D&Ksuomi Magazine by dksuomi9

D&Ksuomi

The power of Dreaming BIG and Never give up.

D&Ksuomi (Deborah Kabare suomi) is multi Services Company was founded in 2008 and since the first day in the business we have been bringing the best selection of our products and services to our customers. Our business name has become synonymous with quality Throughout the entire Africa, Europe, USA and surrounding areas. We do our best to ensure a permanent variety of fantastic items along with unique limited edition and seasonal items that fit any budget. We are driven by our dedication and determination to give best service to our customers.

C A N â&#x20AC;&#x2122; T H E L P TH A N S MI LE W I TH P RI D E A ND H ON O R E V E R Y SI N GLE TI M E

S OM E ONE W A L KS IN T O O U R ST O RE E X C I TE D A B O U T T H E GRE A T SE LE C TI O N , A ND W A L K S OU T S A TI S F I E D

JOB RIGHT .

. T HIS MEANS WE HAVE DONE OUR

W E ALSO WANT TO INVITE YOU TO GET I N

TOU C H W IT H U S T O LE A R N M O RE A B OU T OU R ON L INE ST O RE , O R S IM P LY C O M E OV E R T O A N Y O F OU R ST O RE A C R OS S A ND SA Y H I I N PE R S ON A N Y TI M E !

Y OU

A RE V E R Y W E LC OME !

Throughout the entire Africa, Europe, USA and surrounding areas. We do our best to ensure a permanent variety of fantastic items along with unique limited edition and seasonal items that fit any budget. We are driven by our dedication and determination to give best service to our customers.

D&KSUOMI FOUNDATION EMPOWERMENT OF WOMEN AND YOUNG GIRLS Women are faced with many responsibilities and are also faced with a lot of problems such as discrimination and domestic violence, why? Because the role of women in society has been greatly overseen in the last few decades. However, people now share a different perspective of women and their role

in society today. This has been achieved through empowering young girls and women.

WHAT IS EMPOWERMENT OF WOMEN? This is inspiring women by helping them to take their own decisions through breaking all personal limitations of the society and family. The D&K foundation of Empowerment of African women is a non-profit organization which is in the forefront to ensure that women have restored their rightful and dignified status in the society. Our mission is to empower women thorough micro-enterprise, education, jobs and skills acquisition e.t.c. We are also currently working on certain projects which will help solve problems which in one way or another affect women and young girls thus preventing them to fully exploit their potential and abilities, some of these projects include: Fighting poverty online, this is eradicating poverty through online platforms.

D & K S U O M I]

Black girls land is another project we are working on to improve the lives of black women and girls around the globe. We have participated in various events to enforce our mission all over the world while standing strong to speak up for the voiceless. We as the D&K foundation has purposed to fight for the space that most of our young girls and women have been lacking by providing and ensuring women get the opportunities they deserve. D&ksuomi foundation, founded in the year 2008, is a non-profit organization headquartered in a Tampere, Finland with brand offices in Nigeria and Coral springs, Florida U.S.A. The main objective of our foundation is to empower women in Africa, fighting against sexual violence and domestic violence towards women and children &equipping them through education and employment.

G L

Mission-To empower women through education, micro enterprise, healthcare, skill acquisition, financial and emotional aids.

Black girls land-this is an initiative under D&KSuomi foundation. Black girls land is a mentorship program that works to improve the lives of black women & girls in our communities and mostly throughout the world. The main purpose is to improve girls perspective towards education, increasing girls sense of worth, giving encouragement to girls ad providing support by helping black girls to become self-sufficient in all areas. Vision- To build a professional centre where they can study and learn -modeling school, music& Dancing school, Arts & Crafts, etc EMPOWERMENT OF AFRICAN WOMEN (E.O.A.W) This is another awesome initiative under the D&Ksuomi Foundation, this initiative is set out to empower women in Africa through skill acquisition, micro-enterprise loan, equipment and education needed for them to be empowered.

D&K Suomi Humanitarian Awards. The D&K Suomi Humanitarian awards is an award ceremony set aside to recognize individuals & organization regardless of age status, culture, or religion, people whoare providing support by whole means to the under privileged and disadvantaged people, especially women and children in Africa to also inspire humanitarian acts and ambition within our nation.

D&K SUOMICOSMETICSANDBEAUTYCARE. D&K Suomi cosmetics and beauty care line, specializes in high quality range of products.Wepride ourselves in using only the very highest standards of pigment and natural ingredients. Our beauty care products are all Natural and paraben free, and not tested in animals

Our Products are -Natural bar soap -Eye lashes -Scented candles -Human hair extension -eye shadow, lip stick and lip gloss 4

-perfume

D&K SUOMI MISSIONARY & EDUCATIONALTOUR - This initiative is set out to bring missionaries and minister of the gospel to Africa. To also expose young Africans to gain future perspectives through cultural diversity and learning programs. Programs-Annual Educational tour USA & Europe -Desire to host your crusade in Africa? You are in the right hands -Thinking of expanding and extending your humanitarian acts or your non-profit activities to Africa? More about D&Ksuomi Product and services are in the last Page

D&Ksuomi All began form my Background 

Stories of Survivours



What is your Next Page In Life



Relationship And Parenting



Let Your light In you Shine



Let Talk About Africa



Self Identification



Living A Free Life As A woman



Believe In Woman In You



Am Not Ashame As A Woman

huh



D&Ksuomi Humanitarian Awards



D&Ksuomi International Conference



Why I put all Me into D&Ksuomi Deborah Funmi Mupapa 

How to LOSE Weight

Interviews



My Abuse Began When I was In Elementary School By Wanda McKinley CEO and Founder Of We My hyohiohuuiuopdopffk Are Survivor

Great Woman behind Shanie Enterprises International

The Next Page in Life

The next chapter “PAGE”in life Catherine Pulsifer a great author of the wings of wisdom once wrote that every day is a chance to begin again. Don‘t focus on the failures of yesterday, start today with positive thoughts and expectations.‘ New chapters in life can be anything, a new relationship, a new marriage or even becoming a parent. New chapters sometimes may not also be that good some may mean that something old has been taken away from you. Sometimes it may mean turning your life for the better after some disheartening divorce, break up or even sometimes loss of a loved one. in most cases, we find that new chapters aren‘t always that rosy many new beginnings can be terrifying, disheartening and sometimes very difficult. However, despite all these thoughts associated with change it is bound to happen in one‘s life. What matters most is how you deal with the circumstances affecting your life and also how you can turn over a new life while forgetting but having learnt from the past. The circumstances that force us to turn a new chapter in our life may be different but one thing for sure is that you will have to do away with that old familiar way of being. In this whole process, we sometimes tend to cling on to old habits, relationships and patterns as you may feel sentimental letting off the old habits, the anxiety factor about what could be in store for us is sometimes kind off daunting.

Explore your new chapter in life

Before stepping into the new terrain it is of great importance to do your due diligence and get to know what you are dealing with. Conducting some personal orientation and knowing what your new chapter will be of help when you will be navigating through that unfamiliar new chapter. However, don‘t fret when taking new initiatives talk to people who have done it and let them counsel you.

BE STRONG DURING THE CHANGE

Being strong during the change The process of turning over a new life may not be that rosy but also may not be that dull, the silver lining in this cloud of change is that it presents you with the opportunity to make new beginnings and also possess that power to firmly put that dark past behind you. During this change, our normal lives tend to undergo a dramatic overhaul and, yes! Change is for the strong. Turning over to some new life means forgiving those who hurt you in the past and forging ahead and writing a new chapter of your life. How do you forgive an abusing spouse and move forward if you are not strong? Surely it is impossible to start over without forgiving and also letting go. Setbacks and low points are inevitable when

When you are expecting something big,

starting that new chapter, mixed feelings and

working towards it is always a must, the

questions including, Can I do this? Will I feel

adjustment towards big changes isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;t linear

normal again? May cloud your mind. The

and smooth, it isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;t that each day it gets better.

best way to deal with this is allowing yourself

It is a wavy line that moves up and down.

into this reality of change this entails being

Sometimes during this process sometimes it

kind to yourself during these low moments.

just may prove to be harder for no obvious reason.

Rewrite your story Turning over a new that you have created something positive. In looking back and this we miss utilizing

chapter in your life means

FINDING THE RIGHT CROWD

our new lives fully. Its

times we find ourselves pitying ourselves through the opportunity to live never too late to leave that

abusive marriage, begin

a new career, impact other

people‘s lives via

volunteering or even starting

your business. Grab every positive impact on your new life. Take

yourself a chance to do

opportunity you feel will have that breaks when necessary go for some

holiday, try new things, explore your new talents and above all remember to impact others positively.

Finding the right crowd ‗Show me your friends and I‘ll show you your future‘ is not just some cool random quote rather it‘s a biblical concept. Solomon in his wise counsel once said that ‗He that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed ‗Proverbs 13:20. When turning over a new chapter of your life, having the right set of individuals will ensure the best for you. In most cases carrying onto your new chapter with your old friends may serve as a reminder of 8

your past; however, this doesn‘t mean that you shun all your friends. All you need to do is to pick those few ones who have a positive attitude towards life while at all times avoiding those who carry life with a negative attitude. Also if you feel you can‘t avoid some people who were in your old chapter it is high time you start looking for a new job or social circle. Also, remember to smile more and live your life to the fullest.

Flogging a dead horse isn’t worthy Turning on a new chapter in life means having new dreams and ambitions. If you have been trying to succeed in something for some time now and you find it futile it is time you try something new. Trying out something new doesn‘t mean being a failure rather it means that you are strong and smart enough to realize when something is not working and having the strength and courage to work on new projects. In the words of Albert Einstein, ‗insanity is doing that same thing over and over again and expecting new results.‘ Try

THE BOTTOM LINE

not to be ínsane‘by letting those old ambitions and dreams drag you.

Challenge yourself in this new chapter

A new chapter means challenging yourself by contributing to something bigger than you. Through this, you get to change your perspective on things that seemed to be hard in your old chapter. Contributing to something bigger may either mean doing something you feel is fulfilling not only to you but also to the community around you. Remember you get to uplift yourself when you uplift and support others.

The bottom line

It reaches a time when we try to overcome feelings of sadness or some dark past. Turning over a new chapter sometimes may not be easy and will sometimes test your 9

strength of character. It is time you loosen your grip on the past and know that something exciting is awaiting you if you open yourself up to it. Be that bird that moults its frayed feather and gets some new ones to soar even higher. Today we start. Tomorrow we are victorious.

Parenting

Parenting is a process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. One interesting thing about being a parent is that there is great variation in how we raise our children, but at the same time there are many similarities from one parent to another. Parenting styles refers to the combination of strategies that you use to raise your children. Researchers have tried to group parents into four common parenting styles which include; Authoritarian, Authoritative, Permissive and Uninvolved parenting. (1)

Authoritarian parenting.

