to influence We pray that Jesus and change our world will make Himself IT IS OUR PRAYER THAT YOU WILL for his gain. What real to you in a new BE IMPACTED THROUGHOUT THE is the difference? way through the WHOLE DAY... One simple word, Holy Spirit, and that CHOICE; the power you will leave here of their choice. I want feeling inspired to to leave you with three very important facts: go and change your world. The Bible is a book full of great examples of women used ONE: You have to know that God made you by God to change their worlds. There were to be a powerful human being! women right throughout the ages that God used to impact their generation and by that, TWO: It is your choice to be used by Jesus they left their mark on humanity. or not to be used by Him in this life, for His glory. I believe that you are here today because Jesus is ready to use you to do exactly the THREE: You ladies were created to be the same. I know it is our desire, as a global catalysts of life, beauty and salvation in our church movement through our visionaries, world-and that is just to name a few! Pastors At and Nyretta Boshoff, to continue raising up a mighty army of women within I encourage and challenge you not to hold the UK, Europe and across the world who back, but to step out into everything the will be influential, powerful, and ultimately Lord has for you! Be the catalysts of change, world changers! As a church movement, life, hope and salvation in your world! we believe in women and we cheer you on to become everything Jesus has called you Thank you for sharing this day with us! May to be. May today be a new start, a fresh Jesus bless you and use you; and may He beginning for many; or maybe just the day shine His face upon everyone of you here where you start to dream a new dream for today and give you favour wherever you go. your life. May you leave inspired to be the catalyst of change in your world. Much love, Thabo Marais

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#SHE EXPLOSION 13

BUILDING ONE

CHURCH in many locations

loudly (or face discipline). Women are sold off; like a shoe, she can be replaced at any time. They feel rejected and have no self worth and this is even part of the Christian culture. In the midst of this, we try to bring ladies together in one place and give them an opportunity to express themselves at our #She Conference in Pakistan. It is because of this vision and it was a great joy!

PASTOR FOZIA ASHAR Wife of Ps Ashar Nadeem, Senior Pastor of CRC Lahore, Pakistan It is a great honour for me to be part of a vision that is really godly, progressive and powerful. It’s the anointing that flows down from the leadership of the house. #She Conference always gleams my heart and reminds me of what I am in Christ. It is the greatest blessing ever. In Pakistan there is a dominant Islamic culture, where women are the least. In their homes they receive their meals last, have no choice in who they marry, can’t speak out 14 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

I thank God for Pastor Nyretta our visionary leader, supporter and encourager. Thank you for believing in us. There are many heroic women in the Bible like Ruth, Esther, Mary, Lydia and many more, but God is a God of witness - God raise Pastor Nyretta to uplift, encourage and inspire the women around the globe. Thank you Pastor Karen for your support and trust in ministry. Thank you for all your care. Thank God for being part of this vision. Thank you CRC London for such a generous heart for Pakistan. We love you all, thank you Pastor Thabo and Pastor Karen for your leadership. We are committed to the vision “Win the lost at any cost”. Ps Fozia Ashar, CRC Pakistan

attracted to the passion, zealousness and love he has for the house of God. Our visions and hearts desires aligned and we knew that God had brought us together for a bigger purpose. We then got married in 2007 and Geoffrey soon stepped into full time ministry. We’ve reached one decade this year!

MEGGIE DE BRUIN Wife of Ps Geoffrey de Bruin, Senior Pastor of CRC Edinburgh HI SHE-LADIES! I came to the UK from South Africa when I was nineteen with the plan of going back in a couple of years, but God’s plan for my life was very different to what I thought at the time and 13 years later I’m still calling the UK my home. Quite soon after I arrived I got invited to CRC London where my life changed drastically, I became born-again in June 2004 and started serving God. I remember in those first few years of being a believer when anyone asked me what I wanted to do with my life my answer was always that I just wanted to work for God. I had no desire for a career, with my whole heart all I wanted was to work for God. I never knew how this was going to plan out, but as David says in the book of Psalms, a man purposes in his heart, but the Lord directs his steps. While serving in the usher ministry I met my husband. There were many reasons why we were perfect for each other, one of the main ones being that Geoffrey (my husband!) felt a strong call for full time ministry. I was

We had 12 phenomenal years in London, serving under Pastor Thabo and Pastor Karen. In October 2015 God spoke to our leadership and to us about planting CRC Edinburgh to which we packed up in London and entered this new and exciting season of our lives. So here we are, building God’s House in the heart of Scotland, such a honour and privilege. Some day’s when I look back at the last year it feels like we living in a miracle, from starting the church in our living room just over a year ago with only 5 adults to being where we are now is just incredible. God says that He will build His house and the gates of hell will not prevail against it, and God has been and always will be true to His word. Majority of people gave their lives to Jesus in the last year. People are on fire, hungry for God and starting to take responsibility in the Kingdom. The harvest is plentiful and we keep on trusting God to increase and multiply His church. We count ourselves highly blessed to have been called to this nation. Scottish people have a worldwide reputation for warmth and friendliness and it definitely is so. We have a vision to expand CRC in the whole of Scotland and our desire is to reach this nation through preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ and seeing His power manifest in people’s lives. Scotland has a very rich spiritual heritage and the Word God is constantly giving us it to bring Scotland back to its roots! Blessings, Meggie #SHE EXPLOSION 15

In 2014 Pastor At and Pastor Thabo through this great vision sent us to Amsterdam! So the process began to leave our family in London to go to another country. My husband and I started CRC Amsterdam in our house with a family that came with us from CRC London, Bertus and Rolyn van Bergen. God gave us this scripture; Hebrews 11:8 ‘And Abraham went not knowing where he was going.’ Sometimes we find ourselves not knowing but God knows!

LEENTJIE SCHOEMAN Wife of Ps Dreyer Schoeman, Senior Pastor of CRC Amsterdam I have been in this great church and vision called CRC for 15 years now. My husband and I moved to London in 2002 for a business opportunity and within four days someone invited us to a Homecell. We got born-again, baptised and filled with the Holy Spirit and from that moment on everything changed. We knew that this was our church and made the decision to plant ourselves in CRC London where we became more and more involved. We later had the privilege of becoming part of leadership where we were Homecell leaders to so many people! One day during this process my husband said to me he doesn’t know how or when but he knows he was not going to be a veterinary surgeon for much longer. During our time at CRC London it was so awesome to see how God answered every prayer, meet every goal and so much more. We serve an awesome God! And so in my personal prayer time I started to pray the Word of God more and more, declaring it over my life and my family - there is so much life in our words! 16 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

We had our first proper venue by August 2014 and have now recently moved to a bigger venue, the Oosterkerk. I have been helping to establish the Kids Church and also to build our Homecells and structures. Praise God we are part of a vision and we have a mission to win the lost at any cost! We are building one by one and we see how God is adding to us daily more and more people! I personally don’t know how you can grow and follow in your destiny within God’s plan without being planted in a local church. So I want to take this opportunity to thank Pastor At and Pastor Nyretta Boshoff for paving the way and leading us through this great vision. I would also like to thank Pastor Thabo and Karen Marais for their guidance and leadership through every step, as well as the whole of CRC for their giving that made this church plant possible. Thank You! I am very excited to see how God meets our goals and our prayers to be part of expanding the Kingdom of God! I personally have a passion to work with all women and I believe God will use us, a local church in Amsterdam for His Glory! I Love God and I can honestly say if God can use me coming from a very small town in South Africa, God can use you as a Daughter of the Most High God! Go and live life to the full and see how God will use you in a great way! Love to you all beautiful women, Leentjie

In January 2014 we moved to Paris for eight months while “spying out the land” to look for opportunities to expand the vision of CRC in France. We eventually settled in the lovely South in the city of Montpellier. People that know me would probably describe me as a fun loving person with a love for cooking, socialising and of course, makeup trends. Since being in France I have learned how to make my own “boerewors”, biltong, cheese spread, pasta and even condensed milk. Some of these because of curiosity and others out of necessity as you do not get these products in France.

WELRI WEBSTER Wife of Ps Francis Webster, Senior Pastor of CRC Montpellier My journey with God started in Durban, South Africa when I got saved at a church meeting in 2010. This was very special to me as my son and I were baptised together on the same day. About a year later I moved to Cape Town and was introduced to CRC by a friend that invited me to a Homecell where I received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. After I got married to Pastor Francis we moved to Perth Australia where I got involved with the Worship Team as a vocalist. This was an awesome growing experience. I love music and singing but what made it more amazing was the growth I found in myself of learning to truly worship and entering into God’s presence. There is nothing like it! Perth was a huge learning experience and taught me so much about church life and community. The CRC family we had there was so supportive and received me with such warmth and love. Being married to the pastor of a congregation was and is a huge responsibility that has its challenges but also is a massive privilege to serve God’s people in this capacity.

I believe I am more of a prayer warrior, worshipper and encourager. I have found to have a lot of discernment and believe strongly in following the unction of the Holy Spirit. One truth that has driven my life is that God is into specifics and detail. When I was still a member in CRC Cape Town, Pastor Aiden Jeffrey once did a teaching on writing down your vision. After the service I wrote down my vision for a husband and for certain things I was trusting God for. I prayed over those things regularly and revisited what I wrote down and I can honestly say they all came to pass. Writing down vision and being specific is something I believe is vital for any person that has a vision to go forward in life. My favorite scripture is Jeremiah 29:11 ‘For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.’ My life is a testimony of the fact that God can take a nobody and turn them into a somebody for the purposes of His Kingdom! Blessings, Welri

#SHE EXPLOSION 17

#SHE RELATIONSHIPS

Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.

- Proverbs 31:30

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#SHERELATIONSHIPS

- Marriage “Marriage is a beautiful mystery the last of the “creative wonders” in many ways. There are few things as challenging, but satisfying. It’s worth remembering that the “oneness” God intended, will manifest more and more over time as we grow into HIM and, of course, are intentional about WORKING on our relationship. Nothing great ever just “happens”. Marriage is spelt W.O.R.K. This comes in the form of praying and love-in-action. Marriage is super important to Godit’s the very heart of Him showing the love story between Jesus and us, His church. To make marriage flourish God’s way, we need to firstly genuinely SEEK His way. The greatest factor preventing relationships from flourishing, is selfishness. Love is SELFLESSNESS. It’s sacrificial. Never give up, learn to laugh and forgive, grow...there awaits INCREDIBLE blessing!”

- Pastor Karen

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When I got married in 2002, I had no clue what I said yes to with the words “I Do”! The beautiful part of marriage is when God is in your marriage with you and He is the centre - the Bible says no man can separate it! Mark 10:9

enter into marriage and it’s a faith thing. We know that everything works for the good (Romans 8:28), we know in part and we see in part (1 Corinthians 13:9) even in marriage! The very first thing I was thinking to share about marriage was to “LEAVE your mother and father and CLEAVE to your husband” Genesis 2:24 says: “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one”.

The second thing I will emphasise, is to STAY and FIGHT for unity. Ecclesiastes 4:9 “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed”. We need to know God will bless our marriage when we are in UNITY! When we seek God’s Kingdom first and His righteousness all these things will be added to us (Matthew 6:33). We need to pray for our marriage, pray for our husband, humble ourselves before God and in due time He will raise us up. (1 Peter 5:6)

“” I HAD TO LEARN TO LEAVE MY MOTHER AND CLEAVE TO MY HUSBAND. I HAD TO LEARN TO NOT SHARE EVERYTHING WITH MY MOTHER AND SISTERS ANYMORE...

I had to learn to leave my mother and cleave to my husband. I had to learn to not share everything with my mother and sisters anymore. My relationship with my husband had to change. He became my family and my own family was an extension. We moved to London after a year and a half after we got married and in a way, it was easier to “cleave”. It is very important to cleave and leave some things behind once you are married. As you work together to build your marriage, leave some stuff behind-God helped me to do so and He will help you.

We will surely grow through times and seasons, but we need to first surrender and keep a humble heart before God and in our relationship with each other.

LOVE God, LOVE your husband and know that God is using a strong force - a “three-fold-cord” that cannot be broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12) for His GLORY! #SHELOVESHIM

Written by Leentjie Schoeman

#SHE EXPLOSION 21

#SHERELATIONSHIPS

MARRIAGE

GODLY DATING = COURTSHIP

Ever wondered what godly dating really means? It took me some time to figure it out and really understand the way that God wants us to Written by Andrea Ridgely enter into and be in a relationship with someone.

fter being in many worldly relationships and once I was bornagain, I finally learnt about and went into courtship with my husband. It was a completely different experience to what I was expecting or what I was used to. When you do things God’s way, there is such an excitement and God makes every experience you may have had in the past brand new! GODLY DATING OR COURTSHIP MEANS THE FOLLOWING: The establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind, during which time the couple gets to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement/marriage. A period of seeking God to determine if it is His will for a marriage to take place. Traditionally it is the man that will actively court and pursue the woman. If you look at the world’s standards today, you hear terms for relationships like ‘It’s complicated’ and ‘in an open relationship’. What do these even mean?! God never intended for men and women to have complicated or ‘open’ relationships. With worldly dating there is no real commitment, no long-term intention, just wrong living that almost always ends in sin and eventually hurtful separation. Satan really does pervert everything that God designed for good and for marriage between a man and a woman. 22 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

I don’t believe that godly dating/courtship is intended for us to date as many Christians as possible in church with the hope of finding “the one” but, ultimately if a serious and intentional courtship doesn’t work out then the courtship has done exactly what it was designed for; to determine, under the open protection of leaders, whether the two should marry or not. Godly dating and the process of courting is DELIBERATE with the end goal being marriage. Worldly dating provokes ungodly desires, uncertainty and insecurity.

TEN POINTS FOR GODLY DATING/ COURTSHIP: #1 PROTECTION The courtship is under the protection and guidance of leadership and mentors, for YOUR protection. Marriage is a life changing decision and divorce is not God’s plan for your life. #2 NO PRESSURE There shouldn’t be any strain or pressure during a courtship. God rules by peace and His timing is perfect. #3 GOD FIRST Pursuing your relationship with God and building His house should always be your number one focus. #4 SOCIALISE Have fun, go out and socialise together in groups with friends as you get to know each other and enjoy life.

#6 PRAY Be prayerful! Be a woman of prayer. Pray for your future, pray for your (future) husband, even if you are dating or in courtship – continue to pray, BUT don’t get distracted so that your only focus is on your future husband. Pray for him, but then leave it with God. The moment I made a decision to give my hearts desires to God and focus all out on His Kingdom, things started changing in my life and I really knew that God was preparing my husband for me. #7 GUARD YOUR HEART Choose not to become emotional and give your heart away. #8 ACCOUNTIBLITY Remain accountable to your leader/mentor in all circumstances even if you feel you may have crossed a boundary somewhere. There is liberty and freedom in the truth being spoken. #9 BE EVENLY YOKED The Bible says not to be unequally yoked (bound) together with unbelievers. This point was really important to me because I wanted a husband that would be leading me and my home in the things of God, leading me spiritually and taking us into our destiny. So when you are entering into courtship you want to be sure that the other person is just as sold out for God (if not more) than you are, is spiritually aligned with what you believe, is born-again, baptised and filled with the Holy Spirit, having a relationship with God and therefore you are equally yoked. 2 Corinthians 6:14 ‘Do not be unequally bound together with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness.’

#10 DON’T RUSH Be patient. Take time to hear from God whilst you have been spending time together as friends. Don’t try and rush the courtship as the end result is a lifelong commitment together. Ultimately I believe that godly dating/courtship and then marriage is for PURPOSE - two are better and stronger than one. It is a powerful thing that you have been united together as one to further God’s Kingdom. When you do get married it is a great gift and blessing from God. It is work and a commitment to love unconditionally. Eccesiastes 4:12 ‘And though one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.’ I Corinthians 13:4-8 ‘Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.’ “Girls - by far the biggest reason we see young people limited or even falling away from church, is ungodly relationships. If you’re the type of person that loves God and wants to do His will, make sure you seek and find out everything there is to find out about courtship and dating...and most importantly, take it to GOD and surrender this part of your life to Him. Almost every single godly person that is now married will tell you that they had to still learn to find their fulfillment in God within the relationship and not expect their husband to be what they were never designed to be! Be complete in Him, be sold out to Him - this will really form the best foundation for you building a godly marriage in the future.” - Pastor Karen #SHE EXPLOSION 23

#SHERELATIONSHIPS

#5 STAY PURE Choose to intentionally avoid temptation and stay pure by not putting yourself in difficult situations.

I AM NEVER

SINGLE

Being single is both a time of getting to know yourself, as well as a time of really getting to know God for who He is and the promises He has set out for you. I know it’s difficult to believe, but this season is probably your most fiery and productive season towards building the Kingdom of God!

ore often than not we find this that is holding you back from your full season the most difficult to get potential, I urge you to repent and ask God through; feelings like doubt, for forgiveness. I myself, had to deal with insecurity and worthlessness many of my own insecurities regarding my tend to spring up. Why? Because it’s an singleness. I had to search my heart to find opportune moment for the enemy to latch where I thought I was lacking, and I found onto and plant blatant lies in our hearts. For that I did not feel safe. Meaning that in my this very reason it’s crucial to check ourselves heart I didn’t trust God to be my protector constantly and make and my tower of sure that everything refuge. However, we do, we do for the after returning to I MYSELF, HAD TO DEAL WITH Glory of God and the Word I realised MANY OF MY OWN INSECURITIES not out of our own that if I didn’t trust REGARDING MY SINGLENESS. I HAD inhibitions - meaning God Himself, who TO SEARCH MY HEART TO FIND we can’t serve in WHERE I THOUGHT I WAS LACKING... in their full human God’s House just capacity would ever because we expect to be blessed with a be able to give me what I thought I wanted? husband, we can’t invest in other people just I repented, knowing that my feelings should because we want others to invest in us. It’s never trump principle and that Satan’s an empty cycle that will only disappoint. God lies about me should never trump God’s needs to be our first love and a lot of times promises. We all want to reach the finish line that means being content with only Him. and hear ‘good and faithful servant” and that really all depends on how we decide to run I’m not saying you will never need a husband; the race. that in itself is a Holy covenant from God, but it should never ever be the reason you I never said it would be easy and I suspect it feel insignificant or alone. If it’s something never will be - I’ve been in church for seven

“”

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years and if I knew then that seven years later I would still be unmarried, without kids and all the other things on my vision board at that time; I probably would have walked on to be honest. I would have completely missed out on the opportunity to have the ultimate relationship with God. What we sometimes overlook is that our relationship with God is just like any other. The longer you’re in it, the more authentic and real it gets and like any relationship it takes work. So I would advise every single lady to put in the work when it comes to your relationship with God and to make sure it’s thriving now more than ever - while you still have the time and are not sidetracked by a husband and kids! Having a family is part of God’s constitution and that’s why you can be confident that it’s something God wants for you, but in the same breath, know that this dream will never be at the cost of your calling. Don’t trade in your birthright for broth - meaning that just because you want it now it does not mean it’s God’s perfect timing for you now. Keep your eyes on eternity and don’t settle because there’s so much God still needs to do in you and through you.

Everything I’ve written above I have by no means overcome, I am still working through things. The least I can do is share my experiences and the lessons I’ve learnt along the way. I guess the most crucial piece

Know that God is not a liar! His plans for me are greater than anything I can even think or imagine, His thoughts towards me are good and outnumber every grain of sand on this earth. He is here to prosper me and not to harm me and He will take me from Glory to Glory! Remember that God is a jealous God. He is jealous for you, your time and affection. We can’t be disloyal. Don’t keep things in the dark. Don’t be ashamed or alone or imprisoned by your thoughts and secrets. Bring things into the light so you can seek wise counsel. Stay in PRINCIPLE. Choose good fellowship. It’s easy to find negative counsel on this topic and that’s the very reason you need to ensure that life is spoken over your life. Do the work and be where you’re supposed to be. Rachel was tending the flock when Jacob found her, so keep running for God! Always keep in mind the enemy is out to kill and destroy you, so know who you are in Christ and walk in that authority and promise every single day because you are never single and you are never alone. You are loved by Someone more powerful and able than anyone else to take care of you. Written by Victoria Wasteney #SHE EXPLOSION 25

#SHERELATIONSHIPS

“” HAVING A FAMILY IS PART OF GOD’S CONSTITUTION AND THAT’S WHY YOU CAN BE CONFIDENT THAT IT’S SOMETHING GOD WANTS FOR YOU...

of advice I can extend to you is not to take matters into your own hands. You do not want to end up with an Ishmael - something or someone that is outside of God’s will.

SERVING Even when he doesn’t “Oh how I LOVE the power of a woman rooted in Christ! Tarryn has been through a journey and still is - discovering what a woman of FAITH God has created her to be. All of us have our story and we all have our circumstances and this is hers. Finding Christ, only to discover it changes your whole outlook on life on every level, including marriage, bringing new and often unasked for challenges, can be a real faith stealer on your journey. But, as Tarryn

has shared, God really is a God of the possible. When we trust in Him, He either changes our PROBLEM, or He changes our PERSPECTIVE. But Tarryn has chosen to trust in God and has been an inspiration to us all ever since in “doing life”, choosing to walk in victory and strength! We pray strength, blessings, wisdom, increase and breakthrough over her life. We are with you sister! And we pray the SAME over yours, if you are on this journey too!” - Pastor Karen

#SHESTANDSINVICTORY - Tarryn’s story:

ust over seven years ago I married a man that I was totally in love with. Neither of us were born-again and to be totally honest, religion wasn’t something we had discussed or even considered. My ‘background’ was Christian and his was Catholic (the most corrupt kind of Catholic practices out there). Being worldly, we planned to have a child before we got married and six weeks after her birth we got married. Shortly after our daughter’s birth our marriage started taking a strain. I felt my husband didn’t show me any affection and I felt so lonely. I cried often and we argued often, he never seemed to do enough to keep me from feeling totally broken. When our daughter was around nine months old I realised I had postpartum depression and sought help. I was in a better place, but the issues I had with my husband didn’t disappear.

I felt totally new and washed clean but when I looked at my husband and his worldly ways, he seemed so unclean and I didn’t feel right being with him anymore. The love I once had for him was slowly dying and by this point, I felt nothing for him. I couldn’t understand it and was so lost. I went straight to my leader to try make sense of it all and to seek godly wisdom. After reassuring me that my husband was not a bad person and reiterating that my marriage was still from God, I then prayed for God to breathe fresh love into our home and to re-light a burning fire that had now died. I was still a young Christian and didn’t really know how to pray. I didn’t really know how to truly tap into God’s presence but He didn’t care about that. Shortly after, I looked at my husband with true love again. I accepted the ‘flaws’ that bothered me and I moved on. God answered my prayer regardless of how I did it, He knew my heart.

When our daughter was roughly eighteen months old I joined CRC and gave my life to God. This became a very confusing time for me.

Even though our relationship blossomed from then on, it didn’t change my husbands view of religion or the differences we shared about God.

26 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

Now, five years have passed and my husband is still not born-again. We have had two more kids and quite honestly, it has been a very difficult road. We have had good seasons, where his heart is softer and more understanding to my commitments and constant interaction with ‘church people’. Then we have had really tough seasons, where I faced his hostility regarding anything to do with God. “I don’t understand why you have to go there all the time! First it was Sundays, then Sundays and Wednesdays, now Mondays as well!?” Or, “Why do you give up our family time for them?’. The biggest issue has been about tithing. This always provokes an argument. The majority of our arguments were centred around my belief in God and his lack of belief in God. I would go to spirit filled meetings, leaving feeling so full I could burst but then I’d get home and it felt like the devil just sucked it out of me instantly! My home was not a place of freedom. It wasn’t a place I could just put some praise and worship on or just go and have some quiet time and read my Bible. All of that would be questioned and result in another argument. It was a very delicate balance trying to stay faithful and committed but, still keeping the peace at home.

