Oct. 9, 2013, Chelsea Now

Volume 5, Number 29

The west side’s community newspaper SERVING CHELSEA, HUDSON YARDS & HELL'S KITCHEN

OCTOBER 9 - October 22, 2013

Hotel Roof Tops CB4 Concerns

BY EILEEN STUKANE Held on the evening of Wednesday, October 2, the monthly full board meeting of Community Board 4 (CB4) saw three years of research and analysis of the needs of community seniors come to fruition — when Barbara Davis, chief operating officer of The Actors Fund (and co-chair of CB4’s Housing, Health and Human Services Committee) stepped up to the podium in Roosevelt Hospital’s conference room. She revealed the startling fact that “Over the next 20 years, the number of older New Yorkers is expected to increase by nearly 50 percent, and for the first time in his-

tory, older New Yorkers are expected to outnumber school-age children.”

This enormous segment of the population needed a profile to help the community create an environment that would accommodate older individuals as they aged. The research work that has resulted in the Seniors Community Survey and Seniors Resource Directory publications required a team effort. Davis acknowledged Judy Rosch, project manager of The Actors Fund, The Fan Fox and Leslie R. Samuels Foundation Inc., the Visiting Nurse Service of New York and Manhattan

Continued on page 4

Photo by Jared Chausow

State Senator Brad Hoylman presents Cop of the Month winners (second, fifth and sixth from left) with a citation.

Officers Honored, Responders Remembered at 10th Precinct Community Council Meeting

BY SCOTT STIFFLER Over two dozen locals packed the roll call room of Chelsea’s 10th Precinct on the last Wednesday of September — as the Community Council resumed its meetings, following a three-month summer hiatus.

Earth-shaking truck traffic on side streets, and equally intrusive human traffic on Eighth

Avenue, topped the quality of life concerns that drew an unusually large amount of residents and business owners. Their ranks were swollen by three electeds, in attendance to acknowledge several officers who were awarded Cop of the Month honors.

Larry O’Neill, the council’s president, brought the meeting to order shortly after

7pm. He began with a brief review of activities during the hiatus — including the 10th Precinct’s August 6th observance of the National Night Out Against Crime.

Held at Penn South Playground (on 26th Street, between Eight and Ninth Avenues), the evening offered safety and prevention tips as well as the opportunity to meet

Captain David Miller — who late recently took over the Commanding Officer reigns from Deputy Inspector Elisa Cokkinos (now assigned to the Sixth Precinct).

In addition to the barbeque provided at August’s Night Out event, O’Neill noted

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2 October 9 - 22, 2013

Photo by Scotto Mycklebust

Adrienne Leban’s studio, at 278 W. 25th St.

Art Walk Invites You Behind Closed Doors As sprawling and visually appealing as the elevated park its name invokes, “High Line Open Studios” is a self-guided tour of work spaces normally open by appointment only — allowing visitors to gain unique insights into the creative process through a dialogue that strips away the layers between

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From 6-8pm on Fri., Oct. 18 and from 12-6pm on Sat./Sun., Oct. 19-20. The free self-guided tour begins at the West Chelsea Arts Building (508-526 W. 26th St., btw.

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October 9 - 22, 2013

3

10th Precinct Community Council Back in Session Continued from page 1 that the precinct had spent the summer beefing up its electronic presence. “We’re on Facebook now,” he said, following up his polite request to “Please ‘Like’ us” with an unusually forceful variation of the “Friend” request: “If not,” he promised, “I will hunt you down. There are ways to do that.” O’Neill’s comic delivery of that line, although not quite in the quit-your-day-jobrealm, nonetheless earned laughs — as the tech-savvy crowd seemed to appreciate that the NSA and Google were way ahead of him when it came to tracking their movements.

Those who don’t wish to join the precinct in cyberspace can keep updated the old-fashioned way: attendees were greeted at the door with Volume I, Issue I of the 10th Precinct Community Council Newsletter. The publication will be handed out at monthly council meetings. Its fourpage debut issue listed boundary information for the precinct, iPhone and subway safety tips, emergency numbers and a 2013-2014 schedule of council meetings.

Longtime Chelsea resident and council recording secretary Frank Meade spoke, encouraging greater participation in the Father Mychal Judge Walk of Remembrance.

This year’s edition, the eleventh, took place on the Sunday prior to September 11.

Photos by Scott Stiffler

Members of Chelsea’s Engine 3, Ladder 12 & Battalion 7, joined by a contingent from the 10th Precinct, saluted the Father Mychal Judge Walk of Remembrance, which made a stop at Seventh Ave. & 19th St.

For the past three years, the Community Council has organized a color guard of axillary officers, police officers and detectives to salute the procession — which always stops at Seventh Avenue and 19th Street. A prayer and a moment of silence acknowledged that four members West 19th Street’s Engine 3, Ladder 12 & Battalion 7 were among the 343 firefighters and EMS personnel killed in the World Trade Center attacks. For information about the walk, visit facebook.com/911Walk?fref=ts.

Captain David Miller, noting that this was his second Community Council meeting since becoming the 10th Precinct’s Commanding Officer, said he spent the

summer reacquainting himself with the neighborhood (prior to the past three years spent at the Seventh Precinct, he was assigned to the 10th for six years).

Calling recent development in the area “phenomenal” in scale compared to what he saw walking through Chelsea 20 years ago, Miller noted, “We don’t have the violent crime that a lot of others in the city tend to have.” He added, however, that his new command’s major challenge is to address quality of life issues stemming from a population that swells at night and on the weekends — as tourists walk the High Line and loves of nightlife spill into the streets.

With that foot traffic comes more property

crime, which accounts for the vast majority of complaints filed at the 10th Precinct.

Vigilant adherence to common sense precautions (don’t leave belongings unattended, be aware of your surroundings), said Miller, is the best tool for prevention — since “It’s tough to get the individuals [who commit larceny crimes].

Cameras are great for the prosecution side, but it doesn’t necessarily deter crime.”

Before taking questions, Miller took a few moments to speak about those who were recently awarded Cop of the Month honors. On the morning of June 29, police officers Kasey Homer and Jordan Rossi were on patrol, when they responded to reports of a despondent individual who flung himself into the Hudson, got about 15 feet off the shore line and became disoriented. Upon arriving at West 34 Street and 12th Avenue, Miller recalled that the officers “took off their [gun] belts and vests, secured them in the car and jumped into the swift currents of the Hudson” in order to rescue the man, who put their own lives at risk by struggling.

Police Officer Jared DiLorenzo was July’s Cop of the Month, for his handling of an incident on the evening of July 22.

After being called to the corner of 25th Street and Ninth Avenue — where “an individual put a knife to somebody’s

Continued on page 21

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4 October 9 - 22, 2013

Senior Survey a Hot Topic at Board Meeting Continued from page 1 Plaza and Related Companies, as well as support from CB4 and elected officials.

During her presentation, Davis revealed that 45 percent of seniors surveyed (who were mostly from the Manhattan Plaza community) have incomes below $20,000 a year, and have assets of less than $20,000.

The survey also notes that 57 percent are not meeting recommended physical activity guidelines and that 31 percent felt they needed help from a mental health professional during the year (although only 43 percent received help). Almost 25 percent of the surveyed seniors use mobility devices. Getting around is an issue — 21 percent said they had difficulty finding transportation, and 70 percent cited traffic as a serious problem.

“While gentrification has added vitality to the neighborhood, the rise in the cost of living and lack of affordable housing is making it much more difficult for seniors to remain in their neighborhoods,” said Davis, “We recommend making affordable housing for seniors a legislative priority, to work to improve transportation, traffic and risk conditions.” It is encouraging that safety improvements have already begun, as indicated by Item #16 on the evening’s agenda — a CB4 letter to the NYC Department of Transportation (DOT) applauding the

Photo by Don Mathisen

See chelseanow.com for Eileen Stukane’s video report on CB4’s Oct. 2 full board meeting.

proposed redesign and signal light changes for the intersection of West 41st Street and Ninth Avenue. The letter also suggested other changes, between West 41st and West 44th Streets along Ninth Avenue near the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel. This letter would be board-approved later on in the meeting.

Davis indicated four areas that required attention for seniors: Basic Needs such as

Housing and Safety, Promoting Social and Civic Engagement, Optimizing Physical and Mental Health and Well-Being and Maximizing Independence. She announced that the advisory committee for the survey would remain as an active group to develop and implement solutions proposed by the report, and she encouraged new people and organizations, such as tenants associations and service organizations, to join with them. Contact The Actors Fund Senior Care Program by calling 212-221-7300 or visiting actorsfund.org. The Seniors Community Survey and Seniors Resource Directory are available online on the CB4 website (nyc. gov/mcb4), and as published booklets free at the CB4 office, and offices of organizations that participated in the survey.

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Three of those who approached the microphone during CB4’s public session voiced strong concern about the Gem Hotel (300 West 22nd Street, at Eighth Avenue).

The Gem’s application to the New York State Liquor Authority (SLA) for a beer and wine license would allow rooftop activity for up to 52 people from 10am-9pm on weeknights, and until 10pm on weekends. Five tables accommodating 41 people would be on the roof, along with a standup bar. Later in the evening, the Gem’s SLA application would be discussed by the board as Item #2 on the agenda. The hotel’s rooftop abuts neighboring residential buildings, and in a line of apartment windows, one window is only 10 feet above the rooftop.

A disruption of quality of life due to noise from planned events, music, and patrons brought Bill Borock, president of the Council of Chelsea Block Associations, Lesley Doyel, co-president of Save Chelsea, and Phyllis Weitzman, a member of the West 21st to 24th Street Block Association to the meeting.

CB4 has been trying to work with the Gem Hotel on this issue for a while. The Gem, which had only used its roof for its

hotel patrons, planned on opening it to the public. Borock rose to say that he, along with representatives of other community groups, met with the Gem Hotel general manager and attorney that day. Along with noise, a major concern is that the Gem’s application states it will have “occasional” events on the roof.

