Family Matters December 2016-February 2017 by St. John Bosco Today

ONTENTS

Regular 2 HOMEWORK

KAILAN MALIGAYA ANG PASKO?

4 FAMILY NOTE THE GIFT OF LIFE

6 FRAMEABLE

THE CHRISTMAS ALPHABET

6 24 25 28 31 34

Special Section

The Gift of Life When Does Life Begin? Why We Opted for NFP The Culture of Life An Omen of Doom?

Volume 4 | Number 3 December 2016-February 2017

Parentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Corner rne er 7 PROTECTING PARTY ON!

10 CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS IS FOR CHILDREN

12 PREVENTING LOVE YOUR LIVER

15 PARENTING COMBATING CYBER PORN

18 CONNECTING A VISIT TO THE BILIBID

20 RELATING

THE PARENT TRAP

Youth

Talk

37 The Heart of a Champ 40 Stay Street Safe 42 Home Is the Sea 44 Taking False Credit 46 New Year, New Me

HOMEWORK

Kailan Maligaya ang PASKO? Regalo, Noche Buena, kaakit-akit na ilaw at dekorasyon—alisin man ito ay masaya pa rin ang Pasko kung ating gugunitain na ang tunay na diwa ng okasyong ito ay si Hesus at ang handog niyang buhay para sa lahat ng tao.

By FR. BERNARD P. NOLASCO, SDB 2

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

BAKIT NGA BA MALIGAYA ANG PASKO? Bakit nga ba kapag binabanggit pa lang ang salitang Pasko o Christmas sa ingles, dama agad ang masayang pananabik at tila di maiwasan ang ngumiti? Magiging maligaya pa ba ang Pasko kapag walang kumukutitap na mga ilaw, walang Noche Buena, walang aguinaldong matatanggap o maibibigay, walang kasamang mahal sa buhay, walang pera…? May mga nagsasabi na ‘malamig’ daw ang kanilang Pasko dahil wala silang kasintahan. May iba pang nagsasabi na malungkot daw ang Pasko nila dahil di sapat ang budget para sa ‘maraming gastusin’ pag panahon ng Pasko. Ang iba naman ay nagtatanong pa rin kung para saan at para kanino ba talaga ang Pasko. Di ko ikukubli o itatago na ako rin naman ay nadadala sa maraming palamuti ng panahon ng Pasko. Parang kulang ang Pasko kung wala akong isasabit o aayusin na mga dekorasyong pang Pasko. Parang kulang ang Pasko kung di ako magpapatugtog ng mga awiting pang Pasko. Parang kulang ang Pasko kung di ako magbibigay ng mga regalo sa ibang tao o di makatatanggap ng regalo mula sa ibang tao. Parang kulang ang Pasko kung wala man lang akong dinaluhang

Ang buhay ng bawat tao—mabait man o masama, may malubhang sakit man o malusog, nasa sinapupunan pa ng ina o ipinanganak na—ay isang biyaya ng Diyos na ipinagkakatiwala Niya sa akin at sa iyo. Christmas party o kung walang Noche Buena lalung-lalo na ang tradisyonal na hamon at keso de bola. Parang kulang ang Pasko kung di man lang ako uuwi sa amin at ipagdiriwang ito kasama ang aking mga magulang at mga kapatid. Oo…parang kulang lang kung wala ang mga ito dahil alam ko naman ang katotohanan na di kailanman magiging totoong kulang ang Pasko kung wala ang mga bagay-bagay na aking nabanggit. Alam ko naman na ang lahat ng mga ito ay pawang mga palamuti lamang. Kung tatanggalin natin ang lahat ng mga palamuting ito, ano ang tanging maiiwan sa Pasko na siyang magpapanatili ng maligayang pagdiriwang nito? Syempre, alam naman natin na ang tanging sagot dito ay walang iba kundi si Hesus at ang Kanyang handog na buhay para sa buong sangkatauhan. Handog Niya ay ang ating kaligtasan mula sa pagkaalipin sa kasalanan at kamatayan patungo sa Kanyang biyayang nagpapalaya at buhay na walang hanggan. Mahalaga sa Panginoon ang Kanyang handog na buhay sa akin at sa iyo. Hindi papayag ang Panginoon na manatili tayo sa kamay ng kamatayan. Ang bawat buhay ng tao ay mahalaga sa Diyos. Pinatunayan Niya ang tunay na halaga nito nung Siya mismo ay naging tao at nakipanayam sa tao. At upang mas mabatid natin na talagang mahalaga ang buhay ng tao, tinubos Niya ang buhay ng bawat tao sa pamamagitan ng Kanya buhay. Kung may mahalagang mensahe ang panahon ng Pasko, ito iyon: na ang buhay ko at buhay mo at buhay ng bawat tao—mabait ka man o masama, may malubhang sakit ka man o malusog, nasa sinapupunan pa ng ina o ipinanganak na—ay isang biyaya ng Diyos na ipinagkakatiwala Niya sa akin at sa iyo. Diyos lang ang may-ari ng buhay. Siya ang nagpahiram. Siya lang din ang may tanging kapangyarihang bawiin ito sa oras na itinakda Niya. Walang sino man ang maaaring kumitil ng buhay ninuman. Nawa’y ang diwa ng Pasko ay magsilbing paalala sa akin at sa iyo na ang ipinahiram ng Diyos na buhay

Kahit tanggalin natin ang lahat ng mga palamuti ng Pasko, mananatiling maligaya ang panahong ito kung iginagalang natin ang buhay ng bawat nilalang ng Diyos. ay kailangan nating alagaan, pabanalin, at pagyamanin. Kahit tanggalin natin ang lahat ng mga palamuti ng Pasko, mananatiling maligaya ang panahong ito kung iginagalang natin ang buhay ng bawat nilalang ng Diyos. Sa tao na may paggalang sa sarili niyang buhay at sa buhay ng iba, ang buhay niya araw-araw ay magiging Pasko lagi!!! FM

Maligayang Pasko sa inyo at sa bawat pamilyang Pilipino!!! Dece December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

Family note FamilyMatters

The Gift of Life

eason’s Best Wishes to All! We at Family Matters received an early Christmas gift that we’re honored to share with you—we won for Best Family-Oriented Magazine at the 38th Catholic Mass Media Awards held in October. This recognition inspires us to further improve the magazine so it continues to contribute to the enrichment of the Filipino family’s character and values. Please feel free to tell us how else our publication can be more attuned to your needs. This is again another meaningful edition where this time around, we firmly uphold the concept of respect for life. Christmastime is the appropriate time to bring everyone’s attention to this important topic. For one, it’s the birthday of Jesus Christ, who was sent down to earth to rekindle hope in the heart of humankind, the birth of His Son being the concrete form of our Father’s promise of eternal life. Another reason—a more somber one—is the alarming explosion of violent incidents and heinous crimes, as a “culture of death” seems to be engulfing our nation. I, for one, can’t stop monitoring the news and fearing for my family’s safety as media provides shocking coverage of senseless murders conducted for the flimsiest or vilest of reasons, and coldblooded extrajudicial killings carried out by shadowy specters. Recognition of the sanctity of life and observance of due process seem in danger of dissipating in our society. This is why for this issue, Family Matters chose to focus on the theme “The Gift of Life,” an urgent reminder to all to value life and affirm every individual’s right to live, whether that person is a fetus still developing in the mother’s womb or an elderly person approaching the final chapter of life. The special section starts on page 24 and features four respected proponents of life who present convincing arguments on why only a “culture of life” can ensure the continuation of civilized society. We have other inspiring columns and articles rejoicing in the spirit of the holidays. Fr. Drans reveals the keys to a really meaningful Yuletide season in his regular column on page 2 and in his short but rousing “Christmas Alphabet” on page 6. Check out also the heartwarming “Christmas Is for Children” on page 11. At the same time, we’re not forgetting that after the holidays comes Valentine’s Day. After marriage and kids, couples are often forced to relegate romance to the bottom of their priority list, behind raising a family, educating the kids, doing housework and other chores, earning a living. Besides not having the time or energy, there’s frequently not enough left in the budget for a just-for-two interlude after the food, tuition, bills, and other expenses are deducted. But take heart: love can survive all these! We got to talk to four longtime couples who have stayed as sweet to each other as if they had never left the dating stage. Turn to page 20 to see how they keep their passion hot and how you, too, can avoid the dreaded “parent trap.” As for our young readers, it would be great if you can use the school break to reflect on how to repay your parents for taking care of you all these years and in the years to come. Suggestion: How about making a New Year’s resolution to be a better anak to them starting 2017? In “New Year, New Me” on page 46, we share with you the five traits of a good child. Embrace them and you’ll surely become the gift that your parents asked for when they prayed to be blessed with loving children. Go for it!

Volume 4 | Number 3 December 2016-February 2017

PUBLISHER Don Bosco Press, Inc. ADVISER Fr. Bernard P. Nolasco, SDB EDITOR Romelda C. Ascutia ART DIRECTOR Early Macabales CONTRIBUTORS Maridol Rañoa-Bismark Anna Cosio Excel V. Dyquiangco Erlinda Esguerra Gabriel Joshua M. Floresca Ruth Manimtim-Floresca Annabellie Gruenberg Stephanie Mayo Stef Patag Anthony James Perez Quirino Sugon Jr. Alda Sumbingco Ross Valentin, M.D. PHOTO STUDIO DBPI-MultiMedia Services DBPI-MMS PHOTOGRAPHER Raymond S. Mamaril PRODUCTION COORDINATOR Early Macabales CIRCULATION Don Bosco Press, Inc. PRODUCT SPECIALIST Jino Feliciano HAIR & MAKEUP ARTIST Paulo Gabor LEGAL COUNSEL Sapalo Velez Bundang & Bulilan Law Offices PRINTER

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STUDENT’S DAILY GUIDE “More than just a homeworkjournal! It’s a STUDENT’S DAILY GUIDE to excellence!”

WHAT TO WRITE IN THE DAILY GUIDE? Student’s Homework Teacher’s Remarks Monthly Planner

THE STUDENT’S DAILY GUIDE is an integral LINK among the students, the school, and the home. It is very important in guiding the student’s over-all academic and non-academic development and progress. It provides an effective way to properly safe keep information about the student’s activities and behavior. It is, therefore, necessary that students, as well as teachers and parents, clearly understand how important the Daily Guide is and how to use it together. It has taken into careful consideration the holistic development of students and has integrated useful tools and features for daily use. It should be the student’s constant companion.

Student’s Excuse Slips Student’s Permission to Be Excused from Class Student’s Tardiness Letters to Parents

It contains special features such as the Special Reflections Sections, where students are provided with pages meant for month-end and year-end use for reflections; Progress Monitoring Sections, where students can record and monitor their test and quiz results weekly before the term ends, and a loose sticker page, which is used to encourage, acknowledge, and remind students in memorable and playful ways.

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frameable

THE CHRISTMAS ALPHABET BY FR. BERNARD P. NOLASCO, SDB

hange bad habits to good att itudes.

Allow this ‘Christmas Alphabet’ to help you and everyone else reach the core of this happy season.

ty some of your and over to chari need or use. r e g n lo o n u o y stuff ead and reflect on the Gospel Readings from December 16 to 25. nclude in your daily prayers the people you need to forgive or understand.

lity time pend great qua y. with your famil hank people who have shared blessings with you. eet Jesus in yourself as well as in other people. ttend all the Simbang Gabi Masses and offer a special intention at every Mass. her ay only good things about ot ile. people—and do so with a sm

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

Parents’ Corner PROTECTING

A parent’s guide to keeping your teen or tween safe at peer shindigs this holiday season.

Y T AR On!

BY STEPHANIE MAYO

IN 2009, AN ATENEAN STUDENT was senselessly beaten by boys at an open party. The mother wrote a letter afterwards, which Naomi LardizabalDado included in a post on her blog site “Touched by an Angel,” entitled “Parents of Teens: Beware of the Open Party & the Marcel Piezas Incident.” In her letter, the mother described how an open party—one where anyone can go even without an invitation—was organized by students and booked in her village clubhouse. At this event, the venue meant for only 300 people became packed with up to 800 people, with many forced to spill over to the parking area. She continued: “That night, a nasty brawl occurred right outside the venue, and the security incident report outlined the destruction caused to the clubhouse facilities, the sight of inebriated teenagers holding bottles of liquor roaming the streets, and the discovery of used condoms on the park grounds and alleys the following day... We were on an out of town trip when all these happened and I could only imagine the chaos that went on.” The letter went on to discuss a sickening incident that happened to her son, Marcel Piezas, who was beaten and ended up with a laceration and multiple hematomas. December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

According to HealthyChildren. org, allowing alcohol in a teen party is misguided because alcohol and other drugs can impair judgment. Unfortunately, we cannot really prevent our kids from attending parties, especially this holiday season when they are sure to get lots of invites, so it’s important that we lay down strict rules, including the following:

Get the party address and phone number. “I trust my kids,” Angelica Rodriguez, 57, a housewife and a mother of two teens, Josh, 15, and Alexandra, 13, says. “But as a mother, I worry about them a lot, especially when they attend parties. Who knows what can happen when it comes to peer pressure?” That’s why, she says, when her kids ask permission from her, the first thing she asks for is the phone number of the parents of the party host. She then calls them up to get more details about the occasion and to request that she be informed of any changes to the plan.

Draw the line on alcohol and drugs. Lardizabal-Dado, in the same blog post, confesses her fears as a mom. “It’s been more than 5 years since my girls left high school. It was a nightmare for us every time Lauren would ask permission to go ‘clubbing’ with her high school classmates,” she says. “We feared that they would be offered ecstasy or some dangerous drugs. No matter how responsible we believe our teenagers are, once they are in the company of peers, one can never tell what may happen, especially in parties with flowing booze, raging hormones and minimal adult supervision.”