Finally, with support from my leadership and God’s pure grace, I faced and conquered it. Only then was God really able to start working in me, slowly and gently guiding and working on me. When you live half your life surrounded by church and the other half in a home that God doesn’t seem to inhabit, growth is not explosive and rapid. It takes patience and delicate care, it takes determination and knowing that there is only one true way to do life! My prayers for my husband changed. The prayer itself stayed the same but, my heart changed. My cry is for him to truly experience God’s love, to know God and walk his own walk. My heart wants him to be saved for himself, not for me. We are currently in the best season we’ve ever been. He doesn’t come to church yet and has no interest in it but, he knows all my leaders and my close friends and even comes to social events. He doesn’t question why I do the things I do, we are able to talk ‘church’ without arguing and he’s just in such a great place now. God is working on him, softening his heart, preparing him for what’s to come. God isn’t done yet and I cannot wait for that magical day that I KNOW is coming! #SHE EXPLOSION 27

#SHERELATIONSHIPS

Written by Tarryn Mulder

The most frustrating time was when we were in a good season and he had a chance meeting with someone who had left church. The negative comments spoken to him took us right back to square one. I have however, learnt so much from it and I know it all had a purpose. I tried in my power to change him. Sure I prayed but, now I question whether my heart was even in the right place. I wanted him to believe in order to make my life easier. I wanted a more peaceful serving experience. I was so tired of fighting and I just wanted him to walk beside me, supporting me instead of attacking my beliefs. I see now that my reasons were selfish but yet again and through it all, God knew my heart. I was also dealing with a personal demon that I didn’t confront until about a year ago. My walk with God was on ‘hold’ until I tackled it and overcame it. I was there, God was there but we weren’t talking; I was just hanging on by a thread but refusing to leave church.

DEFINED

by God, not divorce

Going through a divorce was one of the toughest things I have ever had to experience in my life, especially coming from a background where divorce does not exist at all. Written by Lwenga Katalayi

parents have been will take care of me. I began to find people married for over 40 in my situation and helped them to find the years and this past love of Jesus and to walk in godly principles. June my aunty will be I didn’t always get that part right though, and celebrating her 50th wedding anniversary, so often struggled to know what it means to I am surrounded by great examples of long truly ‘seek first the Kingdom’ in the midst of and strong marriages. I am the first person divorce. in my family to go through a divorce My heart was broken even though it was and hurting so it I SUFFERED FROM PAIN, HURT not by my choice. never made sense AND REJECTION AND BEHIND My ex-husband CLOSED DOORS I FELT ALL ALONE... to put others before really believed he me. I suffered from was not called for pain, hurt and our marriage and suddenly decided to walk rejection and behind closed doors I felt all out, leaving me with our two very beautiful alone. I have grown up a very happy and boys, but sadly, no support from their father bubbly child and that has stayed with me at all. As much as I wanted to keep it a secret, into adulthood, however now I knew people everyone soon found out and I had to deal could see the changes. I slowly began with people knowing; some talking to me retreating into myself and my situation and others talking about me. Some people becoming the introvert I was never meant to came and asked questions, others came be. When I realised the change in me it made offering support and yet others came with me so uncomfortable and I was so desperate judgment and pointing fingers. for change because I knew that was not me.

“”

The repetition of telling people the story was in itself painful and raw and kept me in a place of constant reminders. Coming from a Christian background and being born-again, it pushed me to keep my trust in God and to always seek Him first. Instead of focusing on this awful thing I was going through, I started to put others first, knowing that God 28 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

In speaking to my church leadership I was advised that part of my healing and breakthrough would come from finding other single hurting broken mums, praying for them, loving them and teaching them how to walk in God’s ways by making them disciplined followers of Jesus Christ. Matthew 28:19 has taught me this.

#SHERELATIONSHIPS

â&#x20AC;&#x153;What an inspirational story. We are SO proud of this powerhouse woman. What the devil intended for harm, God has surely turned around for good. I also want to commend you for the absolutely fantastic job you are doing with your two handsome boys! Wow. Lwenga, I just know that you are still going to expand your reach for Jesus way beyond your wildest dreams. We are standing with you, trusting the Lord and not leaning on our own understanding! You GO girrrrrl! #SHEisamazing! - Pastor Karen #SHE EXPLOSION 29

I agreed to do it because I knew that if that to have this network of people around you was God’s will for me, then I will walk in otherwise it’s impossible to do anything obedience and He will come through for me. at all. Being open and relational is a key So with the guidance of my church leadership ingredient to getting support. Be honest I started running a mum and baby group for with people and tell them you are struggling single mums. Our goal was to win the mums so they can offer help if they are able to. over to the Lord, care for them, get them Crying on the inside in your private room will connected to God through the church vision not change anything. Above all keep God the and give them purpose. I loved these women centre, through prayer and the Word, ensure so much and got involved in their lives. you have daily intimacy with Him. We had cases where most of them were homeless or on the Some practical tips: brink of eviction but I typed up a Google because I had made spreadsheet with MY NAME IS NOT DIVORCE, OR connections with lots of scriptures that SINGLE, OR REJECTED, HATE, PAIN someone from the encouraged me and OR SHAME - BUT I DECLARE I AM A council and housing put up post-it notes DAUGHTER OF THE MOST HIGH, association, we of scriptures in my were able to help room as well. Every them get housed and back on their feet – time I encountered someone in a similar into stable work and life situations. position, I emailed them the scriptures so they can better themselves by the washing My passion to see women become all of the Word. I also focused on righteousness that God has for them really grew and and leading people to Jesus. I had a lot of without realising it, my healing was also scriptures that I meditated on about how to supernaturally woven into this season. The get right with God. I emailed them to all the love of Jesus just overwhelmed my heart ladies so they can also practice showing love because I could trust in Him again. Looking to other single mums. In times of desperation back I see how my involvement with people when the devil whispered lies to me I would and church activities, kept me from dwelling speak the Word over me to negate and void on thoughts about the divorce and what the lies of the enemy. I had been through. It became more of a testimony than a pain or hurt and brought Today I know my identity is in Christ and joy to me to repeat my story and smile about I know and believe what He says about it. me. My name is not divorce, or single, or rejected, hate, pain or shame - but I declare Being a single mum is not easy at all, but I have I am a daughter of the most high, a royal had great support from my family, especially priesthood with a great calling ahead of me. my mother who has been such a great My two favourite scriptures are: helping hand in looking after my boys and constantly reminding me that things will get Isaiah 41:10 ‘So do not fear, for I am with you; better and that it’s just a season. Above all, as do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will a single mum it’s important to be connected strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you to a local truth-loving church. Being planted with my righteous right hand.’ in CRC London has brought me tremendous guidance, purpose and support, especially in Proverb 3:4 ‘Trust in the LORD with all your helping to form stability, character and my heart and lean not on your own understanding.’ calling. It’s very important as a single mum

“”

30 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

#SHENURTURES

#SHE NURTURES

Her children arise and call her blessed;

- Proverbs 31:28

#SHE EXPLOSION 31

32 CRC WOMENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CONFERENCE 2017

MUM

Written by Anso Swart

Motherhood has undoubtedly been one of the most challenging and complex tasks I am blessed with. After the birth of my first son I felt so overwhelmed by the thought that this tiny, vulnerable little being’s life is in my hands and my responsibility. How was I meant to do this? I needed an ‘instruction manual’ on how to be a Mum!

ell thankfully God is so faithful and I soon realised that there actually is a manual – the Bible! The blueprint to parenthood is in His Word. Over the years, every question has been answered by scripture. I would like to share some of these with you.

family, to bless and prosper us, not because He wants to control our lives or spoil the fun! This is the start of the spiritual significance of being a Mum – without Him it will be spiritually insignificant.

“”

I must admit, despite my hardest efforts to let Him lead me and committing my family to Firstly, He reassured Him, it hasn’t always me that I am not been easy. We may IN CRYING OUR OUT TO THE LORD not like to admit in this alone. He TO BECOME A PROVERBS 31 WIFE, that our friends at promised me that He HE SLOWLY SHARED WITH ME will ‘gently lead those the “Mums and baby WHAT MOTHERHOOD IS REALLY who are with young’ group” or school, but Isaiah 40:11 – parenting isn’t all ABOUT... reading it still makes sunshine, rainbows me giggle because and sickly lip gloss of the way it’s phrased. This gave me all the kisses. Sometimes it is incredibly difficult. At reassurance I needed to know that with God, times I don’t know if I need to laugh or cry I can do it but, I need to allow Him to lead - especially when reading Proverbs 31:28and guide me! In Psalm 127:1 it states that 29 ‘Her children rise up and call her blessed; “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labour her husband also, and he praises her: “Many in vain”. I realised that I need to commit my daughters have done well, but you excel them life, my household, my husband and my kids all.’ My reality is so far from this; changing to Him, otherwise all my attempts to teach, dirty nappies, an upside down house, protect, discipline, love and guide will all be hungry and tired kids that need feeding… in vain. I believe God shared this with me as not quite ‘excelling’. In crying out to the Lord He would love to be part of our lives and to become a Proverbs 31 wife, He slowly #SHE EXPLOSION 33

#SHENURTURES

THE Spiritual significance of being a

shared with me what motherhood is really about and the ‘spiritual significance’ of it. It is so much more and deeper than a perfect clean house and getting praised. Being a mum is a ‘higher calling’ – there are so many examples of this in the Bible. The five women mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus Christ (Matthew 1) were mentioned for the children they gave life to and raised. These five women were Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba and finally Mary. All these women had an amazing walk with God and testimony. Having children and raising them in God’s ways was a huge part of their role and purpose in the Lord. Children did not hinder them from their destiny, but were part of it. The fact that they made it into Jesus’ genealogy shows us that raising children is significant in God’s eyes and part of our destiny and walk with God. Looking at Mary in more detail, she bore and raised Jesus.

“” REMEMBER, MOTHERHOOD IS MORE SIGNIFICANT THAN KEEPING A ROUTINE, A CLEAN HOUSE AND HAVING OUR CHILDREN IN TIME FOR SCHOOL...

Imagine the overwhelming responsibility she had to face to raise the “Messiah”? Circumstances were not always easy despite her being obedient and Jesus being without sin. She had her challenges but God chose her to be His Mum. She was ‘highly favoured and blessed among many women’ Luke 1:28.

It is the same for any Mother, we are blessed and highly favoured to have the privilege of bearing and raising children. It is important, it is a higher calling and God chose you to be the Mum of your children, it’s not a coincidence. Raising children is spiritually significant. Like Mary, we need to continually believe that with God nothing is impossible (Luke 1:37). To trust Him and continually surrender to Him (Luke 1:38). When it 34 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

comes to this we need to look past the messy house, the tantrums, the inability to live up to the Proverbs 31 expectation and trust that God chose us to be the Mum to our children – and continually trust that our help comes from Him (Psalm 121:2). Psalm 127:3-5 gave me another perspective on the spiritual significance of being a Mum: ‘Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate’. In verse 3 it explains children is a heritage from Him. It is a reward, a gift from the Lord not purely a responsibility or even a burden. Children are a blessing that only the Lord can bless us with. A gift of new life. In verse 4 it mentions that children are like ‘arrows in the hand of a warrior’. This opens up another spiritual significance: arrows are a source of protection. Arrows are weapons. Arrows are powerful and produce results. Arrows unlike swords, could go where a warrior himself could not reach. Arrows have the potential to carry the gospel to sindarkened hearts to the ends of the earth. Our children can take Jesus and the gospel to places we’d never reach but, arrows need to be made; they don’t just happen. God gives us a child like a raw piece of wood and helps us to shape them. We need to whittle, sand, shape and polish that stick into an arrow; straight, focused and strong. God loans our children to us for a while to prepare them for His use – they really belong to Him and He has entrusted them to us to shape them into what He has planned and destined for them. A great example of this is in Timothy. He was personally trained and used by God to achieve great things. This training initially came through Timothy’s mother, Eunice, and his grandmother, Lois. ‘When I call to remembrance the genuine

Question: how do we effectively do this? The saying “monkey see, monkey do” can be rephrased to “arrow see, arrow do!” The best foundation we can give our children is to serve the Lord ourselves; to have an intimate, alive and on fire relationship with HIM! Demonstrating this is far more powerful than any words or prayers. It’s out of this relationship with Him that the rest will flow. ‘As we are abide in Him we will bear much fruit’ John 15. This principle also applies to our children. We need the Holy Spirit to lead, guide, inspire and teach us how to discipline, correct, teach and love each of our children effectively. This is not where I am going to give you a seven step plan or quick fix. However here are some practical examples: GOD’S WORD We all know we should train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], ‘Even when he is old he will not depart from it’ Proverbs 22:6. but how do I do this practically with different genders, ages, seasons, love languages and personalities? Through the help of the Holy Spirit and God’s word…and demonstration. They soak up what we do and their perception of God is greatly shaped by their parent’s way of loving, correcting and caring for them. So let’s tap into Him so we can effectively live Him out to our kids.

RESPECT AND OBEDIENCE What better way to teach respect and obedience than by respecting our husbands, leaders, God and each other (Ephesians 5:22,24). SPEAK LIFE Let’s keep depression far from our homes by positively proclaiming God’s word over our families – speak life, not death! LOVE THEM PERFECTLY Let’s keep fear away from them by loving them perfectly (1 John 4:18). BE CONTENT Teach them to be content by not constantly being dissatisfied and complaining ourselves. I think you get the idea and there is even a reward. Psalm 127:5 ‘Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate. We won’t be ashamed of each other.’ With this knowledge (of our children and being a blessing and arrows in our hands) as a foundation to raising our children, I trust we will all be inspired to handle the next challenge our children present us with differently. Remember motherhood is more significant than keeping a routine, a clean house and having our children in time for school. It is a heavenly calling of great spiritual significance. It is shaping and preparing them for God’s destiny and purpose but even far more important, guiding them to salvation in Jesus and an eternity spent with Him. Let this not be another form of pressure though. Pursue a relationship with Him and let His Spirit guide us every step and moment of everyday. Ask Him to help you and He will provide the godly wisdom, love, patience, and strength you need. He will protect them when we can’t. Only then will we be a true Proverbs 31 woman! #SHE EXPLOSION 35

#SHENURTURES

faith that’s in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also’, 2 Timothy 1:5. So before Paul the Apostle took Timothy under his wing, the foundation of his faith was laid by his Mum. Eunice shaped Timothy into the arrow God could use for His glory and purpose. The greatest wish we could have for our children is that they will love the Lord with all their hearts, minds, soul and love their neighbours as themselves.

“” I AM TRULY THANKFUL FOR A VISION AND LEADERS WHO ALWAYS ENCOURAGE ME THROUGH EVERYTHING TO KEEP JESUS AS MY FIRST LOVE...

36 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

BALANCE “As a mum of five and pastor in my local church, many people have asked me how I get time to do things and how I do life. The answer is - by faith, I do what I need to do to make it work! I believe if God leads us TO something, He will lead us THROUGH something. For some mums, that will mean putting a career on hold. For others, it will be getting a nanny. We have the Spirit of Wisdom that

leads us and, where needed, will cause us to stop and ask for directions or help (can I get a #She high five?)! The one thing I can say about life that I’ve learnt is, there is “GRACE FOR OUR RACE”. We can do ALL things through Christ. I hope you will find as many pearls of wisdom as me, in this snippet of Alida’s life as she journeys through her season. And may I say, what a fireball example she is!” - Pastor Karen

I am a child of God and have been part of the CRC vision for more than 10 years now. I am also the wife of a dentist, mother of 5 children ages 7, 6, 3 and twin 1 year old girls. I am a trained medical doctor and a musician in CRC London’s worship team. Balancing life is an ongoing challenge...

believe that God has called me and that through His Holy Spirit, empowers and strengthens me daily for my purpose in all areas of my life and that it is His desire for me to walk with confident peace and not in condemnation. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfil His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]”

I learned many Kingdom principles over the years by going to church, attending Homecell, being under discipleship and through studying the Word. As my family and responsibilities increased, applying these principles to my life continuously, I succeeded in expanding my capacity. I am truly thankful for a vision and leaders who always encourage me through everything to keep Jesus as my first love and to fulfil my calling by seeking His Kingdom first above all.

#SHE EXPLOSION 37

#SHENURTURES

Finding your

All respect to my husband! When he enters the house, the dog and all five kids jump on him and then I also want a kiss and a cuddle! The craziness during the day, tiredness at night or being busy with church related things such as attending Homecell, prayer or practising piano, prevents us from even having a proper conversation unless we make a conscious effort. Small things such as having a cup of tea before bedtime makes a big difference in our marriage. We both recognise the current season and know it will get easier again. Many times, when it is total chaos around us, we just look at each other and start laughing! Pastor At Boshoff teaches that a man has three needs: Respect, Rest and Recreation... Having intimacy and having to get up three times a night to settle or feed babies is something I call recreation in my world! I am submitted under my husband’s authority and have learned to run things past him with an openness to be corrected and for his advice. We are one, after all - a dream team if we put God’s ways first. Even though I know God has called me to be part of the worship team, returning back to the ministry after each child’s birth, I needed my husband’s blessing and the right support in place. God did it each time at the appointed time! Fulfilling all the responsibilities in the worship team and as a leader in the church requires open communication with my leadership who are always going out of their way to help and support us as a family. I had to become more accountable with my time management to use it more effectively. Praise God for His anointing and fire that works through willing but imperfect vessels! I made decisions regarding my career at 38 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

different stages in my life. After the twins’ arrival, I put my career on hold. I love being a doctor, but I realised that to do what God is calling me to do at this moment I had to sacrifice it for now. WISDOM Being a mum of five is a great honour and joy. I had to change in many areas and had to learn to draw from the wisdom God placed in me through His Spirit. I have learned that quality over quantity time with each child is more important. Studying books on children’s love languages and different personalities helped me to understand the differences in my children and the way to communicate my love best to them and to meet their needs. TRUST AND OBEY I decided to trust God that if I sacrifice time with my family for His work, they will be blessed through my obedience. GET ORGANISED After a few slip ups, I had to improve keeping an effective diary to keep up with all the family, church and social related demands. Putting systems in place helped me to stay more organised. I write down my goals and keep declaring them over my life. LEAD BY EXAMPLE I teach my children the ways of God through conversation, my example, reading the Word and by taking them to Kid’s Church. We currently use a children’s daily devotion book with powerful confessions. MAKE TIME TO RELAX Relaxing with my kids and having fun in the woods on the school run is a daily highlight and gives me regular exercise.

GOD’S WORD Since my baptism in 2007 I have had an increasing desire to know Jesus more and to see His supernatural power evident in my life. At times, I barely found a moment to pick up the Bible, but it’s the Word and God’s presence that sustained me through the years, so I’ve always sought it.

church. I have an expectation daily for divine connections and conversations and to be used by God in my daily walk of life. A scripture that has encouraged me personally many times in my life is John 15:16 ‘You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you’ #JesusFocus #Explosion #GlorytoGod Written by Alida Nel

STAY CONNECTED Getting anywhere with five children is an interesting challenge, but my husband and I had always tried our best to stay connected and to be part of what God is busy doing in and through the church. When I am not able to attend in person, I try to be part of it in some way or another. Do not feel condemned, God is not in a box. Do what you can! God knows your heart. Be like the little boy who brought his fish and bread to Jesus who then blessed it and used it for a great miracle to feed thousands. You have something to give and to bring to God which He will use for His glory. I learned that Jesus can move in a Homecell that is packed with screaming babies. Just be willing to be used and do not isolate yourself. PRAY AND BUILD RELATIONSHIPS I believe in the power of prayer and have a board with names of people I pray for. I make a point to act in faith by making active plans each week to build relationships or to share the gospel or to invite someone to #SHE EXPLOSION 39

#SHENURTURES

ATTITUDE Happy mum; happy house! I can give numerous testimonies of how a total chaotic, stressful, unpleasant atmosphere in the house or even myself feeling overwhelmed and low in mood changed the moment I decided to change my attitude and thank God for something or to put on praise and worship music and sing.

RAISING GOD fearing adults “In times when I was worried if I am doing enough to raise my kids in a godly way; and if they will turn out loving Him, I had to turn to His Word and God showed me that His Grace is sufficient for our children in THEIR GENERATION. He will give them what they need to succeed. I have not passed the test of my children reaching adulthood. But Carol Cordier has been a member of her local church, CRC, for many moons;

and more importantly, she has successfully raised her children in the house of God and they are still serving Him passionately. What an inspiration and example! In a world where Christ is presented as increasingly irrelevant to youth and children, we just love her wise words and encouragement that God WILL help your children stay the course, by His grace.” - Pastor Karen

#SHETRUSTSINHISGOODNESS Having children is a very special gift from God. Psalm 127:3 ‘Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.’ And what a great reward it is!

rom the first, overwhelmingly, wonderful moment, when you hold your baby in your arms, to watching him or her grow up and mature into adulthood, it is a life changing experience. It is also a huge, lifelong responsibility and commitment, which God takes very seriously and so should we as parents.

Proverbs 22:6 ‘Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.’

Children are important to God, as we see throughout scripture and as such, they have God’s special protection and blessing. Children are a special enjoyment to the Father as can be seen in the way that Jesus treated children. God takes responsibility for children and gives responsibility to adults for their training and development. He wants children trained in the ways of the Lord.

THE ANSWER COMES FROM THE WORD OF GOD The Lord pointed out a specific scripture to me, many years ago. Still today, I am hanging on to it, declaring it daily over my children and now also concerning their marriages and spouses. Isaiah 54:13 ‘all your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace.’ This promise proved to be a lifeline

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As a young parent, this might look like a daunting task. “Where do I start?” is a question that many parents struggle with and so did we as parents of our two children.

NEVER THINK THAT YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALONE When you are born-again and have a close relationship with Jesus, you are never alone or left entirely to your own devices. The Holy Spirit lives in you, the Spirit of wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Not the spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind. The Holy Spirit will strengthen you and teach you all things. Isaiah 11:2 ‘and the spirit of the Lord will rest on him the Spirit of wisdom and understanding the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord,’

2 Timothy 1:7 ‘For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity but of power, love and self-discipline.’ John 14:26 ‘but when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative, who is the Holy Spirit, He will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you.’ Whether you are a single parent or a married couple raising children, you have to realise that you cannot do it on your own. God never intended for us to raise children without partnering with Him. We need to rely entirely on Him, His wisdom and guidance. He entrusted us with a precious gift - our children, but ultimately, they are His own. We are going to give account to Him one day regarding stewardship of our children.

“” HE ENTRUSTED US WITH A PRECIOUS GIFT - OUR CHILDREN, BUT ULTIMATELY, THEY ARE HIS OWN...

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#SHENURTURES

to us over the years. God’s Word never fails, His promises are true and His Word accomplishes that which it has been sent to do. Isaiah 55:11 ‘It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it’.

SOME FUNDAMENTAL NEEDS OF CHILDREN: #1 SALVATION, VISION AND AN UNDERSTANDING OF WHO GOD IS Proverbs 9:10 ‘The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.’ From a very young age, children should be taught about God and the things of God. Our lifestyle as a parent has to model a life of worship, obedience and reverential love for God, His Kingdom and the church of Jesus Christ. Through obeying the principle of being firmly planted and rooted in the true church of Jesus Christ, parents will lay a solid foundation in the lives of their children. We as parents have experienced this. CRC London has been a safe haven and place of provision for our family during the past 13 years. The Lord has worked mightily in our lives, through the leadership our church. Through the wise counsel of many, our lives are still being shaped and have been given an eternal purpose. Proverbs 11:14 ‘Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.’ So many Kingdom principles have been established in the lives of our children, principles which us as parents, might have never been able to impart into them without the help and the corporate anointing of the body of Christ. We are eternally grateful to the senior leaders of CRC, Pastors At & Nyretta Boshoff, and our CRC London senior pastors, Pastors Thabo & Karen Marais, for giving to us and our children, godly vision, guidance and purpose through discipleship. 42 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

#2 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE Luke 15:20 ‘So he returned home to his father and while he was still a long way off his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him.’ Every child needs to know and be reassured, that his or her parent’s love is unconditional despite their performance, mistakes or behaviour. #3 A SAFE ENVIRONMENT WHERE THEY CAN MAKE MISTAKES Matthew 14:28-31 ‘Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.’ “Yes, come,” Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted. Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?” The family unit and the home environment serves as a “safety net” for growing up, exploring life and learning by experience. It must be a nurturing and safe environment, where mistakes can be made and life lessons can be learnt. #4 EDUCATION

Deuteronomy 6:1-2 ‘These are the

commands, decrees, and regulations that the LORD your God commanded me to teach you. You must obey them in the land you are about to enter and occupy, and you and your children and grandchildren must fear the LORD your God as long as you live. If you obey all His decrees and commands, you will enjoy a long life.’

