MARCH 12, 2014 CHELSEA NOW

VOLUME 6, NUMBER 12 MARCH 12, 2014

THE WEST SIDE’S COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER SERVING CHELSEA, HUDSON YARDS & HELL'S KITCHEN

State Leaves Locals Out of RFP Loop

BY SAM SPOKONY Recent actions by New York state officials toward selling major development rights to fund the Moynihan Station project have been called calling an “unwelcome surprise” by local electeds — who are now calling for transparency and adherence to process, as the project goes forward.

Overall, this two-phase plan — run by the Empire State Development Corporation (ESDC), the state’s chief economic development agency — involves constructing a new Amtrak train hall. Named

for late U.S. Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan, its location inside the state-owned Farley Post Office Building (421 Eighth Avenue, between 31st and 33rd Streets) would create an extension of the adjacent Penn Station. Phase One, which consists mainly of underground work, began in 2010 and is expected to be completed in 2016.

In a step toward funding Phase Two, which would transform much of the Farley Building’s interior into a Grand Central-esque termi-

Continued on page 6 Photo courtesy North Shore-LIJ

Speedy CB4 Meeting Delivers

BY EILEEN STUKANE Waiting for a quorum, the Community Board 4 (CB4) full board meeting began a half hour late on Wednesday, March 5. Neighborhood residents, who filled the approximately 75 seats at the Fulton Center Auditorium (119 Ninth Avenue, between West 17th and 18th Streets), were patient until the meeting was called to order at 7pm.

Items on the agenda proceeded routinely as a public hearing for approving the applications of two physical culture establishments, Massage Envy

at 525 West 42nd Street, and BFX (Boutique Fitness Experience) at 555 Sixth Avenue, brought no questions from the community.

The public session began with few speakers signed up to address the crowd.

Without a major presentation from a developer or community group on the docket, it seemed that CB4’s full board meeting would see less action than it usually does — but then, an unpredictable clash arose.

Continued on page 4

A construction worker in a tunnel that leads to the roof of the former O’Toole Building and what used to be a small elevator, which, from the outside, looks like a ship smokestack. Belowground, tunnels that used to link O’Toole to other parts of the former hospital campus are being filled in.

At St. Vincent’s Site, June Opening for HealthPlex Emergency Room

BY LINCOLN ANDERSON The North Shore-LIJ Health System announced on Thursday, March 6, that its new comprehensive-care center under construction in Greenwich Village will be called the Lenox Hill HealthPlex.

Located at Seventh Avenue between West 12th and 13th Streets, the facility, according to a press release, “represents a new model of communi-

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ty-based care that integrates health and wellness services with seamless access to 24-hour emergency care and a full range of medical specialists.”

The first phase of the more than $150 million project is set to open in late June, with the debut of Manhattan’s first freestanding emergency center, which will provide patients with around-the-clock access to board-certified emergency physicians, specialty

trained nurses, specialist consultations and other healthcare professionals.

Future plans for Lenox Hill HealthPlex include imaging services, an ambulatory surgery suite, home care and other programs designed to meet the current and future needs of the community.

Michael Dowling, president and

Continued on page 2

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Work is ongoing to ready the new Lenox Hill HealthPlex ER — in the nautically themed former St. Vincent’s O’Toole Building — due to open by this summer.

Continued from page 1 chief executive officer of North Shore-LIJ Health System, said, “In the shadows of buildings that housed St. Vincent’s Hospital for 160 years, Lenox Hill HealthPlex represents the dawning of a new era of healthcare for West Side residents, who have had to travel out of their neighborhoods to access emergency and other critical healthcare services for the past four years.”

North Shore-LIJ Health System has 16 hospitals across the metropolitan area, including Lenox Hill Hospital and the Manhattan Eye, Ear and Throat Hospital, both on the Upper East Side.

The HealthPlex Emergency Center, which will occupy the first floor of the six-story building, is designed (and will be staffed and equipped) to accommodate up to 45,000 emergency visits annually, according to Dr. John D’Angelo, senior vice president of emergency medicine at North Shore-LIJ. It will serve as a receiving facility for the city’s 911 Emergency Medical System, have 24/7 access to lab services and advanced radiology and include an ambulance to transport patients who need to be hospitalized.

“The advanced life-support capabilities at the facility will enable local residents to receive emergency care at their most critical time of need,” D’Angelo said.

Among other areas of expertise, the HealthPlex will also include sexual-assault nurse examiners who have received special training to perform sexual-assault evidentiary exams for rape victims.

The emergency center anchoring this neighborhood medical complex is “based on a successful model for emergency care being implemented across the country,” according to North Shore-LIJ. “The approach is designed to reduce waiting times and enhance customer convenience

for emergency care that is efficient, accessible and linked to a continuum of care available to all patients, regardless of their ability to pay,” D’Angelo said.

To ensure success, the press release states, Lenox Hill HealthPlex is drawing on the collective knowledge of North ShoreLIJ’s 200 emergency physicians, more than 300 paramedics and emergency medical technicians (EMTs) and roughly 2,000 emergency department staff, who have gained their experience operating 14 emergency departments that treated nearly 665,000 people and transported more than 102,000 patients in 2013.

“Even though the HealthPlex will not open until June, we are already hiring nursing staff, who will undergo intensive training in the coming months,” said Carleigh Gustafson, RN, the health system’s vice president of emergency services and a longtime Lenox Hill nurse.

The HealthPlex will be housed in the historic National Maritime Union Building, which was known for the past four decades as the O’Toole Building. North Shore-LIJ is investing more than $150 million to redevelop the interior of the 50-year-old, Albert Ledner-designed building, while maintaining all of its exterior nautical features.

“We took great pains to respect the architecture of this landmarked building, recognizing the distinctive character of the West Village,” said John Gupta, executive director of the Lenox Hill HealthPlex.

Gupta added that, in addition to “filling a healthcare void on the West Side,” the new medical complex will bring hundreds of new jobs to the neighborhood, giving a boost to small businesses that have suffered in the wake of St. Vincent’s closing.

Among its outreach efforts to the community, the HealthPlex has created a partnership with the LGBT Center on West 13th Street.

Continued on page 19

March 12 - 25, 2014

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At Town Hall, Local Leaders Focus on Vision Zero

BY ZACH WILLIAMS Drivers on the main arteries of Lower Manhattan are on notice, as community leaders announced their support of increased ticketing for those who speed or fail to yield to pedestrians.

Cracking down on such behavior was a main theme at a public forum on February 25 at John Jay School of Criminal Justice. About 100 people attended the town hall, hosted by state Senator Brad Hoylman, who sought to focus discussion on Vision Zero. The initiative was unveiled February 18 by Mayor de Blasio, with the stated goal of eliminating trafficrelated fatalities citywide by 2024. Efforts at the state level, meanwhile, could determine the degree to which the city can control progress toward that goal.

Hoylman announced legislation at the onset of the meeting that would establish “home rule” on reducing the default citywide speed limit to 25 miles per hour, as well as increasing the use of traffic cameras to catch traffic violations. Such matters are currently decided at the state level.

“New York City should not have to go to Albany like a precocious child to change its traffic laws,” said Hoylman, whose district spans from Hudson Square and the East Village to the West 70s.

There was also an emphasis on community outreach at the meeting, which included

officials representing the West Village, where plans to establish a “slow zone” next year have already received the green light. City Councilmember Corey Johnson, who represents the West Village and Chelsea, and formerly chaired Community Board 4 (CB4), said the local community boards are a vital resource on street safety.

“The community board has so much more knowledge and experience,” he said. “They’re hearing from constituents on a daily basis, they’re hearing from people in public sessions at their community board meetings.”

Making streets such as Lafayette and Hudson more accommodating to pedestrians and cyclists would be a high priority under the mayor’s plan, said Polly Trottenberg, the city’s new Department of Transportation commissioner. While 50 new improvements would be made each year to such thoroughfares, “creating a real political force on the ground” would be just as important as increasing lighting, reducing the speed limit and conducting the mass public education drive called for by the plan, she stressed.

“In the end, Vision Zero’s power is really going to be about our collective efforts,” she said.

Last year, 27,747 traffic-related accidents occurred in the New York Police Department’s Manhattan South, which covers the entire borough below 59th Street. Of that total, 1,723

involved injuries to pedestrians, according to department statistics.

Sergeant Amber Cafaro, who represented Manhattan South at the meeting, emphasized that there had been a recent two-week pub-

Hoylman reiterated that Albany remains an obstacle to the city’s control over the fate of Vision Zero, and of the safety of its own streets.

licity blitz aimed at raising safety awareness among pedestrians and cyclists. While she spoke mainly of publicizing the issue, cracking down on careless strollers could be a future possibility.

“One thing we are going to be doing is focusing on jaywalking education,” she said, adding, “We’re not looking to necessarily hand

out summonses.”

The police will also step up efforts to ticket drivers who speed, fail to yield to pedestrians and use cell phones while driving, she added.

But community activists who spoke at the meeting said the stress should be on reining in dangerous drivers. Combating speeding and safeguarding crosswalks is critical, according to Tom DeVito, the Manhattan organizer for Transportation Alternatives.

“People are dying on our streets on a nearly daily basis and we know it’s much more appropriate to be focusing on the actual threat,” he said. He said recent polling supports prosecution in pedestrian fatalities.

Christine Berthet, co-founder of Hell’s Kitchen Coalition for Pedestrian Safety, who also chairs CB4, echoed DeVito, calling for tougher enforcement.

“Forty-four percent of pedestrians who are injured or killed in Manhattan happen to be in the pedestrian crossing and at the green light, and these are the pedestrians I really care about,” she said.

Hoylman reiterated that Albany remains an obstacle to the city’s control over the fate of Vision Zero, and of the safety of its own streets.