Authoritarian parents are very strict and controlling. They have a strong sense of justice and of the need for obedience. They are believers in clearly stated rules. Such parents take a dim view of being challenged and they believe kids should be seen not heard they are also famous in saying ―No way!‖ or ―Because I say so!‖Thus these parents are highly demanding but not very responsive. Researchers believe children of authoritarian parents tend to be timid, have a lower self-esteem, lack spontaneity and rely to an unusual degree on the voice of authority. (2)

Authoritative parenting.

Authoritative parents invest time and energy into preventing behavior problems before they start. They use positive discipline strategies to reinforce good behavior like praise or reward systems. Authoritative parents have rules and they explain the reasons behind the rules. They also take their children‘s opinions into account. Authoritative parents put a lot of effort into creating and maintaining a positive relationship with their children. Children raised with authoritative parents tend to be happy and successful, most likely to become responsible adults who feel comfortable expressing their opinions and they are also more likely to be good at making decisions and evaluating safety risks on their own.

(3)

PERMISSIVE PARENTING.

Permissive parents are often accepting, warm and make few demands on their children. They are lenient, avoid confrontation and allow considerable selfregulation. They are quite forgiving and they adopt an attitude of ―kids will be kids.‖ Permissive parents usually take more of a friend role than a parent role. 11

They often encourage their children to talk with them about their problems but they usually don‘t put much effort into discouraging poor choices or bad behavior. They often only step in when there‘s a serious problem. Kids who grow up with permissive parents are more likely to struggle academically since their parents

are less bothered about their performance. They may exhibit more behavioral problems as they don‘t appreciate authority and rules. They often suffer from low self-

(4)

esteem and they are also at a higher risk for health problems like obesity, because permissive parents struggle to limit junk food intake.

UNINVOLVED PARENTING.

The uninvolved parent demands almost nothing and gives almost nothing in return. An uninvolved parent may reply ―whatever.‖ Uninvolved parent tend to have little knowledge of what their children are doing, they don‘t devote much time or energy into meeting children‘s basic needs and expect children to raise themselves. Such kind of parents maybe neglectful but it‘s not always intentional for example, a parent with substance abuse problems or mental health issues may not be able to care for a child‘s physical or emotional needs on a consistent basis. Other times they may be simply overwhelmed with many responsibilities like managing household, paying bills and work and thus lack knowledge about child development. Children with uninvolved parents are likely to struggle with self-esteem issues, tend to perform poorly in school and exhibit frequent behavioral problems and rank low in happiness.

W ITH THIS INFORMATION IT ’ S EASIER FOR ONE TO CLASSIFY HIS OR HER PARENTING STYLE AND SEEK TO EI THER ADOPT OR IMPROVE HIS OR HE R PARENTING SKILLS TO ENSURE HEALTHY UPBRINGING O F THE CHILDREN .

RELATIONSHIP AND PARENTING IN WOMEN

Having a healthy and learning valuable parenting tips is essential for every woman. We have all sorts of relationships from professional relationship, relationship with your family and friends and also relationship with our spouses. Having these relationships is very healthy and is one of the best parts of our lives

For romantic relationship it proves to be the best, finding a person to share your life with, making a commitment and later becoming parents proves to be some awesome stuff. However as women we sometimes find ourselves in unhealthy relationships where our rights as women are violated. The best tip to follow when looking for a good relationship is to remember that good relationships take time and energy form both partners to develop. Also as a woman always ensure that your partner takes care of you the same way you take care of him. If you want to evaluate whether your relationship is healthy and bound to be successful you and your spouse should always:

Treat each other with kindness and respect-In this case learn about each other extensively. As a woman let your

Always consider and respect each other emotional, physical and also sexual limits- as a woman always make sure that your partner respects these attributes

partner know what you like and dislike. Also donâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;t allow your partner to shove you around if you are against something speak out. Let your partner know when he is wrong and always congratulate him in case of some achievement. Fancy each otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;s company- in successful relationship, partners enjoy each others time and always long for the next time they will meet. By spending time 13

together as a woman you get to know your partner in a more open way. You get to know his emotions and even correct each other when needed.

Thus you will not undergo any form of abuse from your partner. Communication and sharing-for any healthy relationship the most essential thing is communication between the two partners. In healthy relationships people don‘t lie, since they highly value honesty and trust. As a woman always ensure that your partner is sincere and open to you. A sense of security- in a healthy relationship you should always enjoy some sense of security. Therefore as a woman always ensure that you feel comfortable when around your partner and you don‘t have the fear of

being put down

hurt. Also

emotionally secure, let your mind be comfortable and relaxed when you are with your partner. THUS YOU WILL NOT UNDERGO ANY FORM OF ABUSE FROM YOUR PARTNER . Communication and sharing-for any healthy relationship the most essential thing is communication between the two partners. In healthy relationships people don‘t lie, since they highly value honesty and trust. As a woman always ensure that your partner is sincere and open to you. A sense of security- in a healthy relationship you should always enjoy some sense of security. Therefore as a woman always ensure that you feel comfortable when around your partner and you don‘t have the fear of being put down or hurt. Also be emotionally secure, let your mind be comfortable and relaxed when you are with your partner.

Finally always be available to your kids no matter their age. In this case kids will talk when something is up for them. Also this happens when you learn to be a good listener. Being around when they come home or even fetching them from school is some good time to interact with them. Therefore as a mother and a good parent find the right ways to be potentially available to your children without it seeming like a demand.

H AVING

A HEALTHY AND SUCCESSFUL RELATIONS HIP WITH YOUR PARTNER FI N ALLY LEADS TO MARRI AGE . U NDER THE UMBRELLA OF MARRIAGE YOU GET TO GRADUATE TO PARENTS . A S FIRST TIME PARENTS YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO SET A GOOD MODE THRO UGH WHICH YOUR KIDS WILL ENJOY BEING A PART O F YOUR LOVING FAMILY . F RANKLY SPEAKING MOTHERS ARE THE FIRST TO DEVELOP A LINK WITH THEIR CH ILDREN ; THEREFORE HAVING THE EXPERTISE OF GOOD PARENTING SHOULD ALW AYS COME HANDY TO AL L WOMEN . S O AS A WOMAN WHO IS ASPIRING TO BE A MOT HER OR IS ALREADY A MOTHER HOW CAN WE MAKE PARE NTING FUN AND ENJOYABLE ?

Start right with a firm foundation A parent-child connection throughout life begins right from the beginning. Taking time off work is essential for mothers who have young ones. Take time to understand your child and always be there to fulfill their needs. Be attentive to your child‘s health and wellbeing. Make time with your child a priority As a woman/mother you have to create time to spend with your young ones. It goes without saying that you can‘t expect a good relationship with your kid if you don‘t have time for him/her. Therefore make it happen and spend some good time with your child. Fostering a good relationship entails having some trust and faith in your child As a parent/mother we have to trust in the power of human development to help our child grow, learn and also mature. We trust that even though today s/he is a kid at the moment finally s/he will grow into a mature person some day. Trust also means not giving up on your child no matter what he or she does. It also means not walking away from the relationship with

your child because deep down you believe that s/he needs you thus do your best to make it work out. Always encourage and instill positive thinking Our kids require our encouragement to see themselves as good people who are capable of good things. Therefore always encourage them and avoid yelling and criticizing them. With good encouragement you kids will form a positive view of the world around them and also they will be assured that there is a mother who always thinks highly of them. Develop a strong communication early enough Paying attention to your kid‘s behavior patterns will help you learn a lot as a mother. Listen to your kid and always be there for him/her. If you aren‘t listening, you will miss the opportunity to learn about your child and also teach/correct him/her. Build some mutual respect with your child Though we as parents have the final say in regard to our young kids and tend to act like the bosses. Do this respectfully and with some empathy, with this trait your child will learn to treat others with respect and to expect to be treated respectfully too.

CONCLUSION RELATIO NSHIP AND PARENTING ARE AN INTEGRAL PART OF ANY WOMAN WHO DREAMS OF LIV ING A PRODUCTIVE LIFE . H OW WE HANDLE THIS IS ALL THAT MATTERS , HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP S FOSTERS GOOD PAREN TING . T AKE TIME AND DEVELOP A GOOD REL ATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARTNER AND ALSO WIT H YOUR CHILD . F OR RELATIONSHIPS BE WISE TO KNOW WHETHER YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIV E OR UNHEALTHY RELATIONSH IP AND ACT FAS T . I NSTILL AND PRACTICE GOOD PARENTING SKILLS AND THE OUTCO ME WILL ALWAYS AMAZE YOU . S ET UP THAT FAMI LY THAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS LONGED F OR AS A WOMAN . 16

Let the light in you shine â&#x20AC;&#x2DC; PEOPLE JUST LIKE STA INED WINDOW SPARKLE AND SHINE WHEN THE SUN IS OUT BUT WHEN THE DARKNES S SETS IN THEIR TRUE BEAUTY IS REVEALED ONLY IF THE RE IS LIGHT FROM WITHIN â&#x20AC;&#x2122;.

In the modern world, we tend to find ourselves in many life situations which sometimes can kill our inner shine. Countless women and (men) worldwide experience difficulties either in their careers or even their personal life that may take all the joy out of their life. It is worth knowing that despite everything the beauty of life is living it to the fullest. Sometimes we tend to sabotage the light within us without knowing the true potential we possess

How do you let your light shine? Letting your light shine entails possessing self-love, self-value and self-confidence. Letting your light shine entails appreciating oneself fully. This process should be focused more on your character and personality rather than materialistic goods. Appreciate who you are rather than what you have. Self-value just like self-love means knowing your true value and also knowing how important you are to those 17

around you. On the other hand, entails having the self-assurance in your personal judgment, ability and power. For your light to shine you must nurture the selfconfidence trait, with this you can generally accomplish your dreams and ambitions without fail.

Why should we shine? Being a ‗light‘ sounds great but sometimes it may sound a little abstract. How can you attain that shine and how does it benefit you and those around you? I like to think of shining as a process whereby the final goal is becoming that kind of person others can look up to and are glad to be around. overcoming all challenges and attaining that shine is a journey fuelled by discipline and commitment. It is standing up for the right values and also knowing your true worth in the face of problems and challenges. Accepting the shine with all your imperfections and not beating yourself up over mistakes is key in this whole journey. Letting out your glow entails deciding to rise above all limitations while not letting negative thoughts control who you are. Accepting others is the next step on the path towards letting out your inner glow, accept people‘s imperfections and also be the first to see their good qualities. Be that strong person who people can turn to for advice since as they believe you won‘t judge them. Through this, your shine will serve as that source of light to others.

Nurturing the source 18

People who want to shine brighter always try to nurture that source of light, engaging in habits such as self-care, ongoing learning, being positive and some good manners are just but a few ways through which we can nurture and bring out the light within us. , on one hand, helps you feel and also look great, incorporating this with some ongoing learning helps in keeping your brain young and active while also seeding wisdom. Having a positive attitude towards everything and hoping for the best helps a lot, it is also of great worth to remember that a lamp doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;t produce light rather it is the electricity flowing through the lamp that causes the light to shine. Thus feed your inner self with the right thoughts and attitude in order to bring out that inner glow. Also when we force the shine it tends to come out as fake and people can tell its fake. Try to nurture your inner glow so that it will come out as genuine as the beautiful rays of the sun.

