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Creating Loving Relationships that Thrive
Gentling Grief Remedies to Heal the Heart
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February 2015 | South Central Wisconsin Edition | AwakeMadison.com
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letterfrompublisher
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oday I am thinking about my first love, my 8-yearold heartthrob, Cherie K (I was 9). We had fun acting out plays, discovered at our local library, on inclement Saturday afternoons. Aside from her niceness and prettiness, her willingness to play-act at my request warrants her irremovably fond place in my heart. To this day, she remains a warmly colored patch in the tapestry of my life. I was heartbroken when Cherie moved to Oceanside, California, with her father’s transfer to the Marine base there. For a while she sent letters and pictures about her trips to the sunny palm-studded beach in that otherwise nondescript seaside town. Eventually, though, we lost touch and both moved on. To this day I miss having this special person in my life and wonder what would have developed had we continued to live close. By happenstance, some years later I came to live in Oceanside for a time. I asked myself if this was self-determined destiny, forged from a subconscious vision of redeeming an unrequited love. I wanted to look up my first love but didn’t know where to start and figured she must have married along the way. Still, who knows; with the ready communication of today’s Internet, perhaps our paths will cross again. I believe my time in Oceanside contributed to healing that loss and allowed me to continue to embrace life as precious gift and wondrous journey. Our February issue’s dual themes of Enlightened Relationships and Healing from Grief perhaps inspire a pause to contemplate and reflect on the power of healing to forward enlightened relationship. With this issue I celebrate the first anniversary of my light-filled relationship with all of you! It has been an awesome year of growth and learning and thanks to all of you the future is bright for our Natural Awakenings community in South Central Wisconsin. Our readers, advertisers, production team and others make this adventure possible. We are grateful for everyone and could not do it without you. Meanwhile, the Natural Awakenings Publishing Corporation national staff continues to provide invaluable guidance as I acquire and practice the numerous skills necessary to flourish as one of nearly 100 publishers around the country. Thank you all. Thank you for choosing to support Natural Awakenings as we daily endeavor to support your interests in health, wellness, beauty and green living. I have utmost admiration and respect for you. You are dear to me and I’m glad you keep coming back. To enlightenment and healing,
Donald Don Donnie Beran, Publisher
contact us Publisher Donald Beran Creative Developer Jasper Dayton 608-334-5480 Jasper@AwakeMadison.com Editors Lauressa Nelson Julianne Hale Tisha Temple Design & Production Melanie Rankin Distribution Koari Nelson Donald Beran
To contact Natural Awakenings Phone: 608-721-2254 Fax: 866-645-4412 P.O. Box 3394 Madison, WI 53704 Publisher@AwakeMadison.com AwakeMadison.com © 2015 by Natural Awakenings. All rights reserved. Although some parts of this publication may be reproduced and reprinted, we require that prior permission be obtained in writing. Natural Awakenings is a free publication distributed locally and is supported by our advertisers. It is available in selected stores, health and education centers, healing centers, public libraries and wherever free publications are generally seen. Please call to find a location near you or if you would like copies placed at your business. We do not necessarily endorse the views expressed in the articles and advertisements, nor are we responsible for the products and services advertised. We welcome your ideas, articles and feedback.
SUBSCRIPTIONS Subscriptions are available by sending $36 (for 12 issues) to the above address. Natural Awakenings is printed on recyclable newsprint with soybased ink.
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contents 10 7 newsbriefs 10 healthbriefs 1 1 globalbriefs 18 wisewords 11 20 healingways 22 greenliving
24 naturalpet
25 inspiration
20 26 healthykids 28 calendar 29 resourceguide advertising & submissions HOW TO ADVERTISE To advertise with Natural Awakenings or request a media kit, please contact us at 608-721-2254 or email Publisher@AwakeMadison.com. Medit kit with advertising prices can also be found on our website. Deadline for ads: 12th of the month. EDITORIAL SUBMISSIONS Email articles, news items and ideas to: Publisher@AwakeMadison.com. Deadline for editorial: the 5th of the month. CALENDAR SUBMISSIONS Deadline for calendar: the 12th of the month. Email your formatted listing to Publisher@AwakeMadison.com. REGIONAL MARKETS Advertise your products or services in multiple markets! Natural Awakenings Publishing Corp. is a growing franchised family of locally owned magazines serving communities since 1994. To place your ad in other markets call 239-449-8309. For franchising opportunities call 239-530-1377 or visit NaturalAwakeningsMag.com.
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Natural Awakenings is your guide to a healthier, more balanced life. In each issue readers find cutting-edge information on natural health, nutrition, fitness, personal growth, green living, creative expression and the products and services that support a healthy lifestyle.
14 HAPPILY COUPLED Creating Loving Relationships that Thrive by Judith Fertig
18 CONSCIOUS DATING Jill Crosby on Looking for Love Online by S. Alison Chabonais
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20 GENTLING GRIEF
Remedies to Heal the Heart by Kathleen Barnes
22 ECO FENG SHUI
Tips to Bring More Positive Energy into Your Home by Sarah Tarver-Wahlquist
24 WHEN YOUR
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PET PASSES
A Guide to Mourning, Remembering and Healing by Julianne Hale
25 WHAT’S IN
YOUR WAY?
Obstacles Point the Path to Wholeness and Healing by Deborah Shouse
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26 EASE ADHD
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NATURALLY
Nine Ways to Help Restore Calm and Focus by Jenna Blumenfeld
newsbriefs
coverartist
New Yorker Brings TraumaHealing Practice to Madison
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my Pearce-Hayden, an experienced registered yoga teacher, now offers therapeutic yoga in Madison. The former New Yorker relocated to Madison in late fall to return to her Midwest roots and spread her growing business westward. Since beginning her yogic journey in 1995, PearceHayden has built a booming New York yoga studio, Amy Pearce-Hayden trained and certified yoga teachers, acted as a regular contributor for Yoga International magazine, launched a successful online yoga video series and developed the BalancePointMethod for physical and emotional trauma healing, an accomplishment that she is very proud of. Between travelling monthly to New York for lectures and leading international destination healing retreats, Pearce-Hayden has already begun a private practice in Madison. Her system combines bodywork and intentional, supportive goal-setting in a one-to-one approach. “In the last decade I have seen a need and desire for everyday, down-to-earth tools for the modern holistic person arising,” she explains. “The BalancePointMethod is just that.” For more information or to book an appointment, contact Amy directly at 845-629-0459 or PearceHayden@comcast.net. See ad, page 25.
Wildwood Institute Introduces Herbal Throat ReLeaf
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ildwood Institute, in Madison, is offering Throat ReLeaf, a new herbal throat spray. A combination of echinacea and osha roots, the spray reduces the pain and inflammation of a sore throat due to infections or allergies. The antibacterial, antiviral and antimicrobial properties of these herbs help kill pathogens and certain bacteria that cause sore throat and respiratory infections. Additionally, the anti-catarrhal properties help reduce the excess mucous associated with pollen, grass, food, animal dust and mold allergies. Echinacea stimulates the immune system while osha helps reduce the symptoms of allergies such as itchy, watery eyes, runny nose, coughing and sneezing. When taken before a performance or speaking presentation, this spray soothes and opens the throat.
Cost: $18 for a 2 oz. bottle. To purchase the product, visit WildwoodInstitute.com. For more information, call 608-663-9608 or email Kathleen@WildwoodInstiture.com See ad, page 8.
Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home... it’s your responsibility to love it or change it. ~Chuck Palahniuk
Four Hearts Mac Worthington Born and raised in Canton, Ohio, cover artist Mac Worthington cites a number of powerful influences on his bold art, from a creative upbringing to his experiences in the military. Worthington’s father, John “Jack” Worthington, was well-known for his bronze sculptures; specifically, busts of movie stars and sports figures in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, in Canton. His mother, Marion Worthington, was skilled in enameling and silver work. Serving in the jungles of Vietnam at age 19, Worthington interpreted the emotive experiences of war into powerful expressions of art, further influenced by the music of the 1960s. A self-taught welder, Worthington uses steel, iron and aluminum to create massive outdoor sculptures. Worthington has participated in more than 100 exhibits across the United States, Canada, England, Ireland, France, Italy, Spain and Germany. He maintains a prominent gallery in the arts district of Columbus, Ohio, as well as a sculpture park at his private estate in rural Delaware County. View the artist’s portfolio at MacWorthington.com.
