Family Matters March-May 2014

FamilyMatters THE MAGAZINE FOR THE FILIPINO FAMILY

Volume 1 • Number 2 March-May 2014

Rissa Trillo:

A model

mom

ULTIMATE TOP-TO-TOE GROOMING GUIDE

Fireproof Fireproof your your condo condo home home

Happy Mother’s Day! 12 Ways To Show Mom Your Love— All Year Round!

Family Matters means business “Our business is the

salvation

of souls.” – St. John Bosco

Family Matters Magazine means business but not as the world understands the word but as our Mother, the Church, deals with it—as a means to establish God’s Kingdom here on earth.

Family Matters Magazine is a ministry—a family ministry. Its publication is meant to serve the family, the basic unit of the Church, whose members truly care for the holistic welfare of their families.

With the institution of family under attack by relativism, secularism, materialism, consumerism, etc., Family Matters Magazine tries to counter-attack these forces with compelling content that respect and promote the family not only as a human institution but as a sacred institution with divine origin.

How to get a copy of Family Matters Magazine

The publication of Family Matters Magazine is never meant to be a profit-earning endeavor. But all worthy and noble endeavors have a price. For only P120 per issue, families can already welcome into their home this magazine—the perfect companion, teacher, and guide for building warm, caring, and God-centered relationships. (See below for more details on how to obtain your copy.)

This magazine is also designed to be a Supplemental Reading Material for Christian Living Education or Values Education in both Grade School and High School Levels; and in Theology Courses in the College Level. If every student brings home this magazine, then more and more families will benefit from its rich content.

For more details: Please call (02) 8928174 and ask for Fr. Drans.

E-mail us at familymatters14344@gmail.com.

Visit us: Salesians of Don Bosco Social Communications Office 3/F Provincial House Office, A. Arnaiz cor. C. Roces Ave., Makati City

We will be happy to meet the Heads of the Pastoral Affairs Office or of the Values Education Department of every school that is interested to know more about this family magazine.

Individual/Family Subscribers: (+ Postal Fee of P50) One-Year Subscription (4 Issues) – P480 Two-Year Subscription (8 Issues) – P920 Three-Year Subscription (12 Issues) – P1,300 Email us your FULL NAME, POSTAL ADDRESS & PHONE NUMBER(S) For Bank Payments: Pay to Don Bosco Press, Inc., Metrobank Current Account No. 018-3-0185224-8 Or you may personally transact with us at our office any day from Monday to Friday, 8 a.m.-4 p.m.

The Salesians of Don Bosco, through their Social Communications Office, invite you to be partners in building the basic unit of the Church—the family. With your support, we hope to make Family Matters Magazine an instrument that will inspire and guide Filipino families to establish a loving home where the presence of God reigns.

Available at: • St. John Bosco Parish Store, A. Arnaiz Ave., Makati City • St. John Bosco Parish Store, Sta. Rosa, Laguna • National Shrine of Mary Help of Christians Store, Better Living Subdivision, Parañaque City • Merriam Webster Bookstore, A. Arnaiz cor. C. Roces Ave., Makati City • Word & Life Center, A. Arnaiz Ave., Makati City

FamilyMatters Volume 1 • Number 2 March-May 2014

36

2 Homework

Mother Means …

4 Family Note Thanks, Mom

5 Letters 6 Framing

Revive Outdated Summer Traditions

8 Balancing

Hurray for Working Moms!

10 Parenting

Blessed Are the Children

13 Protecting

Here Comes the Sun!

16 Improving Little Bossings

19 Behaving

13

Rules of Dating

22 Celebrating

Youth Talk

• A Clean Sweep, 26 • Julie Anne’s Uncommon Journey, 28 • The Waiting Game, 30 • Helping Save Lives, 32

Rissa Trillo: A Model Mom

34 Faith and Reason Taming the Bully

36 Trending Pinterest 101

39 Preventing

Fireproof Your High-Rise Home

42 Valuing Let Us Pray

45 Eating

10

Picnic Perfect!

48 Honoring

12 simple ways to say I love you, Mama!

20

HOMEWORK

Mother means … all things good and right in the world.

By Fr. BerNarD P. NolaSco, SDB PhoToS By rayMoND S. MaMarIl

By Fr. Bernard P. Nolasco, SDB

2 FamilyMatters

March-May 2014

There is what we call ‘a mother’s instinct’ that connotes an innate tendency of a mother to know the needs of her child even without her child saying anything. It may be attributed to the fact that human beings establish their connectedness to their mothers right from the moment of conception up to the moment of birth. These nine intimate months of maternal bonding somehow explain the extraordinary closeness that exists between the mother and her child.

If your mother is still alive, seize every opportunity to let her feel how grateful and honored you are to have her for a mother.

IllUSTraTIoN By rIcUS aFaBle

Mother is always associated with something positive.

A Mother’s touch means gentleness.

A Mother’s embrace means unconditional love.

A Mother’s look means assurance.

A Mother’s smile means affirmation.

A Mother’s lap means a gentle pillow.

A Mother’s presence means security.

And Motherly means caring.

The list can go on and on.

almost all professional psychological interventions trace their study of the cases they are handling from these nine intimate months in the mother’s womb.

Psychologists claim that while even in the womb, we already feel whether we are accepted or rejected as children. It is for this reason that motherhood begins right from the moment of conception.

Filipino culture gives much worth and importance to the role of the mother.

She occupies a special place in the heart of almost all Filipinos. Whenever I give retreats and recollections to young people and ask them to write down in order the five most important persons in their lives, with rank one as the most important, close to 100% of the participants will write ‘mother’ as the first on their list.

I am not surprised. I actually expect this. What I am always interested to know are the reasons of those who did not list their mother as number one. I listen to them with a very heavy heart inasmuch as I realize that both mother and child are victims of their respective circumstances that are beyond their control. But under normal situations, the mother rises as the epitome of love and care.

Even in the womb, we can already feel whether we are accepted or rejected as children. It is for this reason that motherhood begins right from the moment of conception. on a personal note, I want to give a special tribute to my mom, whom I cherish and admire to high heavens for being the best mom in my life and my siblings’ lives. She gave up a promising career once she became pregnant with her first baby. She dedicated her life to the family as a housewife and as a hands-on mother to us her six children. She became my dad’s source of strength and hope when he became blind. She became the unifying force when our family was in crisis over my dad’s predicament. She kept our faith in the Lord strong and firm as she taught us to hope in God who cares.

Now, at 84, old and physically weak, she remains our inspiration, especially in the way she faces her present condition with great optimism. lying sick on her bed, she would even ask questions like: ‘Kumain ka na ba?’ or

‘Ang daddy n’yo, anong inalmusal?’

I believe that each of us has a special tribute to give to our respective mothers. over and above their personal weaknesses and limitations stands their natural gift of motherhood which they have tried their very best to live. If you are reading this article and your mother is still alive, seize every opportunity to let her feel how grateful and honored you are to have her for a mother. If she is already gone, offer daily prayers for the repose of her soul.

Share with your friends your memorable stories with her with much pride and gratitude in your heart. and to all mothers who read this article, I wish that your spirit remains strong in living joyfully the gift of motherhood amidst all the challenges that go with it. May our Blessed Mother Mary inspire you to hold on to God, especially when difficulties come. remain in his love. * MARCH-MAY 2014 FamilyMatters

3

faMilY nOtE

FamilyMatters bookmark cut out and paste on a cardboard, punch a hole, and put a ribbon through.

I know several moms who’d probably be strong contenders for the “Mother of the year” award. one of them resigned from work several years ago to devote her life to her five children. She brings them to school, goes back home to cook their lunch, and returns to give them their hot meals. and while waiting for classes to end, she wipes their sweat or hands them water during practice. This has been her routine as her children move from preschool to grade school to high school. another mother I am acquainted with resides in laguna and, once a week, she comes to Manila to visit her two children living in an apartment building close to the elder son’s place of work and the younger boy’s school. During her stay she cleans their unit, washes the laundry, cooks for them, and does their grocery, among others. She does these to ensure they eat well, live in clean surroundings, and are as comfortable in their apartment as they are in their parents’ home. as for working moms, they are often wracked with guilt for not always being there for their child all the time. But they are actually no less caring or dedicated than their nonworking counterparts. On the contrary, many have sacrificed and endured much to feed and educate their kids, especially those whose husband has abdicated his role as family breadwinner.

Truly, mothers are awesome beings whose commitment and sacrifices are beyond measure or compare. The question “What will a mother do for her child?” captures less the essence of motherhood as much as this does: “What will a mother not do for her child?”

This May, when the world celebrates Mother’s Day, we hope you, our young readers, take the time to mull about how blessed you are, and come up with ways to show Mommy she is cherished and adored. and try to do these not just on May 11 but as often as you can— all year long! remember: It takes so little to make your Mom happy. If you’re short on ideas, turn to page 48 for simple ways to demonstrate your appreciation. Better yet, if you have suggestions or traditions of your own, do share them with everyone. Send us your thoughts with the subject heading “our Mother’s Day Tradition” at familymatters14344@gmail.com.. happy Mother’s Day!

romelda c. ascutia, editor e-mail: rascutia1000@gmail.com

- Michael Jordan

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March-May 2014

Photo by Jun Pinzon

Share your family’s summer escapade!

What did you do this school break? Send photos of your family’s bonding moments with a brief description to familymatters14344@ gmail.com, with the subject heading “Family Summer lovin’.” We’ll feature them in the next issue of Family Matters.

My mother is my root, my foundation.

She planted the seed that I base my life on, and that is the belief that the ability to achieve starts in your mind.

letters

FamilyMatters Volume 1 • Number 2 MARCH-MAY 2014 PUBLISHER Fr. Bernard P. Nolasco, SDB EDITOR Romelda C. Ascutia ART DIRECTOR Aurie Ann Alcantara COLUMNISTS Atty. Tito R. Bundang CONTRIBUTORS Aileen Carreon Excel V. Dyquiangco Erlinda Esguerra Cecille Esperanza Annabellie Gruenberg Ruth Manimtim-Floresca Ime Morales Maridol Rañoa-Bismark Stephanie Mayo Ross Valentin, M.D. PHOTOGRAPHER Raymond S. Mamaril PRODUCTION MANAGER Early Macabales CIRCULATION Jaymie Ibana HAIR & MAKEUP ARTIST Ranilo “Paula” D. Gabor LEGAL COUNSEL Sapalo Velez Bundang & Bulilan Law Offices PRINTER Don Bosco Press, Inc. is a quarterly magazine published by Don Bosco Press, Inc. Antonio Arnaiz corner Chino Roces Avenues P.O. Box 1601 MCPO, 1223 Makati City Philippines All rights reserved © 2014 by DON BOSCO PRESS, INC. No part of this magazine may be reproduced without permission from the publisher.

Telefax: 892-8174 Tell us what you think! Your news and views are welcome. E-mail us at familymatters14344@gmail.com. All submissions become the property of FamilyMatters and will not be returned.

Letters may be edited, and full names will be published unless otherwise specified by the sender.

Respect cuts both ways I agree with the perspective taken by the writer Erlinda Esguerra in “The Real Meaning of Respect” in the December 2013-February 2014 issue, especially the part where she says, “Key to teaching respect is to treat children like adults who have their own opinions and feelings.”

We usually teach the young to honor their elders, in the process forgetting that kids, in turn, have emotions, thoughts, and rights that we adults have to respect. Indeed, “respect is a two-way street,” and if we don’t inculcate in our children the value of respecting themselves as much as they respect others, we may be doing them a disservice in the long run. We may be unconsciously teaching them that it is perfectly all right to accept abuse, to not speak up, and to never question what older people say or do, no matter how strongly a child may feel about something.

In short, we may be bringing up kids who will have low self-esteem and who will believe in total self-sacrifice—an unhealthy, self-defeating attitude no parent would wish on her child.

Ma. Celine Uy

I love your DecemberFebruary issue! It’s a refreshing change to read celebrity profiles that don’t highlight showbiz scandals, but instead focus on the good side and deeds of young stars. More power to Family Matters!

