It Makes No Never Mind

by James Nalley

At the time of this publication, summer in Maine (along with its crowds, peak prices, and weather) will be winding down. As for the Western Lakes and Mountains region, it naturally brings in both residents and tourists aiming to enjoy the outdoors. However, there is still a quiet serenity to the area, with a small-time feel that differs from the busier coastal cities. For those who want to experience something extra in the region, there are several sights and events to consider.

First, no Maine region would be complete without a good old-fashioned country fair. In this regard, this region offers one of the oldest and best: the Fryeburg Fair. Held annually at the end of September/early October, it the largest in the state and second in New England. This eight-day fair hosts more than 3,000 animals, including prize-winning draft horses, racing horses, oxen, dairy and beef cattle, etc. Of course, there is food and entertainment (both day and night), with fun events such as the skillet and anvil throw, pig scrambles, and rides. This year’s event will be October 1-8. More information can be found at www.fryeburgfair.org.

Second, for something a little quieter, there is the McLaughlin Garden and Homestead in South Paris. Named “Maine’s Loveliest” by Coastal Home Magazine, it began in 1936 and is full of wildflowers, perennials, and approximately 200 varieties of lilac, making it New England’s largest collection. It offers year-round educational programs and events and welcomes more than 10,000 visitors annually. According to the foundation that manages it, “It is primarily a wooded oasis in the middle of an otherwise concrete and asphalt strip. Just as urban parks play a significant conservation role in cities, the McLaughlin Garden offers a similar, essential resource to our rural community.” More information can be found at www.mclaughlingarden.org.

Third, for something a bit different, the town of Bryant Pond is particularly proud of a fun fact: They were the last people in the United States to use handcranked telephones. If you thought that hand-cranked telephones went out with silent movies, Bryant Pond used them until 1983. To celebrate such pride, they unveiled a 14-foot-tall, jet-black candlestick telephone with a large crank. Weighing 3,000 pounds, it was built by local sculptor Gil Whitman and unveiled in 2008. It is located on the south side of Hwy 26/Main St., just west of the post office. It also stands only a couple of blocks away from the town’s three-story outhouse (obviously superior to the two-story model), indicating that the town enjoyed pushing technological boundaries as well.

At this point, let me close with the following jest: A young man wanted to invite his girlfriend to their farm, but was embarrassed by the old-fashioned outdoor toilet. He kept bickering his father for a modern, indoor one, but he refused. Out of sheer desperation, the young man slips out at night, places dynamite behind the toilet and blows the entire structure up. The next morning at breakfast, his father asks him if he was the one who destroyed the toilet, while reminding him of the story of George Washington, the cherry tree, and honesty. “Yes, Dad, it was me,” sighed the boy. “I’m glad you are so honest,” said his father. “Now as punishment, you have to start digging a new pit by hand and build a new one immediately.” “But Dad!” protests the boy, “when George Washington admitted it was he who cut the tree, his father didn’t punish him!” “Yes, you’re right,” said his father. “But George’s father wasn’t in the cherry tree when he cut it down!”