Meet new people and network more Making connections and hearing from others is one way which you can build on your glow. Taking the time to know other people helps in advancing the feeling you have for others, through the same you are bound to learn more about your strengths when you talk to others. Also, learn to network with people who appreciate your worth and are ready to stand by you at any time. Choosing the wrong crowd to network with will only dim your light.

Let your shine be seen rather heard

Among the common traits of light is that it makes no sound. Light is something you see but not something you hear. On the same note letting your light shine isn‘t much of what we say rather it is much of what we do. When we let our actions have their say we don‘t have to say a word. When you let your inner light glow your actions will tell a lot since you will be facing each passing task with the confidence it deserves.

Letting that inner glow shine is of great importance not only to us but also to those around us, having the right attitude towards life, some better understanding of ourselves and others, having some confidence in life are just some of the traits you will need in this journey. Upon achieving that shine you will embrace life more, create more happiness and be a brighter light to others around you.

Many of us can recall this song, This little light of mine, I‘m gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I‘m gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I‘m gonna let it shine. Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.‖ When we let our light shine not only do we get to brave each and every day‘s experience but we also get to expand our roots and branches while redefining and un-defining ourselves.

LET TALK ABOUT AFRICA

AFRICA WOMEN

Let's talk Africa

Africa has 54 sovereign countries the most in any continent, in matters both land area and population it is the second largest where it is bound by the Mediterranean sea to the north, the Atlantic ocean to the west, the red sea to the northeast and by the Indian Ocean to the south-east. Africa also prides itself on having the youngest amongst all other continents while also being the home to a large diversity of ethnicities, cultures and languages.

THE AFRICAN WOMAN African women are more active as economic

national

agents that anywhere else in the world, in many

level.

places they perform the majority of agricultural

This I

activities and above all they are central to the

believe

household economy and welfare of their

will not

families a role which they play passionately.

only

Despite this pivotal role the African woman

strength

tends to face an array of barriers in her great

bid to achieve her full potential. Some of these

Africa

barriers are related to culture, discriminatory

but also

laws and inequality in the society. Igniting the

ensure

power of the African woman would raise the

that

productive potential of many Africans,

Africa

therefore, delivering that huge boost to Africaâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;s

takes

development potential. The African woman

some

just like the man can contribute and also

great

benefit from the social and economic

stride.

development. Therefore much encouragement should be fuelled so that the African woman can have that strong voice in decision making be it at the household level or even at the 23

‘A FR I C AN

W O M EN , I N G EN ER A L , N E ED T O K N O W T H AT I T ’ S

T O B E T H E W AY T H EY A R E T O SE E T H E

W AY T H E Y AR E AS A ST R E N G T H AN D T O B E LI B ER AT E D F RO M FE A R AN D F RO M SI L EN C E ’

P RO F Wangari

Maathaiinternationally renowned Kenyan environmental political activist and Nobel laureate.

By any global standards, the African woman is not only economically active but also highly entrepreneurial. Agriculture remaining the backbone of Africa‘s economy, women tend to play a major role in this agricultural economy. Basically, they makeup almost two-thirds of the agricultural labour force and also produce the majority of Africa‘s foods. Despite this admirable hardworking nature their productivity tends to be lower than men‘s.

O NLY

WHEN WE CLOSE TH E PRODUCTIVITY GAP F OR THE A FRICAN WOMEN COULD W E MAKE THAT IMPORTANT CONTRIBUTI ON TOWARDS FOOD SECU RITY . T HIS PROCESS WOULD EN TAIL CREATING BETTER LIVE LIHOOD OPPORTUNITIES IN SECTORS WHERE MOS T A FRICANS EARN THEIR LIVING . T HEREFORE WHEN WE ELI MINATE THE BARRIERS TO WOMEN BECOMING MO RE EFFICIENT AND PRODUC TIVE CIT IZENS , WE COULD HELP IN ALL EVIATING HUNGER WHIL E AT THE SAME TIME ENCOUR AGING INCLUSIVITY IN THE BUILDING OF A FRICA . C ONTRARY TO WHAT IS D ISPLAYED ON OU R MEDI A PLAT FORMS OF A POV ERT Y - STRICKEN WAR - TORN A FRICA , IMMENSE OPPORTUNITIE S LIE IN A FRICA . H OWEVER , WITH T HE MAN Y HURDLES PRESENT , GRABBING THESE OPPOR TUNITIES TEND TO BE HARD . F OR IN STANCE , OPERATING A BUSINESS WITHIN A FRICA FOR AN AVERAGE A FRICAN CAN SOMETIMES PROVE TO BE HARD DUE TO A RANGE OF FACTORS INC LUDING LACK OF ACCES S TO FINANCIAL SERVICES , LACK OF BASIC SKILLS AND SOMETIMES THE CH ALLENGE OF BALANCING BUSINESS AND DOMESTIC OBLIGAT ION TENDS TO BE TOO MUCH .

Gender Equality More and more African countries are advocating for gender equality, this increased gender equality has created some great positive impact since women can now enjoy higher levels of human capital, more employment opportunities increased access to assets and resources and also increased rights as proud Africans. Incorporating gender equality in any African country always has some profound effect on the overall potential to contribute positively to the economy. Gender equality also has

some long-term effects of influencing the welfare, education and economic potential of coming generations.

Investing in the African woman Research has shown that investing in women and girls tends to be the most effective way of enhancing development. Despite the African man being the head of the family the African mother tends to be the backbone of the same, therefore improving the quality of life of the girl or woman in question enables the woman to become the champion for both the family and the community. A society which prefers its women to be illiterate, unhealthy and voiceless will pay the ultimate price via their children inheriting the same traits. Present African governments should ensure that these factors which brake African developments are dealt with a move which can frog leap the same nations to first class states.

African women as leaders Whether in their homes or communities women serve as the unseen leaders across Africa. When conflict strikes women are viewed as the voices of reconciliation, in times of peace the presence of women serves as a true representation of the breadth of the African society. The African continent should shun outdated laws and practices that treat women as less than full citizens. The promotion of the African woman/girl

whether in active citizenship, voice and leadership have that potential to make the great continent of Africa more vibrant and also more productive. 25

Conclusion Following some robust economic development in most African countries, I believe that this is the optimistic moment for Africa. Contrary to the old times, most African countries have been able to formulate laws which advocate for gender equality which in turn promotes inclusivity in the journey of a nation‘s development. We thus recognize the African woman whose pivotal role in either the family, community or a country at large can never be underrated. If we don‘t deal with the obstacles that prevent the African woman from shining the price will not only be paid by the women but by the society as a whole.

SELF IENTIFICATION UNDERSTANDING THE QUESTION.. WHO AM I? I AM DEBORAH FUNMI MUPAPA

W HAT IS S ELF -I DEN TITY P ERSONALITY

AND HOW MIGH T YOU MAKE A SUPERIOR

WHO AM I? UNDERSTANDING SELF IDENTITY My identity? An inquiry everybody sooner or later will ask themselves, unquestionably an inquiry numerous associations, religions and self-improvementGuru's have endeavoured to give a response to for your sake. It is my assessment that our comprehension of our parts on the planet and the universe, and how to impact it have made considerable progress in the most recent many years of mankind.

FO R O N E T R U ST , T H AT R E SP O N S ES T O T H E I N Q UI R Y "W HO A M I"? T HA T O R I GI N AT E FR O M R E LI G I O US O R T H EO RI ES CR E AT E D I N T H E BRO N Z E A G E – A RE N O T GO I N G T O BE T H AT U S E FU L T O H EL P I N G Y O U T O CO M P R E H EN D AN D A L L T HE MO R E CR I T I CA L LY C HA N G E YO UR I D EN T I T Y . B EYO N D AN Y DO UB T I T I S D E C EN T T O B E LI E V E T H AT EV ER YT HI N G I N T H E U N I V E R SE W A S M A D E O N LY FO R YO U SI N C E Y O U AR E UN I Q U E – Y E T A LA RG E P O RT I O N O F U S ( O N T H E O F F C HA N C E T H AT W E C AN HO N E ST L Y S E LF R EF L E CT ) K N O W T HI S I S SI MP L Y N O T T H E SI T UAT I O N .

Life, People, Events and Circumstances are reliably irregular and flighty – and absolutely not intended for your best advantages constantly.

The accompanying article will give you a comprehension of your identity, it will give a basic and essential clarification that will furnish you with the capacity to appreciate and figure reasonable approaches to acknowledge or change your identity at your center self. So letsanalyse a portion of these builds… .

IN A NUTSHELL – WHO ARE YOU?

Your identity is your Self Identity, the way you take a gander at yourself and your relationship to the world. Understanding this, enables you to look at your identity and all the more significantly make who you need to be.

Gives begin with a fundamental meaning of a portion of the key players and afterward a chance to look at how to make yourself…

TAKE THE MMPI-2 ONLINE.

The most utilized Personality Analysis device in America. A total investigation of your identity, your qualities, shortcomings and identity attributes. Tap the Image to discover more

THE COMPONENTS OF SELF IDENTITY

SELF IDENTITY

Alludes to the worldwide understanding a man has of themselves. Self Identity is made out of generally perpetual selfevaluations, for example, identity qualities, information of one's aptitudes and capacities, one's occupation and diversions, and familiarity with one's physical properties.

For instance, the announcement, "I am apathetic" is a self-appraisal that adds to the self-idea. Interestingly, the announcement "I am worn out" would not regularly be thought about piece of somebody's self-idea, since being drained is a brief state.

The Self Identity isn't confined to the present. It incorporates past selves and future selves. Future selves or "conceivable selves" speak to people's thoughts of what they may progress toward becoming, what they might want to wind up, and what they fear getting to be. They compare to trusts, fears, models, objectives, and dangers. Conceivable selves may work as impetuses for future conduct and they additionally give an evaluative and interpretive setting for the present perspective of self.

Limit Self Identity Boundary Your limit is a much the same as the limit lines of a property. It is the unmistakable and characterized fringe that encompasses the house with every one of its fortunes (your Self Identity can be thought of as your home or property) . The limit lines let others know how far the responsibility for property goes. In a selfimprovement sense the limits are more hard to see and know about. Yet, more or less your limit is your inclinations or guidelines you have about things like

1) What you will acknowledge in conduct from and towards yourself

D&KSUOMI MAGAZINE 2) Your capacity to state either YES and NO to occasions or articulations.

For instance.. You know somebody who you appreciate being around socially yet they at times do things that involve a little unlawful wrongdoing â&#x20AC;&#x201C; an outcome others are harmed in a little money related or passionate way. While your together they need you to enable them to out with something that you know is illicit. Do you help them since you like them regardless of whether you would not do this without anyone else's help? Are you ready to be happy with saying No to the demand

WORLD VIEW Alludes to the structure or system that a man uses to compose and characterize what the world is to them. The World View ought to enable us to see how the world capacities and how it is organized. The totality, everything that exists around us, including the physical universe, the Earth, life, brain, society and culture. We ourselves are a critical piece of that world. In this manner, a world view ought to likewise answer the fundamental inquiry: "Who are we?