Mary Divine Soledad

A collector’s issue

I’m glad I got my hands on the very first issue of Family Matters [December 2013-February 2014]. It’s a collector’s issue that I plan to keep for posterity. I browsed through it and found that the featured articles truly do justice to the title, underscoring family values formation and providing both practical and spiritual solutions to present-day parenting challenges. I particularly enjoyed “Home Economics,” which talked of the various ways to improve a family’s spending and saving habits in the new year. It was a surprise to me that at the end of the day, the family budget should be perfectly balanced at zero—that is, neither negative nor positive—because it meant that every peso was spent wisely.This showed me that I still have much to learn about budgeting, saving, and investing, and becoming more adept at all three will be one of my major goals for the year.Thank you for this big eye-opener!

Juliana B. Dela Merced

No more fashion missteps

I have four children, two of whom are already in their teens. Over the past two issues [September-November 2013, December 2013-February 2014], you published articles on how adolescent boys and girls should dress for formal and informal occasions.They gave such immensely useful tips that I told my children these are mustreads and must-dos! I hope you print more feature stories on fashion and styling, hygiene, and grooming for girls and boys going through adolescence. It would be nice to have a family publication that parents like me can quote from when I discuss (or debate!) with my children why I want them to do something because it’s proper, healthy, and age-appropriate.

Ann Corrales (Good news, Ann! This issue carries a comprehensive head-to-toe guide to good hygiene and proper grooming for teens and tweens. Check out “Clean Sweep” on page 26.—eds) MARCH-MAY 2014 FamilyMatters

5

fRaMing

Revive outdated

summer traditions Here are 3 old-fashioned family adventures that are sure to wean the Gen Tech from their unhealthy e-gaming obsession.

By Fr. BerNarD P. NolaSco, SDB A lot of families draw up a summer action plan designed to help create greater interaction among their members.

If your family is still thinking about how to spend these summer months as memorably and meaningfully as can be, my three suggestions below may help.

Create traditional family photo albums In this digital age, printing out pictures is considered passé. But printed photo albums remain very practical and come in handy during family gatherings. Together as a family, select the best pictures from your digital files and group them according to occasion. You may feel the bite of the printing cost, especially if it has been years since you had pictures printed. But believe me, family photo albums are worth the investment. If necessary, each member can pitch in to cover printing and album costs.

Conduct a family spring cleaning although we do not have springtime in our country, we nevertheless use this term to mean doing a “general cleaning” of one’s place. If you have house help, let them take a rest day, and do this activity as a family, especially if your children are already in their teens. The aim of this spring cleaning is to free up your cabinets, cupboards, and closets of things you no longer need. once you have gathered these disposables, your family may either organize a garage sale to earn a bit off them or donate them to charitable institutions.

Go on a Family Marian Pilgrimage This Family Marian Pilgrimage is similar to the Bisita Iglesia done by many families during holy Thursday of the holy Week. But this time, the family must plan to visit at least five churches dedicated to the Blessed Mother. May is the best month to do this pilgrimage.

Planning is crucial. The family may want to go to the Sacrament of confession in one church, pray the family rosary in another, then attend holy Mass in yet a different church. Do not forget to take family pictures in front of all the Marian churches you visit.

As you try to decide which among my suggestions to do first, I wish you all a very happy and fruitful summer break!!!

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March-May 2014

MARCH-MAY 2014 FamilyMatters

7

BalanCing

HURRAY foR woRKing MOMS! There’s no need to feel you’re less of a mother because you have to be at work. Hear how other professional women successfully handle the work-home tug-of-war.

By IMe MoraleS PhoToS By rayMoND MaMarIl

J MAY 11 IS MOTHER’S DAY! March-May2014 2014 FamilyMatters March-May 8 FamilyMatters

enny works in an advertising agency where coming in late and working through the night is common practice. She, however, observes regular working hours—coming in at 9 a.m. and leaving at exactly 6 p.m. Going home early is almost a mortal sin in her office, judging from the dagger looks of her coworkers. Jenny only turns a blind eye to the disapproving glances. after all, a baby boy is waiting eagerly for her at home.

Juggling career and motherhood is probably one of the most demanding challenges on the planet. yet working moms are largely misunderstood and judged harshly. Because they tend to leave work early and have more absences, career mothers are often seen as less inefficient than if they didn’t have a family to raise.

as parents, on the other hand, they are regarded as less effective because they generally spend less time with their children than full-time mothers do.

But career moms themselves believe they are as good as the best worker out there. They insist that they are not just an asset to the workplace, but that the discipline imposed by parenting can even add to their growth as a professional.

Knowing your priorities Nikki Samson Diyco, mother to two young boys and a full-time employee at an advertising agency, doesn’t believe that motherhood affects one’s ability as a worker. “yes, your priorities will be different, but the kind of worker you are stems more from who you are as a person.”

For Nikki, what’s important is how a person tackles her priorities. “For example, a working mom will work hard to finish everything by the time she needs to clock out at 6 p.m.” on the other hand, she says, a single person’s mindset might be less constrained by time and family, and he or she would likely hesitate less about filing for overtime to finish the task at hand, “thereby causing the company more.” angelica carballo-Pago, a mother of three—a preschooler, a toddler, and an infant—and a full-time media and communications officer at Ban Toxics, an environmental group, agrees. “except for a few lapses, I am able to work effectively despite being a mother of three.”

She adds, “It’s just a matter of priorities, time management, and one’s ability and discipline to multitask. I think I am able to do what is required at work, without sacrificing my kids’ well-being.”

Improved all-around skills Virgie cambare-Pascual, a human resources practitioner, Psychology student, and self-described “happy working mother,” says that while working mamas can’t render overtime often, it does not automatically mean that they are ineffective or unreliable.

“Oftentimes, I find that working moms are more focused, inspired, and grounded, and can handle interpersonal conflicts with less drama,” she says. “The training

that they have in raising kids also makes them more effective as supervisors and managers. They can also cut through red tape and useless roundabout processes to get their jobs done because they need to finish early.”

She believes that an effective mother is an effective worker. This is because “the same attitude, behavior, and strategies are being applied to get the job done,” Virgie explains.

But she acknowledges that there are also inefficient working moms—though not because they are mothers, but because they are inefficient and ineffective workers in the first place.

Nikki, for one, admits to having feelings of guilt and inadequacy at times, and wishes she is more patient with her children and a better model to them. “as a mom, you experience guilt a lot because, at your core, you always want to strive to be a better mother,” she explains.

But she looks at this in a positive way. For her, playing this dual role is what drives mothers to become better versions of themselves. “As you fulfill your task of raising your children right, you find yourself becoming a worthier parent and a better person all around.” *

“I make sure that the time I spend with them matters, that I am totally focused on them.”

“The bottom line: inefficiency and ineffectiveness at work cannot be solely attributed to one’s being a working mom or not,” Virgie says.

Maximizing family time “The reality is that not all of us can take care of our children ’round the clock,” Nikki says. She is happy that although her children spend more time with their dedicated yayas than with her, they have never preferred their yaya’s company to hers, a fear and sometimes a reality for many working moms. “I make sure that the time I spend with them matters, that I am totally focused on them,” Nikki says.

It helps if your husband supports your decision to work full time, angelica adds.

“Share responsibilities with him at home and spend quality time with your kids— make the most of your time with them!”

Striving to be better But lest anyone should think that working mothers have got everything worked out, the reality is, just like workers who still don’t have their own families, mothers are also on the road to self-discovery.

MARCH-MAY 2014 FamilyMatters

9

PaREnting

Modern society tends to regard kids as a burdensome inconvenience.

Here’s why we shouldn’t allow them to become an ‘endangered species.’

By erlINDa eSGUerra PhoToS By rayMoND S. MaMarIl

Blessed are the children 10 FamilyMatters

March-May 2014

O

ne of the most controversial and polarizing topics of the 21st century is the issue of how many children should be allowed to come into this world and populate a family or a nation. on one extreme, we have countries that wield an iron hand in controlling population growth, passing laws that make it a crime for a couple to have more than one or two children. on the other end, other countries keep a hands-off policy and allow families to decide for themselves what they want.

We’re living in a time when families are getting smaller and smaller.

Nowadays, people tend to look at big families as rare museum pieces that are better suited for the old days, and think that “probably these parents have a masochistic streak in them.”

Many couples are opting for only one or two children, probably out of economic reasons. If you have more than five and are rich, you might be labelled a religious fanatic. If you have more than five and are poor, people may judge you as “uninformed.”

Let’s find out more about this silent, shadowy figure that’s causing all this controversy even before being born— the child.

There are many conflicting voices about this issue that tend to cloud the way we think about children—who they are and what role they play in the family and in the world. are they really needed, or are they nothing more than excess baggage? Do they really trigger the economic downfall of a country, or do they help boost its economy?

As Christians let’s first set aside what other people think or what scientific books or experts say. We need to go back to our roots, to the truth about children, and to what our God says about them. only in the word of God can we find the answer, for His word is a sure foundation, and will remain even after all nations and governments have come and gone, after all opinions and arguments have been said.

“Lo, children are a gift of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward.”

Psalm 127:3-5 says, “lo, children are a gift of the lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are children of one’s youth. how blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They shall not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gates.”

There’s a growing trend in modern society to view children as an inconvenience or a burden. God thinks differently. his word says children are a blessing, a gift from him. he says that if we are warriors, children are like the arrows in our quiver. how do our children bless us? Why are they like arrows in our hands?

MARCH-MAY 2014 FamilyMatters

11

PaREnting • Children teach us about love.

Someone once said that there are places in the heart you don’t even know exist until you love a child. ask any mother about her child and you’ll see how her eyes suddenly soften and her face becomes translucent as she talks about her baby. The mother and child bond is probably the strongest of all bonds on earth, with the parent always ready to forgive, always ready to believe in the good within her child. The bond remains even if the child turns out to be the biggest rebel in the world. It’s a blessing that in the family, we are able to experience this kind of love.

• Children make us more mature in every way. When we suddenly find ourselves responsible for the well-being of another human being, our character grows. The new dad who used to spend all his free time drinking with friends suddenly wants to spend it at home,

Someone once said that there are places in the heart you don’t even know exist until you love a child. making funny noises till he can make his baby laugh. a new mom is transformed from a shopaholic to a nurturer who wakes up in the middle of the night just to make sure her baby is all right. all energy and effort are redirected toward one goal—the good of the child. It is no longer about me or mine; it is now about the children.

• Children are our fruit—and our reward. It’s a mystery how a 15-pound bundle of cuteness can make you forget your worries and the rat race in the office just by flashing her toothless smile. children are a treasure, like a priceless trophy we do not deserve. yet God has entrusted them to us for a purpose.

We’re not there just to look at them, admire them, and enjoy them, but to discover that untapped gift God has placed in each of them. God wants to see that gift shine. It’s a huge blessing to be given this responsibility.

And finally, He says children are arrows in our hands. In olden times, arrows were one’s strength and protection. a man took care of his arrows, sharpened them so that when he pulled the bow, they would

hit their mark. a skilled archer was highly respected by his peers. his enemies would think twice before attacking him because they knew he had a shield of protection. a time comes in our lives when our children become our fortress.

They become our greatest allies.

Their achievements become our achievements, and we are respected as an acknowledgment of who we are to them. and when our strength fails us in our old age, they are there for us. When we are weak and under enemy attack, they fiercely protect us. “We shall not be ashamed when our enemies confront us in the gates.” your quiver may be full, or it may have only one or two arrows, or it may have none. Whichever way God chooses to bless us, let us trust in his plan for our lives. Whether we have a great big family or a small cozy one, we are blessed! he has never looked at children as a burden, and no child should ever be made to feel that way. In the Filipino culture, I honestly doubt that there are parents who think of their offspring as burdensome. even in the midst of economic hardships, we love our children. let us continue to celebrate and value each child the way he does. *

Nowadays, people tend to look at big families as rare museum pieces that are better suited for the old days.

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March-May 2014

PROtECting

heRe coMes the

sun!

Sure, gear up for a wild family summer adventure, but respect the power of the sun with these health tips on how to prevent serious heat-induced illnesses.

IllUSTraTIoN By rIcUS aFaBle

By roSS ValeNTIN, M.D.

C

hildren often look forward to summer because it means school break, outdoor festivals, and out-of-town trips to the beach. yes, summertime is a wonderful opportunity to get the kids out of their house-school routine to bond with and build a lifetime of memories with the family in beautiful, scenic places.

But if we’re not careful, being exposed to the scorching heat and the blistering rays of the sun can pose serious health risks to the whole family, especially the children. So before you head out on your great adventure, arm yourself with the know-how in preventing heat- and sun-related illnesses to make your vacation truly safe, pleasant, and hitch-free.

