The Brockenhurst Guide - November 2010

November 2010 Local Business Guide Community Information Forthcoming Events Local landscape shines in photo competition Page 4

Short Story Wedding Day Page 28

Gardening Tips Page 22

Prize Wordsearch Page 25

Delivered FREE in and around the village

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2 The Brockenhurst Guide

Dear Brockenhurst!

I cannot believe it is November already. Really this year has flown by like never before. I am sure Hayden our 6 year old son wouldn’t agree with me, so I guess I must be getting on a bit!

The new kittens which were born last month are truly gorgeous. Lydia, the Mum has been a delight to watch. One day the little black and white kitten, named Fifi by Hayden, tried to make a bee line for the door to go outside. Lydia looked at her and gave her a right talking to, looking at the door then turning to the kitten. It was quite amazing to see. Needless to say, Fifi turned around and went straight back into the room. Maybe I can learn from her!

New Edition 6

Published by: Stephen & Debbie Corney

Telephone: 01202 894397

Email: info@brockenhurstguide.co.uk

Copy deadline for December edition of The Lyndhurst Directory: 24th November 2010 Disclaimer: Whilst every care has been taken to ensure that data in this publication is accurate, the publisher cannot accept any liability to any party to loss or damage caused by errors or omissions resulting from negligence, accident or any other cause. The Brockenh urst Guide does not officially endorse any advertising m a teria l in clu d ed w ith in th e p u b l i ca t i on . N o p a r t o f t h i s publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval systems or transmitted in any form, without prior permission of the publisher.

Well we have a great Brockenhurst Guide for you this month, with dinner offers for the Christmas season approaching, fruit & veg shops, signs, gardening, catering in fact you name it and I am sure you will find the right person to help you. Please mention The Brockenhurst Guide when making any calls or enquiries. This makes all the difference to the magazine and keeps it in circulation . Did you all have a good Halloween? We had a great evening with children and adults all dressing up including face paints! Sometimes we just need an excuse to let out hair down, hey.

I hope you all have a great month of November.

Best Wishes,

Debbie Useful Numbers

Brockenhurst Police Southern Electricity Transco Gas Emergency Southampton Gen. Hosp.

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0845 045 45 45 08457 708090 0800 111999 023 8077 7222

Train Enquires First Bus Company Wessex Water Lymington Library

08457 484950 023 8058 4321 01225 526000 01590 673050

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Local landscape shines through in national photography competition 'Take a view', The Landscape Photographer of the year exhibition opens at Moors Valley Country Park, near Ringwood, on 9th October.

Featuring around 100 winning and commended images, selected from thousands of entries, the exhibition represents the very best landscape photography in the UK. Incredibly, despite the huge geographic area covered by the exhibition, nearly 7% of these winning and commended images depict the glorious scenery found across Dorset and Hampshire.

From Swanage Bay to Kingston Lacy, Corfe Castle to Kimmeridge and Rockford Common to Marshwood Vale the photographs all attest to the beauty of the local countryside, whilst in many instances also revealing a new perspective on an iconic image.

Six local photographers received commendations this year, with Mark Bauer also taking the National Park prize for his shot of Summer Mist on Rockford Common in the New Forest. Two of his images of Swanage Pier also received commendations.

“This competition is the one that all landscape photographers want to do well in so naturally I was delighted to receive three commendations”, said Mark. “Dorset is an amazingly photogenic county with a truly unique landscape. With its World Heritage coastline and wonderful inland features it has become a bit of a mecca for landscape photographers. I am incredibly lucky to have it all right on my doorstep”.

'Take a view', the Landscape Photographer of the Year competition, is the brainchild of Charlie Waite, internationally acclaimed landscape photographer and another Dorset resident. His pivotal role in regenerating interest in landscape photography includes the creation of this prestigious competition with a total prize fund of over £20,000, an exhibition

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at the National Theatre and publication of a full-colour book of the best entries.

“We are delighted that so many of this year’s photographs depict local scenes and can now be viewed here in Dorset by people who know and love the area,” said Katie Davies, Countryside Interpretation Ranger at Moors Valley Country Park and Forest.

“All the images are extremely powerful, highlighting the wonderful diversity of the landscape across the UK. It’s impossible not to be impressed by them regardless of whether you enjoy photography or understand the techniques required to capture images of this quality. It’s even more impressive that we have such excellent local photographers right on our doorstep able to so graphically point out the beauty that surrounds us here on a day-to-day basis.”

