A mother’s to God

By

S itting across from Mary Sappington, wife and mother of six, you notice a firm resolve and a quiet strength drawn from her faith in God’s will. There is also a sense of loss that sits just below the surface, still raw and easily accessed.

Scott and Mary Sappington raised their children on three acres in Peculiar, Missouri, homeschooling them until high school. They have been active members of Our Lady of Lourdes Parish in Harrisonville for three decades. The oldest child, Elizabeth, is a labor and delivery nurse; Mark co-owns a coffee roasting company, is married and expecting his first child; and Bridgette is a pediatric nurse, wife and mother of two children, with one more on the way.

The three youngest Sappington brothers, Paul (who falls between Mark and Bridgette in birth order), James and Gabriel have a lot in common. Competitive athletes, they all played multiple sports throughout high school, from football to trapshooting, excelled academically, dated in high school and college, and love their large, close-knit family. They also all happen to have heard the call to the priesthood.

Father Paul Sappington was ordained on June 25, 2022, and currently serves as chaplain and director of faith formation at St. Michael the Archangel High School in Lee’s Summit.

James Sappington is in Pre-Theology I at Conception Seminary. He was joined in January 2023 by his younger brother Gabriel, now a sophomore at Conception.

Mary says that religious vocations were casually referenced as an option while the kids were growing up, but she never expected three of her four sons to feel called to the priesthood. It is a reality that she is still getting used to, while also gaining a deeper trust in God’s plan.

Through both laughter and tears, and with the intercession of Our Lady of Sorrows, she is learning to carry this unique responsibility.

A new kind of motherhood

As Paul, James and Gabriel have pursued vocations to the priesthood, Mary has had to find her way in this new dimension of motherhood.

“You pray, and then you pray, and then you pray some more,” she says, overwhelmed with emotion. “The Lord gave these kids to me for a reason, and being a mom is one of the most important jobs in the world.”

When a young person is discerning,

Mary says a mother’s job is to pray and listen.

“I know it’s my job to ask the Lord to guide them and to show them what his will is. Sometimes that’s really hard. To surrender control to God and say ‘Ok, God, they’re yours and I know you love them so much more than I do,’” she explains.

Mary cautions parents against putting any added pressure on a son who is discerning the priesthood. It’s important, she says, to remember that entering seminary does not mean they will become a priest.

“As a mother, it is not your decision,” Mary says emphatically. “My prayer has always been ‘Lord give me the desire to desire whatever your will is then help me to get out of the way.’”

Mary further encourages parents to talk to someone who has been through it. “There’s no guidebook,” she adds, because everybody’s journey is different. She participates with the Mothers of Seminarians group as they support each other and pray for the seminarians throughout their discernment.

Sacrifice and joy

Going through the process more than once hasn’t made it any easier.

“Priests are so sacrificial, and it’s such a hard job because you can never satisfy everyone,” Mary says. “As a mom, in your heart, you kind of go through that also.”

For Mary, there is also great joy in witnessing three of her sons pursue religious vocations. The journey has brought the family closer to each other and to God.

One special memory was seeing Father Paul bless his 98-year-old grandmother, who has been a prayer warrior for his vocation.

Mary doesn’t feel her family is extraordinary in their faith, describing their parenting and family life as “normal.” She finds it humbling that God would call three of her sons to discern the priesthood. Even more so, Mary says, “It is so humbling that they are saying yes. They love him so much that they are willing to discern and say, ‘God what do you want from me?’ and say yes.”

First protector

During a newly ordained priest’s first Mass, he may give his mother the Maniturgium, a cloth used during the ordination Mass that was wrapped around his hands after they were anointed with holy oil.

Mary Sappington’s

Homemade Spaghetti And Meatballs

Combine and simmer in 6-qt. saucepan

• 6 cans tomato sauce

• 2 packages McCormick’s

Thick & Zesty spaghetti

In large mixing bowl, combine:

• 2.5 – 3 lb. lean hamburger

• 2 eggs

• ½ cup of milk

• 2 tbsp

Worcestershire sauce

• 1 tsp salt

• ½ tsp garlic powder

• ¼ tsp pepper

Form into small balls and drop into simmering sauce. Simmer for about an hour and skim grease off the top. Serve with 32 oz. spaghetti cooked al dente. You can add more garlic powder, onion powder, 1 tsp sugar, basil or oregano if you don’t think it’s spicy enough.

Some suggest that this white cloth represents the burial shroud of Christ, which protected his sacred body in the tomb. Therefore, the newly ordained priest presents the Maniturgium to his mother because she was the first protector of his body through pregnancy and infancy.

Father Paul presented his Maniturgium to Mary in a gold-colored box at the end of his first Mass. “It’s a token of appreciation and love to say I appreciate all you’ve done to get me to this point … and it smells great, too.”

Mary says, “It was so touching, so meaningful. It’s just so humbling and a blessing.”

An authentic sounding board

Father Paul, James and Gabriel all recognize how important their mom is in forming their confidence and their faith.

Father Paul shared, “Mom did a really good job of encouraging us to not be afraid of failure, to stand up for what we believe in, through words and example.”

Once Father Paul was in seminary, his parents were an important connection for him to home and he came to appreciate their advice and role as parents in a deeper way.

James is the self-described emotion- al one of the three, and his personal discernment was a longer internal struggle. “My mom was a big sounding board early in my discernment, someone I knew I could share things with. At some point, I had to stop talking to her about it because I was dealing with questions she couldn’t answer. Knowing I had her support either way was really important.”

Though still very early in his discernment, Gabriel says that being raised with “no duplicity” has been very helpful to him. “Mom did not get in the way of God and what he was asking of me. She told me, ‘Whatever God wants, that’s what you need to go towards.’ Her humility was very formative.”

All three brothers agree that simply knowing their mom is there when they need her, any time of day or night, makes all the difference in the world.