The World View is our standard of how things are or ought to be on the planet we live in. It is a worldwide idea that makes up our qualities and ethics, our principles of how we and others should act, relate and work inside the world. To a great many people the world view is to a great extent an ambiguous arrangement of principles and rules that we have unknowingly received from the educational encounters and impacts we have. We received from our companions,

family religious gatherings, and society, only sometimes making a dynamic procedure of making our own. We can make parts of our reality see however our brains, utilizing either sane and cognizant choices or passionate charged thoughts and ideas. The World View is a channel which we make judgments of others and ourselves.

Confidence: Alludes to a man's general assessment or evaluation of her or his own particular worth at any one point in time. As a rule it is a passionate measure of how well we are satisfying our reality see. Confidence is maybe the absolute most essential enthusiastic check of our capacity to feel all other positive feelings and convictions about ourselves. For instance it influences our measure of joy, achievement, prosperity, certainty, affirmations and so on, and is comprised of these emotions in a joined sensation called Self Esteem.

D&KSUOMI W HILE S ELF E STEEM IS A GENERAL PERSPECTIVE , IT IS INFLUENCED BY CHANGES IN ANY OF THE DIFF ERENT SENTIMENTS THAT INFL UENCE IT TO UP . F OR INSTANCE A DROP IN CERTAINTY WI LL BRING DOWN S ELF E STEEM FOR THE TIME BEING . D RAWN OUT N EGATIVE EXPERIENCE WILL CREATE A MORE EXTENDED TERM DIMINISHMENT OF S ELF E STEEM , YET IN THE MEANTIME A POSITIVE PASSIONAT E ORDEAL WILL EXPAND THE SENSATION . I N STRAIGHTFORWARD TERMS , WHEN YOU ENCOUNTER AN OCCASION OR CIRCUMST ANCE THAT BACKINGS Y OUR REALITY SEE YOUR E STEEM INCREMENTS AND THE OTHER WAY AROUND .

HOW SELF IDENTITY FIT'S INTO THE CHARACTER BUILDING MODEL

WHAT IS SELF ESTEEM Presently, that we have a fundamental meaning of the different segments of your Character (Self Identity, Boundaries/World View and Self Esteem); lets perceive how our model fits together.

Your Self Identity, (the center of your identity) is encompassed by your Boundary which channels both outward and internal experience you have to the world.

The subsequent enthusiastic experience you have from a circumstance, individual or occasion is then controlled by how well you dealt with the involvement in connection to your reality see.

For Example. You have a firm administer in your reality see that "On the off chance that somebody regards me they won't shout at me". In an occasion where somebody begins to shout at you, on the off chance that you have a limit display (a firm inclination to what you say yes or no as well) you will state "Kindly don't holler, it indicates me you have no regard for me" and the individual will comprehend what is satisfactory to you, and you will build your confidence since you had honesty.

In the event that you don't have a limit about hollering, the individual will shout at you â&#x20AC;¦ and you will feel as per your reality see that they don't regard you and will lose Self Esteem. Likewise on the grounds that you are not satisfying your own models, you feel terrible and lose more confidence.

You may jump at the chance to think about the limit similar to a holder that encompasses you, It ensures your Self Identity, as well as acts much like a gas tank to hold your Self Esteem. Inside the limit is your measure of Self Esteem. Furthermore, as we probably am aware the feeling of confidence is a measure of how well you measure up to your reality see. It is controlled by your activities and responses to your general surroundings as dictated by the principles that you have, of how the world ought to be.

Your Self Identity develops and is made up from your experience through the limits of how well you measure up to your reality see. Self Identity turns into a dependable meaning of your character.

WHERE PROBLEMS ARISE IN SELF IDENTITY Every individual perspective of the world is special to them, and nobody has an impeccable world view. Actually the vast majority don't have a reasonable or cognizant comprehension of what their reality see is, they are obscure on their standards to carry on with a decent and gainful life. This dubiousness about their guidelines of how to carry on with a decent and profitable life is reflected in broken limits or an absence of inclination for their identity, what they like and what is proper conduct. In some cases there is no inclination at all which makes holes in the limit.

ACCOUNTING FOR SELF IDENTITY A hole can be characterized as an opening in your limit. It is an absence of an inclination or run you have about yourself or your conduct or your place on the planet. At an essential level, it is your powerlessness to state or hear the word 'No'. For instance, you won't not have the capacity to state no to a relatives demand's or enable them to escape with something unsuitable for you, if done by somebody outside of the family

A dubious inclination or decide is something that you are a little wishy-washy on. It is an idea or circumstance where you have a thought of what is satisfactory to you (in your reality see). For instance, you may characterize yourself by a specific religious confidence, however live in transgression as per that confidence and have the capacity to legitimize it to yourself

A very much characterized segment of your limit is an inclination you have and stay with. It is an unmistakable proclamation of your identity that you can express to yourself and to people around you. Illustrations may incorporate a political view, your position on premature birth, or any emphatically held conviction about something

At the point when your Boundary (the compartment that holds your confidence) has holes or obscure inclinations (rules) in it, you need control in your basic leadership. You are in a position where individuals or circumstances can reach in and press your catches. This is a circumstance or occasion that will make pressure, where your absence of an unmistakable inclination can make you feel confounded. Without a limit channel for your Identity you are in a position where you will deplete your feeling of Self Esteem.

What's more, when you don't have an unmistakable feeling of your inclinations, or an absence of confidence to follow up on them, individuals can control you, or they can pester you, or your ready to get irritated with yourself, yet above all since you can't present a reasonable idea of your identity to everyone around you, individuals won't be capable comprehend where you remain on something which makes it troublesome for them to create regard or trust for you.

For instanceâ&#x20AC;Ś . How about we accept somebody you know approaches you for some help. They have to get $300 until payday on the grounds that there was something they totally required and spent all their cash on. You definitely know this individual needs self-control, they never have any cash yet are continually demonstrating to you their new shoes (if reality lets accept this is the thing that they 'required' so severely).

IN THE EVENT THAT YOU HAVE CLEAR BOUNDARIES In the event that you have a reasonable inclination for yourself, an unmistakable and very much characterized manage of your reality see, that you (and others) should live inside their methods and new shoes are an extravagance not a need. About this world view run you have a characterize limit inclination, you can state "No" to this demand. The individual may endeavor to control you or push your catches by saying something like "You know a weekend ago I brought you beverages, and you can't do me this little support", and you won't be affected.

You have a strong administer about this, when they push you, they feel the protection, your immovability and your determination (your limit) and keeping in mind that they dislike your choice, they will 'regard' you for it, and know they cannot get this support out of you. 32

You will since you have experienced a circumstance that you stayed consistent with your identity, will like yourself. You will since you took after your reality see rules, fill your tank of confidence somewhat more which reinforces your Self Identity. Self Identity

IN THE EVENT THAT YOU HAVE VAGUE BOUNDARIES In the event that you just have a dubious administer in your reality see about this, you may need to consider it for a minute. You may have the world view decide that it is OK to loan cash to loved ones to help them out in light of the fact that they are your companion or family and it is just appropriate to assist individuals you adore. It may rely upon the circumstance and the individual asking, and maybe in the event that they simply guarantee to be more watchful next time you will give them the cash.

In this circumstance, you have questions about yourself and your identity and what you accept, and keeping in mind that you may fulfill another person by helping them out, you are uncertain it was the correct choice to make. You may feel a little befuddled a while later with respect to why you gave cash away you required, or you might be glad to help a companion. Since your limit here is obscure you have no measure to influence your confidence and you are liable to looking for outer affirmation you made the best decision.

O N THE OFF CHANCE THA T YOU HAVE HOLES IN YOUR B OUNDARIES Presently how about we expect you have a hole in limit about your reality see administer, a gap with regards to individuals requesting cash. The individual asking is disclosing to you they are in require, they would not ask something else, and you need them to like you so you give them the cash they request. Come payday, they are out with their companions having an incredible time and they don't offer to pay you back. You get some information about it and they concoct a rationalization and guarantee one week from now. This individual knows you are feeble, there is no regard for you or your needs, they can get what they need and you offer no amount of significant worth to them since you're so natural to control.

You then again understand sold out and left, your control of your feeling of your identity and your place on the planet is contingent on another person and what they do. You start to endure on the grounds that you figure they 'should' carry on a specific way and they are definitely not. You are in a circumstance where as per your reality see, as indicated by your guidelines about existence, individuals ought not burn through cash on things they don't require and can't manage, but since of the hole in your limit you didn't satisfy your desires of how you should carry on with your life. Your feeling of confidence depletes as you invest your opportunity and vitality agonizing over something that is currently outside of your control.

CONTROLLING THE CONTROLLABLE SITUATIONS AND EVENTS IN YOUR LIFE

C ONTROLLING YOUR S ELF I DENTITY When you have an unmistakably characterize world view, one where your standards are known to you (and recollect not a lot of individuals have any thought of what their reality see is) you can make inclinations or limits around yourself. At that point as life encounters come around you settle on choices in light of your limits, it expands your feeling of confidence and makes a more grounded character of your identity in your self personality. You can plainly characterize the breaking points of the degree of your control.

On account of mental emotions, you comprehend that you are the special case who can influence you to feel a specific way. You comprehend that things outside of your Self Identity, can just influence you with there is a hole in your limit about a world view run the show. Others may endeavor to control the result of a circumstance or your emotions, yet your limit will bob off and shield you from any endeavors to control or control you. You will know the proper behavior to have uprightness with your self personality and character. You will recognize what solicitations, occasions and circumstances you say No or Yes as well. They can't push your catches and influence you to react in a way that gets them an outcome.

You likewise comprehend that you are just ready to control your identity, and that while you can make a practical insight on how others may carry on, you can't decide their reality see or what limits they may or won't not have and how they may act. You don't wrongly attempt to get comes about by controlling someone else's World View and Self Identity.