March-May 2014 FamilyMatters

13

PROtECting

here are some of the most common sun-related conditions you can encounter during the sunniest season of the year.

Heat illness heat illness results when the body can’t cope with prolonged exposure to sun or heat. When the body overheats, it initially develops a condition called heat tetany that if left untreated can progress to heat cramp, then heat exhaustion, and finally a severe condition called heat stroke.

Infants, young children, the elderly, and obese people are at higher risk of developing heat illness. early symptoms include thirst, profuse sweating, fatigue, and muscle cramps. later on, the patient may show more symptoms such as headache, dizziness and lightheadedness, weakness, nausea and vomiting, a cool and moist skin, and dark urine.

The good thing is that heat illnesses are easily preventable when precautions are followed.

Heat tetany, the initial stage of heat illness, develops after short periods of stress under intense heat. Patients exhibit muscle spasms, tingling or numbness, rapid or deep breathing, and respiratory problems. The condition usually resolves with cooling, or progresses to heat cramp when unabated.

Heat cramp occurs when you exert yourself at high temperatures and is caused by loss of salt from heavy sweating. It is characterized by thirst, fatigue, excessive sweating, and cramps in the arms and legs. To treat heat cramp,

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March-May 2014

move your child to a cooler location, under a shade, or into an air-conditioned area, and give plenty of cool, nonalcoholic fluids with electrolytes, like sport drinks.

Heat exhaustion will make a child feel faint and sick, and he may show symptoms like very hot skin, dizziness or lightheadedness, headache, heavy sweating, nausea, cool and moist skin, muscle cramps, fatigue (extreme tiredness due to loss of body fluids and salts), rapid heartbeat, minimal urine, vomiting, and confusion. Symptoms of heat exhaustion can develop rapidly.

Treatment is similar to that with heat cramps: aim to lower the body temperature and increase heat dissipation. When promptly treated, children with heat exhaustion start to recover within half an hour with no longterm complications. When left untreated however, heat exhaustion can lead to heat stroke.

• Never leave children in a parked car or in a room alone. ensure the area is cool with adequate ventilation.

• Schedule children’s exercise or physical activities to cooler hours of the day, such as early morning or evening.

• Provide plenty of fluids when traveling or when going outdoors for a long time. Keeping your kids hydrated will help them maintain a normal body temperature.

• Dress in loose, lightweight, lightcolored clothing during summer.

Skin disorders Sun and heat exposure can lead to various skin-related disorders.

Prickly heat, also known as heat rash or miliaria, is a condition that is marked by small red raised spots (rash) accompanied by an itchy, stinging, or prickling sensation. heat rash usually develops in children who sweat more and whose sweat glands have become blocked.

Seek medical consult when the prickly heat rash does not subside after a few days, or when the rashes gets irritated and infected. of the heat illnesses, heat stroke is the most serious and can be fatal. Thus, it is considered a medical emergency that needs immediate treatment.

Heat stroke is defined as a body temperature greater than 40°c (104°F). It is caused by prolonged exposure to a hot environment and engaging in strenuous activity in hot weather.

Symptoms include a dry and hot red skin, high body temperature, weak and rapid pulse, rapid and shallow breathing, vertigo, thirst, irrational behavior, confusion, seizures, loss of consciousness, and muscle cramps.

If left untreated, victims can experience shock, brain damage, organ failure, and even death.

TO PREVENT HEAT STROKE: • Treat early signs and symptoms of heat illness.

IllUSTraTIoNS By rIcUS aFaBle

Babies and children can get prickly heat rash during hot weather because their sweat glands are not fully developed.

Prickly heat rash is usually found on the neck, armpits, upper chest, back, abdomen or groin, hands, feet, and areas covered by clothing. heat rash usually heals on its own. however, you can prevent it or ease its symptoms in your child. avoid exposure to excessive heat and humidity that can cause sweating, stay under a shade when outdoors, wear clothes made of natural fibers like cotton instead of heat-trapping synthetic fibers like polyester and nylon, give cool baths, use fans, or stay in an airconditioned room. calamine lotion can be used to calm itchy, irritated skin; use topical steroids only in serious cases. In addition, eschew oil-based skin products, as they can block the sweat glands.

Seek medical consult when the prickly heat rash does not subside after a few days, or when the rashes get irritated and infected.

Sunburn occurs when the skin is exposed to the ultraviolet (UV) light of the sun and other light sources beyond the skin’s ability to protect itself from its effects. Infants and children are especially sensitive to the burning effects of the sun, and parents must give extra care to them.

UVa and UVB are the two types of ultraviolet rays that cause sunburn. how severe the sunburn is varies depending on

the skin type, duration of exposure to UV light, and location on earth. Sunburn can occur in less than 30 minutes with light-skinned individuals or can take longer for dark-skinned persons.

With sunburn the skin appears red, feels hot, and is painful when touched.

Sunburn usually appears within a few hours after exposure to ultraviolet light. a few days later the skin will peel and itch and, in severe sunburn, blisters can develop. It takes several days or longer for the burns and blisters to fade and heal.

Symptoms of sunburn are usually temporary, but the skin damage is often permanent and long term. conditions

Our children are prone to eye damage during summertime because their eyes are extremely sensitive to ultraviolet light.

that can appear later in life due to sunburn include dry, wrinkled and rough skin, freckles, benign tumors, precancerous lesions, and skin cancer.

To prevent sunburn: • Keep babies and young children away from direct sunlight.

• Keep kids indoors during the hours of peak ultraviolet radiation, especially between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m.

• apply sunscreen lotions with UVa and UVB protection and sun protection factor (SPF) of 30 or more during outdoor activities and reapply every two hours.

• Make your children wear widebrimmed hats and loose, lightcolored, and long-sleeved shirts as well as long pants when outdoors.

When your child gets sunburn: • Give him a cool shower and apply cold compress to the burn.

• apply moisturizers with aloe vera to soothe the skin, calamine lotion to relieve itchiness and soreness, and a gel or cream with menthol, camphor, or aloe to relieve the sting of the sunburn.

• avoid products with lidocaine, petroleum, and benzocaine.

• apply dry bandages on blisters to prevent infection. Do not break the blisters.

• oral medications such as paracetamol and ibuprofen can be given to relieve pain and reduce inflammation.

• Don’t give aspirin to children.

• For severe sunburn, take your child to the nearest clinic.

• Keep the child hydrated.

• Keep your child indoors and out of the sun until the sunburn heals.

Eye damage our children are prone to eye damage during summertime because their eyes are extremely sensitive to ultraviolet light.

Prolonged exposure to intense sunlight can make the eyes painful and sensitive, eventually leading to cataract, or the progressive clouding of the lens, and to burns on the retina.

When outdoors, it is important to prevent children from playing in the sun too long, especially between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. when the sun is at its peak. Teach your children never to look at the sun directly, and provide them with sunglasses with UV protection, or better yet, wraparound sunglasses that block sunlight from all angles. * MARCH-MAY 2014 FamilyMatters

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iMPROVing Is your son showing signs of seĂąorito complex? Is your daughter a mini-diva?

Teach them to value, appreciate, and care for the blessings that come their way.

By rUTh MaNIMTIM-FloreSca PhoToS By rayMoND S. MaMarIl

LittLe

bossings 16 FamilyMatters

March-May 2014

O

ne couple I know gives their kids expensive gifts for their birthdays or other special occasions that the children would carelessly break or misplace a few days later. The children would then ask for a replacement and are often immediately granted one. and the mom frequently complains that their brood is hardheaded, disobedient, and disrespectful. I find that sad and disturbing. lee hausner, author of Children of Paradise: Successful Parenting for Prosperous Families, says “affluenza” and “entitlitus” are two common diseases among wealthy children. The l.a.-based psychologist explains that kids who are given too much, too early, end up taking things for granted, without placing value on them. To nip this sense of entitlement in the bud, she urges parents to teach children the concepts of “consequence” and “accountability” from an early age. early childhood development and education consultant Ma. carolina GustiloDe ocampo, on the other hand, believes that the feeling of entitlement and privilege is not only confined among the well-to-do.

“There are many children who act very privileged and entitled, but both parents are white-collar job workers or even belong to the lower-class level. [and then] there are children of the materially gifted part of society [who] act very naturally and appropriately,” she says.

She bases her opinion on her interactions with different families in the course of working at different preschools and learning centers. “I believe that parenting styles are very much a part of this type of upbringing,” she says.

Gustilo-De ocampo cites authors Po Bronson and ashley Merryman in their book NurtureShock, who say that while there are many parenting styles, parents’ approach today generally aimS to please their children and accommodate their various needs and wants.

Raising responsible kids If you’re worried that your child is turning into a spoiled, selfish brat, Gustilo-De ocampo says that one way to counter this attitude is to assign him or her tasks around the house, preferably starting at an early age. attempts to instill any good character trait in your son or daughter should be carried out with these pointers in mind: • Take account of the age The younger the child, the simpler and more consistent your instructions should be. For example, a three-year-old should be taught to remove his clothes by himself. Show the child how to do it first, then have him try to do it by himself. When that behavior is

“Affirmation of appropriate behavior is important, but do not go overboard with praises.”

mastered, you can teach him next how to put his dirty clothes in the hamper.

• Model responsible behavior youngsters should see that the important adults in their life “walk the talk.”

• Make the child own the behavior And adults must affirm the positive behavior. as they grow older, kids themselves can monitor how well they are doing through regular checklists or to-do lists that they can write down with their parents’ guidance.

Gustilo-De ocampo reminds us that the behavior being taught must be developmentally appropriate. There should also be no pressure on the child to be the best but only encouragement to be himself.

“The important emotion and feeling that a child must experience is happiness and joy in one’s self,” she says. “Affirmation of appropriate behavior is important, but do not go overboard with praises. The timing of the affirmation and the behavior that is being affirmed are crucial to the social and emotional development of the child.” lavishing praise profusely when it’s not called for is not really constructive, based on an idea called the inverse power of praise, she continues. This concept posits that receiving too many pats on the back, like saying “very good,” “great,” and “awesome” to a child often, may actually lead the youngster to believe that he does not need to make an effort to gain approval or to prove himself.

Looking beyond oneself leon Seltzer, in his article “Child Entitlement Abuse” on Psychology Todayby shares with parents several strategies for raising responsible adults: • Set clear and consistent rules and boundaries. laxness in enforcing them leads children to not take parental limits seriously.

• Establish appropriate consequences when rules are broken. children who are not resolutely held accountable for their negative behavior can develop the notion that they don’t really make mistakes; only others do.

MARCH-MAY 2014 FamilyMatters

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iMPROVing • Create suitable incentives for good behavior. acknowledge children not for their “uniqueness,” which can encourage unhealthy narcissism, but for putting real effort into whatever they do.

• Show that giving is as important and satisfying as receiving. Instill the value of intrinsic motivation, like doing something out of an inner sense of pride and accomplishment, rather than doing something for external enticements like money.

• Children should realize that doing their chores will help them later on to become self-sufficient, caring individuals, and that performing tasks at home is “necessary, expected, and appreciated.” These messages will help them develop a sense of being part of, and contributing to, something larger than themselves.

“Parents need to realize that children aren’t entitled to be free from responsibility.”

Acknowledge children not for their ‘uniqueness,’ which can encourage unhealthy narcissism, but for putting real effort into what they do.

• Teach children how to take “no” for an answer. Mature adults take things in stride and maintain their mental and emotional poise in the face of daily frustrations. Those who grow up sheltered from routine adversities can develop an annoying view that the world is unfair to them personally when they meet setbacks.

They act as though they’re entitled to a life without disharmony.

• Be a positive role model yourself.

Parents who impulsively buy anything they desire exhibit a need for instant gratification or an unwillingness to be patient and wait for what they want. They are inadvertently educating their kids to follow in their footsteps.

• “Parents need to realize that children (despite their being children) aren’t entitled to be free from responsibility,” wrote Seltzer. “For if parents don’t insist that their children act responsibly, they can inadvertently give

The people shown on these pages are models only, not the subjects of the article.

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them the message either that they’re not capable of acting responsibly, or that they really don’t need to because their parents are ready and willing to take over for them. and both these messages are seen as facilitating a sense of entitlement.”