Borock asked for “a limit placed on the number of special events and parties” but the Gem was noncommittal. Regarding noise, “a sound study was not done prior to the application,” said Borock, who added that, “We were told by the applicant that it had an informal study done and it wasn’t cost effective, nothing could be done to eliminate the noise. After someone spoke of different sound areas and how they work in other locations, if a sound study were done, there were things that could have been implemented.”

‘While gentrification has added vitality to the neighborhood, the rise in the cost of living and lack of affordable housing is making it much more difficult for seniors to remain in their neighborhoods, we recommend making affordable housing for seniors a legislative priority, to work to improve transportation, traffic and risk conditions.’

− Barbara Davis,

Actors Fund COO Lesley Doyel read from a letter written to CB4 by Save Chelsea. “Denial of this application should have been automatic,” the letter noted, as the application is in direct conflict of CB4’s rooftop policy, which states: “Permitted rooftops must be a minimum of 10 stories above abutting residences.” She urged the board to support stipulations of noise requirements and event limitations. Both Borock and Doyel were supported by Phyllis Weitzman. “The Block Association will be very vigilant in monitoring what the Gem Hotel does in the future,” she vowed, “and we will be loud and

Continued on page 5

Lung cancer screening Electeds Report to CB4 Lung cancer screening: Early detection could Early detection could Lung cancersavescreening: your life. save your life.

Early detection could October 9 - 22, 2013

5

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REPORTS FROM ELECTED OFFICIALS

Jeffrey LeFrancois, representing Assemblymember Richard Gottfried, announced his departure from his position, with warm words about his time working with CB4. David Cyzyk, who currently represents Borough President Scott Stringer, will be stepping into the job LeFrancois is leaving. For Assemblymember Gottfried, LeFrancois praised the reopening of PS 51, after two years. “Now the students are back home in a great new building,” he said.

For the Affordable Care Act, there is a new marketplace called “New York State of Health: The Official Health Plan Marketplace.” For information, visit

If you are a current or former smoker, or have had exposure to hazardous materials, you are at increased risk for lung cancer and may benefit from screening.

As a leader in cancer research If you are a current or former smoker, or have had exposure and ayou pioneer cancer screening, New York State hazardous Senator materials, areinatlung increased risk for lung cancer a NYU Langone uses low-dose CT scans to detectresearch an Brad Hoylman spoke mayof benefit from screening.

As a leader in cancer youaare a current former smoker, have had exposure to uses low-do lung cancer atscreening, an or early stage, when it is easier touring theIfempty Bayview pioneer in or lung cancer NYU Langone hazardous materials, you are atsuccessfully.* increased risk forpainless, lung cancer and to treat This noninvasive prison building with CT scans to detect lung cancer at an early stage, when it is eas may benefit from screening.

As* a only leader in cancer researchand andyou exam takes minutes to complete Assemblymember Gottfried ThisNYU painless, noninvasive exam takes onl a pioneertointreat lung successfully. cancer screening, Langone uses low-dose get the results in just a few days. and members of CB4, and

save your life.

complete you get the results in just a few day CT scansminutes to detecttolung cancer atand an early stage, when it is easier * said that a to community use treat successfully.

This painless, noninvasive exam takes only would be found for the minutes to complete and you get the results in just a few days. building. The requests for stipulations for the Gem Hotel brought up the issue of having a home rule for liquor licenses.

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Document Path: Studio HighRes:Volumes:Studio HighRes:NYU Medical:2013:NYULMCP3100_Lung Cancer Screening:NYULMCP3100_Lung Cancer_8.5x11_v3.indd Funsho Owolabi, for Assemblymember Linda Rosenthal, reported two events: First, Rosenthal’s Free Breast Cancer Screening in partnership with the American-Italian Cancer Foundation — Thursday, October 17th, 9am-5pm, at Rosenthal’s district Scan location: Office & mailing Office & mailing address: Scantolocation: address: office, 230 West 72nd Street. Open all 550 First Avenue 403 East 34th 413 Street Room 413 women 40 or over who have 550 not received First Avenue 403 East 34th Street Room a mammogram in the last 12 months, there Schwartz West (Green) 2ndNew Floor York, NY 10016 Schwartz West (Green) 2nd Floor York, NY New 10016 is no fee or insurance required. However if New York, New York 10016 you have insurance, bring your York, card. Second, New New York 10016 Free Flu Shot Day — Tuesday, October 22nd, 9am-12noon, also at the district office address. Both events require appointments by calling 212-873-6368.

Rosenthal has also convened a task force of elected officials and CBs 4, 5 and 7 to New England Journal of Medicine, August 2011. Journal of Medicine, August 4, 2011. *New4,England work with the NYC Department of Buildings

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Erin McCarron introduced the LGBT Center’s Smoke-Free Project, which, with Manhattan Smoke-Free Partnership and Mt. Sinai, is working to educate tenants, co-op boards and building managers in how to make buildings smoke-free across Manhattan. A Smoke-Free informational event, where lawyers will talk about the legal aspects, is scheduled for November 13th at the American Cancer Society’s Hope Lodge, 132 West 32nd Street.

Meredith Nowikowski announced the Meatpacking District Improvement Association’s second annual Harvest Fest for families, in Gansevoort Plaza, between Hudson Street and Ninth Avenue, on Saturday, October 26th, 10am-4pm. Live music, arts & crafts, face painting, costumes and storytelling will take place.

Lisa Wager of the Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT) encouraged everyone to take in “A Queer History of Fashion: From the Closet to the Catwalk” at FIT’s Special Exhibitions Gallery (from September 13th to January 4th, 2014) and “RetroSpective” at the Fashion Textile History Gallery (until November 16th).

Betty Mackintosh, a CB4 board member who is also a volunteer at the Hell’s Kitchen Farm Project, showed off a carrot, Swiss chard and a tomato from the Metro Baptist rooftop garden and invited everyone to the Farm Project’s Fall Harvest Celebration of food, drink and rooftop tours on October 30th, from 6-8pm at the Metro Baptist Church, 410 West 40th Street, between Ninth Avenue and Dyer. A $15 donation was requested but no one would be turned away. She also recommended last week’s Chelsea Now, and showed what she said was a “wonderful article and photo of the farm” on the front page.

Michael Noble, also a CB4 board member, spoke for his neighborhood in telling everyone to be aware of the restructuring of NYCHA and its newly appointed board of directors.

Personnel

COMMUNITY NEWS

Notes

boisterous about anything they do that is not appropriate and correct.”

nystateofhealth.ny.gov or email exchange@ health.state.ny.us. For Community Service Society’s help site, go to cssny.org and click on “Access to Health Care” or call 888-6145400.

Cyzyk, for Borough President Scott Stringer, also offered help for the Affordable Care Act on the Borough President’s website: mbpo.org. He also announced a “Prison to Prosperity Fair/Business Competition for Formerly Incarcerated Entrepreneurs” to help formerly incarcerated people get back on their feet. The all-day fair, from 8am-5:30pm on Saturday, October 26, will take place at Lehman College in the Bronx. The website for registering: thinkoutsidethecell.org.

Setup

Continued from page 4

Scan location: 550 First Avenue Schwartz West (Green) 2nd Floor New York, New York 10016

New England Journal of Medicine, August 4, 2011.

Continued on page 19

Office & mailing address: 403 East 34th Street Room 413 New York, NY 10016

6 October 9 - 22, 2013

Local to DOB: Decrease Alchemy’s After Hours Construction

BY SAM SPOKONY Longtime residents of West 15th and 16th Streets who live just feet away from a constantly noisy construction site have a message for the city’s Department of Buildings: “DOB, let us have some peace and quiet!”

Since 2011, developer Alchemy Properties has been constructing “35XV” — a 24-story, 55-unit, luxury residence at 35 West 15th Street, between Fifth and Sixth Avenues. Units in the building range in price from around $2 million to nearly $13 million.

But for Alchemy’s neighbors, next year’s planned opening can’t come too soon — since it will finally mean an end to the many after hours permits granted by the DOB, which allow work crews to continue hacking away during nights and weekends.

“They need to remember that other people live on this street, and we have a right to a reasonable quality of life,” said Sherrie Levy, a resident of West 16th Street since 1972, and a member of the Lower Chelsea Alliance. Also known as LoCal, the group (which includes other homeowners and tenants of West 15th and 16th, between Fifth and Sixth) is “committed to protecting the residential blocks of Chelsea from overscale development.”

Levy said that construction on 35XV generally takes place six days a week, including night hours, and that Alchemy has been granted afterhours work permits constantly since January 5.

Along with the disruptive noise that residents say comes from screeching hoists and rumbling construction elevators, many 311 complaints have been logged about frustrating dust and debris that

rains down from the site onto adjacent properties.

In fact, DOB hit the developer with several violations on September 25 — after it was revealed that Alchemy failed to report a blowout that splattered concrete onto several neighboring buildings, while construction was also taking place without adequate safety netting to prevent debris from falling outside the site.

Since work on the site began, Alchemy has racked up more than a dozen other violations, according to DOB databases, several of which also cited a failure to maintain proper safety netting.

Levy said that she and her neighbors have been trying to communicate their problems to DOB ever since 2011, but explained that any correspondence with a representative of the city agency has only ended with “nice talk,” rather than action. On behalf of the Lower Chelsea Alliance, Levy sent a letter to DOB on October 1, outlining the need to decrease the number of afterhours work permits granted for the 35XV site. As a final push to get some recognition, she also sent copies of the letter to local elected officials, and to the chairpersons of Community Boards 4 and 5.

A DOB spokesperson said that the department is currently reviewing the letter and its entailed request.

When asked whether she is any more hopeful about the success of this letter, Levy seemed ready to be disappointed yet again.

