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Photo by Yannic Rack

Drivers from Clinton Park Stables, located on W. 52nd St., on their way to start the day shift at Central Park.

Opponents Gallop Away From Horse Carriage Plan

BY YANNIC RACK One of the most assertive promises of reform candidate Bill de Blasio’s mayoral campaign was his vow to end the city’s horse-drawn carriage industry. Now, more than two years after his original pledge, the mayor has announced a deal that takes an outright ban off the table — replacing it with a sharp reduction in the number of horses, and the construction of a new stable inside Central Park that will mark the end of an era in Hell’s Kitchen.

The new legislation, whose main purpose is to remove the horses from Midtown traffic by confining carriage rides to the park, comes after months of negotiations with

representatives of the carriage industry. But since the plan came to light, it has united a range of different stakeholders — including parks advocates, pedicab drivers and animal rights activists — in opposition. Even the carriage owners who were brought to the table to find a compromise have found little to their satisfaction.

Over the long holiday weekend, the mayor, City Council Speaker Melissa Mark-Viverito and representatives of the Teamsters union, which represents the carriage drivers, released a joint statement, announcing they had reached “an agreement in concept” on the industry’s future.

By the time a bill was drafted on the night of Tues.

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Jan. 19, additional provisions included a rule that horses would have to carry microchips to monitor their movements, and receive five weeks of vacation a year.

The City Council, which will have to approve the legislation, has scheduled a hearing to discuss the proposal at a meeting of its Transportation Committee on Fri., Jan. 22.

But the carriage drivers criticize several aspects of the mayor’s proposal, which they say is unfair and would actually mean horses would have to work more, not less

Continued on page 2 VOLUME 08, ISSUE 03 | JANUARY 21 - 27, 2016

Hold Your Horses: City Council Contemplates Carriage Plan

Photos by Yannic Rack

Conor McHugh, right, who has been driving a carriage in New York City since the late 1980s, readies his horse before heading to work.

Continued from page 1 — even though the health of the animals is what prompted the discussion about the industry’s future in the first place.

“I have read the bill and it is totally unworkable,” said Conor McHugh, a carriage owner and the stable manager at Clinton Park Stables on W. 52nd St., the largest of the four stables located in Hell’s Kitchen.

McHugh and other drivers said the plan did not represent an amicable

agreement and would, in fact, mean the end of a career for many. Although they support relocation to the park in principle, they remain adamantly opposed to some provisions of the administration’s plan.

Under the current bill, the number of horses licensed to work in the city would be reduced from around 180 to 110 by the end of the year, and eventually cut down to 95 by the time the stable is built (estimated completion date, Oct. 2018).

Seventy-five of the horses would then be housed at the stable at any given time,

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Each of the 68 carriages currently in operation would additionally be restricted to working only one nine-hour shift in a 24-hour period, starting in Dec. of this year.

The drivers assert that this system, which essentially pairs one horse with each carriage, means that each animal would have to work every day if its owner wanted to drive his carriage as often as possible. (Currently, many of the horses are only used for one shift every other day, because the surplus — there are 180 horses for 68 carriages — means they can be rotated more often.)

“The rationale for capping the number of horses in total doesn’t make an ounce of sense,” said Stephen Malone, who was involved in the discussions with City Hall, and has been driving a carriage in the city for 28 years.

“The horses, believe it or not, were not mentioned very much in our negotiations,” he added.

“These are the people who will tell you they’re concerned about the horses, but now they want to pass a law that would mean the horses have more work,” said McHugh. “How does that make sense?”

The drivers also see no reason to curb their business before a stable is actually built — if the bill passes, around 70 of the horses would already be taken out of the stables by the end of this year.

Malone said that the future of those horses that would be retired was never discussed at any point during the talks.

Parks advocates are also skeptical, questioning what could be a $20 million expenditure to renovate an existing building on the park’s 85th St. Transverse, near the NYPD’s Central Park Precinct.

Councilmember Mark Levine, who chairs the council’s Parks Committee, said he shares the mayor’s goal of getting the horses off the streets, but believes that “more questions still need to be answered about how this proposal would impact Central Park.”

A spokesperson for the Central Park Conservancy referred questions about the proposal to the Parks Department, which didn’t respond to a request for comment. Neither of them are likely to be thrilled to surrender more park space to the horses, however.

“This was not the way public parkland was intended to be used,” Tupper Thomas, the executive director of New Yorkers for Parks, told The New York Times.

Pedicab drivers are also outraged, because the proposal would ban them from operating in the park below 85th St. — an apparent concession to the carriage drivers, who compete with them — putting many of them at risk of going out of business.

The pedicab drivers, who were surprised by the sudden announcement and described themselves as a “sister industry” to the carriages, protested the stipulation at a rally outside City Hall on Tues., Jan. 19. Some of them said they would consider suing the city if the ban comes into effect.

“De Blasio acts like this is some sort of compromise, but there’s hundreds of jobs at stake,” said pedicab owner Laramie Flick.

“You go above 86th Street and you can take people on a tour of the North Meadow. It’s basically a ban on Central Park, because there’s no way to make a living doing that tour.”

Although Flick drives on the streets

Continued on page 10

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Carriage drivers currently wait for customers outside of Central Park, as seen here on W. 59th St. Under the mayor’s plan, new hack stands would be set up inside the park by June 1. .com

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3

Town Hall Recaps Accomplishments, Addresses Shortcomings

Photos by Lindsay Bu

Residents settled into seats, as preparations for the Town Hall meeting began.

BY LINDSAY BU It was a good night for becoming informed, and for posing questions to those who have the power to effect change.

Following a Community Resource Fair, which touted complementary flu shots and smoke detectors, along with the chance for city departments and advocacy organizations to hand out information, City Councilmember Corey Johnson hosted and moderated a Town Hall meeting on the evening of

Wed., Jan. 13, at the LGBT Community Center (208 W. 13th St. btw. Seventh & Eighth Aves.).

Dozens of local residents attended the standing room only event, which began with introductory comments from each of the 14 panelists representing city and federal agencies — including the Office of Emergency Management, the Metropolitan Transit Authority (MTA) and the Department of Education. Johnson then explained the format: he would ask a few general

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Commissioner Julie Menin of the Department of Consumer Affairs discussed the extension of paid sick leave to over a million New Yorkers.

questions to specific agencies, then would read questions that were submitted by the public.

The submission process entailed having audience members write their concerns on index cards, which were distributed at the entrance of the room before the meeting’s 7 p.m. start time. However, the system — perhaps installed to maintain order and ensure that Johnson could run through the questions in a timely manner — seemed to falter at a few instances throughout the night: passionate audience members would shout out follow-up questions from their seats, or rip out pages from notepads and walk up to Johnson to submit more questions. To this, Johnson would politely, firmly, state that people should hand their questions to the staff members that were collecting them.

The first of Johnson’s own questions was posed to Julie Menin, Commissioner of the New York City Department of Consumer Affairs. He asked her to elaborate on the new “big picture items” that New Yorkers were introduced to in the 2015.

“We are thrilled to be the agency that implements and enforces the paid sick leave law, which extended paid sick leave to over a million New Yorkers. Since we’ve been implementing this law, we have reached 1.3 million dollars in restitution and fines for over 9,000 employees,” Menin said.

Regarding the NYC Transit Ordinance, Menin explained that, “the law went into effect in January…any company, business, or not-for-profit that has 20 or more employees must provide commuter benefits to their employees. So this is the use of pre-tax money, and it’s not costing the employer more.”

When asked to talk about some

of the disparities in healthcare seen across different NYC neighborhoods, Mary T. Bassett, Commissioner of the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, noted unfortunate statistics.

