Social Butterflies

By Brigette Chirpich

Out of the cold and snowy winter, we emerge into the sunshine of spring. We wander through the tree blossoms and spy the pale green leafy buds that follow. We see the sun more often, and grass is greening up again. There is hope in this new season.

With the blossoms of the crocus, then daffodils, tulips, lilacs and, eventually, peonies, our spring walks are glorious.

As you plan your gardens, remember to plant marigolds, salvia, coneflowers and goldenrod. These blooms attract the butterfly. Oh, the social and happy butterfly. The fragile and innocent butterfly.

Imagine the reaction of children when they see butterflies. They run and chase butterflies. They giggle and smile. They are filled with excitement and wonder. Watching a child play with butterflies brings joy and peacefulness; that is a happy child.

A young child is also needy and fragile. When they are exposed to trauma or strife, they are left with holes to fill and repair. These traumas are called Adverse Childhood Experiences, or “ACEs” for short.

Some of these experiences include child abuse or exposure to drug use. However, some of the experiences are less visible, such as their private fears, possibly of hunger or housing.

All ACEs influence a child. Some effects are behavioral like anger issues or being clingy to a parent. Other effects show up in the development of the child’s speech or writing delays. All these effects will have an impact on the young child’s ability to thrive in school.

A new program at Catholic Charities, “Social Butterflies,” works with children to repair the void created by their experiences. Social Butterflies will assess the child, work with the parents and create plans for growth. Teaching skills through play, connecting with experts and classes on parenting are all ways Social Butterflies will bring a child and their family forward, beyond the adverse experiences. When children are confident among their peers, they can play like a child, they can feel happiness, not fear, and they blossom like a butterfly.

In the cocoon, the caterpillar transforms. When properly protected and nourished, the butterfly will emerge in all its God-given beauty. You will see it flit and flutter from one flower to another in a happy-go-lucky fashion. It brings joy, just living its life. Watching it fills you with hope — in spite of its fragility.

Why is it we whisper when we hold a butterfly? Perhaps it is because we know we are holding an extremely special and fragile creature. How we handle this insect can break its lifecycle. Apply that image to holding a baby, a crying toddler, or a fearful child. They are more fragile than we are. Their experiences are new and stay with them and can harm their future. How we handle these children impacts their growth and development.

We all have a part to play in caring for our children.

Jesus said, “Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not me but the One who sent me.” (Mark 9:36-37)

There is much love in this statement. A child sees the goodness of God everywhere. They learn to question God as they gather adverse experiences.

Embrace the child and their pure, unbiased, childlike faith in God. Encourage it in others. Witness the hope in the child’s actions. May our little social butterflies bring hope and sunshine to us all this new season.

When children are confident among their peers, they can play like a child, they can feel happiness, not fear, and they blossom like a butterfly.