Use words that affirm and approve, words that commend and compliment, words that specifically speak love and affection, words that invoke hope and self-confidence and words that answer pain and disappointment with support and faith. Use affectionate gestures like a pat on the back or a firm steadying hand at that crucial moment, a whisper in the ear - giving quiet assurance or secret instructions, a snug tucking in at bedtime or a kiss on the forehead or cheek. #6 PROTECTIN Isaiah 54:17 ‘But in that coming day, no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you’. Psalm 57:1 ‘Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy! I look to you for protection. I will hide beneath the shadow of your wings until the danger passes by’. We need to teach our children to “abide in the shelter of the Almighty’. Psalm 91:1 ‘Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.’ As parents, we need to be alert and watchful against negative influences, bad habits and wrong attitudes. Protecting them, not only physically, but

through identifying and warning them against wrong influences and mindsets that may take root. By leading them lovingly away from danger to a place of safety, teaching them to take every thought captive and bringing it under the obedience of the Word of God.

PARTNERING WITH GOD You may ask: how do I partner with God concerning raising my children?

1. BY PLACING YOUR CHILD IN GOD’S HANDS

As an example, read Hannah’s prayer in 1 Samuel 1:27 ‘I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him, so now I give him to the Lord, for his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.’ Hannah understood that God had a purpose and a plan for Samuel’s life and she needed to dedicate him to the Lord in order for God’s will to be done. Placing your child’s life in the hands of God does not mean that we can sit back and give all the responsibility over to God. By giving your child into God’s hands it means that you acknowledge and declare that the Lord knows best what your child needs. That you trust Him completely, to shape your child’s future and to protect and teach them. If you have never done this, it does not matter how young or how old your children are at this moment, do it today. It is never too late to place your child’s destiny in God’s hands. 2. PRAYER Prayer is crucial and foundational, especially when it comes to raising your children. It doesn’t matter what you or your children are facing, it might be challenging behaviour, dealing with sickness and disease, disciplining #SHE EXPLOSION 43

#SHENURTURES

#5 THEY NEED PRAYER AND TO BE BLESSED Make it a priority to pray for your children and to bless them. Tell them regularly that they are loved, cared for and valued by God and yourself. It seems like something ordinary, but it carries immense weight and will influence their self-esteem, sense of purpose and belonging and how they treat others, positively.

your children, juggling your time between parenthood and work or allowing them to develop independence in a dangerous world - in prayer all battles are won!

WHAT TO PRAY FOR: Every area of your children’s lives needs to be covered in prayer. The list is endless but here are just a few examples:

Praying for them is a lifelong responsibility, it does not stop when they leave home.

(Acknowledgement: Praying For Your Adult Children by Stormie Omartian)

WHEN YOU PRAY: Believe that God loves you and your children and He hears your prayers for them and that He will give you and your children what you need when you ask for it. Matthew 7:11 ‘So, if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts who those who asked him’. Believe that because the Holy Spirit is in you, your prayers have power. 2 Timothy 1:7 ‘For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline’. Believe that no matter how big the task or problem looks, God is Greater and nothing is impossible for Him! Ephesians 3:20 ‘Now all the glory to God who is able through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more then we can ask or think’. Ask for the Lord’s will to be done and His promises to be fulfilled in their lives. The list of God’s promises to you and your children is far longer than your list of concerns for your children. Make your children aware that you are praying for them and teach them that the Lord is faithful. 2 Corinthians 1:20 ‘for all Gods promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding ‘Yes” and through Christ, our “Amen” which means “Yes” ascends to God for His glory.’ 44 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

The Lord to pour out His Spirit upon them. That they will develop a heart for God, His Word, and His ways. That they will grow and increase in wisdom, discernment and revelation. That they will find freedom in Christ, restoration and wholeness. Understand God’s purpose for their lives. That they will work successfully and have financial abundance and stability. Have a sound mind and a right attitude. That they will be able to resist evil influences and destructive behaviour. That they will avoid all sexual pollution and temptation. That they will experience good health and God’s healing. To enjoy a successful marriage and raise godly children. Maintain strong and fulfilling relationships. Be protected and survive tough times. Recognise their need for God. Walk into the future God has for them. I can recommend the ‘Power of Praying’ series from bestselling author: Stormie Omartian. Her books cover topics like: ‘When women Pray’, ‘The Power of a Praying Parent’, ‘The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children’ and many more. As parents, we have found these books to be invaluable during the years, especially in times when we feel like we don’t know what to pray for our children.

During the times that we face adversity, (or even when we just occasionally lose our ‘cool’ for a moment), we are inclined to speak out our feelings instead of what God says about us, our children and the situation. Nobody is perfect, it happens to everybody. What is important, is that you are quick to repent and then start declaring the opposite; what the Word says about the situation and your children. Remember that your words, declaring the Word of God, has creative power! 4. LEAD BY EXAMPLE Children are masters at imitating, and they imitate their parents and peers from a young age. In order for parents to teach the children well, they must have the right heart attitude themselves. We cannot teach our children to love, respect, obey and seek God if we are not doing the same and setting the example. 5. GET RID OF GUILT Parenthood does not require perfection. None of us are perfect, only God is perfect in every way. You/your spouse or family members are going to make mistakes.

Be quick to forgive: Yourself for anything that you feel you should or could have done better as a parent. Your spouse or maybe a family member for things that you think might have affected your child or family in a negative way. Your child for making mistakes or causing disappointment.

6. SUBMIT OURSELVES UNDER THE AUTHORITY OF GODLY LEADERSHIP AND CORRECTION Hebrews 13:17 ‘Obey your spiritual leaders, and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit.’ To be able to exercise godly authority over your children, you have to understand and be willing to submit under authority, to be able to operate in faith. Matthew 8:8-10 ‘But the officer said, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you come into my home. Just say the word from where you are, and my servant will be healed.’ I know this because I am under the authority of my superior officers, and I have authority over my soldiers. I only need to say, ‘Go,’ and they go, or ‘Come,’ and they come. And if I say to my slaves, ‘Do this,’ they do it.” When Jesus heard this, He was amazed. Turning to those who were following Him, He said, “I tell you the truth, I haven’t seen faith like this in all Israel!” CONCLUSION At one time or another, every parent has felt lacking in their ability as a parent. Instead of feeling the pressure of worldly expectations, do the best job you can to raise your children according to godly principles and leave the rest up to God. References: • When Women Pray by Stormie Omartian • The Power of Praying For Your Adult Children by Stormie Omartian • How To Effectively Speak Blessing Over Your Children by Jack Hayford • How To Be A Confident Mom by Joyce Meyer

Written by Carol Cordier

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3. DECLARE THE WORD OF GOD OVER YOUR CHILDREN

MERCHANDISE

ur #She merchandise was launched in 2016 with the idea to promote and raise awareness of our #She brand that is uniting our global vision. This year we have expanded our online presence with our very own shop containing various different styles and options. Looking ‘Shemazing’ has never been easier! Through our conference and through selling our empowering merchandise, we also raise funds and create awareness in the fight against Human Trafficking. With every item of clothing we boldly declare and stand in agreement that in our lives there will be:

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Explosion of Life and Peace! Explosion of Royalty and Character! Explosion of Love and Compassion! Explosion of Energy and Success! Explosion of Friendship and Sisterhood! Explosion of Salvation and things of Eternal Value! We invite you to come shopping with us for fabulous and fashionable clothes, and to unite with other #She women worldwide. We are expectant to have sudden, rapid and great increase in our lives this year! #wearit! #declareit! www.shelondon.com

#SHEPROSPERS

#SHE PROSPERS

She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks

- Proverbs 31:17

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FAITH AT WORK “Knowing Victoria personally, this woman has done phenomenally well in standing up to; and even just standing in, her circumstances! I shared her disbelief and disillusionment in the way her NHS trust responded and the subsequent events that took place. It certainly made the reality of how the existing legislation can be interpreted to be hostile to the sharing of Christ, even in the safe environment of a secure friendship, very clear. I felt throughout her trials and hearings that it really was a spiritual battle. There are countless people out there who are knowingly or unknowingly, working against Christians for no reason other than hatred towards Jesus. Although it is dressed up as “tolerance of other faiths”, in essence it is

utilised as persecution of Christian beliefs, in many cases. Jesus Himself said - if they hated me, they will hate you. However, Victoria has learnt a great deal and has some good advice for all of us about living out our faith at work. Through it all we want to encourage every person reading this not be intimidated, nor to give in to fear. Don’t fear it, faith it! We have been given the ability to pray for our government, our workplace, our lives. The gospel message and principles are founded on the love of Christ and is indeed good news! We pray that this Christian Nation will embrace the faith that made it great, and the faith that still continuously intercedes for its government and rulers!” - Pastor Karen

‘Victoria Wasteney, 39, was found guilty by her NHS employer in 2014 of “harassing and bullying” a work friend for giving her a book about a Muslim woman’s encounter with Christianity, praying with her and asking her to church. Ms Wasteney, a senior occupational therapist, challenged the decision by East London NHS Foundation Trust at an employment tribunal last year arguing that she herself was being discriminated against for expressions of her faith, but it ruled against her.’ Excerpts taken from The Telegraph - April 2016

he above is about a part of my life I have been journeying since June 2013. This was the day I was called to my manager’s office and informed that I was, with immediate effect, suspended from work and under investigation for serious allegations against a junior member of my team that could lead to my dismissal from my job and possibly my career. Having spent 20 years building a career that I was passionate about, the thought of losing everything led me to consider where my trust really rested. Was I really prepared to lose everything for God? We boldly confess it in between worship songs,

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Homecell nights and in prayer; but when push comes to shove - are we prepared to lose it all? Was I brave enough? I grew up in a fairly quiet village in Yorkshire; and I myself was a fairly quiet girl. I never really fit in nor stood out and it’s for this reason that I’m still in awe of the fact that God had entrusted me with this experience. However hard it was to stand my ground, I knew for a fact that I could not flinch. My faith was being tested; the enemy surrounded me from every side and if I backed down for even a second I knew I would be overcome.

#SHEPROSPERS

This controversy went on to catch the attention of both the National and International media. It lead to live interviews with the BBC, ITN and London Radio. I even received letters from around the world that I can thankfully say were mostly supportive and conveyed messages of encouragement, strength and even thankfulness for being so open about my faith. All of this came onto my path because I refused to leave God at the door. I refused to denounce my faith! Can I boldly claim that throughout this situation I never doubted God for a second and knew exactly what to do or say every step of the way? No - but I can truthfully say God has never proven Himself more faithful, more loving and more present in this season of my life than ever before. The only thing I was sure of was that as long as I stood by principle, I would make it through this. It was a choice of whether to trust God or trust my own knowledge.

we won souls, we won respect, we won for so many others previously prosecuted and many others that will likely be.

“”

I had to choose to stand on God’s Word, to choose to STAND when all else fails, to choose WE WON SPIRITUALLY spiritual victory even if in the natural victory felt far from being My advice to you realised. The following about sharing the scripture so clearly gospel in your ...THE THOUGHT OF LOSING symbolised what I was workplace would be EVERYTHING LED ME TO going through at the to tread carefully. CONSIDER WHERE MY TRUST time; “God’s people will To make sure what REALLY RESTED... never be put to shame, the policies are and you will appear before to respect what governors and you will be boundaries your employers have set out. a witness, He is our tower of refuge and strength, However we must never do or say anything in my weakness He is my strength! He will put at the cost of our salvation and the principles words in my mouth, do not fear for I am with you. God has set out for us. It’s crucial that we are I will go before you, my angels encamp around you wise about every move we make, and every - I am your provider and protector.“ word we utter because essentially we have a very real enemy in this world and no, we Throughout this experience there were so should never fear him, but we have to be aware many opportunities to take the easy way out of his schemes. Be wise in knowing when to and to just ‘bow’ to the enemy, yet even after evangelise and when to hold off, know when to deciding to keep going, I still struggled to see speak or when to rather be quiet. My favourite the win. However, looking back today I know advice would be to preach the gospel and use exactly where the win was. No, we didn’t win words if necessary. the case, on the contrary it’s still ongoing, but Written by Victoria Wasteney

#SHE EXPLOSION 49

Top 10

MONEY SAVVY Hacks

Written by Tyélle Render

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We know from studying the scriptures that everything belongs to God (Psalm 24:1), so we need to be good stewards of what God has given us to manage (Luke 19:1126). God expects us to be faithful and take responsibility of our finances. The Bible is rich with content about finances and selfdiscipline along with the wisdom on how to apply godly principles to achieve financial freedom.

saved hundreds of pounds by switching my insurance company each year. I recommend comparethemarket.com

GET PAID TO SPEND

Cashback websites act as a middleman between you and the online company you wish to part your money with. They will offer you cash just by clicking through their website. Almost everything is covered from flights to holidays, tickets to takeaways, service providers or designer clothes. Whenever I want to get something online, I first put it in the site search bar to see if I can get a saving. Since joining I have received nearly £1000 cashback just from shopping as I normally would except I do it via this site. I recommend topcashback.com

REDEEM YOUR POINTS

HERE ARE MY TOP 10 MONEY SAVVY HACKS

SHOP AROUND

You would be surprised how much money you can save just by checking out comparison websites for your car or house insurance. Insurance companies rely on the fact that people are too lazy to look around, so each year they will increase premiums whilst you handover your hard earned cash. Stop it! Take a few extra minutes out of your day, set up an account with the comparison website and start saving. Once your account is set up it will require the click of a button each year to find the best quote. I have

These days you can get a membership, points or reward card for almost everything. From Starbucks to Tesco’s and everything in between, everyone is offering their customers points or rewards for shopping with them. So what does Savvy #She Women do with these cards? We use them of course! I have been able to redeem tons of rewards through my membership cards ranging from free coffees, days at London Zoo and Eurostar train tickets to Paris. So every time I fill up my car, buy my weekly shop or get my Sunday coffee, I make sure I swipe my card. It all adds up and there is definitely value in redeeming those rewards.

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live in an age where spending money has never been easier. We literally have to ‘tap’ our card, and bam, it’s paid! With the ever increase of overdrafts, loans and credit cards, most of us don’t even think twice if we can afford it or not. Couple that with a bad or non-existent budget and lack of savviness, you are looking at a very unhealthy bank account and your home littered with things you don’t need.

GET RID OF THINGS YOU DON’T NEED

Luke 12:15 ‘He told the people, “Be careful to guard yourselves from every kind of greed. Life is not about having a lot of material possessions.’ Do you have a library of books, CD’s or DVD’s filling up space? Old electronics, phones or gadgets in the bottom draw you don’t open anymore? Get rid of it! Either give it away to someone who will find new life in it or make some money! Personally I hate clutter so once something has served its purpose, I sell it! There are great websites like webuybooks.co.uk, musicmagpie. co.uk, gumtree.co.uk and ebay.co.uk where you can sell your wares. Also check out comparemymobile.com for the best offer for your old mobile phone.

REASSESS YOUR MONTHLY CHARGES Luke 16:1 ‘Now He was also saying to the disciples, “There was a rich man who had a manager, and this manager was reported to him as squandering his possessions’. Ask yourself do you really need it? Am I using it? Is it really value for money? Is there another way to benefit from this service? For instance, when my phone contract was up for renewal instead of getting the latest phone, I kept my existing phone - it was still working perfectly. Instead, I downgraded my contract from £55 to £15 a month. That is a massive saving! Even purchasing the newest model yourself instead of getting it through your contract will save you money in the long term – and it won’t tie you into a lengthy 52 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

contract. Another good habit is to check out your standing orders and direct debits to see if there are things you are paying for that you aren’t using. Remember signing up to the gym in January but you haven’t visited since?

GET YOUR MONEY BACK Ecclesiastes 2:26 ‘To the person who pleases Him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God’. I am almost 100% sure you’ve received one of those pesky calls telling you about PPI. Now as annoying as those calls are, there is truth to what they are saying. However, you can do it yourself and not have to forfeit a % for their services. If your bank or loan company have ever charged you Payment Protection Insurance on your credit card or loan, or if your bank charged you a fee for a service you didn’t ask for, you can claim this back yourself and it is very easy to do. I one claimed back over £5000 from a loan I had taken out years ago, as well as a few hundred from my bank who mis-sold me a service that I did not need or ask for. All you need to do is write to your bank, credit card or loan company explaining why you believe you were mis-sold the service/product.

SET UP A BUDGET

Luke 14:28 “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?” Now this sounds simple and I am sure we all have one, or at least have tried to follow

GET OUT OF DEBT Proverbs 22:7 “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.” If there is a choice to pay off debt or to save/ spend the money – always choose to pay off the debt first, you will be better off in the long run. Paying interest on debt makes no sense as you are literally throwing money away. Another way to work around interest is consolidating your debt. There are great credit card offers where you don’t pay any interest for 12 – 24 months. By having your debt all in one place you can better manage it. Now this isn’t a licence to make more debt, so be wise.

START SAVING Proverbs 13:22 “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.”

If you are in the position where you don’t have any debt, start saving! A good way to do this is to automate it. Work out your budget, see how much a month you can afford, then setup a standing order. This way it will act like a ‘bill’, forcing you to save - set and forget.

#10

TITHES & OFFERINGS Malachi 3:10 ‘Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need’. 1 Timonthy 6:10 ‘For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows’. This is the most important point! There is no way you can experience financial freedom and gain control over your finances if you don’t put God first. Money should not have a hold on you, nor should there be an emotional attachment to it. When you apply the principle of tithes and offering it loses its grip on your heart, showing God that you trust Him completely with your finances. We know from scripture that God doesn’t want us to worry about anything and that He will take care of us. So yes, we need to apply all the principles, wisdom and be money savvy, but ultimately, if we don’t trust and honour God with our finances it is all in vain. It’s all His anyway.

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one – but having a simple and effective way to record your spending is key to managing your finances. A good way to do this is on a spreadsheet – one that automatically adds things up as you go along. This way it is clear where your money is going and if there are areas you can work on if you are over spending. Now what I like to do is have two identical spreadsheets, but the second one I call my “ideal” budget. This is where I have no debt to pay and the money I saved is allocated to things I would prefer to do with my money like investing, holiday fund or a bigger clothing budget. This is a good little motivator to keep on top of my finances.

BUSINESS: Supernatural growth...

Going from working in a corporate environment to starting my own business hasn’t been an easy or a pretty journey - even though God has been with me every step of the way. Written by Victoria Fan

says in Zechariah 14:1 ‘God will bring a process of refinement so we can be used to fulfil His purpose in our lives.’ The toughest times in the transition from being employed to starting my own business have been when I was expecting increase to come through my own strength and work - but it didn’t. It was during these times that my faith was truly tested. What I have learnt and continue to learn is that God is faithful and His timing is always perfect. Through God’s favour I have met trustees of big charities, company directors and music artists that were needed to make progress in my business. Many doors have been opened to reach and impact audiences that I know God has promised me. As a result, my work has been auctioned at big fundraising events and will be used by music artists. I have stood on and continue to stand on God’s promises that He will bring and continue to bring the increase and that He will not fail or forsake me. Now, through God’s strength, wisdom and guidance, I am growing my businesses in portrait commissions, online skincare and beauty, and scripture based stationary. I am expectant for the continued supernatural growth of my enterprise. victoria-fan.com / painted-scripture.com victoriafan.arbonne.com ‘At the right time, I, The Lord, will make it happen.’ Isaiah 60:22

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#SHECAMPAIGNS

#SHE CAMPAIGNS

She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy

- Proverbs 31:20 #SHE EXPLOSION 55

#She Campaigns Against

HUMAN TRAFFICKING IT’S REAL BUT #SHE CAN BE THE DIFFERENCE!

he CRC London Women have a history of using creative and fun ways at every conference and throughout the year, to raise awareness and funds to fight human trafficking and campaigning against this 21st century atrocity. We believe that women who are empowered in their god-given identity and purpose, set alight by the Spirit of God, will make a tremendous difference in their world. We believe in the power of ONE and the difference it can make to reach one. We are proud to sow into Hope for Justice, a British non-profit organisation, which aims to end human trafficking and modern-day slavery. Check out their website for more info. Any profit made from our Pre-loved shop, merchandise and all donations, will be sown towards CRC London’s great cause of fighting modern day slavery and donated towards H4J.

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Future exploits planned: We are planning to imminently have further campaigns for 2017, such as our planned Charity Crossfit session. We are planning to go onto the streets in a specific area in London, at an opportune time and give rescue packs to vulnerable women. We are planning to launch fashion items online, that exists solely for the purpose of raising funds in support of anti-human trafficking campaigns. A large part of the #She Explodes Conference 2017 is about creating awareness of this very real and current atrocity. To make a donation, you can do so via JustTextGiving by texting CRCL00 followed by an amount (£1, £2, £5, £10) to the number 70070 – please note that up to £30 can be sponsored via JustTextGiving with three transactions of £10 per day. If you want to get involved in practically fulfilling the CRC vision to campaign against human trafficking, contact the office at info@crclondon.com.

The illegal movement of people, typically for the purposes of forced labour or commercial sexual exploitation A CRIME WITH THREE ELEMENTS

THE ACT

THE MEANS

THE PURPOSE

WHAT is done e.g. Recruitment, transfer, transportation, harbouring or receipt of persons. NOTE: Where a victim is a child, only ACT and PURPOSE are required.

HOW it is done e.g. threat or use of force, coercion, abduction, fraud, deception, abuse of power or position of vulnerability, giving or receiving of payments or benefits used to control a person.

WHY it is done e.g. to exploit a person through prostitution, other forms of sexual exploitation, forced labour or services, slavery, servitude or removal of organs from a person.

HUMAN TRAFFICKING STATISTICS

20.9 mn

£106bm

1 yr old

20.9 million estimated slaves worldwide, that’s three out of every 1000 people worldwide

£106 billion made each year from forced labour, that’s over £3,720 a second

Babies younger than one year old and adults up to the age of 63

* Information taken from the Hope For Justice website: www.hopeforjustice.org.uk #SHE EXPLOSION 57

#SHECAMPAIGNS

WHAT IS HUMAN TRAFFICKING?

Hope for Justice exists to end human trafficking and slavery, in our generation.

ope for Justice is a British non-profit organisation which aims to end human trafficking and modern-day slavery. They currently operate in Cambodia, Norway, the US and the UK. With headquarters in Manchester, UK, Hope For Justice seeks to investigate and rescue trafficking victims, assist in aftercare, hold traffickers accountable, and campaign on a wider level to improve awareness and legislation. At least 134 victims of human trafficking have been rescued in the past three years alone, with the assistance of Hope for Justice. Read more about their recent successes on News Page by visiting www.hopeforjustice.org.uk or read their most recent Annual Report.

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OUR PLAN - Hope for Justice identifies and rescues victims, advocates on their behalf, provides restorative care which rebuilds lives and trains front-line professionals to tackle slavery. TRAINING - We train front-line professionals such as the police, care homes, doctors and outreach programmes to identify victims and/or work appropriately with them. RESCUE - Our specialist Investigators identify victims of human trafficking, build bridges of trust with them and remove them from situations of exploitation. ADVOCACY - We secure criminal and civil justice for victims and advocate for access

#SHECAMPAIGNS

BEN COOLEY

TIM NELSON

Co-Founder & Chief Executive Officer

Co-Founder & Director of Development

to housing and health services and the cancellation of debts created by traffickers.

team to combat a complex crime which has a profound impact upon its victims. Our highly experienced staff are bringing expert care and innovative strategies to their work with victims, partner organisations, law enforcement and government. I’m incredibly proud of the work they do each day.”