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newsbriefs Fourth Annual Midwest Women’s Herbal Conference in Wisconsin
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he fourth annual Midwest Women’s Herbal Conference will be held June 5, 6 and 7, at Camp Helen Brachman, in Almond, Wisconsin, between Milwaukee and Minneapolis, Minnesota. Guest speakers include herbalists and authors presenting topics relevant to novice and experienced herbalists. Dr. Jody Noe, Leslie Tierra and many other speakers complement the more than 60 workshops that the conference has to offer along with plant walks and a kids and teen camp. Serving the Great Lakes and beyond, the conference is a “wholistic” gathering of the feminine, including a wide spectrum of Midwest herbalists and Earth-based speakers. Topics include herbs for family health, wild edibles, fermentation, permaculture, movement, herbal wisdom the Wise Woman way and much more. Activities include swimming, evening entertainment, a marketplace, film screenings and roundtable discussions on building herbal communities. In addition, the Red Tent is a communal space, invoking the spirit of generations of women and celebrating their inner wisdom. In addition to the main conference, five longer preconference workshops will focus on Herbal First-Aid, Herbs for Lyme Disease, Tongue and Pulse Diagnosis, Herbs for Body Systems and Holistic Sexuality.
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For more information, visit Midwest WomensHerbal.com. This event is sponsored in part by Natural Awakenings. Win tickets at NAChicago.com/ CHI/contests. See ad, page 19.
Third Annual Natural Family Expo at Monona Terrace
Great Circle Collaborative Hosts Conversations on Death and Dying
he third annual Natural Family Expo (previously Natural Parenting Expo) will be held from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., March 8, at the Monona Terrace, in Madison. The expo is designed to connect families, build community and introduce attendees to local resources. Bounce houses, trampolines, face painting, recycled craft stations and other fun activities are planned, along with the opportunity to explore the wonder of physics and learn about natural resources and businesses in our community. The Madison Children’s Museum will present an interactive exhibit for the families and children’s entertainer David Landeau will perform a live broadcast on WORT radio. Concessions will be provided by Monona Terrace with healthy food options. Sponsored by Blue River Chiropractic, Happy Bambino, Wildwood Clinics and Willy Street Co-op, this event is put on by the Natural Parenting Network, owned by Alison Dodge, of Happy Bambino, and Kimberly Zahasky, of Blue River Chiropractic.
he Great Circle Collaborative, a small group with an interest in matters related to the end of life, will host Community Conversations on Death and Dying, from 7 to 9 p.m., February 24 and March 24, at EVP Coffee House, in Madison. Coffee, tea and treats will be provided. Most find it difficult to talk about matters related to death and dying. We know it is important, but in our culture, this topic is generally considered off limits until it is staring us in the face. As a result, we have few opportunities to discuss something that we will all experience, leaving us unaware and unprepared when the time comes. Community Conversations on Death and Dying is a unique opportunity to explore beliefs, questions, emotions and experiences in a safe and open environment. Monthly gatherings are hosted by experienced facilitators from The Great Circle Collaborative. Using the Death Café model, the group gathers together to look deeply into various issues related to death and dying and the way they impact our lives.
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Cost: adults $6, kids $4. Half-price tickets available in advance online. Location: 1 John Nolan Dr. For more information or to purchase advanced tickets, visit NaturalFamily Expo.com. See ad, page 8.
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Donations accepted. Location: 3809 Mineral Point Rd. For more information or to RSVP (appreciated), email Steven@StevenSpiro.com.
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healthbriefs
Satisfaction with Friendship is Hard to Come By
A HEALTHY APPROACH TO INTESTINAL MAINTENANCE
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study conducted by Edge Research and Sea Change Strategies found that less than a quarter of Americans are fully satisfied with their friendships, and almost two-thirds lack confidence in even their closest friends. Seniors (70 and over) and millennials/Gen Ys (16 to 34) are more likely to be extremely satisfied than Gen X-ers (35 to 49) or baby boomers (50 to 69), indicating the existence of a midlife friendship slump. The research was based on a self-reported survey of 1,016 Americans ages 16 and up. Across all demographics, people that report they have more close friends feel happier and are more fulfilled than those that say they have few or no friends. The majority also prefer deeper friendships with fewer friends over just having more friends. Qualities that most people look for in friends are loyalty, honesty, goodness and reliability in a crisis. Among the attributes considered least important are similar political or religious views and physical attractiveness, which ranked last. The use of social media appears unrelated to the number or quality of friendships or overall friendship satisfaction. People that attend religious services at least once a week are twice as likely to be completely satisfied with their friendships than those that rarely or never attend such services. The researchers concluded, “Those seeking more fulfillment from their friendships should invest disproportionate time and energy in the relationships they consider close.”
Marriage is Good for the Heart
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esearch from the New York University School of Medicine found that married people have significantly less cardiovascular disease (CVD) than those that are divorced, widowed or otherwise single. The study used data on the rates of CVD from the health surveys of more than 3.5 million men and women collected at 20,000 U.S. medical centers. Married people under 50 had 12 percent lower incidence of heart disease than single people. Married couples between 51 and 60 years old had a 7 percent lower risk, while those over 60 had a 4 percent lower risk. The results were presented at the 2014 scientific sessions of the American College of Cardiology. Researcher and cardiologist Jeffrey Berger recommends that doctors show increased diligence for single patients: “If one of my patients is recently widowed or divorced, I’m increasingly vigilant about examining them for signs of any type of cardiovascular disease and depression,” he says.
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S
mall intestinal bacterial overgrowth (SIBO) is a condition in which too many and the wrong kinds of bacteria inhabit the small intestine, or small bowel, usually due to another condition that interferes with normal intestinal activity. Bacteria are allowed to stay overlong and multiply or even spread backward from the colon into the small intestine. The results may include constipation, bloating, abdominal pain, fatigue and even anemia, because iron and vitamin B12 are absorbed here. Allopathic medicine usually kills off the overgrowth with antibiotics that tend to stay in the intestinal tract. The small intestine is then reseeded with healthy probiotics to establish the proper balance of gut bacteria essential to the absorption of nutrients and the production of some natural vitamins. Steven Frank, founder of Nature’s Rite, advises that as a more natural alternative, some naturopathic practitioners are using an enhanced aqueous silver colloid to kill off the overgrowth before reseeding. According to the Encyclopedia of Herbal Medicine, after using either technique, it helps to ingest herbs such as plantain, licorice, marshmallow and slippery elm bark, as well as aloe, to heal the damage. For more information, call 888465-4404 or visit NaturesRite Remedies.com. See ad, page 9.
globalbriefs News and resources to inspire concerned citizens to work together in building a healthier, stronger society that benefits all.
European Eco-Cooperation Linking Oceans and Human Health
EurOcean 2014, convened by the Italian Presidency of the Council of the European Union, the European Marine Board, the European Commission and three Italian partner institutions—the National Research Council, National Inter-university Consortium for Ocean Science and the National Institute of Oceanography and Experimental Geophysics—has issued the first of 18 priorities cited in a declaration that adds momentum to a European Marine Board report, Linking Oceans and Human Health (Tinyurl.com/ OceansAndHealth). Participants identified four high-level policy goals: valuing the ocean; capitalizing on European leadership; advancing ocean knowledge; and breaking scientific barriers. Newly discovered toxic nanoparticles and swelling micro-plastic marine pollution, with concerns emerging about higher seawater temperatures incubating chemical carcinogens, pose several new perils to human health. Jan Mees, chair of the European Marine Board, states, “To truly progress our knowledge, European scientists across a broad range of disciplines and domains must make a quantum leap towards holistic approaches and integrated research on a scale that will help us to much better understand, protect, manage and sustainably exploit the seas and oceans that surround us. This is a grand challenge; not just in Europe, but for human society as a whole.” Source: Eurocean2014.eu
Potent Promises
Climate Change Pledges Predict Progress President Obama and Chinese President Xi Jinping have both made ambitious pledges to combat climate change. Jinping pledged that China’s CO2 emissions would peak around 2030; the first time that Beijing has set such a target. Obama promised that by 2025, the U.S. will have reduced its emissions by 23 to 26 percent from 2005 levels, twice as much as Washington had previously offered. The carbon emission deal that has been reached between China and the United States is a promising breakthrough. The world’s biggest economies account for one-third of the planet’s emissions, so their initiative should help persuade other countries to reach a global emissions agreement at a United Nations climate summit next year in Paris. President Obama faces opposition in the Republican-controlled Congress, although aides say he can act unilaterally. Moreover, rapidly evolving energy conditions in the United States, from the increased supply of natural gas to the expansion of renewable energies, will ease the pain of carbon cuts.
Living Together
2014 Global Peace Index The world has become less peaceful over the last seven years, according to the 2014 Global Peace Index. It measures peace in 162 countries according to 22 indicators that gauge both the absence and fear of violence. This is the seventh year the index has been produced. Results from the 2014 Global Peace Index show that since 2008, 111 countries have deteriorated in levels of peace, while 51 increased. Europe retains its position as the most peaceful region, with 14 of the top 20 most peaceful countries. The world has become significantly less peaceful over the last year, mainly due to a rise in terrorist activity, conflicts being fought, and refugees and other displaced people. As for the human toll, 500 million people live in countries at risk of instability and conflict, 200 million of whom live below the poverty line. The global economic impact of violence reached $9.8 trillion last year, equal to twice the total gross domestic product of Africa. Visit VisionOfHumanity.org to explore the interactive peace map and download the report. Watch a video at Tinyurl.com/GlobalPeaceVideo.