“No, I don’t feel any more optimistic this time,” she said, “but of course I’d love to be proven wrong.”

Photo by Sam Spokony

Neighbors say Alchemy’s after hours construction on its 35 W. 15th St. luxury building is bad mojo.

October 9 - 22, 2013

7

Rogue Truckers Causing ‘Minor Earthquakes’ on Small Side Streets

BY SAM SPOKONY Chelsea’s 10th Precinct is stepping up its enforcement of laws intended to stop commercial vehicles from taking shortcuts through smaller residential streets, after residents fed up with the rogue truckers spoke out to both the precinct’s commanding officer and Community Board 4 (CB4).

Truck drivers throughout the city often break those laws by sidestepping established truck routes in order to cut ahead of stalled traffic. Over the past few years, they’ve almost always gotten away with it in Chelsea — bypassing the congested West 14th and 34th Street routes, and instead rumbling across narrow side streets.

“This becomes a crisis every five years or so,” said Stanley Bulbach, president of the West 15th Street 100 and 200 Block Association, explaining that the truckers’ illegal shorcuts generally wane after the periodic bump in enforcement which is now about to begin.

Bulbach said that he voiced concerns on behalf of numerous other West 15th Street residents at the last 10th Precinct Community Council meeting on September 25, citing the “minor earthquakes” that occur whenever truck drivers use his street as a shortcut.

A concrete shield beneath the road on 14th Street protects the L subway train, Bulbach noted, “but our blocks only have this landfill mud under the roadway. So any overweight vehicles really shake the whole street, and it’s enough to start causing small cracks in the buildings. It’s a very sensitive issue for people here, because we’re also worried about potential damage to a high-pressure gas main on the north side of the street, and an asbestos-covered steam pipe on the south side.”

Those concerns were apparently heeded by Captain David Miller, the 10th Precinct’s relatively new commanding officer, who leads the monthly Community Council meetings.

“Since that meeting, Captain Miller has directed our highway safety officers to pay more attention to the issue,” said Detective Mike Petrillo, a community affairs officer at the 10th Precinct.

Petrillo also noted that in addition to West 15th Street, some truck drivers tend to cut corners by using the equally illegal options of West 19th or 22nd Streets.

Photo by Sam Spokony

A commercial delivery truck makes an illegal shortcut, rumbling across W. 15th St., btw. Seventh & Eighth Aves.

Residents of all three of those streets recently joined forces to compel CB4 to send a letter to the 10th Precinct regarding this issue, as a measure of further articulating both their complaints and the need for real action. The difference with the CB4 letter, which was approved at the last full board meeting on October 2, is that it’s also addressed to Margaret Forgione — the Manhattan borough commissioner of the city’s Department of Transportation (DOT).

The letter points out that DOT and the 10th Precinct worked together to address this problem in 2007 and 2008, by installing “No Thru Truck” signs along the smaller streets, in addition to stepping up enforcement. The letter also reports that several of those signs have since been removed during construction projects and never replaced.

Detective Petrillo told Chelsea Now that Captain Miller plans to follow up by fully addressing the truck problem at the next

Community Council meeting on October 20, where he will indicate how many commercial

drivers have been caught and ticketed as a result of heightened enforcement.

8 October 9 - 22, 2013

editorial

Get Rid of Runoffs

Two qualified candidates for public advocate faced off in a runoff last Tuesday, with Councilmember Letitia James defeating state Senator Daniel Squadron.

The turnout was extremely low — only 187,000 of the party’s 3 million registered Democrats went to the polls.

Meanwhile, the cost of the city’s running the runoff, $13 million, far exceeds the small budget of the Public Advocate’s Office, $2.3 million.

All of which raises the question whether runoffs for citywide offices — except for mayor — should be abolished in favor of so-called “instant runoffs.”

Currently, if no citywide candidate garners 40 percent of the vote in a primary, there is a runoff between the top two finishers.

Basically, the instant runoff is the better option, since it would save the city from having to hold these extremely lowturnout contests, while — importantly — saving millions of dollars.

Under this alternative, voters would rank their top choices, in descending order. If no candidate secured 40 percent, the bottom candidates would be knocked out and their votes allotted to the other candidates proportionally.

As for mayor, the runoff should remain. The period between primary and runoff gives voters (and the media) a closer look at the remaining candidates. That sort of extra vetting is needed for anyone who would be mayor.

The New & Improved

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Page 23

letters to the editor Pro-Johnson PAC went negative To The Editor: Re “Johnson trounces Kurland in race to succeed Quinn” (news, Sept. 12): I am reading in utter amazement how Yetta Kurland is being pilloried by many of your readers. While Johnson ran a very cunning and aggressive race, he should not be painted as though he did not throw negatives around. He just did it under the moniker Fighting For Our Future, supposedly paid for by a PAC that supported him. I received frequent mailings from this PAC stating that Kurland was a questionable employer, has a history of exploiting low-income workers, replete with a picture showing a 1920s / 30s sweatshop, etc. What I find really curious is that this PAC was established on Aug. 19, just in time to send out a barrage of attack ads, of course, under someone else’s name.

Dawn A. Echevez

Green Space should be Johnson’s priority To The Editor: Website comment, Re video interview, as part of “New CB4 Leadership to Follow Johnson’s Exit” (news, Sept. 25): CB4 and the overall district have one of the lowest rankings when it comes to parks and open space. What has Mr. Johnson done and what does he plan to do as our rep to fix the “green space” void in our community? That should be one of his top priorities.

Affordable Housing should be Johnson’s priority To The Editor: Website comment, Re video interview, as part of “New CB4 Leadership to Follow Johnson’s Exit” (news, Sept. 25):

RE: Affordable housing — I would prefer to hear from ALL of our elected officials that they will devote themselves to CREATING rather than merely PRESERVING affordable housing. The middle class has been pushed out of New York for the past 60 years — nothing new — time to change.

Kathleen Treat, Chair Hell's Kitchen Neighborhood Association

Metro Baptist Church provides food for thought To The Editor: Website comment, Re “Rooftop Farm Feeds Those Struggling to Stay in Hell’s Kitchen” (news, Sept. 25): I tell everyone who will listen about the wonderful idea that this church and community started. I planted in two kiddie pools myself this year, in my inner city back yard, and I still have tomatoes, green beans and lettuce in the fridge from them.

It’s not just a lack of access to fresh produce in the inner city.

It’s also the lack of knowledge of: 1) How easy it is grow in a small area; 2) That everyone can grow something they can eat and over time you get better at it and 3) Too many people have learned how easy it is to kill living things.

It's nice to learn, all over again, how easy it is to grow living things. Those bees, birds, squirrels and field mice are a pain sometimes, but they remind you that you did a good job.

Prayers for your continued success!

Frances E-mail letters, not longer than 250 words in length, to scott@chelseanow.com or fax to 212-229-2790 or mail to Chelsea Now, Letters to the Editor, 515 Canal St., Suite 1C, NY, NY 10013. Please include phone number for confirmation purposes. Chelsea Now reserves the right to edit letters for space, grammar, clarity and libel. Chelsea Now does not publish anonymous letters.

MISSING ANDREW RIVERA JR. (ANDY) DOB: 10/25/1978 34-YEAR-OLD SPECIAL NEEDS AUTISTIC HISPANIC MALE 5'7"; 200 LBS.; DARK BROWN HAIR/ BROWN EYES LAST SEEN: 9/29/13 - MANHATTAN WEARING: BLACK JACKET, BLUE JEANS AND BLACK SHOES PLEASE CONTACT: ANNA OR ANDY (917) 673-8016 • (917) 749-5062 OR 10TH PRECINCT DETECTIVE SQUAD: (212) 741-8245

October 9 - 22, 2013

Community Contacts To be listed, email info to scott@chelseanow.com.

COMMUNITY BOARD 4 (CB4) CB4 serves Manhattan’s West Side neighborhoods of Chelsea and Clinton/Hell’s Kitchen. Its boundaries are 14th St. on the south, 59/60th St. on the north, the Hudson River on the west, 6th Ave. on the east (south of 26th St.) and 8th Ave. on the east (north of 26th St.). The board meeting, open to the public, is normally the first Wednesday of the month.

The next meeting is Wed., Nov. 6, 6:30pm, at the Hotel Trades Council Auditorium (305 W. 44th St., btw. 8th & 9th Aves.). Call 212-736-4536, visit nyc.gov/mcb4 or email them at info@ manhattancb4.org.

COMMUNITY BOARD 5 (CB5) CB5 represents the central business district of New York City. It includes midtown Manhattan, the Fashion, Flower, Flatiron and Diamond districts, as well as Bryant Park and Union Square Park. The district is at the center of New York’s tourism industry. The Theatre District, Times Square, Carnegie Hall, the Empire State Building and two of the region’s transportation hubs (Grand Central Station and Penn Station) fall within CB5. The board meeting, open to the public, happens on the second Thursday of the month. The next meeting is Thurs., Nov. 14th, 6pm, at Xavier High School (30 W. 16th St., btw. 5th & 6th Aves., 2nd fl.). Call 212465-0907, visit cb5.org or email them at office@cb5.org.

THE 300 WEST 23rd, 22nd & 21st STREETS BLOCK ASSOCIATION Contact them at 300wb@gmail.com.

THE WEST 400 BLOCK ASSOCIATION Contact them at w400ba@gmail.com.

CHELSEA GARDEN CLUB Chelsea Garden Club cares for the bike lane tree pits in Chelsea. If you want to adopt a tree pit or join the group, please contact them at cgc.nyc@gmail.com or like them on Facebook. Also visit chelseagardenclub.blogspot.com.

LOWER CHELSEA ALLIANCE (LoCal) This group is committed to protecting the residential blocks of Chelsea from overscale development. Contact them at LowerChelseaAlliance@gmail.com.