“Those who have power, don’t want to give it up,” he said of legislative colleagues reluctant to surrender their authority over municipal traffic regulations.

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March 12 - 25, 2014

Conflict, Comments and Consensus at CB4 Continued from page 1

CORNELL-TECHION PROTESTERS HIT A NERVE

With about 10 members of New Yorkers Against the Cornell-Technion Partnership (NYACT) in the audience, four women from the group rose to address the community.

NYACT is closely aligned with the Palestinian BDS (Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions) National Committee.

Several women held signs indicating that the Partnership of Cornell University and The Technion, Israel Institute of Technology (known as Cornell NYC Tech) — which will eventually be located on a 2.1 million square foot campus on Roosevelt Island — was harmful to Palestinians.

Speaking for NYACT, Terri Ginsberg read from a prepared statement: “The Technion is directly implicated in war crimes...specifically by designing military weapons and developing surveillance technologies, drones, deployed to drive Palestinians off their land...

By formal association, then Google [which is hosting Cornell NYC Tech until its campus is constructed], Cornell and New York City are implicated in war crimes and other crimes against humanity perpetrated by Technion and its affiliates.”

The group was addressing CB4 in particular because Google is headquartered in Chelsea, at 111 Eighth Avenue. Ginsberg requested that CB4 meet with Google executives and “demand that the company divest from this nefarious partnership at once.”

Following Ginsberg, Carol Yost spoke in support of NYACT, saying that the Partnership “got under the wire and it didn’t seem transparent.” Yost concluded her remarks with, “This would be good if Israel were not committing war crimes which are not being reported. We don’t need it in New York City... it’s not for the purpose we had hoped, educating people and promoting science.” It did not take long for a rebuttal to surface.

CB4 board member Brett Firfer took the microphone to remind everyone that March included the happy Jewish holiday Purim.

“One of the main messages that we learn in the holiday Purim is that time and time again, we have our enemies that rise up against us but somehow we prevail. We see this happens constantly,” he said. At that point, Firfer raised a camera and took a photo of the NYACT group. “I’m going to call that the modern face of anti-semitism,” he said.

Yost and another NYACT supporter, Ahmad Shirazi, shouted out “Shame on you.” Shirazi followed with, “You’re an anti-semite.”

CB4 member Hugh Weinberg, moderator of the public session, asked for quiet. Firfer described the Palestinian BDS as “an organization that likes to tell people that it’s critiquing the policies of the state of Israel, but in reality its message is to critique legitimacies against the state of Israel.” He concluded with, “We have a saying, ‘Those who are kind to the cruel in the end, are cruel to the kind.’ ” He received lingering applause.

Following the CB4 meeting, Terri

Photo by Eileen Stukane

Now that’s what a quorum looks like: CB4’s full board meeting started a half hour late, but still wrapped up in near-record time.

Ginsberg posted on NYACT’s website, “NYC Community Board member calls BDS ‘the face of anti-Semitism.’ ” She writes that she “was peremptorily cut off after only one minute by CB4 Chair Hugh Weinberg,” while other speakers were allowed two minutes.

According Chelsea Now’s recording of the CB4 meeting, Ginsberg spoke for almost three minutes, was never interrupted by Weinberg and concluded the reading of her prepared statement with “Thank you.”

SUPPORT FOR BUSINESS DIVERSITY AND OTHER COMMENTARY

Allison Tupper and Kathleen Treat, Chair of the Hell’s Kitchen Neighborhood Association, spoke separately about their support for CB4’s Balanced Business working group in its effort to help bring more diversity of businesses to the community. “We need a children’s clothing store, a surgical supply store, a stationery store.

But every time some place becomes vacant, we get a bar,” said Tupper. Treat expressed her gratitude to the board for working to get more diversified businesses on Ninth and Tenth Avenues “instead of bar, bar, bar, bar.”

While explaining that he is in total agreement about having more diversity of establishments, David Stuart, Co-chair of the West 45th Street Block Association, was there to support longer hours for a bar, Beer Culture.

He emphasized that the owner, Matt Gebhard, was a good neighbor and that the block association had never received a single complaint about the establishment. Later in the evening, the board approved a letter denying a liquor license for Beer Culture unless certain stipulations — among them, that the hours of Beer Culture from noon to 2am, which seem to be the current hours — be met.

Among other announcements, Dorothy Durlach, President of the Senior Advisory Council of the Fulton Center, noted that for anyone over age 60 looking for a job, a workshop, “Job Searching In The Digital Age,” is scheduled for Mondays and Wednesdays, 3-4:15pm, with registration at the Fulton Reception. Durlach also spoke about the need

for stronger law enforcement in relation to bicycle riders as people are fearful of being hit by those cyclists disregarding traffic regulations.

In the public service area, for anyone trying to meet the March 31st deadline for the Affordable Care Act, certified navigators and state certified application counselors are available to help at the Ryan/Chelsea Clinton Community Health Center, 645 Tenth Avenue.

For appointments, call: 212-265-4500. Walkin hours are Wednesday and Friday, 9-11am: 212-316-7961. On another public service topic, CB4 member Delores Rubin urged the community to visit sanctuaryforfamilies.org to learn about its partnering with A Call To Men and the creation of Bystanders No More, to explore how gender violence affects men and boys.

The audience had no questions for any of the speakers.

NEWS FROM ELECTEDS

Both City Council Member Corey Johnson and David Czyzyk representing Assemblymember Richard Gottfried spoke about the proposed sale of 1.5 million square feet of air rights over the James Farley Post Office building on Eighth Avenue between West 31st and 33rd Streets, someday to be the Moynihan [train] Station. It came as a surprise to these elected officials that the Empire State Development Corporation (ESDC) and the Moynihan Station Development Corporation had released a Request For Proposal (RFP) to help fund the second phase of the Station’s development.

Johnson and Gottfried, along with other officials, sent a letter to the ESDC requesting that any identified development site go through the New York City Uniform Land Use Review Procedure (ULURP) and that CBs 4 and 5, the City Planning Commission, elected officials, local residents and the entire City Council be informed about the sale of development rights.

Johnson also reported on the City Council’s Health Committee hearing on the

Health and Hospitals Corporation (HHC) Five Year Plan. HHC had a $1.2 billion budget gap over the last five years, and as Johnson remarked, “They had to take care of that and mostly did some things I’m not happy about, and now they’re projecting over the next five years a $1.4 billion budget gap.” Since the HHC network provides care to the uninsured, Johnson wants to make sure that whatever is done budgetarily does not impact the quality of care of those most in need. He also proposed new legislation in a number of areas. One legislation was introduced with Councilmember Elizabeth Crowley to outlaw the sale of puppies and kittens from unregulated puppy mills throughout New York State. Another bill would require the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene to do an annual reporting of Hepatitis B and C infections — which are near epidemic proportions in many Asian communities as well as other communities of color.

David Czyzyk also noted that Assemblymember Gottfried testified to the New York City Planning Commission in support of Brookfield’s text amendment that allows more open outdoor space for the Manhattan West development site between Ninth and Tenth Avenues, West 31st to 33rd Streets. The developer had presented visuals for the open space at an earlier CB4 full board meeting and Gottfried reiterated CB4’s request to be involved in the decisionmaking as the development moves forward.

Representing New York State Senator Brad Hoylman, Robert Atterbury announced that Hoylman would welcome nominations for “Women of Distinction,” a select group of women honored by the New York State Senate each year for contributing to the enrichment of their communities. The Senate also honors outstanding New York veterans who have distinguished themselves in military and civilian life by inducting them into the “New York State Senate Veterans Hall of Fame.” Hoylman is accepting nominations for both categories. To nominate, send an email to hoylman@nysenate.gov. Please put “Woman of Distinction Nomination” or “Veterans Hall of Fame Nomination” in the subject line. Include in the email, the nominee’s name, address and your reason for suggesting recognition. A nominee should live in the 27th State Senate District. The deadline for nomination is Thursday, March 20.

David Baily, for New York State Senator Adriano Espaillat, noted that the Senator is in constant talks with the New York State Public Service Commission to take action against Verizon for service interruptions and repair delays on landlines in the city. Phone and Internet service has been regularly interrupted in Upper Manhattan. Anyone with Verizon service problems can contact the Senator: espailla@nysenate.gov. Espaillat is also committed to the fight for universal pre-kindergarten which he has labeled a “street fight.”

He is joined in that effort by Manhattan

Continued on page 5

March 12 - 25, 2014

Brief Board Meeting Covers Much Ground

Photo by Eileen Stukane

Dorothy Durlach, president of the Senior Advisory Council of Fulton Houses, speaking on senior issues such as bus transportation and bicycle riders in Chelsea

Continued from page 4 Borough President Gale Brewer, whose rep reports that she is in the process of looking for space in Manhattan for pre-kindergarten venues, and by City Council Member Helen Rosenthal. Jason Harding, reporting for Rosenthal, noted that she had spent the entire previous day in Albany working for universal pre-kindergarten. Rosenthal has also introduced two legislations regarding safety. One is a ban of the “rainbow experiment” in high school chemistry labs that caused severe burning to a student at Beacon High School. Another is a legislation that would require mandatory license suspension and investigation for any taxi driver who kills or causes serious injury to a pedestrian or biker. If it is found that a driver “failed to yield,” his/her TLC license would be permanently revoked. Currently, a driver can be on the road during an investigation.

For Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney, Tricia Shimamura wished everyone a Happy Women’s History Month. She noted that Maloney and Congresswoman Marsha Blackburn are continuing to push for a bill to create a commission that will bring a National Women’s History Museum to the National Mall in Washington DC. No questions arose for the elected officials to answer.

