Messy Mornings

Center

Dear Karen,

I am the mother of three daughters under age 7. My oldest is in elementary school, and my younger two attend our early-education center. My husband and I both work full time, and getting everyone ready and out the door on time in the mornings is very challenging. Waking them up, dressing them and getting everyone fed and out the door can feel impossible.

I’ve been told we should get as much done at night as we can, but by the time we get everyone to bed, we’re just too exhausted to do another thing. Somewhere in there, we also want to have family time. Is there a secret to making our life work so we can manage our schedule and not always be so stressed out?

Messed-Up Mornings and Nutty Nights

Dear Messed-Up Mornings,

First, let me applaud you for wanting to make family time a priority during a very hectic weekday schedule! The good news is that there are de nitely ways to organize your routine so that it takes some stress away from you and your husband, and looking at your nighttime routine may help you make changes to the morning routine.

It sounds like you’ve divided up tasks between you and your husband, but there just might be more to do than the two of you can do by yourselves. This could be the moment to think about what your children can do to help. Rather than seeing chores as something that must be done so you can have family time, try turning some of the chores into quality family time.

The rst step could be having a family meeting to talk about the mornings and evenings. O ering your children the opportunity to participate in making group decisions and take on some responsibility can build their con dence and teach important life skills. In addition, it gives you and your husband special time with your children while they help you with the things that need to be done. This is a win/win for everyone!

It may seem impossible to do anything else in the evenings, but there may be ways to accomplish more than one thing at a time.

For example, while your husband prepares dinner, your oldest daughter could sit in the kitchen, nish her homework and help with dinner prep. At the same time, you could give the younger two a bath.

A er dinner, your younger girls could help you tidy the kitchen while your husband supervises your oldest taking her bath. By the time the post-dinner part of the evening is over, the kitchen is clean, baths and homework are done, and you’ve all spent that time together making it happen.

Your husband could have all three children help him prepare breakfast and lunches for the next day. Even the youngest could wash fruit or put out cereal boxes. You might assist your middle child in choosing two out ts that are ready for her to pick from in the morning. Your oldest could choose her own morning alarm (check out Sunrise or Zen alarm clocks), which might make it easier and more enjoyable for her to wake up.

You might also consider setting aside time on weekends to work together to prepare for the coming week. Making meals ahead, for example, can be an enjoyable family activity. These are just a few suggestions, and your family members will have their own great ideas!

The key is to let your daughters be part of the decisionmaking process for producing change – they’ll be more invested in a routine that they’ve had a hand in creating, and it’s very rewarding for them to

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choose their own responsibilities. Then, the time spent with – and the attention received from – both parents while doing their chosen tasks will be its own reward. Your regularly expressed acknowledgment and appreciation of their e orts also helps to build their sense of self-worth, and they will begin to understand the value of contributing in meaningful ways to the life of your family.

Karen Corekin-DeLaMer holds degrees in elementary, special and early-childhood education. She has been a teacher, administrator and parent educator since 1984 and is the education and communityrelations coordinator for Northern Door Children’s Center in Sister Bay. Email your questions to her at k.corekin@yahoo.com.

Sister Bay Moravian Church

Bible

St.

Baha’iFaith

Let him improve the character of each and all, and reorient the minds of men. . . . For love is light, no matter in what abode it dwelleth; and hate is darkness, no matter where it may make its nest. . . . strive ye to banish that darkness for ever and ever.

Baha’i devotions are held at 4pm each Wednesday via Zoom. Please email or call us to obtain a link to the program: doorcountybahais@gmail.com 920-868-9698 For further information go to: www.bahai.org

Peninsula Poetry

Annette Langlois Grunseth

Annette Langlois Grunseth has called Door County a second home since age 10. She comes from a family of writers and is retired from a career in health care marketing and public relations.

Grunseth earned the 2022 Hal Prize for Poetry and a 2022 Gold Medal from the Military Writers Society of America for Combat and Campus: Writing through War, a memoir of her brother’s Vietnam War letters and her concurrent year at UWMadison during the antiwar protests. She also earned a Pushcart Prize nomination with her poetry chapbook, Becoming Trans-Parent: One Family’s Journey of Gender Transition Learn more at annettegrunseth.com.

What’s your writing routine?

My writing routine uctuates with the seasons. In winter, I follow several daily email feeds, nding inspiration to write poetry from reading the work of other poets. In spring and fall, I am inspired while bicycling along a river trail. Summer, you will nd me paddling my kayak where nature inspires me to write poems, again, into my phone.

What do most poorly written poems have in common?

A poorly written poem is one that is not well edited. It may ramble on without a point, contain clichéd images or forced rhymes.

What do most well-written poems have in common?

Well-written poems have “tight” language, where every word has a purpose and o ers a message the reader can understand. Good poems contain fresh images, connecting ideas and feelings in new ways. (And, good poems do not have to rhyme.)

Is it important to understand the meaning of the poem or for the reader to be able to “solve” it?

I want to be able to understand a poem a er a few attentive readings. I enjoy poems that stretch my thinking and understanding, but [I] “glaze over” if a poem is obtuse. When I hear people say they don’t “get” or enjoy poetry, it makes me want to write accessible poetry to change that old stereotype.

What books are you reading right now?

I am listening to two audiobooks: Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari and The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien. I am reading A Primer for Poets & Readers of Poetry by Gregory Orr.

Peninsula Poetry is a monthly column curated by the Door County Poets Collective, a 12-member working group that was formed to publish Soundings: Door County in Poetry in 2015 and continues to meet.

BOOK RECOMMENDATION

Milky Way

The sky pours stars over us tonight.

Imagine Greek goddess Hera’s breast spewing a river of milk across the heavens.

East Asians follow a silver river.

In Southern Africa, it’s the Backbone of Night.

A dog spreads cornmeal across a Cherokee sky. The Lakota people call it the Place of Spirits. Finns and Estonians seek their pathway of birds, migrating south to this celestial map so that we too can find our way in the dark.

Pears

Growing up in the shadow of WWII my brother grabs a pear from the Green Stamp fruit bowl, pulls the stem out with his teeth, pretends to throw it, making hand grenade blasting sounds. He arranges green army men on the floor for a ack and retreat, plays war games in a foxhole dug into the empty lot next door. As a Boy Scout he learns survival, camping out on weekend bivouacs. With Dad, he hunts pheasant, partridge, and sometimes deer. He becomes a good shot. Like his father, uncle, and grandfather he grows up to serve in the military. His dra number comes up at college graduation, 1967. A er basic training he flies off to Vietnam hastily prepared. He is issued old weapons from past wars; has no rain gear for monsoon season. My parents buy a rainsuit and mail it to him. His le ers tell of living in a track as they sweep the jungle, rolling through rice paddies, dodging snipers, and ambushes. His le ers describe mortar a acks, direct hits, and missing limbs. Scouting and hunting skills keep him alive in that jungle. He tells me, You have it easy because you’re a girl, you weren’t forced into war, or that kind of fear. Maybe I have it easier, but whenever I eat a pear I feel his burden – my guilt ignites as the taste of pear explodes in my mouth.