THE GREENWICH VILLAGE-CHELSEA CHAMBER OF COMMERCE Call 212-337-5912 or visit villagechelsea.com.

THE MEATPACKING DISTRICT INITIATIVE Visit meatpacking-district.com or call 212-633-0185.

PENN SOUTH The Penn South Program for Seniors provides recreation, education and social services — and welcomes volunteers. For info, call 212-2433670 or visit pennsouthlive.com.

THE BOWERY RESIDENTS’ COMMITTEE: HOMELESS HELPLINE If you know of anyone who is in need of their services, call the Homeless Helpline at 212-533-5151, and the BRC will send someone to make contact. This number is staffed by outreach team leaders 24 hours a day. Callers may remain anonymous. For more info, visit brc.org.

THE LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL & TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY CENTER At 208 W. 13th St. (btw. 7th & 8th Aves.). Visit gaycenter.org or call 212620-7310.

GAY MEN’S HEALTH CRISIS (GMHC) At 446 W. 33rd St. btw. 9th & 10th Aves.

Visit gmhc.org. Call 212-367-1000.

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Member of the National Newspaper Association Chelsea Now is published biweekly by NYC Community Media LLC, 515 Canal St., Unit 1C, New York, NY 10013.

(212) 229-1890. Annual subscription by mail in Manhattan and Brooklyn $75. Single copy price at office and newsstands is 50 cents. The entire contents of newspaper, including advertising, are copyrighted and no part may be reproduced without the express permission of the publisher - © 2010 NYC Community Media LLC, Postmaster: Send address changes to Chelsea Now, 145 Sixth Ave., First Fl., New York, N.Y. 10013.

PUBLISHER’S LIABILITY FOR ERROR

The Publisher shall not be liable for slight changes or typographical errors that do not lessen the value of an advertisement. The publisher’s liability for other errors or omissions in connection with an advertisement is strictly limited to publication of the advertisement in any subsequent issue.

HUDSON GUILD Founded in 1895, Hudson Guild is a multi-service, multi-generational community serving approximately 14,000 people annually with daycare, hot meals for senior citizens, low-cost professional counseling, community arts programs and recreational programming for teens. Visit them at hudsonguild.org. Email them at info@ hudsonguild.org. For the John Lovejoy Elliott Center (441 W. 26th St.), call 212-760-9800. For the Children’s Center (459 W. 26th St.), call 212-7609830. For the Education Center (447 W. 25th St.), call 212-760-9843. For the Fulton Center for Adult Services (119 9th Ave.), call 212-924-6710.

THE CARTER BURDEN CENTER FOR THE AGING This organization promotes the wellbeing of individuals 60 and older through direct social services and volunteer programs oriented to individual, family and community needs. Call 212-879-7400 or visit burdencenter.org.

FULTON YOUTH OF THE FUTURE Email them at fultonyouth@gmail. com or contact Miguel Acevedo, 646-671-0310.

WEST SIDE NEIGHBORHOOD ALLIANCE Visit westsidenyc.org or call 212956-2573. Email them at wsna@ hcc-nyc.org.

CHELSEA COALITION ON HOUSING Tenant assistance every Thursday night at 7pm, at Hudson Guild (119 9th Ave.). Email them at chelseacoalition.cch@gmail.com.

FRIENDS OF HUDSON RIVER PARK Visit fohrp.org or call 212-757-0981.

HUDSON RIVER PARK TRUST Visit hudsonriverpark.org or call 212627-2020.

SAVE CHELSEA Contact them at savechelseanyc@ gmail.com.

Publisher Jennifer Goodstein

Sr. V.P. of Sales and Marketing Francesco Regini

Editor Scott Stiffler

Retail Ad Manager Colin Gregory

Reporters Lincoln Anderson

Account Executives

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Sean Egan Maeve Gately

Andrew Regier

Publisher Emeritus John W. Sutter

Rebecca Rosenthal Julio Tumbaco

9

CITY COUNCIL SPEAKER CHRISTINE QUINN Call 212-564-7757 or visit council.nyc. gov/d3/html/members/home.shtml.

STATE SENATOR Brad HOYLMAN Call 212-633-8052 or visit bradhoylman.com.

CHELSEA REFORM DEMOCRATIC CLUB The CRDC (the home club of City Council Speaker Christine Quinn and Assemblymember Richard N. Gottfried) meets monthly to exchange political ideas on protecting the rights and improving the lives of those residing in Chelsea. Visit crdcnyc.org or email them at info@crdcnyc.org.

THE SAGE CENTER New York City’s first LGBT senior center offers hot meals, counseling and a cyber-center — as well as programs on arts and culture, fitness, nutrition, health and wellness. At 305 Seventh Ave. (15th floor, btw. 27th & 28th Sts.). Call 646-576-8669 or visit sageusa.org/ thesagecenter for menus and a calendar of programs.

At 147 W. 24th St. (btw. 6th & 7th Aves.)

THE SYLVIA RIVERA LAW PROJECT

works to guarantee that all people are free to self-determine their gender identity and expression without facing harassment, discrimination or violence. Visit srlp.org.

FIERCE (Fabulous Independent Educated

Radicals for Community Empowerment) builds the leadership and power of bisexual, transgender and queer youth of color in NYC. Visit fiercenyc.org.

QUEERS FOR ECONOMIC JUSTICE is a progressive organization committed to promoting economic justice in a context of sexual and gender liberation. Visit q4ej.org.

THE AUDRE LORDE PROJECT is a les-

bian, gay, bisexual, two spirit, trans and gender non-conforming people of color center for community organizing. Visit alp.org.

Art / Production Director Troy Masters Senior Designer Michael Shirey Graphic Designers Chris Ortiz Arnold Rozon Circulation Sales Mngr.

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Contributors Jim Caruso Martin Denton Sean Egan Ophira Eisenberg Kaitlyn Meade Duncan Osborne Paul Schindler Sam Spokony

Distribution & Circulation Cheryl Williamson

Video Segment Producer Don Mathisen

1 0 October 9 - 22, 2013

Police BLOTTER Trouble Parks at Area Garages

Grand Larceny: West Chelsea is Wine Country?

Criminal Mischief: A man whose destructive antics were caught on video is still at large — having fled on foot, shortly after 1am on Sun., Sept. 29.

That’s when he walked into the booth of a parking garage (icon, at 356 W. 16th St. btw. 8th & 9th Aves.), and punched the glass partition, causing it to shatter.

Lowbrow greed for some high-end grapes got the better of him — when a wine seller’s dreams of easy money went south (and sour), due to subtle notes of carelessness. The scheme was uncorked at around 1pm on Tues., Oct. 1, at a factory warehouse (Wine Care Storage, 628 W. 28th St.). A 28-year-old male was observed exchanging $8,000 worth of Chateau Petrus Pomerol and $1,800 worth of Chateau Lafite Rothschild for nearly $10,000 in cash. The bold and robust twentysomething, and his 42-year-old client, were both taken into custody.

Assault: A 57-year-old man was arrested by uniformed officers of the 10th Precinct, at around 3:30pm on Mon., Sept. 30. Responding to a call placed by the attendant at Imperial Parking Garage (314 11th Ave., at 30th St.), they found the 54-year-old victim bleeding from the nose, and with a bruise on his forehead. The victim’s glasses were also broken. This damage was sustained when the defendant initiated a verbal dispute over his parking garage fare. After the assault, the defendant also ripped down a sign, located towards the exit of the garage.

Petty Larceny: He should have walked to spinning class While he was working out at Chelsea Piers, a 40-year-old Upper West Side resident’s $400 orange Trek mountain bike

was stolen. The victim locked his bike on the northwest corner of 10th Ave. & 22nd St. at around 12:15pm on Sun., Sept. 22.

When he returned a little over an hour later, the bike was gone — although the two locks used to secure it were still there.

—Scott Stiffler

CASH FOR GUNS $100 cash will be given (no questions asked) for each handgun, assault weapon or sawed-off shotgun, up to a maximum payment of $300. Guns are accepted at any Police Precinct, PSA or Transit District.

CRIME STOPPERS If you have info regarding a crime committed or a wanted person, call Crime Stoppers at 800-577-TIPS, text “TIP577” (plus your message) to “CRIMES” (274637) or submit a tip online at nypdcrimestoppers.com.

THE 10th PRECINCT Located at 230 W. 20th St. (btw. 7th & 8th Aves.). Commander: Captain David S. Miller. Main number: 212-741-8211.

Community Affairs: 212-741-8226. Crime Prevention: 212-741-8226. Domestic Violence: 212-741-8216. Youth Officer: 212-741-8211. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-741-8210. Detective Squad: 212741-8245. The Community Council meeting, open to the public, takes place at 7pm on the last Wed. of the month.

THE 13th PRECINCT Located at 230 E. 21st St. (btw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.). Deputy Inspector: Ted Bernsted. Call 212-477-7411. Community Affairs: 212-477-7427. Crime Prevention: 212-477-7427. Domestic Violence: 212477-3863. Youth Officer: 212-477-7411.

Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-477-4380.

Detective Squad: 212-477-7444. The Community Council meeting takes place at 6:30pm on the third Tues. of the month.

October 9 - 22, 2013

11

COMMUNITY ACTIVITIES

BY SCOTT STIFFLER

‘PAWS’ FOR PRAYER: BLESSING OF AMINALS

Beasts of all species and denominations, and their bipedal roommates, are welcome at Chelsea Community Church’s Blessing of Animals. The 14th installment of this popular annual event gets a cabaret twist this time around — as tenor Otto Walberg, the longtime lay leader for the service, sings a new song: “I Was Thinking.” Award-winning cabaret artist Carolyn Montgomery-Forant wrote the lyrics and the music. CCC’s Music Director Jeff Cubeta (also a noted cabaret performer) will accompany Walberg on piano.

It’s anybody’s guess as to whether that will inspire some doggie dancing in the aisles — but at least when the plate is passed, there won’t be a two-bone minimum (admission is free, voluntary collection taken).