Take the MMPI-2 on the web. The most utilized Personality Analysis instrument in America. A total investigation of your identity, your qualities, shortcomings and identity characteristics. Tap the Image to discover more 34

Living a free life as a woman

L IVING A FREE LIFE AS A WOMAN As a committed woman it means that some responsibilities highly depend on you. These demands may range from footing bills, taking care of your family, managing your profession/career and also being committed to your well being. With all these demands on the table your life will never be completely stress free. Actually looking at challenges in a more critical way they actually help us to grow in all quarters of life. But as women we tend to subject ourselves to too much stress thus making us unhappy and also unhealthy. As women how can we make our lives happier and healthier and also how can we ensure that we live a stress free life? When a woman frees herself from issues that pin her down, one thing for sure is that everyone is bound to benefit. Due to the many responsibilities bestowed on a woman, a free woman will handle these responsibilities happily contrary to one who is not free. For a woman who wants to gain her independence and live a fulfilling life, always ensure that:

Y OU

LIVE IN THE PRESE NT - A LL OF US HAVE A PAST , SOME OF THE SITUATIO NS THAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST MAY SHADOW OUR PROGRESS . T HEREFORE ALWAYS AVOID D WELLING ON YOUR PAST AND ALWAYS FOCUS ON THE PRESENT . W HEN YOU WASTE YOUR T IME DWELLING ON THE PAST THE GOOD THINGS THAT ARE HAPPENING IN YOU R LIFE MAY PASS WITH OUT YOU NOTICING . T HE ON LY THING THAT YOU CAN G AIN FROM YOUR PAST W OULD BE THE VALUABLE LESSONS THAT THEY TAUGHT YOU . T HEREFORE MAKE PEACE WITH YOU R PAST AND D ON â&#x20AC;&#x2122; T RELY ON SITUATIONS Y OU CANNOT FIX . T RY REBRANDING YOU RSE LF BY UNLEASHING YOUR NEW WOMAN AND START A NE W FREE LIFE GUARANTE ED OF A HEALTHY AND HAPPY LIFE .

Enjoying a free life as a woman also involves

Always take care of yourself- as women sometimes

surrounding yourself with those people who always

situations and challenges may be overwhelming. No

make you happy-As a woman you have those types

matter how dire the situation is never drop guard as a

of friends who may add very little or no value to

woman. Ignoring your body through unhealthy

your life, actually some are from your past life.

eating and ignoring your sleep harms you more.

These people actually just bring stress and drama

Therefore don‘t harm yourself with the situation you

into your life because they act as a burden and

are going through.

sometimes you may feel as if it is your responsibility to deal with their issues. For women who want to free themselves evaluating your friends is a wise priority. Make your circle of friends those who value and appreciate you at all times. With this you will be assured of living a stress free life where you enjoy some mutual love and freedom, between you

Meditate a lot- this is one ingredient which fosters a stress free life among women. This is because with meditation you feel more refreshed and relaxed. With meditation you are able to regulate your emotions and also maintain that outward glow. Also it will help you reduce your anxiety, tension and stress.

and those that you love. Look for a personal therapist-Being free as a woman Care less about what people think- for women who want to live that free life, always be ready to care less about what others will be thinking. This means that your happiness and freedom should solely depend on you. Don‘t dwell too much on what

involves not burdening yourself with stress but instead seeking professional help from a therapist. Sharing what is going on in your life with a therapist will ensure clarity and insight and also help you to eliminate doubt in critical issues.

people around you are going to say, this is as long as you are doing the right thing. If there is something

Live through your own life and start enjoying it-

that you fancy doing that will bring you happiness

modern technology has come along with reality T.V

then that is all that should matter to you. Render

shows and magazines. Though you can be a good

peoples views as irrelevant when it comes to your

fan of these shows never live your life through other

happiness as a woman. Also if you dwell too much

people‘s experience. Therefore instead of lounging

on peoples‘ views you will end up with a life full of regrets instead of a meaningful experience. around, longing for a life of fun and travel, create time to go out there and make this reality your own. As women we need to stop focusing and directing our time, effort and attention on other people‘s lives e.g. celebrities and start concentrating on making our own lives better. Reflect on your life and your decisions and figure out the best way to make your life attractive and enjoyable. 36

Avoid always complaining about life- some women nag and complain about everything. Though some complaining is constructive the only other thing it brings is negative energy in your life. Therefore change your perspective regarding the happenings in your life and you will note a lot of change and happiness in your life. Be happy and avoid grudges and anger- stop holding grudges and avoid anger to live a free life as a woman. The reason for this is that when you hold grudges you may think that you are making the other person suffer but in the long run you suffer too. Therefore the sooner you stop caring and are content with your life the better. Take stress free tasks that you can handle- as a woman you often find yourself multi tasking due to limited time or pressure. Avoid taking too many tasks simultaneously because this can drive you to the brink of insanity. Just take one thing and clear it, before taking another. This will help you do your tasks faster and also keep you free from distractions. In conclusion living a free life as a woman is beneficial to you and the society at large. Always avoid stress at all costs and live your life to the fullest.

Living a free life as a woman 37

Believe in the women in you With all the responsibilities and demands bestowed on women being one may not prove to be that easy. Ranging from being a lover, wife, mother and even a breadwinner a woman‘s responsibility is just endless. But that‘s the beauty of it all women are the building blocks of the society, therefore unleashing the best inner self as a woman is the best thing that can happen to a woman.

F IRST

WE SHOULD NOTE THAT ALL WOMEN ARE G REATLY ADMIRED IN ONE CAPACITY OR ANOT HER . W HETHER IT ’ S FOR BEING A GREAT MUM , GREAT WIFE OR A GREA T BOSS ANY WOMAN HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BRING OUT THE BES T I N HER . T HERE IS THAT INN ER B EAUTY ABOUT A WOMAN WHO BE LIEVES IN HERSELF AND SHE K NOWS THAT SHE HAS THE POTENTIAL TO ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING THAT HER MIND IS SET TO A CHIEVE . A LSO DESPITE THE OBST ACLES SHE REMAINS UNDETERR ED AND SHE IS NEVER THROWN OUT OF HER PATH . T HIS BEAUTY IS ALSO EVIDENT IN WOMEN WHO WHEN THEY FALL THEY ARE Q UICK TO PICK THEMSELVES U P A ND MOVE ON .

This form of inner beauty within a woman proves to be the source of her feminine power. But the trick is finding it and letting it out. Upon unleashing the inner self and utilizing this power to the fullest you will find that even your outer self as a woman is highly complemented. This undying well of the inner strength of a woman will guide her through her work, in raising her family, care for those around her and take care herself. Therefore how can we tap and nurture our inner self as women? From the mentioned advantages it is evident that tapping our inner self and utilizing it in our everyday activities will help us a lot. This highly involves getting in touch with the softer personal side of our selves. Though women are rising into power positions the society we live in is still masculine goal driven and it is high time we as women need to start appreciating ourselves for our creativity and also start making our lives better. 38

The process of unleashing your inner self revolves around exploring within your feminine strength and inner self and getting to know what it means to you. What are you set to accomplish in life in The process of unleashing your inner self revolves around exploring within your every aspect of being a woman? Are there some inner ambitions inside you that you need to feminine strength and inner self and getting to know what it means to you. What are accomplish? Have you been neglecting your inner self and putting other peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;s priorities and you set to accomplish in life in every aspect of being a woman? Are there some inner needs in favor of yours. Do you fancy yourself as women are you also passionate in your roles as ambitions inside you that you need to accomplish? Have you been neglecting your a woman? inner self and putting other peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;s priorities and needs in favor of yours. Do you fancyityourself womeninare also passionate roles as to a woman? Also when comes toasbelieve theyou woman in you, it isinofyour importance love and adore your feminine self everyday. All it entails is worshipping the wild sacredness of your body and adoring Also when it comes to believe in the woman in you, it is of importance to love and the woman who lives deep down within. With this you will come face to face with your inner adore your feminine self everyday. All it entails is worshipping the wild sacredness of woman and also come to understand your own truth and wisdom. It feels like your outer self and your body and adoring the woman who lives deep down within. With this you will the inner self are moving in a rhythm. You get to enjoy life even more and also fall in love with come face to face with your inner woman and also come to understand your own truth your feminine body all this through finding your inner sanctuary. and wisdom. It feels like your outer self and the inner self are moving in a rhythm. You getinner to enjoy lifeyour evenguide, more itand also fallvaluable in love with yourtofeminine body this Make Also let your self be is always to listen your inner selfallspeak. through finding your and inner sanctuary. your inner woman the lead also practice, living and doing from your feminine center. Also on the same point of letting your inner self guide you, trusting your intuition sometimes is all that it Also let your inner self be your guide, it is always valuable to listen to your inner self needs. Practice and learn to trust and give credit to your inner self. speak. Make your inner woman the lead and also practice, living and doing from your feminine Also the you sametopoint of letting your self inner self guide you,weight trustingto your Another worthy center. tip which willonhelp tap into your inner would be giving your is all that it needs. Practice and learnyou to trust and givetocredit integrity. Inintuition this casesometimes when we decide to build our inner confidence are required be always to yourforinner accountable yourself. actions. Believing in the woman in you entails living to the fullest, loving to the fullest, taking the lead, honoring yourself and finally declaring your intent of taking Another worthy tip which will help you to tap into your inner self would be giving responsibility for all your choices. Truly realizing our ability to choose and honor our integrity weight to your integrity. In this case when we decide to build our inner confidence helps us claim freedom in our dreams, our actions, and our quest to live intentional lives. Give you are required to be always accountable for your actions. Believing in the woman in weight to your word and your actions. The effort is worth the self-respect it creates. With this you entails living to the fullest, loving to the fullest, taking the lead, honoring yourself you are assured of living a full responsible life where all your actions rhyme with your inner self. and finally declaring your intent of taking responsibility for all your choices. Truly realizing our ability to choose and honor our integrity helps us claim freedom in our dreams, our actions, and our quest to live intentional lives. Give weight to your word and your actions. The effort is worth the self-respect it creates. With this you are assured of living a full responsible life where all your actions rhyme with your inner self.

I AM STRONG Let things light you up. Appreciate the small achievements in life, learning a new recipe, celebrate your birthday, celebrate your spouse or children and also treat yourself. This is nutritious to the inner self and finally you will see that your normal life will be more enjoyable. Getting excited about those little things will always remind you that your delight is always key to your life. Also it is wise to note that stepping into your personal power as a woman is not accomplished through force or manipulation, but it is through realizing our natural state of goodness. As a woman who wants to accomplish this, harnessing your inner energy and confidence to create a positive difference in the world is all that we need to do to live fulfilling lives. Also apart from loving yourself it is also wise to adorn yourself to shine. Wear outfits that awaken your inner woman and also make you feel beautiful externally. Tapping your inner

View your inner womanhood as the lead and let it be a reminder of your divine nature and beauty.

power may also be as simple as listening and also respecting your body. This may include honoring your body through eating well, having a good nap, undertaking a good hobby or even taking up that challenge that you have been withholding for so long.

I N CONCLUSION TO EXPL ORE THIS WONDERFUL C ONCEPT OF INNER SELF AND FE MININE POWER WITHIN EVERY WOMAN , START THIS BY RELEASING THOSE CONCEPTS THAT DON â&#x20AC;&#x2122; T RESONATE WITH YOU . L ET GO OF THOSE FEELINGS THAT SABOTAGE YOUR MISSION OF LETTING YOU TO BE WHO YOU ARE MEANT TO BE . L EARN TO LOVE YOURSELF THE WAY YOU ARE , ALWAYS BE KIND TO YOURSELF AND TREAT Y OURSELF AND OTHER PE OPLE . V IEW YOUR INNER WOMAN HOOD AS THE LEAD AND LET IT BE A REMINDER OF YOU R DIVINE NATURE AND BEAUTY . 40

I am not a shame as a woman Let‘s begin by first knowing the real definition of shame. This can be defined as a painful, social emotion which may result from the comparison of one‘s self state of being to the ideal social standards. Also it can be said to be that painful emotion which is caused by consciousness of perceived guilt, some shortcoming or impropriety. Shame is not to be confused with guilt; the latter is a painful feeling of regret and responsibility for one‘s actions. Shame is that acutely self conscious state in which a person imagines oneself in the eye of the other. It should be noted that shame is a condition or state which can affect anyone but women tend to be affected more compared to their male counterparts. But with the right motivation this is a condition that can be dealt with before it takes its toll on a person. Basically shame in women stems from the society‘s expectation towards them. This ranges from society‘s perception of a woman‘s beauty, body size, achievement, success and also unfair comparison.