VISION ZERO AND MORE, FROM CB4 CHAIR BERTHET

In her report, CB4 Chair Christine Berthet spoke of being in attendance for the Vision Zero announcement by Mayor de Blasio and City Council Members, a discus-

sion that went on for a full day. The Mayor’s goal is to eliminate traffic fatalities within a decade. “This new policy brings much hope to our neighborhood, where traffic safety is one of the residents’ major concerns,” said Berthet. She explained that the New York Police Department and the Department of Transportation are now working on a plan to implement the 63 suggestions that were offered for inclusion in the Mayor’s Vision Zero Action Plan.

Berthet also spoke of attending meetings with the interim board of the Hudson Yards/Hell’s Kitchen Business Improvement District (BID) which will go from West 30th to West 42nd Streets and from just east of Ninth Avenue to Eleventh Avenue. CB4 member Jean-Daniel Nolan will represent CB4 on the interim board. As well, three tenants from the area (two from affordable housing) will be on the board. Berthet and three other CB4 members will also offer input in the creation of this very large piece of the CB4 district.

Berthet praised the energy and efforts of the four new working groups: Outreach, Openness, Best Practices and Balanced Business, and the tireless dedication and work of the individual CB4 committees’ chairs and members. She asked for applause in recognition of everyone’s “selfless service.”

Votes for approval of 22 items on the agenda, letters relating mostly to Business Licenses and Permits, were accomplished in record time. The meeting was adjourned at 8:05pm. Clocking in at only one hour and five minutes after it officially began, this was — if not a record — certainly a full board meeting of notably brief length.

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March 12 - 25, 2014

Electeds, CB4 Want Farley Building Air Rights to Go Through ULURP Continued from page 1 nal, ESDC released a Request for Proposals (RFP) on February 6, seeking a broker for sales of the building’s 1.5 million square feet of unused air rights. Those sales could lead to more dense development in an area just blocks away from the forthcoming Hudson Yards and Manhattan West projects, which will, respectively, create 17 million and 5.5 million square feet of new mixed-use development.

All responses from potential brokers were received by March 6, and the state plans to choose the contract winner before the end of March, according to the RFP. The problem is that ESDC never informed local elected officials or community board members about that February RFP, leaving them all to learn about it weeks after it had been released.

“It was just wrong for them to send that out without telling any of us,” State Assemblymember Dick Gottfried told Chelsea Now, “and I think they should hold off on proceeding with this until they have consulted with the community.”

He called that lack of communication a “significant departure” from ESDC’s relatively good record on gaining local input during earlier stages of the Moynihan Station project.

Photo by Scott Stiffler

Signage outside of the future Moynihan Station leaves no doubt that it’s a state project.

“I really hope this is not a sign of a new pattern, or a new way of dealing with the community on their part,” Gottfried added.

The assemblymember and five other electeds — U.S. Congressmember Jerrold Nadler, State Senators Brad Hoylman and Adriano Espaillat, Manhattan Borough President Gale Brewer and City

Councilmember Corey Johnson — sent a March 5 letter to ESDC explaining their strong disapproval of the surprising RFP launch. In that letter, they also expressed concerns about the potential for a lack of community input once the Farley Building’s development rights are eventually marketed and sold.

By law, ESDC has the ability to transfer air rights without regard to local zoning laws or the wishes of local stakeholders. But Gottfried and the other electeds called on the state agency to put any air rights transfers through the city’s Uniform Land Use Review Procedure (ULURP) — which would allow for direct recommendations from Community Boards 4 and 5 and the borough president, as well as requiring approval from the City Planning Commission and the City Council before the transfers could go forward.

“Given the volume of air rights available, we strongly believe that community members and urban planners must be included in the earliest stages of identifying appropriate receiver sites [for the air rights],” the March 5 letter read.

The elected officials’ primary concern is that a lack of such inclusion could lead to increasing and unwanted overdevelopment in the area around Penn Station. And alongside their request for ULURP, the local electeds also asked the state to include provisions in its plans that would spread the Farley Building’s air rights outside that immediate area.

The state’s February RFP did not say that future transfers of the development rights will go through ULURP.

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Residents: New Condo Building will ‘Violate the Culture’ of Their Block

BY SAM SPOKONY Well, here’s one way to make an impression on your new neighbors.

Developer Hal Einhorn and his son (and business partner) Yiannes Einhorn are planning to move into two units at the luxury condo building they’re now constructing on West 16th Street — even though many residents of the block are still furious with them over the building’s “insulting” size and facade.

Plans by the Einhorn Development Group (EDG) for the 11-story building at 124 West 16th Street — which will comprise a total of 14 residential units — came about through the purchase of additional air rights from the adjacent French Evangelical Church (at 126 West 16th Street). So a large portion of the condo building will rise directly above the 150-year-old church, while also towering above the rest of the block’s residences, all of which — aside from lots on the corners of Sixth and Seventh Avenues — are only six stories or fewer.

This newspaper first reported that, based on statements by the developer last spring, residents of the block initially believed that the building would only rise to six stories.

It was only upon gaining city approval last December — a year a half after EDG had actually purchased the additional air rights — that the developer told them it was going to be nearly twice that size.

Yiannes Einhorn and Valery Einhorn (the wife of Hal and EDG’s spokesperson) heard the residents’ rage firsthand at a March 6 meeting organized by the 100 West 16th Street Block Association. And some of the harshest words came after the Einhorns confirmed their intentions to live in the new building, which is scheduled to be completed within the next two years.

“People here hate you,” said an irate Mattias Herold, who lives across the street from the development site, at 125 West 16th Street. “And even though you say you are, I wonder whether you’re actually going to live in that building, just because we all really do hate you.”

“Oh, that’s pleasant,” replied Yiannes Einhorn, who’d already been interrupted several times, during his opening remarks about the building, by jeers from the approximately 40 residents in attendance.

Those opening remarks were also followed by groans and pained exclamations after EDG’s architect revealed a rendering of 124 West 16th Street. Unlike the red brick exterior of the church and the surrounding residences, the building’s facade will be made of bluestone (which, contrary to its name, appears gray) and, due to the size of its windows, will feature a relatively large amount of glass.

Upon seeing the image, one block resident yelled, “You’ve got to be joking!”

Another wondered, “Are you out of your mind?” And yet another chimed in, “Not only is it ugly, but it’s totally inappropriate for the block.”

When one woman directly asked Yiannes

Courtesy David Howell Design

If you lived here, you’d be hated by now: A rendering of 124 W. 16th St.

Einhorn if he’d ever walked down the block to see what its current buildings actually look like, the developer said he had.

“Certainly, we looked up and down the block many times,” he said. “We’re very fond of the block.”

Again, jeers from the crowd.

“This is outrageous to us, and we know it’s purely a financial play for you people,” said Doug Halsey, who lives at 130 West 16th Street. “And aside from the aesthetics, the biggest issue here is, why does this have to eclipse the rest of the buildings on the block? Why do you have to shadow our buildings?

“We really do care about this block, and the culture of this block,” he added. “And this building just violates that.”

Halsey and the other residents in attendance repeatedly urged the developer to consider lowering the building to six stories — one woman in the crowd said she would even be happy with eight or nine stories.

Yiannes Einhorn replied by saying that it’s “very unlikely” that he would consider reducing the height of the building, “because it’s not financially viable.”

Steve Dycus, another resident of 130 West 16th Street, countered that statement by claiming that the developer is already reaping a huge financial benefit on the backs of longtime tenants who have helped make the block so attractive to newcomers.

“The reason this project is going to be so profitable is because it’s able to export, or externalize, costs onto the neighborhood,” said Dycus. “We are, in other words, helping to subsidize this project.”

As the meeting continued that night, all of Einhorn’s comments simply seemed to further spur the block residents toward taking any possible action against the project.

“We’re going to fight this, we’re going to picket as much as we can within legal limits, and we’re going to make this as hard on them as possible,” said Halsey. “And it’s

not just to say ‘F—k you.’ We’re fighting for our homes.”

With all that resentment pouring out, the reporter later raised the question again with the developer — do you really still plan to move in at 124 West 16th Street?

“We intend to live in the building,”

Valery Einhorn told Chelsea Now in a March 10 email.

And although the planned building, with its transferred air rights approved by the city, is an entirely “as of right” develop-

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March 12 - 25, 2014

More Park Air Rights Mean More Safeguards Are Needed TALKING POINT

BY ANDREW BERMAN Sometimes you don’t want to be right. One of those times was at the February 12 Land Use Committee meeting of Community Board 2. It was there that Madelyn Wils, the Hudson River Park Trust’s president, finally provided an answer to a question I and others had long been asking about the Hudson River Park air rights provision passed by the state Legislature in 2013.

Wils acknowledged that, yes, as we had feared, the legislation did arguably create many more transferable air rights, and from a much broader swath of the park, than we were originally told — not only from the nine “commercial piers” within the park (ones like Chelsea Piers, where some commercial development is allowed and there is little or no park space), but from the more than a dozen other recreational-use park piers, as well.

In effect, this means that, in addition to the roughly 1.6 million square feet of air rights we were originally told the legislation allowed to be transferred inland for new development, the new law actually creates hundreds of thousands, and possibly millions, of additional square feet of air rights and development potential.

Wils tried to assure us all that this would never happen — that neither she nor the city would ever entertain the use of air rights from these noncommercial piers. That was nice to hear, but as the old saying goes, that and a token gets you on the subway.

Neither Wils nor any of the other current players will be in charge of their respective agencies forever; even if they were, a verbal assurance such as this is hardly a guarantee, especially when hundreds of millions of dollars of potential real estate development and profit are at stake. And certainly in recent years we have seen many city officials go back on their word and approve land-use deals that they not only pledged to oppose, but that we might have never dreamed possible.