Sun., Oct. 20, at noon. At St. Peter’s (346 W. 20 St., btw. Eighth and Ninth Aves.). People of all faiths, and of uncertain faith, are welcome to commune with their fellow man — while giving their pets a bit of alone time — when the nondenominational, lay-led Chelsea Community Church meets every Sun. at 12 noon, at St. Peter’s.

For more info, visit chelseachurch.org.

COMMUTER COMPOSTING: CHELSEA PILOT PROGRAM

First bike lane tree pits, then audible crosswalk signals for the blind — and now this. The addition of twice-weekly Commuter Composting adds another feather in the cap of forward-thinking initiatives honed on 23rd St. Funded by the NYC Department of Sanitation, and facilitated by the Lower East Side Ecology Center, this pilot program (the only one currently offered in Manhattan) collects food scraps, which will be taken to the East River Park Compost Yard. Participants are encouraged to reuse plastic containers or bags to store and transport their food scraps (which can be stored in the freezer or refrigerator, to

eliminate at-home odors between drop-off dates).

Get all the dirt at bit.ly/nycLORP, including info on what makes the cut for compost (yes for fruits and veggies, no for meat and dairy). Commuter Composting happens every Tuesdays and Thursday, from 8am-11am, on the southwest corner of 23rd St. & Eighth Ave. Also visit lesecologycenter.org for more eco-friendly tips — including October 13’s Electronic Waste Recycling Day at Asser Levy Recreation Center (10am-4pm, on East 23rd St).

RUBIN MUSEUM OF ART: FALL CLASSES

The Rubin Museum of Art has added yet another layer to the mind-expanding, soul-nourishing experience that comes from immersing one’s self in their outstanding collection of Chinese, Indian, Afghan, Bhutanese, Mongolian, Nepalese, Pakistani and Tibetan art. Housed in the former home of Barney’s, the RMA has always been a place where visitors can actively engage with the traditions and cultures of the Himalayas. Two years ago, they began to offer Adult Education classes whose themes were tied to current exhibits — allowing a deeply personal take-away for the senses (in the most literal of senses). Experienced artist-instructors guide participants in small class settings that take place after hours in museum galleries and designated art studio spaces. “The Buddha of Ultimate Healing” is a Thangka-Making workshop in which you will learn how to draw and paint The Medicine Buddha (drawing, Oct. 11-13; painting, Oct. 18-20). No experience is necessary. On Wed., from Nov. 6-20 and Dec. 4, “Writing along the Himalayas” encourages you to discover how works of art inspire writing — through intimate encounters with artwork in the galleries.

Photo by Chris Kreussling

Rev. John Magisano, pastoral counselor for Chelsea Community Church, at 2012’s Blessing of Animals.

At the Rubin Museum of Art (150 W. 17th St., btw. Sixth & Seventh Aves.). For info on class times and rates, visit rmanyc.org.

Photo by Scott Stiffler

Take out the trash — and turn it into compost, every Tues. & Thurs. morning (at 23rd St. & Eighth Ave.).

Photo courtesy of Carmen Mesink

RMA instructor Carmen Mesink shows you how it’s done.

1 2 October 9 - 22, 2013

chelsea: arts & ENTERTAINMENT All Fall Downtown Puppets, Pie and Penny Populate the Off-Off Boards

BY TRAV S.D. (travsd.wordpress.com) Much like schools, Downtown theaters seem to start their annual “year” in the autumn — often presenting their best and most interesting work in the crucial fall months when it’s no longer so warm that most people are recreating outdoors, and not yet so cold that some won’t venture out of doors to see shows. This fall, there’s so much exciting stuff in the works at Downtown theaters you could get shin splints trying to see it all.

First, we treat you to some of the shows that are already open (so act fast!): Through October 26, you can see The Bats (the resident acting company of The Flea Theater) present their production of “Sarah Floor in Salem Mass,” a movement-based “radical retelling” of the events leading up to the Salem Witch Trials. It’s written by Adriano Shaplin and directed by Rebecca Wright.

Tickets can be purchased by calling 212-3523101 or online at theflea.org.

Through November 2, if you have sufficient courage, you can check out the 10th anniversary edition of Nightmare Haunted House, entitled “Killers2” — a sequel to last year’s production, which promises to take us up close and personal to such cuddly figures as Charles Manson, Harrison Graham and Aileen Wournos. As always, Nightmare will take place at the atmospheric, castle-like Clemente Soto Velez Cultural Center. More info to be found at hauntedhousenyc.com.

At the Kraine Theater through November 10, Radiotheater will present their adaptation of Orson Welles’ radio version of Bram Stoker’s “Dracula.” This interesting company does something quite different from old time radio show recreations — much of the effort goes into original soundscapes of music and effects that undergird the work of the actors — definitely worth checking out. Tickets are available at horsetrade.info.

From October 5 through October 27, you’re downright crazy if you don’t go see Varla Jean Merman and the Gold Dust Orphans in “Mildred Fierce,” their cross-dressing musical send-up up of the classic 1945 Joan Crawford vehicle. The show will be ensconced at Theater 80 St. Marks, and promises to be “sprinkled with splashy songs, tap dancing pies, bawdy waitress lingo and more surprises than you can shake a rolling pin at.” Also in the cast are Ryan Landry, Penny Champayne, Olive Another, Liza Lott and Delta Miles. For tickets and info, go to varlaonline.com.

One of my favorite Downtown companies, the Irish Repertory Theater, has two promising shows on deck this season. From October 9 through December 8, they will be presenting

Photo by Cosmin Chivu

Here comes trouble: Penny Arcade (L) and Mink Stole, in Tennessee Williams’ “The Mutilated” — Nov. 1-24, at the New Ohio Theatre.

a revival of Sean O’Casey’s 1924 masterpiece “Juno and the Paycock.” Concurrently, they are mounting a triple-header of avant-garde one acts by Samuel Beckett (“Act Without Words,” “Play” and “Breath”), directed by Bob Flanagan. It runs from October 16 through December 1. The skinny on these two shows can be found at irishrep.org.

October 9 through November 17, Soho Rep, in association with American Repertory Theater and Yale Repertory Theater, is presenting the New York premiere of David Adjmi’s “Marie Antoinette.” The production is billed as “raw, fantastical and funny” — but frankly, the main reason I hope to attend is that they promise that popular Downtown actor/playwright David Greenspan will be playing a sheep. To get yours, go to sohorep.org.

At UNDER St. Marks, from October 10 through 26, you can catch the latest edition of

writer and raconteur Clay McCloud Chapman’s “Pumpkin Pie Show” — featuring himself, Hanna Cheek and Ana Anensio enacting Chapman’s funny, gross and scary monologues.

This year the pieces are about such craziness as a case of postpartum depression that descends into madness and an episode of masturbation in the middle of a matinee performance of “Phantom of the Opera.” To get in on the action, go to horsetrade.info.

October 10 through 30, the Axis Theater has booked a show they call “Concert of the Mind: Exceeding Human Limits” — a show by Israeli magician Asi Wind, which will consist of mentalism and memorization. In this remarkable-sounding show, he promises to simultaneously solve two Rubik’s cubes (one in each hand) without looking, instantaneously remember the order of a completely shuffled deck of cards, perfectly recall a photo he has

seen only for a few seconds and memorize the names of the entire audience. Shall we all go and try to stump him? I can’t even remember the names of the people in my OWN family photos! More info at axiscompany.org.

Previews begin October 15 for a new show at 3LD called “The Downtown Loop,” which purports to offer a virtual bus ride through a future Manhattan showing what was or what might have been. Knowing this company and their penchant for bells and whistles, you can expect to be dazzled — or at least tickled.

Official opening is October 23, and it runs through November 16. Info is at 3ldnyc.org.

Here’s a brief blip but well worth knowing about: From October 16-19, the so-very-aptlynamed gothic queer storyteller Dandy Darkly will be presenting “Gory Hole” (his recent

Continued on page 13

October 9 - 22, 2013

13

Downtown Theater Continued from page 12 hit of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival) at the C.O.W. Theater (in the Living Theater’s old Clinton Street headquarters). “C.O.W.” stands for “Celebration of Whimsy” — surroundings in which we feel the rara ava Mr. Darkly will feel right at home. Tickets at 917-972-9394. Also visit dandydarkly.com.

And this is one I don’t think I’m going to be able to pass up: Underground legends Mink Stole and Penny Arcade co-starring in the long-neglected Tennessee Williams play, “The Mutilated” (1966). True to form, filth and degradation are their portion in this transitional outing, written when Williams was just beginning to stretch the envelope of sordidness to even lower depths. It remains to be seen whether these two Downtown superstars will play it straight or go for camp, but this is a drink I’ll be glad to take either way. It’s going to be at the New Ohio Theatre, November 1-24. For more info, go to sohothinktank.org.

November 7 through the 24, La MaMa’s Puppet Series, curated by Denise Greber, kicks into high gear — offering nine pieces of cool

sounding puppet theater (call ‘em “puppet shows” and get your ass kicked!). On the menu will be “The Orphan Circus” by Los Sages Fous (Nov. 7-10), “Are They Edible?” by Jeanette Yew (Nov. 7-10), “Echo in Camera” a co-production of Dead Puppet, the Schauspielhaus Wien and the Grand Theater de Luxembourg (Nov. 7-17), “The God Projekt” by Lone Wolf Tribe (Nov. 14-24), “Dorme” by Laura Bartolomei (Nov. 21-24), a Puppet Slam on Nov. 15 and several kid’s shows — “Goldilocks and the Three Bears” (Nov. 16), “The Three Little Pigs” (Nov. 17) and “Squirrel Stole My Underpants Nov. 16-17). If that’s not enough to sate your wanton puppetlust, stick around. The Czechoslovak-American Marionette Theatre will be presenting their marionette adaptation of Plato’s “Republic” from November 29 through December 15 and STOP RIGHT THERE. Before you reject it out of hand, I must tip you off that this company’s scripts are always way funnier and smarter than they have any right to be. I would gladly see anything this company does — and that includes this show, Socratic Dialogues and all. Info and tickets available at lamama.org.