The exhibition is in the Visitor Centre at Moors Valley Country Park and Forest from 9th October – 28th November 2010. It can be seen between 9:00am and 4:30pm daily and entrance is free although car parking charges do apply within the Park.

For more information call 01425 470721 or visit www.moors-valley.co.uk

Summer mist, Rockford Common, New Forest, Hampshire by Mark Bauer Best image – New Forest National Park Authority

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5 If it is

Artists Materials Or

Call for a Free Estimate

Picture Framing

Prices include Cleaning of Frames and Sills Can also price to clean: • Fascias • Soffits • Gutters • Etc.

that you are looking for

Litchfield Artists Centre has all the answers

36 years of experience of problem solving 6 Southampton Road Lymington, SO41 9GG

01590 672503 Email: artistsmaterials@yahoo.co.uk Easy parking nearby

Property Damage?

Insurance Claim?

We can help with our free claims management service Call us on

01202 355473 or 0800 0776704 Quoting “Dorset Publications” www.aspray.com

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WED-FRI November to Easter BREAKFAST OFFER £5.00 Bistro Breakfast including Tea or Coffee

LUNCH OFFER Buy ONE meal get the cheapest meal FREE (From our Daily Specials Board)

AFTERNOON TEA £3.50

OPENING TIMES WED 10am — 4:30pm THU 10am — 4:30pm FRI 10am — 4:30pm, 6:30pm—9pm* SAT 10am — 4:30pm, 6:30pm—9pm* SUN 9am — 4:30pm Take Away Open 7 days 11am—5pm (Weather Permitting)

*Last food order

Scrumptious Slice of Cake with Tea or Coffee

DINNER Book Table of 4 and receive Free Bottle of House Wine This offer cannot be used in conjunction with any other offers and it may be changed or withdrawn by Management without prior notice

Tel: 01202 431473 Email: relax@bistroonthebeach.co.uk Web: www.bistroonthebeach.co.uk Solent Promenade, Southbourne Coast Road, Bournemouth, BH6 4BE

Simple Sudoku Perfect for your coffee break!

The one rule: Fill in all blank cells making sure that each row, column and 3 by 3 box contains the numbers 1 to 9.

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British Heart Foundation evening great success at Rivaaz in New Milton On the 21st October 2010 a charity evening at the Rivaaz Restaurant in New Milton was organised by Ebad the restaurant owner, in aid of the British Heart Foundation.

The 60 guests attending, many in colourful saris were treated to a delicious, authentic Indian buffet followed by an amazing display of traditional dancing and music.

After that there was an auction of promises, with some very generous prizes donated from local businesses, with all proceeds going to the British Heart Foundation.

The mayor of New Milton, Cllr Mrs Janette Duke was in attendance, and enthusiastically joined in with the Indian dancing lessons.

In total the evening raised ÂŁ1200.00 for the British Heart Foundation.

Mayor of New Milton, Cllr Mrs Janette Duke, taking part in a traditional dance during the British Heart Foundation charity evening at Rivaaz Restaurant

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Kevin Shaw and Associates Chartered Surveyors We are able to offer : Building Surveys RICS Homebuyer Reports Energy Performance Certificates Valuations Development Appraisals Dilapidations Leasehold Reform

We are a firm of independent Chartered Surveyors covering the New Forest and surrounding areas.

With local knowledge and expertise, we offer a professional service with a personal and friendly touch.

Tel: 01590 624880 Mob: 07877 868519 Web: www.shawsurveyors.co.uk

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Hotel Takes Up Innovative Gift Scheme to Support Forest It is estimated over eight million visitors their money through the Visitor Gift come to the New Forest every year to Scheme. enjoy this very special part of the UK. Any other accommodation premises in They all enjoy the area in many different the area that would like to take part in ways and The New Forest Trust came up this scheme would be warmly welcomed. with an innovative way for them to Log on to the web site: express their appreciation and help www.newforesttrust.org.uk maintain this beautiful area for the for more details or e mail direct to future. enquiries@newforesttrust.org.uk.

So the Visitor Gift Scheme was born and The Master Builder’s Hotel is one of the latest hotels to join. The scheme works by the hotel adding £1 to the bill for people staying, if they agree. Unsurprisingly the vast majority were happy to make this contribution and look forward to supporting the New Forest Trust in this way.