RESTORATION - We work with victims to overcome trauma and rebuild their lives. Our restorative care homes offer tailored programmes and we help partners develop accredited programmes too. A job working backstage in a theatre changed Teesside opera singer Ben Cooley’s life forever. The Royal Northern College of Music graduate launched a charity after hearing horrific statistics associated with human trafficking. Ben, aged 29 at the time, said, “I was a stage hand at a conference when I first heard about lives devastated by trafficking. I had just become a dad and thought, if that was my daughter I’d do something.” In 2004, in his fight against this “modern day slavery”, Ben booked the Birmingham NEC to raise awareness. He said: “Hope for Justice was born. We are now in a position to run initiatives where victims are rescued. We’ve brought together a multidisciplinary

Tim Nelson is the Director of Development with Hope for Justice. He was born and raised in Northern Ireland but is now based in Bradford at Life Church with his wife and four children. Tim is on fire for God and is passionate about his work with Hope For Justice. Tim sits as a trustee on the International board and on the management team of Hope for Justice, plus he now oversees international development at Hope for Justice based in the UK. We welcome both Ben and Tim as special guests at our conference this year. For more information on the charity or how you can get involved visit the website www.hopeforjustice.org.uk #SHE EXPLOSION 59

P R E L O V E D P O P - U P

S H O P

he Preloved Pop-up Shop was birthed with a heart to bring women’s passion for fashion and love of shopping hand-in-hand with raising awareness and funds for the fight against human trafficking. We started our first preloved shop in 2014 at our women’s conference where pre-loved items of clothing, shoes and accessories were donated from our ladies and sold at bargain prices. We saw that it was an effective way to raise funds for anti-human trafficking whilst having lots of fun with friends.

She In the beginning of 2016, we launched the quarterly Preloved Pop-up Shops as a separate identity where we have now taken second-hand clothing to a whole new level. This year we have expanded even more by adding our amazing Spa & Beauty area where ladies can get pampered for a great cause! The popularity of the Spa & Beauty area has been so great, it was hard to deny that ladies absolutely loved this concept. With this in mind, we will be launching our very first all day Spa & Beauty day soon - so watch our CRC London Women Facebook page for more info! Our heart and vision for our shop is for it to evolve into a fully functional stand alone shop that would not only raise awareness and funds towards fighting human trafficking, but would create jobs and opportunities to share the gospel with our unsaved world! Shining a light into our community, and being a safe haven for those who don’t have a voice. If you would like to get involved or would like to donate any of your preloved items please get in touch at info@crclondon.com

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ho are we and how can you get involved? In 1984 the vision of JAM was stirred in the hearts of the wonderful founders Peter and Ann Pretorius. Over the last 30 years of relief and sustainable development, JAM is committed to the vision of ‘Helping Africa Help Itself’.

get muddy in the JAMudder obstacle race (23 September) or last but not least doing something a little closer to home by hosting a Come Dine with JAM dinner with friends. Your contribution will have a life changing impact on the life of a child in Africa. Other projects include having the opportunity to be part of a school makeover.

Operating in Mozambique, South Sudan, South Africa, Rwanda and Angola, JAM is feeding over one million beneficiaries daily.

Alternatively you can help by giving £5 a month which will feed a child for a whole month. Little drops make a mighty ocean and together our goal is to ensure no one goes hungry, no matter how far away. We have an opportunity to partner with and empower these communities who are suffering. Join the JAMily and help us, help Africa, help itself!

Since 2001 JAM has built 2500 water wells and have 691 active agricultural developments. JAM’s mission is to empower others along with fighting against hunger and malnutrition in Africa. The goal is to eradicate hunger and malnutrition altogether. The vision and mission of JAM has taken root in the hearts of many around the world, and the progress to date will not be possible without generous contributions, strong partnerships and a network of passionate JAMBassadors across the globe. There are many ways to get involved; whether you take on the challenge to cycle to Amsterdam (15-19 August) with our #RedRiders, feel you’re ‘brave’ enough to 62 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

Please visit our website for more information, to get involved or to make a donation www.jamunitedkingdom.co.uk or feel free to connect with a JAMbassador at jamlondon@jamint.com

#SHEISFREE

#SHE IS FREE

She can laugh at the days to come

- Proverbs 31:25

#SHE EXPLOSION 63

Living life depressed is not

GOD’S NORMAL Written by Pastor Karen Marais

Lamentations 3:19-26 “I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.” The LORD is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.”

He really is the answer! Seeking healing is a journey-not a quick fix; and very much a case of genuinely seeking the answers in God’s Word, as you grow in your relationship with Him. This is a topic I think we should all face, discuss and understand, to be able to make a success of our lives as it affects us all-especially as women.

I myself have had mild to moderate depression without understanding what it is, at several points in my life, from a young age. There were even suicidal thoughts, which after being born-again, I clearly discerned as not coming from myself but opportunistic, I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT demonic oppression GOD HAS SET ME TOTALLY FREE that came when THROUGH APPLYING HIS WISDOM are all broken vessels my mental state AND BY LEARNING TO RELY ON in a broken and fallen might have come THE HOLY SPIRIT... world, but God takes across as less stable our brokenness and makes it BEAUTIFUL. and positive. I also experienced postnatal In fact, He has the ability to make it more depression after the birth of our first child, beautiful than it could ever otherwise which went undiagnosed by myself, the be! My sister and friend, God wants you NHS, my friends and family. I thank God to be entirely FREE from oppressive and that I could hold onto Him, because of the depressive thoughts and feelings. He set us fact that I had a real loving relationship free for FREEDOM, not to remain in slavery with Him. I have always been in love with to dark emotions that drag us down! I’m so His Word and this is truly vital because the very thankful that I can share a few thoughts Word really is our anchor. I also thank God with you as I have journeyed with many of for godly friends that kept on encouraging my friends and sisters; and indeed myself, me and laying hands on me, praying life over through being depressed. I can honestly say dry bones! that God has set me totally free through applying His Wisdom and by learning to rely If you are reading this, God has lead you on the Holy Spirit. So, I will do so purely from to it to bring change - for some of you a perspective of knowing Jesus, because subtle tweaks, but for others, supernatural

“”

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breakthroughs. Most of us experience some form of short-lived depression, or depressive thoughts at some point in our life. For some, feeling depressed is so part of life right now, that it’s your “normal”, but I really believe God wants to touch your life and restore your JOY! Your “normal” should be walking in daily victory and joy! Sure, we will hit those guaranteed speed bumps in the road - but as we shoot our roots down in His Love, the Spirit in us produces righteousness, peace and JOY! Paul says from his own experience it is God who comforts: “But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus.” 2 Corinthians 7:6 The opposite of feeling depressed is indeed JOY and PEACE; and by the Spirit of Jesus in us, righteousness, joy and peace is what the Kingdom is about (Romans 14:17). The Bible also says ‘the joy of the LORD is our strength’, so as we tap into the power of the Spirit, HIS PERFECT JOY becomes our STRENGTH. The catalysts of godly JOY is THANKFULNESS, and a having a perspective of God’s truth. Someone once said: “Thankfulness is the antidote of depression.” It is the WILL OF GOD that you should understand that the Holy Spirit enables us to possess three things: righteousness, joy and peace. Not only will your life be a success as the Spirit influences your decisions, it will be a pleasure. So much can be said, but I will briefly touch on understanding depression, the origins of it and godly solutions. We have to understand that we have unseen demonic enemies demonic armies, in fact; and the Bible says Satan himself is out to kill, steal and destroy us. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10 #SHE EXPLOSION 65

He works through the broken world we live in, to form lies and disfunction in us, from childhood. Our thought life is what he’s after, since the way we think will determine what we are, what we do and what we become! As we are emotionally impacted through life’s disappointments and the lies we may believe that shape our perceptions, we form many “default” ways of thinking. We do this without realising these consistent default thought patterns that are “normal” to us, do not lead to life and joy, but rather sets us up for destruction. We may even literally form illnesses as a result.

life is some powerful things, part of our very being, that were designed by God to help us experience life and govern this earth called feelings or emotions. Emotions are a beautiful part of our nature, that is created in the image of God. However, we can be so at home in our imperfect, default, usually defensive emotions that are dominating us, that it feels “normal”, yet totally clouds the God-perspective.

“”

I so clearly remember how strong my seeming reality was at the time I had my first baby - but looking back now, I realise those HE WORKS THROUGH THE perspectives were The enemy - Satan BROKEN WORLD WE LIVE IN, TO entirely shaped by - works through any FORM LIES AND DISFUNCTION IN my strong emotions and every medium that were ruling my that is influential US, FROM CHILDHOOD... thought life, as a in your life-that result of hormonal you knowingly or changes, life changes and sleep deprivation! unknowingly allow. He sets out to attack Mums-combine this with losing your Godthe person you are not only at that moment, perspective by not being in the Word and but are destined to become. This is achieved there we have a perfect depression cocktail. by making sure lies are spoken over you, Let’s call the cocktail “#She’s going under” - I by strategically working through media and think I’ll pass on that one, thanks! It’s way opinions, to get you to compare yourself to too costly anyway. all other standards except yourself and who God has created you to be. Satan will lead Doing soul-searching and examining you to believe there is joy and happiness every part of you to see how you can be in many things and there is in fact a false, aligned with God’s promises, will set you or short-lived joy. But much like drugs, it up over time to become a success in your leaves you wanting the next “high”. We fall mental health/thought life. From a biblical into a life, consciously or subconsciously of perspective, this can only happen if we have singing “...but I still haven’t found what I’m a genuine, trusting relationship with God and looking for!” So, the endless dissatisfaction a willingness to give up our ways of doing and poor coping within ourselves; and with things. Sometimes we only get to this point disappointment in others and life, continues. when we’re fed up with being fed up! When Proverbs 4:23 says: “Above all else, guard your we allow depression to persist, it goes over heart, for everything you do flows from it.” into a permanent state, classed as clinical depression that affects even the basics of Science has now proved without a doubt daily living. This needs special attention, but that up to 85% of all illnesses stem from I believe it is completely reversible and that our thought life. But we have the power to Jesus died to set us free from this! choose our thought life and renew it. In short - it’s not what happens to you in life, but it’s how you respond to it, that determines how it will shape you. At the seat of our thought 66 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

#1 LIFESTYLE We’re taking EVERYTHING you do or don’t do, to keep your brain and body working effectively. It’s incredible how many of us blame the devil and our genes, when neither of those deserve the credit for such an incredible feat (or defeat!). It really is often a case of “people perishing for a lack of knowledge,“ as the scripture says...sometimes literally. Things that are lifestyle based are: Nutrition: deficiency results in hormonal imbalance, tiredness, lack of focus, etc. Unresolved (poor management of) stress. Sadly, many non-christians do more to practically manage their stress than us Sleep deprivation Lack of fitness Lack of recreation / intentionally having fun

#2 HORMONAL IMBALANCES MOST often a result of a poor lifestyle. These influences every part of our functioning, including our emotions. #3 NATURAL LIGHT DEPRIVATION Even a slight shortage of Vitamin D can make it more difficult to get up in the morning! #4 SICKNESS In fact, having any sort of sickness tends to slow us down, which makes us feel depressed, so it’s not only due to the physiological influences of disease. #5 MEDICATION.

#6 THOUGHT LIFE - “stinking thinking” Negativity, false beliefs, patterns of impulsive or emotional decision making, etc. #7 UNDEALT WITH ISSUES from your past, influencing default thought patterns, eg sexual abuse. #8 SPIRITUAL OPPRESSION God gives us authority over all forms of oppression, but until we recognise it and deal with it, this is a very real source of depression. In dealing with depression, firstly you need to search and find which of the above issues are working in your life. I recommend you find out everything you can about lifestyle influences, eg nutrition and how it affects your bodily functions and even hormonesbefore you even start on the journey of conquering it. I suggest you do this with a trusted, God-fearing friend or mentor in your life. Then, look at your thought life intently! The Bible is clear-as a person thinks in their heart, so they are! This is because of the chemical reactions that take place in your brain that form extremely strong default pathways, over years. Your thoughts will also no doubt result in what you say, do, what you ask for and declare in your prayer life (or don’t). Make sure you take authority over the spiritual side of things - you are and always will be a target for the enemy, but the Bible says: SUBMIT to God, resist the devil and he MUST FLEE. It also explains in Ephesians 6 what your spiritual armour is. We command spiritual forces to leave in the Name of JESUS. Any daughter of God has the authority of Jesus Christ over evil forces. We need to learn to use that authority daily. Zig Ziglar said: ‘You are a result of everything today that you do or don’t believe about #SHE EXPLOSION 67

#SHEISFREE

SUMMARY OF BASIC CAUSES OF DEPRESSION / FEELING DEPRESSED:

yourself.” What are your beliefs? Do you truly believe you are who God says you are? I cannot stress the importance of renewing your mind according to God’s Word, enough. Believing lies, is like drinking poisonous water, but then you keep on going back for more! CONSIDER THIS THOUGHT LIFE ANALOGY: On a farm, there are animals that have formed a path to a water source. The only problem is, this water turns out to be full of disease, slowly killing them. The animals don’t know, that the real, fresh life-giving water source, is just to the other side in an overgrown part of the forest! The forest is overgrown in that part, because the animals haven’t walked down there. One day, the animals get fed up with going down the same old route of destruction and decide that change is needed. They turn to the only one they know can really helpthey’ve relied on themselves far too long, to no avail. They turn to their owner, the farmer! They decide to trust the farmer, who tells them about the living water. They agree to follow him. The farmer starts by putting up a gate as barrier to the old path. He points to a very dense, seeming uninhabitable route. He tells them that underneath the overgrowth, is a new route waiting to be discovered. Although doubting, they choose to start on this new route, as their desire for true living water is greater than their desire for the known, comfortable route that leads to destruction. As the animals first start walking through, it feels seriously uncomfortable... even life threatening! They are tempted to just turn to the old route, but the farmer has now put a gate up. On the gate is a sign of authority -no trespassing! The animals keep on pushing forward and finally find the real water. Over time, they are amazed to see that the old path is now the one that is beginning to develop undergrowth, because 68 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

no animals have walked there for a while. Before long, as this continues, the new path becomes the easy route and the old one will be overgrown and not so easy to access. If the farmer is the Holy Spirit, the gate to the old path is the Word of God, the animals are our thoughts and the route is our thinking pattern, it is a clear analogy! Many routes of thinking that we habitually follow are sadly destructive and result in destructive behaviour and emotions. We formed that route, because it was our instinct and response to life and all the lies we accepted. It will for most be uncomfortable, even painful, to let go of old perspectives and find new ones. But they lead to living water-the life in abundance our Owner-our Father-has for us! As we continue to choose LIFE, we find that the old ways become fainter and fainter...until, over time they are entirely replaced with only a distant memory! They can surely be replaced, despite those “speed bumps” in the road or the odd slip up. There are quite a few examples of what is likely to be depression, in the Bible. In many cases we can even be led to believe it was more if just melancholy or feelings of depression, but actual clinical depression. David, a “man after God’s own heart”, was overwhelmed with grief and sadness, his heart was desolate, and his tears fell all night (Psalm. 61:2, 77:2-3, 142:4, and 143:4). But he says: “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.” Psalm 42:5 POSTNATAL DEPRESSION Special mention should also be made about postnatal depression which very often goes unnoticed. A time of blessing and blossoming becomes a spiritual or psychological desert. This comes in ALL “shades of grey” - so even a mum that is happy to care for her baby, could have postnatal depression. Baby hormones surge through the mom’s body.

In all these instances, getting into the Word will make a tremendous difference. It’s really a key in calibrating our perspective. In some cases, due to large longstanding hormonal influences, anti-depression medication may be needed for a short time - there is a place for it. I would always opt for herbal medicine first, if there are no other safety concerns, but sometimes medication is needed to stabilise a situation so further steps to healing can be made.. Psalm 51:10-12 “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”

DRUGS ALERT

Antidepressant medicine can play a very important, if not crucial part of the healing process, especially in acute phases of Clinical Depression. However as you may know too well, it does have side effects, like being difficult to be weaned off and “numbing” your emotions completely...and emotions are also important for healing! This in itself can be frightening and frustrating. If you have embarked on your healing process by faith, it could be tempting to just DROP all medication - but this is unwise. It is absolutely imperative that you should first be stable and then gradually wean yourself off. See it this way: The drugs have become an external coping mechanism for internal ones you didn’t have, or were inadequate. As you start putting in those godly, healthy strategies, renewing your body and mind, the “old”, or “temporary” structure that kept you up, can be wisely removed over time. It is definitely possible to be set free instantly from depression and in such cases, we can trust God that we will have a clear Word from Him, witnesses (eg, mentors and leaders that agree) and a “yes” from your medical practitioner to try going off it instantaneously. Yes, you can ABSOLUTELY be set free, but as we just found out, healing from depression is a process of mindrenewal that over time, caused effects in our body and life. Hence, even if you believe in your spirit that you are healed, it will do no harm going through a wise weaning process, knowing that you ARE healed! God will still prove Himself through this situation. #She Woman - JESUS loves you SO much and has given you the POWER by the SPIRIT and the WORD to be PERMANENTLY free from depression. He gives us a HEALTHY MIND. He turns our sorrow into joy and our mourning into dancing. RECEIVE TOTAL HEALING FROM DEPRESSION TODAY, IN JESUS NAME! #SHE EXPLOSION 69

#SHEISFREE

She often doesn’t sleep, doesn’t spend time with God and in the Word as before and over time, that could be a real issue. It’s important to realise that many symptoms happen over TIME, often after the initial elation of having a baby has slightly worn off. My personal experience and that of many moms that I know, is that there’s a real personal psychological “dip” from 5 or 6 months post birth onwards throughout the toddler years. Most moms I’ve known who completely fell away from God’s purposes, often sadly found themselves in this place where their new perspective of “normal” didn’t fit in with the way they previously served in the Kingdom. This perspective seems incredibly real at the time, due to strong emotional influences. Most times I’ve seen this happen is for first time parents. However for some parents, the accumulative effects of two or three children eventually takes its toll on parents sadly may not be willing at that stage to receive God’s truth anymore, because she has neglected consistently realigning her perception with God’s perception-her new subjective perception of reality is very strong.

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Lifestyle

OF TRUST

“Worry is like a rocking chair - it keeps you busy but takes you nowhere!” Worry and anxiety is the opposite of trust and steals our peace. God wants you to move from worry and anxiety, to living a faith-filled life.

he good news is, this IS possible through the Spirit of God! The Bible says God did not give us a spirit of FEAR or TIMIDITY, but of power, love and a sound mind! The absolute starting point is to know that despite any circumstances whatsoever, God wants you to live life with a “sound mind”. God is interested in your mental health. When Jesus set us free, ALL illnesses were included in this, both physical and mental! Believe today that you can be that woman that taps into this and shatters the bondage and limitations of all anxious mindsets. If we do not recognise and rule it, anxiety is definitely something that will try to take hold of us throughout life. It is a response to what

“” IF ANXIETY AND WORRY IS LEFT TO RULE IN OUR MINDS, IT IS SURE TO CAUSE ILLNESS, LIMIT US AND KEEP US FROM OUR DESTINY...

we experience as stress or pressure. The irony is that the anxiety itself, stops us from accessing the faith we need to succeed. If anxiety and worry is left to rule in our minds, it is sure to cause illness, limit us and keep us from our destiny. Like most things, it comes in all shades of grey and is often so “normalised” in our life that we either don’t even recognise it, or know how to get rid of it. Jesus taught some important principles that form the premise for us uprooting all worry and embracing our nature of a “sound mind”. He understands how our imperfect human nature struggles to trust. That’s why He took lots of time to teach us to trust in Him for our provision and everything in our life.

Written by Pastor Karen Marias

#SHE EXPLOSION 71

In Luke 12:22 onwards, Jesus once again under the subjection of the Word. Genuine knows exactly where our weaknesses are as faith, is more than belief in God’s Word - it humans and tells us to stop our worrying. moves you to action. But TRUSTING Him, is He teaches us that all things are possible for almost on another level of faith. It’s the place those who believe. When it comes to living where we continuously REST in HIS finished free from worry, embracing this promise is work. It’s the place where we are in the calm very important! Trusting Jesus and taking Him eye of the storm; where we are in perfect at His Word is the challenge for many of us. peace despite our circumstances. It is truly We overcome this challenge by the power of a place of living in daily victory. In this place the Holy Spirit...and we can say what the power of OUR Shadrach, Meshag CHOICE! The Bible IT ALSO MEANS WE NEED TO STEP and Abednego said says: life and death OUT AND ACT AND DO WHAT GOD to King Nero of is set before us being thrown in the ASKED US, EVEN WHILST WE ARE choose life! At some fire: “We KNOW STILL AFRAID... point, as we build our God will come our relationship with through for us, but God and we get to even if He doesn’t, know what a good, unfailing God we serve we will still serve Him”. THEY KNEW God’s and that His promises are true concerning plans for them are GOOD. us, we need to step out into that realm of faith and BELIEVE that He holds our world in Peace destroys anxiety. Jesus says He gives His hands. We need to “let go and let God”, us peace - unlike the world gives. This is a resting in Him. supernatural kind of peace that transcends all understanding, guides our sound decision It also means we need to step out and act making and helps us enjoy life without and do what God asked us, even whilst constantly being limited. Who could do with we are still afraid. Freedom most often more of this? I certainly can! I truly believe only follows our action. Let’s say, freedom this is the answer to living life with a healthy follows embracing faith. The Bible says we mind and healthy body. live by faith, through faith. It’s all faith! We have the Helper, the Holy Spirit, to cheer us “The steadfast of mind you will keep in perfect on. He literally EMPOWERS us to do what peace, because he trusts in You.” Isaiah 26:3 we cannot do ourselves. But do you trust this is one of my favourite verses of all time Him? He wants you to! People will fail you that I have held onto and still do. There are multiple times, for sure - but the Bible says are so many - search for them in the Bible, He NEVER will. Another thing the world has hold onto them, act on them. You WILL long since recognised and embraced to curb enable change as you embrace them. I know anxiety, but we as Christians have failed to you are reading this today, because God do is utilise some stress techniques that has purposed you to be free for good from were originally founded in the Bible, such the limitations and side-effects that anxiety as meditation. It’s God’s original anti-stress imposes on you. Embrace your friends Faith plan for us to meditate on the Word of God. and Trust and they will lead you all the way! It says we should bring all our thoughts

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BIBLE VERSES FOR WHEN YOU’RE ANXIOUS OR STRESSED Provers 12:25 “Worry weighs a person down, but an encouraging word cheers a person up” “The steps of a man are established by the Lord and He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurdled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds his hand.” Psalm 37:23-24 “The steps of a man are established by the Lord and He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurdled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds his hand.” Psalm 62:5-8 “My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my glory rest; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.” Matthew 6:33-34 (verses that I have repeated to myself many times over) “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” 1 Peter 5:6-7 “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” Psalm 94:19 “When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.” Isaiah 35:4“ Say to those with an anxious heart, ‘Take courage, fear not. Behold, your God will come with vengeance; The recompense of God will come.’”

Romans 8:28 “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Zephaniah 3:17 ““The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Psalm 46:1-2 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea…..Be still and know that I am God.” Deuteronomy 33:27 “The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” John 14:18 “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” Hebrews 13:5 “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”” Psalm 56:3 “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Proverbs 16:20 “Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD.” #SHE EXPLOSION 73

THE SHAME OF ABUSE

In 2015 when I was 21 years old, I was raped by a man whom I had recently begun speaking with.

he depth of the fear, disgust, anger, and helplessness that followed in the aftermath was immense and sadly, I blamed myself for it.

family and friends, believing him when he said they were against me and it only got worse, leading to incidents that involved domestic violence. As with many women, my scars of abuse felt unique. I was confused about what was normal and used a variety of defence mechanisms to get through it.

