SEASON OF LOVE Exploring The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis

By Ashlie Hand

Love is a popular sentiment in our society and in the practice of our faith. It gets an especially bright spotlight in February as we approach Valentine’s Day.

We know that love is important — from a biblical sense, it’s cited as the most important virtue according to Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, “So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

Type “Greek definitions for love” into your favorite search engine and you may find there are anywhere from three to eight words for love commonly attributed to the ancient Greeks. Published in 1971, C.S. Lewis’ book The Four Loves “explores the possibilities and problems of the four basic kinds of human love — affection, friendship, erotic love and the love of God.”

Let’s take a closer look at these:

Affection ( storge ) — this is probably the broadest definition in the group and can be applied to many different things from our favorite dessert to the way a mother cares for her child. C.S. Lewis tells us that affection can sit alongside other loves and often does. Our human relationships are often built around affections for certain places, experiences or shared interests that lead us into a deeper relationship with each other.

Friendship ( philia ) — it’s not uncommon today to hear “Love you!” as a parting sentiment or “I love you, man,” between friends. Lewis writes, “To the Ancients, Friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves.” It’s usually less complicated than romantic love and can be shared among large groups of people, families, co-workers and colleagues.

Romance ( eros ) — while often beginning with passion, romantic love is a much deeper and more meaningful emotion. Romantic love, says Lewis, “has made appetite itself altruistic, tossed personal happiness aside as a triviality and planted the interests of another in the centre of our being.” Romance is the only type of love that leads itself to the creation of new life. Romance is where we learn to set our own self interests aside in preparation for our Heavenly home. Lewis adds, “It is an image, a foretaste, of what we must become to all if Love Himself rules in us without a rival.”

Charity ( agape ) — this is often called “perfect love,” as it is the kind of love only God himself is capable of. It refers to the unconditional love of the Father given to us through his Son and the Holy Spirit.

Love requires vulnerability and courage. As the saying goes, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” May you be surrounded by God’s perfect love in this season of life and beyond.