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source: the350project.net
February 2015
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The study of breath is at the core of the inner school of Sufism. Murshid Wali Ali teaches you to energize breath for healing and transformation.
As within; so without. ~Greek philosopher Hermes Trismegistus
God is Breath: A Sufi Retreat with Murshid Wali Ali Meyer
Can Love and Marriage Co-Exist?
March 13 – 15, 2015 Tai Chi Center — Madison — Weekend $215.00 /single days available
A Quantum Physics Approach to Wedded Bliss Murshid Wali Ali
by Vivian R. Probst
Visit MadisonSufis.org for info and to register or call
608-338-0709 See Ruhaniat.org for more info on Murshid Wali Ali
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ebruary is love month; yet, for some, it can be incredibly painful; a time to be reminded of the heartache of not having love or a partner with whom to share it. With the divorce rate for first-time marriages holding steady at around 50 percent and higher estimates for the second and third go-rounds, is a trip to the altar the kiss of death to a relationship? Naturally, everyone is eager to avoid the pain and suffering of failed relationships. Quantum physics sheds some interesting light on love, and those interested in an enlightened relationship may find answers in this fascinating science. Quantum theory teaches that the world around us is our own creation and externally mirrors what we create inside our own inner universe of thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Nothing exists until we focus on it, according to some renowned physicists, such as Fred Allen Wolf, a participant in the film What the Bleep Do We Know. If the external world is a mirror of what’s going on inside a person’s psyche, it stands to reason that the only way to change what is occurring externally is to change it internally. A process for applying this concept to any problem was codified into four simple questions in Byron Katie’s book Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life. For a couple that has
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decided divorce is the only way out of the deep unhappiness caused by their marital problems, Katie’s first question probes, “Is it true?” The process goes on to investigate the statement with three more questions, followed by the chance to change their thoughts about the situation. Similarly, quantum physics suggests that each partner reflect internally and search for the parts of the problem that have arisen from personal, individual thoughts. Most of us prefer to blame others rather than take responsibility for our part in the process, but only by taking a personal approach will we be able to heal the hurt. If quantum physics is correct, and nothing can show up in either partner’s outer experience except as it is created by the separate and individual internal focus of each person, it would make sense to see if inner work will also resolve the problem. Instead of looking externally at love then, perhaps we should go inside to see if we truly feel worthy of love. We must ask if we love and appreciate ourselves. Perhaps checking inside will fix what’s going on outside. Vivian R. Probst is a trained linguist, a national consultant and trainer to the affordable housing industry and a published author. For more information, visit DeathByRoses.com.
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Happily Coupled Creating Loving Relationships that Thrive by Judith Fertig
“To be fully seen by somebody… and be loved anyhow— this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert
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t the conclusion of her bestselling memoir, Eat Pray Love, author Elizabeth Gilbert had fallen in love with Jose Nunes (called Felipe in the book), a Brazilian living in Indonesia. The divorced Gilbert, reluctant to have her heart broken again, had vowed never to remarry… yet ultimately changed her mind when U.S. immigration law presented her with multiple choices: marry so they could live together in this country, stay single and live as ex-pat partners or say goodbye to Nunes. Gilbert chose a marital partnership that suits the shared life they want: honest and, after years of travel, settled in one place. She says, “For the first time in my life, living in a small town with a lovely husband in an old house with
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a big garden and several pets, I feel absolutely rooted in a way I have never experienced before and never would have imagined even desiring. But it is what we want—at least for now—and we’re relishing that stability.” Gilbert records the process of going from two global wanderers falling in love to a married couple sharing domestic chores in her follow-up memoir, Committed: A Love Story.
Love Science
The spark that ignites such a partnership is love, which is “primarily about connection,” says Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., a positivity expert and author of Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do, and Become. “It’s vital to our health
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and happiness, affecting our brains and bodies at the cellular level. “We were born to love,” emphasizes Fredrickson, who also serves as a psychology professor and director of the Positive Emotions and Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. “The evidence comes from research that shows how our brain and nervous system are designed to enhance our chances of experiencing it.” When we share positive emotions with another person, experience a synchrony between their biochemistry and behaviors and ours, plus exhibit mutual care, love can bloom, whether we stay happily single or decide to pursue a committed relationship. She calls this triple-action sequence “positivity resonance”. Love, she observes, is less a smooth, solid path than momentary experiences of connection.
Making Love Last
The more areas of connection we have with our partners, the more opportunities we have to positively resonate every day, adds Frederickson. Thomas G. Plante, Ph.D., a psychology professor at California’s Santa Clara University and adjunct clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine, agrees. “Long-term relationships, like marriages, are partnerships in living,” according to Plante. “The vast majority of the time couples are together they’re not having hot sex, but are sharing a practical day-to-day life together.” Shared activities aren’t always exciting or glamorous. Raising children, working, managing a home, cooking and cleaning, shopping, being with friends and family and the rest of regular daily living is where the rubber meets the road in relationship satisfaction, observes Plante. “If couples aren’t compatible in these areas, then the connection and attraction will inevitably atrophy, tensions emerge and too often, relationships fracture and fall apart.” Compatibility means different things to different people, and requirements can change as individuals in a romantic partnership change over time. Compatibility also means agreement
that the relationship is worth the effort to nurture and sustain it.
Partnering Life’s Dance
Five couples in different stages of loving partnerships share how they make their special relationships work. The key to them all is shared values. Doing everything together. For newlyweds Drs. Josh and Chelsea Axe, of Nashville, Tennessee, a mutual commitment to vigorous wellness and physical fitness keeps them together. Says Josh, “The healthy lifestyle I have chosen to live is so important that I need someone who is able to not just agree, but also partner with me.” Married in 2012, the two chiropractic physicians went on to co-found the BurstFIT interval training program and meld their professional, as well as personal, lives. Chelsea notes, “There is truth to the phrase, ‘Couples that sweat together, stay together.’ When working out together, you share a specific energy you create while pushing yourself to your mental and physical limits. You have your partner right there doing it alongside you, knowing they’re supporting you; so when you each break through a mental or physical barrier in your workout, you step over together into a strength and confidence that carries over into your marriage. Being a part of each other’s goals and the struggles to reach them unifies us.” Remarks Josh, “I feel like we can both be successful individually, but when we’re a team, the outcome is synergistic.” Chelsea adds, “It’s never a mindset of ‘me.’ It’s always ‘us.’” Balancing work and play. Barbara and Bob Unell, of Leawood, Kansas, dated as teenagers, went their separate ways in college and then found each other again in their early 20s. “We went on a blind date in 1968 and both belted out songs on the car radio,” recalls Barbara. “I thought he had a great sense of humor and was fun to be with. All these years later, it feels like we’re still dating. We’re crazy about each other.” Both Barbara and Bob describe themselves as enthusiastic, playful, entrepreneurial, altruistic and geared toward creative projects, whether un-
“Seventy-five to 80 percent of all chemistry evaporates within six to eight months unless the relationship is significantly undergirded by deeper and more durable compatibility.” ~Neil Clark Warren dertaken together or separately. “We’re both, ‘Let’s try this,’ sort of people,” says Barbara with a laugh. When the Unells had twins, now grown, they realized there was no national publication addressing how to parent multiples, so they launched Twins magazine in 1984. Bob founded and managed an advertising agency while Barbara wrote bestselling parenting books, but the whole family traveled together on her speaking engagements. In response to becoming a breast cancer survivor, Barbara founded the nonprofit Back in the Swing in 2000 to support survivorship care at cancer centers. When they needed additional staff, Bob joined the team in 2009. One of the biggest things that Barbara has learned from Bob is, “You can make work fun.” “Although we come from different backgrounds, Bob and I know the power of mutual respect, trust and kindness,” reflects Barbara. “Part of our connection is that we have shared history and never take each other for granted.”
Making long-distance work. Lisa Ekus, who runs the full-service culinary talent agency The Lisa Ekus Group, in Hatfield, Massachusetts, had been married twice and already raised her two children when she met Atlanta Chef Virginia Willis. They got to know each other through culinary events and to their surprise, fell in love. Over the past six years they’ve evolved a relationship that works for them—keeping a deep personal connection, but maintaining separate residences. Cookbook author Willis gardens, develops recipes and writes for her Food Network blog, “Down Home Comfort,” at Ekus’ New England compound in the summers; Ekus travels to the South during cold months. They also meet up as often as they can at conferences, food and wine festivals and other events during the rest of the year. “We are both smart, professional women who love what we do, have strong ethics and a high level of self-expectation in how we work,” says Ekus. “We are also best friends and work together professionally. The respect we have for each other and our work is instrumental in our relationship.” “We often joke about the North/ South, fast/slow cultural difference,” Ekus notes. “I’m more spontaneous; Virginia is more thoughtful in her responses. I tend to move fast and focus on checking off items, while Virginia is more about the journey and being in the moment. It often makes us each take stock and consider what we’re doing and saying.” They make the geographic separation work despite its inherent longdistance complications via consistent communication, saying good morning and good night every day by phone and texting often. They hold regular agent/author meetings to make professional plans and personal calendar meetings at least weekly, recognizing and respecting what is important to each of them.