From November 19 through January 5,

Photo by Moema Umanns

Greg Carere as the Tour Guide, takes you on a virtual bus ride through a future Manhattan — in 3LD’s “The Downtown Loop.”

something a little different at New York Theater Workshop — 25-year-old Kyle Riabko of the casts of “Spring Awakening” and the recent “Hair” revival will perform a concert of the songs of Burt Bacharach featuring, from the look of the publicity photo, a lot of electric guitar. Go to nytw.org for more details. Or just “Say a Little Prayer.”

November 29 through January 6, my favorite dance troupe, the neo-baroque Company XIV, will be presenting their decadent holiday classic “Nutcracker Rouge” at the Minetta Lane

Theatre. Companyxiv.com for information and tickets.

Lastly, two more cool-sounding shows at La MaMa, both opening December 6. “The Third Policeman” is the Nomad Theatrical Company’s adaptation of Flann O’Brien’s absurdist novel, playing through December 15. At the same time, they will be running the world premiere of Mabou Mines co-founder Lee Breuer’s “40 year-in-the-making magnum opus,” “La Divina Caricatura Part One, The Shaggy Dog.” That will be on the boards until December 22.

CHELSEA 9

WEST 23rd BETWEEN 7th & 8th

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EVERY THURSDAY at 7:00 & 10:00 PM

7:00 SHOWING HOSTED BY HEDDA LETTUCE

OCT 24TH

OCT 17TH SATURDAY OCT 26TH 10:00 PM ADM. $10

Photo courtesy of the artists

Two junk peddlers evoke the life of a cabaret troupe, in “The Orphan Circus” — part of La MaMa’s Puppet Series (Nov. 7-24).

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HEDDA LETTUCE lounge THURSDAY NIGHT SPECIAL 157 W 24th St. One free drink with your Chelsea Classics ticket stub.

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1 4 October 9 - 22, 2013

Just Do Art!

BY SCOTT STIFFLER

CHARLES BUSCH: RIDIN’ HIGH

The Lady in Question has declared her upcoming run at 54 Below to be a boa-free zone. Otherwise, anything goes — including we’re assured, “laughter, music, tears and sequins.” That, filtered through the sassy lips and ample pipes of Tony-nominated playwright and drag legend Charles Busch, makes “Ridin’ High” a must-see for lovers of tall tales, tough gals and tunes from the American Songbook.

Armed with more zingers than a chorus boy can shake his stick at, Busch will dish on certain actresses he’s known and tell anecdotes about his long career.

He’ll also be doing a parody of 1940s film noirs and a new monologue for Miriam Passman — the inspiration for his Broadway play, “The Tale of the Allergist’s Wife.” Songs from the camp icon, whose approach is far more affectionate than ironic, include an Irving Berlin number, a Sinatra classic and a few choices likely inspired by recent time spent taking his act on the road (“Route 66,” “Kansas City”). Accompanist Tom Judson, who toured with Busch, tickles the ivories.

Always sweet and only bitter when it serves the punchline, Busch is, nonetheless, more than a little salty — so leave the kids at home for this one. But parents of budding little divas with a sense of the absurd would do well to scoop up tickets for the Oct. 27, 1:30pm Tribeca Performing Arts Center's presentation of “Bunnicula.” Co-written by Busch, it’s a musical stage adaptation of the bestselling children’s book series about a family who adopts an orphaned rabbit with vampire-like leanings. For info: tribecapac.org/children.

“Ridin’ High” happens Thurs., Oct. 17, 24 & Nov. 7, 14. At 54 Below (254 W. 54th St., btw. Broadway & Eighth Ave.). Doors open at 8:45pm, show at 9:30pm. Cover Charge: $35-45. Food/Beverage minimum: $25. Tickets on the day of performance, after 4pm, available only by calling 646-476-3551.

For reservations, visit 54below.com. Also visit charlesbusch.com.

Photo by Stephen Sorokoff

Two, at 54 Below: Charles Busch (R) and Tom Judson are “Ridin’ High.”

Photo by Tom Caravaglia

Ellis Wood and Marni Wood (Oct. 12, at DANCENOW).

MOMENTUM: 8 WOMEN, 8 SINGULAR VOICES

Hudon Guild’s recent series of events celebrating the achievements of women in the arts continues, with this exhibit featuring work by eight women — Kitt Barnes, Elena Brady, Denise Corley, Chris Costan, Theresa Ellerbrok, Eve Le Ber, Elke Solomon and Veronica Tyson-Strait — whose careers continue to have the kind of forward-moving momentum which results from drive and commitment to ongoing experimentation and productivity.

Free. On display through Nov. 5, at the Hudson Guild Gallery (441 W. 26th St., btw.

9th & 10th Aves.). Viewing Hours: Tues.Fri., 10am-7pm & Sat., 1-4pm. For more info, visit hudsonguild.org.

Image courtesy of the artist and Hudson Guild Gallery

Eve Le Ber’s “The Art Train” is on view through Nov. 5, as part of Hudson Guild’s “8 Women, 8 Singular Voices” exhibit.

DANCENOW JOE’S PUB FESTIVAL

The Public Theater’s 15th anniversary celebration of Joe’s Pub brings a sprawling dance program to the venue’s intimate stage — via a cabaret-style showcase of

NYC’s most exciting and innovative dance makers. An adventurous short-takes format and a high-stakes audience scoring system puts some spring in the steps of DANCENOW — an annual fall festival

whose 2013 installment showcases the work of 40 choreographers, over the evenings of Oct. 9-12.

This season, participants will take the DANCENOW Challenge — which asks artists to create a clear and complete artistic statement, in five minutes or less, for the specifics of the Joe’s Pub stage. Each evening, audience members will vote for the work that best meets the challenge.

Four winners will receive a weeklong creative residency at DANCENOW Silo on Kirkland Farm in Bucks County, PA — and the festival’s top 10 works will be presented at an Oct. 19 encore performance.

Among those vying for the residency (and the encore gig): The Good to Go Girls and Jamal Jackson Dance Company (Oct. 9); TAKE Dance and Tze Chun Dance Company (Oct. 10); Steeldace and 277DanceProject (Oct. 11); and The Bang Group and Mettin Movement (Oct. 12).

Oct. 9-12. All shows at 7pm, at Joe’s Pub at The Public Theater (425 Lafayette St., btw. E. Fourth St. & Astor Place). Tickets: $15 in advance, 20 at the door. Purchase by calling 212-967-7555, at joespub.com and in person at The Public Theater box office, 1-6pm. For a complete schedule of participants, visit dancenownyc.org.

October 9 - 22, 2013

15

“We Are” serves up gore, and food for thought Mickle’s remake a rare horror film for adults FILM WE ARE WHAT WE ARE

Written by Nick Damici & Jim Mickle Directed by Jim Mickle Rated R 1 hour, 40 minutes At Landmark Sunshine Cinema 143 East Houston St. (btw. First & Second Aves.)

Also at AMC Empire 234 W. 42nd St. (btw. 7th & 8th Aves.)

BY SEAN EGAN Jim Mickle’s newest feature, “We Are What We Are,” is a strange and contradictory beast. Though ostensibly a horror movie, one could mistakenly take the film for just another dark family drama — at least in its first half. While technically a remake of Mexican director Jorge Michel Grau’s 2010 film of the same name, it differentiates itself enough from its source material to become almost unrecognizable from the original.

By taking an outlandish concept which practically begs to be portrayed campily, and treating it with deadly seriousness, the “remake” distinguishes itself as one of the greatest horror movies in recent memory.

Working from a skeletal outline of the original’s plot, director Mickle and coscreenwriter Nick Damici transplant the action to the Catskills, during a period of intense storms. The film concerns the Parker family, who are set adrift after their mother suddenly drops dead of a mysterious ailment.

Despite this loss, family patriarch Frank Parker (Bill Sage) insists his eldest daughter Iris (Ambyr Childers) assume his late wife’s duties, in order for the family proceeds with their traditional observance of the upcoming “Lamb’s Day” — a dark ritual that involves unspeakable acts. While the Parker clan prepares for their grisly festivities, a local doctor with a personal motive (Michael Parks) investigates clues brought out by the storm, which bring him closer to discovering the Parkers’ secrets.

While this story has the makings of a pulpy thriller, Mickle wisely treats the material seriously. The film unfolds slowly and deliberately, allowing room for the characters and their world to be established, without Mickle ever overplaying his hand and revealing too much about the secrets to come. Cinematographer Ryan Samul captures the gorgeously melancholy grays, greens and earth tones of the foggy, rainsoaked Catskills, in addition to the darkness of the Parkers’ home, which hearkens back to olden times.

Though there is gore, as well as a couple of effective scares, the emphasis of “We Are What We Are” is placed more on its moody, contemplative atmosphere. Mickle has clearly made a mature horror film for adult audiences, filled with prodding questions on the nature of man and man’s capacity for evil — and his direction makes this distinction clear.

Understandably, then, Mickle and Damici’s screenplay is not as concerned with corporeal horror as much as it is with the underlying cause of it — the domestic horrors of misguided religious fervor.

This concept is embodied by Sage’s Frank Parker, a formidable presence that dominates the film. Sage plays Frank, an intimidating, mumbling, Bible-quoting patriarch in almost total control of his family, who seem to love him and fear him in equal measure. Unremorseful and even proud of the violent atrocities he’s committed and

Photo courtesy of the filmmakers & distributor

Julia Garner and Ambyr Childers star as sisters with a dark secret, in “We Are What We Are.”