According to HealthyChildren. org, allowing alcohol in a teen party is misguided because alcohol and other drugs can impair judgment: “Teens are more likely to have sex, be involved in a violent incident, or suffer an injury after using drugs or alcohol. All too frequently teens die from violence, unintentional injuries, or overdoses related to alcohol and other drugs.” “Alcohol affects teens differently than adults,” it adds. “For example, compared with adults, teens are more likely to remain awake, to wander about, or to drive a car while having a much greater degree of mental impairment.”

Make sure the party is supervised. “Be empowered and know what happens inside the party so safety measures can be suggested to party organizers,” says Lardizabal-Dado. “Parties involving high school teens need to have adult supervision from at least one responsible parent. One cannot be too lenient.” “Kids nowadays are more exposed to dangerous stuff,” says Ellaine Teleg, a business owner and mother to Jerrica, 17. “My biggest worries are alcohol, drugs, and inappropriate contact with the opposite sex. So

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

one thing I make sure is to ask if there will be adults around at the party, so at least someone will check on the kids now and then and make sure nothing suspicious is going on.”

Agree on a curfew and offer assistance. Set a reasonable curfew for your teen and know how your child will get to the party and back home. If it is a Christmas or a New Year’s party and the night is expected to last longer, you can allow him or her to stay longer and have fun, but make sure on an agreed time when your youngster should go home with a friend, or when you will pick him or her up yourself. Also, set a plan in case your teen suddenly needs or wants to come home early. Raul Galang, 53, who works in customer service and has two kids ages 21 and 15, says he doesn’t allow them to go by themselves to the

venue. “I take them there and pick them up. Call me if you need me is what I usually tell them before they go.” For Angelica, three hours at a party is too long for her kids, both still minors, especially if the party will be held in the evening. “So I set a time limit... I tell them that I will pick them up at this time, and there should be no excuses.” Ellaine says she and her daughter agree on a curfew and on the consequences of breaking their deal. “I make sure the curfew is reasonable— that Jerrica can still enjoy the party, have enough time to socialize, but be back home at a reasonable time as well.”

Befriend your teen’s friends and obtain their contact numbers. “I have the numbers of my teens’ closest friends,” says Angelica. “In fact, I am friends with them on Facebook. It’s my safety backup in case I cannot reach my kids.” Raul agrees: “I have also made sure that I know their friends and their parents by inviting them to my place as well.”

NURTURE TRUST AND TALK More than setting down rules for your children, what’s more important is to strengthen your relationship with them. Building trust, encouraging open and honest communication and, most of all, instilling strong moral values will keep your teen safe in any situation. This is crucial, as your teen will not always be in your sight. Being too strict and overprotective will not do any good—in fact, it will have dangerous consequences, as it will encourage your teen to lie to you, to rebel against you, or to keep his or her life a secret from you. Instead, just make sure to keep the communication line open. Hold regular talks, which should include discussions about the dangers of alcohol, drugs, and unlawful or immoral actions. An open, loving relationship with your children will encourage them to take to heart your advice and guidance, which will help keep them safe wherever they are. For Raul, there is one more thing he does to keep his children out of harm’s way—he entrusts them to God. “When they go out to party, I pray that whatever values I have instilled in them stay with them and hopefully these values will let them make the correct decisions.” FM

Building trust, encouraging open and honest communication and, most of all, instilling strong moral values will keep your teen safe in any situation.

Playing Host If it’s your child who’ll be hosting a home party, keep these tips in mind. Restrict the number of guests. A large crowd is unmanageable, so agree on a reasonable number of guests. Do not allow an open party or gate-crashers. If inviting people though Facebook Event, keep the page closed or secret. Or send out written invites with an RSVP. Set party rules. These should include policies such as no tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs; lights are left on at all times; certain rooms of the house are off-limits; set a reasonable time for the party to end; and keep music at a reasonable volume for the neighbors’ sake. Stay close by. Be sure you will be around during the party, or you can ask other parents to come along to help you. Choose an area in the house where you can see discreetly what is going on. Guests who leave should not return. It’s possible that those who are allowed to leave will drink alcohol or use drugs outside then come back to the party inebriated or high. Encourage a well-planned program. Make sure there are plenty of good food and non-alcoholic beverages to go around. Games are also crucial to safe fun at your teenager’s party. This will help enlighten kids that fun is not about getting wasted.

December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

The Yuletide is our yearly reminder of the importance of staying childlike in our faith in God and His promise of eternal life.

Christ mas is for

CHILDREN BY ERLINDA ESGUERRA THE SEASON OF CHRISTMAS is so wonderfully unique that every Christian heart starts to beat faster and happier, anticipating that something great is about to happen. Truly it is the best time of the year. It is the time when we prime our children to expect good from this world, and even parents and adults find themselves revisiting their childhood. Indeed, children and Christmas seem to always go together. When I go Christmas shopping, I remember Christmases past, and the simple but much loved gifts I got from my Mama. Even now that I am a Lola, I still find myself lingering at the kitchen toys department, recalling how I used to love those tiny dinnerware, pots and pans, refrigerators, and ovens. I have to remind myself every time that I’m not the one who will be playing with those gifts! My Little Pony na ngayon, Lola. To be a child again—what’s wrong with that? Jesus loved little children and had a special place in His heart for them. He put them on a pedestal to be emulated by grownups. In His own words, He said, “Let the children come to me, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to them. If you do not become like little children, you cannot see the kingdom of heaven.” These words are not easy to understand. For adults like us who consider ourselves wise and experienced, to be told by Jesus to become like children again is a great big paradigm shift. As I grapple with His words, I realize that children’s qualities are a mixed bag. Children are joyful, guileless, and innocent, but they can also be disobedient, selfish, 10

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

Let us not exclude Him from our lives, but thank Him for everything, even for our next breath.

Parents’ Corner celebrating and stubborn. What did Jesus mean? I would assume the Lord wanted us to distill the essential goodness that makes a child a child and ask for His grace to grow in those qualities. What are these?

QUALITIES OF A CHILD The first one is a total dependence on God. When my daughter Cristina had her first daughter here in the U.S., we would take turns carrying baby Emily and feeding her. When we left her in her crib, Emily would be quiet for a while, but she would later cry and want to be carried and fed. As I looked at her in my arms one time, I realized what a helpless little creature she was—utterly dependent on her Mommy and Daddy and the people around her for her very existence. So it is with us. In God we live and move and have our being. His mercy and loving kindness protects us each day. It is easy to forget that He’s here because we are no longer infants and we can do things for ourselves. Yet He never stopped being a loving, solicitous Father to us. When we meet crises in our lives we are reminded again of our utter dependence on Him. Let us not exclude Him from our lives, but thank Him for everything, even for our next breath. Like little Emily surrounded by people who love her, we are surrounded by a loving Father who spared not even His Son for us and who hears every prayer, big or small. The second one is trusting in His word. Emily is now a sweet 3-year-old whom Lolo and Lola (that’s me) visit every week. During our last visit, I brought some chocolates (Choc-Nut, to be exact) and she loved them. After finishing one, she would ask for another and another, saying, “Lola, can I have more cake?” “Oh, the Choc-Nut?” I said, giving her more until the pack was almost half-empty. By this time, I was bewildered as to why she kept saying cake when she knew what a cake looked like. Later on, the answer came to me: “Remember last week when you said bye-bye to Emily? She said she loves cakes and you promised to bring her one on your next visit. She believed in your word, so

As children of God, we please Him when we have faith in His word.

and have it to the full,” then it’s a done deal. The third quality of a child is a humble, teachable attitude. Children are always excited to learn new things. My late mother Priscilla was an avid student of life. At 75 she studied painting and was able to produce beautiful paintings of flowers and nature. She always had that childlike quality of wanting to learn something new. She continued to be interested in the world even as her body was being weakened by illness. She was forever the child, listening to everyone with sincerity and humility. When Jesus was asked who would be greatest in heaven, He answered, “If anyone wants to become great, He should humble himself like a little child.” I have met some very famous people who have remained humble and childlike in spite of their many accomplishments. Sometimes it is hard to share the word of God with people who are so intellectually developed. Some, because of too much knowledge, have made themselves unteachable in the ways of God, even questioning His very existence. As Christians, let us empty ourselves when we approach God’s throne,

Let us approach God’s throne knowing that there is so much we still need to learn and being willing to be taught by Him. she assumed you brought her a cake, however it looked, because you never lie to her.” Right then I realized that children hang on to the words we say. I had forgotten my promise but Emily did not. As children of God, we please Him when we have faith in His word. Our earthly parents may forget their promises, but God does not forget His. His words are everlasting and our sure foundation. Like little Emily, let’s be stubborn in our belief that God keeps His word even if we have no proof to show yet. If Jesus says, “I came that you might have life,

knowing that there is so much we still need to learn and being willing to be taught by Him. To spend hours each day listening to and learning from the Lord is not a waste of time. When we do this, we tap into the very life of Jesus and become a spring of living water that blesses everyone around us. Truly, the Lord said it well, “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 8:3) Let our childlike traits shine forth not only during Christmastime but every day of the year. FM

December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

BY ROSS VALENTIN, M.D. OUR LIVER PLAYS A MAJOR ROLE in ensuring that our body works properly. It helps our body digest food, produce and store energy, and control levels of fats, amino acids, and glucose in the blood. It also makes the enzymes and proteins that are important for blood clotting and tissue repair, regulates hormones, fights infection, metabolizes drugs and neutralize toxins, and stores iron, vitamins, and other essential chemicals. With all the vital tasks the liver performs, you know it’s imperative to take good care of this organ and keep it healthy. The most common disease of the liver is hepatitis, a condition that causes the liver to become inflamed. When not properly treated, hepatitis can lead to liver damage, liver failure, liver cancer, and even death. Hepatitis can arise from many causes, including infectious, metabolic, ischemic, autoimmune, and genetic ones. Viral hepatitis—which is hepatitis induced by infectious viruses—is the most common worldwide. 12

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), 400 million worldwide live with hepatitis, and six million to 10 million people are newly infected annually.

FIVE KINDS OF HEPATITIS In the Philippines, viral hepatitis is a serious health problem. A study done in 2003 showed that an estimated 7.3 million adult Filipinos (16.7% of the adult population) were infected with the hepatitis B virus, making the Philippines hyperendemic— or having a high prevalence rate—for hepatitis B, particularly among the 20 to 39 age group. Viral hepatitis is caused by five different viruses: hepatitis A, B, C, D, and E. HEPATITIS A AND E These are foodand water-borne diseases that are more common in developing countries like ours. These two types of hepatitis virus are transmitted when a person ingests food and water contaminated with the feces of an infected person.

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

Here’s how to keep your family protected against the easily acquired and dangerous condition called hepatitis.

Parentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Corner PREVENTING You can catch hepatitis E mainly by drinking contaminated water and eating undercooked meat or meat products that came from infected animals. The disease may also be passed by a pregnant woman to her fetus and by transfusion of infected blood. Both hepatitis A and E are selflimiting illnesses that rarely require hospitalization and do not progress to chronic, or lifelong, hepatitis infection. Almost everyone, except some people, notably the elderly and those who have a pre-existing liver disease like chronic hepatitis C, recovers fully from hepatitis A and acquires lifelong immunity from the disease. It is important that paracetamol, acetaminophen, medications against vomiting, and unnecessary medicines not be given to a patient recovering from the illness. HEPATITIS B, C, AND D The viruses responsible for these illnessesÂ are passed through infected blood and body fluids and unscreened blood transfusion. The infection may also be passed by the mother to her fetus. Although viral particles have been found in saliva, breast milk, and utensils, activities like kissing, breastfeeding, and sharing of utensils do not lead to transmission unless these fluids enter through open sores or cuts. Hepatitis B, C, and D viruses can remain in the body and cause lifelong infection (chronic hepatitis), resulting in complications like liver cirrhosis (a chronic disease of the liver marked by degeneration of cells, inflammation, and fibrous thickening of tissue) and liver cancer. With hepatitis B, the younger the person is upon infection, the higher the risk for developing chronic hepatitis B infection. In the Philippines and worldwide, most people with chronic hepatitis B acquire the infection at birth or during early childhood.

Get vaccinated. Your doctor can tell you which ones you need and when you should receive them. In adults, hepatitis B infection is most commonly self-limiting. About 90% to 95% of healthy patients with hepatitis B infection recover with no long-term effects. Less than 5% progress to chronic state, and 20% to 30% of those chronically infected develop cirrhosis, liver cancer, or both. Acute hepatitis C virus (HCV) infection is usually asymptomatic, and is only very rarely associated with a lifethreatening disease. According to the WHO, about 15% to 45% of infected persons spontaneously clear the virus within six months of infection without any treatment. Most cases of hepatitis C (55% to 85%) will lead to chronic infection. Of those with chronic HCV infection, the risk of cirrhosis of the liver is between 15% and 30% within 20 years. New antiviral drugs can cure over 90% of people with hepatitis C within three to six months. The hepatitis D virus (HDV) requires

the hepatitis B virus (HBV) for it to replicate. Thus hepatitis D infection cannot take place without the hepatitis B virus, and vaccination against HBV prevents HDV coinfection. Treating hepatitis B and C can prevent life-threatening illnesses such as cirrhosis and liver cancer.

PREVENTING HEPATITIS Since hepatitis cases are widespread and on the rise in our country, there is an urgent need to prevent the disease from afflicting more people. The good news is that viral hepatitis is preventable. The following can help reduce your chances of infection:

1. Get tested. Most people with hepatitis do not know they are infected because of lack of awareness and poor access to hepatitis tests. Testing or screening is done to detect infection as early as possible. Early detection allows for early treatment, stops the disease from progressing, and prevents the spread of the virus. Talk to your doctor about what tests you need.