Colin Curran, the General Manager of the Master Builder’s Hotel, commented “Our first guests donating to this scheme were really impressed that we at the Hotel care so much for the Forest that we are willing to help support it in this way.”

The money collected is given to the New Forest Trust because it is a charity that can only spend money in the Forest on its conservation.

This is a major reason why Colin Curran from The Master Builder’s Hotel visitors are happy to donate and Petrina Fitzpatrick from the New Forest Trust

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1500 Local People Can’t Be Wrong Moors Valley Country Park near Ringwood has succeeded in getting over 1500 people involved in exercise in just 18 months. Set up in June 2009, Activate 1000 aims to encourage people to undertake 30 minutes or more of moderate exercise at least 3 days a week, in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

The programme is now half way through its three year funding, which is primarily provided by Sport England. It currently offers over 15 different and exciting outdoor activities, which take place at Moors Valley Country Park, Colehill, Ferndown, Verwood, Wimborne and West Moors.

One of the activities run by Activate 1000 is an innovative Buggy Fitness Walk.

These weekly fitness walks offer both parent and child the opportunity to get some fresh air and exercise in the beautiful countryside. As well as a walk around the Park, the sessions also include some more strenuous exercises such as short runs, stomach exercises and leg lunges. Gemma and her nine month old son regularly go on the Buggy Fitness

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Walks. Gemma said, ‘My family don’t live close to me so these walks are really convenient as you don’t have to find alternative child care.’

Karl Prince, Healthy Lifestyle Ranger at Moors Valley Country Park, explained that back in 2007 a new activity was set up – Health Walks. ‘These walks took off really quickly and were hugely popular,’ said Karl. ‘We quickly realised that there was a niche in the market for activities like this and set out to raise funding to create and develop our own programme.’ The scheme now offers activities for everyone regardless of age or ability.

Activate 1000 has so far exceeded expectations and there are high hopes for the future. Karl said, ‘We hope to expand the activities that are already available to make them accessible for even more people.’

Anyone interested in becoming involved in Activate 1000 can email activate1000@eastdorset.gov.uk or call the Moors Valley Rangers on 01425 470721.

Buggy Walkers — Picture: JJ Walker

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VILLAGE VEG Call into Village Veg for all your fruits and vegetables.

We stock a large range of fruit and veg, including locally sourced produce.

Don’t forget we also sell whole foods, eggs, olive oil and pet foods.

72 Brookley Rd, Brockenhurst

Why not place a weekly order with Village Veg? For more details, please talk to Nick on 01590

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622234

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96 out of every 100 people reading this advert are owed thousands of pounds by the Government…

Claim your share now!

The cheque is sitting there with your name on it, but they won’t post it to you unless you claim it.

Owners of Furnished Holiday Lets (FHL) (either in the UK or EEA area) are at the forefront of people owed money by the government. Even the Tax Man admits it – 96 out of every 100 FHL owners are entitled to a large tax rebate, but why?

Capital Allowances for Plant and Machinery When you buy a property, you are allowed to deduct anything between 20% and 40% of the purchase price from your taxable profits. It doesn’t matter if you’re a company or an individual, so if you paid £250,000 for your holiday home, you could be claiming up to £100,000 in capital allowances that your accountant hasn’t told you about.

of the highly successful Portal Financial Services group. We are authorised and regulated by the FSA and have HMRC approval. It is our Chartered Quantity Surveyors, working with your accountants, who will present the claim to the Tax Man. In almost 1,000 cases we have never lost a single one.

To find out if you have a claim, just call us now on 01425 280769 or email David Mitchell on d.mitchell@portaltaxclaims.com You could be paying that cheque into your bank in less than 10 weeks P.S. ...and it’s not just Furnished Holiday Lets that this opportunity applies to! It is ANY COMMERCIAL PROPERTY (Warehouse, shop, hotel, B&B, Care Home, Office etc.)

No Claim – No Fee If your property cost more than £150,000 – even many years ago – you should be in luck … and you can find out free of charge. We operate a ‘No Claim – No Fee’ service, so that if we fail to find at least £25,000 in valid claimable allowances, you will owe us nothing.