This is a vivid reminder that the air rights legislation passed by our local state legislators creates an enormous potential for vastly increased development along our waterfront.

A certain, limited use of air rights to generate needed revenue for the park might be appropriate in some cases. But the legislation currently simply creates a vast pool of possibilities, and leaves it up to city officials to decide how and when they can be used — city officials who have, in the past, given us the NYU expansion plan, the St. Vincent’s/Rudin rezoning and the Chelsea Market upzoning.

That is why it is critical that we insist that safeguards and limits be put in place now to prevent future overuse and abuse of this openended air-rights provision, and to protect our neighborhood from overdevelopment.

The Greenwich Village Society for Historic Preservation, along with a coalition of Village, Downtown and Chelsea community groups, including the Council of Chelsea Block Associations and Greenwich Village Block Associations, representing nearly every block association in those areas, as well as nearly every Democratic club from Chelsea to Tribeca, are calling for three principles to be

included in any plan for moving ahead with use of air rights from the park.

First, extinguish all air rights from the noncommercial piers. If, in fact, no one ever intends to use these air rights, this should be a no-brainer. There is no reason why park piers, which are actual park space, should have development rights that can be transferred inland. The same state legislators who approved the original air rights plan — Assemblymembers Glick and Gottfried, and state Senators Hoylman and Squadron — should draft and pass new legislation that disallows air-rights transfers from these piers and other parts of the park. And the City Council and City Planning Commission should rezone those parts of the park to eliminate any development rights.

Second, pursue measures to fund the park without upzoning our neighborhood and increasing development along our waterfront. Perhaps the scariest thing about the air rights transfer plan is it makes funding the park dependent upon increasing the size of allowable development in our neighborhood, above and beyond the already substantial size of development currently allowed. But there are ways to fund the park without upzoning and overdeveloping our neighborhood. These include assessing a fee on all new nearby development to fund the park; pairing any air-rights transfer with a downzoning, so that the allowable amount of new development is not increased as a result; and attaching air-rights transfers to a change in allowable use, rather than an increase in allowable size (i.e. allowing development of a 10-story residence instead of a 10-story hotel as part

of an air-rights transfer, rather than increasing the allowable size of a hotel development from 10 to 15 stories, as the current thinking would require).

Third, make any use of air rights dependent upon meeting agreed-upon definitions of financial need for the park. The purported purpose of the air-rights legislation is to fund the construction and maintenance of the park, but the amount of air rights created could generate vastly more revenue than necessary for doing so.

Currently, there is nothing in the legislation saying that air-rights sales must stop when the park’s financial “needs” are met. Therefore, it is critical that a standard be established for defining what the park’s real financial “needs” are that the air-rights sales are supposed to address. No air-rights sale proposal should be allowed to advance through the public review and approval process if it does not first meet this established “needs” test.

Now will likely be our one chance to put in place the limitations needed to ensure that air-rights sales are not misused in the future and do not result in overdevelopment of our waterfront. If we don’t insist upon these measures from the beginning, we are setting ourselves and our neighborhood up for disaster. Powerful real estate forces can and no doubt will find a way to ensure that every one of the millions of square feet of development that this legislation allows in our neighborhood is used. And once approved, it will be impossible to reverse.

Berman is executive director, Greenwich Village Society for Historic Preservation.

Clearing the Air on Transferring Park Air Rights TALKING POINT MADELYN WILS Andrew Berman, the executive director of Greenwich Village Society for Historic Preservation, raises concern over whether a recent amendment to the Hudson River Park Act would allow the park to sell unused development rights from our public piers, to support Hudson River Park.

As we have discussed with the community in the past, the bill signed into law in November allows us to sell unused development rights pursuant to local zoning ordinances. This means that at present, the Hudson River Park Trust has NO air rights to sell and NO ability or mechanism to transfer them. The amount of air rights available for potential sale, as well as the method for transferring them, must and will be developed within a ULURP process involving Community Boards 1, 2 and 4, and many elected officials. At recent meetings at each of the three community boards, we all agreed to work closely together on the detailed planning and ULURP processes

required to create an air rights district.

Community partnership and support are quite simply essential if we are to succeed in ensuring the future of the park.

At the February 12 Community Board 2 Land-Use Committee meeting and previously at Community Board 4, I stated that although the amended legislation is not explicit about restricting transfers only from commercial piers, the Trust would never seek to argue that public park piers have unused air rights.

In fact, as the entity with primary legal responsibility for interpreting and adhering to the Hudson River Park Act, the Trust has concluded that park-use-only piers are legislatively restricted from transferring air rights.

The November legislation did not change aspects of the original legislation that make this clear.

While the public park piers do retain their underlying zoning (M2-3), there are multiple provisions of the park act that would together prohibit a transfer argument from park piers.

Beyond the restrictions on use that limit certain specified piers to park uses only (and therefore no commercial development, and therefore, by inference, no claim of unused development rights), another provision lim-

its the size of structures on park piers to 10 percent of the surface area, eliminating any unused FAR argument on those piers.

In addition, Mr. Berman proposed several ideas in his letter, and the Trust looks forward to discussing some of them with City Planning when we have the opportunity to do so. But, as I said at the CB2 meeting, over the 10 years since the first section of the park opened, properties along the corridor have repeatedly received upzonings and variances from the city, from value largely created by Hudson River Park, yet with no benefit to the park.

It is clear that the transfer-of-developmentrights concept is NOT what is incentivizing developers to rezone their properties.

The Trust believes that creating a welldeveloped plan that governs the whole district along the park’s corridor would be a more thoughtful and predictable way to approach development than the piecemeal approach that has been the practice to date. Our goal is to work with the communities and city to develop a policy that prohibits developers within the defined park corridor from securing approvals for upzonings or changes of use to residential unless they are required to buy air rights from Hudson River Park. Such a

policy would create a financial benefit to the park while also reducing future commercial development within the park.

We believe the agendas of our two organizations are much the same. At heart, the Hudson River Park Trust and the Greenwich Village Society for Historic Preservation, as well as the other organizations that have signed Mr. Berman’s most recent letter, are trying to protect a part of the city that we all love. We also believe that the physical fabric of the neighborhoods has to be protected, and that the park itself is part of that fabric. It is heartening to know that the signatories to Mr. Berman’s letter recognize that Hudson River Park, which is both incomplete and underfunded, faces huge financial challenges and that some new ways of thinking are required to address those needs.

Moving forward, the Trust aims to keep dialogue open, and hopes to work together, as we navigate these ideas and others in pursuit of our common objective: the preservation and sustainability of the West Side and its backyard.

Wils is president and CEO, Hudson River Park Trust.

March 12 - 25, 2014

9

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Cheers for CCBA’s coordinated effort

Post office of the future?

To The Editor: Re “Improving Conditions, Through Combined Block Power” (news, March 12): Great article about how community organizations can work with elected officials, businesses and others to improve things. Thanks to Bill Borock and the CCBA for all of their efforts on behalf of Chelsea residents.

To The Editor: Our post offices play a vital role for people who cannot afford private mail options. Many depend on them for their contact with the outside. They are community resources.

The Office of the Inspector General (OIG) proposed a way to keep this vital function while offering much-needed services, especially to financially strapped customers.

Senator Warren has concurred.

The statistics are outrageous: More than a quarter of all U.S. households (roughly 68 million Americans) spent about $89 billion in 2012 on interest and fees for non-bank financial services (payday loans, check-cashing, etc.), an average of $2,412 per household.

Poor Americans spend roughly 10 percent of their income on basic banking services. Many banks offered, in essence, payday loans, with annual interest rates of more than 300 percent.

Under the OIG plan, in addition to selling stamps and processing mail, the post office would offer prepaid cards, allowing users to pay bills online and withdraw

Phyllis Waisman

Where the beef was To The Editor: Re “Google Wants Cut of Meatpacking BID as Residents Stew” (news, Feb. 26): Meat Market activities used to extend up Ninth Avenue to 15th Street. There was a chicken wholesaler next door to what is now the Porter House, and the Wells Fargo bank space used to be a taxi company — not meatrelated, but the kind of business that operates in not-sofancy neighborhoods.

On the ground floor of what is now the Apple Store, there used to be a fish wholesaler and a food counter that catered very much to the meatpackers. So did Nick’s Diner, on the corner of 14th and Ninth.

I live on 15th Street between Eighth and Ninth Avenues, and I tell people I live in the Meatpacking District.

Jim Jasper

A way to fund pre-K To The Editor: The governor and the mayor may be able to compromise on pre-K funding by granting the city limited taxing authority to cover only any verified funding deficit not covered by state funds. A budgetary mechanism for financing along these lines might be difficult to achieve, but the goal of universal full-day pre-K is worth the effort.

Jules Kohn

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READER COMMENTS FROM CHELSEANOW.COM Peer counseling a powerful model To The Editor: Re: “Identity House: A Half-Century of Love” (news, Feb. 12): Congratulations Lee & Lucy for showing us the power of love in so many ways! Thank you Lee for all your work fighting for Identity House! I really believe in the peer counseling model! The peer counseling model is truly powerful. It really helps you to build trust, relate and connect with your fellow peers in the short amount of time you have at the walk-in center. It teaches you so much about yourself and how to share your experiences with others. Amazing work! I miss you all!

Elisa

Their courage strengthened our community To The Editor: Re: “Identity House: A Half-Century of Love” (news, Feb. 12): Thank you to these courageous women. Without their vision, the community would not have gained such a strong foothold on the mental health required to fight for equality and freedom for so many years.

And with such a shortage of women mentors and role models, they have moved so many lesbian women out of the closet and into the roles of leadership in all walks of life that we are so gifted at holding. Many blessings and mazel tov.