Bridging the age gap. Karen and Dick Eagle, from St. Louis, Missouri, are 16 years apart in age, but are close in the ways that count. Both are strongminded and still vie to get their own way even after 30 years of marriage. “We argue over the stupidest things, natural awakenings
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and then resolve our “Marriages based on back and easy to be with, I can relax,” says disagreements and a mutual desire to Susan. Michael, on realize how good we have it,” says Karen. serve and inspire grow the other hand, always seemed to fill a room. What first atcontinually in richness Jake helps Susan with tracted them to each other—and keeps and beauty, and are chores around the property and she is them together—is a a benediction to all always there cheering love of playful fun and good times with who know of them.” him on from the front row when he performs friends. Karen reat local venues. marks, “I knew Dick ~ Meher Baba was ‘the one’ when he jumped flat-footed over a wingback Cultivating Care chair at a friend’s house. That showed Working out as a couple, sharing a me that he was young at heart.” creative project or making a gour Making ends meet. Eleven years met meal together can do more than ago, when family therapist Susan Frankkeep partners feeling connected. lin lost her husband, Michael, a univerShared activities also keep the positive sity college professor, she felt bereft and experiences ongoing and resonating. overwhelmed. The pair had owned a “That special bond and the commitcountry property near Cleveland, Ohio, ments people often build around it where they boarded horses. Susan realare the products of love, the results of ized, “I couldn’t keep the many smaller moments in which up with everything on love infuses you,” mainmy own,” and Jake tains Fredrickson. Such Marshall, a musician moments not only friend of Michael’s, accumulate, but offered to help. Over can also be stored time, Susan and Jake in memory and became close, and banked to feed a they now live relationship during together. the tougher times. Although “Love is someJake is a great thing we should supporter in many re-cultivate every ways, he’s not in day,” she says. A a position to help loving partnership financially. Susan is always a work depends on her late in progress. husband’s insurance and pension benefits, which Judith Fertig is a freelance writer from she would lose if she Overland Park, KS. remarries. “Jake is so laid
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Conscious Compatibility
N
eil Clark Warren, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and co-founder of the eHarmony relationship website, believes there are at least 29 personality dimensions—such as anger management skills, intelligence, feelings about children, energy and ambition—that comprise who we are and play a role in maintaining a relationship. Key personality dimensions include interests and activities, guiding principles and philosophies, expressions of emotional experience, tendencies toward togetherness and separateness, goals and familial and other relationships. Warren suggests categorizing desired qualities in a mate into three lists: non-negotiables, qualities that are top priority and deal breakers; semi-negotiables that are important, yet flexible secondary priorities; and negotiables that are subject to tradeoffs for more important qualities.
Only do what your heart tells you. ~Princess Diana
–– Advertorial ––
BRINGING MORE THAN HOMEWORK HOME By Ryan Hogan It’s the time of year when we send our kids back to school from the holidays. Unfortunately, while schools are good places to learn they are great places to catch a disease. In fact, children’s Upper respiratory illnesses (URI’s) cause more doctor visits and missed school days than any other illness in the US. Luckily, there are a few things you can do at home to help reduce the chances of your child getting sick at school this year.
sanitizer before eating snacks, lunch and after using a shared computer mouse, pencil sharpener, water fountain or other community objects. Now, most people know we need to wash our hands, but one thing most people don’t really relate their health to is nasal hygiene. Using a saline spray with xylitol, such as Xlear Nasal Spray, is safe for all ages. Research has shown this natural sweetener is useful in preventing bacterial otitis media (ear infections), among other upper respiratory problems that are most likely to occur in fall and winter months. Additional xylitol studies have also shown a significant reduction in asthma attacks when a xylitol nasal spray is used on a daily basis. Xylitol affects nose and throat bacteria in two ways:
HOW? Before we talk prevention, we need to know how infection spreads. Many childhood illnesses are caused by viruses and bacteria that are transferred from person to person. URI’s increase in fall and winter as we spend more time crowded indoors. All it takes is one sick child, going to school for the spread to begin. Small droplets from a child’s cough or sneeze travel through the air and land on surfaces like desks, doorknobs and people. These germs are easily spread when someone touches the contaminated object and then proceeds to touch their eyes, nose or mouth. Children’s immune systems are less mature than those of adults, so they’re more vulnerable to these germs. Washing your hands and your nasal passages and also keeping their hands away from their nose, eyes and mouth are the most preventative habits to form at a young age.
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Decreases the adherence of harmful bacteria on their surface cells.
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Stimulates the body’s own natural defense system
Since the average American child has six to ten colds a year, using a xylitol nasal spray is a safe and effective way to promote better upper respiratory health, year round. FINAL HEALTHY TIPS In addition to frequent hand-washing, teach your child some other school health basics:
WHAT CAN YOU DO? Our best defense is to stop cold germs where they breed. Good hand-washing is the most effective way to prevent bacteria and viruses from spreading. Wash your hands after using the bathroom, blowing your nose, handling trash and prior to touching food to help eliminate germs. Soap and water should be used for 20 seconds (about as long as it takes to sing the “Happy Birthday” song twice). Using alcohol-based hand cleaners is also effective. Remind your child to use the
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Cover your mouth and nose when you cough or sneeze.
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Give your child a package of tissues to keep in his or her desk.
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Encourage your child not to share water bottles, food or other personal items.
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Ask your child’s teacher to include hand-washing time before lunch or snacks.
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Have your whole family practice nasal hygiene and the use of xylitol saline spray like Xlear.
Even with all of these tips, your kids are bound to come down with something over the course of the school year. We all get sick at some point or another, forming healthier habits and maintaining a positive attitude is all we can do as parents. For more information, please visit www.xlear.com. natural awakenings February 2015
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Eliminate Your Pain and Live In Pure Joy
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Conscious Dating
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When Chicago University psychologists surveyed 20,000 people that were married between 2005 and 2012, they found that a third had met online. Half of them met through Internet dating, the rest via chat rooms and social networking sites. Of all the couples still married, those that met online rated themselves happier.
J
ill Crosby, owner and founder of the Conscious Dating Network, has focused on spiritual development and meditation for more than 30 years. Working as a director for the granddaddy of the original onsite photo/video dating companies, which included interviewing 6,000-plus singles, sparked a desire to create a venue for spiritually conscious singles to meet. So, 15 years ago, she created her flagship online dating site, SpiritualSingles.com. NaturalAwakeningsSingles.com, launched two years ago as part of the network, shares the same database of members as SpiritualSingles.com and many affiliated conscious dating sites in the network. Today, the Conscious Dating Network is the largest of its kind. From Mount Shasta, California, Crosby leads a team of specialists that care for members’ needs and provide a loving, inspiring site for singles to meet their beloveds.
How has online dating continued to evolve and what trends do you see now?
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The stigma about meeting someone online has completely dissolved as success stories have become so common. It’s like shopping online—you can look at many different varieties and styles to find exactly what you are looking for, rather than physically searching store after store hoping to find something you like. Technology has made a tremendous difference in price, accessibility and reach. Today, members post selfies as headshots, shoot their own videos and can access potential matches anywhere in the world.
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I used to think longdistance relationships didn’t stand a chance. However, with Skype and a willingness to relocate, many of our success stories start as longdistance connections. Video chatting is a great way to assess common values and get to know someone on a deep level before traveling to meet in person.
What distinguishes conscious dating sites like Natural AwakeningsSingles.com from mainstream sites? Natural Awakenings Singles is a niche dating site for those that are conscious, spiritual and green. Singles with specific interests, passions and lifestyles usually prefer niche dating sites because they allow for more targeted search results, provided that the member database is large enough. Our database of more than 90,000 members globally is considered large for a niche. Mainstream sites may have more members; however, they require far more time and effort in sorting through profiles to find those with whom we might have something in common. Natural Awakenings Singles is also much more generous than conventional pay models, in that free members can read and reply to personal messages and live instant messages sent from subscribing members. Most mainstream sites make members pay to read and reply to messages. Our primary goal is for our singles to become couples—to facilitate the tremendous amount of success our members experience, we do many things differently.
Have you seen any overall differences in the success stories the Conscious Dating Network facilitates? Yes, our members usually connect on a deeper, “soul-to-soul” level and tend to understand that chemistry comes in all shapes and sizes. Our success story couples oftentimes have the feeling that they are destined to be together. We encourage members to listen to their inner guidance in regard to whom to contact, be grateful in advance and stay in their divine flow. When members tune in and act from this space, miracles happen. Many of our “destined” couples go on to do amazing projects together, like opening retreat centers, writing books, facilitating workshops, starting intentional communities, creating nonprofit organizations and other beautiful ventures that neither of them would have necessarily done alone. The power of two seems to be exponentially greater.