Specialist Service from a Specialist Company Most accountants don’t specialise in this area and are therefore likely to overlook your opportunity. Portal Tax Claims is part

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Sunnybrook Signs Specialise in granite & slate

House Signs & Door Plaques

Make tax simple - a low-cost tax and accounts service from the convenience of your own home.

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Visit our showrooms :- Unit 3, 26 Foxbury Road, St Leonards, Dorset, BH24 2SG Or Email :- sales@sunnybrooksigns.co.uk

Tel: 01202 877616 or 07795 470578 www.sunnybrooksigns.co.uk

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Richard Hicken, ATT

01425 612405 07970 558785 simpletaxsolutions62@gmail.com

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New Forest Association Completes Campsite Survey The Verderers commissioned the New Forest Association (NFA) to provide a detailed survey of all the campsites on Crown Land in the New Forest, to create a true ‘base line’ of exactly what is on each individual site.

Since the introduction of campsites on these lands by the Forestry Commission, confusion and disagreement has at times arisen regarding the infrastructure and oth er ph ysical objects within th e campsites, which are now operated under the name of Forest Holidays. The survey results will hopefully ensure that such issues do not arise again.

This survey has now been completed. It is a scientific report containing data showing the distribution of all the mapped features contained within the campsites. These include trees, tree canopies, campsite infrastructure down to the last dragons tooth and ground cover or lack thereof.

For ease of use a printed summary of the main information and maps have been produced which illustrate some of the data contained in the survey. A copy can b e found on th e N FA web site at www.newforestassociation.org.

The survey itself is a strictly factual document, produced for the Verderers as requested, and does not represent the thoughts of the NFA as to the suitability or otherwise of having campsites on the open Forest. The Association does however hope that it might re-ignite discussion on this point.

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Following a formal presentation, the NFA commended this work to the Verderers Court and ask that they work to establish the agreement of all interested parties that it is a totally accurate representation of the campsites as they are now, in order that it may be used as an agreed reference against which any future q u eries or d evelop ments may b e considered.

The survey was carried out with the help, financial and in kind, of the New Forest Verderers, Forestry Commission, Forest Holidays, Natural England, New Forest National Park Authority and the New Forest Trust, and the NFA would like to express their thanks for their help in this.

For further information contact William Ziegler on: chairman@newforestassociation.org

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Mike Kinna Lyndhurst Building & Property Services No Project Too Small

Plumbing & Heating • Pumps & Power Showers

• • • • •

Bathrooms - Kitchens Tiling - Laminate Floors Painting & Decorating - Doors Garden Maintenance & much more.

We turn up when we say we will!

07990 857239 02380 284405 mwkinna@hotmail.com

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Let Us Take The Strain From Your Mailing Campaign!

We specialise in mailing solutions for direct marketing mailshots.

We offer not only enveloping of items, but also polywrapping of catalogues, brochures, newsletters etc.

We have a team vastly experienced in “out of the norm” items, who will hand enclose items that need just a little more work to them.

Print finishing always a possibility too!

We will always work out the cheapest postage costs we can for your mailshot, being accredited for several Royal Mail discount schemes.

Tel: 01202 530753

POSTCARE

Email: sales@postcare.co.uk Unit 5, 502 Wallisdown Rd, Bournemouth, BH11 8PT

mailing solutions

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Xmas Shopping Evening 10th December 2010 6.30 till 10pm Lyndhurst Community Centre In aid of and Entry cost Reg’d charity no: 1114634

£2.00

Stalls include:

Artisan Biscuits

Local Artwork

A Selection of beverages and festive nibbles will be available on the night All money raised from entry and refreshment fees will be going directly to Charlotte’s Fund of Hope & Naomi House

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Brockenhurst Taxis We are totally independent and pride ourselves on the level of customer service we provide!

• • • • • • • • • •

Transport to Weddings, Proms & Functions Cruise & Ferry Terminal Transfers Hotel & Airport Transfers New Forest Tours Courier Service Wheelchair friendly Bike or Hike then Taxi home BTEC and NVQ Qualified drivers Fully licensed by New Forest District Council All credit & debit cards welcomed (pay in car)

Tel: 0800 970 68 63 Mob: 07519 81 40 81 www.brockenhurst-taxis.co.uk

IS IT TIME TO SELL?