2. Get vaccinated. Vaccines for Hepatitis A and B are currently available. Your doctor can tell you which ones you need and when you should receive them. Hepatitis A vaccine is recommended for all children beginning

December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

Parents’ Corner PREVENTING at age one, as well as for those who have not been previously immunized and are at high risk for contracting the disease, including travelers to countries where the virus is endemic, users of recreational drugs, men who have sex with men, and people with chronic liver disease. Here in the Philippines, Republic Act No. 10152 (“An Act Providing for Mandatory Basic Immunization Services for Infants and Children”) provides for the mandatory and free hepatitis B vaccination of all infants. The Department of Health’s Maternal, Newborn, Child Health and Nutrition Package includes hepatitis B immunization. Because hepatitis B infection is widespread in our country, universal vaccination is mandated. As for hepatitis C and D, there are still no vaccines against them, but hepatitis C infection is now treatable with new anti-viral drugs. You can steer clear of hepatitis C by avoiding contact with infected blood and body fluids. Since the hepatitis D virus needs the hepatitis B virus to survive, getting the hepatitis B vaccine will already protect you from hepatitis D infection. However, if you are already infected with hepatitis B, getting the hepatitis B vaccine will not protect against hepatitis D. A hepatitis E vaccine was licensed in China in 2011, but is not yet available in other countries.

3. Adopt a healthy and preventive behavior and lifestyle. The best way to prevent hepatitis A and E infection is to strictly observe proper sanitation and food and water safety practices. These include the following: ɷ Practice regular hand-washing with safe water especially after using the toilet, changing diapers, and before handling food. 14

Practice regular handwashing with safe water especially after using the toilet, changing diapers, and before handling food. ɷ Avoid consuming water or ice if unsure of its purity. ɷ Ensure adequate supply of safe drinking water. ɷ Adopt safe food practices and dispose of your sewage and waste properly. ɷ Avoid drinking from the tap, adding ice cubes, and eating raw fruits and vegetables if you are traveling through endemic areas. Use factory-sealed bottled water to brush your teeth and don’t drink the water when swimming or taking a shower. ɷ In the absence of safe water, use hand sanitizers. ɷ Immunize with hepatitis A vaccine those who have not been immunized and are at high risk for contracting it. To safeguard yourself against hepatitis B and D, get hepatitis B vaccination. Other measures for hepatitis B, C and D prevention: ɷ Don’t share or re-use needles or other equipment that was used to inject cosmetic substances, steroids, or drugs. ɷ Don’t share or use other people’s personal items such as toothbrushes, nail clippers, razors, and glucose monitors. ɷ Don’t get tattoos or body piercings from an unlicensed facility or in an informal setting. ɷ Practice safe sex. ɷ Don’t share drug needles or other drug equipment (such as straws for snorting drugs). ɷ Clean blood spills with a solution containing one-part household bleach to nine-parts water. FM

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

Don’t share or use other people’s personal items such as toothbrushes, nail clippers, razors, and glucose monitors.

Parents’ Corner PARENTING

By ANNABELLIE GRUENBERG

Learn how to shield your kids from the seduction of online pornography. THERE IS AN ALARMING FORM OF ADDICTION trending among the youth that we parents need to equip ourselves to fight off effectively—cyber pornography. Cyber pornography is defined as “the act of using cyberspace to create, display, distribute, import, or publish pornography or obscene materials.” There are physiological and psychological reasons why the youth can form a keen interest in—even develop an addiction to—online porn. During puberty children become aware of their bodily changes, and by adolescence, they begin to experience attraction to the opposite sex as part of the maturation of their reproductive systems. If exposed too soon to the

When we keep buying our kids gadgets or upgrading them just because they ask us to, then we are a conduit for whatever and however they plan to use them. December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

With their easy access to the cyber world, tweens and teens may try to seek answers to their confusion and satisfy their curiosity by going online, then ensuring all traces of their secret activities are erased. concept of sex and sexuality—they hear about it from peers or see sexual or sensual images in various forms of media including billboards and MTVs— they can acquire an early and distorted view of sex. Unfortunately, with their easy access to the cyber world, tweens and teens may try to seek answers to their confusion and satisfy their curiosity by going online, then ensuring all traces of their secret activities are erased. Checking out one adult site can lead to exploring the next and so on. In spite of the mixed feelings of curiosity and shame, they continue to indulge in it for the information, virtual experience, and even the perceived definition of love and its expression that these sites offer. Later on they get a sense of perverted empowerment as they start fantasizing about themselves and their relationships. When these distorted images become their source of reality, it may lead to disastrous love relationships in real life.

At the same time, we need to keep open communication lines so they feel secure about asking us anything without fear or shame. We need to be interested in what they are interested in; this is also a way to establish “friendship” with our young ones. If a teen is caught engaging in whatever way in cyber porn, the worst thing we can do is to shame and scold. We need to show understanding for what the child is going through and demonstrate our interest in having a discussion about sex, love, and relationships.

WHAT CAN THE PARENTS DO? It is important that we educate ourselves about the topic of sexuality and how to discuss it with our children in a hygienic way. We also have to keep abreast of the latest computer applications, programs, and sites that our kids can easily access or obtain. 16

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

Without being too preachy, we have to inform the youngster of the negative effects of pornography. If the topic is too uncomfortable for you, one option is to request the help of older relatives or family members who can handle a conversation about pornography with openness, understanding, and patience. Sharing a little of our own experiences and the practical lessons we have learned will help put the child at ease. It is essential that we do not do all the talking, but give the youngster the chance to talk as we listen in earnest. The key is to answer only the questions that the child raises and encourage (not pressure or push) pursuit of the topic. We need not give information not asked for—this will help us gauge up to what point the child is ready to know. And because the sexual act is connected to procreation, focus on the word creation and encourage regular creative work. Sitting in front of the computer or using tablets or mobile phones is not creative or physical work. To ensure our young are kept busy and moving, steep children as early as 3 years old in age-appropriate artistic activities like crafts. As for teens, because sexual urges are pent-up energy that needs diversion and release, it’s good to give them meaningful activities that involve whole-body movement, like gardening, sports, building furniture.

A Circle of Cooperation

FORBI

DDEN

N E D ID

Parents, teachers, guidance counselors, and spiritual advisers must collaborate on raising their awareness of cyber pornography and improving their ability to address related issues, including porn addiction, together. Holding meetings, workshops, and study groups where parents and members of the faculty and school administration can all participate and exchange ideas is an excellent way to achieve this.

FORB FORBIDDE

SETTING BOUNDARIES Beside these, we need to set boundaries and limitations on gadget use. Providing devices to preschool and grade-school children is like giving them a sword to play with. At 16 years old and above would be the proper time to give gadgets, but with accompanying rules. Establish “safety nets” like not giving sophisticated phones with many options, installing protective filter systems, and applying safety settings. We must monitor even computer games and videos. There are games that send out subliminal messages and images. MTVs are also full of innuendoes and provocative words. And most important of all, we must let our children see how we ourselves

use social media and gadgets. If we misuse or abuse gadgets, if we waste our time on video games, if we watch porn, they will likely do the same thing. When we keep buying our kids gadgets or upgrading them just because they ask us to, then we are a conduit for whatever and however they plan to use them. To develop healthy emotional ties, our children need to be in real space, where they can see genuine and loving interactions unfolding, not the manufactured or exaggerated relationships portrayed online. When they are witness to warm, interpersonal communication in the real world, this will be, more or else, their guide to the relationships they themselves will be building later on. FM

As for teens, because sexual urges are pent-energy that needs diversion and release, it’s good to give them meaningful activities that involve whole-body movement, like gardening, sports, building furniture. December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

Insights and friendships spring from a class trip to meet the people behind bars. BY ALDA SUMBINGCO THE EXTRAORDINARY JUBILEE YEAR OF MERCY inspired the Pastoral Team to bring our Grade 11 students to a penal institution and have them interact with the inmates as part of their Social Action Program. After all, Evangelii Gaudium urges us to “boldly take the initiative, go out to others, seek those who have fallen away, stand at the crossroads and welcome the outcast” (24). With this in mind, we sought the help of the Philippine Jesuit Prison Service (PJPS) to assist us in visiting the New Bilibid Prison (NBP) Medium Security Camp in Muntinlupa City. The PJPS facilitated our entry and assigned a partner inmate from the educational sector of the bilibid to each of the seven

sections of our Grade 11 class. The night before our first visit, anxieties and fears lingered in my mind. I was uncertain of the experiences that we would encounter inside and how everything would turn out. But I recalled noticing during the ocular visit the image of the Blessed Mother under the title of Mary Help of Christians standing prominently in the park, and learning that the chapel is named after her. This recollection drove away my anxieties; I knew She would protect and guide us. Each of the seven visits started with the routine signing of the logbook and waiver, several inspections, a body frisk, the surrender of IDs, and stamping for the boys. At the inner gate waiting for the students to enter were the partner

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

inmates, lined up and ready to escort us into the building. With every visit, I was astounded by how welcoming and caring the inmates were. They prepared beautiful presentations, gave life testimonies, and told heartbreaking stories. Our Bosconians, on the other hand, prepared some presentations too, and excitedly engaged in one-on-one interactions with the inmates, eating, sharing, and even crying or laughing with them. We ended every visit by attending Mass together. It was in the Eucharistic Celebration that we saw the inmates’ love and reverence for God, their hunger to listen to the Word and be fed with the Bread of Life.

Parents’ Corner CONNECTING

It was in the Eucharistic Celebration that we saw the inmates’ love and reverence for God, their hunger to listen to the Word and be fed with the Bread of Life. PRISONERS WITHOUT BARS It wasn’t easy for me to hear the prisoners call themselves “basura ng lipunan (dregs of society),” to listen to their sad stories, to feel their sighs and longing to be visited by their families and be with their loved ones. For a mother like me, the most difficult part was seeing the young inmates. At that moment, I remembered Don Bosco accompanying Don Cafasso in his visits to the prison, and on seeing the condition of the youth confined in these places, Don Bosco thought to himself that these boys were not bad at all. He resolved to devote his life to the rescue of these unfortunate outcasts. But it was also wonderful to see the inmates happy and content despite the difficult life inside NBP. They continued to trust and have faith in God. Every visit ended with a rendition of the prisoners’ own composition entitled “Bilangguang Walang Rehas,” a song that compares the life of an inmate to that of a free person. This presentation synthesized our brief interaction with them and left everyone astonished. This is because the song says that whether a person is free or not, the reality is, “tao’y bilanggo kung siya’y ganid sa yaman, siya

ay bilanggo kung siya’y hayok sa laman, hindi siya malaya kung ang sarili ang laging una… ang taong makasarili, sariling bilanggo siya (A person is a prisoner who covets riches, a person is a prisoner who craves flesh, a person is not free who puts his or her own interests first… the selfish person has made himself or herself a prisoner).” Finally, I will never forget those times when we had to say goodbye to them. My tears fell, tears of joy for the wonderful encounter mixed with tears of sadness for not being able to do much for them. We may never be like Don Bosco who tirelessly worked for the outcasts. But our short visits and interactions with the inmates were our way of making them feel how much God loves them. The food that we shared and the simple gifts that we gave were nothing compared to the lessons and the beautiful experience that the inmates shared with us. Truly, even the outcasts have lessons to teach us. I can now say that it was not by chance that we came to plan this program. The intercession of Mary Help of Christians and St. John Bosco made all these possible. Thank you, Mama Mary. Thank you, Don Bosco, for making us instruments of God’s loving mercy. We, too, were blessed to have encountered the inmates, for through them, we experienced Jesus, the face of God’s mercy. FM

The food that we shared and the simple gifts that we gave were nothing compared to the lessons and the beautiful experience that the inmates shared with us.

Alda Sumbingco coordinates the Social Action Program activities of Don Bosco Technical Institute-Makati. She has been with the Institute for over two decades.

December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

Four couples share their secrets for keeping the romance alive even after the kids have come.

BY RUTH MANIMTIM-FLORESCA

THIS 2016 IS THE 23RD YEAR of my marriage. Despite our many ups and downs over the years, my husband and I remain the best of friends, still enjoying doing things and having good times together as well as with our four children. Marriage and parenting have their challenges but from personal experience, I know these hardships can be overcome as long as couples are dedicated to making their relationship work. Here, we share the stories of four couples whose love for each other has endured the test of time—and the coming of children!

ANSWERED PRAYERS Twins Gabbi and Giuli were born to couple Dee and Greg Sigua six years ago after nine long years of waiting and prayers. Dee says the first year of caring for their babies was a trying period of exhaustion and lack of sleep. “Our time for each other was spent taking care of the kids. There were no more dates or movie nights,” she recalls. “We accepted the challenges wholeheartedly because we really wanted to have kids.” Dee says their kids strengthened their bond as a couple. “We were happy when there was just the two of us but we became happier when we had the girls.” Although the twins are now going to school, Dee says there are still no 20

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

date nights for her and Greg. “We’re still not comfortable leaving them behind with a sitter. But we do get to watch movies again. Only, we have two little chaperones in tow and we only watch animated films,” she humorously shares. Thankfully, the couple now gets to have lunch dates while the girls are in school. As to the romance part, nothing has changed. “We still hold hands while walking and send text messages to update each other on what we’re currently doing, or just to say ‘I miss you’.” Every morning, Greg makes his wife breakfast, and when he comes home from work, never forgets to bring her and the kids pasalubong. “He still spoils me and calls when he has free time at the office just to say ‘Hi’ and to check if I’d already eaten lunch.” Many of the Siguas’ activities are done as a family. “We especially love road trips because hubby and I get to exchange stories while the kids are in their car seats in the back,” confides Dee. “Sometimes, we just watch TV together or, when I’m doing something in the kitchen, he’ll hang around to chat.” For Greg and Dee, spending quality time with one’s spouse is just a matter of keeping it simple. “Just make the most of what you have and don’t make too many demands. Whenever you have a chance, give your spouse a big hug.” Dee likewise reminds fellow

Parents’ Corner RELATING

Greg and Dee Sigua with adorable twins Gabby and Giuli

couples: “Always pray together—to ask for guidance and to thank God for everything. Say ‘I love you’ often. Be appreciative and say ‘thank you’. Learn to say ‘sorry’ and accept your mistakes. Always find time to talk to each other.”