What have proved to be your all-time favorite tips for online dating success? By healing past traumas, loving and forgiving ourselves, and embodying our divine presence as much as possible, deep-seated feelings of unworthiness fall away and we emanate our true radiance, thus magnetizing a partner equally empowered and awake. When we are in a place of personal power, there is no being shy or procrastinating. Imagine how it would be once you have met the love of your life, and focus on those feelings while browsing and reading profiles. When you notice a strong inner nudge to contact someone, do it. If it’s not mutual, that’s OK; don’t take it personally. That’s part of the beauty of online dating; the pool is large, and when the feeling and knowingness is mutual, you might just be starting a life together. “In-joy” the process, be positive and choose to make it a fun adventure! Joining NaturalAwakeningSingles.com includes access to all members of all the Conscious Dating Network sites. S. Alison Chabonais is the national content editor for Natural Awakenings magazines.
Join us for the 4th Annual Conference
Nourishing Our Roots and Healing From the Ground Up June 5, 6 and 7, 2015 (preconference workshops on June 5 begin at 9:30am)
Held at Camp Helen Brachman in Almond, WI A retreat and learning space offering workshops for women new to herbalism, as well as experienced herbalists. Preconference immersions, 40 workshops, plant walks, drumming, dancing, red tent, movie screenings, talent show, kids and teens herbal camps, herbal marketplace, delicious local food, community and much more! Experience herbal wisdom the Wise Woman way!
Featured Guests: Dr. Jody Noe and Lesley Tierra Registration for the weekend as well as preconference workshops is available on our website:
www.midwestwomensherbal.com
Nothing is more POWERFUL than a BELIEF in what you do ... Natural Awakenings is looking for an advertising consultant to sell advertising in the Madison area.
UP TO 60% COMMISSION This is a commission-based position, with great earning potential for the right person. Must be outgoing and must enjoy working one-on-one with area businesses. Must be patient (and motivated) enough to build from month to month. Must have a genuine desire to help others succeed.
608-721-2254 natural awakenings
February 2015
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healingways
the flood of adrenaline; Star of Bethlehem, for shock and loss; and Mimulus, for fear and anxiety. “Combining a few drops of each of these in a water bottle or tea several times a day helps you regain a feeling of balance,” Erwin says. She also likes drinking bloodcleansing noni juice to help wash adrenaline out of the body, and taking salt baths enhanced with lavender essential oil to literally “wash away the darkness.”
Gentling
GRIEF Remedies to
Emotional Aids
Heal the Heart by Kathleen Barnes
G
rief can arrive suddenly with the death of a loved one, serious illness, loss of a job, parental dementia or decaying relationship. In any case, it takes a toll. “Grief encompasses all of our thoughts and feelings. Mourning is when we put them into action by talking, crying, perhaps doing rituals,” explains Tracy Riley, a licensed clinical social worker and grief counselor in Jacksonville, Florida. “Grief isn’t something that’s over when you wake up one day,” Riley counsels. “It’s ridiculous when an employer gives you three days off and then expects everything to be fine.” She notes that time helps heal all wounds, but even a decade after losing a loved one, the pain can remain and life is never the same, although most of us learn to live with loss and move forward. “Some things can’t be fixed,” concludes Megan Devine, a psychotherapist in Portland, Oregon, and author of the audio book, When Everything is Not Okay, who blogs at RefugeInGrief. com. After witnessing the drowning death of her fiancé, she says, “I didn’t need to hear platitudes that everything would be OK. I needed something solid to hold onto when my whole world exploded.”
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Physical Aids
An unexpected death and any emotional shock is an extreme stressor that causes the adrenal glands to release a flood of adrenaline. Tina Erwin, La Mesa, California author of The Lightworker’s Guide to Healing Grief, explains, “If you get a shock when someone close to you dies, your adrenal glands are blown out almost instantly and you are overwhelmed with adrenaline, much like we often see in people with post-traumatic stress disorder. You need to rebalance your body chemistry.” Intense grief can sometimes show up as chest pain, a classic sign of heart attack, due to a temporary disruption of the heart’s normal pumping action from a surge in stress hormones, according to the National Institutes of Health. Yet Imperial College London scientists now have found that a recognizable “broken heart syndrome” may temporarily protect the heart from being overwhelmed with adrenaline. “Healing the physical side of grief ultimately helps healing on an emotional level, too,” says Erwin. To assist herself following the death of her 6-yearold niece from a sudden infection, she uses several Bach flower remedies for trauma—Rescue Remedy, to rebalance
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Riley views art and music therapy, plus journaling (a “personal roadmap” that helps chart her progress), as powerful healing tools. She’s also seen firsthand how animals can play a key role through the mourning process. Her miniature schnauzer intuitively approaches her clients that are anxious and grieving and gives them permission to pet him. “It puts people at ease,” she says. “Then they can talk more freely about their pain.” Numerous studies, starting in the 1980s, show that stroking a furry pet lowers blood pressure.
Charting a Personal Course
For the bereaved (literally defined as “torn apart”), the symptoms of grief are meant to slow us down, advises Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D., director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition, in Fort Collins, Colorado, and author of numerous related books, including Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart. Society expects bereaved people to “carry on, keep their chins up, be glad they had him/her as long as they did or else be grateful that our loved one’s pain is over”—all platitudes that are more hurtful than helpful, says Wolfelt. Mourning takes time, but it also requires a social context, he explains. “It’s the shared response to loss. If you isolate yourself, you are grieving, not mourning. You can’t do this on your own. It’s bigger than you.” For those that feel stuck or unable to move forward, experienced grief counselors may be able to help. Kathleen Barnes is the author of numerous health books, including Ten Best Ways to Manage Stress. Connect at KathleenBarnes.com.
natural awakenings
February 2015
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editorial calendar
2015
greenliving
JANUARY
whole systems health plus: energy boosters FEBRUARY
enlightened relationships plus: healing grief MARCH
animal rights
plus: new healthy cuisine APRIL
nature’s wisdom
plus: healthy home MAY
Eco Feng Shui
breast health
plus: natural birth JUNE
healing addiction
Tips to Bring More Positive Energy into Your Home
plus: balanced man JULY
food democracy
plus: inspired living AUGUST
by Sarah Tarver-Wahlquist
parenting with presence
W
plus: creativity SEPTEMBER
agelessness
plus: yoga benefits OCTOBER
working together
plus: natural antidepressants NOVEMBER
true wealth
plus: beauty DECEMBER
prayer & meditation plus: holiday themes
hen we’re hungry for change, we may feel the impulse to spruce up our living spaces. Rooms that feel cluttered, drab and unappealing drag on our energy. Applying the basic inspired tenets of the ancient Chinese art and science of feng shui can transform and re-energize any space, improving the way we feel. Translated as “wind and water,” feng shui—which has been creating healthy and harmonious environments since its origins 3,000 years ago—can activate our rethinking the arrangement, uses and tone of each room while bringing beneficial green changes home.
Feng Shui Basics When considering how to apply feng shui principles, it helps to have a trained practitioner make a map, or bagua, analyzing how energy, or chi, moves through a building. They will determine ways to help chi flow and settle in appropriate places to support all aspects of life. Recommended alterations typically start with furniture placement, color choices and key accessorizing. 22
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Sample bagua maps are available online for referencing. While a complete feng shui treatment may require major revamping, we can also take some low-cost steps to immediately create more harmony while eliminating toxins that are unhealthy and disrupt the energy flow.
Bring in Green “Bringing natural elements into a space will aid the circulation of chi, help achieve a balance and yield an indoor environment of peace and calm,” says feng shui practitioner Maureen Calamia, owner of Luminous Spaces, in St. James, New York. Feng shui categorizes the natural elements as water, metal, fire, earth and wood, reflected in items like stones, plants and water features, as well as art and wall decorations and paint colors. Filling a home with living plants is favored by many feng shui experts. “Surround yourself with green plants, including cuttings from the yard,” advises Debra Duneier, a feng shui master practitioner, certified eco-designer and author of EcoChi: Designing the
Human Experience, in New Flooring. Many toxins “Feng shui York City. “They bring enlurk in conventional carergy and life force into your is the original peting and adhesives used home, while also filtering eco-science.” to lay wood or tile floors. the air you breathe.” If Look for natural wool ~ Will LeStrange rugs, reclaimed wood and adding plants isn’t feasible, she recommends picking zero-VOC floor adhesives. up some fresh flowers each week. Preserve resources and alter the energy Remember to change the water every in a space by repurposing reclaimed day and dispose of the flowers at the materials for rehab projects. For good first sign of wilting (dying flowers bring feng shui, smudging with dried sage negative energy). cleanses any negative energy leftover from previous owners. Furnishings and fabrics. MainBanish Toxic Materials stream furniture is typically treated “Healthy indoor air quality is an essential with toxic flame retardant, so always aspect of good feng shui,” attests Alisa ask how furniture has been treated Rose Seidlitz, an eco feng shui consulbefore purchasing. Seek out nontoxic tant/designer, certified green building and natural materials like natural and interiors professional and owner of rubber mattresses and hemp or Ambiance Eco, in Berkeley, California. organic cotton shower curtains and “Materials used inside our homes, such window coverings. as cleaning products and furnishings, can either contribute significantly to poor air Follow Your Joy quality or support positive feng shui.” Indoor air quality is significantly Feng shui is multifaceted, but at its impacted by furnishings and décor. center is a search for balance and When seeking out the cleanest, greenharmony. When making changes est options, pay special attention to: at home, it’s good to know we can Cleaning products. Safely discard follow our instincts and add things toxic cleaning chemicals by taking that bring us joy. Feng shui experts them to hazardous waste pickup sites. provide guidance in choosing colors Many household jobs can be done with and elements, but each of us is ultivinegar and baking soda. mately the best judge of what feels Paint. Revisions in wall, trim and best for our own space. furniture colors quickly freshen a room “I often ask my clients: What kind and bring new energy, especially when of message are you sending yourself?” they align with Earth’s natural elesays Duneier. “You can use your space ments. Avoid conventional paint, which to send yourself a message of a beauticontains dangerous volatile organic ful, abundant and healthy life.” compounds (VOC) that off-gas into the air. Look for widely available zero-VOC Sarah Tarver-Wahlquist, a writer from brands. Other options include displayTucson, Arizona, also freelances for ing art or colorful wall hangings. GreenAmerica.org.