“This city is a city of neighborhoods, but it is also a city that is deeply segregated by income,” she said. “[In] the neighborhood of Brownsville in Brooklyn, which is one of the poorest neighborhoods in our city, the life expectancy is 11 years shorter than [those of] wealthy neighborhoods, like Murray Hill and the Financial District.”

Pressing further, Johnson asked, “What are some of the things that you are doing in some of the neighborhoods, that have seen greater disparities when it comes to some of these endemic issues, to actually try and decrease these disparities?”

“What we are doing,” Bassett explained, “is ensuring that we focus our most intensive programs — the ones that rely on people because those are our most expensive programs — in the neighborhoods where the need is greatest. We have a program, for example, called ‘Healthbox,’ which gives people an added amount of money that they can spend at farmer’s markets, and we’re working particularly in low-income neighborhoods…ensuring that we have been promoting access to health services in these communities.”

On the thread of increasing general efficiency and access to services, some departments and agencies have taken on initiatives to embrace user-friendly smartphone applications, which they promoted throughout the night.

Reading from an audience member’s index card, Johnson asked the MTA’s Assistant Director of Government & Community Affairs, Zachary Campbell, to respond to a situation that many New Yorkers face, when “you could wait forever and not have a bus show up, or a bus finally does show up and you see a sign at the front that says ‘Next Bus Please.’ ” “All bus service is scheduled according to ridership of the route, and once we see an uptick in ridership, we will increase service accordingly,” Campbell said. “There are also other tools that customers can use that are really, really helpful. If you haven’t downloaded it, we really strongly suggest the Bus Time app — it has every bus in the city, in real time. You can also text the code at the stop if you do not have the smartphone.”

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This two-bedroom condo in West Chelsea comes with a view of the High Line, and a price on the costlier side for the area: $3.85 million, or about $2,050 per square foot.

Pretty Penny: Chelsea Ranks High in Real Estate Report

BY YANNIC RACK Chelsea residents can lay claim to occupying a prime piece of real estate, having landed on a Top 10 list of New York City’s priciest neighborhoods.

A new report by the real estate website StreetEasy proves that the West Side enclave remains one of the most desirable areas in the city, measured by the median price per square foot.

The study found that West Chelsea (the area west of Ninth Ave., btw. W. 14th & W. 30th Sts.) commands a whopping $1,893 per square foot, putting it in seventh place on a list of New York’s most expensive neighborhoods.

Expanded to include all of Chelsea,

reaching east to Sixth Ave., the median price drops to $1,719 per square foot — still ninth place overall, after such top-tier neighborhoods as Central Park South (first place, at $2,521), Tribeca (second, at $2,018) and Nolita (third, at $2,005).

The top 20 areas were all located in Manhattan, except for Dumbo, in Brooklyn, which placed 18th between the Upper West Side and the Financial District.

Some of the more “down-to-earth” neighborhoods in Manhattan, according to the report, include the Lower East Side ($999) and Sutton Place ($957).

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5

Protected Buildings Fraudulently Marked for Destruction

Photo by Lindsay Bu

A current view of the facade of the building, where demolition work was being prepped for, prior to CB4 and DOB intervention.

Department of Buildings

The HPD3 form submitted to the DOB with false information about the W. 38th St. site. Section 3 shows the untrue statements regarding residences/ alteration.

BY SEAN EGAN A set of residential buildings in the middle of W. 38th St. became an unassuming battle site in preserving the character of Chelsea and Hell’s Kitchen, as well as a telling example of how vigilance and activism can yield results.

The buildings — two of them stand-

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January 21 - 27, 2016

ing four stories tall and one at three stories — were acquired by an entity controlled by Peter Poon, who bought out the tenants living in the building in order to demolish the complex. Poon hails from Peter F. Poon Architects, known for developing budget hotels — and applied to do just that. His

Dec. 2014 application indicates that he planned a 22-floor hotel on the W. 38th St. site. Furthermore, another associated application to the Department of Buildings (DOB) indicated that the current W. 38th St. buildings were single room occupancies (SROs), which they have never been. The contractors (H&O Associates) also claimed that the proposed construction would not increase or decrease the number of residences, nor would it alter their layouts — clearly at odds with the proposed demolition.

These falsifications, unnoticed by a process that relies largely upon on the honor system, brings to light an even greater flaw in the DOB’s application process: the buildings should never have been able to be marked for demolition in the first place, as they fall within the boundaries of the Special Garment Center District — a zoning district that makes them subject to particular restrictions with regards to demolition.

As the residential buildings did not fall under the category of structures that are exempt from the demolition restrictions (hotels, school dorms, etc.), were not marked as unsafe, and did not receive a Certificate of No Harassment, demolition should have been out of the question.

Making the case even more demonstrable of systemic dysfunction at the DOB is the way in which the situation was brought to light.

“We discovered this simply by my walking by the buildings — just bizarre,” said Joe Restuccia, a Community Board 4 (CB4) member. “I believe this was caught right at the beginning.”

As he walked past the buildings on Dec. 18, he noticed that there was scaffolding being erected around the building consistent with that used in demolition rather than façade work, and began to investigate the situation. When suspicions were confirmed, CB4 contacted local elected officials, including Manhattan Borough President Gale Brewer, City Councilmember Corey Johnson, State Senator Brad Hoylman and State Assemblymember Richard Gottfried.

Through the efforts of CB4 and elected officials, the issue was brought to the attention of the DOB, which quickly issued a Stop Work Order on the buildings (windows had already been removed, in preparation for demolition, at the time of the Order). In midJan., the DOB rejected the outstanding permits for demolition as well as the application for the building, following an audit conducted by the Department.

This victory for a community trying to protect the character of its neighborhood is a welcome, albeit rare, example of cooperation between residents, elected officials and the DOB — which has come under fire in recent months, due to similar incidents in which application fraud slipped through the cracks in the system — making clear the Department’s need for increased funds, and, more importantly, a centralized system.

While CB4 and others have acknowledged that their response to the situation (curtailing the destruction of the buildings and the razing of a hotel) is commendable, concern has also been expressed that the process was able to progress as far as it did, while flagrantly violating protocol — raising questions of the DOB’s willpower and ability to catch violations, and about how frequently buildings have passed by without anyone noticing or fighting back.

“Manhattan Community Board 4 has worked hard to preserve the diversity of our Hell’s Kitchen/Clinton and Chelsea neighborhoods by successfully securing protections against demolition and tenant harassment in the zoning,” reads a statement from CB4 Chair Delores Rubin. “The situation at 319-321 West 38th Street is cause for concern when the city allows developers to circumvent these protections.”

In a Jan. 20 email sent to Chelsea Now, DOB spokesperson Alex Schnell noted, “Following concerns raised by a local elected official regarding this project, the Department performed an audit of all of the applicant’s documents, and it was determined that the form had a misstatement on it when it was filed.

The Department has proceeded to revoke the permits. A Certificate of No Harassment will need to be obtained from HPD [Housing Preservation & Development] prior to proceeding with this project.”

Commenting on the falsification of DOB documents that pass with “not even a question, let alone a red flag,” Restuccia described the prevailing mood among CB4 membership as “frightening for us, that the Department of Buildings has no means or methods to check that if somebody’s filed something in an affidavit, that they’d enter it, and it wouldn’t bounce.”

It’s a situation Restuccia believes is becoming far too common. “How many are out there,” he wondered, “that we’re not seeing? The moral is: You don’t walk down the right streets, you lose two buildings.” .com

Spa Makes Waves With Healing Island Ways

BY DUSICA SUE MALESEIVC There is a way to be transported to Hawaii without leaving Chelsea.