Lynn

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THE WEST SIDE’S COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER

money at ATMs, as well as perform check-cashing, small international money transfers, small loans and bill paying. The post office would also develop services to let customers save and borrow money.

But banks object. They make money off low-income Americans. The median overdraft charge is $34 at large banks and $30 at smaller financial institutions. Banks made an estimated $32 billion in overdraft fees in 2012.

Other countries have done this, and OIG says that if even 10 percent of what underserved Americans pay on bank interest and fees went to the U.S. Postal Service, it would generate $8.9 billion in new revenue per year.

Member of the National Newspaper Association Chelsea Now is published biweekly by NYC Community Media LLC, 515 Canal St., Unit 1C, New York, NY 10013.

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10

March 12 - 25, 2014

Community Council Takes on Trucks, Tricks and Preventative Tips

BY SCOTT STIFFLER Held on the last Wednesday of the month, the 10th Precinct’s Community Council meetings provide area residents with an opportunity to ask questions, voice concerns and receive information about local crime trends as well as NYPD efforts to address ongoing problems.

Captain David Miller, the precinct’s commander, opened the February 26 meeting by reporting that grand larceny crime is “still going down tremendously. People are starting to hold onto their property,” he noted, in reference to the vast majority of criminal complaints filed at the 10th Precinct — from those who’ve had coats, phones, bags and purses stolen from restaurants or clubs (often a result of leaving that property unattended).

Grand larceny incidents have decreased 19.1 percent from this time last year (106 v. 131), although petty larceny increased 4.1 percent (127 v. 122). Attempting to prevent an annual uptick of domestic thefts that occur in the spring, Miller asked residents (especially those whose apartments are accessible by fire escape) to resist the temptation to leave their windows open, when sleeping or exiting the apartment (even for a few minutes).

Peter McManus Cafe Bar & Grill

Several people in attendance, many who’ve expressed this concern at the past several Council meetings, again asked Miller what was being done to decrease prostitution and drug dealing that, they asserted, is associated with 24-hour, adult video stores along Eighth Avenue.

Miller specified that his precinct is only able to respond to activity on the street and in private residences. Occurrences in retail establishments, he noted, are the domain of the NYPD’s specialized Vice Enforcement Division. Anyone with a concern about prostitution or narcotics is encouraged to call 646-610-6610.

“You’re asking us to play detective,” said a woman. “I’ll think twice before I call you, because I have a family.” Frank Meade, the Council’s recording secretary, noted that the 646 number is “not a recorded line. You can remain anonymous.”

A longtime resident, recalling the Times Square porn glut of the 70s, wondered if the same mid-90s zoning ordinance passed by the City Council could be used to shutter today’s Eighth Avenue counterparts. Miller noted that the legislation was overturned on appeal, then responded to a comment

that the NYPD (and anyone with eyes) “knows” who’s in the area to hustle. “We can’t just stop somebody from walking down the street or going into a store,” Miller said, adding, “The stores are part of the community.” His general question to the audience, asking if there had been a “change on Eighth Avenue” regarding these quality of life complaints, was met with affirmations.

“These people are getting arrested,” said Jeff Hobbs, deputy director of the Midtown Community Court (314 W. 54th St., btw.

Eighth & Ninth Aves.). He encouraged the public to attend on Tuesdays, when the court’s Prostitution Calendar conducts arraignments for these offenses (call 646-264-1300 for more info). Hobbs noted that the court works to ensure those arrested are given access to social services — in particular, treatment for the substance addiction that drives many into prostitution. At the meeting’s conclusion, a Vice officer was available to speak, one-onone, with attendees.

On the matter of another perpetual concern — illegal truck traffic on side streets — Miller

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CRIME STOPPERS If you have info regarding a crime committed or a wanted person, call Crime Stoppers at 800-577-TIPS, text “TIP577” (plus your message) to “CRIMES” (274637) or submit a tip online at nypdcrimestoppers.com.

reported that the 10th Precinct is still engaged in ticketing, particularly on West 17th and 19th Streets. “People feel there’s been a 30 percent decrease” in trucks, he said. A representative from the newly formed 300 West 18th/19th Street Block Association noted that Detective Mike Petrillo attended their most recent meeting, where “a lot was accomplished” on matters of shared interest. He added that the Association was “looking for a way for commercial buses to be added to the signs” prohibiting truck traffic on side streets.

If you would like to join the Community Council mailing list, call the Community Affairs office: 212-741-8226.

THE 10th PRECINCT Located at 230 W. 20th St. (btw. 7th & 8th Aves.). Commander: Captain David S. Miller. Main number: 212-741-8211.

Community Affairs: 212-741-8226. Crime Prevention: 212-741-8226. Domestic Violence: 212-741-8216. Youth Officer: 212-741-8211. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-741-8210. Detective Squad: 212741-8245. The next Community Council meeting, open to the public, takes place at 7pm on Wed., March 26.

THE 13th PRECINCT Located at 230 E. 21st St. (btw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.). Deputy Inspector: Ted Bernsted. Call 212-477-7411. Community Affairs: 212-477-7427. Crime Prevention: 212-477-7427. Domestic Violence: 212477-3863. Youth Officer: 212-477-7411.

Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-477-4380.

Detective Squad: 212-477-7444. The Community Council meeting takes place at 6:30pm on the third Tues. of the month.

March 12 - 25, 2014

11

Abs are the Core of a Strong Foundation and hold your knees. To keep the spine neutral, be sure not to draw your knees too close to your chest (let them hang naturally). From this position, slowly rock side-to-side to help release muscle tension in your back. You can turn your head side to side to also release any tension in your neck.

UP & DOWN ALTERNATES

IN & OUTS

Photo by Devon Cormack Photo by Sue Johnson

BY TEAM HEAT (Devon Cormack & Heather Hardy) Team Heat would like to guide you through a set of the abdominal exercises that are part of our everyday strengthening routine. A boxer’s foundation of power comes from a strong core. We ground ourselves by tightening and strengthening the psoas muscle, to deliver strong punches while planted on the floor — and also to be able to absorb any punches that come our way.

We do these types of exercises for two reasons. First and foremost, they strengthen muscle groups that are not used in everyday life. Muscle fibers found in the obliques (the bananashaped muscles that extend around your sides, from the back to the torso) rarely get used unless we hone in on them using specific movements. The second reason? The six pack!

While these exercises will help, you must lose the extra layer of fat over your killer abs in order to see great definitions. That will only go away through proper diet and a regular fitness routine. By making ab work a part of that routine, the stomach and lower back will get much stronger — and, hopefully, give you many pain-free years to come.

Start in the home position and alternate your legs from the torso, up and down, 40 times. Do not bend the knees! Do this for 40 counts.

Photo by Devon Cormack

Start in the home position, then draw your knees into your chest and kick them straight back out. Do three sets of 10.

TOE TOUCHES / KNEE TOUCHES

LEG CLAPS

THE V SERIES Photo by Devon Cormack Photo by Devon Cormack

Start in the home position, then clap your feet together horizontally, opening and closing for 40 counts.

CROSSOVERS

Again with the “V” of the body staying as stationary as possible, touch the floor with both hands before extending to touch the toes (touch floor then knees, as an alternate). Do three sets of 10.

Start in the home position, and like the previous exercise, open and cross your legs horizontally — right over left, then left over right. Do not bend your knees! Do this for 40 counts.

Devon Cormack and Heather “The Heat” Hardy work as personal trainers, while prepping for fights — at Gleason’s Gym (77 Front St., Brooklyn). UBF Super Bantamweight International Champion Hardy, a single mom, is currently a professional boxer with an 8-0 (and 2 KO) record. Before turning pro, she won championships in Muay Thai and Kickboxing. As a Golden Gloves contestant, she won silver in 2011 and gold in 2012 (125-pound division). Her next fight is March 21, at Brooklyn’s Aviator Sports and Events Center. Chelsea resident Devon Cormack is a three-time World Kickboxing Champion who coordinates fight scenes for film & TV. If you have a fitness or nutrition question, send an email to askteamheat@chelseanow.com. Visit heathertheheathardy.net and facebook.com/TheHeatHeatherHardy. Also visit gleasonsgym.net.

Photo by Devon Cormack

This set of exercises is done while balanced on the tailbone, with the legs extended out and up, without bending the knees.

From the side, you should look like the letter V. This is the home position, from which each exercise will start. They especially work the stomach, lumbar (lower back) and legs.

To increase stability and support the lower back, drop your hands to the floor. You will also want to position yourself on a yoga mat (a towel works just as well), to prevent bruising on the tailbone.

Resting between sets is important. Lay down on your back

Photo by Devon Cormack

12

March 12 - 25, 2014

CHELSEA: ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Buhmann on Art

BY STEPHANIE BUHMANN stephaniebuhmann.com

Image courtesy of the artist and Loretta Howard Gallery

Installation shot, from “David Row: There and Back.” Left: “Pooka” (2014, Oil on canvas, 84 x 148 inches). Right: “Concentric Blues” (2013 Oil on canvas, 67 x 116 inches).

Image courtesy of the artist and Lesley Heller Workspace

Image courtesy of the artist and Lesley Heller Workspace

Katherine Newbegin: “Room 11 (Phnom Penh, Cambodia)” (2009, Digital C-Print, 30 x 40 inches). Part of “Vacant,” at Lesley Heller Workspace, March 16-April 20.

Katherine Newbegin: “Hotel Turist (Chisinua, Moldova)” (C-Print, 2007, 40 x 50 inches). Part of “Vacant,” at Lesley Heller Workspace.

DAVID ROW: THERE AND BACK

11th Aves.). Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-6pm.

Call 212-695-0164 or visit lorettahoward.com.