STAMPS WANTED LOTS, COLLECTIONS, ACCUMULATIONS, OLD ENVELOPES POSTCARDS, ENGLISH & WORLDWIDE, VICTORIAN SCRAP BOOKS, ALSO COINS/MEDALS, CIGARETTE CARDS

Free Valuation and offer without Obligation Top prices paid with immediate settlement by cash or cheque Make an appointment now Generous introductory commissions paid - Home visits can be arranged.

WE ALSO SELL - Ask for 144 page Price List of G.B. stamps

Contact: Allan Grant, RUSHSTAMPS, P. O. Box One, LYNDHURST SO43 7PP Telephone: (023) 8028 2044, FAX: (023) 8028 2981 Email: enquiries@rushstamps.co.uk Member of the Philatelic Traders’ Society (London) 50 YEARS OF TRADING AT YOUR SERVICE

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November’s Gardening Tips From Paul Chatfield of Chatfield’s Garden & Property Services Fruit In favourable conditions fruit trees can be Trees and Shrubs Always give your plants good thoughts!

November is the best time to plant deciduous trees and shrubs, however be careful with the roots when moving and try not to disturb too much soil.

Climbers and Wall-Plants Many hardy ones such as clematis, jasmine, honeysuckle, Virginia creeper and many other decorative vines may also be planted now. Good planting & supporting methods should be used.

Roses The pruning of most garden roses in the usual bush and standard forms can be carried out now. This is to support the rose over the winter to save from damage.

Borders and Beds The end of the flowering season for herbaceous perennials is a good time to have an end of season clean up.

Bulbs and Corms Tulips and hyacinths if not planted last month can still be done while the ground is still workable, if wet add sharp sand for drainage.

planted, pruning can be started on apple and pears, but cherries, plums and peaches should be left until spring.

Vegetables Make sure gardens are cleared of old growth and get soil conditioned for next year’s crops by enriching it correctly for certain plants.

Greenhouse and Frame Glass needs washing and disinfectant applied. Chrysanthemums should be cut back hard after flowering to produce suckers for use as cuttings.

House Plants To avoid spindly growth give plants plenty of light. On cold nights remove from window ledges. Cyclamen and bulbs should not lack water.

Chatfield’s Garden & Property Services North 2, Sway Storage & Workshops Barrows Lane, Sway, Lymington Hants, SO41 6DD

Tel: 01590 682828 Mobile: 07821 610923

Rock Gardens and Pools Fallen leaves should be prevented from falling into pools and ponds. Also remove them from the rock gardens. Fork and sprinkle sharp sand over surface to prevent fungal attack.

Lawns If planning to produce new lawns from seed, digging should be completed now to allow winter frosts to condition the soil for next spring.

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FOR HOME -- FOR WORK -- FOR YOU FOR HOME >> What a great idea!

Want to clear a shed, get rid of a load of garden waste or maybe clear out an office?

Hire a Eurobin from us. We will deliver the bin and collect and empty it. All you do is wheel it around and fill it up.

We will recycle as much of the waste as possible.

FOR WORK >> For business owners who want to save vital pounds our recycling and general waste weekly collections offer amazing value to you.

It does not stop there, WEEE and Secure Document Shredding are just two more ways we are helping local businesses.

Call Sam Brown on

0808 178 1088 for more details of our services

All aspects of garden & property services including:

Gardening, Landscaping, Property Repairs and Cleaning Domestic & Commercial Home and Garden Minding Service, including a Creative Seamstress Public Liability Insured up to ÂŁ5M Approved Safe Contractor Certified

Contact Paul on

01590 682828 07821 610923 Email: chatfieldpl2@btinternet.com

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North 2, Sway Storage & Workshops Barrows Lane, Sway, Lymington, Hampshire, SO41 6DD

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Everything You Will Need!

CLAREMONT CATERING HIRE • Chairs • Tables • China • Cutlery • Glassware • Linen • Hot Cupboards

01202 600036 Birch Copse, Technology Road, Poole, BH17 7FH

www.claremonthire.co.uk

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The Brockenhurst Guide Prize Wordsearch Bonfire Bonanza!