M AJOR PERCEPTIONS THAT CAUSES SHAME AND BELITTLES WOMEN IN THE SOCIETY AND HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM . Mostly this is caused by a woman‗s comparison of their own bodies to the mythical idealized, slim bodies portrayed by the media. The media is undeniably one of the 41

major impacting forces in the society. From magazines, T.V shows, movies and social media it has become a necessary evil in the society. Credited due to its many positive impacts, the media also comes with some negative impacts in the society. For example an ideal female body as created by the media is that of a slim, perfect figure and also a cute face. This has led to weight and even beauty dissatisfaction among women; this is due to the unfound perception that weight is an attribute to which people in this case women have control over. Thus getting ‗big‘ tends to be a choice this is according to the media. Therefore as women how can we deal with this shame associated with this useless comparison which deprives us the beauty of living a fulfilling life. We can begin this process through creating a world where all women can make choices about their appearance and let this not be dictated by others. This can be done through eliminating the ridicule levied against the women who don‘t fit the ‗state of the art ‗ideal woman. With this we open the possibility of building a social change where we as women create a world where each of us celebrates and delights in our physical bodies. With this correct attitude we will be able to feel more proud and also be more able to control our lives. Another source of shame among women would be caused by societal influences. In this case the persistent concentration on the factor of fashion and other bodily adornments is a source of shame to women who do not achieve these. This gender role specialization which includes heavy emphasis on how women should look can cause women to continually seek reassurance about their appearance to make sure that they are socially acceptable. Without achieving this most women can be subject to ridicule or rejection. Therefore how do we deal with this factor? We need first to note that we as women are the standard bearers of morality in many cultures. We have the responsibility of taking care of our families while also balancing it with our professions. It is not an easy task, sometimes lagging in fashion and latest designer products may be brought due to this commitment. Thus it is appropriate to take care of our families but also never forget about yourself as a woman. Take care of yourself eat healthy, join a book club or something that you fancy, hit the gym regularly, always be happy a lot and above all maintain your family. Always remember that your qualities as a woman including good dressing, perfect hygiene and good health will paint your family as adorable to the outside world. The shame brought by not being fashion conscious can be dealt through a gentle analysis of your priorities. Take care 42

of your family while at the same time take good care of yourself and you will note that this kind of shame will eventually disappear and even you will be more happy and productive.

Self objectification also can cause shame if not dealt with. This is due to the notion that women are perceived as sexual objects by the society. Lets be frank the media has extensively fostered this notion through their advertising methods. This form of shame can be shunned effectively through focusing on the opportunities that present themselves. Many women have risen to leadership positions and manage big companies; others are in the sports industry and have created a big impact on this industry. The entertainment industry is also another field which has seen women utilize their talents and opportunities effectively. Therefore as women we can shun this form of shame by focusing on ones purpose or calling. It is advisable to look for a mentor to guide you through your calling, shun self objectification, and avoid using your body for manipulative purposes respect your body. For the young women it is time to engage in athletics and extracurricular activities that focus on competency, ability and action this can protect against self-objectification, perhaps because of the pronounced mind-body interaction. On the other hand, sports that focus on appearance, sexiness and thinness (e.g., cheerleading and dance) can heighten self objectification. Also for young ladies and students concentrate more on school achievement and community activism, and always value your bodies for strength and effectiveness, not only appearance. Comprehensive sexual education also helps to build communication skills, and promotes a notion of sexual responsibility that includes respect for oneself.

Women, being the pillars and mothers of the society should always be confident and shun all forms of shame that was previously associated with being a woman. Live to the fullest and never at one time sabotage your success by subjecting yourself to unnecessary shame. This will lead to increased societal rewards and social powers.

BELIEVE IN THE WOMEN IN YOU 43

Turn your Failure into a miracle. Failure could be defined as a state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective. But now, what are some of the reasons why people fail?. It could be because they are afraid to stand out from the crowd, they are not persistent enough, they fail to network and build strong relationships, they are too distracted or they don't take responsibility for what happens in their life. These and many others are some highlighted reasons why people fail including fear of success. Failure can give a blow to one's self-esteem if they are not emotionally grounded we've heard many go down the road of depression to serious mental conditions while others commit suicide. We cannot deny the fact that failure affects our psychology in the insight that it is linked to our sense of self-worth, when a person doesn't believe he or she has the ability to succeed (or if repeated failures diminish that belief) then the person will engage in practices that seek to preserve his or her own self-worth. Is failure all that bad? Honestly, it totally depends on how every individual perceives the situation at hand if you have a positive perspective you can surely turn your failure into a miracle. We are human beings and failure is part of the human experience, failure is an event it's not who you are. Failure is never final if you have the God-given desire and direction to change your destiny. One way of turning your failure into a miracle is by first admitting it when you mess up, the best way to overcome failure is to face it, learn from it and move on, the living Bible says in the book of Proverbs 28:13 "A man who fails to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance".

S ECONDLY BOLDLY REFUS E TO ACCEPT FAILURE AS FINAL REGARDLESS OF HOW BA DLY YOU MAY HAVE MESSED BECAUSE FAILURE SHOULD BE OUR TEACHER , NOT OUR UNDERTAKER , FAILURE IS DELAY , NOT DEFEAT . I T IS A TEMPORARY DETOUR , NOT A DEAD END .

T HIRDLY

CONCENTRATE ON WHAT YOU WANT TO ACCOMPLI SH , HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SOMEONE SAY THEY ARE A JACK OF ALL TRADES BUT A MASTER OF NONE ? SUCH AN ADMISSION GENERALLY MEANS THE PERSON USUALLY DOESN ' T HAVE THE ABILITY TO CONCENTRA TE IN A SINGLE AREA OF NEED UNTIL 44

THEY MASTER IT , SUCCESS DOESN ' T COME EASY ON A SIL VER PLATTER , IT REQUIRES A LOT OF HARD WORK AND DEDICA TION DESPITE THE DIFFICULTIES AND SHORTCOMINGS THAT COME ALONG , FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WA NT TO ACHIEVE AND DON ' T GIVE UP .

A NOTHER WAY TO TURN YOUR FAILURE INTO A MIRACLE IS TO DECIDE IN YOUR HEART , DECREE AND DECLARE WITH THE WORDS OF YOUR MOUTH THAT YOUR D REAMS AND YOUR GOALS WILL COME TO PASS DESPITE PREV IOUS SETBACKS .

P ROVERBS 3:5-6 IN THE A MPLIFIED B IBLE SAYS :

―Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.‖ When we allow God to take on our lives we are assured of a smooth path, we only have to stay positive even if it takes longer to reap the fruits of our hard work. Last but not least on how to turn your failure into a miracle is by elevating your thinking. We cannot focus on things that happened yesterday, last week, six months or three years ago. If we do. . .we will always remain the victim. Instead, we must elevate our thinking to concentrate on the good things in our lives....the things that are going right. Albert Einstein once said:

“W E

CANNOT SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS WIT H THE S AME LEVEL OF THINKING THAT CREATE D THEM . F REE YOUR MIND FROM T HE MISTAKES OF THE PAST . . . BONDAGES OF THE PRES ENT AND FEAR OF THE FUTURE . A GAIN WE CAN LEARN FR OM THE MOST S UCCESSF UL PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO EACH T IME ADMIT THAT IT WAS NOT EAS Y TO BE W HERE THEY ARE TODAY , T HEIR STORIES INSPIR E US AND EN ABLE US T O CONTINUE PRESSING ON . N OW IMAGINE T HIS , A LBERT E INSTEIN WHOSE NAME IS SYN ONY MOUS WITH INT ELLIGEN CE AND A KNOWN GENIUS DIDN ' T START SPEAKING UNT IL HE WAS FOUR , READING UNTIL HE WAS SEVEN AND WAS THOUGHT TO BE MENTAL LY HANDICAPPED .

Why International women‘s Conference What an incredible journey of life As a woman!, I was once a victim of sexual abuse, humiliated and asking why and who can take this pain away from me, I felt like I can‘t make it anymore in life, am not anymore a woman, I thought no man who ever look after me because I was raped, thinking am alone without family. Tears,pain,loneliness. I thought all my dreams are gone, I used to sit Alone and wonder: why am I here in the first place? Those were some painful moments, but the very moment I know that the point of every failure is to make me move on. Once I realize that each day of my life brings a new chance for me, than I have to be able to move on and be happy and never look back. Thinking I have to show the world how important women are. But I know very well that am not just the only women who have been in this painful situation, there are many women who need someone to be by their side, someone to give smile to their facing, some to bring their voices to the world and their can‘t break the silence alone. Three years ago, when I came back from a trip, from Africa I was having a talk with one of my Finnish friend who has not been able to Break the silence of her life from younger age, keeping the secret from her family, she was so depressed, thinking life is just unfair of being a woman but when I shared my own life experience, then she was able to Break her life silence to me…. ―She said: When I was 11 years old I was sexually abused by one of our neighbor a 39 years old man , I was crying and the man told me I should never say this to any one for the rest of my life , if not he will stop my life and since then I have never say this to anyone either my family because I felt the threat still on me, even though I have never seen the man any more but I do feel his presence every time around me threatening me, since then I have been living with fear through entire of my life that why I have to leave Finland‖. That why women in the world need security, we deserve freedom, equality peace of mind so that we can develop our communities, woman who does not have her peace and freedom will not be able to contribute her full quota to national development: then The Women’s Conference that has been growing up in my mind, with vision on how to bring women‘s leaders together, women who have been giving their voices to fight against sexual violence and gender equality, women who devoted their lives to others, their voices empower many women around the world. We are expecting women all over world to come to contribute their skills, to expand into a global network and watch our community growing into the nation‘s premier forum for women, Like so many of you experiencing transition and reinvention in your own lives, it‘s time for us to start a whole new chapter. As we move forward, we will do so as wiser women because of the many lessons we women have learned. I know that l must continue to use my voice the way I believe it was meant to be used: to empower women. We need to make the world a more compassionate place, a place where people feel seen, valued and connected. Join Us Deborah Funmi Mupapa 46

The First Ever International Conference Host by Africa Woman in Finland Deborah Funmi Mupapa

The Women Conference is an impactful event that consists of social service workers, educational trainers, political leaders and other influential professionals, sharing and pooling information and knowledge.