Willingness to wait “The best reminder is that ‘the fruit does not fall far from the tree.’ Parenting is a 24/7 responsibility. as parents, we need to give ourselves time and patience to see the changes in our children,” counsels GustiloDe ocampo, adding that kids are not robots that follow everything we say.

“They are young people who need to learn to think and process. as they say, we need to give our children ‘the gift of time’.

We cannot rush things. everything will fall into place in its own good time.” a parent to two adult children, she says she is glad that her kids have grew up to be independent and responsible. She shares the three values that she and her spouse incorporated into their parenting philosophy.

“My husband and I were not perfect parents, but we believe that we gave them the most important things they needed: unconditional love, consistency, and trust that they will find themselves,” she says. *

BEHaVing

Steer your teens safely through their first foray into the giddy world of romantic dates.

By aNNaBellIe GrUeNBerG PhoToS By rayMoND MaMarIl

RuLes of

dating W hen a child reaches puberty, it is time for parents to level up their relationship with their adolescent beyond loving authority to include friendship. at this developmental stage, teens need constant friendly conversations with their parents. They do not want to be interrogated but to be listened to, and see in you a genuine interest in their feelings, thoughts, and activities. They need to be able to ask questions of you and to get straight answers, or else they will search for these answers elsewhere.

So it is important that to guide them well during these volatile years, parents adjust themselves—hold judgment, refrain from lectures, and rein in their temper.

This way, it will be easier to make acceptable the new rules needed to address the rapid changes in an adolescent’s physical, social, and emotional development. one area where new guidelines are required is in “dating,” one of the most dreaded early moments in a parent’s life. one funny quote captures parents’ feelings

MARCH-MAY 2014 FamilyMatters March-May

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BEHaVing

Help them to take responsibility for their actions, and teach them that actions have consequences that can be either good or bad. about dating: “Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million-dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.” and it is not only daughters that need guiding; boys need rules, too. Most parents assume that their sons know what to do, and that they have nothing to lose because they are boys.

But boys do have a lot to lose—their respect for themselves and for others,

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ability to make the right decisions and judgment, capacity to set and observe boundaries, and capacity to be sensitive.

Without guidance, they may do things that they will regret later on or that will even change their life forever.

Different kinds of dates

Group dates usually start between the ages 14 and 16. The first occasion is the best time to lay down the rules. These should focus on helping teens to be responsible, set boundaries, have self-respect, and learn to say no. create a friendly atmosphere conducive to casual discussion, like while you’re driving, having desserts or shakes, or simply walking about. Sharing your own experiences is a good springboard to a nice chat. Though the topic is serious, let it be a light exchange of thoughts, feelings, and action plans. rather than dictate the rules, involve your teenager in their creation. come up

with an agreement, such as what the consequences (not punishments) are for breaking the rules, so adolescents will learn to make the right decisions. help them to take responsibility for their actions, and teach them that actions have corresponding consequences that can be either good or bad.

Teach boundary setting and make its link to the importance of self-respect apparent. If youngsters feel uncomfortable about what is happening or what they are being pressured to do, they should learn that they have the right to say no.

This is also the time to hear Dad’s and Mom’s points of view of how their respective genders think, feel, and behave. elder siblings may also volunteer their input. once the guidelines are in place, you may also discuss certain issues related to group dating. These concern proper attire and etiquette, friends’ contact information, curfew, venue, and activities. an emergency plan is a must: have guidelines on what to do and who to contact in case of an accident, earthquake, fire, or similar crises.

Something teens look forward to in their high school life, JS Prom Night and Seniors’ Ball are classified as being between a group date and an individual date. again, clear rules and guidelines on proper conduct are necessary. Sons should be taught how to ask a girl out, deliver a formal invitation personally, and talk to the girl’s parents. Parents of the girls should meet the boy and decide if the guy is trustworthy. The decision to accept the invitation is up to the daughter; parents give or withhold their approval. engage the boy in a casual conversation to get to know him more. and if you decide to give your approval, discuss the terms and conditions for taking your daughter out (parents, remember he is not asking for your daughter’s hand in marriage, only to take her to the prom). When he comes to fetch your daughter, remind both of them about the rules. They need to know that you trust them, and that there will be consequences when that trust is broken.

Individual dating usually begins in college, when teens start to spread their wings and explore beyond their comfort

zone. as they enter university, the more they need parental guidance and support, especially in making and recognizing boundaries as they make their exciting journey into adulthood.

If you have guided them well through group and prom dating, it will be easier to teach your children about the rules of individual dating. establish guidelines about school, extracurricular, and social activities.

Discuss about dating and relationships, curfews, companions, and emergency preparedness inside and outside the home. encourage home visits prior to a date, and even boys may be allowed to bring home girl friends. But put limitations as well, like keeping bedrooms off limits, having adults around, and observing visiting hours. at this stage, it is good to have conversations defining dating, relationships, age appropriateness, and sex. encourage questions. Parents should welcome it when teens ask about these matters, because it means they are ready to listen and talk.

Media can be a good conversation prompt. ask their opinion about a certain advertisement, movie, TV show, talk show, or even soap opera. Prepare guide

questions leading to topics you want to discuss, such as “Why do women have to dress sexy when men are around? What message is that giving?” “Why is it that men always coerce women into bed for the latter to prove their love?” listen to their answers, and make them the entry point to a dialogue about values. you might, for example, ask them what they would do if they find themselves in particularly uncomfortable or dangerous situations.

Most parents assume that their sons know what to do, and that they have nothing to lose because they are boys.

News reports and magazine articles are also good sources of discussions.

Topics like date crime, drinking, drugs, rape, and even murder may be brought up. Point out to your children that rules are needed for their own protection.

Keep in mind that teens want to know and understand why their parents are worried. So the worst thing you can say is to respond with something like “Because I said so.” That will put an abrupt end to the conversation, with your teen frustrated, angry, and defiant.

IllUSTraTIoN By rIcUS aFaBle

An adventure to remember

21 21

Dating is an adventure where one should be fully equipped with the right mindset and proper attitude. you as a parent have been there, and you are the best guide for your child. Be firm so your ward doesn’t stray, but keep it fun as well. remember, the teen years are among the most exciting times in a young person’s life, and first dates are rites of passage that can be a glorious or a painful memory to look back on. Much of how these experiences turn out will depend on how well children have been prepared to act wisely and responsibly when it is so easy to lose one’s head in the heat of the moment. *

MARCH-MAY 2014 FamilyMatters

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CElEBRating

Rissa tRiLLo:

a model mom

Like most young women, it took parenthood for this supermodel to realize that, truly, mothers know best.

Here, she pays tribute to her equally well-known mom for her legacy of tough but loving parenting.

By MarIDol raNoa-BISMarK 22 FamilyMatters

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M

odel and beauty columnist rissa MananquilTrillo is in a great place right now. She is pregnant with her third child (after enzo, 16, and celestia, 1 year old), and she has just started her own cosmetics line called happy Skin.

The young mom can’t help but be amazed at her double blessing. “I have two

babies!” she gushes. and like anyone on the verge of something exciting, rissa feels like a child getting ready to open her presents on christmas morning.

“When I was younger, ang feeling ko unfair naman ang parents ko. Bakit may ganitong rules? When I became a parent, it became apparent that they were right.”

GraPhIc DeSIGNeD By rIcUS aFaBle

“ever since we [herself and her husband, avid sportsman Paolo Trillo] found out I am pregnant, I’ve felt very blessed. Parang nabuhusan kami ng blessings ni God. Hindi niya kami pinababayaan.”

Sure, her new business is giving rissa extra challenges, but she doesn’t let them bring her down. She knows that the issues and concerns that come with starting an enterprise are normal. and the spunky young mom is bent on overcoming them, believing she has found something “I can swear my life on.” after all, she’s helping fellow Filipinas not only look good but also feel good. and she has her family to provide wholehearted support for her passion.

“What I feel most grateful for is having a very understanding family. Paolo and my kids understand that the business is going through birth pains. It’s normal for any company.

Mahirap talaga, but maaayos din lahat,” she says.

Her mom, her BFF rissa with her bedrock, BFF, and ever watchful mom Millet Mananquil

rissa is this strong because she has a role model to look up to—her mom, Millet Mananquil, The Philippine Star lifestyle editor and columnist.

The eldest girl in the family (her dad is former la Paz, Tarlac Vice Mayor robert Mananquil) never thought Mom Millet would one day become her bedrock.

“I wish I knew earlier that she would become my best friend,” she admits.

When rissa fumbled along the way, her mom was always there to guide her, not necessarily with a smile, but always with a firm, gentle hand.

Rissa didn’t understand it at first. But now that she’s a parent herself, she is grateful to her mom for making her toe the line.

“When I was younger, ang feeling ko unfair naman ang parents ko. Bakit may ganitong rules? When I became a parent, it became apparent that they were right.

MARCH-MAY 2014 FamilyMatters

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Preventing

“I’m the disciplinarian and Paolo is the more fun parent. But I am also a friend. Everyone goes through that—when one parent is cool and the other is not.”

They did things because they love me.”

Besides, the rules made rissa the unflappable person that she is now. “I don’t think I would be as strong as I am now if I didn’t go through all that. I have no regrets about everything I went through. I won’t change anything in my life.”

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Uncool is cool Now she is raising her children the way her mom brought her up.

“I realize that everything a mom does will be a reflection or example to her daughter. Thinking back, everything my mom did, certain values she had, or the

Loosening up and like her busy working mom, rissa exerts effort to find time for her family despite her hectic schedule. She coaches enzo on his assignments and goes to the school with Paolo when parents are needed for a campus event.

Now that he’s a teenager, rissa realizes she has to learn to slowly loosen her hold on Enzo. “I find myself still treating him like a little boy,” she says. and that’s where rissa is humble enough to admit that learning is a two-way street. “Parents also learn something from their children,” she adds.

With her family growing and expanding, rissa’s journey as a parent is bound to be much, much more exciting—and definitely enlightening. *

GraPhIc DeSIGNeD By rIcUS aFaBle

Family joy: With husband Paolo and kids enzo and celestia

way she conducted herself, even the manner of dressing or caring for the household, I picked up from her,” rissa relates.

“Now that I have my own daughter, I’m much more conscious of that, starting with small habits like hygiene or dressing up.”

Since her mom did not hesitate to discipline her for her errant ways, rissa makes it a point to correct her own children if needed. “I’m the disciplinarian and Paolo is the more fun parent. But I am also a friend. everyone goes through that—when one parent is cool and the other is not.” rissa doesn’t mind being perceived as “uncool” because she knows that someday, her children will understand her in the same way that she now appreciates her mom.

DEVElOPing

n a e a cL

p e e sw cian, a i r t a i d e p a We asked dentist to a d n a , t s gi dermatolo ltimate head-to-toe the u ing and k o give teens o l r o f e guid grooming y day. r e v e d o o smelling g reoN car Il By aIleeN D S. MaMar N o M y a r PhoToS By

C

hanges in your body start to take place once you hit adolescence. By the time you’re well into your teenage years, these changes become even more noticeable— hair growing in new places, face becoming oily, and perspiration increasing and making you prone to body odor. here are some basic hygiene tips for you to look nice, smell good, and stay healthy.

Daily bathing “a young person should take a bath at least twice a day. In the morning, do this to remove excess oil on the hair and scalp and dried mucus on the face, and to maintain cleanliness for the whole day. In the evening, do this to remove all the dirt that has accumulated all day and maintain cleanliness before going to bed,” advises pediatrician Dr. Maria celina cruz.

Using a mild soap, bathe with warm water to avoid exposure to the cold and lessen your susceptibility to bacterial and respiratory infections.

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DEVElOPing

A quick shower after a physical activity like sports is recommended to wash away dirt and sweat. clean your head and body thoroughly.

Give extra attention to areas prone to harboring body odor-producing bacteria like your underarms, buttocks, genitals, and feet. Make exfoliating or scrubbing part of your bath routine. a quick shower after a physical activity like sports is also recommended to wash away dirt and sweat.

Note to girls: Use feminine wash to clean the feminine area, says Dr. cruz.

“Because the Ph level of the feminine area is usually acidic, ordinary soap will not be able to effectively clean it.

Feminine wash contains substances that can eliminate or lessen bacteria in the vaginal area.”

After-bath reminders after your bath, be sure to dry yourself well before putting on clothing. you will be susceptible to fungal infection if you put on socks and underwear while you are still damp.