U A Q N T J Z S T G N Z R M D

Y U E F G S O K O A H B B P D

G E O K U W C I F T F I Y K L

T Z D N Y R U I F H C T S I M

T V P L F H R C E S L U I N O

BANGERS TOFFEE APPLE PARLIAMENT GUY FAWKES SPARKLER

B C Y R A E C M E Y K Z T G K

W H E A W F E H A F V E E J S

X Y Y O K F G D P W G B K A P

T Y R A E E B K P F T Q C M A

G K X L S G O P L Y W X O E R

S S U M H Z C G E A U H R S K

U S D Q P B A N G E R S N H L

K F C C G V E R I F N O B E E

T O L P R E D W O P N U G H R

J K T N E M A I L R A P N W W

ROCKET BONFIRE FIREWORKS KING JAMES GUNPOWDER PLOT

This month’s prize is a surprise hamper, so please complete this page by 24th November and send to: November Prize Wordsearch Name: ______________________ The Brockenhurst Guide, Address: ______________________ 1 Moorlands Rise, ______________________ West Moors, ______________________ Ferndown, BH22 0JR Telephone: ______________________

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WANTED

WANTED

WANTED

WANTED

DISTRIBUTORS WANTED

WANTED

WANTED

WANTED

WANTED

WANTED

If you are local to Brockenhurst and want to earn a little extra money giving out a few hundred Guides a month (or more), then please give Debbie or Stephen a call on 01202 894397. We are looking to boost the numbers in our small team and we would love to hear from you.

WANTED

WANTED

WANTED

WANTED

WANTED

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New Forest Fuchsia Society Why not join us!

Rev. Stewart Timbrell "Dorset Coast (Part 2)" Wednesday November 24th at 7.30pm Lyndhurst Community Centre

Check out our website! www.newforestfuchsiasociety.org.uk or telephone 02380 844240

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NEW FOREST ART SOCIETY The NEW FOREST ART SOCIETY meets between 7.30 - 9.30pm on the third Wednesday of each month in the Pine Room of the Lyndhurst Community Centre.

On 17 November Dennis Hill will be demonstrating a free approach to Watercolour.

There is no meeting of the Society in December.

We next meet on Wednesday 19 January when Jane Puckering will give a workshop on working in charcoal Visitors are always welcome and pay ÂŁ3 at the door or alternatively visit our website at www.nfasoc.co.uk to see our gallery or contact the Membership Secretary, Christine Sinclair on 02380 848766.

QUOTE DP04

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Mrs Matthews’s Mongrel by Judie Jones Mr Matthews never wanted children or pets. So Mrs Matthews was astonished to be presented with a tiny golden bundle of fluff on her 70th birthday and even more astonished when two days later Mr Matthews dropped dead.

Whilst singing Abide With Me, Mrs Matthews could only wonder if Babe, for that is what she’d called the puppy, was feeling lonely on his own and whether she would arrive home after the internment to puddles or worse.

Babe, an offspring of unknown parentage, thrived until at six months was the size of a Shetland pony with feet like dinner plates. His head resembled a Dexter Bull and he smiled, or some said snarled, like a Rottweiler. His appetite was huge, consuming one large tin of Best Beefy Chunks a day, as well as many tit bits. He slept alongside Mrs Matthews at night, which as he grunted and snored with regularity, was much the same as when Mr Matthews had shared the marital bed.

Babe adored children. He’d sit in the park watching them at play; allowing them to pat, squeeze, cuddle and generally maul him, whilst Mrs Matthews looked proudly on.

Babe’s favourites lived next door. Single mother of eight, nicknamed “falls easy” by the locals, permanently had one damp bundle clamped to her breast; in her cavernous womb another ‘mistake’ awaited emergence into the welfare state, whilst the remainder of the squalid tribe milled around. Babe would hang, like a giant fleece, over the dividing fence, watching every movement. “Falls easy” admitted that when the odd father came to claim visiting rights, she was never sure if she handed over the right child.

Babe did not like men. When out with Mrs Matthews, any male that came within distance, would be seriously goosed. This caused huge annoyance, embarrassment and occasionally a frisson of delight to the recipients. His favourite trick was to lie behind the front wall and when a man passed by, would leap up at the gate, emitting blood curdling yowls.

The waiting list for cardiac surgery grew longer.

‘He’ll have to go,’ said the Mayor after Babe attempted to remove the buttons from his fly. ‘Should be put down,’ said the Town Clerk. ‘Slap an

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29 ASBO on him,’ suggested the Planning Officer. ‘Perhaps aversion therapy,’ suggested the local dog handler.

Mrs Matthews was devastated and unsure what to do.

Loud screams emerged from next door. ‘My baby’s gone,’ shrieked a distraught “falls easy”.