H
Obstacles are
what you see when you take your eye off the goal. ~Chris Burke
Color Me Feng Shui
ere’s a quick primer on the colors associated with each of the five natural elements and ways to bring them into a home. Seek a balance of all five in each room, appropriate to its use.
Wood Water Earth Metal Fire
green, brown blue, black earth tones, soft yellows/oranges white, gray red, purple, bright yellows/oranges
living plants, wood, flowers water features, running fountains, glass brick, tile, ceramics rocks, stones sunlight
natural awakenings
February 2015
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naturalpet
When Your Pet Passes A Guide to Mourning, Remembering and Healing
by Julianne Hale
A
pet’s love is extraordinary because it is unconditional. It doesn’t have expectations, pass judgment or try to leverage guilt. It is rich in loyalty, trust and adoration. Domestic pets provide warmth, companionship and love, as well as purpose, fun and conversational gambits for family members. For lonely hearts, they are a lifeline, providing a physical, emotional and spiritual connection to life that may prove critical to survival and happiness. Loving pets seem like an endless source of happiness while with us, but few outlive their owners. Loss is as much a part of having a pet as potty training. For some, the loss of a dog or cat is debilitating and the grieving process can take months. Rev. Gary Kowalski, author of Goodbye, Friend and a Unitarian Universalist minister in Santa Fe, New Mexico, contends that the depth of the relationship that we develop with pets emerges from the time we spend with
them every day—exercising, feeding, grooming and even sleeping with them. The relationship is pure and uncomplicated, and the pain of separation can be especially intense and profound. The challenge of pet loss is often complicated by the difficult decision to euthanize an aged or suffering animal. “One of the hardest things about having a dog is that sometimes you have to decide to end its life,” says Jon Katz, of upstate New York, a New York Times bestselling author of many books about dogs, including Going Home: Finding Peace When Pets Die. “Our job as pet owners is to be an advocate for our pets, making sure they do not suffer. Don’t poison the joy that you shared with your pet with guilt over your decisions,” he says. Katz recommends taking photos of pets and making intentional memories in the time leading up to parting to encourage closure. The same kind of rituals we use to honor and say goodbye to other family
The same kind of rituals we use to honor and say goodbye to other family members can likewise help ease the pain of a pet’s passing. 24
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members can likewise help ease the pain of a pet’s passing. Owners can gather with loved ones and friends to celebrate the life of their pet with a burial ceremony or memorial. Kowalski likes adding meaningful words. His book includes a variety of readings that pet owners can use in their rituals taken from poems, literature, the Bible and other sacred texts. When a human friend or family member dies, compassion and empathy flows from everyone we meet, but many may not be aware of, or understand, the depth of grief associated with a pet’s death. “Some people feel embarrassed or don’t understand that mourning a deceased pet is a normal process,” explains Julia Harris, a pet bereavement counselor from Ellijay, Georgia, and author of Pet Loss: A Spiritual Guide. Support is essential during times of grief, and it can be difficult to find an understanding friend to discuss it with. Several online communities are devoted to providing support. An Internet search of “pet loss support” yields a wealth of online resources. In the same way that the belief in an afterlife comforts people of many faith traditions when a person passes, the possibility of the same destiny for pets can offer comfort. “Perhaps one of the most common questions I am asked is whether or not animals have a soul,” explains Harris. “I encourage people to know that the soul, like love, is eternal. It leaves the physical body, but the loving relationship continues.” While there’s no standard timeline for the grieving process, it’s important to keep perspective. Excessive grief can lead to depression. “If the grief is interfering with life and your work, then you may need to seek professional help,” advises Katz. Not even a parent is capable of providing the purely unconditional love we receive from pets. Kowalski views it as a sacred connection, observing that through the unconditional love and acceptance that we receive from our pets, we get a little glimpse of what God’s love must look like. Julianne Hale is a writer and editor for Natural Awakenings and blogs about family life at AnotherGrayHair. WordPress.com.
inspiration
into her body and inquired about the dread: “How big is it and how deep does it go? Does it have a flavor?” The more she questioned, the more curiosity and attention she brought to the emotion and the freer she felt.
Turn Curiosity into Compassion
O’Malley learned to more accurately self-report her feelings. Instead of, “I am afraid,” she learned to assess; “Dread is here.” Then she cultivated compassion, treating the dread as her friend signaling the need for a solution. She acknowledged and listened to the stricken and paralyzed parts of herself, knowing they were separating her from joy because they needed to be heard and understood.
Step Outside Struggle to Embrace Humility
What’s in Your Way? Obstacles Point the Path to Wholeness and Healing by Deborah Shouse
S
ince childhood, Mary O’Malley always thought that something bad was about to happen and experienced a continuous dread that gnawed her insides. Over the years, she tried to eat, drink and medicate away the anxious feelings plaguing her, and sought help from group therapy, hypnotherapy and psychiatrists. Then in 1972, in her late 20s, O’Malley attended a yoga workshop that helped advance her quest to let go of struggles and embrace life. Later, when she met Stephen Levine, whose teaching is influenced by Buddhism, he conveyed, “There’s nothing in you that needs to be fixed,” and invited her to view her own issues with curiosity and compassion. The transformational insights learned along her journey shared in her book, What’s In the Way Is the Way, include simple tools for those that need to move beyond struggles to live in the present with more peace, ease and joy.
Train as a Tightness Detective
Ask this internal question when feeling stressed: “In what aspect of life am I holding on for dear life?” Is your breath short, are your shoulders tight; do you feel a fist in your solar plexus or an elephant sitting on your chest? These are indications that you’re aligned with some struggle. By softening and breathing into the tight places, you can open into life and better align with ease and grace.
O’Malley believes that struggle is humanity’s core compulsion. We develop a story about the difficulty of life and heroically fight against myriad injustices. Yet making a U-turn in perspective to see them as challenges is tailor-made to help us recognize and achieve separation from our individual struggles in favor of a better way of experiencing life. “The dictionary misses the full meaning when it defines humility as ‘lowliness, meekness, submissiveness,’” O’Malley believes. “True humility is a state of great availability, and from this kind of openness we can reconnect with the joy of being fully alive.” She now discovers gifts embedded in every single challenge. Deborah Shouse blogs at DeborahShouseWrites.wordpress.com.
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Strengthen the Curiosity Muscle
source: the350project.net
Whenever O’Malley experienced inner gnawing, she tuned natural awakenings
February 2015
25
We Hold Your Well-Being In Highest Regard
healthykids
EASE ADHD NATURALLY
Nine Ways to Help Restore Calm and Focus by Jenna Blumenfeld
Cure ailing sales by advertising in Natural Awakenings’ March Animal Welfare Issue
To advertise or participate in our next issue, call
608-721-2254 26
South Central Wisconsin
A
lthough experts aren’t certain why it occurs, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) affects 3 to 5 percent of school-age children, causing symptoms such as inattentiveness, frenetic activity, anxiety and forgetfulness. Kids with ADHD typically respond to drug prescriptions designed to provide calm and focus, but some carry unpleasant side effects like appetite changes and muscle spasms. Experts suggest considering these natural options to complement an afflicted child’s integrative treatment plan. Nutritionist Sara Vance, owner, Rebalance Life, San Diego, California. Up omega-3s. The University of Maryland Medical Center reports that recent studies show kids with behavior problems have low blood levels of omega-3 fatty acids, a nutrient vital for brain
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health. Children’s daily diets should contain omega-3-rich foods, such as chia, hemp, nuts and fatty fish. For children 12 and older, supplement with fish oil containing 1,200 milligrams (mg) of (DHA) docosahexaenoic acid and (EPA) eicosapentaenoic acid combined. Try magnesium. Low levels of magnesium, also known as the calming mineral, are associated with restless legs, anxiety and irritability—all of which can exacerbate ADHD. For kids ages 4 to 8, start with 130 mg of magnesium in the morning. If the child has trouble sleeping, another dose before bed may help. Reduce the dose if loose stools occur. Boost B vitamins. Vitamins B6 and B12 are important building blocks for brain neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine. Deficiency can impair nerve cell communication, hindering memory, focus and attention. Encourage a child
to eat B-packed organic foods like eggs, poultry, bell peppers, yams and spinach, and sprinkle B-vitamin-rich nutritional yeast on dishes like noodles and soup. Naturopathic Doctor Laurie Brodsky, e-consultant, DrLaurieND.com, New York City.