Healing Happy Hour — an acupuncture and Asian medical spa at 134 W. 26th St. btw. Sixth and Seventh Aves.

— offers a treatment called the “Body & Soul Aloha” that mimics the waves of the idyllic islands.

“It is supposed to make the patient or the client feel as if they’re lying on the waves of Hawaii,” explained Alice Kim L.Ac, LMT, a licensed acupuncturist who created the spa’s menu. “It has that kind of very deep rhythm to the massage.”

Kim said the Body & Soul Aloha treatment combines acupuncture, aromatherapy and a special Hawaiian technique called Lomi Lomi, which goes slowly, and utilizes the elbow to give a deep massage.

“We like to say that we’re all about the aloha life,” Dr. Nathalie Guillaume, the spa’s CEO and Medical Director, said with a laugh. “We’re trying to bring people away from their office and kind of step into that wave-like movement.”

Healing Happy Hour is bringing indigenous, alternative forms of healing

Courtesy theglobalclinic.org Courtesy Healing Happy Hour

Staff member Amanda Boulware checks out a patient and offers information on nutritional supplements, Chinese herbs and homeopathic remedies from Healing Happy Hour’s medical dispensary.

found in places like Hawaii and Bali and packaging it in a New York kind of way, said Guillaume in a phone interview.

There is also the “Amazonian Escape,” which involves a form of aromatherapy called raindrop therapy, said Guillaume.

The masseuse drops oils in a very specific rhythm on a person’s back, she explained.

In addition, a Thai herb sack — feeling like a compression — is also used during the massage.

Guillaume said the more spa-like approach to acupuncture is what sets Healing Happy Hour apart. The spa opened in Chelsea around eight months ago, she said.

L to R: Alice and Nathalie on a trip to Guatemala with Global Clinic, which provides holistic medical practices to populations with limited or no access to conventional healthcare.

Kim, who joined the spa in October, said the neighborhood — with its vibrant art scene, central location and diverse population — was a great fit for their services and philosophy.

“People are more open-minded in

Continued on page 12

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Rhymes With Crazy THE WEST SIDE’S COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER

Publisher

Jennifer Goodstein

Editor Scott Stiffler

Editorial Assistant Sean Egan

Buzz On, Buzz Off: A Starbucks Tutorial

Rhiannon Hsu Chris Ortiz

BY LENORE SKENAZY Please pay attention. There will be a quiz.

Starbucks recently took out a two-page, fold-out, super-slick ad in the New Yorker to educate us benighted, Folgers-swilling plebes on “The Art of Espresso and Milk.”

Using a chart only slightly less complex than the Periodic Table of the Elements (for instance, it did not list Barium or Neptunium), it showed a sort of timeline of coffee concoctions, starting with:

Contributors

Doppio: “Two shots of espresso. Straight.”

Art Director Michael Shirey

Graphic Designers

Lincoln Anderson Lindsay Bu Stephanie Buhmann Jackson Chen Sean Egan Dusica Sue Malesevic Winnie McCroy Puma Perl Yannic Rack Paul Schindler Trav S.D. Eileen Stukane

Executive VP of Advertising Amanda Tarley

Account Executives Jack Agliata Allison Greaker Jim Steele Julio Tumbaco

Published by

NYC Community Media, LLC

One Metrotech North, 10th Floor, Brooklyn, NY 11201 Phone: (212) 229-1890 Fax: (212) 229-2790 www.chelseanow.com scott@chelseanow.com © 2016 NYC Community Media, LLC

Latte Macchito: “Foamed whole milk marked with shots of espresso.”

Flat White: “Sweet ristretto espresso shots finished with whole steamed milk.”

Cappuccino: “A shot of espresso topped with a deep layer of foamed milk.”

hogging the seat across from them.

And now, for us not to sound like idiots there — “I’d like a coffee regular, please” — we have to study gradations between coffee drinks more subtle than the ones between flatworms and tapeworms. (Do not go look these up! Or at least, do not click on “images.”)

Starbucks has already amused itself by training us to say “tall,” when we mean “small” — tall being the littlest cup of coffee you can get without whittling yourself a mug on the spot. And some marketing exec earned her wings by convincing us that grande and venti are the two most sophisticated words in the world, even though these really mean, “I am a grand baboon,” and “Excuse me.

My vent is open.”

Other Starbucks words that you might not realize have direct English translations are: Caffè Espresso Frappuccino. Translation: Milkshake.

Vanilla Frappuccino. Translation: Vanilla Milkshake.

And, but of course, Caffè Latte: “A shot of espresso in steamed milk lightly topped with foam.”

Got that? Okay, quick: Which drink dumps a shot of espresso into a cup of foamed Barium?

Ah, just yankin’ your chain. That’s at Dunkin’ Donuts. As for the Starbucks chart, I didn’t even give you all the concoctions on the list to prevent your head from exploding like an overheated doppio ristretto machine. (Didn’t Ristretto start out by making a boy out of wood? Or am I confused?)

Anyway, after all this, the ad explained as if to a dim bulb: “Latte Macchiato: Foamed milk marked with espresso makes it intensely bold.”

Okay. While, “Flat White,” which is — as you’ll immediately recall — sweet ristretto espresso finished with blah blah blah is “rich & velvety.”

Never mind that the pictures of these two ostensibly polar opposite drinks look about as unsimilar as those “Spot the Difference!” puzzles you do while waiting for a Greyhound bus.

Which perhaps explains why the ad is driving me to drink something stronger than a latte macchiato. (Or was it a caffè latte?)

What I mean is: I’m drinking grain alcohol mixed with Yoo-hoo.

You see, here’s a company that already asks us to fork over all our cash previously reserved for necessities like medicine and HBO, just to drink some scorched caffeine in a pseudo-chatty place where everyone is actually on their phone, staring at their laptops, and

Caramel Flan Frappuccino. Translation: Gloppy Milkshake.

Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino. Translation: Crunchy Milkshake.

Double Chocolaty Chip Crème Frappuccino. Translation: Shameless Milkshake.

Hazelnut Frappuccino. Translation: Milkshake for High-Income Squirrels.

Shaken Sweet Tea. Translation: Tea with sugar. Duh. And someone who isn’t you got paid (and healthcare, too!) to shake it.

Caffè Americano, by the way, simply means coffee. Like the stuff you get at the donut cart, for $1, without having to learn a new language, or inquire as to how artisinally the cart guy plans to dissolve your sugar.

And with the extra $4 you save, you can buy several hand twisted, cane sugar-dipped inzuppare ciambelle.

You know, glazed donuts.

Lenore Skenazy is a keynote speaker who authored the book, and founded the blog, Free-Range Kids (freerangekids.com).

Member of the New York Press Association

Chelsea Now is published weekly by NYC Community Media

LLC, One Metrotech North, 10th Floor, Brooklyn, NY 11201.

(212) 229-1890. Annual subscription by mail in Manhattan and Brooklyn $75. The entire contents of newspaper, including advertising, are copyrighted and no part may be reproduced without the express permission of the publisher - © 2016 NYC Community Media LLC, Postmaster: Send address changes to Chelsea Now, One Metrotech North, 10th Floor, Brooklyn, NY 11201.

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not be liable for slight changes or typographical errors that do not lessen the value of an advertisement. The publisher’s liability for other errors or omissions in connection with an advertisement is strictly limited to publication of the advertisement in any subsequent issue.

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A driver prepares a carriage in front of Chateau Stables, on W. 48th St., for a ride around the block. Driving a carriage on the street, permitted during certain evening hours, will be eliminated if the new legislation passes.