I was so ashamed I didn’t even tell my closest friends or family for fear of rejection. It took me a very long time to finally open up about it. But when I did, it felt like a weight had In January 2016, two ladies from CRC been lifted off my shoulders. In the following approached me in Brixton during outreach. As months I was invited to CRC by my youngest I was familiar with CRC I didn’t mind visiting sister who was very again. I brought my excited about the relationship with church. I wasn’t me and struggled I WAS SO ASHAMED I DIDN’T entirely keen to to let go of it. My EVEN TELL MY CLOSEST FRIENDS attend but I decided leader at the time OR FAMILY FOR FEAR OF to go for her sake. sat me down and REJECTION... Thank God that I prompted me to turn did! I encountered away from it. It took an amazing presence and immediately I various meetings before I could trust God knew during the altar call that I had to give and understand that He placed godly my life to Christ. I was baptised during my leadership in my life for a reason. first Homecell where I experienced so many overwhelming emotions. It took faith as small as a mustard seed and a great amount of action for me to let go Unfortunately my flesh became my weakness and bury the pain and hurt that I had carried and I drifted back into the world and into around for so long but I gradually did, and my old ways and lifestyle. In the same year God delivered me from that. I can now write I met a guy who became my boyfriend. In and say that I don’t look back. I am forever the beginning I was warned to steer clear grateful for the leaders God placed in my by a number of people but I kept pursuing life and this amazing church! I am forever it. The abuse began subtly and rapidly grew grateful for how far God has brought me, into worse things. He was manipulative and through showing me His everlasting love controlled many aspects of my life. In the and grace. Written by Akasha Edward end I had no one. I turned my back on my

“”

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#SHEISFREE

“Girl - Jesus knows exactly what your circumstances are. He wants you to come to Him and learn that you can trust Him with all things. Make HIM your fulfilment, so you will not fall into default modes or traps when it comes to relationships. Planting yourself in church, is a golden key to your growth, healing and God’s future plans. The Lord says this of His chosen people and of YOU: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness”. Jeremiah31:3” - Pastor Karen

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RESOURCES

Suggested books for depression and anxiety

Dr Caroline Leaf Switch On Your Brain

Neil & Joane Anderson Overcoming Depression

Lisa Bevere Out of Control and Loving It

Joyce Meyer Battlefield of the Mind

John Bevere Breaking Intimidation

Jerusha Clark Living Beyond Postpartum Depression

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Neil Anderson Overcoming A Negative Self-Image

Joyce Meyer Beauty for Ashes

#SHESERVES

#SHE SERVES

She senses the worth of her work

- Proverbs 31:18

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SERVANTHOOD The heart of a true follower of Christ The Apostle Paul writes that our only REASONABLE life response to a loving God that made a way for salvation for us, is to give our lives over to serve Him and His purposes.

Romans 12:1 ‘I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.’

great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.’

he life of a true believer is the life of a servant. We first become a servant of God and then by extension a servant of all. Again, in Ephesians 6 the apostle Paul refers to us as ‘bondservants’/bond-slaves’ and when we study the root of this word in the Bible, it implies the serving of one who has been given his freedom from slavery but, who willingly ‘enslaves’ himself again to a master that he loves. It literally means to become a slave (to Christ), to give oneself up to another’s (God’s) will, and to devote oneself to another (our Lord) to the disregard of one’s own interest.

Wow! Jesus actually confounded all perceptions or beliefs about what ‘greatness’ or ‘leadership/influence’ was supposed to be, and modelled a life where true and lasting impact came from selflessly serving others. I believe that embracing a life of servanthood to God and others is to truly know Jesus! This ‘Jesus-kind-of-serving’ is the outflow of a humble servant heart and the fruit of such a servant attitude will manifest in many practical ways in the daily life of a believer. Let’s look at a few key areas to live out our servanthood and the blessing and reward that comes from such serving.

When we look at the life of Jesus it is clear that His distinctive quality, His heart attitude, and His total ‘modus operandi’ was His servanthood flowing from a humble servant’s heart. The Bible says that ‘the Son of Man’ (Jesus) did not come to be served, but to serve: Matt 20:25-28 ‘Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become 78 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

SERVING GOD John 12:25-27 ‘He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honour.’ God honors those who serve Him! SERVING OUR SPIRITUAL LEADERS Elisha served his leader Elijah, with menial

Serving our spiritual leaders is a sure way to access the anointing to fulfil God’s plans for our lives. SERVING OUR NEIGHBOURS Rebecca had a servant’s heart and while she was serving in her Father’s house (watering the camels), she also served a newcomer to the water well and through this task, God released her into a marriage with Abraham’s promised son Isaac. She became the mother of Jacob through whom all of God’s people find their origin Our servanthood can and will release us into our destiny. SERVING THE VISION OF THE LOCAL CHURCH Ruth served Naomi and her serving caught the attention of an influential man whom she eventually married. Marriage to Boaz secured a place for Ruth in the lineage of Jesus Christ, even though she was a gentile woman. I believe Ruth faithfully served Naomi because she knew that Naomi was her ‘connection’ to God (Naomi being a Jew whilst Ruth was a Gentile). Many years ago the Lord showed me how the church vision where God plants us is a ‘connection’ to our purpose and heritage in God. Serving the vision of your local church will unleash your purpose and ensure a rich spiritual inheritance. SERVING THE LOST The Apostle Paul taught that serving the lost would give us opportunities to win them to Jesus. 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 ‘Even though

I am free of the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized—whoever. I didn’t take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ—but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I’ve become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a Godsaved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn’t just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it!’ SERVING OTHERS WITH OUR GIFT The Bible makes it so clear that God gives us certain talents to be of service to others! 1 Peter 4:10 ‘Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.’ In practice, this means if your talent is singing, you should be serving others by joining the worship team in your church. If your gift is administration, you should be sharing your gift to help the Kingdom advance by lightening the church’s admin burden, etc. Your gift will make a way for you, i.e. you will find your specific purpose in building up the body of Christ by serving others with your gift! Dear #She-mazing woman of God, the heart of serving is to do everything that you are given to do as unto God and not to men. Whether you are loving your husband, nurturing your children, taking responsibility for a ministry in your local church, your service is all to God and He is the one who rewards you. Serving is a pathway to greatness and all of the greatest men and women of God in the Bible were called servants of God. Join their ranks by becoming a servant! Written by Pastor Ninette Heyneke

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#SHESERVES

tasks like making sure he had food at meal times, washing his clothes and assisting him in all things as a personal assistant would. As a reward, he received great Kingdom responsibility and double the anointing of one of the most powerful prophets that ever lived!

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ENOUGH

to go around...

My name is Sarah and I have been at CRC London for over two years. I first started to go to prayer meetings every Monday and that’s when my life changed.

started to have a recurring dream about Over time, more and more people would two people sitting outside a shop, near turn up and I was concerned that the food a train station. One day en-route to I was giving would not stretch so far but like work, I felt or heard the Holy Spirit tell Jesus did with the loaves and fishes, there me to get off the bus. I tried to explain that was always enough to go around. I would be late for work but that conviction didn’t leave me. Even though I was worried After a time I spoke with my leader and about being late for my pastor and we work, I knew that decided to see if IT STARTED WITH A it was the voice of any of the food COMMITMENT TO PRAYER God, so I got off the chains would donate FOLLOWED BY A DREAM AND A bus. Once off the unwanted food for DECISION TO OBEY... bus, it was like I was this cause. We had in my dream; I saw one food chain that the same two people sitting right outside the was willing to help and now every Thursday shop next to the train station. they give us all their leftover food so we can distribute it to the homeless in the I knew I had to talk to them so I approached community. them. They told me they were homeless and had been for six years. As our conversation It started with a commitment to prayer, progressed, I wondered if they were hungry followed by a dream and a decision to obey. so I asked them if they would like some food That’s all God needs from us; our obedience and went to get some for them. Through our to do what He is asking us to do. conversations I knew that God wanted to Written by Sarah Davidson help them so I carried on meeting with them on a weekly basis and taking food to them.

“”

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#SHESERVES

“HERE I AM LORD, USE ME!” “When we pray this, are we really prepared to feel the heartbeat of Jesus? Are we open for Him speaking and guiding us to trust Him? We hope this short testimony by Sarah will inspire you to follow that stirring to be His hands and feet.” - Pastor Karen

TAKE

Charge 15 Short cuts to maximize your time

and live your life to the full.

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EARLY BIRD CATCHES THE WORM

EXERCISE IN THE MORNING

Wake up earlier (if you are not a sleepdeprived mum). Getting up just one hour earlier every day will add over 15 days to your ‘productive’ time in a year and if you do your own calculation, you will realise how much time is wasted with unnecessary snoozing. If you struggle to get up, distance yourself from the alarm. If you can’t resist hitting snooze, try moving the alarm clock across the room so you’re forced to get out of bed to turn it off. There are all kinds of creative, wacky alarm clocks that will fly away, roll around the room, or even force you to put a puzzle together before they stop blaring.

02 START THE NIGHT BEFORE The best time to get a jump on the day is the night before and taking a few moments to focus on the following day, pays off. Whether you are working or a stay-home-mum, there are many things you can prepare in the evening before you go to bed to ensure you hit the ground running in the morning: Pick out what you’re going to wear the next day. Prepare your breakfast. Pack your lunch. Pack your kids’ lunch! Pack your laptop and accessories. Charge your gadgets. Review your to-do list and identify your top must-do activities for the next day

For most of us if exercise does not happen first thing in the morning, it will probably not happen at all. It’s been shown that exercising in the morning can greatly improve your productivity. Exercise energizes rather than exhausts you, contrary to what the couch potatoes might tell you - not that we are judging; we can be very spud-tacular ourselves at times! Exercising also promotes good health, and some studies have shown that exercise can improve your mood for up to 12 hours following your workout. Less stress, more efficiency--it’s worth setting that alarm 30 minutes earlier. A ground-breaking and fascinating investigation into the transformative effects of exercise on the brain, found that aerobic exercise physically remodels our brains for peak performance. Read the book ‘Spark’ by the bestselling author and renowned psychiatrist John J. Ratey, MD.

04 BUY THAT AUTOMATIC COFFEE MACHINE Savour the aroma. It’s been proven: The simple act of smelling your morning coffee can help lower stress. Don’t overdo it with your coffee intake though too much caffeine is bad for your health.

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05 THE POWER OF PLANNING AND MASTERING YOUR WORKFLOW You have probably heard the saying before: Proper Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance. Planning is arguably the most crucial part of taking charge of your time and life, but planning alone is not going to make you Superman or Wonder Woman. You must also master your workflow. Follow this process to take charge of your work and execute your plans: COLLECTING YOUR WORK Collecting all your work together and getting everything out of your head is the first stage of mastering your workflow. Get one place (we call it an ‘In-Basket’) that can be anything from a notebook, spreadsheet, app or online tool. By gathering everything together like this, you don’t need to actively try and remember to do things. Instead you’re collecting it so it can be put into a system that will do the reminding for you. This also clears your mind to be more creative. PROCESSING YOUR WORK Processing your work is all about taking everything from your in-baskets and working out what needs to be done with those items. Mastering this step of the process allows you to prioritise tasks and empty your in-basket (including your inbox) without necessarily having to do any work. Not all items in your in-basket are actions for you to do. Some will form part of larger projects, others won’t require action, but archiving. Some you will do, some you will defer, and some you must delegate! 84 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

ORGANISING YOUR WORK Once you’ve processed your work using the above system, it’s time to get organised and get the stuff where it needs to be to be of use. For all of the non-actionable stuff from above, you can organise these items into one of the following areas: Someday/Maybe – things to come back to at a later date. Reference – Useful things that don’t require any action, but may come in handy later. Trash – Shift-delete! You don’t need any more clutter in your life. Projects & Project Plans - A project is literally anything with more than two action steps that need to be completed. Calendar - Deferred work that is time sensitive goes on your calendar to be completed at a specific time. Next Actions - Any deferred work that isn’t time sensitive goes onto your “next actions” list. These are the items you will do in your spare time. REVIEWING YOUR WORK Once you’ve organised everything so it’s in the right place, it’s important that you review your lists above on a regular basis. It’s likely that you’ll refer to your calendar first as this will play a big part in your day. Then the other lists as needed. DOING YOUR WORK It’s now time to do some work! Based on your review you will be able to decide on what to do.

SET DEADLINES FOR EVERY TASK IN YOUR DAY

KNOW WHAT TO PRIORITISE ON THOSE CRAZY DAYS

Ever heard of ‘Parkinson’s Law’, a theory that simply states that ‘work contracts to fit in the time we give it’. Test it! You will soon realise that whether you give yourself 1 hour or 30 minutes to write that report or wash the pile of dishes, you will complete the same task in the timeframe you gave yourself.

When you have a lot of things on your plate, use President Eisenhower’s Urgent/ Important Matrix, which identifies which tasks and activities you should focus on first.

Also, ‘making the deadline’ for the task, gives you a sense of accomplishment that motivates you to get more of the tasks on your list done. Use a timer to force yourself to beat the clock for each of your tasks. www.e.ggtimer.com

07 EAT THAT FROG FIRST Mark Twain once said, “Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” Successful people do not take chances, they take action and get the tough assignments done first. One of our favourite books on productivity is ‘Eat That Frog’ by self-help guru Brian Tracy. The main idea behind the book is that if you do your most important task (MIT) first thing in the morning, the rest of the day is going to be easy in comparison

09 FOCUS Do you know the number one reason that stops people from getting what they want and to achieve? It is a lack of focus. Multi-tasking is a myth and can reduce your productivity with up to 40% according to behavioural psychologist Susan Weinschenk. Your brain cannot do more than one task at a time. Multitasking is just switching between different tasks. Your ability to concentrate and focus is directly proportional to your ability to eliminate distractions and distraction is created by mismanaged commitments. Avoid distractions by setting clear goals and going ‘offline’ for a while. From blocking out distracting websites to tracking how much time you spend surfing the web, many apps can actually help you stay focused and you can therefore use technology to your advantage. Read Cal Newport’s book ‘Deep Work’ for more on this subject.

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HAVE STANDING MEETINGS

DOUBLE UP ON TASKS/ USE YOUR COMMUTE & ‘DOWNTIME’ WISELY

If your work requires lots of meetings, try ‘standing meetings’. That’s right, no chairs! Experiments have shown that meeting times can be cut down by over 33% in this way and those attending are more alert and focused to get the job done. There is a widely-believed theory among productivity researchers that even some of the most difficult decisions/conclusions can be reached within a maximum of 20 minutes, so long unproductive meetings are really not a good use of anyone’s time. Don’t forget to try this method even with your husband, when important family decisions need to be made but life just seems too busy. For the Crossfitters amongst us, why not try planking meetings? Quickest meetings ever! LOL!

Do some tasks while you travel to work. If you’re on the train you can check your emails or read through a report. If you are driving you can make hands-free phone calls. This saves you time once you arrive at the office. Listen to educational audio books while you’re driving to work, cleaning the house, ironing, exercising, or cooking dinner. Audio learning has the power to add hours to your day. Not to mention, your cranium is sure to thank you for it.

13 THE OF POWER OF READING

11 TEAM UP AND MOVE UP If you want to move to a new level of accomplishment in an area, or build a new good habit, it helps to team up with a partner or friend or even a group of friends. It adds motivation and an automatic level of accountability that helps you to keep the discipline, because others are on board with you. Examples are teaming up with a gym buddy or a prayer partner. A lot of excuses are eliminated in this way.

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A 2009 study from the University of Essex revealed that reading for as little as six minutes a day can reduce stress levels by up to 68%. Another big benefit from cracking open a good book on a nightly basis is that it can improve the long term health of your brain. The same study showed that people who stimulated their minds through activities like reading, reduced cognitive decline by an average of 32% as they got older in age. Every time you read, it’s like a mental workout for your mind. Reading Tip: When you’re reading a book, just read the parts that you need and skip the rest!

14 CREATE A BREAK AGENDA / REWARD YOURSELF Our days are constantly bombarded with messages from social media, emails, text messages etc. Without realising it, our productivity can be affected by the constant disruption of the distractions coming from our phones, tablets and laptops. Build a habit of creating a reward system for yourself by creating a ‘break agenda’ in your schedule every day. List all the things you want to do on your break, be it surfing the web for new fashion or hairstyle ideas, checking your emails, snacking, scrolling through your social media pages like Facebook/ Twitter—list everything. Squeeze these in 20 minute ‘break’ times in your daily schedule between work tasks or after accomplishing your biggest task of the day. The difference will be that you ONLY use this time, i.e. 20 minutes and every other work tasks will be done quicker and more effective as you will focus and not allow interruptions. Eventually, you’ll take your break minutes wisely and enjoy it to the max, while being able to return to your schedule and focus on getting the rest of your tasks done.

15 DO MAKE SURE TO SCHEDULE ‘ME’ TIME In a busy life what doesn’t get scheduled, doesn’t get done. This counts for selfcare and relaxation. And even time to think and dream! “I don’t have enough time” is one of the most common reasons used by people who are struggling to engage in self-care on a regular basis. It may sound strange but one certain way to create time for self-care is to schedule it as a task. Create a gap in your calendar once a week and schedule an appointment called “selfcare time”. Then, most importantly, stick to it, without feeling guilty. Make sure to schedule ‘free’ time in your weekly planner for relaxation, thinking and dreaming, without interruptions. If you have scheduled this time as if it was a task, you are not likely to feel as if you are falling behind on work while you are dreaming, as all your task would already be in your calendar. It’s amazing how much your life will be enriched by making time to actively dream about your future.

Co-written by Pastor Ninette Heyneke & Isabel Engelbrecht

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#SHE IS EMPOWERED

Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all

- Proverbs 31:29

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PRAYER

There is so much to say about prayer and the power thereof. There are so many books on prayer out there, but the main thing I would like to touch on is what makes a prayer powerful? Otherwise we can pray for hours, with no effect.

WHAT ADDS THE POWER TO PRAYER? There is so many different ways of praying and different types of prayer but the thing we are after desperately is a POWERFUL prayer, and the only way our prayers will be powerful is if we pray God’s way, not ours. The disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray; ‘Now it came to pass, as He was praying in a certain place, when He ceased, that one of His disciples said to Him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples.” Luke 11:1. To find out how to pray God’s way, we’ll have to study the Word. Let’s start with the following verse: James 5:16 ‘Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much’. The amplified version elaborates on this even more: ‘Therefore, confess your sins to one another [your false steps, your offenses], and pray for one another, that you may be healed and restored. The heartfelt and persistent prayer of a righteous man (believer) can accomplish much [when put into action and made effective by God—it is dynamic and can have tremendous power]. So prayer has power when God puts actions and effects to our prayers. He adds the power. Without Him a prayer is powerless but, prayer in collaboration with Him produces results. That is the kind

of prayer we would like to experience in our lives – effective and dynamic prayers that have tremendous power and avail much! Explosive prayers in other words. Let’s “dissect” this verse to see what advice God gives us to accomplish this explosion, to enable Him to add the dynamite to our prayers: HEARTFELT – THE FIRST SECRET Definition of heartfelt – a feeling or expression, deeply and strong felt; sincere, genuine and from our hearts. A great example of this is Hannah, Elkanah’s wife. 1 Samuel 1:10 ‘Hannah was greatly distressed, and she prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish’. 1 Samuel 1:13-15 ‘Hannah was speaking in her heart (mind); only her lips were moving, and her voice was not heard, so Eli thought she was drunk. Eli said to her, “How long will you make yourself drunk? Get rid of your wine.” But Hannah answered, “No, my lord, I am a woman with a despairing spirit. I have not been drinking wine or any intoxicating drink, but I have poured out my soul before the Lord’. Hannah was desperate for a child. She prayed a heartfelt and emotional prayer (greatly distressed, in anguish). She poured her soul out to the Lord. It was not a superficial prayer. She spoke directly from her heart. She was absolutely desperate, #SHE EXPLOSION 89

#SHEISEMPOWERED

THE POWER OF

distressed and in anguish. This kind of prayer moves God to action. It moves Him to bring explosion and deliverance. To bring change and blessing. Due to this prayer, Hannah was blessed with her greatest heart’s desire, a child. PERSISTENT – THE SECOND SECRET Definition of persistent - continuing firmly or obstinately in an opinion or course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition. Matthew 7:7 ‘Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you’. So for God to add power to our prayer, we have to continue firmly, obstinately in spite of difficulty or opposition. We keep asking till it has manifested and we have seen the desired results. We pray without ceasing till we see the POWER (1 Thessalonians 5:17). We should have an “obstinate” mind-set that we will not give up or stop no matter how much resistance we experience. Elijah is a great example of a man who persisted in prayer; 1 Kings 18:41 – 1 90 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

Kings 19:8 ‘Then Elijah said to Ahab, “Go get something to eat and drink, for I hear a mighty rainstorm coming!” So Ahab went to eat and drink. But Elijah climbed to the top of Mount Carmel and bowed low to the ground and prayed with his face between his knees. Then he said to his servant, “Go and look out toward the sea.”The servant went and looked, then returned to Elijah and said, “I didn’t see anything.” Seven times Elijah told him to go and look. Finally the seventh time, his servant told him, “I saw a little cloud about the size of a man’s hand rising from the sea.” Then Elijah shouted, “Hurry to Ahab and tell him, ‘Climb into your chariot and go back home. If you don’t hurry, the rain will stop you!’ And soon the sky was black with clouds. A heavy wind brought a terrific rainstorm, and Ahab left quickly for Jezreel. Then the Lord gave special strength to Elijah. He tucked his cloak into his belt and ran ahead of Ahab’s chariot all the way to the entrance of Jezreel.’ Elijah Flees to Sinai. When Ahab got home, he told Jezebel everything Elijah had done, including the way he had killed all the prophets of Baal. So Jezebel sent this message to Elijah:

Where we see how he persisted in prayer – for rain in a time of drought and despite not seeing results, he persevered and on the seventh time of praying God delivered. Even though it was only a small cloud to start off with, it turned into a “terrific rain storm”. He had faith and acted as if it was already a terrific storm whilst it was only a small cloud. He knew what God could do. He knew the result of prayer and God produced the storm – the POWER, EXPLOSION as a result of his persistent prayers. He stood on the promises in John 16:23-24 that whatever we ask for in His name, we shall receive. We should have the same obstinate persistence and faith to see explosion in our lives. A RIGHTEOUS MAN (OR WOMAN IN OUR CASE) – THE THIRD SECRET Definition of righteous (Webster) - Acting in accord with divine or moral law: free from guilt or sin. Being in right-standing with God. Here we see that we need to be in righteous

“” ...LET’S PRAY EMOTIONAL PRAYERS FROM THE DEPTHS OF OUR HEARTS, AND PERSIST IN PRAYING AND ASKING THE LORD TILL WE HAVE SEEN THE POWER...

standing with God for him to add the dynamite to our prayers. We have to be in a real, intimate relationship with Him. This way we will also know that our prayers are truly His will for our lives and that He is faithful to deliver His promises because He loves us. This is also where the Holy Spirit plays an integral part. Romans 8:26 ‘Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groaning’s which cannot be uttered.’ We see how the Holy Spirit helps us to pray, we also need the Holy Spirit to be in right standing with the Lord. He also gives us the ability to pray a heartfelt and persistent prayer, which we cannot accomplish out of our own strength. The Holy Spirit adds the spark that starts the explosion. The Holy Spirit adds the power. He brings the fire. Our prayers will be powerless, lifeless and dead without the Holy Spirit. He is God’s hand on heart. He is God’s power here on earth. I realise that is a mouthful and can sound quite complex, so to put it in simple terms; let’s pray emotional prayers from the depths of our hearts…and persist in praying and asking the Lord until we have seen the POWER and desired results. Let’s not forget that these prayers need to flow from a deep, intimate relationship with the Lord and the Holy Spirit and yes, let’s trust the Lord for amazing powerful, life-changing, soulwinning and explosive prayers in our lives! As we do our bit, God does His! Written by Anso Swart #SHE EXPLOSION 91

#SHEISEMPOWERED

“May the gods strike me and even kill me if by this time tomorrow I have not killed you just as you killed them.” Elijah was afraid and fled for his life. He went to Beersheba, a town in Judah, and he left his servant there. Then he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.” Then he lay down and slept under the broom tree. But as he was sleeping, an angel touched him and told him, “Get up and eat!” He looked around and there beside his head was some bread baked on hot stones and a jar of water! So he ate and drank and lay down again. Then the angel of the Lord came again and touched him and said, “Get up and eat some more, or the journey ahead will be too much for you.” So he got up and ate and drank, and the food gave him enough strength to travel forty days and forty nights to Mount Sinai, the mountain of God’.