Publish a Natural Awakenings Magazine in Your Community Share Your Vision and Make a Difference
Give up gluten. Gluten is a complex, gooey conglomeration of many proteins that sticks to the digestive tract, often stimulating behavioral issues. When gluten inflames a child’s digestive system, brain inflammation likely occurs, as well. Look for gluten-free pasta, bread, crackers and cookies made from rice, quinoa, flaxseed and non-GMO (genetically modified) corn.
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Pair fats with food. Healthy brain function requires a proper ratio of anti-inflammatory omega-3 fats to the more common inflammatory omega-6 fats (found in canola, soybean and corn oils). Encourage balance by eating omega-3 foods at mealtime, when the gallbladder releases bile into the digestive system, allowing better omega-3 absorption. Avoid processed foods. High-fructose corn syrup and artificial colors such as Yellow 5, Blue 1 and Red 40 are linked to increased hyperactivity in children. Choose whole, real foods like whole grains and organic meats, vegetables and fruits. Use maple syrup rather than white sugar to sweeten foods— it’s full-flavored, so a little goes a long way. Behavior Specialist Margit Crane, educator, GiftedWithADD.com, Seattle, Washington. Lead by example. Parents have more power to handle their child’s ADHD than they think. Model the desired behaviors— if children are not allowed to eat in the living room, the rule should apply to the whole family. Maintaining consistent rules is vital. Set boundaries. Many parents and teachers believe that boundaries for ADHD-laden kids, that are often sensitive by nature, may be harsh or limiting. But these children actually thrive with boundaries. Rather than offer kids unlimited choices, give them two or three options. This helps a child feel safe. Regard a troubled child as scared, rather than angry—this will enable parents and caregivers to speak to them with compassion. Work with teachers. Some children with ADHD may have trouble fitting into traditional schools. When speaking with teachers, use collaborative words such as “partnership” to obtain healthy cooperation. Teachers have an entire class to attend to, not just this child; address them with respect and understanding, and everyone will ultimately benefit. Jenna Blumenfeld is the senior food editor at New Hope Natural Media, in Boulder, Colorado. Copyrighted 2014. Penton Media. 114554:1214BN.
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calendarofevents Submit your calendar event by the 12th of each month to Publisher@ AwakeMadison.com. $20/listing. SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 1 Ancient Mother MoonLodge – 7:45-11:30am. Sacred circle of prayer, ceremony and sharing. Teachings and traditions ranging from Earth Spirituality to Gnostic Christianity. Women and men meet in separate circles, then join for feasting at 11:30. Suggested donation $30 - $150. 4Pillars4Health EcoSpace, 6020 Kristi Circle, Monona. RSVP required: 608-279-5225. AncientMotherMoonLodge@tds. net. 4P4H.com.
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 24 Shakti Hour! – 4-7pm. One-hour meditation followed by happy hour. Still your mind and then connect with others. Experienced and beginners welcome. Dress comfortably and bring a cushion or mat. Glass Nickel Pizza, 2916 Atwood Ave, Madison. LightofLoveConsciousness.com/events.
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 27
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 6 Tao Sangha Healing Center Winter Open House – 1-5pm. Learn about our spiritual health classes, practices, shiatsu training and aid projects. Experience Ki health exercises, Tao Shiatsu hands-on healing and Nembutsu Chanting. Come to enjoy refreshments in good company. Free. Tao Sangha Healing Center, 2330 Willard Ave, Madison. 608-257-4663. Madison@TaoSangha-na.com. TaoSangha-na.com. Dances of Universal Peace – 7-9pm.Simple, circle dances using sacred phrases from various spiritual traditions. Family-friendly dance evening. $10/donation. Gates of Heaven Synagogue, 302 E. Gorham St, Madison. 608-339-0708. MadisonSufis.com. Community HU – 7:30pm. Singing HU can open your heart to God’s love and expand awareness. Sing HU for 20 minutes followed by fellowship and light refreshments. Free. McCormick Place, 5610 Medical Circle, # 25, Madison. Experience the sound of HU at HearHU.org.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 7 Family Ki and Heart Workshop – 11am-12pm. 1st or 2nd Sat monthly. Make your energy and heart positive and strong through fun holistic practices including yoga, family shiatsu healing, cooperative games, and Buddhist meditations. $8-$10 per parent/ child pair. Tao Sangha Healing Center, 2330 Willard Ave, Madison. RSVP: 608-257-4663. Madison@ TaoSangha-na.com. TaoSangha-na.com.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8 Universal Worship – 10am-12pm. A ceremony of words, music and ritual that honors all the world’s religious traditions on one altar. Free/donation accepted. Gates of Heaven Synagogue, 302 E. Gorham St, Madison. 608-339-0708. MadisonSufis.com.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 14 Herbal Lozenges for Winter Wellness – 12-1pm. Jennifer Helmer of Wildwood Institute will teach how honey and herbs combine to make safe, natural and
effective lozenges. Take home what you make. $10. Register though Garden Expo website: WiGarden Expo.com/workshopsat. Garden EXPO, Alliant Energy Center, Madison.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 15 Herbal Lozenges for Winter Wellness – 11am12pm. Jennifer Helmer of Wildwood Institute will teach how honey and herbs combine to make safe, natural and effective lozenges. Take home what you make. $10. Register though Garden Expo website: WiGardenExpo.com/workshopsun. Garden EXPO, Alliant Energy Center, Madison.
plan ahead SUNDAY, MARCH 1
Movement & Meditation in the Garden – 6:308pm. Contemplative approaches of dance and nature, informed via dance/movement therapy and eco-psychology. No experience required. $60/4 classes, 2nd Thursdays through May. Olbrich Botanical Gardens, 3330 Atwood Ave, Madison. Info: Ann Wingate at Hancock Center, 608-251-0908. To register: Olbrich Gardens, 608-246-4550. Hancock Center.net. Olbrich.org/ Education/Classes.
Ancient Mother MoonLodge – 7:45-11:30am. Sacred circle of prayer, ceremony and sharing. Teachings and traditions ranging from Earth Spirituality to Gnostic Christianity. Women and men meet in separate circles, then join for feasting at 11:30. Suggested donation $30 - $150. 4Pillars4Health EcoSpace, 6020 Kristi Circle, Monona. RSVP required: 608-279-5225. AncientMotherMoonLodge@tds. net. 4P4H.com.
Community HU – 7:30pm. Singing HU can open your heart to God’s love and expand awareness. Sing HU for 20 minutes followed by fellowship and light refreshments. Free. McCormick Place, 5610 Medical Circle, # 25, Madison. Experience the sound of HU at HearHU.org.
FRIDAY, MARCH 6
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 20 Charity Shiatsu and Massage – 5-8pm. Combine relaxation and donation by receiving 10 or 30 minutes of Tao Shiatsu or Massage. Proceeds support local and international people in need. Everyone is welcome. Reserve an appointment at 608-257-4663 or Madison@TaoSangha-na.com. Tao Sangha Healing Center, 2330 Willard Ave, Madison. TaoSanghana.com.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 22 Buddha School – 10 am-12:30pm. Monthly, usually
South Central Wisconsin
Tao Shiatsu Introductory Workshop – 6-8:30pm, Saturday and Sunday 9am-5pm. Experience the interconnected nature of body, mind and spirit through Ki (energy) training exercises and hands-on shiatsu practice. No previous knowledge or experience needed. Cost $160. For more info, 608-257-4663 or Madison@TaoSangha-na.com. Tao Sangha Healing Center at 2330 Willard Ave, Madison. TaoSangha-na.com.
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 19
Dances of Universal Peace – 7-9pm. Long Dance/ Zikr Night. Meditation and movement. Simple, circle dances using sacred phrases from various spiritual traditions. Family friendly dance evening. $10/donation. Tai Chi Center, 301 S Bedford, Ste. 219, Madison. 608-339-0708. MadisonSufis.com.
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third Sunday. At Buddha School, experience peace, liberation and develop compassion for all beings. Let your body, instead of your head, understand peace. Drop-in is fine. Suggested fee: $15-$20. For more information or to RSVP call 608-2574663 or email Madison@TaoSangha-na.com. Tao Sangha Healing Center, 2330 Willard Ave, Madison. TaoSangha-na.com.