JUST LIKE DANCING Jojo and Marge Aberásturi, parents to Isabel Patricia (16), Beatrice Teresa (13), and Jose Antonio Domingo (11), celebrated their 17th wedding anniversary a few months ago, but still feel like they’re on their honeymoon. “When we first became parents, we were practically together all the

Always pray together— to ask for guidance and to thank God for everything. time because we were officemates,” recalls Marge. “But being together did not equate to spending time alone as a couple. We’d go out for groceries, eat out with our daughter and the nanny, go to the doctor’s clinic as a family, or simply stay home doing house chores and taking care of the baby.” The two didn’t mind though. “Dates to us were sitting side by side, or lying down in bed on our tummies, each with a book. When our firstborn came, we still read together, but with the baby between us,” says Marge. At present, the Aberásturis are entrepreneurs and also work as virtual

She urges saying I love you to each other several times a day, never letting finances become an issue, discussing concerns, and talking of just about anything.

Marge and Jojo Aberásturi, and their kids Isabel, Beatrice, and Jose Antonio

assistants. “We’re still officemates but at home. So we still spend time together all day, every day. We have our respective office spaces and ‘drop by’ once in a while,” reveals Marge. As for date nights, “hubby would choose a movie to watch on the Internet and I’d sit beside him while I crochet. If the movie interested me, I’d put down my project and watch with him. Sometimes, it’s a marathon of my favorite TV series and he sits with me, pretending to watch.” On occasions when her mother or sister can stay behind with the kids, Marge and Jojo take the opportunity to go out. “But then, we’d be eating out and all we could think of would be how the kids would love this or that dish,” says Marge. For the couple, enjoying parenting, like enjoying life, is all about learning to dance and sway to its demands. “Don’t stress over the little things. Just take advantage of whatever time you can spend together,” advises Marge. If a couple really want to go on a date, they can get a sitter for the night. “But going out by yourselves should not be a requisite for your marriage to stay strong and for romance to stay alive,” she insists. To maintain a healthy relationship, she urges saying “I love you” to each other several times a day, never letting

Walk, hold hands, talk, and kiss and hug every day. I love it when my husband kisses me on the forehead. It is so reassuring. finances become an issue, discussing concerns, and talking of just about anything. “We leave the radio off on long drives so we get to talk instead ... and yes, we go with the kids. Most importantly, we put God at the center of our marriage.” With a relationship that was born out of friendship, husband and wife continue to act like best buddies. “We hold hands in our sleep,” says Marge. “He prepares my coffee every single morning and I massage his hands while we watch TV. Those may be simple little things, but they already mean the world to us.”

CLOSING THE MILES It has been 18 years since Joseph Constantine and Antonieta “Niet” Arceo tied the knot. “Since we were both working while the kids kept coming, it was really hard to find moments just for each other. Most of our time was focused on our little ones,” confides Niet. When their four children were younger, the couple, whose jobs require a lot of traveling, agreed not to be out on business trips at the same time so that one parent could come home every day and be with the kids. “However, we made sure to allot Saturdays and Sundays for the family. Since we don’t have a maid, doing household chores has become a form of bonding, too. Hubby and I actually enjoy doing the laundry together during weekends,” says Niet.

Dates back then meant strolling around the neighborhood at night, just talking and buying candies or chocolates from random stores. “Those were already precious moments,” says Niet. “Sometimes, after office hours, we’d meet to eat snacks at food stalls at the MRT station or jeep terminal. Okay na sa amin ‘yun. If we had extra budget and there was a special occasion, we’d have coffee together at a coffee shop.” In 2015, Joseph was granted a scholarship for further studies in Australia for a year and a half. “This is the first time we’ve been apart for such a long time. Now, I miss our walking dates around the neighborhood, joining fun runs together, or talking late at night when everybody else was asleep,” shares Niet. She admits that being both mom and dad to Paolo Miguel (21), Patrick Renz (18), Julliene Alex (16), and Leanne Samantha (10) while her husband is away is a big challenge. Still, husband and wife are bent on staying in constant touch despite the distance. Says Niet, “A day won’t be complete without communicating through the internet. We always send ‘good morning’ messages to each other. When I travel for work, I let him know where I’ll be especially if the area may not have a strong Wi-Fi signal.” “During school breaks, I encourage him to explore Australia while he’s there and he sends us photos of where

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

Joseph and Niet have 4 kid s (L-R): Patrick, Paolo, Julliene, and Sam)

he’s been,” says Niet, who in turn sends Joseph photos of the things she and the kids did. When work opportunity allowed Niet to travel to Australia a few months after her husband left, the couple was able to spend a week together and explored various places in Melbourne. For couples like them who have to live apart briefly, Niet recommends keeping the communication lines open. “It helps if you have established routines. For us, having simple ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ rituals is really very important and comforting.” She also suggests discovering passions you can share with your spouse. “We both love to run, and since hubby and the boys are into basketball, I have also learned to love the sport,” says Niet. She advises couples to set aside time for each other. “Walk, hold hands, talk, and kiss and hug every day. I love it when my husband kisses me on the forehead. It is so reassuring.”

MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY SITUATION Al and Vanessa “Vanni” Librero have been married for four years now and have a 2-1/2-year-old son, Aidan. Vanni recollects that despite preparing for

Parents’ Corner RELATING

Choose to love even when hard times come or when fatigue from taking care of the kids and the house sets in.

Solo child Aidan gets all the love from dad Al and mom Vann Librero.

pregnancy and childbirth, they felt clueless about raising a child when the baby finally arrived. “We were so tired in the first few months and our energy was mostly spent on taking care of our son. We don’t have a helper so we do the house chores ourselves,” says Vanni. “We practice attachment parenting and co-sleep with our little boy. Since I am still breastfeeding, there is hardly

a moment when Aidan and I were separated. So having ‘alone time’ as a couple was really challenging. In fact, since we had Aidan, we still haven’t had a real ‘date’ to this day.” The couple just tries to make the most of their situation. “Dates are always ‘table for two plus one’ engagements and we rather enjoy it even with Aidan in tow.” Since they got married in their thirties, Al and Vanni recognize that this is a special season in their lives, and strive to enjoy their little boy while they still can. “It helped that we had a year and a half of extended honeymoon period. We were able to make the most of it and enjoyed each other as a couple.” Because Al, who teaches online for UP Open University, is not bound by regular hours and Vanni is a full-time mom, the Libreros are able to spend a lot of time together as a couple and as a family. “Living in a quiet university town also has its perks. There’s no added stress from pollution or long commutes to put a strain on our relationship,” says Vanni. The two do not usually give each other lavish gifts and flowers on special occasions, as they enjoy the simple things more. “Buying groceries or heading for the hardware store is already a date. Going downtown to hunt for good secondhand books or a new brew is always an adventure,” says Vanni. “Also, buying stuff for our son has become our new luho and we both enjoy it very much.” Every morning, the Libreros use their coffee time to chat and reconnect. “We also have a small rule in the house. Whenever one of us leaves… even if it’ll just be five minutes, we have to kiss each other goodbye. That way, we show we’ll miss each other and that we mean it.” Vanni also appreciates how Al makes it a point to travel as a family each year. “Memories of journeying together, like running up four levels of stairs to catch a train, are truly priceless!”

Here are the Libreros’ tips for keeping love strong in the face of parenting concerns.

ʌ Create and maintain a simple couple ritual—sharing a morning cup of coffee, discussing the news over dinner, watching DVDs together—that you can both look forward to.

ʌ Provide one another “breathing space” from time to time to allow each other to recharge.

ʌ Learn to read each other’s love language to minimize misunderstandings.

ʌ Encourage and support each other’s passions, as these can renew your partner’s energy and zest.

ʌ Consult each other before making substantial purchases.

ʌ Choose to love even when hard times come or when fatigue from taking care of the kids and the house sets in.

ʌ Always affirm and appreciate your spouse. It’s the most romantic thing you can ever do! FM

December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

The Gift of Life | SPECIAL SECTION

A new human being is created at the point of fertilization, not implantation, as contraceptive proponents would like people to believe. By Anna Cosio, RN

henever I get into a debate with supporters of abortion and the Reproductive Health (RH) Law, the point of contention is always when human life begins, because as Greg Koukl said, “If the ǡ Ƥ abortion is necessary. But if the unborn ǡ Ƥ abortion is adequate.” Therefore, pro-aborts and the pro-RH law will either have to deny Ƥ the unborn is human,

or admit that they are okay with the murder of innocent human beings inside the mother’s womb. In June 2015, the Supreme Court (SC) issued a temporary restraining order (TRO) prohibiting the Department of Health (DOH) from authorizing the distribution and selling of contraceptives and from procuring, selling, dispensing, and administering contraceptive implants. A separate TRO was issued to stop the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) from “granting any and all pending applications for registration and/or Ƥ including contraceptive drugs and devices.” These TROs were issued following the petition of the Alliance for the Family Foundation Philippines Inc. that

December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

questioned the manner of implementation of the RH Law by ƥ RH Law and the SC judgment (April 8, 2014). During those times, the DOH was keen to distribute contraceptive implants to 600,000 poor women. According to Former Health Secretary Janette Garin, these contraceptives Ƥ ǲ ǳ inhibited ovulation. However, she failed to mention that these contraceptives also had the component Etonogestrel, which not only suppresses ovulation but also prevents the implantation of an already fertilized ovum. This phenomenon is called “embryonic abortion,” and this abortion-inducing mechanism of action by contraceptive implants can actually be found on ǯ ƪ Ǥ This is precisely the reason why many supporters of the RH Law contend that life does not begin at fertilization. They instead argue that life begins at implantation, so that if contraceptive drugs—like implants, pills, IUDs, injectables, or patches—prevent an embryo from implanting itself, they can fool themselves (and others) into thinking that no human life is lost, even though science says otherwise.

According to Embryology—the branch of biology that deals with the study of fertilization and development of embryos and fetuses—life begins at fertilization. Fertilization, or conception, is the moment a sperm from the father enters an egg (ovum) from the mother to form a single cell called a “zygote.” The zygote is the beginning of each of us as a genetically distinct individual, never to be repeated. Medical experts, geneticists, and numerous textbooks on biology, medicine, embryology, and anatomy and physiology all agree on this Ƥ Ǥ During fertilization, a new individual receives 23 chromosomes from each parent or a total of 46 chromosomes: one set of chromosomes from the nucleus of the ovum and a second set from the nucleus of the sperm. These chromosomes help determine the baby’s traits such as eye and hair color, and even personality and intelligence, to some extent. At this point, the gender of the newly formed human is also determined by the sperm, which carries either an X or a Y chromosome. If the egg is fertilized by a sperm that carries a Y chromosome, then the zygote is male, but if the egg is fertilized by a sperm that carries an X chromosome, then the zygote is female.

FERTILIZATION

IMPLANTATION

Pro-aborts and the proRH law will either have to GHQ\ WKH VFLHQWLÀ F IDFW that the unborn is human, or admit that they are okay with the murder of innocent human beings inside the mother’s womb. 26

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

After fertilization, the singlecell zygote divides several times to form a ball of cells as it travels down the fallopian tube toward the uterus. On the sixth or seventh day, the ball of cells, or the embryo, embeds itself to the wall of the uterus in a process called implantation. Rapid growth follows and the embryo’s features begin to take form. At 18 days of conception, the baby’s heart starts beating, and at 21 days, it is already pumping blood with its own blood type through a closed circulatory system. Other organs, such as the brain and spinal cord, also begin to form at three weeks. At four weeks, or at one month, the eyes, ears and respiratory system begin to form. The body begins to take on a C-shaped curvature, and the arms and legs are budding. Five weeks after conception, the baby’s head and face rapidly develop. Tiny nostrils are visible and the arm buds now take on the shape of paddles. At six weeks, brain waves ǡ ƪ ǡ continue to form. By the end of this week, the baby is around half an inch long. At seven weeks, the baby is able to hiccup, ǡ Ƥ Ǥ

The Gift of Life | SPECIAL SECTION

The zygote is the beginning of a genetically distinct individual, never to be repeated. Medical experts, geneticists, and numerous textbooks on biology, medicine, embryology, and anatomy and physiology all agree RQ WKLV VFLHQWLÀ F IDFW On the second month, or his or her last week as an embryo, the baby’s eyelids begin to close to protect the Ǥ Ƥ are webbed and short but continue to grow. The baby’s weight increases by 75% on the ninth week. Fingernails and toenails start to grow and bones begin to solidify on the 10th week. Fingerprints also appear around this time. Eleven weeks after conception, the nose and lips are completely formed and complex facial expressions begin.