Because you are now more prone to body odor, it’s time to apply deodorant to prevent this. Keep in mind that a deodorant is not a substitute for a bath. clean your ears daily. “you may use cotton buds for cleaning the ears externally, but never internally since this might push earwax near the tympanic membrane or accidentally hit the

tympanic membrane and result in damaged eardrums,” says Dr. cruz.

Wearing clean clothes It is important to wear clean clothes each day, including fresh socks and underwear. “This way, you avoid exposure to germs. avoidance will lessen your susceptibility to bacterial and fungal infections,” Dr. cruz continues. changing clothes daily is also a way to effectively manage body odor.

Hair care “For oily hair, shampoo every day to lessen the accumulation of oil which makes dust stick easily to your hair,” adds Dr. cruz. “For dry hair, use conditioner daily to avoid flaking of the scalp due to dryness. Too much flaking may result in open wounds. If left untreated, these wounds could lead to bacterial infections.”

If you are suffering from dandruff, there are over-the-counter shampoos formulated to reduce dandruff flakes.

When shampooing, massage your scalp to loosen the flakes with your fingers.

Do this for five minutes and then rinse your hair well. If your dandruff does not

Keep in mind that a deodorant is not a substitute for a bath.

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improve, consult a doctor. antifungal medicines are sometimes prescribed for treatment.

Body hair in the armpit and pubic areas, which can become sweaty and increase body odor, must also be in one’s daily hygiene routine.

Note to boys: Trim your nose hair. having hair sprouting from your nose is unsightly.

Trim only the hair that’s showing; avoid “aggressive trimming” as nose hair is also essential to keep dust and other particles from irritating your nasal cavity and entering your lungs. It is safest to use a pair of small grooming scissors.

Note to girls: While underarm hair is acceptable in boys, girls are expected to have hair-free underarms. Still, you may want to get rid of the hair only when you feel you have enough hair growth. Talk to your mom, aunt, or older sister on your best and safest option.

Facial care “Wash your face twice a day. overwashing will dry out the skin and will cause skin to be irritated,” says Dr. rosenelle raemunde Barcelona, a dermatologist. She recommends using a mild noncomedogenic wash for normal skin. If you are starting to have some blackheads and acne, an antibacterial wash with tea tree extract or benzoyl peroxide is best.

after cleansing, Dr. Barcelona suggests that you apply a toner to remove any dirt or oil residue. Use a light moisturizer for skin hydration and sunscreen for UV protection. She discourages exfoliating with facial scrub because it might over-dry the skin and cause breakouts.

To help keep your face clean and clear, Dr. Barcelona issues these additional reminders: • Don’t pop pimples, as this can cause infection leading to more swelling, redness, and scarring.

• Keep your hair away from the face so oil and dirt from the hair won’t clog skin pores and cause acne formation.

• Don't sleep without washing the face because the accumulated dirt and oil will clog the pores, again leading to acne.

• Eat a well-balanced diet which includes fruits and vegetables and drink lots of water to keep your skin healthy.

• See a dermatologist at the first sign of acne.

Note to boys: If you’re starting to grow and show hair above your lip, on your chin, and along your jawline, you can start

shaving if it bothers you or makes you feel self-conscious. “Use a shaving cream to soften the hair and to prevent ingrown hair. Use clean, sharp razors at all times,” advises Dr. Barcelona.

Dental care Good oral hygiene is a must. Make it a habit to brush at least twice a day and floss between the teeth once a day to prevent dental problems that lead to tooth decay and bad breath.

Dentist Dr. Pamela r. Dy suggests brushing the tongue as well. If you wear braces, use toothbrushes specifically for

“From age 13 onwards, a person should see the dentist every six months for cleaning, fluoride therapy and sealant application if necessary.”

braces to remove bacterial plaque under and around the orthodontic appliances.

If you are unable to brush after eating, at least rinse with water. This way, the sugar and acid which cause tooth decay don’t stay on your teeth for a long period.

Drinking water throughout the day can also help cleanse the teeth of excess bacteria and food debris.

“Kids 12 years and younger should visit the dentist every four months. From age 13 onwards, a person should see the dentist every six months for cleaning, fluoride therapy and sealant application if necessary,” says Dr. Dy. Finally, refrain from biting your nails or objects, as this is both unhygienic and harmful. This bad habit increases your risk for colds and infections in the mouth. Plus, chewing on your nails leaves you with uneven nails, torn and bloody cuticles, and swollen and red fingertips.

Worse, there is the risk that the skin around the nails will become infected or develop warts. * Dr. Maria Celina J. Cruz, a Medical Officer IV at the Office of the Ombudsman, specializes in pediatrics and is a member of the Philippine Medical association.

Dr. Rosenelle Raemunde P. Barcelona holds clinic at the rPB Treatment room Skin clinic at 131 Maginhawa St., Teachers Village, Quezon city.

She practices dermatology and is affiliated with the the Philippine association of Primary Skin health Physicians.

Dr. Pamela R. Dy holds clinic at the Dy Dental clinic at 20 Domingo M. Guevarra St., Mandaluyong City. An affiliate of the Philippine Dental Association, she practices in all fields of dentistry except implantology.

MARCH-MAY 2014 FamilyMatters

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Youth Talk:

staRRing

uncommon journey She is making her way to the top the unusual way— taking no shortcuts, staying whole and wholesome, and establishing her own unique style as a singer and actress.

By MarIDol rañoa-BISMarK

K

apuso singer-actress Julie anne San Jose is willing to sing, host, and act till she drops. But there’s one thing she will never ever do—go sexy.

The 19-year-old communication arts student of angelicum college in Quezon city is absolutely sure that “no matter what happens, I will never go bold. I want to be wholesome.”

Thankfully, her young fan base and those around her agree. Julie ann has yet to get an offer to go bold. and she’s glad. “Ayaw ko ng feeling na na-de-degrade ako.”

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“You still have to be on your own, not as a partner of this or that person. I want to be known as my own person.” after all, her talents are so many that she doesn’t have to do anything drastic to attract attention.

Multi-platinum singer “Pagbangon,” Julie anne’s song of hope for victims of super typhoon yolanda, is doing well on iTunes. The music video has already gotten 117,909 views on youTube. The song has even become a fund-raiser. For only P20, people can download it and help victims of the typhoon at the same time.

Julie anne’s self-titled debut album under GMA Records has been certified to have gone platinum five times.

Needless to say, a second album is in the works. Julie anne has begun listening sessions and is looking forward to having more original songs on her sophomore album. a mainstay of the noontime variety show Sunday All Stars or SaS, she has been proclaimed 2013 Female Performer of the year by yahoo! Philippines oMG! for getting 309,132 combined text and online votes.

Julie anne downplays the fact that she beat out a very strong rival in Pop Princess Sarah Geronimo for the title.

“I shouldn’t be compared to Sarah Geronimo because she’s already on a different level,” she adds. “I’m just starting out. But I’m very thankful because many people are supporting me.”

Humility and gratitude Julie anne knows where all the blessings are coming from.

“I thank the lord sa mga blessings,” she told the audience who applauded her when she received her 5x Platinum record award late last year on SaS. Julie anne is so spiritual that she ranks God as number one on her list of priorities.

Second is her family, followed by her friends (both showbiz and non-showbiz), her God-given talent, especially her voice, and her health.

“I can’t perform well if I’m not healthy. of course, I need health to lengthen my life and so that I can do everything I love to do,” she says. one of the things Julie anne is bent on doing is to finish her studies despite her busy career. and she’s happy her professors and classmates treat her just like any other ordinary student. She wants no special treatment for being a celebrity.

“The people in school don’t crowd around me to have their photos taken with me or ask for autographs. I’m happy

because at least I know how it is to be a normal student,” she continues.

The graduating student hopes to finish school with honors since her grades are something she can be proud of. “I think I can do it,” she says with confidence.

Making her own identity at nearly 5 feet 6 inches, Julie anne not just literally stands tall, she also has that winning attitude that makes her stand above the rest.

For one, she doesn’t want to copy any singer, even as she admires regine Velasquez.

“Dapat original, dapat may distinct quality,” Julie anne says, referring to her voice. and while she recognizes that a love team helps raise her popularity, Julie ann knows she can’t bank on a tandem forever. “you still have to be on your own, not as a partner of this or that person. I want to be known as my own person.”

Julie anne may look sweet and soft, but she is strong and fiercely independent inside. This, and her talent, will make her go a long, long way not just in showbiz, but in life as well. *

One of the things Julie Anne is bent on doing is to finish her studies despite her busy career. And she’s happy her professors and classmates treat her just like any other ordinary student.

MARCH-MAY 2014 FamilyMatters March-May

29

Valuing

The waiTing

game In our permissive lifestyle, giving in is incredibly easy, but there are strong reasons for learning to say no—and they have to do with your self-respect and your future.

By AnnABellie GruenBerG Photos By rAyMonD s. MAMAril

30 FamilyMatters

March-May 2014 MArch-MAy

Looking at the words ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend,’ we note that they contain the word ‘friend.’

I

f you love me, then prove it.”

This a common line used mostly by boys to coerce their girlfriend into physical intimacy, and girls will often do anything to make their boyfriend happy. love and sex, however, are not the same. love is an emotion, sex is an act. one can occur without the other. It is important to understand the difference between the two before young people begin exploring what they think is “love” and engaging in risky experiences, such as premarital sex. looking at the words “boyfriend” and “girlfriend,” we note that they contain the word “friend.” Friendship is the foundation of social relationships, and it takes time to build, especially the romantic kind.

Sex is not a shortcut to friendship; it gives no assurance that one will get to know the other better or that the relationship will be stronger. What creates friendship are constant conversations, doing activities together, being with each other’s sets of friends.

Myths of premarital protection remember that actions can have consequences. Most people think that by using artificial methods of protection, they can head off potential problems like unwanted pregnancies. This is not necessarily so.

In terms of health, some contraceptive methods may have harmful side effects.

Birth control pills may cause reproductive health complications. condoms may have factory defects or cause allergic reactions.

There is also the danger of acquiring sexually transmitted diseases if one engages in promiscuous sex.

Moreover, premarital sex with previous partners could affect succeeding relationships or a marriage. often, mistakes of the past are brought up during

moments of misunderstandings and fights, so it is better not to have any shocking incidents to be ashamed of.

Drawing boundaries There is a misconception that premarital sex is cool—it’s okay to do it because all young people are doing it. The truth is, it is more cool to be someone who is respected for having values.

It takes a lot of courage to stand on one’s ground and refuse to be coerced into doing something one does not want. one way to do this is to learn to draw boundaries; then it becomes easier to say “no” to this kind of pressure.

Sexual intimacy should be reserved for the time when both parties are ready to commit to each for better or worse through marriage. They should be of age and be responsible enough to raise a family.

They should already have the maturity to strive to make the relationship work no matter what, to fulfill the sacred vows made in the name of God, and to selflessly put the welfare of the other above theirs.

When the sexual act is done between a married couple, it becomes an intimate and sacred act of lovemaking intended to seal their commitment to each other, consummate the marriage, and procreate.

For these reasons, sex turns into an expression of love—or as the Bible says, “no longer two but one flesh.”

Controlling impulsiveness It is also for these reasons that it is important for young people to wait before they give in to sexual passion.

The ability to control one’s impulsive behavior is the best proof of love, because love is about selflessness, about putting the well-being of the beloved before oneself. admittedly, this is no easy task. cultivating something precious, like a beautiful, lasting relationship, takes lots of time and hard work. and most young people are not yet ready for this requirement. They are still young and emotionally unstable. Focusing on oneself is the first step to entering a relationship. after all, one can only give himself or herself to another if one knows the self first.

This stage of self-discovery takes decades of growing up. Meantime, there are other exciting things out there waiting to be explored and experienced—new knowledge and skills, untapped creativity and talents, other cultures and places, and dreams to be set and met.

Don’t squander this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be at the threshold of a bright, promising future. Don’t let one impulsive action or one rash decision prevent you from embracing the best that you can be. For now, enjoy your youth and your single blessedness! * MARCH-MAY 2014 FamilyMatters

31

Choosing

Youth Talk:

CHOOsing

heLping

save lives Choosing nursing as a course and a career is not an easy one to make. But it can provide immense fulfillment for those who regard it not just as a job but as a calling.

By eXcel V. DyQUIaNGco

lesley took up nursing partly to fulfill the dream of her mom and lola, who once aspired to become nurses, too.