T HE FOCUS WILL BE ON THE PRACTICAL AND SUSTAINABLE SOLUTION S TO THE

W OMEN ; S OCIAL , P OLITICAL AND E CONOMIC BASIS , NOT MERELY TRANSFORMATION OF

WITHIN A PERSONAL CO NTEXT AND DEALING WITH TRAUMATIC EVENTS THAT HAVE A SOCIAL OR POLITICAL BASIS N OT MERELY A PERSONAL CONTEXT . The objective of the Conference is Breaking The Silence, concentrating on the change and growth of every woman. To pass on information that allows women to integrate their experiences and knowledge, enabling them to have the hope, courage and tools needed to develop and move forward in a positive way. The goal of the conference is to educate and encourage the participants to apply new concepts and practical tips and solutions in their work with women, whatever their field may be.

2012 was mind blow across Finland Lindy Wafula

Project Africa-Kenya

Päivi Sinkkonen

Tampere City

Fawzia Koofi

National Assembly- Afghanistan

Simon Olise

Performer- Tampere

Victor Ibe

Performer- Tampere

Elisabeth Rehn

Minister of Finland

Eva Kagiri

eCAP East Africa/ Education Finder AB

Roseanna Avento

Human Security Grid

Peter Kuria

Shalin Finland

H.E.Ambassador Amobi

Nigerian Embassy, Sweden

Satu Hassi

Member of EU Parliament

Elisabeth Rehn

Minister of Finland

Pekka Haavisto

Member of Finnish Parliament

Astrid Thors

Women‘s Network, Finnish Parliament

Interview By Deborah Funmi Mupapa ... S. Shanie Salmon-Godfrey,

• Let‘s take a little trip down to the memory lane. When did you start your first business Journey, and What was it?

I Started my first business journey when I was 5 Years old. I picked pimento seeds, dry them and packed them for the farmers to sell. Throughout the years I clean houses, and do hair. At age 18 I started my official corporation, I started selling life Insurance.

•You

said you believe in building a foundation founded on the Gospel of Jesus Christ.Tell us more about that.

Everything that I do in my life whether it is business, school, job or business, I believe it should be scriptural. Not only seek god and invite him into everything I do but, the products and services that I offer cannot be conflicting to the word of God. How I treat an employee and a customer must match up with the word of God. For example, I had many opportunities to sell sex products, and model, as well as work at health care a facility that offers abortion. I choose to offer services and products that will not conflict with my relationship with God as well as where I work.

•

How you experienced difficulties in Life

Throughout my life I experience sexual abuse and neglect. I was raped by my family members, from age 5-15. I never had a relationship with my mother, and my father wasn‘t around. I didn‘t grow up with either one of them. That lead me to go through different levels of hurt and suffering, when they finally came into my life they put me through a new level of hurt and pain.

• You seem Busy. Why do you keep creating different business rather than just hold to one and how do you combine both the business line and the Ministry? I create many streams of income to generate income for my projects. My main business is a legacy that I am building for my children, and the others is to fund my NGO and my other projects. I don‘t like to ask people for money and that‘s something that I want to avoid. I launched many different types of business to keep me from never having to compromise for money. 48

Where my business and ministry combine are when I sponsor different projects from my business to my ministry. I keep them as 2 separate entity to keep the integrity of them both.

•

Which of the business were the most challenging and the most preferable?

My most challenging business is my consulting firm. I prefer that business over the rest because I love to teach, and I love to see people live their passion.

Y OU SAID YOU BELIEVE IN BUILDING A FOUNDATION FOUNDED ON THE G OSPEL OF J ESUS C HRIST . T ELL US MORE ABOUT TH AT AND WHAT ARE THE DIFFERENCES BTW SOMEO NE FOUNDED ON THE G OSPEL OF J ESUS C HRIST AND SOMEONE WI THOUT . •

I started different type of business ventures and relationships that wasn‘t founded on Jesus. Over the years I watched people hurt me to my core and every ministry, business partnership, and friendship always come to a holt.

E VERYTHING

THAT WAS B UILT DURING THATPERI ODCRUMBLE . W HEN BUILD MY BUSINESS AN D RELATIONSHIPS ON T HE WORD OF G OD , NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS IN THE MINISTRIES , FRIENDSHIPS , AND BUSINESS , WHEN I WALK AWAY EVE RYTHING I BUILD IS STILL STANDING . T HAT ’ S T HE DIFFERENCE BET WEEN BUILDING ON THE WORD AND NOT BUILD O N THE WORD . T HERE ARE THINGS THAT I WOULD OVER LOOK , AND THINK THAT BECAU SE I WASN ’ T DIRECTLY INVOLVE THAT I WASN ’ T APART OF IT , T HE TRUTH IS IF YOU KNOW SOMETHING IN YOUR COM PANY OR MINISTRY IS NOT RIGHT AND YOU DON ’ T DISCONNECT FROM TH AT THING YOU ARE APA RT OF IT .

•Tell

more how your business can be of opportunity for women in Africa

My business is to help businesses launch and grow in 90 days or less. I believe that everyone has a passion and every passion is a business. I know that my business is equipped to teach women in African how to launch and grow a successful business. To help them generate income that will change their life and rebuild their communities.

•What have been the biggest impediments you‘ve encountered in all your years of doing business? 49

There comes a time in every business when the devil will make you an offer. That contract that can change the entire course of your business. The problem with that is; it always comes with a price, ultimately you must choose one, it‘s either you or Jesus. Your will or his. I believe that I turned down a lot of offers because it comes with a compromise. I refuse to compromise, because of that I spend years working for things that can take months if I compromise, I spent sleepless nights working twice as hard because I refuse to compromise.

•

What is your advice to young entrepreneurial

Build it slow, build it right! Do not cut any corners because when you get to the top, the foundation will crumble if its not solid. Build a legacy, don‘t just build for the money.

•

What is your philosophy in business

Build with passion. Everything that you do, do it with passion. We invest in people not things.

What is your philosophy of life Everything is temporary except our actions. Makes decisions that will last an eternity, make decisions that keep you in the will of God, that‘s the only thing that matters

Women and Aging. Each day that dawns is a clear indication that we are decidedly getting older, which is a great thing. There are many changes that come about when one is aging either physically, mentally, biologically or socially. For instance, as people age, hearing high-pitched sounds becomes more difficult. This change is considered age-associated hearing loss (pres bycusis),

, a change in vision is often the first undeniable sign of aging with loss of near vision, need for brighter light and changes in color perception. As people age, taste buds on the tongue decrease in sensitivity thereby making it harder for them to detect the taste of different flavors, the ability to smell also diminishes. The skin tends to become thinner, less elastic, drier, and finely wrinkled. However, exposure to sunlight over the years greatly contributes to wrinkling and to making the skin rough and blotchy. People who have avoided exposure to sunlight often look much younger than their age. The fat layer under the skin thins. This layer acts as a cushion for the skin, helping to protect and support it. The fat layer also helps conserve body heat. When the layer thins, wrinkles are more likely to develop, and tolerance for cold decreases. The number of nerve endings in the skin decreases. As a result, people become less sensitive to pain, temperature, and pressure, and injuries may be more likely. The number of nerve cells in the brain typically decreases and some mental functionsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;such as vocabulary, short-term memory, the ability to learn new material, and the ability to recall wordsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;may be subtly reduced after age 70. Another change is that the heart and blood vessels become stiffer. The heart fills with blood more slowly. The stiffer arteries are less able to expand when more blood is pumped through them. Thus, blood pressure tends to increase. These are some of the changes which occur generally. 51

Well, many women are girdled by much anxiety when it comes to aging. One of the things many women fear about ageing is that they will lose attractiveness, Women are always, unfortunately, more concerned about whether they appear old, the wrinkles, saggy breasts, grey hair, dry skin, weight gain and a permanent post-baby belly. Each change wrought by time and gravity renders most women a bit more invisible in a culture that prizes dewy youth. And it frightens many women to the extent of using anti-ageing cosmetics and seeking plastic surgery. Another point is Social isolation, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;s no denying that loneliness can be an issue for older members of society. As friends pass away and family comes around less, many in their later years find themselves increasingly isolated. Cancer can be another fear of ageing among women particularly breast cancer. Another common fear associated with ageing is Dementia and Cognitive problems there are many factors involved with the onset of dementia, including genetics, diet, activity level, and general health and many fear they will experience dementia and mental cognition difficulties.

Ageing

is inevitable, but women still stand a chance to age gracefully and break the fears and insecurities that come with ageing. Women can ensure they age gracefully by first; Embracing change, Life is change. Resisting it wastes precious time and energy. Living for it can generate adventures you never thought possible. Second; do something you enjoy every day. When you immerse yourself in things you enjoy, you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;t wait to do them again. And then you do them over, and over, and the enjoyment continues. Thirdly, Work at friendships. Friendships are fuel, providing energy, love and nurturing your emotions. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;re never too old for new friendships. The fourth point is to eat healthy food, drink adequate water and exercise your body. Another point is to take control of how you react to things. Little things can really bring you down if you let them. Also, another way of ageing gracefully is to pray daily, each day that the Lord for the things you are grateful for, it's a nice way to commence the day.

Women and Depression. Depression is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. It is a persistent problem, not a passing one, lasting on average 6 to 8 months. Some of Signs and symptoms of depression include, reduced interest or pleasure in activities previously enjoyed, loss of sexual desire, unintentional weight loss (without dieting) or low appetite, insomnia (difficulty sleeping) or hypersomnia (excessive sleeping), fatigue or loss of energy, impaired ability to think, concentrate, or make decisions, recurrent thoughts of death or suicide, or attempt at suicide. It is a fact that depression seems to be common among women than men, it is twice likely to affect women than men and tends to have different contributing causes in women than it does in men. Contributing factors include reproductive hormones, a differing female response to stress, and social pressures that are unique to a womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;s life experiences. As women, we have many life roles. Mother, wife, employee, friend, healer, caregiver, and the list goes on. The complexity of all of these roles can cause ups and downs throughout life. Some of these mood changes may be due to life events (e.g., getting into an argument with a friend) or may be due to hormones (e.g., pregnancy, menstrual cycle)

Reasons, why women are depressed may include, Family history; Women with a family history of depression may be more at risk. But depression can also happen in women who donâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;t have a family history of depression. Stress is another reason, Serious and stressful life events, or the combination of several stressful events, such as trauma, loss of a loved one, a bad relationship, work responsibilities, caring for children and ageing parents, abuse, and poverty may trigger depression in some people. Psychological explanations, Women are more ruminative than men, that is, they tend to think about things moreâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;which, though a very good thing, may also predispose them to develop depression. In contrast, men are more likely to react to difficult times with stoicism, anger, or substance misuse. Women are generally more invested in relationships than men. Relationship problems are likely to affect them more, and so they are more likely to develop depression. Another reason why depression is common among women is biological explanations; Compared to men, women are much more subjected to fluctuating hormone levels. This is especially the case around the time of childbirth and at the menopause, both of which are associated with an increased risk of developing depression. 53

Despite this depression is a treatable mental illness. If you are a woman and suffering from depression, it is best to seek treatment right away to improve your quality of life. The most common treatment options for women suffering from depression include medications and therapy. Diagnosis of depression starts with a consultation with a doctor or mental health specialist. It is important to seek the help of a health professional to rule out different causes of depression, ensure an accurate differential diagnosis, and secure safe and effective treatment, there may be a physical examination to check for physical causes and coexisting conditions. Questions will also be asked - 'taking a history' - to establish the symptoms, their time course, and so on. One can also manage depression by seeking support, ranging from discussing practical solutions and contributing stresses, to educating family members. Surrounding yourself with healthy, positive people is especially important for coping with symptoms of depression. If your friends, family members, or even coworkers are causing you stress or making your depressive symptoms worse, consider spending less time with these people or remove them from your life entirely. Family and social support is crucial to being able to cope and manage depression.