Equine Equity Efforts Still Elusive Continued from page 2 as well as in Central Park, he estimates that at least a quarter of the 800 pedicab drivers in the city exclusively rely on the park to earn their livelihood.

“Our industry has been completely left out of the discussion,” said Peter Meitzler, another driver and the co-founder of the New York City Pedicab Owners’ Association.

“There is that infamous saying, ‘If you are not seated at the table, you are on the menu.’ ” The legislation was so widely unpopular that it even caused one of the carriage owner’s chief critics to weigh in on their side — sort of.

Elizabeth Forel, the president of the Coalition to Ban Horse-Drawn Carriages, said the advocacy group was opposed to the deal because it would preserve the carriage trade at the expense of the horses. “[This plan] smells like a convenient real estate deal to us,” she said.

Her comment also recalls the origin of this issue for the mayor, who pledged to eliminate the industry in front of wealthy campaign supporters in 2013, before he was elected.

Some supporters of New Yorkers for Clean, Livable and Safe Streets (NYCLASS), the anti-carriage group that contributed generously to de Blasio’s mayoral bid as a result, have been accused by

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January 21 - 27, 2016

the carriage industry of backing the cause simply so they could snatch up the horse stables, which occupy prime real estate on the thriving West Side.

The group also issued a statement on Tuesday, saying that the deal was promising but did “not go far enough” in protecting the animals. In the same vein, many of the carriage drivers remarked this week that it was ironic that the mayor’s efforts, supposedly spurred by concern for the animals, fell short on precisely that front.

“Under the plan that he’s proposed, the horses would work more,” said Christina Hansen, who does not own a carriage medallion, but drives carriages out of the W. 52nd St. stable, as well as another one on W. 38th St. “It’s clearly not about the horses, because we told [the mayor about these issues] and tried to explain it to him,” she said. “But he’s not a horse person.”

The Council speaker, Mark-Viverito, told reporters on Tuesday that she felt “confident” the deal would be approved.

Whether or not that’s the case, Levine, whose district borders the northern portion of the park, expressed what many of his fellow councilmembers are likely to echo after they vote on the bill.

“This has been an intense process that has occupied an extraordinary level of time and energy from all sides,” he said.

“Everyone is going to be relieved that we can focus our attention on other issues that are facing the council.” .com

POLICE BLOTTER able to describe him as male, white, in his early 20s, with brown hair, about 5’6,” wearing dark green pants and a bow tie. As of Thurs., Jan. 14, the NYPD obtained surveillance video of the suspect, clad in a brown jacket, black scarf, and green pants. Anyone with information is urged to contact NYPD’s Crime Stoppers at 800-577TIPS, nypdcrimestoppers.com, or text 274637 and enter “TIP577.” All calls are kept strictly confidential.

Courtesy DCPI, NYPD

A screenshot from surveillance video, showing the suspect in an ongoing investigation of a Jan. 12 groping incident.

SEX ABUSE: Groper at large, community aid needed The suspect of a sex abuse crime is still at large, and the NYPD is looking for community assistance in apprehending him. At about 4:30 p.m. on Tues. Jan. 12, a man grabbed the buttocks of a 12-year-old girl as she passed by him on W. 28th St. She screamed and ran back home, where her mother called 911. At the time, the girl was

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CRIMINAL POSSESSION OF A FORGED INSTRUMENT: Alabama scammer headed to the slammer A 22-year-old Manhattan man attempted to use some faux-southern charm to drive off into the sunset with an ill-gotten car on Tues., Jan 15.

At about 4:46 p.m., he attempted to remove a 2005 Honda Accord from the Police Impound at Pier 76 (southwest corner of W. 38th St. & 12th Ave.) using a forged Alabama registration. Upon closer inspection, it was discovered that the Alabama dealer plates provided were also forged, having not been registered since 2011.

The man was arrested before he could make a getaway, behind the wheel or otherwise.

LOST PROPERTY: Globetrotting gal misplaces miscellany Retracing her steps might be out of the question for an adventurous (and unfortunate) visitor from Melbourne.

The 50-year-old had travelled from

THE 10th PRECINCT Located at 230 W. 20th St. (btw. Seventh & Eighth Aves.).

Commander: Deputy Inspector Michele Irizarry. Main number: 212-741-8211. Community Affairs: 212-741-8226. Crime Prevention: 212-741-8226.

Domestic Violence: 212-7418216. Youth Officer: 212-7418211. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-924-3377. Detective Squad: 212-741-8245. The Community Council meets on the last Wed. of the month, 7 p.m., at the 10th Precinct or other locations to be announced. The next meeting is Jan. 27.

.com

THE 13th PRECINCT Located at 230 E. 21st St. (btw.

Second & Third Aves.). Deputy Inspector: David Ehrenberg.

Call 212-477-7411. Community Affairs: 212-477-7427. Crime Prevention: 212-477-7427.

Domestic Violence: 212-4773863. Youth Officer: 212-4777411. Auxiliary Coordinator: 212-477-4380. Detective Squad: 212-477-7444. The Community Council meets on the third Tues. of the month, 6:30 p.m., at the 13th Precinct. The next meeting is Feb. 16.

her native Australia, to Iceland, then to NYC — only realizing she was missing a bunch of stuff while checking into a Holiday Inn (232 W. 29th St., btw. Seventh & Eighth Aves.) at about 9 a.m. on Thurs., Jan 14. There had thankfully been no charges to her credit card, but the Aussie’s accident cost her a number of items, including an iPhone 4, UGG gloves, a Victoria’s Secret makeup bag, a Coach handbag, multiple designer sunglasses, $1,000 in US currency, and 120 euros.

CRIMINAL MISCHIEF: Wanton destruction not a bright idea A 53-year-old proved she was a fairly dim bulb, when she was caught removing a light fixture from the wall of the hallway of her own W. 20th St. apartment complex. On Sat., Jan. 2, the woman grabbed at the light fixture and attempted to rip it from the wall.

Finding this method ineffective, she then used a hammer to successfully

dislodge it. Video evidence of the incident shone a light on the culprit, who was identified by management, and arrested on Tues., Jan. 17, after a report on Jan. 15 sparked police interest in the case.

PETIT LARCENY: Key-p it simple, stupid One criminal had the key — literally — to some easy cash, and implemented a straightforward scheme to unlock it. The thief walked into a Duane Reade (131 Eighth Ave., btw.

W. 16th & W. 17th Sts.) at about 7:30 p.m. on Sat., Jan. 16, and made his way downstairs to the cash register.

Using a register key in his possession, he opened the till, took $100, locked the register, and left. There was video evidence at the scene, and it is believed that the perp might be a 25-year-old former employee.

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It’s All About the Aloha Life at Healing Happy Hour Continued from page 7 this area in terms of taking care of their wellness,” said Kim in a phone interview.

Guillaume said there is already a myriad of wellness-type businesses (Pilates, yoga, spas, etc.) that made Chelsea very appealing. Also helpful is the fact that many corporations have their local headquarters near W. 42 St. and Penn Station.

“The location is great, but also the opportunities to reach out to so many different demographics is also right there,” she said.

Guillaume, who has a doctorate in acupuncture and Oriental medicine, was practicing as a solo acupuncturist working different events throughout the city before deciding to open Healing Happy Hour. She was also doing clinical work focused on rehabilitation and chronic diseases, and teaching at the New York College of Health Professions.

Three years ago, one of her students recommended that she go to Guatemala, where an extra acupuncturist was needed for a project. There, she met Kim. “We connected instantly — had a

Courtesy Healing Happy Hour

A spa-like approach to acupuncture is what sets Healing Happy Hour apart.