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Surprisingly savory horror films Continued from page 15 the trouble he’s put children through in the name of his ancestral faith (a relatively nebulous faith largely drawn from a pioneer-era journal and Christian Fundamentalism), he is a true figure of destruction and evil, and a damning portrait of religion gone awry.

The film might get too heavy and unpleasant to bear, were it not for the efforts of the other actors in the cast, who are across-theboard stellar. Childers’ performance makes Iris’ internal struggle both sympathetic and terrifying in equal measure. Even better is Julia Garner as the younger daughter, Rose — a fragile, pale presence whose existential quandaries and growing doubts about her faith and father place her squarely as the heart of the film. As Doc Barrow, Michael Parks is genuinely likable, and imbues his character with a quiet sadness and understated cunning. Kelly McGillis and Wyatt Russell round out the cast, as sweet and earnest individuals unfortunate enough to become entwined with the destructive lives of the Parkers.

The methodical, controlled buildup of the film gradually ratchets up the stakes, until the film reaches a quiet fever pitch. For the most part, the violence is merely uncomfortable to watch, while the Parker daughters’ interactions with

their father are what truly disturb and unnerve. Indeed, there is a greater sense of unease and dread at the Parker family dinner table than there is during any scene of violence in the movie — that is, until the final sequence. This carefully executed method is largely what allows that finale to be as incredibly effective a payoff as it is.

The climax is absolutely shocking, unexpected and satisfying — one that serves the characters well, gives the audience food for thought and provides gore-hounds with an exquisitely disgusting scene of blood and guts.

Balancing a nuanced character drama within the confines of a horror movie is a difficult balancing act — but it’s one “We Are What We Are” pulls off with style and smarts to spare.

Leo) keep the whole show afloat and make “Red State” highly enjoyable and well worth watching.

“Funny Games” (Michael Haneke, 2007) This might be one of the most fascinatingly nihilistic films ever put to celluloid — and certainly the only to be captured twice. Director Michael Haneke filmed a shot-for-shot English language remake of his home invasion psychological horrorthriller after his original version failed to reach his desired audience a decade earlier (namely, Americans). Chock full of ideas, “Funny Games” is as much a thesis on movie violence and the nature of the horror genre as it is a feature film, and uses gloomy, gray cinematography and long, deliberate takes to create tension and discomfort. Like “We Are What We Are,” it uses scenes of shocking violence in order to make its audience think deeply about what they’re watching.

MORE MOVIES TO DEVOUR

If you enjoy “We Are What We Are,” or if this review has piqued your interest, the following films will satisfy your craving for deliciously disturbing and offbeat horror.

“We Are What We Are” (Jorge Michel Grau, 2010) Jorge Michel Grau’s original is a completely different (but complimentary) viewing experience to Mickle’s film.

Employing the same essential premise, Grau forgoes religion and family drama, and instead concocts a clever social alle-

Photo courtesy Photo courtesy of the filmmakers & distributor

Kodi Smit-McPhee and Chloe GraceMoretz navigate hormones and horror, in “Let Me In.”

gory set in a sprawling Mexico City — shown here to be a cinematic hellhole.

Punctuated with dark humor, grimily stylized cinematography and sly nods to the work of Guillermo del Toro, the original should be required viewing for any foreign horror fan looking for a unique directorial vision.

“Red State” (Kevin Smith, 2011) Comedy director Kevin Smith tries his hand at horror. It mines the same ideas of religious zealotry “We Are What We Are” deals with in a more direct manner, to unsettling effect. It also features another wonderful turn from Michael Parks, who shines in the villainous role of a preacher with a distressing sense of conviction — and gets to deliver a chilling extended sermon that’s worth the price of admission alone. While whiplash shifts in tone don’t always serve the film well, the abundance of ideas and game supporting cast (John Goodman, Melissa

“Let Me In” (Matt Reeves, 2010) This Americanized adaptation/remake of a foreign horror film is more faithful to the source material than “We Are What We Are.” Moody, dark and deeply bittersweet, it has just the right ratio of character work and neck-biting gore one would expect from an adolescent coming of age film/vampire movie hybrid. As in “We Are What We Are,” it’s anchored by great performances from young actors (particularly Chloe Grace Moretz), and examines the way that the horror violence presented profoundly affects its characters, their psychology and the realistically drawn world around them.

“The Silence of the Lambs” (Jonathan Demme, 1991) The deserved winner of five Oscars, the movie has aged incredibly well — thanks in no small part to Demme’s assured direction and Anthony Hopkins’ iconic portrayal of the dignified, deranged Dr. Hannibal Lecter. What’s more, “Silence” helped to bring mature, adult horror into the mainstream after a decade dominated by campy Krueger and Voorhees-driven slashers.

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CB4 Adjourns to Saloon, to Fete Outgoing Member Continued from page 5 (DOB) to reform the system of issuing After-Hours Variances, permits that allow construction work at night and on weekends that causes noisy after-hours.

Harriet Sedgwick, for Christine Quinn, announced two pieces of legislation passed by the City Council. First, legislation to prevent pregnancy discrimination in the workplace, and second, legislation for storm protection. The city would be required to undertake a study on the use of permeable materials on streets and sidewalks that could help reduce flooding, and in addition, look into prevention of sewage backup, and automatic faucets and toilets that can operate in a power outage.

Edgar Yu, for New York District Attorney Cyrus Vance, announced that it is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. He also spoke of the DA Vance’s conference on “Intellectual Property Rights In The Digital Age,” a conference he hosted last month at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice. For other DA events, go to manhattanda.org.

Tricia Shimamura, for Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney, assured everyone that Maloney’s district office was open, that Social Security benefits would be paid, postal mail delivered and active military would continue to serve, along with air traffic controllers, prison guards, border patrol and mission con-

trol for astronauts at the space station.

New York State Senator Brad Hoylman spoke of touring the empty Bayview prison building with Assemblymember Gottfried and members of CB4, and said that a community use would be found for the building. The requests for stipulations for the Gem Hotel brought up the issue of having a home rule for liquor licenses. “I also have a bill that stipulations should be publicly available,” he said. “If you want to know what a stipulation is on a bar, you have to file a freedom of information request. The precincts don’t even have them. This needs to change.”

Hoylman also announced that this was the last CB4 meeting that his representative Jared Chanson would be attending, as he was leaving his job to travel. It seemed to be a night of farewells.

of the Hudson Yard Business Improvement District (BID) to the Hudson Yards/Hell’s Kitchen Alliance. Now it’s up to the NY City Council to approve the renaming.

NOMINATING NEW OFFICERS

Betty Mackintosh announced the current selection of nominees for CB4’s December 4th election of officers. The nominees are: Chair: Christine Berthet and Burt Lazarin; First Vice-Chair: Hugh Weinberg; Second Vice-Chair: Delores Rubin; Co-Secretary: Frank Zubec; Co-Secretary: Miranda Nelson.

The final slate will be presented at the November 6th full board meeting. If there are additional nominations from the floor, the nominating committee will reconvene and present a revised slate at the December 4th CB4 full board meeting, when the election will be held.

DISTRICT MANAGER’S REPORT

Robert Benfatto, CB4’s district manager, reported that the Fulton Houses Project had been approved but there were still issues regarding the facade. The Chelsea Land Use Committee would attend a presentation of the facade on October 21st, 12:30pm, at 353 West 30th Street (in the community room).

As Mayor Bloomberg’s term is coming to an end, the Clinton Land Use Committee is meeting on October 21st and 30th in anticipation of a greater number of ULURP certifications. City Planning approved the renaming

VOTING ON AGENDA ITEMS

Photo by Eileen Stukane

Bill Borock, president of the Council of Chelsea Block Associations, speaks with concern about the Gem Hotel’s request for a rooftop beer/wine license.

Before discussion and votes on agenda items, Chair Corey Johnson spoke of yet another farewell. He warmly praised CB4 board member Larry Roberts, who has been co-chair of CB4’s Quality of Life Committee, Co-Secretary, served on Clinton/Hell’s Kitchen Land Use Committee and was an “excellent board member.” Johnson and CB4

Continued on page 20

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Senior Survey a Hot Topic at Board Meeting Continued from page 19 were giving him a hearty send-off at Jake’s Saloon after the meeting.

Item #1, the ratification of an enclosed sidewalk cafe for New York Burger Co. (on the southeast corner of West 23rd Street and Tenth Avenue) was solidly approved. Members of the board spoke of how the corner had been a derelict location, and they were delighted that a business had been successful in that spot.

Business License and Permits Committee Items # 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12 and 13, relating to SLA licenses, alterations or expansions of restaurants, were bundled and approved as written. Lisa Daglian, co-chair of the Business License and Permits Committee, spoke for Item #3, the 10th Ave. Café Inc. (at 736 Tenth Avenue), which had worked with the community and CB4. The community had concerns about the use of a rear yard, and the owners had agreed to full enclosure of the yard, and to seek an application that excluded the rear yard completely. “This is an example of a collaborative effort coming to a great conclusion,” she said.

Items #4, 6 and 11 were approved.

The time was set aside for discussion of the Gem Hotel’s application to the SLA for a wine and beer license. In the public session, there had been three speakers representing community groups who voiced their concern. CB4’s letter recommended denial of the license unless certain stipulations were followed: no amplified music, no percussion instruments on the roof, closing at 9pm on weeknights, 10pm on weekends. According to Daglian, the Gem had come to the committee two years prior and had made application for wine and beer and the stipulations were in place but the hotel had never implemented them. Now the Gem wanted to allow the public on the rooftop, which would hold 52 people, 41 at five tables and the rest at a standup bar. The Gem also wanted to hold events on the roof and it did not want to be limited in number.