GENDER DETECTED

The baby’s sex will become apparent on the third month, as ovarian follicles begin forming for girls and the prostate appears for boys. On the fourth month, the mother can begin to feel the baby’s movements. The baby can already hear at 18 weeks, cry, and respond to sounds at ͖͔ Ƥ ǡ ͖͕ ǡ sleep and wake regularly at 22 weeks. By now the baby might

be about 8 inches long. He or she is able to hear things outside the womb at 24 weeks or on the sixth month, taste at 25 weeks, open the eyes at 26 weeks, and do somersaults on the seventh month. At 29 weeks post-fertilization, the baby’s head is no longer disproportionate to the rest of the body. The eyes can move around in their sockets, and all the rest of the senses are functioning, too. Although his or her lungs are not yet fully formed, the baby already practices breathing at 30 weeks.

AT FULL TERM

On the eighth month,,weight gain begins—about 1/2 pound a week for the next month. At 35 weeks, the Ƥ grip and the organs are ready to function on their own. At 37 weeks, the baby is continuously supplied with antibodies by the placenta to Ƥ Ǥ point, the pregnancy is considered fullterm and birth shall be facilitated if the mother goes into labor. After birth, the baby will continue to grow into a toddler, a preschooler, a school-aged child, an adolescent, an adult, and eventually into old age. This is simply the continuum of life, which all began at fertilization. FM

He or she is able to hear things outside the womb at 24 weeks or on the sixth month, taste at 25 weeks, open the eyes at 26 weeks, and do somersaults on the seventh month.

Anna Cosio is the current president of Filipinos for Life, a pro-life organization. A registered nurse, she works as a social media research analyst and, if her schedule allows it, Ǧ Ǥ ƥ Ǥ Ǥ

December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

Practicing NFP is heeding the call for chastity, mutual respect, and self-discipline within the bounds of marriage. BY STEF PATAG

his may sound surprising, but my husband and I were one of those Catholic couples who got married not knowing about Natural Family Planning (NFP). We planned to have ȋƤ a basketball team and one “extra” for a sub). But by the time our Ƥ ǡ into some materialistic views, and we decided we weren’t going to have any more children until we were, in a word, rich. We were unwilling to use contraception, however, because we’d always ǡ Ƥ ǡ since our bodies were functioning well. By this time, too, we were aware that some sort of natural family planning method was “out there” though we weren’t interested enough to explore it further. We more or less resorted to abstinence, not realizing just

While natural family planning is great, the lessons that NFP encompasses go beyond simply planning a family.

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

The Gift of Life | SPECIAL SECTION how much we were impoverishing and putting a strain on our marriage by depriving ourselves of the marital union. Thanks to God’s grace, and likely our child and our parents’ prayers, we did continue to grow in faith despite these snags and eventually woke up, deciding to have more children regardless of our material wealth, or rather, lack of it.

FIFTH BLESSING

͕͖ ǡ Ƥ ensconced in Church teaching, at the same time somewhat Ƥ ǡ Ǥ seemed a nice round number, and we thought we were done. But fast forward to seven years later and their “demand” for Ƥ Ǥ And then Msgr. Cormac Burke’s Covenanted Happiness hit us squarely between the eyes: we realized that we didn’t actually have a grave reason for avoiding pregnancy. We sought guidance from our parish vicar, who said that the Holy Spirit could be speaking to us through our children. We prayed and listened well, and roughly nine months ǡ Ƥ born. I relate all that to say that we were sporadic NFP users, and also that NFP worked for us when we used it, both to avoid and to achieve pregnancy. It’s truly “family planning” at all stages. Being fallen people, we often make gods of ourselves and our wants, putting them on pedestals. Prudence is a virtue, of course, but it also needs to be balanced with generosity and self-giving— the fruits of which are often found in the gift of new life, our children. While natural family planning is great, the lessons that NFP encompasses go beyond simply planning a family, however. The Sacrament of Matrimony brings a great gift: intimacy… to know and be known in all your nakedness— including your fears, your thoughts, your deepest longings. Baring one’s soul sounds like a cliché because today’s society puts much weight on physical baring, or sharing raw emotion like anger or resentment, which we often mistake for intimate revelation. But real intimacy is about revealing those aspects of our identity that we don’t make visible to the world, and that’s what happens in NFP. While growing in intimacy, we also grow in chastity, mutual respect, and self-discipline. Chastity is one highly misunderstood concept, especially within marriage. We are all called to be chaste: man or woman, single or married. Like the Sacraments, chastity is an outward sign of inward grace. It isn’t virginity, and neither is it simply abstinence. It is at the same time visible and invisible. Chastity of thought, of feeling, of emotion, manifest themselves in

Chastity of thought, of feeling, of emotion manifest themselves in physical chastity, and when chastity is understood as a way of life, mutual respect and self-discipline follow. physical chastity, and when chastity is understood as a way of life, mutual respect and self-discipline follow. Mutual respect is the very fabric of marriage and many decisions depend on it. It means that we recognize our spouse’s innate dignity, and anticipate his or her needs—both sexual and non-sexual—and seek to meet them. Hand in hand with that respect is self-discipline and the governing of passions, of faculties and instincts. This may require, at times, heroic courage and trust in divine providence. Marriage is the school that teaches us about our spouses and about ourselves. We grow in grace throughout married life, learning to look not only for the good that serves us, but more importantly the good that serves our spouse and our children. The Catechism of the Catholic Church No. 2337 says that chastity is the successful integration of sexuality within the person, and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being. In Tagalog, pagpapakatotoo. Persistent work on the virtue of chastity teaches us to be truthful to ourselves, to our spouses, and to our vocation. Our mind, body, heart, and soul become one cohesive whole, giving us inner peace and genuine liberty. Some of our society’s biggest problems—pornography, ǡ Ȅ ơ and the trivialization of sexuality. We have seen the havoc that these wreak on our young people’s psyche and their future happiness. Because NFP teaches the lessons that it does, it becomes a living expression that captures what St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body is all about: love that is fruitful, total, faithful, and free. And because NFP is directed toward the December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

ĆŞ Â&#x2018;Â&#x2014;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2022;Â&#x160;Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x2030; Â&#x2018;Â&#x2C6; Â&#x2C6;Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2039;Â&#x17D;Â&#x203A;ÇĄ Â&#x2039;Â&#x2013; Â&#x2039;Â&#x2022; Â&#x192;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2018; Â&#x2020;Â&#x2039;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2026;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2020; Â&#x2013;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2122;Â&#x192;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2020; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; ĆŞ Â&#x2018;Â&#x2014;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2022;Â&#x160;Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x2030; of society. We obviously cannot teach what we do not know. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Discipline of the senses and the mind, watchfulness and prudence in avoiding occasions of sin, the observance of modesty, moderation in recreation, wholesome pursuits, assiduous prayer and frequent reception of the Sacraments of Penance and the Eucharistâ&#x20AC;? (see Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2018;Â?Â&#x192; Â&#x2014;Â?Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x192;)â&#x20AC;&#x201D;as we incorporate all these into our character and being, we also teach them to our children, who in turn learn that virtue often Â&#x2020;Â&#x2021;Â?Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020;Â&#x2022; Â&#x2022;Â&#x192;Â&#x2026;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2039;Ć¤ Â&#x2026;Â&#x2021;ÇĄ Â&#x201E;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2013; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x192;Â&#x2013; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x201D;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2122;Â&#x192;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2020;Â&#x2022; Â&#x192;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2122;Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2013;Â&#x160; Â&#x2039;Â&#x2013;Ç¤ Our story with NFP doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t end here. At 19, our oldest child developed painful symptoms of endometriosis, which Â&#x2019;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2018;Â?Â&#x2019;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2020; Â&#x2014;Â&#x2022; Â&#x2013;Â&#x2018; Ć¤ Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x192;Â? Â&#x2020;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2026;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D; Â&#x2122;Â&#x160;Â&#x2018; Â&#x2026;Â&#x192;Â? Â&#x160;Â&#x2021;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2019; Â&#x160;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D;ÇĄ since endo is often (wrongly) treated with birth control pills. We found a network of pro-life doctors and nurses, including NaPro specialists who taught her to chart using the Creighton Â?Â&#x2021;Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2020; Â&#x2013;Â&#x2018; Â&#x2020;Â&#x2039;Â&#x192;Â&#x2030;Â?Â&#x2018;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2021; Â&#x160;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D; Â&#x2022;Â&#x2019;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2026;Â&#x2039;Ć¤ Â&#x2026; Â&#x2019;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2018;Â&#x201E;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2021;Â?Â&#x2022;Ç¤ NaPro surgeon became part of her team of caregivers, and laparoscopic endo surgery gave her pain-free cycles. The experience woke me up to the reality that fertility awareness, which is the

We grow in grace throughout married life, learning to look not only for the good that serves us, but more importantly the good that serves our spouse and our children.

Fertility awareness helps our youth develop an appreciation for Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s design of the human body. This awareness undoubtedly contributes to their understanding and awe of each personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s innate, God-given dignity, and prepares them as well for the VDFULĂ&#x20AC; FHV DQG rewards that come with the Sacrament of Marriage. foundation for NFP no matter which method is used, isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just for married couples trying to avoid or achieve pregnancy. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also for every woman. A womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reproductive years only lasts so long, and paying careful attention to our health and fertility during those years is essential. Once again we only present half the equation when we talk about fertility awareness only in terms of family planning. Our current generation of young people preparing for married life is blessed in that fertility awareness methods in general, and NFP in particular, have caught the attention of even the secular world. Today many health-conscious individuals and organizations are looking to make fertility awareness and NFP even more accessible to everyone. Doctors and other health care professionals are themselves starting to see the wisdom of teaching fertility awareness even to pre-pubertal young girls, who need to learn how to track their biomarkers at an early age to make it easier to identify potential problems, to understand themselves Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2039;Â&#x201D; Â&#x201E;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2020;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2022; Â&#x201E;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D;ÇĄ Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x2013;Â&#x2018; Ć¤ Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x201D;Â&#x2021;Â?Â&#x2021;Â&#x2020;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2022; Â?Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2021;Â&#x192;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2039;Â&#x17D;Â&#x203A; Â&#x2039;Â&#x2C6; irregularities present themselves. On top of this, fertility awareness helps our youth develop an appreciation for Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s design of the human body. This awareness undoubtedly contributes to their understanding and awe of each personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s innate, God-given dignity, and Â&#x2019;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2019;Â&#x192;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2022; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021;Â? Â&#x192;Â&#x2022; Â&#x2122;Â&#x2021;Â&#x17D;Â&#x17D; Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2022;Â&#x192;Â&#x2026;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2039;Ć¤ Â&#x2026;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2022; Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x201D;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2122;Â&#x192;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2020;Â&#x2022; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x192;Â&#x2013; come with the Sacrament of Marriage. FM

Â&#x2013;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2C6; Â&#x192;Â&#x2013;Â&#x192;Â&#x2030; Â&#x2039;Â&#x2022; Â&#x192; Â?Â&#x2021;Â?Â&#x201E;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D; Â&#x2018;Â&#x2C6; Â&#x2039;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2019;Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x2018;Â&#x2022; Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D; Â&#x2039;Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2021; Č&#x2039; Í&#x153; Č&#x152;Ç¤ Â&#x160;Â&#x2021;ÇŻÂ&#x2022; Â&#x192; Â&#x160;Â&#x2018;Â?Â&#x2021;ÇŚÂ&#x2022;Â&#x2026;Â&#x160;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2018;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x2030; Â?Â&#x2018;Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D; Â&#x2018;Â&#x2C6; Ć¤ Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2021; Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x192;Â? Â&#x192;Â&#x2020;Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2026;Â&#x192;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2018;Â&#x2C6; Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x192; Â&#x201D;Â&#x2018; Ç¤ Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x160;Â&#x192;Â&#x2022; Â&#x2122;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2021;Â? Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D; Â&#x192;Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2022; Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x192;Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2022; Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D; Â&#x2018;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2020;Ç¤ Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x192;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2018; Â?Â&#x192;Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x2013;Â&#x192;Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x2022; Â&#x160;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D; Â&#x201E;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2030;ÇĄ Ç˛ Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x160;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2021; Â&#x160;Â&#x203A; Â&#x2039;Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2022;Çł Č&#x2039;Â&#x2122;Â&#x2122;Â&#x2122;Ç¤Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020;Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x203A;Â&#x2030;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2022;Ç¤Â&#x2026;Â&#x2018;Â?Č&#x152;Ç¤

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

The Gift of Life | SPECIAL SECTION

The CULTURE

of LIFE W

e Filipinos love life. This is the reason why we say “Mabuhay!”

This is why we love babies. Bring a baby inside a roomful of relatives and that baby gets passed around. We absolutely adore babies and love playing with them and making them giggle and laugh. This is why our grandparents are still part of our household. Leaving them in a hospice is unthinkable. This is why we love family Ƥ Ǩ celebrate life because life is part of who we are. We endure ƥ of hardships because we accept life as it is. But there is a growing threat to this love for life, and therefore a threat to the very core of our identity as Filipinos. It is called the Culture of Death. The Culture of Death is a term coined by Saint John Paul II in his encyclical

Let us awaken society, especially the youth, to the ascendancy of building up over tearing down, light over darkness, life over death. By Anthony James Perez Vitae in order to describe our generation’s aversion to life. During his visit here in our country in January of 2015, Pope Francis warned against the threat that “ideological colonization” brings to the Filipino Family. Ƥ ǡ referring to the legalization of same-sex marriage and the legitimization of contraception in our society as the Ƥ Ǥ ǡ ǡ ǡ in vitro fertilization, suicide, and our desire for ǡ ƪ Culture of Death is permeating into the mindset of our countrymen. We did not imbibe the Culture of Death overnight, although the introduction of the Reproductive Health bill—which is now the RH law—into the consciousness of the population was very much instrumental. Pro-lifers liken the RH law to a Pandora’s box; its passage opened the ƪ ǡ the other aspects of the Culture of Death not only acceptable but ultimately desirable to people. This I can vouch by my own experience.