Here, Dr. Guillaume performs a standard auricular acupuncture protocol for a patient to relieve stress, anxiety and pain.

lot of great things to share,” Guillaume recalled.

The two kept in touch and it became clear it was a “no-brainer” that they should work together, she said.

Kim took a different route to acupuncture. She worked as a financial consultant after getting a degree in accounting and finance from New York University.

“But I actually — just from working in that type of environment — realized that this is not what I want to do,” she said.

She was always passionate about healing and holistic medicine. In 2008, she went to massage school and eventually got a master’s degree in acupuncture from Pacific College of Oriental Medicine, which has a campus in Lower

Manhattan.

“So I kind of fell into this field,” she said.

Kim said there are some misconceptions about acupuncture, as people automatically think of hypodermic needles, which are much thicker, and can hurt when used for injections.

Acupuncture needles are as thin as a strand of hair and only penetrate the skin .3 to .7 inches, she explained. The needles do not touch nerves or blood vessels, but rather tap into the body’s life force energy called qi, Kim said.

Each person’s body processes the sensation of the needles differently.

“The only way you can really feel it is to try it yourself,” said Kim. Guillaume said the spa is focused on giving people a unique experience where clients are not just a number.

“Healing Happy Hour is about promoting taking time for yourself,” she said. “You don’t have a lot of time in New York City. Everything in New York City is so quick.”

For more information, visit healinghappyhour.com or call 1-844-77-HAPPY (774-2779).

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US Details Child Porn, Drug Evidence Against Chelsea Dentist

BY DUNCAN OSBORNE The federal government appears to have strong evidence implicating Dr. John Wolf, a Manhattan dentist, in possessing child pornography and crystal meth, according to documents recently filed in the case.

Wolf was recorded in meetings by a confidential informant and an undercover agent from the Federal Bureau of Investigation at least 11 times. He also made a videotaped statement after he was arrested on Nov. 20, according to a Jan. 5 letter from the Office of the US Attorney for the Eastern District of New York that detailed evidence that was turned over to the defense. The government also has text messages between Wolf and the confidential informant, and one of those occurred in 2014. The contents of the recordings and messages were not disclosed in the Jan. 5 letter.

The government seized smartphones, computers, tablets, and storage devices when his Manhattan home and dental office were searched on Nov. 20, according to the indictment in the case.

The defense also received from prosecutors “subpoena returns from Gmail, Manhattan Mini Storage, and Time Warner Cable,” the Jan. 5 letter said.

Wolf, who is gay, is charged with two counts of drug possession with intent to distribute, one count of possessing child pornography, and one count of distributing child pornography. He could face as much as 14 to 17-and-a-half years in prison if convicted.

The descriptions in court records were of just three child pornography videos out of the at least 23 videos Wolf allegedly possessed are horrific.

He denied ever having sex with any child after his arrest, and nothing in court records indicates he expressed an interest in having sex with children. In court records, he allegedly called the

videos “some twisted shit” and “jerk-off material.”

At his arrest, the government leaked inflammatory allegations to the media, charging that Wolf, who is HIV-positive, had engaged in sex with animals, drugged a man and then had condomless sex with him, and punctured holes in condoms that he then used during sex.

Wolf, 59, is not facing any charges related to these stories that appear to have been used mostly to generate press coverage.

The evidence in the case is appearing early. Following a Nov. 24 bail hearing, Marc Agnifilo, an attorney at Brafman & Associates who is representing Wolf, told reporters that he sought a preliminary hearing in this case. That would prompt the government to more quickly indict Wolf to block the hearing, and avoid having some of its witnesses testify. That also meant that discovery in the case moved faster and Agnifilo could see the evidence against his client and perhaps counter some of the government’s more inflammatory allegations.

“From my perspective, it’s noise that I have to get rid of,” Agnifilo said in Nov. He did not respond to calls seeking comment this week. The US Attorney’s Office also declined to comment.

The confidential informant is a meth dealer who was arrested at JFK Airport in March of 2015 carrying 1,844 grams of methamphetamine.

From July 2014 through Oct. 2014, the dealer was purchasing crystal meth in Los Angeles and reselling it to “approximately 10 customers in the New York and Philadelphia areas, including Wolf, for their personal use and further distribution,” according to the criminal complaint that was filed in the case. The dealer began cooperating

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Dr. John Wolf, a Chelsea dentist, faces up to 17 and a half years on child pornography and drug charges.

with the government, and recorded Wolf in Oct. and Nov. 2015. It is unknown if the dealer recorded other customers for the government.

In the Jan. 5 letter, the government told Agnifilo that it would have an expert in computer forensics testify on “the location of the child pornography on the electronic devices and storage media seized from the premises occupied by the defendant” and a second expert would testify “that the children

depicted in the child pornography are real minors.”

The Jan. 5 letter indicates that Agnifilo and the US Attorney’s Office have already engaged in plea discussions. The letter notes that “no plea offer is effective unless and until made in writing and signed by authorized representatives of the Office.”

The US Attorney for the Eastern District of New York, which is headquartered in Brooklyn, is also prosecuting the rentboy.com case.

That escort website was shuttered last Aug., and its owner and six employees were arrested for violating the federal Travel Act, a 1961 statute that makes crimes that are typically, though not always, prosecuted by state prosecutors (such as prostitution or gambling, a federal crime when they are committed across state or foreign borders ,or done by using the mail, telephone, or the Internet.

That case prompted protests in four cities and condemnation from some LGBT groups. The seven defendants in that case have yet to be indicted and appear to be engaged in extended plea negotiations with the government.

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Gansevoort Developers Press Their Case With Pushy Polling

BY LUCAS ROPEK Since the announcement that Neil Bender of William Gottlieb Real Estate and Aurora Capital Associates plan to redevelop nine buildings on a block of Gansevoort St. in the landmarked Meatpacking District, community response has been overwhelmingly hostile.

Many locals consider the block’s old brick buildings valuable artifacts of the neighborhood’s history, and believe that demolishing some of them and adding stories atop others — both of which are called for in the plan — would be a tragedy, not a triumph.

The Gansevoort developers are now being accused of using a push poll, in what appears to be the latest attempt to sway the community toward accepting their plan.

Push polling is a form of telemarketing disguised as a survey, in which a caller asks the listener a series of leading questions meant to influence his or her opinion on a particular subject.

The Gansevoort pollsters reportedly asked community members questions like, “Would you prefer to see a series of decrepit, partly demolished buildings, or a historically sensitive restoration of what Gansevoort St. looked like until the 1930s?”

Push polling is traditionally used during political campaigns to win votes and tar opposing candidates.

Andrew Berman, executive director of the Greenwich Village Society for Historic Preservation (GVSHP), and a vociferous opponent of the developments, made public the claims of polling at the most recent GVSHP committee meeting. He reported that nearly a dozen concerned residents had reached out to him about the poll over the past week. Many of the polled weren’t persuaded, but rather, deeply “annoyed,” Berman said.

Katherine Schoonover, 62, a neighborhood resident who is also a GVSHP trustee, received her call on Jan. 13, and was asked a series of questions related to the deal: Had she heard of the Gansevoort development plans? Would she rather see a beautiful restoration of pre-1930s architecture, or watch her neighborhood buildings quietly cave in on themselves from age?

When Schoonover rebuffed this line .com

Courtesy BKSK Architects

A rendering showing how developers would raise building heights — either by adding stories or building completely anew — at the west end of Gansevoort St. (btw. Greenwich & Washington Sts.).

of questioning by asserting that they presented a false choice, the caller then dovetailed into a series of odd questions, including inquiries into her political affiliation, race, family size and also, apropos of nothing, “What do you think of Andrew Berman?”