Growing into God-focussed

MINDSETS

As a christian, God enables us to replace our own self-limiting and self-focussed ways of thinking, for a God-focussed approach.

John said: “I must decrease so He may increase”. We live in a self-absorbed society where everyone more and more does what serves their own interests. “Do what you want”, as the Satanic Bible slogan states. Jesus leads us in

a way that is very different from this-a life lived for Him and others, through a beautiful surrender and heart of trust. Check out some of these mindsets below and double check if you discern the fine line between self vs surrendered. Written by Pastor Karen Marias

DECISION MAKING: SELF-FOCUSED VS GOD-FOCUSED Where should I go for my growth?

I’m just not getting... I don’t fit here/I don’t like it...

I just don’t see/feel...

Things should change...

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What have I been growing in God’s Kingdom where He planted me? Where do You want me Lord? What am I giving where I am positioned? My decisions are not based on my feelings. I fit into His Perfect Plan! That’s my compass. I’m not guided by fleshly/cultural comfort. What does God see/feel? I need to make sure what I see/feel aligns with Him. I AM the change! Start with me Lord! If God shows me something, He wants me to pray. He will change either my perception, or the problem!

I don’t think I agree.

Where can I bless/serve more? God sees me. That’s all that counts! When He promotes me, it will be at the right time and I will have the character to sustain it. I lay down my opinions to come into agreement with God. My opinions are not more important than the Word. I am a WORD lover.

God surely can’t be in these circumstances..

Not all circumstances are from God but He allows it. He empowers us to either change it or overcome it. His ways are higher than mine. I trust in Him. I won’t move unless He tells me to move.

I don’t like the pressure.

Pressure forges character by shifting out the weak, the fallible and replacing it with faith. I surrender and grow by faith. I learn to walk in peace under pressure.

I’m not bearing fruit, because my season in this place is over.

What am I going to do about this?

You will bear fruit in season and out of season when you’re rooted in Me. I take you from glory to glory. Check your roots! What does God want me to do about this? What does His Word and His Spirit say?

God is moving me onto new opportunities.

God may be in these opportunities, but He will test my willingness to walk in integrity and faith. God does not compromise on His own Word (principles). I discern by the Spirit that not all opportunities are from God.

God gave me this dream and He wouldn’t expect me to ignore it.

God tested all men and women in the Word, to see if they willing to lay down the dream / promise. When God resurrects something in His time, it will be far more significant than my efforts! Unless a seed falls to the ground and dies, it cannot bear fruit.

I’ve never seen it done like this before, so I don’t believe it’s from God.

I won’t be foolish by making hasty decisions. I discern by the Spirit, through the Word. #SHE EXPLOSION 93

#SHEISEMPOWERED

People don’t see my gifting.

MIND VS FATIH

Sometimes in our journey with God, it seems as if faith and reasoning/ our mind are in conflict.

might be going gave birth to a son, Isaac, in their old age and through a difficult received all of God’s promises concerning or even impossible their son: situation and our fellow Christians may encourage us to just ‘believe’ SARAH that everything will turn out okay...as if Hebrews 11:11 ‘By faith Sarah received the faith should take over and we should ‘leave ability to conceive [a child], even [when she was behind’ our mind. long] past the normal In reality, according age for it, because to the Bible, faith she considered Him IF WE FEED OUR NEGATIVE and reason work who had given her EMOTIONS THEY CAN KILL OUR together powerfully the promise to be FAITH... to help us know and reliable and true [to love our God and His word].’ receive from Him all that He promises to us. SARAH’S REASONING ABOUT WHO GOD WAS ENABLED HER TO HAVE This apparent conflict between faith and FAITH IN HIM. the ‘reasonable’ mind troubles many people Even though she understood the reality but, when we look at these concepts from of her barrenness, she considered (she a biblical context, any apparent conflict reasoned) God to be greater than her issue disappears. Yes, we are to have good and she believed His promise. reasons for what we believe, and we are also to have faith. Without the latter, we could ABRAHAM not have the former and vice versa! In actual Hebrews 11:17-19 ‘By faith Abraham, when fact, reasoning enables our faith if it has its he was tested [that is, as the testing of his faith source in the right ‘mind’. was still in progress], offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises [of God] was In Hebrews 11, the great Bible chapter on ready to sacrifice his only son [of promise]; to faith, we read about the many heroes of whom it was said, “THROUGH ISAAC YOUR faith. Here we find examples like Abraham DESCENDANTS SHALL BE CALLED.” For and Sarah who miraculously conceived and he considered [it reasonable to believe] that

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ABRAHAM’S REASONING ABOUT WHO GOD WAS ENABLED HIM TO BELIEVE HIM. Although it seem unimaginable, he was willing to physically kill Isaac in obedience to God’s instruction, knowing (reasoning) that God could raise the dead. So, Abraham and Sarah demonstrate that our mind and our faith should work together. The key here is to have the RIGHT mind. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 2:16 that a bornagain believer has the mind of Christ. That means we have the option to align our minds with the Christ in us who is full of grace and truth and who believes in a great God who loves us and who is faithful and true to His Word and for whom nothing is ever impossible. However, we constantly have a choice between giving into our old carnal/fleshly mind or this new spiritual mind of Christ. Romans 8:6 states that ‘to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace’. So we always have a choice to reason according to our spiritual mind which will lead us to great faith and see God move in our lives despite certain ‘realities’ of our current circumstances. Or we can give into a carnal unbelieving mind that chooses to believe that our circumstances are greater than our God and that He is not able to help us. It is important to see that the Bible never encourages us to be in denial about our issues or circumstances but it teaches us to believe (by reason of who God is) in a God that is more powerful than our problem and who will always lead us in victory over our situation. So a spiritual, believing mind empowers and enables our faith.

Ladies, one last note here on emotions or shall I say ‘#She-motions’! Let’s take a note from Sarah’s book. Surely, after a lifetime of barrenness, she could have given into hopelessness, discouragement or any number of emotions, but NO! She considered God, who had given her the promise (of a child) to be reliable and true [to His word]. Our emotions are fickle and rarely line up with the truth of a great God. If we feed our negative emotions they can become overwhelming and actually kill our faith. Really, a carnal mind, will enable all sorts of negative emotions. That’s why the Bible says to ‘renew our minds’ so we can ‘transform’ our lives. Always choose a spiritual mind…it leads to life! I believe that God really challenged Sarah early on about her emotions/carnal mind/ unbelief in order to show her that He would not respond to that, but rather to her faith. Read this scene in Genesis 18:13-15 ‘Then the LORD said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh? Why did she say, ‘Can an old woman like me have a baby?’ Is anything too hard for the LORD? I will return about this time next year, and Sarah will have a son.” Sarah was afraid, so she denied it, saying, “I didn’t laugh.” But the LORD said, “No, you did laugh.” I think Sarah had a realisation in this moment that God was not going to tolerate her negative emotions and disbelief! I am pretty sure she quickly got those emotions under control and started believing God and eventually became the faith hero described in Hebrews 11. #Shemazing lady, have the mind of Christ and believe Him for greater things in and through your life! He is God and He is faithful. Written by Pastor Ninette Heyneke

#SHE EXPLOSION 95

#SHEISEMPOWERED

God was able to raise Isaac even from among the dead. [Indeed, in the sense that he was prepared to sacrifice Isaac in obedience to God] Abraham did receive him back [from the dead] figuratively speaking.’

#SHEISEMPOWERED

Knowing your true

IDENTITY

ho am I? What is my purpose? Am I pretty enough? Am I worthy to be loved? Am I good enough for God to use me? I have many times been at a place in my life where questions such as the above have played in my mind and I can only praise God for the phenomenal work He has done in my life and continues to do. My identity – an area in which God has given me much breakthrough and continues to as I continue my daily walk with the Holy Spirit.

was looking for the answers in the wrong place. I had to realise that my true identity lies in Jesus. He is the One and only person that can fill the void we have in our lives and answer all the questions we ponder upon.

The word teaches us in Genesis 1:27 ‘So God created man in His own image, in the image and likeness of God He created him’. Powerful! John 1:1 says: ‘The beginning [before all-time] was the Word (Christ), and the Word was with God, and the Word was God Himself’. The Word is God. I read that the I want to quote a Bible said I’m made few lines I once in the Image of God APPROVAL OF MAN WAS SO read in a book: “In and that the Word IMPORTANT FOR MY SELFlife we can become represents God; so CONFIDENCE AND MY IDENTITY like actresses. We put to know my true BECAME ROOTED IN WHAT on false masks and identity I have to PEOPLE SAID... become who we think find out who Jesus we need to be to give the pinup performance. is through His Word and fellowship with the We adapt to a fake identity, a new persona. We Holy Spirit. take on an identity of what we believe people will love. We have a deep desire and longing The Holy Spirit makes the Word alive to us for acceptance and love and we go after the as Hebrews 4:12 says: ‘For the word of God approval of man, rather than God.” is alive and active’. The book of James talks about God’s Word as a mirror which leads to There was a time in my life where I could blessing and freedom. This is the one thing very much relate to the above. Approval Satan does not want us to have! He comes of man was so important for my selfto steal and destroy the Word of God from confidence and my identity became rooted our lives, but praise God in Him we have the in what people said and did, and that left Victory! me very disappointed. I was wearing a mask to protect myself from hurt and shame. It is vital to recognise when your belief Feelings of low self-esteem, worthlessness system about yourself is wrong. God’s Word and anxiety never disappeared because I is like a mirror, the more time you spend in

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#SHEBELIEVES

the Word (the mirror of life) the more you will recognise where you have incorrect beliefs and mindsets about yourself. Once you recognise the lie, it’s important to counteract that lie, belief and mindset with the truth, which you find in the word. If you believe that you cannot take on a challenge in your life – that is a false reflection because the Bible says in Philippians 4:13 ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me’ Be intentional about counteracting that wrong belief with the truth. When I’ve had those feelings of being unloved and unworthy, I’ve had to ask myself; “But what do you say God?” Luke 12:7; ‘Indeed the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not be afraid; you are far more valuable than many sparrows’ and the Psalmist wrote in Psalm 139 ‘I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful’ The Word of God brings truth and sets us free from wrong beliefs and mindsets. My true identity is not in what people believe or say, but in what God says. My identity is who He says I am. I’ve had to learn and still do daily, how to see myself through the eyes of God’s Word.

#SHE BELIEVES

She is clothed with strength and dignity

- Proverbs 31:25

Written by Meggie de Bruin #SHE EXPLOSION 97

Fertility challenges but filled

WITH HOPE “One of the biggest and most painful struggles we can face as women, is the issue of “childlessness”. I prefer not to call it barrenness, as God declares us fruitful and it’s something we then confess over ourselves constantly. I have gone through several miscarriages in my life and even in that relatively short time-span, I realised that fear and despair could easily grip me if I didn’t turn to God. We could even feel ashamed, cursed, or unloved by God. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I do believe with all my heart God has created us women to bear children, but we live in a fallen world and know in part and see in part. I believe our job is to really stand and pray with our sisters that are currently in this season in their lives for

God to give them peace, breakthrough and trust with them to the END for children. We know that God is a God of the impossible. We also may think that it’s impossible to cope with our situation, but He gives us strength for all things and as you walk through it, He is with you. There are many testimonies of women miraculously falling pregnant against “all medical odds”. But what if you’re not one of them yet? We have asked Heline to share her beautiful but challenging journey so far, so we can really understand the reality she is facing. Heline, you are such an example and pillar of faith to us. Thank you for your honesty! We want to tell you that we trust with you EVERY STEP of the way! You are not alone! Breakthrough in Jesus Name!” - Pastor Karen

#SHEstandsinAGREEMENT “I’ll be honest, when I was asked to share this, I wasn’t sure what to say or how it would be of help to anyone. However, I want to be truthful in hopes of encouraging someone else in their journey, whilst I am on mine. You are not alone!

“”

husband and I have been trying to have children for almost 11

we childless when we long to have a child to love, and all the while girls fall pregnant after a drunken night out and abort their baby a few weeks years now. It’s been after? Some months IT FEELS LIKE I’M JUST THIS very hard and I’ve I would have so BROKEN USELESS PERSON THAT reached a point much faith, but then CANNOT MULTIPLE... where it consumed the same pregnancy me. Every month I tests would fail me would do ovulation and pregnancy tests. once again. Everything about being childless Every month I would cry in the bathroom, hurts. Talking about it hurts. Hearing about staring at the negative test in my hands. ladies falling pregnant hurts. Hearing ladies Crying to God, “Why, why, why?” Why are complain about how heavy their pregnant 98 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

As I’m writing this I can feel a migraine coming on. I think it’s just because it brings up a lot of emotions. Not just the fact that we don’t have children, but other questions too. I keep wondering if I’m good enough? Or am I doing something wrong? I’m following every godly principle; I’m giving and serving, but still I’m childless. All these questions and emotions of not feeling good enough, like you are a fruitless and a dry person. It’s so, so hard. It makes me question myself and my relationship with God. I know I should have faith that moves mountains and be all prayed up, but it’s not that easy. I’ve tried to change my mindset many times. I try to focus on the positive things and we have so much to be grateful for. But often I feel I cannot be bothered. Like what is the point? Nothing is changing so why pray? Why have faith? It’s not working anyway… It feels like I’m just this broken useless person that cannot multiply. It’s very frustrating. I often feel like giving up and find myself having to ask God for forgiveness. I want to have faith that moves mountains, who doesn’t? I don’t know why we are not blessed with children, but I know I must force myself to have faith and spend time in the Word even if I don’t want to. I must declare that God is good and faithful and that His Word never returns void. I pray that God will forgive me for not having faith and for doubting Him. I pray that the Holy Spirit will lead me to fresh waters and that He will fill me and I pray that my faith will grow stronger.

of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.” I don’t have a magic answer for you. But if you are struggling with the same things, I know how you feel. Don’t give up. I’m still struggling with this every day. Always have hope. God enables us to have hope against all hope. Build your faith, love others, and don’t allow the devil to steal your joy. These are words I must declare over myself every day. I declare the same over you today! “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7 - after Paul says we should REJOICE in all circumstances. Written by Heline Bekker

A scripture close to my heart is 1 Peter 1:69 It says: “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness #SHE EXPLOSION 99

#SHEBELIEVES

bellies are, hurts. Seeing families with kids, hurts. Not being invited to baby showers, hurts. Being excluded from family fun days because you are childless, hurts. Even praying about it hurts.

Dealing with the disappointment of

MISCARRIAGE “Having had a few miscarriages, the biggest shock of the first miscarriage is that you NEVER thought it would happen to you. In fact, most women who fall pregnant are unaware of the statistic that 25% of known pregnancies, end up in miscarriage. Adding to frustration, there are no clear answers as to why, although we know we live in a fallen world and have imperfect bodies. If it then happens recurrently, all fears and disappointment want to grip your heart!

I experienced that I was instantly connected to the little life inside of me from day one after finding out I was pregnant. A pregnancy carries hopes, dreams and excitement so when miscarriage happens, we can be devastated as women, even though many others won’t understand it. As Andrea testifies of her experience, God really is with us - even when things don’t make sense in that season of our lives! This is a story of faith in testing or tough times”. - Pastor Karen

I always thought I had faith until my faith was actually tested! It’s in the testing and hard times that your faith is built up.

fter getting married, Stephen and I the miscarriage. We fell pregnant again two weren’t in any rush to have children years later and I was sure that this was it! Our but were fortunate enough to fall family was starting and I was even more excited pregnant quite quickly. I was so than with the first pregnancy. happy and yet overwhelmed all at the same time. Excitement quickly builds up as you plan I really trusted God for a healthy pregnancy how your life is going and started declaring to be as a family and a healthy womb and THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE WAS Mother but, that came pregnancy everyday. REALLY DEVASTATING, NOT ONLY to a sudden stop We had faith that God THE PHYSICAL EXPERIENCE BUT with an unfortunate would take us through EMOTIONALLY AND SPIRITUALLY miscarriage. The the whole pregnancy TOO... whole experience was and we would see really devastating, not this little baby in nine only the physical experience but emotionally months! Sadly, not even two weeks after I found and spiritually too. I didn’t have much out I was pregnant, I started miscarrying whilst information or know many people (if any) Dr Rodney Howard Browne was visiting CRC at that time that had gone through this, so I London in the Indigo and we were having the started studying the Word to see what God Revival services. I decided that I was still going says about children and the womb. to go to every meeting and continue ushering I was not going to let Satan steal from us again! I was eventually comforted through scriptures Unfortunately by the Sunday evening I had to as well as by very loving and encouraging go to hospital and it was the same experience leaders, and through that I eventually got over and pain as the first time.

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Written by Andrea Ridgely

“Tough times don’t last, but tough people do” we’ve heard this so many times but when we go through a huge disappointment or struggle in life, that can seem difficult to believe! Yet our God is a good God, who will never leave us or forsake us! He is GOOD, yes He is! Believe that today.

I couldn’t believe it; lying in the hospital this was now the second time that Satan had stolen from us. I was sure that God was going to intervene, but we left there that evening with no pregnancy and I felt really empty. I was devastated and couldn’t understand how this could be possible especially when I was really trusting God for this pregnancy to be healthy and had prayed and spoken life everyday. Still, we know that there is a very real enemy that comes to steal, kill and destroy. Some time after this happened, I made a decision that I was not going to worry or put all my focus on having a baby. I was really going to put my faith in God and I was not going to let a day pass by that I would worry about my next pregnancy. I knew He would choose the perfect time for us. I did practical things like eat healthy and take lots of vitamins and within four months after the second miscarriage I fell pregnant again and this time I KNEW, I just knew that we would see our baby in nine months’ time! I didn’t doubt it for one second. There were times when I was cautious, but I had a confidence and when it came to my scans they showed

It’s good in tough times not to become only selffocussed, but to get a broader perspective of others’ suffering, as there are always others who are going, or have gone through the same thing as us or possibly worse! If you are still here and going through it, remember that Jesus is familiar with your suffering and weaknesses. He is right there with you. Even if it seems impossible, He may even want to use you to reach out to those people in some way. Take courage that even the prophets in the Bible suffered huge disappointments, losses and defeats. Many of them wanted to give up. Elijah sat under the tree, hiding from ONE woman who threatened to kill him, after he basically first humiliated and annihilated all the prophets of Baal following a divine fiery display that few of us faithfilled believers would attempt! But God meets him where he’s at, serves him food through an angel and strengthens him to continue on his journey. There are invaluable diamonds and principles we discover in tough times, that we would never have otherwise known, so make sure you take hold of ALL God gives you in this time. The foundation for going through your challenging times are: knowing that God is GOOD and that He is WITH YOU. His promises and plans concerning you are true. He WILL give you beauty for ashes and turn your mourning into dancing! He will see this season through. Stay rooted and planted in Him - He is setting you up even through your circumstances to become more than a conqueror. #SHEsgotthis - Pastor Karen #SHE EXPLOSION 101

#SHEBELIEVES

that the baby was alive and very much kicking! I never doubted God that the end result would be a beautiful baby. Now we have a very happy, healthy baby boy; Judah. Experiencing life growing inside of you is a massive miracle and blessing. God formed us intricately, perfectly! “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13

#SHE IS LOVELY

She is clothed in fine linen and purple

- Proverbs 31:22

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#SHEISLOVELY

Why is everyone talking about it?

CROSSFIT C

rossFit is all about constant varied “functional” movement performed at high intensity. The definition of fitness is: “increased work capacity across broad time and modal domains” (CrossFit.com). To translate that into how people normally talk, that means the ability to do a massive amount of work for various amounts of time in various amounts of ways. Whoever can do the most work wins at being the fittest. In simple words… Here’s a weight. Lift.

Here’s a rope. Climb.

Here’s a box. Jump.

The key of CrossFit is intensity. This leads you to push yourself to the best you can in the workouts. Each time you are stepping out of your comfort zone which makes you a stronger person, not just physically but

mentally too. The great thing is that you’re not alone. That is where community is born. CrossFit was created to focus on 10 main physical domains: stamina, strength, coordination, flexibility, power, speed, agility, balance, accuracy and endurance. This is achieved by promoting neurological and hormonal adaptations across all of the metabolic pathways in the body. CrossFit’s specialty is not specialised. You can be a professional runner but have a real problem with your upper body strength. This is where the CrossFit program meets your needs. By being constantly varied, mixing many different exercises is pushing all the parts of your body to the limit, developing the missing strength in you. HERE ARE 10 REASON WHY CROSSFIT IS SO AWESOME!... #SHE EXPLOSION 103

01 FUNCTIONAL FITNESS CrossFit was designed to incorporate a diverse range of movements that prepare us to perform well in real life, from opening doors and reaching the top shelf, to team sports on the pitch. You are taught exercises like kettlebell swings, mountain climbers, deadlifts and pushups in a style that takes our desk based lifestyles into account and works to counteract the hunch.

04 THE COMMUNITY CrossFit gyms are friendly places. People say hi to each other, exchange names which is much more pleasant than slinking in and out without any human contact. The workouts vary between working alone, in pairs or in small groups. The gyms tend to be quite localised so a way of meeting people if you’re new to the area.

HOLISTIC TRAINING The CrossFit philosophy operates as a community that offers more than just a fitness class. Targeted training, nutrition, education, competition, motivation, camaraderie and a well-structured progression model all help you to stick with your goals and feel strong

03 HIGH QUALITY INSTRUCTION Somewhere in between an exercise class and personal training, CrossFit coaches are (or at least should be) obsessed about form. The workouts are demanding so rely on good technique. Be careful though, just like personal training there are good CrossFit gyms and bad ones. Do your research, try out a few places and find one that is run by coaches who have invested in their education 104 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

05 RESULTS You’ll notice both internal and external results pretty quickly thanks to the structure of the workouts. You leave a class knowing you have worked hard - if it doesn’t challenge you it won’t change you! Box jumps, wall balls and goblet squats are super accessible exercises that can make a world of difference. Even if you don’t know what they are, you’ll master these with a bit of guidance.

#SHEISLOVELY

06 CATERS FOR ALL LEVELS Most CrossFit gyms offer foundation courses to help newbies get up to speed with the movements. Even once off the foundations course, coaches guide those who ask, or look like they need it. Though it takes time and quality practice to become confident with this style of training, the benefits are numerous and the CrossFit training programme encompasses all sides of fitness.

09 SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE (Apart from the lazy person) At the top CrossFit gyms, you’ll find a variation of workouts. CrossFit themed circuits, personal training, engineering (slower and more focus on technique) as well as strength and flexibility classes.

07 NO MIRRORS Mirrors can help form sometimes but the coaches act as the eyes to correct technique. The workout should improve how we feel and posing in front of a mirror while doing jumping lunges or lateral lifts is not always a good thing. You don’t play sport in front of a mirror!

08 CONFIDENCE ENHANCING If you’re like most and you begin with zero weight training, things can only get better. At first it may be intimidating but you’ll soon learn the drill, or at least about not being embarrassed to ask for help. Mixing in with beginners and advanced people means you can’t compare yourself either!

10 IT’S FUN Every time you go to the gym you get a different workout and this helps to keep up motivation and anticipation for the next session. You work out in small groups, make new friends and push yourself to new limits you never thought possible. Written by Lou Foster

If you are interested in trying CrossFit come and try out Tiger Pit CrossFit in Orpington. www.tigerpitcrossfit.com

#SHE EXPLOSION 105

TRASHING GOD’S PROPERTY?