December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

ASSAILABLE CONVICTIONS I belong to a pro-life group called Filipinos for Life, whose task is to propagate pro-life and pro-family values in social media. We had been very vocal since 2010 in opposing the passage of the RH law, and I myself am very active on Facebook and Twitter ever since its approval in 2012. I assure you that I saw for myself the change in the beliefs and sentiments of people on issues concerning human life. Although these observations are far from being statistically proven, let me share them with you nonetheless.

More and more Filipinos consider abortion not as totally evil, but as a lesser or necessary evil. Back in 2010, the people who opposed the RH bill believed that abortion was morally wrong, and that the bill would promote abortions. Fast forward to Ƥ people saying that while abortion is wrong, it is sometimes necessary. Reasons vary. Some say abortion is acceptable when conception was due to rape (the answer to this is to punish the rapist, not the child, who will always be innocent of the crime). Some argue that it is better to kill the baby ơ ȋ ơ ͕͔͔Ψ assured). This has resulted in Filipinos seeking abortion, albeit clandestinely; among those who sought abortifacient drugs online, a vast majority were young people who had an active sex life but could not face the responsibility that the child they sired would bring.

Even to this day, there are those who believe in so-called “overpopulation” and the direct causality between population and economics. And therefore the RH law is necessary. The notion of overpopulation was raised by Thomas Malthus in the 19th century and rehashed by Paul Ehrlich in the ’60s and ’70s. They argued that a large population put a strain on the limited resources of the Earth, and that uncontrollable population growth would bring certain doom to mankind. This theory has been debunked time and again by scientists and economists. Among them are Wong Hock Tsen and Fumitaka Furuoka, who studied the ơ ͖͔͔͙ no direct connection between population and economy; instead in China, Singapore, and the Philippines, the larger the population, the bigger the economic dividends. This is quite the opposite of the general perception that large families and a big population cause poverty. Unfortunately, it seems that this present administration is just as supportive of the RH law. 32

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

During his visit here in our country in January of 2015, Pope Francis warned against the threat that “ideological colonization” brings to the Filipino Family.

People feel indignant toward alleged criminals, feeling they are the real threats to the security of their families. There are now heated discussions about the rights of suspects and alleged criminals. On one side you have those who call for the blood of these perpetrators, and on the other side are those who decry the prejudice against criminals and call for due process. Although I myself slant towards the latter, I understand that many of those who feel vengeful toward lawless elements feel this way because they regard the war against drugs as a personal war. “I’d rather have them dead than cause harm to anyone I care for” is the main sentiment of not a few, regardless of whether the rule of law was followed or not.

The Gift of Life | SPECIAL SECTION

Many tolerate and accept homosexuality and same-sex relationships, but few will go as far as supporting samesex marriage. This

Destroy the family and you destroy the nation.

is where Pinoys draw the line. Many of us have friends and family members who have same-sex attraction and we would rather keep the peace rather than confront them head on and openly oppose same-sex relationship. Some people are totally Ć¤ Â?Â&#x2021; Â&#x2122;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2013;Â&#x160; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2039;Â&#x201D; Â&#x17D;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2020; Â&#x2018;Â?Â&#x2021;ÇŻÂ&#x2022; Â&#x2022;Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2021;ÇŚÂ&#x2022;Â&#x2021;Â&#x161; Â&#x201D;Â&#x2021;Â&#x17D;Â&#x192;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2018;Â?Â&#x2022;Â&#x160;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2019;ÇĄ Â&#x201E;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2013; Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D;Â&#x203A; Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2122; actually seem to support calls for same-sex marriage; even the LGBT community is split on this issue.

We did not imbibe the Culture of Death overnight, although the introduction of the RH law into the mindset of the population was very much instrumental.

There are forces guiding our legislators, celebrities, media personalities, athletes, and other famous people not only to accept but to promote the Culture of Death in our country. They do so in order to sway Â&#x2018;Â&#x2019;Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x2039;Â&#x2018;Â?Â&#x2022;ÇĄ Â&#x2026;Â&#x160;Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2030;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2019;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2026;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2019;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2018;Â?Â&#x2022; Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x201E;Â&#x2021;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2022;ÇĄ Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x2039;Â?ĆŞ Â&#x2014;Â&#x2021;Â?Â&#x2026;Â&#x2021; not only our way of thinking but our very way of life. This is precisely the ideological colonization that Pope Francis warned us about. And these forces want us to accept the Culture of Death because they want to destroy the family. Destroy the family and you destroy the nation. As much as this is a political and cultural battle, it is a spiritual battle too. St. Paul tells us that we are up against principalities and forces of evilâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;but we should never despair. Sister Lucia, the principle visionary of Our Lady Â&#x192;Â&#x2013; Â&#x192;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x192;ÇĄ Â&#x2022;Â&#x192;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2020; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x192;Â&#x2013; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Ć¤ Â?Â&#x192;Â&#x17D; Â&#x201E;Â&#x192;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2013;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2021; Â&#x201E;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2122;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2021;Â? Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2020; Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Satan will be over the family and marriage. We have to do our part as parents and educators in guiding our own families, especially the youth, towards a Culture of Life rather than one of death. It all has to start with us, in our own families and in our own communities. FM

Â?Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2018;Â?Â&#x203A; Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2021;Â&#x2022; Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2021;Â&#x153; Â&#x2039;Â&#x2022; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2014;Â?Â&#x2020;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D; Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D;Â?Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D; Â&#x2019;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2020;Â&#x2021;Â?Â&#x2013; Â&#x2018;Â&#x2C6; Â&#x2039;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2019;Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x2018;Â&#x2022; Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D; Â&#x2039;Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2021; Č&#x2039; Í&#x153; Č&#x152;Ç¤ Â&#x2021; Â&#x2039;Â&#x2022; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2026;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2021;Â&#x192;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D; Â&#x2018;Â&#x2C6; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x192;Â&#x2013;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2018;Â? Â&#x2026;Â&#x2018;Â?Â&#x2039;Â&#x2026; Â&#x201E;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2018;Â?ÇĄ Â&#x192; Â&#x2122;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D; Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x2022;Â&#x2019;Â&#x2021;Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D; Â&#x2021;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2019;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2026;Â&#x2039;Â&#x192;Â&#x17D;Â&#x17D;Â&#x203A; Â&#x2018;Â? Â&#x2019;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2018;ÇŚÂ&#x17D;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2013;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2019;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2026;Â&#x2022;ÇĄ Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x192; Â&#x201E;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2030;Â&#x2030;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D; Č&#x2039; Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2014;Â&#x2039;Â&#x201D;Â?Â&#x203A; Â&#x192;Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2018;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2026;Č&#x152;Ç¤ Â&#x2021; Â&#x192;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2018; Â&#x2122;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2022; Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x201D;Â&#x2018;ÇŚ Â&#x2039;Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2021; Â&#x160;Â&#x2039;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2019;Â&#x2019;Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x2021;Â&#x2022; Â&#x2122;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201E;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2021;Ç¤

December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

contends that the apocalypse is at hand, pointing to the erosion of Catholic morality by worldly materialism. By Quirino Sugon Jr.

uring his visit to the Philippines in 2015, Pope Francis mentioned “ideological colonization” as a threat to the institution of marriage and family. When asked by journalists to clarify what this phrase meant, he only remarked that this form of colonization is best understood by reading a book published in 1907 by Mons. Robert Hugh Benson: The Lord of the World.

The book is a tale of the Two Cities envisioned by St. Augustine: the City of God (the Catholic Church) and the City of Man (One World Government). It’s a world set in a dystopian future that sees the rise of Julian Felsenburgh as the Antichrist, Ƥ from the American Republic who averts the World

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

War between the Eastern Empire and the European Confederation. When Felsenburgh is appointed as the Lord of the One World Government, he decrees that lasting peace can only be achieved by destroying the remaining stumbling block to and thorn in the side of Marxism, Secularism, and Freemasonry: the Catholic Church. The European monarchies, ǡ ƪ Rome, and there together with the Pope, are annihilated by an atomic-like bomb dropped from planes that are called volors. The new Pope, who looks very ǡ ƪ to Nazareth and governs the Church through his new College of Cardinals via radio. They are meeting in a secret

The Gift of Life | SPECIAL SECTION

In the Catholic tradition, a good death requires the interior preparation of the soul through the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick, also called the Extreme Unction.

government airplane crashes into a train station: Fr. Percy Franklin rushes to aid the dying Catholic and gives him the last rites. But for the Secular world, the word euthanasia became Â&#x192; Â&#x2021;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2019;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021;Â?Â&#x2039;Â&#x2022;Â? Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D; Â&#x2020;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2019;Â&#x192;Â&#x2039;Â&#x201D;ÇŁ Â&#x2013;Â&#x2018; Â&#x2021;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2022;Â&#x2014;ĆĄ Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x2030; Â&#x2018;Â&#x2C6; Â&#x192; Â&#x2019;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2018;Â? by ending his life through medication or other means. In Bensonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s book, for example, Mabel administers euthanasia to her mother-in-law who struggles for life while clutching a rosary. But in the end, when Mabel hears that a law has been signed decreeing death to Catholics who confess their faith and that Rome is destroyed, her faith in Felsenburgh and the New World Order is deeply shaken: â&#x20AC;&#x153;It was incredible, she told herself, that this ravening monster, dripping blood from claws and teeth, that had arisen roaring in the night, could be the Humanity that had become her God. She had thought revenge and cruelty and slaughter to be the brood of Christian superstition, dead and buried under the newborn angel of light, and now it seemed that the monsters yet stirred and lived.â&#x20AC;? She goes to a voluntary euthanasia clinic Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x2022;Â&#x2014;ĆĄ Â&#x2018;Â&#x2026;Â&#x192;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2022; Â&#x160;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2021;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2C6; Â&#x2039;Â? Â&#x192; Â&#x2030;Â&#x192;Â&#x2022; Â&#x2026;Â&#x160;Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x201E;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D;Ç¤

EUTHANASIA VS. MERCY

conclave in Nazareth when their location is discovered. Felsenburgh himself leads the volors in bombing Nazareth, Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x192;Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2018;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2026; Â&#x160;Â&#x2014;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2026;Â&#x160; Â&#x2039;Â&#x2022; Ć¤ Â?Â&#x192;Â&#x17D;Â&#x17D;Â&#x203A; Â&#x2020;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2013;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2018;Â&#x203A;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2020;Ç¤ The book describes not only the changing environmental climate, e.g. the reddening of the sky, but the ideological climate as well: belief in the afterlife is darkened. If man has no soul and there is no heaven or hell, then death through euthanasia would become an individual choice, in the same way that the death of the unborn through abortion would be the womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s choice.

EUTHANASIA VS. EXTREME UNCTION The word â&#x20AC;&#x153;euthanasiaâ&#x20AC;? was derived from the Greek word meaning â&#x20AC;&#x153;good death.â&#x20AC;? In the Catholic tradition, a good death requires the interior preparation of the soul through the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick, also called the Extreme Unction. This Sacrament is described by Apostle James in the Â&#x2021;Â&#x2122; Â&#x2021;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2013;Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2021;Â?Â&#x2013;: Ç˛ Â&#x2022; Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x203A;Â&#x2018;Â?Â&#x2021; Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2018;Â?Â&#x2030; Â&#x203A;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2014; Â&#x2022;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2026;Â?ÇŤ Â&#x2021; Â&#x2022;Â&#x160;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2014;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2020; Â&#x2022;Â&#x2014;Â?Â?Â&#x2018;Â? Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; presbyters of the Church, and they should pray over him and anoint [him] with oil in the name of the Lord, and the prayer of Â&#x2C6;Â&#x192;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2013;Â&#x160; Â&#x2122;Â&#x2039;Â&#x17D;Â&#x17D; Â&#x2022;Â&#x192;Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2022;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2026;Â? Â&#x2019;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2018;Â?ÇĄ Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2020; Â&#x2122;Â&#x2039;Â&#x17D;Â&#x17D; Â&#x201D;Â&#x192;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2021; Â&#x160;Â&#x2039;Â? Â&#x2014;Â&#x2019;Ç¤ Â&#x2C6; Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x160;Â&#x192;Â&#x2022; Â&#x2026;Â&#x2018;Â?Â?Â&#x2039;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2020; Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x203A; Â&#x2022;Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x2022;ÇĄ Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2122;Â&#x2039;Â&#x17D;Â&#x17D; Â&#x201E;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2030;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2021;Â?Ç¤Çł (James 5:14-15) This is seen, for example, in Bensonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s book when a

When Benson published his book in 1907, the US was already proposing bills for physician-assisted euthanasia in cases of Â&#x2021;Â&#x161;Â&#x2013;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2021;Â?Â&#x2021; Â&#x2022;Â&#x2014;ĆĄ Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x2030; Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x2039;Â&#x2C6; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2019;Â&#x192;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2021;Â?Â&#x2013; Â&#x2122;Â&#x2039;Â&#x17D;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2020; Â&#x2039;Â&#x2013;ÇĄ Â&#x192;Â&#x2022; Â&#x2022;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2019;Â&#x2019;Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2020; by the American Humane Association. In Iowa, another bill was introduced to include the killing of deformed Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x2C6;Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2013;Â&#x2022;ÇĄ Â&#x17D;Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x2021; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2122;Â? Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x2013;Â&#x2018; Â&#x2026;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2039;ĆĄ Â&#x2022; Â&#x2039;Â? Ancient Sparta, as depicted in the movie â&#x20AC;&#x153;300.â&#x20AC;? Meanwhile, in Great Britain, the Voluntary Euthanasia Legalization Society was established in 1939 and later rebranded as Dignity in Dying. During the rise of Hitler, forced euthanasia was used in Germany to purge the Aryan race of physically and mentally handicapped people. After World War II, the Euthanasia Society of America presented a petition in 1949 to legalize euthanasia in New York, but the petition was opposed by the Catholic hierarchy, arguing that euthanasia was against the Fifth Commandment, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thou shalt not kill.â&#x20AC;? A similar Â&#x2019;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2018;Â? Ć¤ Â&#x17D;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2020; Â&#x2039;Â? Í&#x2022;Í?Í?Í&#x203A; Â&#x2039;Â? Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x160;Â&#x2039;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2019;Â&#x2019;Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x2021; Â&#x2021;Â?Â&#x192;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2021; Â&#x192;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2018; Â&#x2C6;Â&#x192;Â&#x2039;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2020; because of Catholic opposition. Meanwhile, in the same year, Oregon legalized euthanasia. And four years after, in 2002, Netherlands Â&#x201E;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2026;Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2021; Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Ć¤ Â&#x201D;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2013; Â&#x2026;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2014;Â?Â&#x2013;Â&#x201D;Â&#x203A; Â&#x2122;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2013;Â&#x160; Â&#x192; Â&#x2021;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x192;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2039;Â&#x192; Â&#x17D;Â&#x192;Â&#x2122;Ç¤ Â&#x2018;Â&#x2122; Â&#x192;Â&#x2026;Â&#x2026;Â&#x2014;Â&#x201D;Â&#x192;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2021; then was Bensonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s prediction that the Release Act legalizing euthanasia would be signed into law in 1998. Euthanasia is usually described as mercy killing, but the Church recommends mercy, not killing. The Catechism says: December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

2279 Even if death is thought imminent, the ordinary care owed to a sick person cannot be legitimately interrupted. ơ dying, even at the risk of shortening their days, can be morally in conformity with human dignity if death is not willed as either an end or a means, but only foreseen and tolerated as inevitable. Palliative care is a special form of disinterested charity. As such it should be encouraged.