Losing Weight The ultimate journey of losing weight can be tough, very tough sometimes. With the internet buzzing with a plethora of workout diets and routines that all promise to take us to the promised land. Shedding weight has become some kind of money minting program where companies are looking forward to selling their slimming pills. With this overabundance of weight loss products and pills, an unhealthy lifestyle is imminent. The process of losing weight should be free from pills, stimulants, injections and anything that tends to harm oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;s lifestyle. The wholesome process of losing weight should not only be 100% focused on shedding off some weight but also a 100% healthy. Losing weight sometimes should be primarily a case of concern only if your health is at risk, sometimes you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;t have to lose as much weight as you think to improve your health. It is also of great importance to identify the strategies that work for us when the need to drop some few pounds arises. Applying the right way from the start helps you in not only attaining that desired body weight but doing it comfortably. Below are some 54

natural expert tips which will help you figure out a smooth way through which you can lose the excess bulge naturally.

Getting started Knowing how to lose weight the right way is always of great importance. Contrary to the belief that losing weight is all about cutting on calories, weight loss should be a blend of calorie burning and muscle building exercises. It is worth noting that calories should be reduced rather than cut completely when it comes to working out it is advisable to do the workout you love. Finding something you enjoy always serves as an important component of any fitness routine, however, it is advisable to try different workouts before engaging in one that pleases you the most. If you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;t fancy running you can opt for a Zumba class. Also, remember that something is better than nothing if some sort of work out isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;t your favourite you can always try doing it and may be on the way you may find that it works for you.

Losing Weight

Sleep habits and stress levels can be your undoing Adding that weight is not only food related if you are focused and eating perfectly some lifestyle factors may be working against you. Sleep and stress are some of the factors that when not considered can affect your weight loss journey. Therefore it is important to create a new sleep routine and stick to it, also shun any form of stress which can be a distracting to this whole journey of losing weight. You can always try to look out for an activity to reduce stress levels.

Avoid the fad of natural weight loss pills

In the modern day, it is close to impossible to escape the sweet adverts of natural weight loss supplements that frequent our T.Vs and social media. Some may work yes, but it is always advisable to consult your physician before stuffing your system with some unconfirmed weight loss pills. Also, some of these pills tend to come with strong side effects which only serve as a barrier towards your weight loss goal.

itamins are vital

Incorporating your everyday diet with vitamins brings about a load of

body benefits including some increased muscle tone, more energy and also it helps a lot in weight loss. Vitamin D, vitamin B12 and calcium are very important for instance vitamin B12 helps in maintaining red blood cells while also assisting in the production of neurotransmitters. You can get valuable vitamin B12 from fortified cereals, seafood and even meat. Incorporating vitamin D and calcium is essential in the journey towards attaining that body weight, both of them are crucial in building and preserving bones. They are also essential for some good muscle health. You will get vitamin D from taking some salmon or tuna. You can get your daily dosage of calcium from dairy products or some leafy green vegetables. Incorporate the right natural herbs in your weight loss routine Though weight loss supplements are out, you can consider using some natural herbs for your weight loss. They are some herbs that have potentially significant health benefits these include black pepper, cinnamon, ginger, turmeric and also cumin. The cayenne pepper, however, has been found to be the most effective when it comes to weight loss properties. For instance, just half a teaspoon increases metabolism and can burn an extra 10 calories when added to a meal. Try spicing your life with the cayenne pepper which will aid this whole process of losing weight. 56

WEIGHT LOSS

HEN IT COMES TO THE BEST WAYS TO LOSE WEIGHT NATURALLY DIFFERENT DIETS WORK FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE . H OWEVER , THERE ARE THOSE FOODS THAT WHEN USED TENDS TO AID THIS WE IGHT LOSS ROUTINE . V EGETABLES - EATING VEGETABLES IS ALWAYS GOOD FOR YOU , THEREFORE AIM TO UP YOUR VEGETABLE INTAK E TO ONE POUND PER DAY . T HIS NOT ONLY AIDS IN WEIGHT LOSS BUT ALSO AIDS IN KEE PING CANCER , HEART DISEASES AND THE EFFECTS OF AGEING AWAY . If comfortable you can always try intermittent fasting (IF) which is a concept whereby you can stave off food for close to 6 hours. Doing this tends to offer almost the same benefits of a low-calorie diet for instance lower incidence of cardiovascular diseases. However, don‘t attempt to make changes that you know won‘t match your lifestyle and preferences. Finally, in this whole journey, it is always important to reward yourself, try celebrating those small goals with some good rewards. These rewards sometimes tend to be the fuel which pushes you forward and thus rejuvenating your motivation. ‗Losing weight does take effort, but it doesn‘t have to feel like some sort of punishment.‘

I don't look like what I've been through ."

Wanda McKinley Founder/ CEO Wanda McKinley has been a part of the Dallas communit y for over 30 years. Her family relocated here from California when her father retired from the Navy. She has been educating families for 22 years in the Insurance and Healthcare Industry, believing that knowledge is power. Mrs. McKinley has worked in Long Term Care Industry for 18 out of the 22 years taking care of the elder population and educating them on the correct way to spend retirement funds as a licensed financial adviser. November 2013 God showed Mrs. McKinley her purpose in life.

Being a survivor of domestic violence, God told her that she must be transparent to men, women and children by sharing her story so that they may find comfort through her. 58

Wanda was a victim of abuse for 24 consecutive years. Her biological father molested her from the age of seven and eventually it escalated to sexually penetration at the age of thirteen after her stepfather raped her taking her virginity and the rape continued to the age of eighteen by both men. Mrs. McKinley met her ex-husband at nineteen and married at the age of twenty-four. She suffered physical, mental, verbal, sexual and financial abuse for eleven years. Through the grace of God she survived. Her calling and passion is to help others. We are Survivors was formed as a 501ÂŠ3 nonprofit organization for abused men, women and children. Their mission is to provide a stable environment for abused and battered individuals by providing temporary shelter, counseling, and employment training. They want to help them transition from abusive situations to being selfsufficient people in society.

Understanding the pain on a personal level will help her relate to the men, women and children God sends to her, but she will also be able to provide professional counseling. Mrs. McKinley is a bestselling co-author, a recipient of an International Humanitarian Award, a strong Domestic and International speaker who has also appeared on television. Believing in God and hearing him has carried her thus far. She is a child of God and has embraced what he has for her. May God be given all the glory as she continues on her journey.

hy did I put all my money into this PROJECT? Is this going to work JESUS? God, do you hear me AS I AM PRAYING EVERY DAY? Where are the people? I‘m so scared. How will I pay these people? Why did I do this? I

can‘t pay my rent; they are going to repos sess my all what we have

As far as I can reme mber is 2008 … . All these questi ons were crowd ing my mind and I just Finnis h my busin ess school in Finland ,I has little baby…leaving her with her sister of my friends, it was hell and I don‘t want to see social office ..they always think, coming to their office as a foreigner then , you are just a beggar or else name they could call…I had something in my mind that keep telling me just go and go…I was table to finish my business school but No money to start up but I want to start with anything…..

I have a very Big dream that is bigger than me I know, many people wonder

how on earth could I reach there or What and What but Determination.

I had written many projects that God placed in my mind which I wanted the world to see it. I was very sure that is going to work that I put my own money into the foundation, I collected loan to start my business but I end up using it to start what I love to do . By believing everything will work fine for me, with Isaac by my side.. I did all I could to make my inlaw happy but all was negative. They all wondering why Isaac will give all to me to move, ignoring that all belongs to us as one. I thought I have met new family that will replaced my emptiness but I felt the whole is on me.

Looking back on it now I can laugh, but back then it wasn‘t so funny at all . What I quickly realized is that prayer alone will not always get the results you want. As much work as I did every day, till now, I have to depart from many and face my projects, because more work was needed to go along with my faith, my believing. I need to put my Faith in action.

I was devastated. I thought my dreams were dead. Based off this one thing I thought my life was over. I was blackmailed..Friends and families betrayed me and I thought I have failed my life journey. Based on this one failure of allowing people to close tome and open the door for anyone without knowing whom they really are …I fail in my plan of work but what I thought was a failure but it clearly wasn‘t),

I thought that the rest of my life would be ruined. Needless to say, looking back on it, it was all a part of God‘s plan and amazing design for my life. And God has a plan for all of our lives. His God and He knew all things.

Today I celebrate D&Ksuomi 10th anniversary. It‘s been an amazing journey, even though I have not reached my goal yet but I am on the way You all cannot believe what I have endured to the time in my life , yes what I‘ve endured to be here, but until then I would like to share a little inspiration with you. So many times we think that because one thing didn‘t go as we all planned we should give up on our plans. So many people leave their dreams dying on the floor, gasping for air because it didn‘t work out the first time. It may be marriage, business, children, faith, whatever your dream is, you can't give up because it didn‘t go as you planned. If I had walked away because it didn‘t work you wouldn‘t be reading this or when all the news papers from m Finland came out with false news, No one will see on the humanitarian field or hear about D&Ksuomi, I had to keep moving and never stop.Yes, there were setbacks. Yes, it was difficult, but I got to see my dreams come to pass because I never stopped moving forward, I never stopped praying and most of all I never stopped believing. DON‘T STOP 61

BELIEVING!!!! PLEASE DON‘T STOP BELIEVING!!! Say this to yourself out loud right now: ―DON‘T STOP BELIEVING‖, and repeat it to yourself whenever you doubt that you can make it.

What you must understand is that everything, all of it, the good the bad and the ugly, it all works together for your good. If you love the Lord you are called according to His purpose. What‘s His purpose for you? If you‘re not sure, seek it and all your dreams will come true.

To all my dreamers, to all the people who have invested in themselves, to all the people who have the same questions that I did, hear me when I say this: YOU CAN DO IT!!

Please get The Tears behind my Smile to read more about my Joinery. The Power in Becoming the Change in English and French are all available on my website www.deborahfunmimupapa.com Support D&Ksuomi Foundation by be a member Voluntary is needed across the world where ever you are we need you. www.dksuomi.com www.dksuomimagazine.com Deborah Funmi Ministry D&Ksuomi TV

D&Ksuomi Magazine

Articles inside

I am not a shame as a woman