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March-May 2014

W

hen she was younger, lesley Joie lamirez did not have any difficulty envisioning what she would become when she grew up. at 6 years old, she frequently played with toy syringes, stethoscopes, and medicine kits. “I remember how, when I was child, my parents would buy me things connected with working in a hospital,” says lesley.

In addition, both her mother and grandmother had wanted to become nurses themselves once, but lack of money thwarted their career aspirations.

So when lesley was in high school and had to choose what course to take, “a career in nursing was a no-brainer,” she says.

Not only did she assume her mother and grandmother’s dream, she also made them her inspiration when encountering academic hardships at St. Paul University Manila.

“There were times, for instance, when I felt tired and weary since we had to study the whole book from cover to cover,” she recalls.

There were also stressful times of heavy workload, especially when she got assigned to work at public hospitals and then had to go to school or make case presentations the next day.

“Because of the workload, sleep became a luxury,” lesley says. “Summer vacations were spent in school or the hospital.”

But overall, “the whole four-year course was an enjoyable moment for me,” she adds. In spite of the stress, the sleepless nights, and the paper work, it never crossed her mind to change courses. This was her dream job.

“I didn’t want to waste my time, money, and effort on something I didn’t want to do,” she says. “When I took up nursing, I made sure that this was something I wanted so that my parents’ efforts wouldn’t be wasted. So even when everything was difficult, I was able to adjust through the help of God and prayers.”

First job after graduation, she didn’t work immediately. She decided to gain more experience by going to different trainings and seminars, among them intravenous therapy training and basic life support training.

It was a year later when she applied as a volunteer nurse at St. Paul hospital in cavite that she was able to use her college education. “Working there really shaped me for what lay ahead,” she says.

While there she received an important phone call—a hospital in Manila rang her and offered her a job. That was more than three years ago.

Nurse lesley starts her day by making her nursing rounds. “We talk with the patients and ask how they are,” she says.

“We ask if anything hurts or what they feel. We ask if they need anything. We talk to them one by one and room to room.” after this, she checks the charts of the patients, gives medications, and accompanies the doctors on their rounds.

“It is during the doctors’ rounds that we learn how they plan to manage the illnesses of the patients,” she says.

She also assists in different procedures

done at the wards, such as lumbar puncture, bone marrow aspiration, and chemotherapy. “as nurses, we have three shifts—from 6 a.m. to 2 p.m., from 2 p.m. to 10 p.m., and from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m.,” she says.

“During my first few days at the hospital, they assigned me to the morning shift since the doctors and the consultants were present at this time. The hospital procedures are also mostly done in the morning, too. The most difficult shift for me is the night duty since I have to adjust my body clock. I also have to fill in two shifts straight if one of the other nurses is absent.”

Challenges and compromises assigned to the pediatric ward since the beginning, one of the challenges lesley faces is building a relationship with her

“When I took up nursing, I made sure that this was something I wanted so that my parents’ efforts wouldn’t be wasted.” young patients. “Sometimes, I have a difficult time giving them their medicine,” she says. “What I do is play with them and establish trust first.”

The parents can also become a challenge.

Too worried about their kids, they can sometimes be unintentionally difficult, ordering her around. “We just try to understand them,” she says.

In some cases, her own family time gets compromised, such as when she has to work on christmas Day or New year’s eve or special family occasions. In times of calamity, she also needs to go to work,

braving the heavy rains and floods to get to the hospital on time.

She finds fulfillment in being a nurse when a patient gets discharged and the family expresses their gratitude to her for taking care of him. “one patient told me that I should be awarded because she considers me as a bagong bayani,” she recalls.

She admits that it is not easy being a nurse, but she has learned the value of cultivating patience when dealing with different people. In this profession, patience is a virtue that is best coupled with commitment and passion, she says.

“Just put your work to heart,” she adds.

“I don’t treat this as a job but rather as a vocation because it requires both the heart and the mind to do the work of a nurse,” she says. “I believe that this is my calling. even after a particularly rough and stressful day, I still thank God for the opportunity to help others in my own little way. and no amount of money can ever equal the satisfaction you get from serving others.” * March-May 2014 FamilyMatters

33

faitH & REasOn

Atty. Tito Bundang, a partner at Sapalo Velez Bundang & Bulilan Law Offices in Makati City, writes on legal matters and teaches law at the Commercial Law Department of De La Salle University. He may be reached at (02) 891-1316 or via e-mail at titobund@yahoo.com and info@sapalovelez.com.

taMing the

bully The Philippines has achieved a legal milestone by passing a law that stands up for victims of bullying.

O

ne of the first English words I learned to say in grade school, even before I knew how to spell it, was “bully.� While I could not exactly define it then, it would come to my mind immediately every time I saw burly, towering classmates or older students poking fun at diminutive, defenseless kids in school. everyone has, at one time or another, been a victim or a perpetrator of bullying, or a witness to one, in school. Bullying was once a taboo issue, and incidents of bullying were only whispered about in school corridors and perceived as simply a part of growing up.

But bullying has now become an urgent international concern seeking resolution, its widespread perniciousness brought to light in mounting reports over the past decades of how it has resulted in injuries to, and, worse, the

34 FamilyMatters

March-May 2014

IllUSTraTIoN aND GraPhIc DeSIGN By rIcUS aFaBle

By aTTy. TITo r. BUNDaNG PhoTo By rayMoND MaMarIl

deaths and suicides of some of its victims. according to bullyingstatistics.org, United States statistics for 2010 reveal that one in seven students in grades kindergarten through 12th grade is either a bully or a victim of bullying. Moreover, 15 percent of all the students who do not show up for school report it to being out of fear of school bullies. Meanwhile, about 56 percent of all students have witnessed a bullying crime take place while in school, and one out of every 10 students drops out or changes school because of repeated bullying.

Provisions of the law To address this alarming issue, President Benigno aquino III on September 12, 2013 signed into law republic act No. 10627 (r.a. 10627), otherwise known as the “anti-Bullying act of 2013.” r.a. 10627’s implementing rules and regulations were issued by the Department of education (Deped) on December 13, 2013.

Under r.a. 10627, “bullying” refers to any severe or repeated use by one or more students of a written, verbal, or electronic expression, or a physical act or gesture, or any combination thereof, directed at another student that results in any of the following: • causes or places the student to be in reasonable fear of physical or emotional harm or damage to his property • creates a hostile environment at school for the other student • Infringes on the rights of the other student at school • Disrupts the education process or the orderly operation of a school Bullying includes but is not limited to these actions: • any unwanted physical contact between the bully and the victim • any act that causes damage to a victim’s psyche and/or emotional well-being • any slanderous statement or accusation that causes the victim undue emotional distress “cyber-bullying,” or bullying done through the use of technology or any

electronic means, is likewise included. apparently, to be covered under r.a.

10627, the written, verbal, physical, or electronic expression of bullying should be either “severe” or “repeated.” as for the bully’s words and deeds, they should also lead to a reasonable fear of physical or emotional harm or damage to his property on the part of the victim. additionally, the parties involved— the bully and the victim—should be elementary or secondary students.

Bullying may be done on the school grounds or nearby property, in schoolsponsored or school-related activities anywhere, or through the use of technology or electronic device.

Schools’ obligations r.a. 10627 covers only elementary and secondary schools, both private and public. It requires them to adopt and regularly update policies and measures

must also provide for the monitoring of potential victims or bullies, and keep records of bullying incidents.

4. The parents can participate in discussions on bullying and its prevention.

DepEd’s role For its part, the education department is required to initiate and support programs on anti-bullying, review and assess the anti-bullying policies of schools, and conduct anti-bullying training programs for all stakeholders. as for sanctions, the Deped may suspend or revoke the permit of a private school that fails to comply with the provisions of r.a. 10627.

Public school personnel who fail to comply with the law may be subjected to administrative disciplinary proceedings under Deped’s civil service rules and relevant issuances.

To be covered under R.A. 10627, the written, verbal, physical, or electronic expression of bullying should be either ‘severe’ or ‘repeated.’ addressing school “bullying,” and to inform Deped in writing about these policies.

These anti-bullying mechanisms refer to clear procedures and programs where: 1. The students can better understand

bullying, its prevention, and how they can build a culture of respect and instill in themselves a positive behavior.

2. The victims can report bullying incidents, seek redress, and obtain relief.

3. The schools can determine, investigate, and prevent bullying and other. prohibited acts from taking place. The schools should also provide guidelines for handling bullying cases, imposing administrative sanctions on bullies, setting up a rehabilitation program for bullies, and providing counseling and education to the bullies, the victims, and their respective families. They

It takes a village Bullying is a pervasive and serious occurrence that not only refuses to go away, but even appears to be on the rise. With the advent of modern technology, this evil practice has successfully spread far and wide, even invading the sanctity of one’s home.

The passing of r.a. 10627 is just the first step in addressing this nagging social problem. Ultimately, what is needed is for everyone with a stake in this reform endeavor—the school, the parent, the student, the police, the government— to unite and face this malady together.

Turning a blind eye will only cause more innocent children to suffer needlessly in silence and despair. * March-May 2014 FamilyMatters

35

tREnDing

101 Heard of this site but unsure what it’s about? Read on and see how it’s enriching the world of people who have discovered its visual wonders.

By STePhaNIe Mayo

M

ore and more people are getting caught up in it. The daydreamer, the list maker, the artist, the escapist, the hoarder, the party planner, the retailer, and the DIy mom are all hung up on it.

It’s called Pinterest, a photo-sharing website launched in March 2010 and listed as one of Time magazine’s “50 Best Websites of 2011.” Top tech news site Mashable, in its 2013 article “13 ‘Pinteresting’ facts about Pinterest Users,” reports that Pinterest has an average of 1.36 million users daily. Majority are mothers, and 28 percent have a household income of more than $100,000.

36 FamilyMatters

March-May 2014

In the Philippines, statistics show that there are 30 million Facebook users, but surprisingly, there are no figures on Filipino users of Pinterest. It is perhaps safe to assume that most Filipinos haven’t yet explored the magic of this social media platform.

How it works The concept of Pinterest is quite simple. Imagine a corkboard where you pin pictures of countries you want to visit, like a visual wall of motivation to make you save up for a travel fund. or if you’re planning the perfect outfit for your high school reunion, you pin a collection of magazine clippings of inspiring fashion pieces.

Now convert that corkboard into a virtual one, and that’s what Pinterest is all about—Pin + interest. you, the user, can have as many virtual corkboards as you like, labeled according to your whim, and you can pin unlimited images on them.

Pinterest is essentially a venue to curate your visual collections.

For instance, I have a Pinterest board dedicated to actor Michael Fassbender,

In the Philippines, statistics show that there are 30 million Facebook users, but surprisingly, there are no figures on Filipino users of Pinterest.

where I pin all images of him that I discover on the Internet or on the Pinterest homefeed. a girl from london might discover one of my pins and “re-pin” it on her own board she titled “celebrity crushes.” or if she’s impressed by my entire board, she can follow it and be updated on my future Fassbender pins. and if we bond over our mutual love for him, we can create a community board with other fans, and pin to the same board titled “Michael Fassbender: The Greatest actor of all Time.”

I can “heart” a pin that I like, or click on it to lead me to the source, like an online GQ article on Michael Fassbender. a housewife might have a board titled “Interesting recipes,” where she pins anything that catches her foodie eye on the homefeed, like that mouthwatering photo of an oreo-stuffed mint chocolate, or novel cheesecake popsicles, or pretty watermelon cupcakes. a girl getting married, on the other hand, can create a board, title it “Wedding Inspiration,” and gather images to help plan her perfect wedding, from

MARCH-MAY 2014 FamilyMatters March-May

37

tREnDing souvenir ideas, to color schemes, to invitations. Not only can she re-pin from other users’ boards, she can also hit the send button to forward the image to her maid of honor via Gmail, Google Plus, or yahoo. also, she can type “wedding gown with sleeves” on Pinterest’s search field and be instantly bombarded by thousands of results from where she can choose the perfect one to send to her dressmaker.

Simply put, Pinterest is a visual eyecandy collection of customized boards where you consolidate images of your interest. It’s also a neat bookmarking tool for organizing and categorizing your interests and referring to them in the future.

Testimonials from users Pinterest may not be as popular as Facebook in the country, but we asked a few active Filipino Pinterest users to share their reasons for using the social media site.