AwakeMadison.com
Community HU – 7:30pm. Singing HU can open your heart to God’s love and expand awareness. Sing HU for 20 minutes followed by fellowship and light refreshments. Free. McCormick Place, 5610 Medical Circle, # 25, Madison. Experience the sound of HU at HearHU.org.
SATURDAY, MARCH 7 Herbalism 101 – 10am-4:30pm. Learn to safely and effectively use plants for food and medicine. specifics of tinctures, decoctions, ointments, oils and teas, wisdom and power of herbal medicine. $85. Register: WildwoodInstitute.com/education/ classes-and-workshops/herbalism-101. Wildwood Institute, 946 Burr Oak Lane, Madison.
SUNDAY, MARCH 8 Natural Family Expo – 10am-4pm. The intent of the Expo is to provide families in south-central Wisconsin a venue to learn, have fun and explore their available local resources. Adults $6, Kids $4. Monona Terrace, 1 John Nolan Dr, Madison. Advance tickets ½ price online at NaturalFamily Expo.com.
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 18 Sharp Mind-Herbs and Tools – 6:30-8pm. Learn herbal remedies traditionally used to increase intelligence and memory; foods and surprising lifestyle choices that improve mental function while reducing stress and fatigue. Taught by Kathleen Wildwood. $17 Olbrich members/$22 non-members. Register: Olbrich.org/education/classes.cfm. Olbrich Gardens, 23330 Atwood Ave, Madison.
FRIDAY, MARCH 27 Holistic Healing with Aromatherapy – 9am-7pm. Entire level 1 aromatherapy education with certification over 1 weekend. Taught by leading aromatherapy expert and NAHA business member Dr. Christina Wilke-Burbach. Mimosa 260 W. Gilman, Madison. Registration/info: Christina/Mind, Soul, and Self at 608-393-7353 or MindSoulAndSelf@ yahoo.com. MindSoulAndSelf.com.
FRIDAY, JUNE 5 Fourth Annual Midwest Women’s Herbal Conference – June 5-7. Over 60 workshops. Guest speakers, plant walks, kids’ and teen camp, swimming, evening entertainment, marketplace, red tent, film screenings, roundtable discussions and much more. Preconference workshops too. Held in Almond, WI. Info: MidwestWomensHerbal.com.
ongoingevents monday
wednesday
Buddhist Chanting – 9-10am. Nembutsu is a meditative musical spiritual practice of the Pure Land style of Japanese Buddhism. No experience necessary. Everyone welcome. Freely given, donations accepted. Tao Sangha Healing Center, 2330 Willard Ave, Madison. RSVP: 608-257-4663. Madison@ TaoSanghana.com. TaoSangha-na.com.
Sustainable Bodies, Sustainable Minds – 12-1pm. Exceptionally valuable class for those 50+. Balance, posture, pain management, flexibility, core strength and stability are explored in a gentle and inspiring program. $25. 4Pillars4Health EcoSpace, 6020 Kristi Circle, Monona. Pre-registration required. 608-279-5225. FourPillars@tds.net. 4P4H.com.
tuesday
thursday
Shaolin Qigong: Intimacy with the Life Force – 7-8pm. Qigong in a pure, transcendental and inspiring form. The highly regarded 18 Lohan Hands, given by first Zen patriarch Bodhidharma, will be taught and explored. $25. 4Pillars4Health EcoSpace, 6020 Kristi Circle, Monona.Pre-registration required. 608-279-5225. FourPillars@tds.net. 4P4H.com.
Buddhist Chanting – 9-10am. Nembutsu is a meditative musical spiritual practice of the Pure Land style of Japanese Buddhism. No experience necessary. Everyone welcome. Freely given, donations accepted. Tao Sangha Healing Center, 2330 Willard Ave, Madison. RSVP: 608-257-4663. Madison@ TaoSanghana.com. TaoSangha-na.com.
communityresourceguide Connecting you to the leaders in natural health care and green living in our community. To find out how you can be included, email Publisher@AwakeMadison.com to request our media kit.
ASSISTED/SUPPORTED LIVING EMERSON ASSISTED LIVING 402 Rustic Drive, Madison 608-669-5542 EmersonMadison.com
Embrace a holistic approach with our services and care in a gracious and beautiful residence. Assisted and supportive living options available. It doesn’t just feel like home, it is home.
COUNSELING/ VEDIC TRADITIONS DEAN LESSER, PHD
Counseling and Vedic Astrology Madison and Spring Green, Wisconsin 608-574-4333 • SundaraJyoti@gmail.com SundaraJyoti.com • VedicPsychologist.com Achieve greater poise, equanimity and clarity through counseling integrated with ancient Vedic traditions. Dean has studied with some of the most prominent Vedic teachers in the world. See ad, page 4.
DUWAYNE’S SALON
DENTISTRY INTEGRATIVE DENTAL SOLUTIONS 23770 Capitol Dr, Pewaukee 262-691-4555 MyNaturalDentist.com
21114 N Sherman Ave, Madison 608-241-0323 DuWaynesSalon.com Providing the latest hairstyles, coloring, highlighting, consultations and nail services on Madison’s north side for over 50 years. DuWayne’s proudly uses aloe-based Eufora products. See ad, page 16.
Doctors Ingo Mahn and Supriya Shetty are committed to holistic dental care, using materials and methods most beneficial to overall health. See ad, page 3.
HERB TRAINING/PRODUCTS
HEALTH/BEAUTY
WILDWOOD INSTITUTE
4PILLARS4HEALTH ECOSPACE 6020 Kristi Circle, Monona 608-279-5225 4P4H.com
Nourishing. Inspirational. Transformative. Pilates, Qi Gong, Bodywork, Sacred LifeStyle Coaching, the A n c i e n t Mo t h e r Mo o n Lodge, Master/Elder Workshops and more... in our cedar-wood eco-Yurt. See ad, page 18.
951 Burr Oak Ln, Madison 608-663-9608 • WildwoodInstitute.com Kathleen@WildwoodInstitute.com Herbal apprenticeship program, one-time herb classes and workshops, special events, personal health consultations with herbalist Kathleen Wildwood, and locally grown, pesticide-free, high-quality herbal products. See ad, page 8.
natural awakenings
February 2015
29
HOMEOPATHY EDUCATION NW ACADEMY OF HOMEOPATHY Twin Cities area in Minnesota 952-955-4117 HomeoVista.org
PEACEFUL HEART GIFTS & BOOKS 123 South Main St, Oregon 608-835-5288 PeacefulHeart.net
Indulge the inner diva with great jewelry, healing music or an insightful book. Pick up a calendar of events featuring healers, readers, classes and other special events. See ad, page 12.
Consider a career in Homeopathy. We h a v e b e e n training Classical Homeopaths since 1995. Accredited program includes classroom and clinical training. Contact us to start your holistic journey today.
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608-721-2254 Publisher@ AwakeMadison.com
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At Healthy Woman, learn about the importance of water, how to lose weight and keep it off with H2O Energy Flow combined with the right food choices. See ad, page 31.
We are a Community of Friends inspired by the work of Hazrat I n a y a t K h a n . We gather to ‘eat, dance, and pray together.’ Call or visit our website for information. See ad, page 12.
MADISON TERGAR COMMUNITY 608-513-9642 • Madison@Tergar.org Facebook: Tergar Madison Tergar.org
Tergar Madison holds a weekly Tuesday night drop-in meditation group, as well as periodic retreats, workshops, and classes on meditation and Tibetan Buddhism. Please join us.
PRODUCTS/SERVICES COSMIC DELIGHTS
2334 Atwood Ave, Madison 608-630-8680 CosmicDelights.com Awaken senses and enlighten the mind with our selection of oils, sprays, crystals, incense, buttons, smoking accessories, tapestries, tarot, statuary, and singing bowls. Holographic Sound Healing sessions available. See ad, page 18.
EXTREME KLEANER
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WEIGHT LOSS HEALTHY WOMAN
7617 Mineral Point Rd, Madison 608-203-9060 • HealthyWomanMadison.com Gain more confidence, energy and fit back into your favorite clothes with Healthy Woman’s proven program. Lose 1-3 pounds per week, guaranteed. Schedule your free consultation today. Lose weight today at Healthy Woman. See ad, page 32.
Live clean and green. Extreme Kleaner is an all-purpose, 100% eco-safe, biodegradable household cleaning product. Visit ExtremeKleaner.com for store locations or to purchase online. See ad, page 2.
We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it. ~John Lennon
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AwakeMadison.com
Do you experience fatigue, headaches or body aches and pains? These are all symptoms of dehydration. H2O Energy Flow specializes in frequency imprinting of water and providing the best available pH at 7.8.It starts by taking water from the original spring source and energizing it through an all-natural process; which means there are no added chemicals or artificial ingredients,setting the stage for optimal health.
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natural awakenings
February 2015
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