Schoonover assumes these were asked to gauge what factors might persuade her to support the project in the future.

The mentioning of Berman is not surprising given what a vocal opponent he’s been ever since the deal’s announcement. The preservationist calls the poll a “sign of desperation,” and believes it only highlights the serious lack of public confidence in the developers’ plans.

For further evidence, Berman cites the many recent community meetings where residents have expressed disapproval of the scheme.

“There was an enormous turnout against the proposal at the Landmarks Preservation Commission public hearing,” he said, referring to the agency’s Nov. 10 hearing on the matter.

Indeed, if push polls are meant to persuade, this one seems to be doing it completely wrong.

“They were trying to push me, but they didn’t succeed in changing my mind at all,” said Schoonover, who insists that her view of the project is still “entirely negative.” She also called the poll “deceptive” and a “pretty low way to go about doing things.”

As far as those like Schoonover are concerned, the Gansevoort developers are clearly being far too pushy to win residents’ hearts and minds.

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Photos by Lindsay Bu

A representative from the Office of Emergency Management talks to a local resident, at the Community Resource Fair that preceded the Town Hall.

Questions, Answers, Assurances at Crowded Town Hall Continued from page 4 Similarly, when a question brought up homelessness in the city and the inefficiency of calling 311, Program Analyst of the Department of Homeless Services Erin Eisenberg acknowledged the problem.

“I completely understand. I go through it myself. I’ve timed it — it’s probably about five minutes just to get through the call. The 311 app is really good. It takes 60 seconds to use the app. It’s GPS-based. You scroll down, and reporting a homeless person is one of the options on the home screen,” Eisenberg said.

Other lines of inquiry from the audience were met with less clear-cut solutions.

Johnson asked Byron Muñoz, the intergovernmental and community liaison for the Department of Buildings (DOB), about how one would get the DOB to further investigate a complaint, specifically if the complaint is closed because the inspector could not enter the building during his or her visit.

“Because resources are limited, we go out twice, and we attempt two times to gain access [to buildings], and if there is an illegal situation, we can bring that before a judge…Otherwise, the complaint will be closed, and what you will do is then request for a new inspection, and you can always follow up with my colleagues at the council,” said Muñoz. .com

“That is not very user-friendly,” Johnson said in a joking manner, to which Muñoz suggested that he could be contacted directly, then gave his office number and email address to the audience.

Another question to the DOB asked why After Hours Variances were being handed out “like candy.” Johnson read aloud, “What do we do to ensure that people have real livability without being unable to sleep?”

“In the case that you’re experiencing after-hours work that is not allowing you to get the rest that you need as a human person, you would contact me or anyone at our department, and we would look at modifying that After Hours Variance to a reasonable hour,” Muñoz said. “After Hours Variances, if you are wondering, are most often issued for one category, which is called ‘public safety.’ Public safety literally means traffic conditions. The developer or applicant is saying that due to traffic conditions in the area, the density of it is making it unsafe for me to engage in the delivery or removal of debris during certain times of the day,” After-hours work may take place at any time after 6 p.m. and before 7 a.m. as well as on weekends.

After a few more questions — with topics including the improvement of animal shelters and better management of overflowing street corner trash cans — Manhattan Borough President Gale Brewer spoke.

“I love constituent issues,” she said.

“I’m one of these people who loves to

L to R: Commissioner Mary T. Bassett of the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, Councilmember Corey Johnson, and Commanding Officer Joseph Simonetti of the Sixth Precinct.

sit in a district office and solve constituent problems.

“Everyone in this audience,” Brewer noted, “has ideas that need to be addressed. You have public servants here on all sides of this podium who solve problems with us, and it’s really an honor to be here tonight.”

Johnson thanked Brewer for crediting him as one of those problem-solvers, then concluded the meeting by

expressing gratitude for the spirit of collaboration between electeds and constituents.

“I say thank you,” he told the at-capacity crowd, “because, each and every day, I get to walk up the steps of City Hall, and I sort of pinch myself. I can’t believe that I get to engage in and do this kind of work. It’s an honor, a privilege…and I’m grateful that I get to do this kind of work with you.”

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Sirico’s Caterers Sirico’s is a tasteful event planning and catering hall in Brooklyn, maintaining a beautiful facilities with top-notch event services. With three event halls accomodating 300 guests. They pride themselves on elegant wedding receptions and private events that are second to none.

In The Heart Of Dyker Heights 8015/23 13th Avenue Bklyn, NY 11228 718-331-29008–331–2900 www.siricoscaterers.net Soleil Caterers 212-316-5000 Your wedding day is one of the most memorable days of your life and we at Soleil Caterers would love to be a part of it. No matter what your theme or food preferences are, we

will work closely with you down to the last detail to be sure that every moment is exactly as you picture.

Terrace On The Park 52-11 111th Street Flushing, NY 11368 718-592-5000 www.terraceonthepark.com Award winning food, breath taking views, and impeccable service.

Tio Pepe 168 W. Fourth St. in New York 212-242-9338, tiopepenyc.com At Tio Pepe you have a choice of atmosphere. The skylight dining room supplies a touch of romance while the enclosed sidewalk cafe provides a room with a view of Greenwich Village.

The Vanderbilt at South Beach Waterfront Facility 300 Father Capodanno Blvd., Staten Island, NY 718-447-0800 www.vanderbiltsouthbeach.com Boasting both a luxurious banquet hall, as well as magnificent outdoor oceanfront space.

Vavaldi’s 201-10 Cross Island Parkway Service Road Bayside, NY 11360 718-352-2300 www.vavaldiny.com Woodhaven Manor Caterers & Banquet* 96-01 Jamaica, Ave., Woodhaven, NY 11421 718-805-8500 woodhavenmanorny.com We have created the ultimate venue for the most special of celebrations!

ENTERTAINMENT Amazing Bottle Dancers Add a touch of tradition and excitement to your B’nai Mitzvah or Wedding! bottledancers.com 800.716.0556 East Coast Band New York’s Ultimate Party Band 516-354-2372 EastCoastBand.com Soul System Orchestras 1650 Broadway, Suite #503 New York, 800-466-7685 soulsystemorchestras.com Soulsystem Orchestras bands have been on the leading edge in providing “elegantly hip” wedding entertainment for the past 15 years.

Clients can choose from a 3-piece ensemble to a 20-piece swing orchestra and beyond.

FORMALWEAR Lindman NewYork What the dress is to the bride, the necktie is to the groom.

Well, perhaps not quite, but it is important. Well-designed neckties for you, the best man, and the groomsmen will capture—as well as add to—the style and sophistication of the wedding as a whole.

917-364-6675 LindmanNewYork.com

HEALTH & BEAUTY Central Park Cosmetics 200 West 57th Street Suite 1005 10th Floor NYC www.centralparkcosmetics.com 646-692-3248 Look and feel your best!

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Coolsculpting Ultherapy™ Microdermabrasion IPL Skin Rejubenation Facials

HONEYMOON DESTINATIONS Sand Castle on the Beach 127 Smithfield, Frederiksted St. Croix, Virgin Islands 340-772-1205 sandcastleonthebeach.com Our quaint, beach side boutique hotel is designed to meet your personal vacation style. We maintain a sense of intimacy and freedom in this seaside oasis. It’s our home and we invite you to relax and unwind in this comfortable and tranquil setting.

Villa Amor Camino a Playa los Muertos, Sayulita Bahia de Banderas Nayarit, Mexico 619-819-5407 hotelvillaamorsayulita.com.