Row’s first New York solo show in years features stunning shaped canvases and related works on paper. While their unusual polygonal form is new for the artist, the compositions still reflect his signature abstract vocabulary. For decades, Row has employed heavily worked layers of lush oil paint to gradually form intriguing networks of marks, lines and curvilinear bands. Still rooted in this tradition, these paintings also reveal a new sense of

clarity and dynamism. While saturated, they are primarily monochrome, highlighting their overall geometric as well as graphic quality.

The shaped canvases of Ellsworth Kelly and Leon Polk Smith are aesthetic reference points — but Row proves that he has a hand and eye that are clearly his own. It is exciting to see his work properly featured again, coming back with a splash.

Through March 29, at Loretta Howard Gallery (525-531 W. 26th St., btw. 10th &

KATHERINE NEWBEGIN: VACANT

For the past nine years, Newbegin has photographed vacant spaces of leisure, travel and transitional occupancy. She tracked down numerous gigantic Soviet-era hotels for example, which were built by the government for nation-building purposes and which were often used as a reward for the best workers

of the Soviet Union. Since then, they have become obsolete relics. All of the spaces Newbegin photographs still reflect traces of the human activities that have taken place in them.

It is this glimpse of realities past that provides these pictures with a distinct eerie quality.

March 16-April 20, at Lesley Heller Workspace (54 Orchard St., btw. Hester & Grand Sts.). Hours: Wed.-Sat., 11am-6pm, Sun. 12-6pm. Reception: March 16, 6-8pm.

Call 212-410-6120 or visit lesleyheller.com.

March 12 - 25, 2014

Buhmann on Art REBECCA MORGAN: NO CHURCH IN THE WILD

Morgan originally hails from a small Pennsylvania farm town, and her paintings and cartoon-drawings depict the culture clash she encountered after moving to New York.

Her characters often reflect the stereotypes of crude and uncultured rural redneck Appalachia. Devoid of romance, her paintings reflect both a constant critique and defense of rural living.

Through March 29, at Asya Geisberg (537B W. 23rd St., btw. 10th & 11th Aves.). Hours: Tues.-Sat., 11am-6pm. Call 212675-7525 or visit asyageisberggallery.com.

Photography by Asya Geisberg Gallery, image courtesy of the artist & gallery.

“Green Face Jug” (2014, Glazed Earthenware, 9.5" x 6" x 5.5").

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March 12 - 25, 2014

Defining Class, After the Market Crashed FIT exhibit puts extravagant elegance in its proper context

BY SCOTT STIFFLER Whether under glass or just out of reach, you’ll long for their touch — but where would you go, really, if you had access to these sleek, elegantly crafted, extraordinarily detailed garments that transform a well-proportioned body into a walking work of art?

The red carpet comes to mind. It’s just too bad that Oscar’s recent fashion victims didn’t

FASHION ELEGANCE IN AN AGE OF CRISIS: FASHIONS OF THE 1930s

draw from the lavish collection currently on display at The Museum at FIT. They’d have avoided the wrath of Joan Rivers, while reminding us that escapist design can be about much more than wearing a dress made of meat or resembling a swan.

Set in the era between the stock market crash of 1929 and the outbreak of war in Europe in 1939, “Elegance in an Age of Crisis: Fashions of the 1930s” dazzles with its millinery, footwear, swim suits, Hollywood glamour, evening wear and athome ensembles.

It’s also a top-notch history lesson that ties 1930s fashion into everything from Art Deco architecture to the emergence of a 40-hour work week to the legacy of the previous decade’s rising hemlines. Displayed in two dimly lit rooms “designed to evoke the

restrained style of the era,” most of the clothing on display looks showroom new — but the eight shoes worn by Hollywood hoofer Fred Astaire, with their split leather and scuff marks, give the exhibit time capsule cred to burn.

Other sources of context abound. “The 1930s was a time of grand transformations,” one placard tells us, “when fashion truly began to reflect the streamlined art moderne aesthetic.” Elsewhere, the curators acknowledge the “compelling irony that the elegant and progressive qualities of 1930s fashions emerged during one of the most tumultuous periods of modern western history. Yet despite these crises — or maybe in reaction to them — culture during the Great Depression was not only elegant, but also buoyant, effervescent and escapist.”

Free Through April 19 At The Museum at FIT Seventh Ave. at 27th St., southwest corner Courtesy of The Museum at FIT

This Gardner and Wooley LTD velvet and satin smoking jacket (1936, London) is from the collection of Alan Bennett, Davies and Son.

Hours: Tues.-Fri., 12-8pm, Sat., 10am-5pm For info, visit fitnyc.edu/museum Twitter: @MuseumatFIT

sound bar @ the live gallery café The perfect kickoff to your week.

FREE Music at 7pm Drink Specials from 6-9pmm Trio Azul – Mar 17 Mina Yu & Aurora Artega – Mar 24 Wily Fire – Mar 31 Join us at the Live Gallery Café in our lobby for live music and happy hour specials on Mondays in March. Presented in association with LE TRAIN BLEU and the Manhattan School of Music.

newyorklivearts.org 219 West 19th St. Photo: Marco Sator, Courtesy of Artist

Courtesy of The Museum at FIT

Joan Crawford wore this wool evening dress and capelet with bugle beads in 1937’s “The Bride Wore Red.”

March 12 - 25, 2014

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All the City’s a Stage, its Pedestrians Major Players Pillsbury’s long exposures slow the urban swarm

© Matthew Pillsbury, courtesy Bonnie Benrubi Gallery

© Matthew Pillsbury, courtesy Bonnie Benrubi Gallery

“Sitting on the High Line, New York, Thursday, November 10, 2011.”

PHOTOGRAPHY CITY STAGES: PHOTOGRAPHS

BY MATTHEW PILLSBURY Through March 27 At Aperture Gallery 547 W. 27th St. Btw. 10th & 11th Aves. (4th Floor) Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am-6pm Aperture recently published Matthew Pillsbury’s book, “City Stages” Call 212-505-5555 or visit aperture.org

BY NORMAN BORDEN Matthew Pillsbury is a photographer with a unique vision of contemporary metropolitan life. For the last decade or so, he’s been taking long exposure, large format (8x10 inch film) black and white photographs that compel viewers to slow down and smell the roses, so to speak — or at least take a closer look at their urban environment.

His current exhibition features 31 images selected from three bodies of his work: “Private Lives,” “Hours” and “City Stages.” Together, they illustrate how urban spaces serve as a backdrop, or stage, for a city’s source of energy: its inhabitants. With his tripod-based view camera — and using exposures that can last well over an hour — Pillsbury lets us view human activity in a palpable way. The time exposures allow us to see individuals interacting in their bedrooms or living rooms, or the isolation they experience in front of TV or computer screens.

He shows us huge, blurred crowds of people swarming against recognizable cityscapes, land-

marks and interior spaces.

Although most of the pictures were taken in New York, Pillsbury also photographed sites in Paris, London, Venice and other cities. Nothing is lost in translation. In the Louvre, a blurry mass of visitors crowd around and walk past the Mona Lisa — who remains motionless, still unsmiling and oblivious to her admirers.

I’ve watched (and photographed) the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade many times, but Pillsbury has captured it in an unexpected and original way. His camera is perched above the crowds, with the rock-steady buildings along Seventh Avenue a stage for the blurred masses, mostly faceless because of their activity. Even more interesting are the marchers and balloon handlers directly in front. Their balloon’s movement makes it look more mysterious, while hiding its identity.

“Sitting on the High Line” adds a new perspective to one of New York’s most popular and iconic destinations. Shooting at night, Pillsbury creates a new cityscape by using the sunken overlook at West 17th Street and the buildings behind them as a stage. The long exposure makes the two people sitting on the steps transparent, while the two (look closely for them) in the first row are ghost-like. One or two ghostly figures seem barely visible in the facing windows. The night setting and the graphic effect created by the crisscrossing lines enhance the image’s strength. It’s one of my favorites.

The artist adds another perspective to the “Tribute of Light, New York,” the muchphotographed twin beams of light that shine above each year to commemorate the events of 9/11. Photographing them from the Brooklyn Heights Promenade, his long exposure captures people walking past, including the tripods set up by other photographers. They’re all transformed into ghost-like figures, which add a mournful touch to a sad event.

In Pillsbury’s “Screen Lives” series, the artist took long exposures of friends in their apartments while they were sitting in front of their

“Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, New York, 2011.”

televisions or computer screens. When interviewed by the School of Visual Arts magazine, he explained that he grew up in France and wasn’t allowed to watch TV. He said, “I realized the role these objects (TV and computers) were playing and the time we’re spending with them.” He then began taking long exposures that would last as long as a TV program and show how people interact with the screen.

One example is “Tanya and Sartaj Gill, CSI: Miami, New York, Monday, November 25, 2002, 10:00–11:00 p.m.” Over the course of the hour, the couple on the couch has barely moved — their empty dishes and cake plate on the coffee table, the scene lit by the TV’s glow and ambient light from outside. While the cityscape as seen from the windows looks vibrant, they seem isolated from it.

There’s more to see and savor in this

show: images of Occupy Wall Street protesters in Zuccotti Park, the sweet joys of Economy Candy on the Lower East Side, crowds swarming among the motionless dinosaurs in the American Museum of Natural History, more images of the artist’s family life and self-portraits.

Take your time. After all, Matthew Pillsbury did.

Norman Borden is a New York-based writer and photographer. The author of more than 100 reviews for NYPhotoReview.com and a member of Soho Photo Gallery and ASMP, he currently has an image from the 2013 Village Halloween Parade in the juried show, “Masquerade,” at the New Orleans Photo Alliance Gallery. See more at normanbordenphoto.com.

