And Marriage makes Three

Preparing for Marriage in the Catholic Church binds couples to God

Story by Ashlie Hand | Photos by Megan Marley and Jackie Marko

Jaellan and Veronica have found a parish home at Our Lady of Good Counsel, where they were married in 2021.

For Jaellan and Veronica Stone, this summer will mark the final few months of their first year as husband and wife. Their story, like all married couples’ stories, is special in the way that God brought them together and fortified their relationship through faith.

Veronica grew up on the south side of Kansas City in a Catholic home as one of 10 children.

She recalls that she learned a lot about the Faith academically and intellectually, but it wasn’t really until she reached adulthood that she began to experience a more personal relationship with Jesus. She attended Avila University but struggled to establish a strong Catholic connection or really find a community of active, participating Catholics.

“I just had to make those decisions for myself and be Catholic on my own terms,” she says.

Jaellan grew up in Plattsburg without much of a religious background, but he attended a Christian church with his mom, where he was baptized along with his older sister. At that point, he was left to attend church on his own, but without a strong religious foundation, he found it challenging to make his faith a priority. The one exception in Jaellan’s family was his grandmother, who was a faithful Catholic and would bring Jaellan along to Mass with her on occasion.

“She was always a big inspiration to me in that area … seeing the tradition, hearing people singing and speaking in Latin. It always intrigued me,” he recalls.

That connection with his grandmother stuck with him into adulthood, even as he traveled the country seeing and meeting people of other religions. When he met Veronica, her faith was one of the first things she shared with him, and it sparked a curiosity that had always been there.

A relationship blossoms

Veronica and Jaellan met at the construction company where Veronica interned. Jaellan came to Veronica’s office looking for a new position and Veronica was asked to show Jaellan around. There was a nearly instant connection and the couple started dating about a week later.

“Neither of us had met somebody who we were so immediately on the same page with,” recalls Veronica.

Months of genuine, deep and easy to have conversations followed that would last hours as they learned more about each other.

“The craziest thing is that when we met each other ... I almost felt like I already knew him,” Veronica adds. “There was a comfortability there even though we come from very different backgrounds. We had a host of similarities on so many other levels including shared values that were evident very early on.”

Within a month of dating, they were already talking about forever.

Unlike past negative relationships, the two realized their connection was not only a special commitment, but truly their vocation. They were engaged a year later. God showed up often during this time, perhaps most significantly in the way that their relationship drew Jaellan into his decision to enter fully into the Catholic church. This also created an opportunity for Veronica to experience a reversion to the Faith as he went through the RCIA process at the couple’s chosen parish, Our Lady of Good Counsel in Kansas City.

“I can’t be by somebody’s side who is taking this very serious step and not be serious myself,” she realized. “I began approaching my faith as a child and a daughter of Jesus which also led me to a parish where I fit in and where I chose to be as an adult.”

Preparing to thrive

In the Diocese of Kansas City- St. Joseph, marriage preparation is coordinated through the Family Life Office and it includes meetings with a priest or deacon, access to a mentor couple and formation through a program called Thrive. Traditionally, Thrive took place during in-person weekends where couples would gather for discussion and fellowship. When the COVID-19

pandemic shut down the world for a period of time, the program had to quickly pivot to an online format to ensure engaged couples could continue their preparation.

“We found marked improvements, even in categories that were already exceptional, and concluded that the online course was something worth developing further,” Dino Durando, director of the Family Life Office, explains. “The COVID pandemic led us to discover something that we may not have otherwise, that the online course is very effective and, in many ways, better than the in-person weekends.”

The Thrive program guides engaged couples through 13 online modules covering a range of topics from building a faith-centered life together to Natural Family Planning to prayer and spiritual health. The program is completed in two parts over 13 weeks with supplementary videos, worksheets and online surveys.

For Jaellan and Veronica, the online format was challenging at times, but the couple kept each other focused and appreciated the flexibility to pause for discussion or reflection, or increase the pace if they had extra time.

Within the marriage preparation process, the couple completes several surveys answering questions on topics relating to marriage, children and building a life together. Each person answers individually, then discusses how their answers align together with the help of a priest or deacon. Veronica and Jaellan agree this had the most significant impact on the marriage preparation process for them, along with their spiritual director, Father Andrew Mattingly.

“Father Mattingly made a safe space for us to be honest with him and with each other. It was almost like an examination of conscience, but about our relationship. We were learning things I didn’t know or didn’t think to ask about and asking the hard questions with Father there to guide us,” Veronica recalls.

The process gave the couple the opportunity to discuss important things like holidays with each other’s families — Veronica’s family are planners, while Jaellan’s are more spontaneous. Their advice is to prioritize your new family unit, respect each person’s individual approach to things and understand that you will have to compromise no matter what.

This is just one reason Jaellan believes marriage preparation is the most important thing that couples can do.

Veronica and Jaellan have a shared devotion to Our Blessed Mother, which they have continued into their first year of marriage in praying the Rosary daily.

Photo by Jackie Marko

Marriage for three

With few examples of devoted marriage in his family, Jaellan didn't know what married life was really like. His dad is remarried but didn’t have a wedding. It made it harder for him to understand marriage as a sacrament at first, but Father Mattingly opened his mind. “It’s easy to go get married. It’s easy to get up there and say, ‘I do.’ But is it easy to get up there and make a promise to God to take care of this person forever?” he emphasizes.

Veronica says that putting everything under the lens of what God wants us to do is the most important message in preparing for marriage. “God’s the third part of our marriage,” she says, and Jaellen enthusiastically agrees.

Veronica adds, “The wedding industry tells you that you are getting ready for your wedding, and not that you’re getting ready for your marriage. Peers of mine would talk about getting a dress, a photographer, and I was so glad we were actually setting a foundation for our marriage.”

Daily prayer is an anchor for both Jaellan and Veronica, especially making time to pray the Rosary every day. Veronica appreciates having an accountability partner in her husband, and Jaellan sees it as his responsibility.

“Knowing that it is my responsibility to make sure she gets to heaven, nothing else matters.”

Jaellan and Veronica have found a parish home at Our Lady of Good Counsel, where they were married in 2021. Read more about Jaellan's conversion and experience entering the Catholic Church just months before marriage on CatholicKey.org