The members discussed the intractability of the Gem when it came to limiting events and working on sound reduction measures such as baffles. Residences abutted the rooftop and there would definitely be noise. The security on the street was also under discussion. Daglian had met with the Gem managers and attorneys and they were not making any concessions other than what had been agreed to in relation to music and closing hours. “Because this is a beer and wine application, if we recommend denial completely to the SLA, the applicant has already said that it will go and file without us,” said Daglian. In other words, it would be better for CB4 if stipulations went on record, and then possibly some of them could be implemented, rather than recommend to deny

the license. According to Daglian, the SLA would not be moved anyway.

CB4’s policy is “no rooftop permits unless 10 floors above residential buildings.” Yet according to Daglian, CB4 was between a rock and a hard place, with little leverage. The Gem was not being cooperative with the community, but in spite of this, the forgone conclusion was that the SLA would grant its wine and beer license.

A vote was called for approving a letter that would have a “friendly amendment” to the SLA from CB4. The amendment would explain that CB4 did not want to approve the wine and beer license but noting that the SLA would approve, in order to protect the community, CB4 would like stipulations such as a sound engineer’s report, a security plan, a limit to events, and replacement windows as appropriate.

Johnson voiced his desire to write a letter of denial and stand up for the policy set by CB4. A vote was taken and the letter with the amendment was approved. Johnson voted to deny.

Item #18 to the DOT noted the department’s agreement to remove the bench at the entrance of Selis Manor, a residence for the blind at 135 West 23rd Street.

Transportation Committee Items #14 through 20 were bundled and approved. Item #16 reflected the DOT’s redesign of the Ninth Avenue cross and lights, which CB4 applauded in its letter.

Item #18 to the DOT noted the department’s agreement to remove the bench at the entrance of Selis Manor, a residence for the blind at 135 West 23rd Street. This was an issue presented by Selis Manor residents at the last board meeting. They said that they use the walls of buildings to help themselves navigate and the bench was a serious obstruction. The DOT gave the matter prompt attention.

In the order of New Business was Item #23, the Restaurant Row Improvement Project which included in-ground solarpowered low-level lighting and restaurant listing signs. A number of questions were raised as to design and funding and scheduling of these changes to the area. It was decided to table the item and send it back to committee for discussion.

CB4 then adjourned to Jake’s Saloon to say goodbye to Larry Roberts!

October 9 - 22, 2013

NYPD, CB4 Address Quality of Life Concerns Continued from page 3 throat, then took their cell phone.”

Lorenzo drove the victim around in a patrol car, canvassing the area. Once identified by the victim, Lorenzo chased the perp on foot and made an arrest.

The perp, Miller said, “was on parole, and had a previous conviction for manslaughter. He’s now back in jail.”

Assemblymember Richard Gottfried and State Senator Brad Hoylman presented the officers with citations. “They run towards danger, on our behalf” Gottfried said in praise of the men, before presenting a letter of thanks.

Hoylman gingerly passed by the precinct’s commanding officer on his way to the honorees, noting that “The last time I saw Captain Miller, he was arresting me for civil disobedience.” The out, gay Hoylman compared his well-designed citation to Gottfried’s. “Mine has a seal and two ribbons…I’m just sayin’,” crowed Hoylman — who then shifted tone from camp to congratulatory, by thanking Homer, Rossi and DiLorenzo on behalf of the New York State Senate.

Corey Johnson, who in January will be replacing Christine Quinn as the District 3 City Council rep, also spoke briefly — promising to be a regular attendee at Community Council meetings.

News that Michael Petrillo has been promoted to Detective, 3rd Grade was greeted with applause, echoed in a conversation Chelsea Now had recently with Andra Gabrielle, co-chair of the 300 West 23rd, 22nd, 21st Streets Block Association. She noted that when her group learned of Petrillo’s elevation to detective, they were “thrilled that we’re not losing him as our community liaison, because he is the bridge between officers in the precinct and individuals in the community.” Those relationships, said Gabrielle, have been developed and maintained over the years based largely on Petrillo’s accessibility, demeanor and persistence.

In the question and answer session, Stanley Bulbach, of the West 15th Street Block Association (covering the 100 and 200 blocks), was joined by a West 19th Street resident in complaining about truck traffic on side streets. The resident noted that this was her third time attending a council meeting for some satisfaction on the matter. “A sign says it’s not a truck route,” she said.

“I have a petition signed by others on the block,” she added, to back up her assertion (shared by Bulbach) that cement trucks barreling down their narrow street made the buildings vibrate.

“Enough,” said the exasperated woman, who asserted that the NYPD’s aggressive issuing of tickets “are the only way these people will learn.” After the meeting, both Community Board 4 and the 10th Precinct addressed the problem. For a full report, see page seven of this paper.

A business owner spoke about the shift in tone he sees on Eighth Avenue after 10pm. “It’s a zoo,” he said, asserting that, “Everyone who gets out of jail comes to the porno shops. They sell themselves” and in doing so, create an atmosphere of intimidation. “I see it every night. Seventh Avenue is like the Upper East Side, and Eighth Avenue is called ‘The Sleaze Avenue.’ It’s because of the porno shops. They’re open 24 hours.”

He offered to share footage from his surveillance cameras — which, he said, caught drug dealers conducting business.

Without providing specifics, Miller promised improved conditions when a “January 1st policy change” goes into effect.

The 10th Precinct is located at 230 West 20th St. (between Seventh and Eighth Avenues.). Main number: 212741-8211. Community Affairs: 212741-8226. Crime Prevention: 212-7418226. Domestic Violence: 212-7418216. Youth Officer: 212-741-8211.

Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-741-8210.

Detective Squad: 212-741-8245. The Community Council meeting, open to the public, takes place at 7pm on the last Wednesday of the month.

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Dear Aunt Chelsea:

I am engaged to get married to my longterm, same-sex partner. We have always been very much in love and have had a great relationship…until recently.

My partner never has any money for our expenses and I am now supporting him.

Before I met him, I practiced cross-dressing.

It was a great outlet for me. He discouraged me from doing this. Recently, I started the practice again, and it’s taken me a while to get caught up with the new fashions — but I am now managing very well.

I started going out to a club on a regular basis. This is a straight club. I enjoy fooling men, because I look so well as a woman. No one ever suspects I’m not female. But I have found out that my partner goes to the same club — as a straight man! He is chasing some hussy and buying her gifts (that’s why he has no money).

My problem is this: Should I let him know that I have found him out? I don’t want to reveal that I have gone back to cross-dressing.

If you ask me (which you have), the picture of domestic life you paint needs a fresh coat — or better yet, a top-to-bottom makeover. Let’s look at the players in this overbaked drama: a freeloading two-timer who has the gall to deny his fiancé free expression via a closet full of frillies — and the aforementioned cross-dresser, who feels that his partner’s bad behavior somehow justifies his own emotional infidelities.

I can’t decide if the two of you deserve to marinate in your own misery or should run screaming from one another before rings are exchanged. Forced to confront the facts (a task neither person in this “partnership” seems equipped for), I’d have to go with the latter. There are more red flags in this letter than Central Park when Christo wrapped it.

Yes, I know, the flags were called gates, and their color was actually saffron — but why should my advice be tethered by that loathsome burden called “honesty,” when you, dear letter-writer, hold straight talk in such low regard?

I’d sure like to be a fly on the wall of that club when your cheating mister finds out his future husband has gone back to dressing like a sister. But I’d be just as happy to miss that little show — if it meant the two of you were having a frank conversation about what you want out of life, what you expect from one another, and whether you should part ways and move on. Pom-pom jokes and Christo references aside, that’s my advice. Like a tailor-made little black dress, truth is an attractive number that never goes out of style — even when it’s hard to swallow. Good luck, hon!

You Saw It...You Read It...And so did

THOUSANDS of our readers.

Although it’s not a cup of tea she’s prone to sip from, Aunt Chelsea is proud to support cross-dressing, in all of its fabulous permutations. What I refuse to deploy my pom-poms for, however, is deception — and I ain’t just talkin’ about the misguided little thrill you take by putting one over on those poor, clueless straight guys.

Ho r osc o p e s

Aries Like mature fall film fare after an endless summer of fluff, autumn heralds a period of sober, Oscar-contention contemplation…in matters of the heart!

Taurus A brochure touting the virtues of a state you’ve long regarded as dull catches your fancy, tempting changes in expensive winter travel plans currently being finalized.

Gemini This is not the week to embark on bucket list, risk-taking

thrills. Stay home, watch a British mystery on PBS and live to conquer your dreams in the sixth month of 2014.

Cancer Ground black peppercorns, liberally applied, will make the absence of salt surprisingly bearable. Bad habits will be broken this week, by finding suitable substitutes.

Leo Times New Roman, your time is up! An outrageous new font will bring flair to an otherwise daunting project, giving you the fresh perspective needed to bring it in just under deadline.

Virgo An unpleasant recovered memory will cause you to no

longer regard a treasured knick-knack as whimsical. Trash it — and feel no obligation to fill the void.

Libra Like a subway car bereft of ads, your late October social calendar is a blank slate soon to be filled by a boisterous but precise crew working the overnight shift. Go with the flow!

Scorpio Jackhammers, wailing tots and unkind words have

no dominion over you this week, as your laser-like focus returns threefold. Use it to benefit a friend in need — and claim the serenity you seek.

Sagittarius Words spelled IN ALL CAPS will fail to persuade the recipient of your nasty email. Put some sugar on that bitter pill — or just try asking nicely!

Capricorn Your partner’s stunned silence speaks volumes when you reveal an uncharacteristic Halloween costume choice. Bond over a two-person horse outfit.

Stylish Sue

Dear Sue:

23

now

Chelsea www.chelseanow.com

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Aquarius Three July entries in that dream journal you rarely use will provide stunning insight regarding the nature of an impending spike in anxiety. Fears, begone!

Pisces A litterbug’s discarded flyer for night classes reawakens

your desire to craft ornate table settings. A friend’s hastily planned wedding benefits from this long-dormant skill.

2 4 October 9 - 22, 2013

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