EUTHANASIA VS. MARTYRDOM

But for the Secular world, the word euthanasia became a euphemism for despair: to end the suffering of a person by ending his life through medication or other means. 2278 Discontinuing medical procedures that are burdensome, dangerous, extraordinary, or disproportionate to the expected outcome can be legitimate; it is the refusal of “over-zealous” treatment. Here one does not will to cause death; one’s inability to impede it is merely accepted. The decisions should be made by the patient if he is competent and able or, if not, by those legally entitled to act for the patient, whose reasonable will and legitimate interests must always be respected.

In Hugh Benson’s book, the rise of the Lord of the World will be presaged by the legalization of euthanasia in the Secular world and the institution of the Order of the Ƥ in the Catholic Church—an order with three religious vows of chastity, poverty, and obedience, with an additional intention of martyrdom. Martyrdom is not euthanasia. While euthanasia seeks to ơ ǡ Ƥ ơ ơ ǡ his agony in the garden, his scourging at the pillar, his crowning ǡ ǡ Ƥ breathed his last, saying, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.” (Luke 23:46) We are now living through the End Times, the dystopian future prophesied by Benson when Catholic morality has been eroded by Secular Materialism. Our task is not to despair and ơ ǡ rather to face the future with hope, knowing that Christ Our Lord has conquered death. There shall be no more mourning, wailing, or pain. Death shall lose its sting. And Christ shall make all things new. (c.f. 1 Cor 15:55; Rev 21:4-5) FM

Our task is not to despair and seek death in order to avoid suffering and persecution, but rather to face the future with hope, knowing that Christ Our Lord has conquered death. Ǥ ǡ Ǥ Ǧ ǡ ǡ ǡ Ǥ ǣȀȀ Ǥ Ǥ ȀǤ

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

youth talk starring

Elha Nympha’s powerful vocals and yearning to help her family combine to set her off on an incredible journey that her late father had wished for her.

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By MARIDOL RANOA-BISMARK THERE WAS ONCE A YOUNG GIRL who wanted to help her widowed mom support their family. So when she wasn’t in school, the child would sell banana cue on the streets of Kamuning, Quezon City. Little did Elha Mae Nympha know that her desire to help her family would be the key to achieving her biggest dream—winning the grand championship on The Voice Kids Philippines Season 2. While peddling banana cue, then 11-year-old Elha would often break into song, her raw talent mesmerizing people. Soon, she had gained a steady stream of customers who would request for a song or two when they bought banana cue from her. December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

It was while Elha was serenading customers that voice coach Ryan del Rosario spotted her and knew immediately that she was a champion in the making. He proceeded to give her a free scholarship at his Quezon City school to polish her talent.

A FATHER’S DREAM In honing her singing skills, all Elha wanted was to please her late dad, who had dreamed of stardom for his daughter and a house of their own.

In honing her singing skills, all Elha wanted was to please her late dad, who had dreamed of stardom for his daughter and a house of their own. “When my dad [a carpenter] died of ulcer at home, my youngest sibling actually thought he was only sleeping and would wake up to take us to [a hamburger joint],” she says, speaking in Pilipino. Elha wanted to win the grand prize on The Voice Kids PH— P1 million in cash, a house and lot package in Bulacan worth P2 million, a sports utility vehicle, P1 million in trust fund, and a musical instrument package—not for herself, but for her family. Through the prizes at stake, she could ensure her younger siblings (another girl and two boys) would be able to finish their studies. “I was worried for my siblings. They might not be able to go to school,” Elha confessed. As it was, all that her mom Lucy, a former house help, could afford was public education for her children. After Elha, who used to listen to Kyla, Mariah Carey, and Beyonce when she was younger, passed the blind auditions for The Voice Kids PH, judge Bamboo happily took her under his wing. For their part, co-judges Sarah Geronimo broke into a wide smile and Lea Salonga described Elha as “incredibly talented.” When Elha was announced as the grand winner, a whirlwind of activities immediately followed her win. MCA Music signed her up for a three-year recording contract, and she got invitations to guest on ABS-CBN programs and sing

FamilyMatters | September-November December 2016-February 2016 2017

youth talk starring in out-of-town shows. Fans approach her for photo ops or autographs. Today, Elha smilingly ticks off her blessings: “We now have savings in the bank. I was able to buy my mom’s medicines.” She also bought new shoes and clothes for her siblings. But amid all the good things coming their way, Elha’s mom Lucy insists on “a simple lifestyle” and advises the young singer to stay approachable and relatable. Her celebrity daughter, now 12, still chats with neighborhood friends she meets on the street. “Others think I’ve gotten swellheaded just because I’m already popular, but I tell them I’m not,” Elha points out. “I tell them I’m still the same girl who loves going out. I’m still pesky and fat.”

ROLE MODEL Lucy is showing her children the importance of gratitude and loyalty by staying with her long-time employer Digna Teano’s side despite her daughter’s growing popularity. After all, it was Digna who taught Lucy, then a wide-eyed barrio lass, how to read and write and instilled good values in her house help. Lucy also met her husband, who used to do carpentry work for the Teanos, while working for the family. Twenty-seven years after she set foot in the Teano household, Digna has become more than just a helper; she has become family.

Amid all the good things coming their way, Elha’s mom Lucy insists on “a simple lifestyle” and exhorts the young singer to stay approachable and relatable. Digna’s two grown-up sons are Elha’s baptismal grandparents. She even makes room in her garage for the girl’s brand-new van, and lets the driver take Lucy and her celebrity daughter to showbiz commitments. “Sometimes, she’d even go with us,” Lucy says. “It’s hard to find an employer like my Ate (Digna) these days.” “Tita Digs” even joins Elha as she dances at home to lose weight. Because a leaner look registers better onscreen, Elha is now watching what she eats and exercises at the gym. She has lost 11 pounds in three weeks, and is down to 92 pounds. She plans to continue watching her food intake and maintaining her fitness regimen. Meanwhile, to preserve her voice, Elha shuns cold drinks and sweets. She also makes it a point to sleep early and avoid exposure to sudden changes in temperature because they could cause colds and ruin her singing voice.

Beyond this, Elha is like any other kid who enjoys video games like Minecraft and Clash Royale. She has a secret crush as well, who inspires her and whose name not even Mom knows. Lucy need not worry about her daughter’s crush though, because Elha is focused on her dreams, which includes putting up a banana cue restaurant for her family. When aspiring singers ask her for advice on how to succeed, Elha tells them, “Push your talent. Don’t let it remain taped in a box. Talent is a blessing from God. So use it to do good things.” Elha’s dad must be beaming down at her with pride. She’s using her talent to help her family, inspire other people, and make people happy. Elha is proof that talent and a good heart are a winning combination. FM December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

STAY STREET

SAFE

Smart steps you must take so you don’t become the next victim of outdoor crimes. By Excel V. Dyquiangco

DURING THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS, young people will surely be out in droves, enjoying their school break and savouring the festive outdoor atmosphere with friends. You’ll see them chilling at the malls, playing online games at amusement centers, attending Christmas parties, or testing out the rides at theme parks. Unfortunately, it’s not just students that hang out in public places at this time—pickpockets, holdapers, snatchers, muggers, and other criminals are roaming around too, particularly on the streets, looking for fresh victims. So it pays to be aware and alert whenever you step out of your home, particularly this Yuletide season. Here, Family Matters asked Police Superintendent Job Russel Balaquit of the Philippine National Police’s Fire and Explosives Division at Camp Crame for some pointers on how not to be another unfortunate stat in the country’s rising street crime index.

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

Don’t carry your bag or hold your phone on the street side of the sidewalk where riders in tandem can easily grab them.

YOUTH Talk SAVING WHEN UP AGAINST A CROOK

STREET SAFETY TIPS Here are the police official’s reminders for staying safe on the streets of Metro Manila.

Avoid walking home late or early in the morning. Choose to pass along lighted streets—not dark ones— even if the route takes you longer. Don’t walk alone. Send a text to your parents, sibling, or a close friend to meet or fetch you.

Keep away from streets notorious for gang wars, robberies, rape incidents, and other crimes.

Don’t carry your bag or hold your phone on the street side of the sidewalk where riders in tandem can easily grab them.

Avoid displaying valuables such as money, jewelry, or smart phones while walking outside or riding a public vehicle. “Better to keep your phone, wallet, or money in your front pocket while walking along a crowded street,” advises Balaquit. He also dissuades young people from counting their money in public places.

Never accept invitations for a free ride from strangers, even acquaintances you barely know.

When riding a bus or a jeep, be observant. If you feel uneasy about the suspicious actions or penetrating stares of some of the passengers, get off and find another ride, urges Balaquit. Try not to fall asleep inside taxicabs or other public utility vehicles (PUVs). As for girls, they should think twice before wearing seductive or revealing clothes so as not to attract sexual predators.

If you can’t avoid having to ride home in the wee hours, text your loved ones your current location and your destination. Give your parents the plate number and other important details of the PUV you are riding. It’s even better to give them a call in order to let the driver hear what you’re saying. If possible, take a secret shot of the driver or his PUV and send it to your family, suggests Balaquit.

If the unfortunate happens and you do encounter an assailant, what should you do?

Report a crime or testify against a criminal so justice can be served and fewer people will be victimized.

If you’re accosted on the street, try to shout for help to catch the attention of people in the area so they can intervene. If you’re a girl and you encounter a rapist, see if you can leave scratches on the aggressor’s body. Balaquit points out that the male organ and the eyes are the most delicate parts of a man’s body, and welldelivered blows to these areas could forestall the aggression.

Don’t attempt to fight, admonishes the police official. If a robbery takes place inside a bus or jeep, it is best to just hand over your money calmly. At the same time, take note of the robbers’ facial and other physical features for identification by the police afterwards.

It’s good to keep the hotlines of the police, National Bureau of Investigation, and your barangay center on speed dial for sending an SOS immediately.

If you have a smart phone with you, you may also secretly videotape or take a picture of the crime scene and the perpetrators, Balaquit recommends.

It would be commendable if you can report a crime or testify against a criminal so justice can be served and fewer people will be victimized. Christmas is definitely a magical time for everyone, young and old alike. It’s a sad reality, however, that unscrupulous people will attempt to take cover behind the glitter and lights, the curtain of crowds, and the heavy traffic to distract you and take your money or precious belongings. The best way to protect yourself from street crimes is to never let your guard down and to always take precautions. Prevention is the best action, stresses Balaquit. FM

December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

It’s all about exciting adventures on the high seas for this training specialist working aboard a cruise ship! By EXCEL V. DYQUIANGCO

IS THE A SEAMAN USED TO BE the last thing Bryan Canlas wanted to be because he thought it would mean performing menial jobs like doing cleaning and repair work aboard a ship. But on hearing his friend’s tales of his adventures at sea and the places he’d visited as a seaman, Bryan had a change of heart. At that time, too, he had gone to Hong Kong for a quick but enjoyable vacation and caught the travel bug “big time.” Recalls Bryan, “Immediately I wanted to work abroad, so I applied online and three months later I was being asked to process my paperwork and board RCCL’s [Royal Caribbean Cruises Ltd.] Mariner of the Seas, which was sailing across Asia.” In 2013, Bryan, then 31, was accepted as a training and development manager, meriting a 2.5-stripe job level. Wearing those stripes, Bryan says, meant the perks were quite good, including a single cabin to himself as well as his own office, while “you get to go pretty much all over the ship” without restrictions. “Having stripes in this line of business is something you will appreciate 42

Part of my challenge as a training specialist is to ensure I don’t get lost inside the ship. Funny as it sounds but everyone faces this challenge.