© Matthew Pillsbury, courtesy Bonnie Benrubi Gallery

"Dinosaur Coming to Life, American Museum of Natural History, NY, 2004."

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March 12 - 25, 2014

On the Glories of ‘Homicide Hunter’

Impossibly sedate Lt. Joe Kenda has true crime charisma to burn

Images Courtesy of Investigation Discovery

He hunts the homicidal: Lt. Joe Kenda hails from central casting.

TELEVISION LT. JOE KENDA: HOMICIDE HUNTER On Investigation Discovery Channel 23 on Time Warner Cable Visit investigationdiscovery.com

BY TRAV S.D. travsd.wordpress.com If you’re feeling stressed out by life in New York with all its attendant pitfalls and dangers, do what I do: gratuitously rubberneck at the disasters that happen in other cities.

The Investigation Discovery channel’s show “Lt. Joe Kenda: Homicide Hunter” is a window into the murder culture of the smallto-medium sized city of Colorado Springs.

And wouldn’t you know, they have a surprising amount of killing in that town!

The show’s host, retired Colorado Springs police detective Kenda, spent several decades on the job. I’m sure every single day wasn’t the adventure it seems on the show — but having solved 397 murders (with a 92 percent success rate), he gives his producers more than enough fodder for an entertaining true crime series. There have been 29 episodes thus far, with a fourth season on the way.

Around my house, Kenda is a rock star.

An impossibly sedate man, slightly shlumpy, he relates tales of his career with a worldweary air, a man who has seen the worst mankind has to offer and would love to prevent more of it from happening.

The show’s producers take this very distinctive tack of shooting Kenda in extreme close-up. It’s as if you’re sitting across from him on a very intimate date. In his low-key manner, he weaves his amazing tales — which, of course, completely contrast with his implacable attitude. After all, these are stories of horror and murder.

Kenda comes across as a decent man,

Joe Kenda recreation actor Carl Mariano has his own lawman cred, having been a Deputy Sheriff in New York State for 17 years.

appalled at the cold-heartedness of some of the people he’s had to deal with, and it’s made him just a touch cynical and jaded — not enough to corrupt him, just enough to give him a bit of droll gallows humor, of just the sort you’d want the cop from central casting to have. “I’m not a doctor,” he growls, “but I’ve seen a lot of dead people.”

Something about Kenda’s manner reminds me of the assistant principal, the one who’s in charge of discipline. He makes the bad guys look not just bad, but invariably foolish. They are people who’ve done the worst thing a human being can do. And, well, who DOES something like that?

For the most part, they ain’t rocket scientists. There’s the creep who ran over his ex-girlfriend in his car with two drunken buddies sleeping in the back seat and an entire neighborhood of witnesses looking on — and the stalker who became obsessed with his neighbor, strangled her, and left a tell-tale bite mark on her shoulder. “There are some people who don’t deserve to be on the outside with the rest of us,” says Kenda. His job is to scoop ‘em up and throw ‘em in the tank.

I am not the only one in the Kenda fan club.

Others love to parrot his catchphrases, such as the ever popular “Well…my, my, my” (delivered to the perps in his stories with a single eyebrow raised) and “Now he’s got my attention” (usually delivered when a suspect has made a revealing slip-up during an interrogation).

For maximum hilarity, he is played in the flashbacks by a man 20 years his junior, who looks little like him (par for the course in true crime re-enactments). Actor Carl Mariano, the Kenda stand-in, has more to offer than his movie star looks — having been a Deputy Sheriff in New York State for 17 years. We look forward to seeing both “Kendas” when the show returns for its fourth season later this year.

Trav S.D. has been producing the American Vaudeville Theatre since 1995, and periodically trots it out in new incarnations. Stay in the loop at travsd.wordpress. com, and also catch up with him on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, et al. His books include “No Applause, Just Throw Money: The Book That Made Vaudeville Famous” and “Chain of Fools: Silent Comedy and its Legacies from Nickelodeons to YouTube.”

Community Contacts To be listed, email scott@chelseanow.com.

info

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COMMUNITY BOARD 4 (CB4) CB4 serves Manhattan’s West Side neighborhoods of Chelsea and Clinton/Hell’s Kitchen. Its boundaries are 14th St. on the south, 59/60th St. on the north, the Hudson River on the west, 6th Ave. on the east (south of 26th St.) and 8th Ave. on the east (north of 26th St.). The board meeting, open to the public, is normally the first Wednesday of the month. The next meeting is Wed., April. 2, 6:30pm, at Roosevelt Hospital (1000 Tenth Ave., at 51st St.). Call 212-736-4536, visit nyc.gov/mcb4 or email them at info@ manhattancb4.org.

COMMUNITY BOARD 5 (CB5) CB5 represents the central business district of New York City. It includes midtown Manhattan, the Fashion, Flower, Flatiron and Diamond districts, as well as Bryant Park and Union Square Park. The district is at the center of New York’s tourism industry. The Theatre District, Times Square, Carnegie Hall, the Empire State Building and two of the region’s transportation hubs (Grand Central Station and Penn Station) fall within CB5. The board meeting, open to the public, happens on the second Thursday of the month. The next meeting is Thurs., March 13th, 6pm, at Xavier High School (30 W. 16th St., btw. 5th & 6th Aves., 2nd fl.). Call 212-465-0907, visit cb5.org or email them at office@cb5.org.

THE 300 WEST 23RD, 22ND & 21ST STREETS BLOCK ASSOCIATION Contact them at 300wba@gmail. com.

THE WEST 400 BLOCK ASSOCIATION Contact them at w400ba@gmail.com.

CHELSEA GARDEN CLUB Chelsea Garden Club cares for the bike lane tree pits in Chelsea. If you want to adopt a tree pit or join the group, please contact them at cgc.nyc@gmail.com or like them on Facebook. Also visit chelseagardenclub.blogspot.com.

LOWER CHELSEA ALLIANCE (LoCal) This group is committed to protecting the residential blocks of Chelsea from overscale development. Contact them at LowerChelseaAlliance@gmail.com.

THE GREENWICH VILLAGE-CHELSEA CHAMBER OF COMMERCE Call 212-337-5912 or visit villagechelsea.com.

THE MEATPACKING DISTRICT INITIATIVE Visit meatpacking-district.com or call 212-633-0185.

PENN SOUTH The Penn South Program for Seniors provides recreation, education and social services — and welcomes volunteers. For info, call 212-2433670 or visit pennsouthlive.com.

THE BOWERY RESIDENTS’ COMMITTEE: HOMELESS HELPLINE If you know of anyone who is in need of their services, call the Homeless Helpline at 212-533-5151, and the BRC will send someone to make contact. This number is staffed by outreach team leaders 24 hours a day. Callers may remain anonymous. For more info, visit brc.org.

THE LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL & TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY CENTER At 208 W. 13th St. (btw. 7th & 8th Aves.). Visit gaycenter.org or call 212620-7310.

GAY MEN’S HEALTH CRISIS (GMHC) At 446 W. 33rd St. btw. 9th & 10th Aves.

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March 12 - 25, 2014

HUDSON GUILD Founded in 1895, Hudson Guild is a multi-service, multi-generational community serving approximately 14,000 people annually with daycare, hot meals for senior citizens, low-cost professional counseling, community arts programs and recreational programming for teens. Visit them at hudsonguild.org. Email them at info@ hudsonguild.org. For the John Lovejoy Elliott Center (441 W. 26th St.), call 212-760-9800. For the Children’s Center (459 W. 26th St.), call 212-7609830. For the Education Center (447 W. 25th St.), call 212-760-9843. For the Fulton Center for Adult Services (119 9th Ave.), call 212-924-6710.

THE CARTER BURDEN CENTER FOR THE AGING This organization promotes the wellbeing of individuals 60 and older through direct social services and volunteer programs oriented to individual, family and community needs. Call 212879-7400 or visit burdencenter.org.

FULTON YOUTH OF THE FUTURE Email them at fultonyouth@gmail. com or contact Miguel Acevedo, 646-671-0310.

WEST SIDE NEIGHBORHOOD ALLIANCE Visit westsidenyc.org or call 212956-2573. Email them at wsna@ hcc-nyc.org.

CHELSEA COALITION ON HOUSING Tenant assistance every Thursday night at 7pm, at Hudson Guild (119 9th Ave.). Email them at chelseacoalition.cch@gmail.com.

FRIENDS OF HUDSON RIVER PARK Visit fohrp.org or call 212-757-0981.

HUDSON RIVER PARK TRUST Visit hudsonriverpark.org or call 212627-2020.

SAVE CHELSEA Contact them at savechelseanyc@ gmail.com.

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DISTRICT 3 CITY COUNCILMEMBER COREY JOHNSON Call 212-564-7757 or visit council.nyc. gov/d3/html/members/home.shtml.

STATE SENATOR BRAD HOYLMAN Call 212-633-8052 or visit bradhoylman.com.

CHELSEA REFORM DEMOCRATIC CLUB The CRDC (the home club of City Council Speaker Christine Quinn and Assemblymember Richard N. Gottfried) meets monthly to exchange political ideas on protecting the rights and improving the lives of those residing in Chelsea. Visit crdcnyc.org or email them at info@crdcnyc.org.

THE SAGE CENTER New York City’s first LGBT senior center offers hot meals, counseling and a cyber-center — as well as programs on arts and culture, fitness, nutrition, health and wellness. At 305 Seventh Ave. (15th floor, btw. 27th & 28th Sts.). Call 646-576-8669 or visit sageusa.org/ thesagecenter for menus and a calendar of programs.

At 147 W. 24th St. (btw. 6th & 7th Aves.)