Sajid Kamid, 38, a research and extension specialist at the University of the Philippines, Diliman, says, “I do get my articles, with images, of course, noticed by and shared to a wider network. Plus, I also get to discover other precious items out there, shared by Pinterest users around the world.”

“I fell in love with Pinterest instantly,” Jessica rae Mayo, 28, a freelance graphic artist, says. “It’s full of unlimited eyecandy pictures all on one site. They are laid out perfectly. Pictures are not restricted to one-size dimension. It feels free yet organized. For a visual person like me, it is heaven in cyberspace. I felt like columbus when he discovered america after a long sea journey of websites.”

Sam lazuna, a blogger and an event planner, shares her main reason for joining Pinterest: “I want to create a board for my makeup looks, for my favorite quotations, and an idea board for events that I organize.”

Jessica adds, “Besides Google, I sometimes use Pinterest for searching. It inspires me. It is food for my soul. you can discover and learn new things: DIys, ideas, tutorials. It’s also not just an image bank—a pin redirects you to the website

38 FamilyMatters

March-May 2014

Pinterest is a visual eye-candy collection of customized boards where you consolidate images of your interest.

source, where you can read more about it. once you start pinning, it never ends!”

Pinterest and small business Small enterprises in the country might think about utilizing Pinterest, too.

Socialmediatoday.com reports: “Conversion rates for Pinterest traffic are 50% higher than conversion rates from other traffic, and Pinterest is the top converting social media site for ‘Top of the Funnel’ advertising. In other words, Pinterest drives more traffic. Which is of course what you ultimately want, for people to go to your website to purchase whatever it is you’re selling.” curalate Insights website, in its article, “Four reasons Why consumers engage with Brands on Pinterest,” has this interesting thing to say: “70 percent of online consumers use Pinterest to get inspiration for future purchases, according to Bizrate. Pinterest isn’t just appealing to women, either. Mercedez-Benz and audi have reported success with their efforts to cultivate more male audience members on their boards.”

So if you have a business, you better start thinking of putting a “Pin It” button on your site.

Start pinning luckily for new users, it is now easy to join Pinterest, unlike before when it was an invitation-only joining process. Take a break from Facebook and its tiresome newsfeed of people’s lives, and head on to Pinterest and explore and get inspired.

Who knows? Fantasies might turn into realistic goals, images might unlock your inner creativity, and a new hobby or business inspiration might just be waiting for you. happy pinning! *

PREVEnting

fiRepRoof

your high-Rise

home Residents of the teeming condominiums in the city can take concrete steps to keep their homes from turning into a towering inferno.

By eXcel V. DyQUIaNGco PhoToS By rayMoND S. MaMarIl

MARCH IS FIRE PREVENTION MONTH!

March-May 2014 FamilyMatters

39

PREVEnting

ompared to traditional residential houses, a fire breaking out in residential condominium buildings can pose a greater risk to their residents. Senior Inspector romeo Pepito Jr., chief of the Fire arson Investigation Section of the Bureau of Fire Protection, says there are two reasons for this.

The first is because condominium units are grouped much closer together than conventional homes. “The units are very close to one another. There are units above you, and there are units below you,” Pepito says. “When a fire breaks out on the second floor, for instance, chances are the rest of the floors above will get affected. When the fire is on the topmost floor, the flames will fan down to the lower floors.”

The second has to do with the firefighting capability of some cities and municipalities. “Unfortunately, there are places in the metropolis that don’t have fire trucks with extension ladders that can reach up to the topmost floor of condominiums,” he says. “When a fire breaks out among the higher floors, the rescue can be difficult.”

Fire prevention moves But because condominium living often comes with attractive and practical perks like high-tech amenities, modern conveniences, and a good location, more and more families are opting to live in a high-rise. So what can you do to make your building fireproof?

Don’t be shy about asking questions.

Safety should start even before you buy or

40 FamilyMatters

March-May 2014

rent a unit. Before deciding on a purchase, stop and observe for a while. Find answers to these and similar questions: are there enough smoke and heat detectors in the unit? Is the fire exit easily accessible? Is the developer following the safety and fire codes of the country?

Get your unit inspected. If you are unsure and want to double-check everything, go to the nearest fire station and ask for a professional inspection of your potential unit.

Make sure that all fire-prevention systems are working well. If you’re already living in a multistory dwelling, don’t just rely on management to do the job of fire prevention. Coordinate with officials to ensure that the smoke, heat, and gas detectors are functioning properly. “The first equipment that can extinguish a fire is, of course, the fireprotection system of the whole building,” says Pepito. “Talk with the management and make sure that everything is properly aligned.”

Buy additional smoke and heat detectors. If you have the budget, you can install additional quality smoke and heat detectors for your home. a 30- or 40-square-meter unit only needs around two smoke detectors. “But when it

comes to safety, don’t be cheap,” says Pepito. “Make sure that what you buy is of quality and standard material.”

Conduct a monthly test. “If you have a portable smoke or heat detector, push the test button and see if it’s in order,” Pepito says. “Now if you are really hardcore and you want to see if it’s indeed working, light a fire. Of course, you need to be careful when you choose to do this. The smoke could activate the whole alarm system of the building.”

Mark your nearest escape route.

Make sure you know where the nearest fire exit is and how to get there in case of a breakout. Have a fire drill with your family and practice how to reach the fire escape even if billowing smoke is making your way difficult.

Always have the contact number of the nearest fire department. Keep it on your mobile phone or stick it on the refrigerator door. Wherever you decide to keep it, make sure it is always within easy reach. “This is the most basic of all rules,” Pepito says. “If you don’t have the number of the nearest fire department, they can’t get to you.”

Why the nearest? “Because if not, the fire department you’ll be calling will just contact the fire

If panic gets to you, you’re more likely to make wrong—even potentially fatal—decisions.

GraPhIc DeSIGNeD By rIcUS aFaBle

C

“When it comes to safety, don’t be cheap. Make sure that what you buy is of quality and standard material.”

EMERGENCY “This is the most basic of all rules.

If you don’t have the number of the nearest fire department, they can’t get to you.” department nearest you. you’ll be wasting precious time, and who knows what could happen by then?” he adds.

When disaster strikes Should a fire start, here’s what you should do to increase the chances that you and your family come out of the crisis alive.

Don’t panic. No matter where you live, calmness is a must. although maintaining all your senses sharp is very difficult at a time like this, it will allow you to think about your best options in the face of extreme danger. If you panic, you’re more likely to make wrong—even possibly fatal—decisions.

Find the nearest exit. crawl to the nearest exit then climb down the stairwell. “The fire and fumes don’t reach the bottom part of the atmosphere, so make sure that when you search around for the door, you keep your head and body low,” says Pepito. “otherwise, you’ll inhale a whole lot of smoke.” here is where the fire drill you staged with your family can prove to be a lifesaver.

Don’t lock yourself in the bathroom. research shows that most deaths by fire occur in the bathroom. “When your

condominium is on fire, the water sources around your area gets heated as well,” says Pepito. “Plus, when you lock yourself in the bathroom, you cut off your escape.” remember that it is your family’s survival at stake, so don’t leave such a life-ordeath issue as fire prevention solely in the hands of other people. “as a unit owner, have some social responsibility and be vigilant and aware,” says Pepito. “If you don’t trust the safety equipment installed in your unit, buy some for yourself. It’s an investment you won’t regret.” *

Who’s to blame?

When it comes to fireproofing high-rises, who has the responsibility? Let’s hear what Atty. Francis Serrano, of the board of directors of the Philippine Association of Building Administrators Inc., has to say.

“Nowhere in the association documents does it state [who has] the responsibility for the fireproofing of the building,” Serrano says.

Often, buyers are more interested in the details of acquiring a unit rather than the circumstances surrounding a building’s construction, so a prospective unit owner rarely includes it as an issue during negotiation.

Serrano adds that, usually, once a building project is declared completed, it is simply presumed that all the requirements for the safety of the structure have been complied with by the contractor, including those on fire safety.

Because of such documental ambiguity, the responsibility for fire prevention does not seem to point to the condominium’s corporation.

“However, the duty and responsibility to determine the fireproofing of the building will be relegated to the board of directors which is in charge of the operation and maintenance of the project,” he says. “Some of its powers can be delegated to the building administrator or manager.”

So, should a fire break out, it will be classified as accidental.

“Therefore it is believed that the condominium corporation has no responsibility for loss of life and property occasioned by fire,” says Serrano.

“It will be difficult to prove carelessness.”

He adds, “Incidentally, besides a common insurance cover, the condominium corporation obtains an all-risk insurance cover. This will shoulder part of the money responsibility. Nevertheless, the members of the board do not share any of the responsibility.”

MARCH-MAY 2014 FamilyMatters

41

MOtiVating

Let us

pray Praying by yourself is great, but nothing amplifies the power of prayer more than speaking to God in the solid, resolute voice of the whole family.

By rUTh MaNIMTIM-FloreSca PhoToS By rayMoND MaMarIl 42 FamilyMatters

March-May 2014

T

he family that prays together stays together” is a simple but powerful statement.

While solitary praying is commendable, I believe that praying together as a family is even better—besides nurturing everyone’s faith, it strengthens the bond between members.

In our house, with two kids in college and staying in a dorm, my husband and I make sure that when the boys are home during weekends, we all eat meals together, as well as share individual concerns every Sunday night before taking turns praying as a family.

These days, we are hearing more and more about how young people disrespect their parents and other adults, commit grave mistakes, or fall into vice. I think we can prevent the young from taking the wrong path down a ruined future by cultivating a family tradition of praying to instill good values in our children.

Say a prayer of blessing for family members as they leave your home to encourage each other to live as faithful followers of Jesus.

Starting the tradition So how do you make praying a family habit? The loyola Press, a Jesuit ministry, suggests incorporating prayers of blessing into your daily routine as a way to express your desire for what is best for your kids. Take the following opportunities to offer prayers of blessings with and for your children: At bedtime. encourage your child to name the family members and friends he would like to pray for, such as saying a simple “God bless (name).” or he could offer prayer intentions, such as asking God to heal someone. end the prayer session by saying a blessing for your child.

In the morning. Say a prayer of blessing for family members as they leave

your home to encourage them to live as faithful followers of Jesus. ask each one to name specific concerns they may encounter during the day and pray about it together, seeking God’s favor for all of their activities.

At mealtime. Don’t forget to feed your soul also while you nourish your body.

Meals are good occasions to connect with the people we consider the most important in our lives. Not only do we get to ask God to bless our food, we can also request that he make our lives a blessing to others. This is likewise a chance to ask each family member to share good things they experienced throughout the day so you can pray together in thanksgiving.

During special occasions. celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, baptisms, graduations, and other family milestones can be considered as more reasons to praise God for another year and solicit more of his blessings in the coming days. other occasions to engage in MARCH-MAY 2014 FamilyMatters

43

MOtiVating family prayer include christmas, New year, and even the start of a new school year.

In times of transition and difficulty. Troubling times call for seeking God’s protection even more. Specific needs call for specific prayers. The challenges and difficulties of life should remind us of his faithfulness to always see us through. Whether we need to make small or large decisions, discerning life choices such as switching jobs, choosing a college course, or moving to a new home, and when dealing with sickness and death, it is good to know that God is always there to listen, guide, or comfort us whenever we need him to. Don’t allow yourself to be sealed into a routine to the point where extra prayers are no longer common.

Scheduling time for prayer Research studies confirm the many benefits that collective prayers provide.

In the article “Making Prayer happen at home,” writer andrew S. Brimhall, of Brigham young University for the Forever Families website, writes that praying together has helped couples and families change perspectives, deal with conflict, increase positive interactions, and improve overall marital health. “however, in order to succeed, prayer needs to be more than a routine.

Meaningful [and honest] prayer can strengthen bonds, build unity, and reinforce values,” he explains.

Brimhall, who has a Ph.D. in Marriage and Family Therapy, gives parents ideas on how to establish prayer traditions at home: Plan the times when you will pray together as a family. even if schedules

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March-May 2014

Praying together has helped couples and families change perspectives, deal with conflict, increase positive interactions, and improve overall marital health. become hectic, having a set time will help you remember to pray.

Involve everyone in deciding when you will start a new family ritual. ask your children for suggestions. Their schedules need to be considered, too.