“Sweeping ocean vistas and a sexy room concept do away with outside walls and invite you to see Sayulita through a rustling fringe of palm fronds.”Travel+Leisure.

JEWELRY Fortunoff Fine Jewelry New Jewelry Boutique

by Esther Fortunoff 1504 Old Country Road, Westbury, NY 11590 FortunoffJewelry.com 800-636-7886 Shop 24/7 - Phone appointments available Solomon Jewelers 74 Manetto Hill Plaza Plainview NY 11803 516-681-6111 www.solomonjewelers.com A third generation family business with seventy years of experience, Solomon Jewlers is the only premiere certified Verragio Dealer in NY State.

OFFICIANTS Alisa Tongg Storyteller & Celebrant For AisleBound Couples Ceremonies from Scratch Serving NYC, New Jersey and Pennsylvania 570-369-3955 www.alisatonggcelebrant.com For This Joyous Occasion Officiating Services & Seaside Ceremonies Andrea Purtell NJ Wedding Officiant Weddings, Vow Renewals & Baby Blessings Certified in NJ All Faiths/Non-denominational Traditions/Lifestyles Point Pleasant Beach Atlantic Highlands Red Bank Asbury Park Ocean Grove Island Beach Long Beach Island www.forthisjoyousoccasion.com thisjoyous@gmail.com 848-333-9948

Mitch the Minister Mitchell S. Maged Wedding Officiant and Minister 201-410-6834 www.mitchtheminister.com email: mitchtheminister@aol.com 70 Oneida Avenue, Oakland, NJ 07436 Ny Life Events Mary A. Carroll – Universal Life Minister 201-410-0782 – In your home or venue • Wedding/Civil Union – NonDenominational • Evenings/Weekends – NJ-NY-NYC www.NJLifeEvents.com Reverend Greg Kits, DD NY & NJ Wedding Officiant 973-220-9400 text/cell Gregg37@optimum.net Servicing NY, NJ, & NYC www.GayWeddingMan.net www.TheWeddingMan.net Reverend Luisa’s Holistic Weddings & Ceremonies Interfaith Minister Bilingual English & Spanish Wedding Ceremonies for Tristate Couples 2014 ABC-NY Sparkle Award Top Wedding Vendor Officiant 2015 Couples Choice Award Wedding Wire 917-572-4831 revluisaceremonies.com Reverend Samora Smith Common Ground Ceremonies Ordained as an Interfaith Minister Specializing in all types of ceremonies Commongroundceremonies.com 711 East 11th Street, New York 646-709-2090 Sacred Journey Healing* Reverend Kyle Applegate Interfaith Minister 212-777-1119 kyle@sacredjourneyhealing.com sacredjourneyhealing.com Stephen David DYM/WEDinNYC LGBT Wedding Officiant Creating Custom Wedding Ceremonies for you and your partner. www.WEDinNYC.com 917.855.6830

PHOTOGRAPHY & VIDEO Glamour Me Photo & Video* 109-19 Rockaway Blvd.

South Ozone Park, NY 11420 718-504-1970 www.glamourmestudio.com

REAL ESTATE SERVICES Accurate Building Inspectors 1860 Bath Ave. in Brooklyn 718-265-8191, accuratebuilding.com Accurate Building Inspectors is a full-service home and building inspection firm servicing the tri-state area since 1961.

Rev. Kyle Applegate Interfaith minister 212-777-1119 kyle@sacredjourneyhealing.com www.sacredjourneyhealing.com

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ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT

Courtesy the artist and Nicelle Beauchene

“Pure Potential No.1 through 4” / 2015. Colored pencil, ink, and graphite on antique ledger book pages. 54 1/2 x 202 inches (48 ledger book pages).

Stunningly Intricate and Deeply Meditative

Despont’s drawings invoke her recent Bali roots

BY STEPHANIE BUHMANN Her first solo museum exhibition, “Louise Despont: Energy Scaffolds and Information Architecture” features a site-specific architectural installation and several series of large-scale drawings.

These works, all of which were commissioned by The Drawing Center, promise to be deeply influenced by Despont’s recent relocation to Bali.

Best known for her stunningly intricate drawings on antique ledger paper, Despont employs compasses, stencils, and rulers to create deeply meditative compositions. One of the architectural works on display, for example, will hold a monumental frieze drawing composed of no less than seven panels.

For Despont, each drawn line symbol.com

Courtesy the artist and Nicelle Beauchene

“Return to Formlessness” / 2015. Colored pencil and graphite on antique ledger book pages (71 x 112.5 inches, 20 ledger book pages).

izes the invisible energy that flows mysteriously through the human body. In addition to her own work, Despont has also invited conceptual artist Aaron Taylor Kuffner to present his gamelatron, an original instrument created by him that is a robotic variant of the gamelan, the traditional Balinese and Javanese orchestra that includes vibraphones, drums, chimes, bells, and gongs.

Jan. 22–Mar. 20 at The Drawing Center (35 Wooster St., btw. Grand & Broome Sts.). Hours: Wed., Fri., Sat. & Sun., 12–6 p.m. & Thurs., 12–8 p.m. (free every Thurs., 6–8 p.m.). General admission, $5 ($3 for students/seniors, free for children under 12). Call 212-2192166 or visit drawingcenter.org.

Courtesy The Drawing Center

Despont has invited conceptual artist Aaron Taylor Kuffner to present his gamelatron, a robotic variant of the traditional Balinese and Javanese gamelan.

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Just Do Art

BY SCOTT STIFFLER

A KICKSTARTER KICKOFF FOR “LEAVES OF GRASS I TRIMMED WITH MY MOWER” His body and soul bled dry by 1,000 humbling cuts coming from obligations to work and family, the caged bird that is the suburban dad seeks solace in the little things: grilling meat in the back yard, small talk with his fellow bread-winners, and by-the-numbers lovemaking sessions with his wife “in the bed I paid for from my job.” Laugh if you must, but there’s a certain wounded dignity to this quiet struggle — and it’s all been captured by self-anointed “Dad Poets” Ralph Dobis and Zeke Anderson, in their new collection of rhymes: “Leaves of Grass I Trimmed With My Mower.

In order for these contemporary Walt Whitmans to grow a spine (the kind that binds book), they’ll need your help. That’s why Dobis and Anderson — the satirical personas of Upright Citizens Brigade regulars Mark Vigeant and Sam Reece — are seeking donations to fund a first edition printing of “Grass.” The authors will be reading selections from this alternately defeated and defiant tome, at the launch event for their Kickstarter campaign. The night of silly dad-themed jokes, poems and songs will feature special guests Dan Chamberlain, Anna Drezen, Doug Smith and Ike Knight Bardia Salimi.

Free. Fri., Jan. 29, 8:30 p.m. at The Drama Book Shop (250 W. 40th St., btw. Seventh & Eighth Aves.). Visit facebook.com/events/956706321070758.

THE FIFTH ANNUAL MISS TWIN PEAKS PAGEANT During separate visits to a dream world Red Room, FBI agent Dale Cooper is told, in backwards-speak, “That gum you like is going to come back in style” and “I’ll see you again in 25 years” — by, respectively, The Man from Another Place and the Homecoming Queen whose murder Cooper has been charged with solving. Visionary burlesque producer Francine “The Lucid Dream” knows these scenarios well, along with every other strange and wonderful twist associated with David Lynch and Mark Frost’s 1990-1991 surreal soap opera “Twin Peaks” — returning, gum-style, for new episodes in 2017. But why .com

Photo by Filip Wolak

The bodies are rock hard real — but the owls are not what they seem, at Jan. 30’s Fifth Annual Miss Twin Peaks Pageant.

wait? “The Pink Room: David Lynch Burlesque” has been keeping the “Peaks” flame burning since Feb. 2011, when its debut coincided with the anniversary of Laura Palmer’s death.