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

because of the benefits it offers and the respect you gain,” he explains. “At first I could not understand the big deal about having stripes, but after some time you will observe the difference in treatment between striped and non-striped crew members.” He also discovered that cruise ships are divided into two major departments, the marine and the hotel sections. He was assigned to the latter, and learned that a floating hotel was run pretty much like those on land.

HELPING NEW HIRES Now Bryan is working as a training specialist for another passenger ship, the Norwegian Cruise Line (NCL), where he implements the sign-on process for new recruits and conducts various training programs for all the crew members on board, which number more than 900. New hires are given work orientations and other mandated trainings like those on business ethics, zero tolerance policy, and sexual harassment laws. “It all depends on their needs and the position they hold,” he says of the staff trainings he organizes. “I also conduct leadership trainings for

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managers and supervisors. Sales training and customer service training are also done from time to time for certain crew members.” On the administrative side, he processes the certificates of crew members and updates all their training records. Bryan spearheads crew recognition programs that give awards to outstanding staffers, such as the employee of the month, manager of the month, team of the month, and other similar activities. He likewise manages cross-training programs for crew members who want to cross-train for different positions. Every couple of weeks, meantime, he takes walks around the ship, interacting with guests and making sure they are well taken care of. “Part of my challenge as a training specialist is [to ensure I don’t get] lost inside the ship,” he says. “Funny as it sounds but everyone faces this challenge.”

ADJUSTMENT PERIOD He also shares his early difficulties acclimating to the work environment as a newbie on a passenger ship, one of which is working seven days a week. “We work every day. We don’t have days off and our contract ranges from four to six months, then two months off,” says Bryan. “So I would get really tired because I was still set up to work five days a week then two days of rest, so I

While the money is good, he advises others to save as much money as they can because at some point it can just suddenly stop.

while on Visiting The Colosseum in Italy a stopover in Europe.

had difficulty adjusting to that.” In addition, they do weekly safety and emergency drills, which Bryan says is unique to ship work, as these are not normally carried out in a land-based workplace. Another early difficulty is the communication gap. Although English is the main communication medium used in the workplace, the lack of proficiency and the thick accents of some of the crew members sometimes poses a challenge. “But after some time I got used to it and it became easier,” says Bryan. Aside from the monetary rewards, he says travelling the world for free is one of the best things about his work. Over the last three years, he has visited Asian countries like China, South Korea, Singapore, Vietnam, Thailand, Japan, Malaysia, Taiwan, and Hong Kong, and toured European nations like Spain, Portugal, France, and Italy. In North America, he has gone to the U.S. and Canada. “Living on board is also something really nice,” he adds. “I don’t have to make my room, cook, do the dishes, pay the electricity and water bills, and do the

laundry and others. Simple as it sounds, it is awesome not having to think about those.” On what motivates him to do his best, Bryan says, “As a seaman, the fulfilment I get is the fact that I am part of this awesome industry. Sixty percent of our workforce here in the NCL fleet consists of Filipinos, and it is such a nice feeling to be part of that. Work-wise, to be able to help our crew members achieve their goal of career advancement is something that keeps me inspired to do my job.” Over the years, what he has learned as a seaman is to never be complacent on the job—to always learn a new skill, expand his capabilities, and think of ways to be of more value to the organization. Bryan never stops aiming higher, and is striving to become an environmental officer in the near future. And while the money is good, he advises others who work in the marine industry: “Learn to save as much money as you can because at some point it can just suddenly stop.” This is because maritime workers are employed under a contractual arrangement. As for the family that seamen like him must leave behind for regular periods of time, he admonishes his colleagues, “Never take your family for granted, always make time for them, and always remember that they come first all the time.” FM

December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

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EVERY SO OFTEN, we run into a wall when asked to produce an essay or a written report in school. Even though we exert all our brainpower, we still end up staring at a blank page, unable to start. While many students will keep trying until their mental block clears up, a few sometimes look for a “shortcut”— taking ownership of another person’s work in order to get a passing grade. This is called plagiarism. Ivy Lisa Mendoza, former editor of Manila Bulletin’s Youth Section and currently teaching Journalism at the

O RES

The student’s manual on how to avoid plagiarism.

University of the Philippines-Diliman, says plagiarism is defined as “the unlawful appropriation of someone’s work” or, more simply, the attempt to pass off somebody else’s creation as your own. Students who are caught plagiarizing may face consequences that range from suspension to expulsion. Despite this, many still do it anyway. Mendoza says there’s just no justification for it, saying bluntly that people who plagiarize are simply “dishonest and lazy.” Aside from the immediate

adverse results, there are longterm consequences for resorting to plagiarism. Mendoza explains, “The little dishonesty that is committed will most likely lead to bigger dishonesties, bigger lies and deceptions, not only in school work, but in the workplace or in any aspect of life.” One recent case of plagiarism involved a UP student who won a photography contest using a stolen picture. When he was found out, the reward was immediately recalled, but the long-term impact is worse—the shady act has damaged his credibility

The little dishonesty that is committed will most likely lead to bigger dishonesties, bigger lies and deceptions, not only in school work, but in the workplace or in any aspect of life. 44

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

youth talk learning and will weigh on his aspirations to be a professional photographer. Students are not the only ones capable of such deception, however. Even well-known people have been known to plagiarize, too. Melania Trump, wife of U.S. presidential candidate Donald Trump, delivered a speech that turned out to contain phrases copied word for word from a speech of U.S. First Lady Michelle Obama. The controversy not only tarnished her reputation but also had a negative effect on her husband’s candidacy.

PLAGIARISM PREVENTION It’s important to ensure you know what constitutes plagiarism and how to avoid it. Below, Mendoza shares tips with students and professionals alike so they won’t be accused of copy-pasting. Be resourceful. Find people to interview who can provide the information you need. Get your facts from firsthand sources.

ɷ Do your research well and always cite the sources of your materials.

ɷ Create your own work. Never forget that someone put time and effort to write, take pictures, or produce a particular output.

Always keep in mind that pretending that another person’s creative output is your own is stealing. And whenever you are tempted to copy, just think of how you’d feel if others also claimed to be the creator of what you worked hard on. For their part, teachers can help students fight the urge to plagiarize by being strict and clear about the school’s policies concerning plagiarism. “I always tell my students that once I catch them, no matter what the grades they have earned in past works, that is an automatic fail in my class,” reveals Mendoza. “There is no room for dishonesty in the creative fields such as writing, visual arts, and journalism. If a person finds it hard to produce his or her own work, then maybe that person is in the wrong field,” she further says. So if faced with a difficult assignment, which would you choose: giving it your best shot and having the satisfaction of knowing it is the product of your own creative process, or taking the shortcut method but being beset by worries of exposure? Hopefully, you’ll make the right decision. FM

Create your own work. Never forget that someone put in time and effort to write, take pictures, or produce a particular output.

The

Accidental

Not surprisingly, many students unknowingly commit plagiarism because they are not too familiar with the dos and don’ts of the issue. To avoid accidental plagiarism, we suggest further readings on the topic, especially those from authoritative sources such as reputable publishing houses or universities. According to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s School of Humanities Art and Social Sciences, there are five basic rules regarding the use of information in professional and in academic writing:

If you use the language of your source, you must quote it exactly, enclose it in quotation marks, and cite the source.

2 3 4 5

If you use ideas or information that is not common knowledge, you must cite the source. If you didn’t invent it, cite the source. Unless your professor explicitly tells you to paraphrase, don’t paraphrase. When in doubt, cite the source. Doing so can only enhance your reader’s sense of your honesty.

December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

w e N R, A E Y

A fresh calendar year ushers in the perfect time to begin transforming yourself into a better person and the child that every parent prays for. SOMEONE ONCE SAID, “To be clever is good, to be brave is better, but to be a good person—that is everything.” Now that the New Year is here, we are hoping it heaps good things upon us. But we also know this will be possible only if we are willing to change for the better. This is why we usually jot down our New Year’s resolutions in the first month of the new year. For us students, these resolutions might include doing better in school, making new friends, 46

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

New ME BY STEPHANIE MAYO

swearing off junk food, reading more books, spending our allowance more wisely. But one resolution your parents will agree with you wholeheartedly is if you vow to be a better child to them. “Being a good child means how you behave towards your parents,” says Teacher Menchie of English Channel. “If you are a good child, your parents will trust you, you’ll get good grades, and your life will be much happier.”

youth talk growing

TRAITS OF THE GOOD CHILD

So how can you become the child your parents prayed for?

1. Show more respect. Being human, we sometimes can’t help but get hurt or take offense from something our parents said or did. But no matter how angry you get, you must try to stay calm and not talk back. “I was not a model child, far from it. But I have searched my memory hard and long to bring back instances when I may have ‘had words’ with my parents. I find none,” shares Conchita Razon in her article “Respecting Your Parents.” “I was not your best-behaved teenager, but I can’t think of a single time when I sassed or verbally disrespected them.” “I remember endless lectures, sometimes being blamed for things I didn’t do. It was not always fair. But I never ‘gave them lip,’ she adds. “It was just something we did not do. It was not ever an option. I find this hard to explain in today’s ‘freedom of expression’ society.” Razon further explains: “Our respect for Papa and Mama had deep roots. No, it was not fear. They were never the enemy. They didn’t try to be our best friends. They were simply mother and father. They never disguised nor confused their roles. They did not pretend to be anything else but our parents. We were in awe of them, but never doubted that they loved us completely and unconditionally.” But what if you need to say something important or clarify

something? Aren’t you allowed to speak? “It’s okay to ask questions or ask for clarification on a rule or something you disagree with,” says Kelli Mahoney, a Christian expert on teen issues. “But it’s important to do so in a respectful manner. If you just push and yell and scream, it is unlikely that your parents will actually hear your objections. Disrespect will put a wall between you and your parents immediately.” 2. Be more obedient. When parents lay down rules, it is always for our own good. They just want to protect us and desire a bright future for us, not deprive us of our freedom and happiness. “He [God] knows that if we disobey our parents or ignore them, we are in danger, just as painfully as getting hit by a car,” says Barbara McCain in her article “Why You Should Obey Your Parents.” “We might not always understand what they tell us to do, just like we might not always see the approaching car at a crosswalk, but we need to obey. God gave us the gift of parents so that they could help to guide us, keep us safe and teach us life lessons.” “Many times these lessons mean that our learning comes through obeying,” McCain further says. “We will learn how to be an organized person by doing our chores on time each day. Being organized means being more successful as an adult. We learn important values in life that will make us a better person and even a happier child if we obey.” 3. Listen well. When your parents give a lecture, always pay attention to the

We learn important values in life that will make us a better person and even a happier child if we obey.

wisdom of their words. “As you soften your defenses, work to become fully present as a listener. This requires that you cue your brain, body, and heart to

If you just push and yell and scream, it is unlikely that your parents will actually hear your objections. Disrespect will put a wall between you and y your parents immediately. December 2016-February 2017 | FamilyMatters

youth talk growing open to whatever the parent has to say (even if it’s hard to hear),” advises Shane Safir, a coach, writer, and professional learning facilitator. “Presence requires that you set aside your phone, paperwork, and other distractions to offer the pure gift of attention to another human being. Believe me, parents will notice the difference, and a palpable sense of trust will begin to emerge.” Peaceful Parent Institute also explains how you can listen closely. When actively listening, the center said, “the listener resists the temptation to make the assumption that they already know what the speaker is trying to say. It’s easy to think ‘oh I’ve heard this before’ or ‘I know what you should do’, ‘yeah right, as if you’re so innocent in this’ or ‘come on, get to the bottom line.’” The article explains that “such thoughts make it difficult to properly hear and interpret the speaker’s words and can deny both parties the opportunity for deeper understanding and to resolve potential misunderstandings.” 4. Be more mature and responsible. Our parents want us to succeed in life, and to do so, we must strive to be mature and responsible at an early age. So if you are assigned chores, make sure you do them. This 2017, try to become more organized, industrious, and responsible. Emily Tan Cal, a home-based transcriptionist, expresses her desire for her 10-year-old daughter to become more dependable and reliable, just like her older siblings. “I would like to see them know their responsibilities. Like my 10-year-old girl is learning to be more responsible when doing the household chores,” Emily says. “It was at this age when my two older kids started to do their own laundry, wash dishes, clean their rooms, iron their clothes, etc. Now that they’ve grown, they’re also teaching their little sister the importance of helping out in the house.” Even with just household work and schoolwork, you can practice becoming a more conscientious and hardworking child and make your parents proud. 48

5. Be a better student. Understandably, our parents want to show off their kids, especially when we excel in academic performance. After all, they are working hard to send us to a good school so we can become successful in the future. Seeing us improve our standing in school will certainly relieve some of their worries and make their sacrifices worthwhile.

BETTER THAN EVER No, you don’t have to be a perfect student, just a better one than the previous year. “I encourage my little girl by telling her that if she gets good grades, that’s good,” says Emily. “If she gets not-so-

good grades, that’s all right, too. I do not want to pressure her into making things perfect all the time.” When you become a better student in school, the one who will benefit the most is you. So begin adopting improved study habits this coming year, and in the long run, you will reap the rewards— while putting a smile on your parents’ faces. Our parents are God’s gift to us and are the people who care most about us in this world. However, they will not be with us forever, so while they are still here, strive to be a source of joy to them. Remember, too, that not everyone has parents, and you are lucky to have a mom and dad who love you. They may not be perfect, but you can resolve to overlook their all-too-human flaws and be a more patient, loving, caring, and obedient child to them. In fact, God promised blessings to those who obey their parents. Exodus 20:12 says, “Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” Oh, and remember that one day, you will become a parent yourself, and will pray to be blessed with thoughtful children, too. FM

Our parents will not be with us forever, so while they are still here, strive to be a source of joy to them.

FamilyMatters | December 2016-February 2017

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