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magine this: suppose you owned a property and you’d taken the time to fix it up, paint, landscape and make it look really nice. A lady approaches you about renting it. You agree and she becomes your tenant. Some months later, you check on the property and find it in disarray! The yard is overgrown. Rubbish is strewn all over. When you go inside, holes are in the walls and dirty dishes are in the sink. Cockroaches are crawling everywhere. The tub and toilet looks like they’ve never been cleaned. The property that you took such care in restoring shows no resemblance of that now. Would you say that tenant appreciated your property? No, of course not! The word “appreciation” means “to add value.” If the tenant really appreciated the property she would have at least maintained it. Not only would her actions have shown appreciation for the property but respect for you. I believe the mindset of a responsible tenant is really what we should have regarding taking care of our bodies. They are our temporary residence whilst here on earth and they do not belong to us. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says ‘Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s’. While Paul was addressing sexual immorality here, the principle is the same; because our bodies do not belong to us, we must be mindful of what we do to them for the sake of their Owner.

IN REAL LIFE THAT MEANS: EATING FOODS THAT GIVE ENERGY The body doesn’t require just calories for energy; it requires thousands of micronutrients to transform the food we eat into energy and support our health. God bundled them primarily into the fruits and plants He put on earth for us to eat. LIMITING THE FOODS THAT DRAIN ENERGY Most processed foods are made with store shelf-life and manufacturer profits in mind, not to benefits to our bodies. Most of these foods take our energy to process but don’t give anything of lasting value back to us. Providing your body with the building blocks it needs in order to repair and build healthy tissue - healthy proteins, whether animal or plant-based protein is key in any healthy lifestyle. The Lord not only gives us guidance for what to do but the power to do it. He is all about restoration, not condemnation. He is always available to help us get back on the right track, one step at a time. A good place to start on your weight loss journey is to take out the trash and replace it with things that will “appreciate” the property! Written by Ronelle Bosch

We certainly do not want to be found tr #SHE EXPLOSION 107

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I hear so many people complain of weight gain, low energy, mood swings, and other negative symptoms yet their diet consists of the equivalent of nutritional garbage.

108 CRC WOMENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CONFERENCE 2017

HORMONES The Ultimate Body Hack...

ost of the women I see in my clinical Naturopathic Nutrition practice suffer or have suffered from some kind of hormonal imbalance. Hormones control everything about us, from our moods to our hair growth. Hormone imbalances can manifest in many ways with some of the most common complaints being unstable moods, bloating, constipation, heavy or painful periods, tiredness, abnormal hair growth, weight gain and cravings. But ladies, the good news is that you have the POWER to control the severity of these symptoms through your diet and your lifestyle. In fact, many women eradicate some or all of their symptoms completely by making positive, healthy changes. Let me explain... you see, we all have this pesky hormone called insulin AKA Mr. Fat Storage and he is great friends with the grumpy Mrs. Oestrogen. When you eat foods that are high in processed starch or sugar, Mr. Fat Storage pushes as much fat into your fat cells as he can, while encouraging Mrs. Oestrogen to get way too excited and produce too much oestrogen. Normal levels of oestrogen are essential to a woman but excess oestrogen causes weight gain, cellulite, mood swings and increased risk of breast and endometrial cancer. So now you have a VERY simplified idea of how food DIRECTLY affects hormones and mood.

WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT? Avoid eating processed, starchy foods that release sugars too quickly into your bloodstream causing spikes in insulin and therefore oestrogen. So instead of white potatoes, white rice, bread or pasta, choose sweet potatoes, brown rice or quinoa. Try to eat high quality protein with most meals e.g. chicken, fish or black beans to also slow down blood sugar and insulin release. Lastly, avoid leaving big gaps between meals because this leads to eating too much at meals and making poor choices due to hunger. Instead of high carb snacks like crackers, bananas, biscuits, muffins and chocolate, choose snacks high in healthy hormone-balancing fats like avocado, nuts, seeds, eggs, olives and oily fish. Plus... I have even better news... exercise also changes your bodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s response to insulin and reduces oestrogen release. So, get moving ladies! You could even start with just a 30-minute power walk most days by jumping off the tube a few stops early. Start implementing these little changes today and choose to take control of your hormones and your health! Georgia / Beyond-Balance Ltd Naturopathic Nutritionist Elite Personal Trainer Advanced Physical Rehabilitation Human Kinetics and Ergonomics (BA) www.beyondbalance.co.uk #SHE EXPLOSION 109

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Eat to beat your

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Lip Look

A bold lip will never go out of fashion!

Simply apply a good base of foundation and concealer as desired. Fill in your brows. Add some winged eyeliner to eyes and put on some false eyelashes. Or for a more natural look, you can use your favourite mascara to enhance your eyes. Then choose from one of the lipsticks below to get the #She London Lip look from our make-up expert - Jessica de Freitas.

TIPS FOR APPLYING LIPSTICKS

KATE MOSS - SHARDE 1

APPLY LIP LINER AFTER LIPSTICK When your lip colour starts to fade, the liner and lipstick will fade away together, sparing you the ill-advised “ring” around your lips. Only use the lip liner to define the shape of your actual lips.

MAC ORANGE CB 96

SET LIPSTICK FOR LASTING POWER To make your lipstick last all day, apply the shade, blot with a tissue, and dust a thin layer of powder over lips. Next, reapply the lipstick—this will form a base for longer wearing lip coverage.

SOFTEN LINES After applying your lip colour, do the “finger trick” to prevent lipstick from getting on your teeth. Put your finger in your mouth and close your lips around your finger. With lips still closed, pull your finger out. Any lip product that would have ended up on your teeth is now on your finger.

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MAKE UP REVOLUTION DEPRAVED

MAC YELLOW YOU DARE BARRY M - GREENIE

#SHEISLOVELY

False Lashes

Do you avoid putting on false lashes because you have no clue what you doing? Well that is all going to change. Jessica shares these easy to following steps on how to apply them! So you will be showing off your new luscious lashes in no time!

STEP 1 CHECK FIT: Align the band with natural lash line. Trim excess if necessary to perfectly fit your eyes. STEP 2 APPLY ADHESIVE: Apply a thin line of adhesive along the band. Wait for 30 seconds to set, you must wait for the adhesive to get tacky.

STEP 3 APPLY LASHES: Secure lash band by pressing onto lash line. You can either use tweezers or your fingers. Drop the lashes into the middle of your eyelash and press down on the lashes. STEP 4 SECURE LASHES: Once secure add some mascara to blend your natural lashes with the false lashes.

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#SHE STYLE

LUWI’S 9-TO-5 GRIND 5 ways to wear your blue ripped/distressed jeans to work High waisted jeans are not going away anytime soon and neither are Boyfriend jeans so it’s a good fashion piece to invest in this summer! I have chosen two types of looks that will suit every shape. The high waisted skinny jeans will suit a more pearshape and hour-glass figure highlighting

those good assets, like the small waist. The Boyfriend jeans look will suit those with a rectangle or boyish frame (non-prominent curves) and also an apple shape (where most weight collects on the upper part-example the belly). This will also highlight the good assets like long legs, so dress for these!

A pair of high waisted blue jeans with a silk khaki bomber jacket - the casual look that you could wear on a Monday at the office, still looking smart but also casual.

Style up your blue high waisted jeans with a pair of flat monochrome loafers and a blazer still looking smart but casual.

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for that evening with your friends. Couple this with a #She t-shirt and you will leave an impression.

3 5

Combine your blue jeans with a khaki leather jacket and a slashed shoulder white tee for that day of meetings at the office, where you want to look chic but still keeping the office ethics. Pair them with a chunky heeled gladiator sandal.

Meeting some friends for a fresh Frappuccino after a long week and possibly grab a light meal after, so not over dressed in this triple denim look worn with statement denim bow slippers.

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#SHEISLOVELY

Skinny fit Boyfriend jeans with a simple but stylish ankle boot, accessorised with a choker ready

* Items can be purchased from Zara, Allsaints, Primark, Missguided and the She Merchandise website

CRC YOUTH LND presents

#SHE YOUTH “Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. “ 1 Timothy 4:12

GENERATION X 114 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

HOW NOT TO DO COURTSHIP

IN THE WORLD’S ECONOMY,

WE DO RELATIONSHIPS LIKE TRADING, THINKING THAT

MOVING FROM RELATIONSHIP TO RELATIONSHIP IS FUN AND PART OF LIFE. WE CERTAINLY DON’T THINK IT AFFECTS US, OTHER

THAN THE ODD DISAPPOINTMENT WHEN THINGS DON’T WORK OUT. WHEN I GOT SAVED (BECAME A BORN-AGAIN CHRISTIAN) 19 YEARS AGO, NO ONE I KNEW THAT CALLED THEMSELVES CHRISTIAN IN MY ENVIRONMENT, DID RELATIONSHIPS THE BIBLICAL WAY. YET ONE FRIEND STARTED SHARING WITH ME SOME THINGS HE READ AND IN MY SPIRIT I KNEW - THIS IS TRUTH.

unrenewed mind did not like what it was hearing though! I started reading the Word to find evidence to support the world’s way of doing things, but instead found principles, special boundaries, put in place for relationships with purpose. As christians, nothing we ever do is without PURPOSE. Part of that purpose always is to glorify God and to grow more into what He has created us to be. Relationships are integral to our existence on earth - so it is seriously a good idea to find out what God’s truth is about it, so you are not robbed from the blessing of walking in God’s will; or conversely, reap a harvest of heartache and destruction because you don’t. Your relationship choices will affect you and the other party. Not just in the short term, but well into the future, eg marriage. It’s not a heavy - it’s all about being so in love with the LOVER of your soul, that you know you’re different, you’re set apart, you’re called for a higher purpose and for holiness and walk in it. I just love Holly’s open and honest approach to her life. She has grown into such a strong woman and I know there is so much more to come - so really receive this testimony as an example God gave to speak into your life today! - PASTOR KAREN #SHE EXPLOSION 115

#SHEYOUTH

LOVE & SEX My

INUNDATED WITH LATE NIGHT MESSAGES? SCROLLING ENDLESSLY THROUGH HIS SNAP STORY WHILST IMAGINING THAT ONE DAY YOU WILL BE PART OF IT? OBSESSING TO THE DEGREE WHERE YOU SECRETLY TEST HOW HIS SURNAME SOUNDS WITH YOUR FIRST NAME? IF YOU ANSWERED A RESOUNDING YES TO ALL OF THE ABOVE, YOU PROBABLY ALREADY THINK YOU KNOW WHO YOUR HUSBAND IS……AND IS HE YOUR HUSBAND? 116 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

“WE GOT SAT DOWN FAIRLY EARLY ON BY LEADERSHIP AND WERE TOLD HOW TO APPLY THE CORRECT PRINCIPLES IN A RELATIONSHIP”

ow that’s an interesting question isn’t it? Well, if he is, all I can say is you had BETTER do things right. I unfortunately learnt this the hard way. Let me share a little bit about my experience and entitle this article ‘How NOT To Do Courtship!’ I met my now husband seven years ago now and let’s just say my experience wasn’t really that of the average person! Of all the places to meet your future ‘Boaz’ a club wouldn’t really appear at the top of the list of most ideal places for identifying a godly man. Amongst the blaring of loud 90’s cheesy music and in the charming setting of my heels sticking to the tiles of the beer slicked floor, Zigi and his friend approached me. I would like to add that YES, Zigi was already saved and YES he

Zigi was newly saved and was still very much in his zealous “turn or burn” phase with God. Me, being an atheist of the highest extreme, I was not even slightly open to being literally handed a Jesus card. Zigi confidently told me that he had just entered into a relationship with Jesus (ugh - what?!) and that he would love me to come and visit his church. When I challenged him and asked whether or not he was planning some elaborate chat up line he simply responded by taking off his sweater and revealing an ‘I love Jesus’ slogan t shirt. Yes. He really DID do that! Ok so let me continue by re-emphasising this is an article on how NOT to do courtship, so please do not get any ideas. This entire setting was by no means a suggestion to you as a born-again Christian particularly if you actually want to run for Jesus. Anyway needless to say, after another meet up with Zigi when his and my friend dragged us along to accompany them on their first date, it wasn’t long before he shared the gospel in detail with me and I finally made the decision to go to church. Not long after I was radically saved but still found myself battling with an unrenewed mindset symptomatic of any baby Christian. As Zigi embarked on trying to instill godly principles in me and

to disciple me, I found myself in a very real wrestle of the mind. We sat down fairly early on with leadership, who shared how to apply godly principles in a relationship. They explained about boundaries, why it’s there for protection of a relationship and more.

THE WORLD’S WAY OF DOING THINGS TEACHES A ‘TRY BEFORE YOU BUY’ APPROACH WHEREBY YOU FIRST GET DRAWN TO YOUR OTHER HALF BY PHYSICAL ATTRACTION, LATER EMBARKING ON SEXUAL RELATIONS, FOLLOWED BY AN EMOTIONAL BOND FORMED THROUGH ENTERING INTO A DATING RELATIONSHIP AND FINALLY, IF EVER, HAVING SOMETHING SPIRITUAL WITH THE PERSON. Thankfully our leadership shared with us that we conduct ourselves differently in God’s economy. God says believe first and then see rather than see first and then believe. He teaches courtship rather than dating. The first question I had was, what on earth is courtship and why does it sound so pristine and proper almost like something out of a stuffy Victorian novel? Well God teaches that courtship is a faith thing. He asks that we first seek His will for our lives and prayerfully seek Him on who our partner is. When He shows us we go through a period of separation and prayer to not allow ourselves #SHE EXPLOSION 117

#SHEYOUTH

should most certainly NOT have been in a club. His friend had recently returned from the army and invited him to watch a rugby game in a sports bar that unbeknown to him magically morphed into a club after a certain hour. So to cut to the chase Zigi and I met and had the pleasure of being left alone as complete strangers and having to make some seriously awkward small talk whilst our two wonderful loyal friends left us to go and in true worldly style cunoodle in a darkened corner alone.

“WHEN THE BIBLE STATES THAT TWO WILL BECOME ONE WHEN THEY ENTER SEXUAL INTIMACY IT DOES NOT LIE!” life. It’s then and ONLY then that the couple embark on the physical side of the relationship. This method is demonstrated to us in Izak’s pursuit of his wife, Rebecca, as well as other stories like Ruth who found her ‘Boaz’. So in short, God’s way can really be seen as a complete reverse: Spirit followed by emotions and then the physical after marriage in contrast to the world’s way; physical, emotional and then (if at all) spiritual.

to get caught up in the emotional, clouded, rose coloured glasses phase and to earnestly enquire whether this person is indeed God’s will for us. After all, why on earth would we not want to be in His will? I mean we literally marry our destiny so we need to ensure that person is right, or else we may as well have been handed the death sentence! After a period of prayer once you have the release both from God and from leadership (and this part is key) you then pursue a godly friendship getting to know the person; their likes and dislikes and really whether you gel well together as people. The final and ultimate part of the courtship is entering into engagement and finally after, marriage - permitted and granted via the blessing of the father figure in the woman’s 118 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

After having this enlightening chat with these mentors in our lives, there was a part of me that desperately wanted to please God, to grow deeper with Him and not to live a ‘mediocre lukewarm life’ but another side to me I like to refer to as my alter ego ‘BC Holly’ that frequently reared her ugly head and desired to gain the affection both physically and emotionally that she had always received in the past from the men she had been connected with. What a wrestle it was! Much like Paul I was encountering nothing short of spiritual schizophrenia! I “I do not understand what I do, For what I want to do, I do not, but what I hate I do!” (Romans 7:15). Zigi being a man full of God as well as testosterone, only very newly saved himself and fresh out of the clubs was caught in much the same battle and it wasn’t long until we found ourselves being THOSE people, yes the ones who live a double life; outwardly crying, “Lord Lord” but behind closed doors getting up to all sorts of x-rated things. I remember literally going into church and feeling that somehow Pastor Thabo had

THIS IS SADLY WHERE MANY CHRISTIANS WHO ARE YOUNG IN THEIR WALK, BLAME THEIR CHURCH,OR BASICALLY EVERYONE BUT THEMSELVES, INSTEAD OF SEEING SATAN’S LIES AND SEEKING GOD. WHEN THE BIBLE STATES THAT TWO WILL BECOME ONE WHEN THEY ENTER INTO SEXUAL INTIMACY IT DOES NOT LIE! THE SEXUAL BOND IS AMONGST THE STRONGEST ON THIS PLANET AND FORMS SUCH A TIE THAT YOU TAKE ON EACH OTHER’S CARES, WORRIES AND EVEN CHARACTER TRAITS: GOOD AND BAD.

It wasn’t long until I found myself becoming increasingly offended at Pastor’s preaching, one of the most dramatic episodes being my storming out mid sermon in response to a statement about women submitting to their husbands. “Who, ME? NEVER will I submit to any man!” My Homecell leaders proceeded to chase me down the escalators and finally managed to sit me down and talk some sense into me. The other noticeable pitfall in my not doing courtship God’s way phase was the paralyzing insecurity. Oh the insecurity! I mean I would only have to see Zigi glance in the direction of another girl (which was easy to do in a church FULL of girls) and I would morph into psycho Sally, ‘how dare you look at my man! SCARY! Basically what I am saying is the negative repercussions from doing things backwards with my relationship really had an effect not just on me but on Zigi and ultimately on my spiritual growth and relationship with God. What was worse than anything was the heavy weight of shame and condemnation coupled with the distinct feeling of blockage between me and God. Stunted spiritual growth, inability to read the Word and connect, paranoia about Zigi leaving me, God hating me and the inward feeling that I was a hypocrite grieving the Holy Spirit Himself - these things were literally surrounding me like a thick gloom of heaviness over my life. It most certainly does NOT come recommended to fall into this trap. Many of us, if we are honest with ourselves, have lived much of our womanhood insecure and with a broken identity. We have chased after love, craving the affection of a father we never had or having dreams of finding the ‘one’ and this is many times why we end up in this position, it is literally in many ways an identity ‘crisis’. My advice to you is if you #SHE EXPLOSION 119

#SHEYOUTH

been given some hijacked cctv footage of Zigi and I and our secret life. Everytime he preached ‘don’t live one foot in the world and one foot in the church’ it was as if a blaring spot light was shining directly on me and God was somehow saying ‘Woe to you Holly you wicked and evil sinner, you are doomed to outer darkness and eternal damnation’. YES, now I know that was never the heart of God but back then and as a new Christian Satan really hand his claws in deep and it was the door that I myself was opening through licentious living, that allowed all sorts of condemnation, shame and judgement to come in and convince me of His wrath and disappointment in me.

really want the fairytale ending you have always dreamed of, please, do things right!

I DARE YOU TO PURSUE A REAL, AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CREATOR, TO PUT GOD FIRST AND SEE THAT HIS WORD IS TRUE ‘SEEK FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD AND ALL HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS AND ALL ELSE WILL BE GIVEN UNTO YOU’. Unfortunately Zigi and I didn’t experience the last of our mistakes when we finally entered into marriage. We carried through with us many of the negative fruits of our decisions back then. After all, God warns us as a loving Father that ‘whatsoever a man sows, that he will also reap’ and that law is like gravity - ultimately you cannot prevent it. I brought insecurity and doubt with me into my marriage and have spent the best part of five years getting through self-doubt, esteem and trust issues that were a direct consequence of my disobedience back then. It’s not that God punished us for our disobedience, but you simply cannot escape the harvest of a badly planted crop. #Shelady I urge you, DON’T make the same mistake. Know your worth, your identity in Christ and love God more than the desire and comfort of craving after a man. Today I can confidently say that I owe everything to God who thankfully gave us a second chance and through applying correct principles now in marriage, we have recovered much of the damage that was done back then. God has restored us as individuals and finally allowed us to get past certain insecurities and issues with 120 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

trust. I now have the privilege to be used by God to help young people in their walk with God and have mentored a few people now through the courtship process and entering into a godly marriage. Most recently, I had the joy of seeing and guiding one of my first homecell members into doing courtship the right way from start to finish. I’ve seen how God has blessed her and her husband tremendously. They have a beautiful new baby and continue to enjoy one another daily and bear fruit as a couple in Christ. My hope in you reading this article is this: that you would really think twice before making the same mistakes I made. That you would put God at the centre of your decision making and ultimately that you would wait for the one HE has set aside for you. I know in doing this you will truly see the supernatural hand of God in your life and ultimately will reach the great destination God has for your life!

“READER, I URGE YOU DON’T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE. KNOW YOUR WORTH, YOUR IDENTITY IN CHRIST AND LOVE GOD MORE THAN THE DESIRE AND CONFOMFOR OF CRAVING AFTER A MAN” WRITTEN BY HOLLY BALLAN

#SHEYOUTH

“How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your Word. “ Psalm 119:9

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CA N I T B E GOD LY ?

THE MARRIAGE BED IS ‘UNDEFILED’ THAT’S WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS HOWEVER, MANY OF US HAVE DIFFICULTY BELIEVING IT. IN OUR DAY AND AGE AND PARTICULARLY IN THE CONTEXT OF CHURCH LIFE SEX HAS BECOME SOMETHING SO MARRED, SINFUL AND DISTASTEFUL TO TALK ABOUT IN CHRISTIAN CIRCLES THAT IT CAN ALMOST SEEM LIKE SOMETHING GOD FROWNS UPON, PERHAPS WE CHRISTIANS ARE SUPPOSED TO MARRY AND THEN BE DESTINED TO A LIFE OF ‘SANCTIMONIOUS’ CELIBACY AND ‘FRIGID’ FRIENDSHIP WITH OUR HUSBANDS? COULD THIS BE THE WAY GOD LOOKS AT SEX? LET’S DEBUNK THE MYTHS AND LOOK AT THE TRUE PURPOSE BEHIND SEX AND SOME OF THE THINGS GOD SAYS ABOUT IT...

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EX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX S

SEX

Sex is dirty and sinful, how can a godly marriage allow it?

WHAT GOD SAYS: God says marriage has been created for healing. In Genesis when God first created man God said let him ‘be fruitful and multiply’. How does man multiply? Through sex! If God created it how can it possibly be dirty and sinful. Unfortunately, sin has perverted the way we see sex and in many ways altered our perception of what this should look like within a godly context.. Sex outside marriage is sinful and wrong, known in the Bible as fornication. However, within the marriage this is something that promotes healing, unity and has been created to bring oneness and joy to a couple.

THE MYTH Sex is surely something carnal and destroys relationships?

WHAT GOD SAYS: Within the boundaries and covering of marriage, this is definitely not true! Sex is God created and the Bible says that when Adam and Eve knew one another i.e. had sex they became ‘one flesh’. Not only does NOT destroy relationships but, in fact brings unity and builds it! Sex outside of marriage, however, is the one sin God says is against a person’s own body. Sex outside of the covering of God is detrimental and can form soul ties and ultimately damage both parties involved.

#SHEYOUTH

THE MYTH

THE MYTH Am I a bad Christian if I enjoy sex in my marriage and can God approve of me having lustful feelings?

WHAT GOD SAYS: When we experience sexual intimacy and the pleasure that accompanies this we must not feel that this is lustful. Lust is a completely different concept and lays outside the boundaries of the covenant of marriage instituted by God. Lust and fornication are harmful because they are what the Bible refers to as the fruits or characteristics of the flesh. Lust is actually a demonic and harmful spirit designed to gratify our fleshly desires and is something that is self-seeking and never satisfied. Sexual pleasure has been created by God for us to enjoy within the marriage and to build up harmony and strength in the union.

THE MYTH Sex outside of marriage can surely be alright for some? How else can we possibly know we are physically compatible?!

WHAT GOD SAYS: God is a God of faith. He asks that we trust Him and walk by ‘faith and not by sight’. We need to trust that as our loving Father, He will give us the desires of our heart.

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PLAN UR LIFE LIFESTYLE AND CAREER

HOW MANY OF YOU WOULD AGREE THAT BALANCING RELATIONSHIPS, EDUCATION AND YOUR SOCIAL LIFE CAN BECOME OVERWHELMING AT TIMES? THE DEMANDS OF PARENTS, TEACHERS AND EVEN YOUR OWN EXPECTATION OF YOURSELF CAN LEAVE YOU FEELING OVERWHELMED. IN THIS DAY AND AGE IT SEEMS TO BE A COMMON SUBJECT AMONGST MANY TEENAGERS GROWING UP WITH QUESTIONS SUCH AS ‘HOW CAN I BALANCE EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE AND NOT NEGLECT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS AND ULTIMATELY, GOD?’