The police arrived and with Vicks smeared liberally under their noses, they searched the house and garden. No sign of the infant. A search of the village was organised.

Satisfied that her neighbour was in the safe hands of a female liaison officer, Mrs Matthews took Babe for his afternoon walk. Walking towards the embankment, she heard loud calls of alarm and ran to investigate.

There, crawling up the middle of the railway line was the missing child. Great consternation and hysteria followed the obvious sound of the London to Glasgow express, which was about to round the bend.

Immediately, Babe slipped his collar, galloped full pelt down the embankment and without stopping, hurtled across the railway line, grabbing the dank infant in his cavernous jaws and raced to the other side as the express thundered through.

Babe was a hero. His picture was on the front page of the tabloids. The RSPCA awarded him a medal for bravery and a minor royal was despatched to make the presentation.

On the platform, Babe stood proudly between the duchess and the mayor. His eyes flicked several times towards the nether regions of the mayor; a nasty grin on his face, but the aversion therapy kicked in.

‘Smile please.’ The cameras flashed. Babe was determined to have the last word. With one last leer at the mayor, he calmly cocked his leg.

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Index of advertisers Your quick guide to everyone and everything in your Directory...

Accountants Lashmars ............................................ 7 Simple Tax Solutions ..........................15 Articles 1500 Local People Can’t Be Wrong ....12 Gardening Tips ...................................22 Local landscape shines through in national photography competition ... 4 Hotel Takes Up Innovative Gift Scheme to Support Forest ..............18 New Forest Association Completes Campsite Survey............................. 8 Artists Supplies Litchfield Artists Centre ....................... 5 Catering Equipment Hire Claremont Catering Hire .....................24 Catering Services Sally Curtis Catering ...........................21 Community News New Forest Art Society .......................27 New Forest Fuchsia Society ...............26 Xmas Shopping Evening.....................20 Computer Services KW Computers....................................13 Estate Agents Spencers of the New Forest................32 Food & Drink Setley Ridge Vineyard & Farm Shop....15 Fruit & Veg Village Veg..........................................13 Funeral Directors R Hallum ............................................. 9 Garage Services Gates of Brockenhurst ........................19

Bistro on the Beach ............................ 6 Ocean Bay.......................................... 16 Rivaaz ................................................ 8 The Master Builder’s........................... 11 Insurance Claim Management Aspray ................................................ 19 Job Opportunities Distributors Wanted............................ 26 Kitchens Granite Transformations..................... 3 Photography Shoot Studios ..................................... 27 Picture Framing Litchfield Artists Centre....................... 5 Postal Services Postcare ............................................. 19 Property Maintenance Chatfield’s Property Services ............. 23 Mike Kinna.......................................... 19 Puzzles Prize Wordsearch............................... 25 Sudoku ............................................... 6 Short Story Mrs Matthew’s Mongrel ...................... 28 Signs Sunnybrook Signs .............................. 15 Stamps Rush Stamps...................................... 21 Surveyors Kevin Shaw & Associates................... 9 Tax Claims Services Portal Tax Claims ............................... 14

Garden Services Chatfield’s Garden Services................23

Taxis Allports Taxis...................................... 13 Brockenhurst Taxis............................. 21

Green Energy Solutions Sparking Moggy Solar.........................24

Waste Services War on Waste..................................... 23

Hotels & Restaurants Bankes Hotel.......................................31

Window Cleaners Window Gleam ................................... 5

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SIZZLING DEALS at The Bankes Hotel & Inn The Square • Corfe Castle • 01929 480206

25% DISCOUNT

OFF YOUR TOTAL BILL WITH THIS AD

Yes! This includes all food, drink and wine This is a 25% discount off your total bill when two or more people dine with at least one main course each.

TWO for ONE - £10.95 Two meals for the price of one on the following:

Pork and leek sausage

casserole Steak and ale pie

Beer battered haddock Homemade lasagne Homemade beef burger

BOTH OFFERS COMMENCE 1st NOVEMBER. PLEASE BOOK YOUR TABLE IN ADVANCE QUOTING DP04.

TBG November 2010 page 31

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The Brockenhurst Guide 1 Moorlands Rise, West Moors, Ferndown, Dorset, BH22 0JR TBG November 2010 page 32

Thursday, November 04, 2010 20:57 Black Magenta Yellow Cyan