THE SYLVIA RIVERA LAW PROJECT works to guarantee that all people are free to self-determine their gender identity and expression without facing harassment, discrimination or violence. Visit srlp.org.

FIERCE (Fabulous Independent Educated Radicals for Community Empowerment) builds the leadership and power of bisexual, transgender and queer youth of color in NYC. Visit fiercenyc.org.

THE AUDRE LORDE PROJECT is a lesbian, gay, bisexual, two spirit, trans and gender non-conforming people of color center for community organizing. Visit alp.org.

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March 12 - 25, 2014

March 12 - 25, 2014

O’Toole to Become ER Continued from page 2 Also, in 2013, Lenox Hill donated $100,000 to the AIDS memorial that will be created in the park located in the triangle across from the HealthPlex at the intersections of Seventh and Greenwich Avenues and West 12th Street.

Neighborhood critics of the new facility have repeatedly slammed it — and may well continue to do so — for not being a full-service hospital with many beds, like the old St. Vincent’s. The HealthPlex will only have two beds, plus these will not be used for long-term patient stays, but only briefly.

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March 12 - 25, 2014

March 12 - 25, 2014

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Locals Want ULURP Scrutiny for Moynihan Project Continued from page 6 In a March 7 email, Johnson pointed out that while that RFP does not involve the actual sale of those air rights, it “sets the stage” for how those transfers will be made.

The councilmember declared that he and the other electeds firmly “expect” the state to agree to go through ULURP. Christine Berthet, chair of CB4, shared the same sentiment in a March 7 email to this newspaper.

“The transactions and the projects receiving these rights must be subject to the ULURP process and the community scrutiny,” said Berthet.

But that still remains quite unclear, as neither ESDC nor Governor Cuomo’s office responded to questions about whether or not they will agree to that as the process moves forward.

This newspaper also contacted Mayor Bill de Blasio’s office to ask if the mayor will call on the state to go through ULURP, but they also did not respond.

Amid all this uncertainty, Hoylman told Chelsea Now that he is “optimistic” about a favorable resolution for local stakeholders.

“I don’t think this means that the Moynihan Station project has gone completely off the rails,” Hoylman said in a March 7 phone interview. “I think we can get it back on track if [ESDC] focuses more on making it a community-driven process.”

Photo by Scott Stiffler

Local electeds and CB4 are concerned that the sale of Farley’s 1.5 million square feet of unused air rights could lead to more development in an already dense area.

Developers Say They’re Moving in, Despite Ire of Neighbors Continued from page 7 ment — and is already under construction — some West 16th Street residents left the March 6 meeting with a commitment to fight the building with legal action.

Jen Ollman, the wife of Mattias Herold, is helping to lead that charge. Along with starting a Facebook group entitled “Save 16th Street” for organizational purposes, Ollman said she and some other residents are currently in contact with several attorneys — including representatives of the American Civil Liberties Union — in order to figure out their next move.

Since the developer’s plan seems to be in line with city zoning regulations, Ollman acknowledged that it’s still somewhat unclear what the basis of that legal action will be. But she vowed to continue that fight, along with attempting to convince city officials — including Mayor Bill de Blasio — to step in and change EDG’s plans.

“Just because it’s as of right, doesn’t mean it’s right,” said Ollman. “And since it’s clear that the developer isn’t willing to compromise, we’re just going to reach out to other people who might be able to do something.”

Aside from their opinion of the Einhorns, West 16th Street residents have been very critical of the French Evangelical Church — both for failing to inform them about the air rights sale, and also for selling the air rights in the first place.

Before unloading the air rights for a still undisclosed amount of money, the church had already made $4 million by selling its previous building at 124 West 16th Street, which EDG quickly demolished to make way for its condo. Daniel Nicolas, a member of the church’s board of trustees, has previously stated that half of that money will go towards funding repairs to the church’s aging, dilapidated infrastructure and facade (since the repairs are estimated to cost around $2 million). The church’s multi-purpose “community room” will also be renovated as part of that work.

And as part of its deal with EDG, the church is also getting its own three floors — or around 5,000 square feet of space — in the new condo building, which will likely provide the institution with yet another source of income.

Nicolas was also in attendance at the March 6 community meeting, although he showed up an hour late.

Photo by Sam Spokony

Daniel Nicolas, a French Evangelical Church board trustee (standing), flanked by developer Yiannes Einhorn (left) and architect Steven Wakenshaw, took heated criticism from W. 16th St. residents at the March 6 meeting.

During that meeting, Ollman and others wondered whether the church (which does not pay taxes) required so much more cash — the air rights sale likely netted them millions more — when $4 million will much be more than enough to conduct the necessary renovations

of its relatively small, two-story building.

“This isn’t how neighbors behave, and it’s just a highly lucrative deal for your church,” Ollman said to Nicolas, referring to the air rights sale. “How much money do you guys need? Where is it all going?”

Nicolas responded by saying that the church has been “operating in the red” for many years, and claimed that the church leadership wanted the additional money in order to “maintain an endowment for future renovations.”

He also claimed that, following the repairs, the church’s multi-purpose room will be open for use as a meeting space by block residents.

But Paul Groncki, chair of the 100 West 16th Street Block Association, was highly skeptical of the church’s alleged good intentions.

“Well, you’ve never made that space available to us before,” he told Nicolas.

“We’ve tried to have meetings there and we’re always denied.”

Nicolas declined to comment on the block residents’ decidedly unfavorable reaction to EDG’s condo building, and the fact that the church never made them aware of the air rights sale that made it possible.

2

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March 12 - 25, 2014

Dear Aunt Chelsea, I’m in a bind. Two old friends are getting married and I just received the invitation for me and a guest. The problem is, I’m in a very serious triad relationship.

How do I decide who to take? Would it be tacky of me to request plus one more?

Triple Millennial Player

of nuptial etiquette. So let’s take them one by one, shall we? And hey, since you’ve obviously got the swing of doing it in threes, I’ll spice up my advice by breaking it into four parts.

First, place a call to your friends and explain the situation. I’m betting this isn’t the only nontraditional choice they’ve seen you make. I’m also betting they’ll welcome all involved with open arms. So make plans to attend the wedding — and good luck finding three side-by-side seats on the plane!

Second, take a page from the playbook of countless gays who’ve walked down the aisle and exchanged rings. Come reception time, you’re going to get a ton of well-meaning, but incredibly ignorant comments from basically decent people who haven’t the foggiest idea what your relationship is about, yet can’t resist rubbernecking. Be patient and pleasant ambassadors for your “lifestyle,” and have a little competition between the three of you: Best impression of the most stupid question gets to decide where to eat and what movie to watch, for the next month!

Third, have a great dance routine prepared. Tell the DJ to crank it up, take to the floor and give all in attendance a viral video sure to show the world that a triad relationship is just plain fun!

Finally, each of you should bring your own gift — and make sure they’re all from the upscale end of the Registry list. This generous move will at least make a convert out of whoever catches the bouquet, because they’ll realize that the more triad couples they invite, the more presents they’ll get! Asking people to walk a mile in your shoes is all fine and dandy…but nothing wins hearts and minds like free stuff.

Now go to that wedding and have a great time…and make sure Aunt Chelsea gets an invite when the legislature catches up with the changing times and greenlights your own marital ambitions, should they ever materialize.

c o s r H o o pe s Aries Beware the rash impulse to purchase that optional

in-store warranty. Like blessings for sneezing atheists, they are rarely worth the effort.

Taurus This is a horrible week to set goals. Time is to be

frittered, money is to be wasted and orders are to be super-sized!

Gemini A little bird called Buzzfeed tells Mystico: Your 80s

band is Eurythmics, your boxing move is the uppercut and your miniseries is (Carl Sagan’s) “Cosmos.”

Cancer Don’t let snippy, snotty or downright nasty naysayers

preclude you from offering up no less than seven selfless gestures throughout the upcoming weekend. National security depends on it!

Leo The rift stemming from an unfulfilled promise, made in midMarch, is like a ski bum’s broken leg: healed in time, but a real pain until then.

Virgo Put away your complaints about the snow — and prepare

Dear TMP:

a series of pithy, observations about pollen and street fairs.

Yours is a thoroughly modern problem that I’m betting never came across the desk of Ann Landers or her sister from the same mister. Rest assured, though: it’s hardly enough to raise my worldly hackles — but it’s certainly a refreshing breath of fresh air!

Just when I thought the June wedding season would bring a glut of gay marriage-themed questions (and the more the merrier, I say!), along comes this domestic doozy. No matter. For although the angle of a “triad” (three people in one relationship) may add a fresh wrinkle to the rich tapestry of sexual dynamics being navigated by today’s young people, your quirky quandary boils down to a few simple, time-tested matters

Libra The restraint required during Lent’s latter weeks will test your mettle. Strengthen that steely resolve!

Do you have a personal problem at work, the gym, the bar or the corner coffee shop? Is there a domestic dispute that needs the sage counsel of an uninvolved third party? Then Ask Aunt Chelsea! Contact her via askauntchelsea@chelseanow.com, and feel free to end your pensive missive with a clever, anonymous moniker (aka “Troubled on 23rd Street,” or “Ferklempt in the Fashion District”).

Scorpio A single viral video will forever change your opinion of dangerous stunts, talented cats and wedding toasts.

Sagittarius Be on the lookout for the tall woman dressed in

yellow, carrying two shopping bags. She alone knows what you should wear tomorrow!

Capricorn This is an excellent week to take up Pilates, learn French cooking, start a new business and travel extensively.

Aquarius A moment spent in deep, meditative reflection will

have dire consequences, if taken while crossing the street. Learn to focus!

Pisces Earmarking your tax refund for lavish indulgences will have no real consequences — with the possible exception of excessive fun!

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March 12 - 25, 2014

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