This installment has characters from the show vying for your attention and love, along with the title of Miss Twin Peaks (a nod to the show’s coveted pageant honor). Expect supremely odd and undeniably alluring talent competition displays from the likes of Audrey Horne, Shelly Johnson, Norma Jennings, The Log Lady, Josie Packard and others — as portrayed by “Lynch Burlesque” regulars Amelia Bareparts, Boo Boo Darlin’, Bunny Buxom, Foxy Vermouth, Minx Arcana, Montana, Satanica, Matt Knife and Schäffer the Darklord.

Sat., Jan. 30. Doors open at 11 p.m., show at 11:30. At Joe’s Pub at The Public (425 Lafayette St., at Astor Place). For tickets ($20), visit joespub.publictheater. org or call 212-539-8500. Artist info at francineburlesque.com.

FUNDRAISER: THEATER FOR THE NEW CITY APPRECIATION DAY Low-cost ticket prices year-round and a free roving street theater production every summer keep the provocative, political, experimental, and often wonderfully loopy work of Theater for the New City (TNC) accessible to the masses — but the essential East Village complex’s lower level theater is currently off-limits to the TNC’s handicapped staff, patrons, and performers.

Help correct this situation by heading into your kitchen, getting creative with butter and eggs and whatnot, then bringing your favorite goodies to TNC’s bake sale — whose proceeds, along with much-appreciated contributions of any amount, will kick off fundraising efforts

Photo by Ian Stroud

Song of my dad bod: Ralph (pictured) and Zeke launch a Kickstarter campaign for their Whitman-like book of poems, Jan. 29 at The Drama Book Shop.

to replace the theater’s broken handicapped lift (cost: $30,000).

Between browsing the bounty of sugary goodness, there will be a special presentation by playwright Jean-Claude van Italli, plus performances by the all-girl Japanese Taiko drumming/dance troupe COBU. Kitty Lunn, whose Infinity Dance Theater features artists with and without disabilities, will perform “In Time Like Air.” A biographical piece created for her by Peter Pucci, this duet for dancer and wheelchair is set during a snowstorm (referencing the accident that caused Lunn’s injury). Before and after the pros, sing the praises of TNC by belting out your favorite song, Karaoke-style.

Free (donations accepted via bake sale proceeds). Tues., Jan. 26 at 7 p.m.

At Theater for the New City (155 First Ave., btw. E. Ninth & E. 10th Sts.). For info, visit theaterforthenewcity.org or call 212-254-1109.

Photo by Dan Demetriad

Kitty Lunn performs at the Jan. 26 bake sale and karaoke bash, to benefit Theater for the New City’s fundraising goal: $30,000 for a new handicapped lift.

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Listen To Any Hollies

Anniversary of a hit prompts memories of swinging London

BY JIM MELLOAN This month marks the 50-year anniversary of the debut of The Hollies on the Billboard Top 40. “Look Through Any Window,” penned by the prolific young songwriter Graham Gouldman, later of 10cc, peaked at No. 32 on the January 22, 1966 chart. I was 10, and, as far as I recall, unaware of The Hollies. But when my family moved to London in November of 1966, the band’s glorious three-part harmonies and catchy melodies suffused the airwaves.

Thanks to the BBC TV show “Top of the Pops” and DJ Alan Freeman’s BBC radio show “Pick of the Pops,” I became a committed chart-tracker. And in the spring of 1967 I walked down to Harrods, near our house, went up to the fourth-floor record department, selected The Hollies’ “Carrie Anne” out of the giant slots that held each of the current hit singles in order of chart rank, and paid my 10 shillings — my first-ever record purchase. (Later that year, on that floor, Harrods debuted the ultra-groovy Carnaby-Streetesque “Way In” store-within-a-store.)

The core of the group, Allan Clarke and Graham Nash, were friends since age five in Manchester. Like the Beatles and many bands of the time, they got started as part of the skiffle craze of the late ’50s. They came up with their name in December of 1962 as both a tribute to Buddy Holly and a nod to the season. After an appearance at Liverpool’s famed Cavern Club in January of 1963, they got an audition for a record contract, which they won. Band member Vic Steele played guitar at the Cavern Club gig, but he didn’t want to be a professional musician — so Tony Hicks replaced Steele for the audition, then assumed his place in the group.

By the time “Look Through Any Window” was released, the band had had quite a few hits, both covers and originals, on the UK charts. Their follow-up to that one was a bit of a misfire: they recorded George Harrison’s “If I Needed Someone” and released it as a single, learning just days later that the Beatles were including the song on their “Rubber Soul” album. (But what a great version; I didn’t know about it until I started researching this article.) The single went to No. 20 on the UK chart, but wasn’t released here. The Hollies finally made their name in the US with “Bus Stop” — another Gouldman composi.com

hollies.co.uk

L to R: Allan Clarke, Bobby Elliott, Eric Haydock, Tony Hicks and Graham Nash.

tion, which peaked at No. 5 both there and here.

At the time we moved to London, “Stop Stop Stop” (a Clarke-Nash-Hicks tune notable for its banjo part) was climbing the charts. I don’t really remember that one from the time, but I definitely recall “On a Carousel,” by the same three, from February of ’67.

It was “Carrie Anne” that I found irresistible, however. That one came with springtime lunch hours in Regent’s Park, near where I was enrolled at the American School in London (ASL). Coming close after the Beatles’ “Penny Lane,” both sunny and infectious songs epitomized the glory that was Swinging London in 1967. My mom purchased “Penny Lane/ Strawberry Fields Forever,” and I decided it was my duty as a budding music consumer to buy “Carrie Anne” on my own.

“Carrie Anne” was the first commercial song ever to incorporate steel drums. I recall one clueless reviewer at the time praising The Hollies for their innovative use of a “toy piano.” In 1995 Nash revealed that the song was actually inspired by Marianne Faithfull, who Nash had a crush on, but who was having an affair with the married Clarke at the time.

In the fall of ’67 The Hollies released “King Midas in Reverse,” a lush, ambitious song written solely by Nash. I have a memory of hearing that one, or thinking about it, in the lunchroom at ASL, amidst the junior high bustle and steaming cups of hot soup in yellow plastic cups served by Cockney lunch ladies.

I don’t know if I reflected upon the fact that the lyrics mirrored my own plummet-

ing social status — but they did. This one only went to No. 18, a relative disappointment, and that was the beginning of the end of Nash’s time with The Hollies.

After that one, he and Clarke wrote “Jennifer Eccles,” a catchy piece of fluff

that returned The Hollies to the UK Top 10. By now, though, Nash had broader ambitions. He had written “Marrakesh Express,” but he’s said that The Hollies didn’t seem very interested in working on it. He had been spending more time in the US, and had met David Crosby and Stephen Stills, and so decamped to form Crosby, Stills & Nash and move on to the next part of his career.

The Hollies had a big hit in 1969 with “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother,” a ballad that was a departure from their poppy harmonies, and their other notable successes in the ’70s were the rocker “Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress” and “The Air That I Breathe.” It was their version of Springsteen’s “4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy),” retitled as just “Sandy,” that got me working on performing that one around 10 years ago.

Clarke retired in 2000, but Tony Hicks is still with the band, and they will commence touring the UK and Europe in March.

Happy anniversary, boys.

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January 21 - 27, 2016

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