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truth, the real balance comes by being more efficient with the time that you DO have and having better scheduling, as I’ve heard, ‘Proper planning prevents poor performance’. In doing so you open the doors to balancing a life filled, vibrant relationship with God and a well-balanced social and educational life. In following these steps you will see how you will be more effective in doing your school work, accomplishing realistic goals that you have set out for yourself, having quality time for family and friends and most importantly keeping Jesus at the center of it ALL.. First of all we will begin by laying down the foundation (Proverbs 1:7) to which this all stems from; knowing your true purpose in life - being heavenly sighted and not just earthly minded (Colossians 3:2) and keeping God’s promises alive in our lives. Knowing how to plan, schedule and prioritise all three fundamental categories in every teenager’s life.

#SHEYOUTH

“IN FOLLOWING THESE STEPS YOU WILL SEE HOW YOU WILL BE MORE EFFECTIVE IN DOING YOUR SCHOOL WORK, ACCOMPLISH REALISTIC GOALS THAT YOU SET FOR YOURSELF, HAVING QUALITY TIME FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY KEEPING JESUS AT THE CERNTER OF IT ALL”

FIRST THING’S FIRST! So what is it that we must first realise in order to have a balanced life? Firstly we must realise that our lives are not determined by our success, achievements or status, but rather, what the Word of God says about how we should live our lives in complete surrender to His will which is ultimately by seeking and saving those who are lost by effective preaching of the Word that will impact the lives of those around us and to display the love of Jesus Christ. Therefore we must make sure that our relationship with God is alive so that we will know the good, acceptable and perfect will of God (Romans 12:2) when making our goals, wanting to achieve our dreams and making certain decisions in our lives to encourage a balanced life. We are able to do this by acknowledging God in all our ways so that He can direct our path. God says in His Word to seek first the Kingdom of God and all things shall be

added to you (Matthew 6:33). We have been created to have fellowship with our Father by yielding to the instructions and guidance of the Holy Spirit which comes through our intimate relationship with God and His word. Write down the vision (your dreams and aspirations) (Habakkuk 2:2) and keep God’s promises in front of you. God has sparked a dream in all of us. If we ask Him, He will remind us of what He has purposed in our heart that we were meant to do while we are here on earth with this special gift of life. God does make it clear that He has given us this life to live it to the full (John 10:10) but also to live for God (1 Corinthians 7:17). While we go through life it is important to always remind ourselves of those promises and keep the vision in front of us so that we never grow weary or tired in the process. You know many teenagers say: “but I have no idea what my dream or vision is for my life” “I sometimes feel like I’m going nowhere.” Well the best thing is to serve God in everything you do and to do it for Him and Him alone, to #SHE EXPLOSION 125

trust in Him that when the right time comes He will speak to your heart and show you. But until then, work hard and enjoy life with God, not forgetting to include Him (Proverbs 3:6)

“...IT IS IMPORTANT TO PUT ALL THESE GOALS ON PAPER AND TO BREAK THEM UP AND SCHEDULE THEM INTO A WEEKLY AND MONTHLY CALENDAR”

PLANNING Set small, specific goals.

ACADEMICALLY

When you decide to focus on your academic achievements, anything less than straight A’s can feel like a failure. Rather than trying to perfect your academic career right away, focus on smaller, incremental steps. For example, if your average in a particular class is 60%, don’t aim for 90% right away. Try to set goals that will incrementally take you to 90% in 5% portions. This will keep you working at your goals, rather than being demoralized. However, it is important to set goals not only academically but also for the rest of these categories:

SPIRITUALLY

Have a bible study plan. For example you can decide to have a monthly goal in certain topics you want to study. It is also good to have a weekly day-to-day prayer rota in place. This will help you being focused and having a framework for the Holy Spirit to work from. Obviously do not be shocked or afraid to let go if the Holy Spirit directs you that specific day into a different direction when it comes 126 CRC WOMEN’S CONFERENCE 2017

to what you need to read or write. Just pick up on your plan the next week. A good idea is to also have a goal in reading books that will help you grow in areas you feel you need more wisdom and understanding.

SOCIALLY

There’s nothing wrong with hanging out with friends, spending quality time with family members or having a bit of ‘me’ time. One thing to keep in mind when hanging out with friends though is as long as you don’t feel forced into it you can enjoy yourself. Don’t succumb to peer pressure because you want to fit in or be cool. Before you start trying to balance your social life with your academic and spiritual life, make sure the things that comprise your social life are activities you actually want to take part in. Focus on things that bring you enjoyment and a welcome distraction from your schoolwork. Try some new activities as well. You can try new activities with friends or on your own. Make sure the people you allow in your life are supportive of your academic goals. If they make you feel guilty for not hanging out with them, they’re not being supportive of what you’re trying to achieve. Accept that you won’t be able to socialise every day. If you’re committed to being a high achiever in school, you won’t be able to hang out the night before an important test. Understand that sacrifices have to be made if you aim to reach your goals. Set aside a day each week particularly for socialising. Saturday is a particularly good choice: you can stay up later since it’s not a school night and you don’t yet have to prepare your homework for the next week. However, it is important to have deadlines for yourself.

Lastly, it is important to keep on top of things and not to get behind as to-do lists stream in. Create a weekly to-do list for yourself. This list will have specific tasks that occur every week on specific days. WRITTEN BY TALITA VAN HEERDEN

â&#x20AC;&#x153;IF YOU FAIL TO PLAN YOU PLAN TO FAILâ&#x20AC;?

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#SHEYOUTH

Now that you have cleared your goals it is important to put all these goals on paper and to break them up and schedule them into a weekly and monthly calendar. I find that using a google calendar where you can add social activities, study planners and when and what you will be reading and praying for is a good choice. When you have done this, set up reminders on your phone and use the opportunity to create a system to reward yourself. So when you have achieved and followed your plans to schedule a fun and relaxing activity or something to get yourself, anything you will feel that will help to encourage you to keep going and to stick to your plan.

ASK A #SHE YOUTH LEADER

#SHE NEEDS ADVICE...

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#SHEYOUTH

DEAR #SHE YOUTH LEADER, HE’S TOLD ME I’M HIS WIFE AND THAT GOD SAID SO? WHAT DO I DO NEXT?

ADER HOLLY

#SHE YOUTH LE

WOW that’s a BIG one. Well, firstly I would encourage you strongly to read our article on ‘How NOT to do Courtship’ to give you some context on how a godly relationship should work. Now let me be very clear about one thing: This man should NOT have approached you in this way. Not only is it awkward, it can be very misleading and confusing to quote something as if God has said it. Having said that, he’s just a Christian guy on his own journey.

Thank God His Spirit can lead you through all challenging situations with #wisdom! I would first tell him that you’re not interested and believe that God would speak to you in the matter. Then ask him directly if he has spoken to his spiritual leadership to get godly counsel in this regard. I would also want to be very sure he has really prayed about this and that this isn’t simply a response to physical attraction, but the best thing to do is to AVOID getting involved - put it on the shelf altogether. If someone is your husband and you’re a praying slaying girl, He ain’t gonna let you miss it. You’ll see it for SURE. Whatever you do, honour and follow godly principles in this situation. Get your church leadership involved in the process and you should also personally ask God for wisdom and guidance in this area. After all, marriage is a mammoth decision and you want to get it right! There is huge blessing in trusting God for this decision in your life and sadly, consequences for not doing it.

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DEAR #SHE YOUTH LEADER, I’M REALLY STRUGGLING AS I STILL BATTLE WITH THOUGHTS ABOUT THE SAME SEX AND AM BATTLING WITH MY SEXUALITY. COULD I BE GAY?

ADER TALITA

#SHE YOUTH LE

Good question! And yes, you’re not the only one thinking this way! The first thing you need to know is that God loves you. He loved you just as you are before you even MET Him or accepted Him. From the day we invite Jesus into our lives, we start undergoing a lifelong journey of discovering who He created us to be. But you see, the devil has plans - plans to destroy, confuse and bring chaos on earth and in your life. He will start with your soul (mind, emotions and free will) and then go for the body and spirit. He does the exact opposite of what God does! God wants to bring love and restoration, but Satan wants to destroy and bring hatred. God wants you to learn to love Him, so you can truly love yourself and so love others.

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Sexuality is a deep seated identity issue that is shaped throughout your life. To add to that complexity, young people today are bombarded with confusing messages and ill-founded evidence is often quoted on the issue of homosexuality. We do know this - God loves you and wants you to find yourself by the guidance of the Holy Spirit and with the help of His Word, by transforming your mind to it’s original design. The Word is our standard. So the real issue is - find your real design! Allow God to uproot all issues in your life, through the Word, that have shaped you, but were not part of His plan: rejection, mindsets resulting from sexual abuse, selfidolatry, fear, or whatever they may be. As we keep on growing in God, willingly choosing to surrender and believe the truth He speaks over our lives, we start taking on His image more and more. This goes for all of us! Satan on the other hand, wants to do just the opposite. He wants to confuse people by what they think and then ultimately he wants us to believe what he is saying about our identity and who we are; to believe the lies about our future. God says we are made in His image! How wonderful! One translation says: ‘He created them godlike, reflecting God’s nature.’ Genesis 1:26-28

#SHEYOUTH

So just by reading a few scriptures you will find that God created male and female, to complement and help each other. If we are carriers of His image and nature, then of course the devil will try and confuse us by getting us to believe lies! Romans 1:1-14 says the following: ‘God gave mankind over to lies, because the rejected him.’ They chose to believe the lies, listing homosexuality as one of them, rather than the truth.’ It says that no person tolerating these lies will enter heaven. The sad thing is that these ‘lies’ about sexuality are coming through all types of channels, like family members, close friends and sometimes through difficult life experiences and situations. The definition of a lie is that it is made up; it is a deception and a false thing. In other words, it is something that is not true. So HOW will you overcome lies or strongholds? The Word is your guide and talks about a very powerful strategy to use against deception at all times: Take lies in your thoughts CAPTIVE! My advice will be to identify that gender based confusion are lies! Then, be very open with your leadership and mentors in church, about the way you feel, allowing them to help you access truth through the Word, and to keep you accountable in the process of dealing with lies in your life. I would also encourage you to seek Jesus with all your heart! Stay close to Him so that there is NO ROOM for the devil to come with lies! The Holy Spirit will comfort you, He will teach you and will guide you into all truth about who He made you to be.

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DEAR #SHE YOUTH LEADER, I’VE HAD A REAL BATTLE ACCEPTING MY BODY THE WAY IT IS. TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST, I WOULD REALLY LOVE TO HAVE PLASTIC SURGERY TO CHANGE IT. IS THIS WRONG?

want to change it, then I think you can ask the Holy Spirit if He is ok with you pursuing surgery - correctional surgery etc. But I think it’s all down to your heart’s intentions.

ADER DANIELA

#SHE YOUTH LE

The Bible says we are perfectly and wonderfully made! I think you need to find the balance between personal grooming, healthy change and vanity and beauty obsession. When anything becomes an idol, it is wrong. Self-loathing is wrong. We should learn to be comfortable with who we are and how God made us! So ask God: Am I the way You made me to be? We should glorify God with our bodies, but I think that definitely first means having a healthy mind and body. Healthy, as in you take care of yourself, you are groomed, you eat well, and you exercise. If you have a part of your body that makes you deeply unhappy and you

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If it’s to attract male attention in the wrong way it might be worth considering if God really wants you to spend money on this or if it’s an idolised or Hollywood idea of how a girl’s body should be. God made us all different and we should embrace who we are. If you feel you want to change your boobs, bum or nose, I don’t see why it is wrong to have surgery as long as the intentions of your heart is for your own confidence and you are not bowing to what the world says you should look like! Just as much as we cannot neglect our body we also should not idolise. In some cases plastic surgery is God’s way of healing people. Doctors and surgeons all help us, and I’m sure some women may have very real personal reasons for cosmetic surgery - i.e. there was an accident, or an illness, or reason when you were growing up that you feel as to why you would like correctional surgery, and this I believe is fine!

#SHEYOUTH

Wise words Daniela! On my own journey of basically self-loathing for life (until I finally surrendered it to Jesus!), I discovered through the Holy Spirit that me obsessing about myself can be like self-idolatry. When we really feel insecure about how we look, it can either turn into self-obsession, or selfdenial where we see many women letting themselves “go”. What changed my perspective in the end, was my LOVE relationship with Jesus. I wanted to find out more and more what pleases Him, because I realised He is my LOVER. It took time to start loving myself and understand that it is dishonouring towards God to be displeased with my body, His temple and creation. It made me want to be the best “temple” I can be! I had to learn that my ideology of perfection was a result from my “broken” mindsets, formed by the media influences of this age and my imperfect character. I recently saw my two year old dancing in front of the mirror, admiring herself and I just realised, SATAN is the dream stealer, the liar. If we keep on loathing ourselves, we are allowing him to win! The irony is, no amount of self-loathing is going to change anything. In fact, it will limit you in every area of your life and might even be responsible for you abusing your body through over-eating, mistreating yourself in any way, etc. The change you want to see, is if you CHOOSE to love yourself and then apply WISDOM through time, to live a healthy lifestyle to become the BEST YOU. You will and should NEVER be like someone else because you are simply unique. So, be-you-tiful!

WORD

FROM

PASTO R

KAREN

It can be difficult to let go of wrong thinking - the Bible calls it “strongholds”. But when you get fed up with lies, understand how it forms and you’re open for thinking about yourself God’s way, the Holy Spirit will be right there to help you. I would think twice or three times before turning to surgery - I think there should be some functionality or significant difference it could make to your life, how you relate to society or your marriage (when you get there!). I’ve met Christians with different viewpoints on this, but the key is: if the root is self-loathing, or if you don’t have peace, don’t do it. Another question to ask is, can I confidently answer to a nonbeliever or another woman I’m mentoring, why I felt surgery was needed? Having surgery does not determine whether you are going to heaven - it’s an area that God leaves to our discretion through Wisdom. Never let that be the replacement of truly loving yourself, though! The roots of selfhatred issues will sadly remain if you do.

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Physical Beauty Hacks

1 2 3 4

Every girl wants to know the tips and tricks to having a successful beauty routine. You and me both know we’ve seen ‘that girl’ walk into the room and think ‘woah she’s pretty, what is her secret? and how do I get what she has?’ Well...we’ve put together a little guide for you.

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LASTING PERFUME Have you ever been in a situation where you spray perfume and you expect that perfume to last ALL day and it doesn’t? WELL...if you rub a little vaseline onto the place where you would normally spray your perfume - it lasts all day.

PEDI QUICK FIX We are all running around being Superwomen and every now and then our feet need a little TLC; so here’s a quick trick to exfoliate your feet and get rid of that dead skin. Add two tablespoons of brown sugar to ½ cup of coconut oil. Mix and then apply to your feet in circular motions. Wash off with warm water and enjoy! SALON STYLE Want to get salon soft hair? Add a quarter cup of olive oil to three quarters cup of your hair mask. Warm it up in the microwave and apply on towel-dried hair making sure to start from the ends! Comb through and follow up by applying a plastic cap. Let it sit for an hour, rinse and voila! Salon soft hair every time.

STARTING THE DAY Girls, you don’t need us to tell you that finding the motivation to stay healthy is hard work, we know! However, we’ve got a little something to give you a head start. Grab a glass of lukewarm water; add a few slices of lemon and a dash of cayenne pepper. Lemon juice is a natural aid to digestion and the best way to kick start your organs! The dash of cayenne pepper aids the liver to work at its full function.

The world teaches us that beauty is about how you look, what you wear, how clear your skin is; etc. However, as girls that are after God’s heart, should this be our focus? Song of Solomon 4:7 ‘You are altogether beautiful my love; there is no flaw in you! ‘Phew, that was close… we can wipe the sweat off our foreheads because we know that God has made us the way we are!’ We’ve established that we ARE beautiful, but what type of beauty is God seeking?

(1 Peter 3:3-4) What makes a young girl in Christ beautiful? Her ability to be gentle and quiet - so what does this mean for my ‘on fleek’ eyebrows?? It means that they’re still on fleek but what’s more fleeky is the substance on the inside! Don’t worry we won’t leave you unequipped! ! We’ve put together a guide of ‘spiritual beauty hacks’ you will need to keep in your purse as a young girl in Christ.

MOUTH - Keeping your mouth positive and prayed up. This is a very special spiritual hack we all need help with. We all have moments in our lives where all we want to do is speak negatively, or declare whatever our emotions are feeling in that moment. In fact, sometimes we have to admit we don’t even feel motivated to pray; but as young girls this is a key to unlocking everything God has meant for you.

WORD - Bible (Hebrews 4:12) The Word of God brings life wherever it goes. Have you ever heard the phrase: ‘beauty is within’- well with this spiritual beauty hack it literally is. If you ever wonder why people are drawn to you, it’s because of the Word within you - it’s like a magnet!

MIRROR - Why would I need a mirror as a spiritual beauty hack you may ask? Because sometimes life happens, situations occur. Looking into a mirror and reminding yourself of how much of an awesome young woman you are will allow your light to shine. Also remember that your identity comes from mirroring the Word of God.

SELF DEVELOPMENT BOOKS - This is a major spiritual hack! Beauty comes from having the desire to improve yourself and acting on it. Investing time in your character is not selfish but rather considered wise. Being the best version of yourself is nothing but God’s desire. So #SHEGIRL, be the best version of you and let your beauty shine! #SHE EXPLOSION 135

#SHEYOUTH

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PASTOR KAREN, WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF A BAD DATE?

My idea of a bad date would be a guy telling me on the first date he is going to marry me...which is exactly what Pastor Thabo did! In the end he was so convinced, that I felt obliged to at least pray about it and thank God I did - He completely changed my heart and showed me it’s TRUE! #goodthingIcanhearHisvoice #thiswasnotwhatIordered Any date with a guy who you consider to be a friend, but it turns out he has romantic expectations...is usually an awkward date. Be careful of giving wrong impressions to guys or being naive about this. It’s a lesson I learnt the hard way! Rather stick to group dates for the majority of the time, until God leads you to the ONE.

YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, WHAT ARE YOUR FIRST MORNING ROUTINES?

It depends how many kids woke up during the night! Most mornings I get woken by someone calling me, then it’s a school run. If I didn’t get to pray for the day before the school run, I try to do it afterwards. Being a mum teaches you to be flexible, but creative and intentional to spend time with God. Before kids I was pretty diligent in getting up early to pray every morning and that was a great season that I miss in some ways. It taught me to put Him first. But, I wouldn’t exchange today’s challenges for a place of greater comfort-God keeps moving us on!

IF YOU COULD ONLY HAVE 5 POSSESSIONS TO LIVE WITH FOREVER WHAT WOULD THEY BE? (& WHY)

1. My iPhone! Obviously I do EVERYTHING on my phone. We have a true love relationship. I read my Bible, write all my notes and do my planning on it, etc... this really counts for loads of possessions in one?! 2. Black skinny jeans. I wear it way too often. 3. Face cream, preferably BB SPF15 because it’s such a quick fix. 4. Trainers. Exercise really is magic Especially crossfit. 5. A hair straightener. Trust me-I need it! #frizzattack

Anne-Marie Kibuta

ANNE-MARIE, WHAT ARE YOUR 3 TOP TIPS ON HACKING STAGE NERVES?

1. Realising that your confidence comes from Jesus! I’m not someone who likes to stand on stage in front of people, I was very nervous at first, but as I started to set aside time to be in the presence of God, to walk in the Spirit and study the Word..Jesus showed me I had nothing to fear or be nervous about! 2. Be prepared! This applies in every situation! You could be asked to do a presentation at school, but if you haven’t taken the time to know your stuff, you won’t be as confident as you would like to be! 3. Relax and Enjoy what you are doing! #SHE EXPLOSION 138

WHAT FIRST ATTRACTED YOU TO SAMI? HOW DID YOU KNOW HE WAS THE ONE?

Haha! well as some people may know; Sami has a way with words! I definitely think he used a few of his chat up lines when we first went into courtship. (I needed a bit of convincing that he was the ‘One’!) But on a serious note, one thing that was very apparent to me back then (and still is!) was his willingness to go the extra mile for Jesus, he was always ready to put others needs before his and totally committed to serving in the House of God, which is what I’ve always found attractive about him! How did I know Sami was the one?? I used to ask myself this question often before I met Sami! It’s so awesome to have a relationship with the Holy Spirit as He will reveal ALL things to you!! One afternoon Sami had invited me to go for coffee - Sami and I weren’t close friends so I knew something was up when he said he wanted to meet. As soon as I went inside and saw him, immediately the Holy Spirit revealed to me that he was my husband...I thought I’d heard wrong because I had never seen Sami in that way, but that wasn’t the case! The next thing I knew Sami and I spoke to our Pastors/ leadership and they also agreed it was a God lead decision for us to get married! The rest is history!

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Andrea Ridgely

ANDREA, WHAT WAS LIKE ON YOUR FIRST DATE WITH PASTOR STEPHEN?

Oh my goodness! Everything was awkward! From the first hug to eating in front of him! When you do things God’s way there is so much excitement and newness, you become like a little girl again - well I did anyway. We didn’t really have an official first date, it was more me being invited to his house for a BBQ. I psyched myself up and probably changed my outfit 10 times as he kept changing the time I should arrive at his house, so he kept me waiting but when I eventually arrived it was fine, it was lots of laughs and jokes and we had a fun day!

HAS HAVING A BABY AFFECTED YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD (HOW & WHY)?

Yes! My baby was in the special baby unit for a few days after he was born and I remember him lying on a little machine and a feeling of overwhelming love came over me that I had for this little baby and I thought, ‘God if this is how I feel about my baby then I can only start to imagine how much love you have for your children.’ I knew God loved us but for the first time I felt how much! Since then I’ve really tried to press into a more real and loving relationship with God. As a mum now, you have better and then not so good days in terms of your time availability, your life is just not as it used to be. But ultimately having a baby has changed my life and my relationship with God for the better. I am beyond blessed and thank Jesus everyday for my precious gift and as a result have a much bigger compassion and heart for other people and the vision God has placed me in.

WITH SPECIAL THANKS

to all the teams who volunteered their time to make this day special and without whom it could not have been possible to host such an incredible event.

CONFERENCE HOST Pastor Karen Marais - We love you Pastor!

EVENT ORGANISERS Tulena Erasmus & Team

DÉCOR & VENUE LIAISON Isabel Engelbrecht & Team

WELCOMING & REGISTRATION Nadia Davis | Adele Lubbe | Ronelle Bosch & Team

HOSPITALITY Juanita Holmes & Team

MERCHANDISE Ronelle Bosch | Andrea Ridgely & Team

KIDS MINISTRY Tegan Burling & Team

MUM AND BABY SUPPORT Catherine Bellardi & Team

SOUND Adim Mordi & Team

LIGHTS Pieter de Waal & Team

USHERS Ad Foster & Team

WHAT INSPIRES YOU EVERYDAY?

This vision that we are part of has so many inspiring women leaders; we are blessed with leaders such as Ps Nyretta and Ps Karen our own true high heeled warriors! These ladies inspire me even just through their daily social media posts, their wisdom and sharing their lives with us. CRC London has changed my life. Well, ultimately God has changed my life as He saved me but if it wasn’t for a local church with a vision as we have, I wouldn’t be where I am today. So this vision & our leaders inspire me daily!

SECURITY Paul Bosch & Team

SERVICE COORDINATORS Adele Lubbe & Team

WORSHIP Norman Vorster & Team

VIP EXPERIENCE Jessica Carelse & Team

MEDIA & CREATIVE ARTS Pastor Frits Engelbrecht & Team

SOCIAL MEDIA Esther Mbugua & Team

EDITORIAL Tyélle Render & Team

PHOTOGRAPHY Heline Bekker & Team #SHE EXPLOSION 139