Remain consistent in staying true to your plan. Don’t let other activities distract you, or else you’ll fall into the trap of praying only when it is convenient. “always make time for prayer. Make it a priority and stick with it,” advises Brimhall. he adds that if someone doesn’t

want to actually pray but will participate, simply take the lead and continue praying.

Be creative. If your family is very large and coordinating schedules is difficult, divide praying time by batches. For instance, pray with older children before they go to school, then pray later with smaller kids who don’t need to wake up as early as their siblings. It is not a hard-andfast rule that there should be only one family prayer time. Besides, occasional prayers with smaller groups of family members can help strengthen the personal relationships of those involved.

Start early. Don’t wait until you have children before starting family prayer time. It should begin with newly married couples. Initiate the tradition as early as possible.

Be adaptable. Say short prayers if you have young kids, as they will lose interest in long, “boring” litanies, and might develop a negative concept of prayer. Make family prayer a teaching tool by letting small children listen to their parents and older siblings pray.

Have a positive attitude about prayer. children will value prayer time if they see their parents prioritizing it over anything else. “Be aware how you portray prayer and its importance in your marriage and family,” says Brimhall.

Pray always. The more you pray, the more your perspective will be in harmony with God’s, and the more you’ll see things through His eyes. You will find yourself less angry, more neutral, and more aware of each other’s needs. “you also learn more about who you are and what things you can do to improve your relationships,” shares Brimhall. *

Eating

Picnic peRfect!

This summer outdoor menu we’ve prepared for you is a breeze to make, especially when it’s turned into a fun family bonding activity!

By cecIlle eSPeraNZa

Whether you’re going to the beach, a spring resort, or a park, you can make your family outing more exciting and delightful by making a cooking fest part of your outdoor activity. Surely, nothing whets the appetite more than the aroma of buttered corn cooking on a charcoal grill or the beautiful sight of variegated fruits in season on skewers. check out these picnic recipes we’ve prepared for you. They’re not only easy to do— even by the kids—they’re deliciously healthy as well!

Grilled Corn on Cob with Herbed Butter Photo: SanFranAnnie / www.flickr.com/photos/sanfranannie/4867627698/sizes/l

Serves 6

6 tablespoons butter, softened 2 tablespoons fresh tarragon, minced 1 clove garlic, minced 4 ears sweet corn, peeled and cleaned Salt and pepper 1. In a mixing bowl, combine butter, tarragon, and garlic.

2. Mix well until smooth and creamy.

Set aside.

3. Preheat the griller.

4. lightly brush each ear of corn with a little of the garlic-tarragon butter and arrange on the hot grill.

5. Grill until kernels are nicely browned all over, about 8 to 12 minutes, turning corn as needed.

6. Brush with remaining butter, and season with salt and pepper.

7. remove from grill and serve.

March-May 2014 FamilyMatters

45

Eating 1 /4 cup olive oil 2 cloves garlic, minced Salt Freshly ground black pepper 2 medium tomatoes, quartered 1 zucchini, trimmed and cut into cubes 1 /2 cup cubed red bell pepper 1 medium white onion, quartered 1 /2 cup button mushrooms Wooden or metal skewers

1. In a small bowl, combine olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.

Set aside.

2. Thread vegetables alternately onto skewers.

3. Brush skewered vegetables with olive oil-garlic mixture.

4. Grill over medium-hot coals until done.

5. Brush with remaining olive oil-garlic mixture during grilling.

Tip: Buy fresh vegetables to enjoy their full sweetness and juiciness.

Cranberry Iced Tea

Roasted Chicken Pockets

Serves Serves 66

1 1/2 cups shredded romaine lettuce 3 tomatoes, cut into wedges 1 /2 cup green bell pepper, cut into strips 1 /2 cup shredded carrots 1 /2 cup diced cucumber 2 cups shredded roasted chicken 1 /2 cup plain yogurt 3 whole pita bread, cut in half, lightly toasted Salt and pepper, to taste 1. Place lettuce, tomatoes, pepper, carrots, and cucumber in a large bowl. Toss to mix evenly.

2. In a small bowl, blend chicken and yogurt well.

3. add chicken mixture and stir to combine.

4. Season with salt and pepper.

5. Spoon chicken salad into each pita pocket and serve immediately.

Tip: The night before, slice vegetables, put each kind in a separate covered container, and keep chilled in the refrigerator.

On picnic day itself, put all containers in an ice box. Mix all ingredients and grill pita bread before serving.

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March-May 2014

Photo: stevendepolo / www.flickr.com/photos/stevendepolo/9302009833/sizes/o

Serves 6

1 sachet lemon iced tea powder 3 cups water 2 cups cranberry juice concentrate Ice cubes lemon slices In a pitcher, combine iced tea powder, water, and cranberry juice concentrate and stir well. chill in the refrigerator or serve over ice. Garnish with lemon slices.

Tip: Put iced tea in a covered bottle or container and freeze; ice will have thawed just before serving.

Photo: Photo: StuartWebster StuartWebster // www.fl www.flickr.com/photos/stuartwebster/4208990953/sizes/l ickr.com/photos/stuartwebster/4208990953/sizes/l

Serves 6 to 8

Photo: selmerv / www.flickr.com/photos/selmer/3758543297/sizes/l

Vegetable Kabobs

Fruit Skewers

Photo: theogeo / www.flickr.com/photos/theogeo/1465282484/sizes/l

Serves 6

1 small watermelon, cubed 1 small cantaloupe, cubed 1 cup strawberries, halved 1 small pineapple, peeled and cut into cubes 1 cup black grapes, washed Bamboo skewers 1. Thread fruit onto skewers and keep chilled in an ice box.

2. Serve with your favorite fruit dip.

Tip: You can use any fruit combination of your choice.

1. Keep cold food cold. Place cold

2.

3.

4.

5.

food in a cooler with ice or frozen gel packs. cold food should be stored at 40°F or below to prevent bacterial growth. Meat, poultry, and seafood may be packed while still frozen so they stay colder longer.

Organize cooler contents. consider packing beverages in one cooler and perishable foods in another. This way, when picnickers open and reopen the beverage cooler to replenish their drinks, the perishable foods won’t be exposed to warm outdoor air.

Clean fresh produce. rinse fresh fruits and vegetables, including those with skins and rinds that are not eaten, under running tap water before packing them in the cooler.

Don’t rinse ready-to-eat products. Packaged fruits and vegetables labeled "ready-to-eat," "washed," or "triple-washed" need not be washed.

Don’t cross-contaminate. Be sure to keep raw meat, poultry, and seafood securely wrapped.

This keeps their juices from

6.

7.

8.

9.

Avoid nasty tummy troubles by being safety conscious during food preparations.

contaminating prepared or cooked foods or foods that will be eaten raw, such as fruits and vegetables.

Marinate safely. Store marinated food in the refrigerator—never on the kitchen counter or outdoors. If you plan to use some of the marinade as a sauce for the cooked food, reserve a portion separately before adding the raw meat, poultry, or seafood. Don’t reuse marinade.

Cook immediately after “partial cooking.”

If you partially cook food to reduce grilling time, do so immediately before the food goes on the grill.

Cook food thoroughly. When it’s time to cook, have your food thermometer ready. always use it to be sure food is cooked through.

Keep ‘ready’ food hot. Grilled food can be kept hot without overcooking until ready to serve by moving it to

PhoTo By rayMoND S. MaMarIl

Prepping wisdom

the side of the grill rack, just away from the coals.

10. Don't reuse platters or utensils.

Using the same platter or utensils that previously held raw meat, poultry, or seafood allows bacteria from the raw food’s juices to spread to the cooked food.

March-May 2014 FamilyMatters

47

HOnORing

‘

Family Matters means business siMpLe “Our12 business

ways to say

I love you, Mama!‘

is the

salvation

of souls.” – St. John Bosco

Family Matters Magazine means business but not as the world understands the word but as our Mother, the Church, deals with it—as a means to establish God’s Kingdom here on earth.

By rayMoND S. MaMarIl Family Matters Magazine is a ministry—aPhoTo family ministry.

Its publication is meant to serve the family, the basic unit of the Church, whose members truly care for the holistic welfare of their families.

1. Say “thank you” to let her know

11. Take a photo of the two of you how much you appreciate the countless together, print it, and frame it so she With the institution of family under attack by things relativism, she does for you. will think of you and that moment every secularism, materialism, consumerism, etc., Family Matters 2. Help around the house by doing time she sees it.

Magazine tries to counter-attack these forces with the compelling dishes, the laundry, or the marketing 12. Give her a tight hug, just the way content that respect and promote the familyso notyour onlymom can watch her favorite TV you used to when you were young. as a human institution but as a sacred institution showwith or DVD movie uninterrupted. divine origin.

3. Give her a day off by enrolling her There are so many other ways to give in an event or activity that you know thanksgiving for a wonderful mother— How to get a copy of Family Matters Magazine she’ll enjoy—a facial and body scrub, a from downloading her favorite playlist The publication of Family Matters Magazine is business never meant seminar, a church retreat. to her mobile phone, to accompanying to be a profit-earning endeavor. But all worthy4. andGive noblea little symbol of her to the doctor for a checkup if she’s endeavors have a price. For only P120 per issue, families can appreciation—flowers, jewelry, not feeling well. If you’ve been less than already welcome into their home this magazine—the clothes,perfect shoes—but make sure it’s thoughtful and attentive to her, it’s never companion, teacher, and guide for building warm, caring, nothing tooand expensive or she might too late to change. Why not start this God-centered relationships. (See below for more details scold youon forhow being wasteful! very day? * For more details: to obtain your copy.)

5. Tell her you’ll always be call there Please (02) 8928174 and ask for Fr. Drans. us atshare familymatters14344@gmail.com. for her to lean on, talkE-mail to, and This magazine is also designed to be a Supplemental Visit us: Salesians of Don Bosco Social Communications Office her worries with.

Reading Material for Christian Living Education or Values 6. Invite her for lunch3/F orProvincial dinner House Office, A. Arnaiz cor. C. Roces Ave., Makati City Education in both Grade School and High School Levels; andsit and talk, enjoy the where you just Share your Mother’s Day Subscribers: (+ Postal Fee of P50) in Theology Courses in the College Level. If every student and learnIndividual/Family companionship, more about tradition!

One-Year Subscription (4 Issues) – P480 brings home this magazine, then more and more families each other.will How do (8 youIssues) show– your Two-Year Subscription P920 Mom how benefit from its rich content.

7. Say “I’m sorry” for all the Three-Year Subscription (12 Issues) – P1,300 blessed you feel for having her around heartaches you’ve caused herusbyyour FULL NAME, POSTAL ADDRESS & PHONE NUMBER(S) Email toDon guide, protect, you? o you give a one-dayWe will be happy to meet the Heads of the Pastoral Affairs disobeying her, talking back her, or For to Bank Payments: Pay to Bosco Press,and Inc.,motivate Metrobank only lavish display Office or of the Values Education Departmentignoring of every Inspire other families by sharing Current Account No. 018-3-0185224-8 her. of gratitude to more your about8.this school that is interested to know family Or youfor may personally transact with us atDay our practices, office any day from Cook her favorite meal your Mother’s ideas, mother—then take her her—and be sure to clean Monday p.m. magazine. up theto Friday, 8 a.m.-4 or suggestions with us! Write to for granted the rest of kitchen when you’re done. familymatters14344@gmail.com at: theBosco, year? even aftertheir Social The Salesians of Don through 9. Take your mother Available to a movie, a • St. John Bosco Parish Store, Arnaiz heading Ave., Makati City Day withA.subject Mother’s Mother’s Communications Office, inviteDay youon to May be partners in building symphony, a play, a comedy show, or a • St. John Bosco Parish Store, Sta. Rosa, Laguna Tradition, and we’ll feature your 11, you can continue the basic unit of the Church—the family. With your so support, tiangge she can relax and de-stress.

• National Shrine of Mary Help of Christians Store, Better Living to reciprocate her love with these acts of we hope to make Family Matters Magazine an instrument that mother what answer (accompanying pictures are 10. Ask your you can Subdivision, Parañaque City kindness be Filipino spread throughout will inspirethat andcan guide families to establish a loving do for her that she finds• Merriam hard to handle welcome, too!)cor. in C.the nextAve., issue of City Webster Bookstore, A. Arnaiz Roces Makati the year. home where the presence of God reigns.

Ave., Makati City or has been putting off. • Word & Life Center, A. Arnaiz Family Matters.

D 48 FamilyMatters

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