Chelsea Now

YOUR WEEKLY COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER SERVING CHELSEA, HUDSON YARDS & HELL’S KITCHEN

‘Vessel’ Will Anchor Hudson Yards Public Square

Courtesy Fencers Club

Left: Each summer, starting in July, the Fencers Club has a day camp for beginners ages six to 15.

Courtesy Forbes Massie-Heatherwick Studio

A view of the public square and gardens, looking south from W. 33rd St.

BY ALEX ELLEFSON The architects and overseers of Hudson Yards have never been reluctant to tout the scale, design, and long-term impact of their ambitious project. However, plans for the new neighborhood’s monument and public space, unveiled at a lavish Sept. 14 ceremony, further cemented developer Stephen Ross’ vision of creating an attraction to stand tall alongside other iconic Manhattan destinations.

VESSEL continued on p. 2

TREE STEWARDSHIP STALWARTS

Chelsea’s tree bed benefactors are looking for a few good volunteers. See page 12.

Photo by Scott McDermott

Right: Joey Garcia, an instructor at Chelsea Piers, at an adult class with three students.

TUCK, ROLL, PARRY, LUNGE, LEARN Rio Olympics Spur Armchair Athletes to Action

BY DUSICA SUE MALESEVIC Those who watch sometimes become those who do, by seeking out those who teach.

Inspired by the grace and precision of gymnast Simone Biles and fencer Ibtihaj Muhammad during the Rio Olympics, children and adults are flocking to a pair of Chelsea institutions for classes and lessons.

At the Fencers Club (229 W. 28th St., btw. Seventh & Eighth Aves.), interest in the sport has risen, as there is typically a membership bump after the Olympics, said Adam Schafer, program director at the club since 2011.

Indeed, Schafer himself was spurred by the Olympics to start fencing. He was living in Idaho and remembers watching the 2004 Athens Olympics, he explained in a phone interview.

“It was a sport I had never seen before. Who doesn’t want to play with swords?” he asked. “I found a way to do that.”

© CHELSEA NOW 2016 | NYC COMMUNITY MEDIA, LLC, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Schafer started a fencing group at his school, studied the sport in Spain and has been fencing now for more than 10 years, he said.

The not-for-profit Fencers Club is the oldest continuing fencing organization in the city, founded in 1883. Since 1904, according to Schafer, the club has had at least one fencer compete in each Olympics.

This year, two club members — Ibtihaj Muhammad and Miles Chamley-Watson — competed in Rio, said Schafer.

Muhammad won a bronze in women’s sabre and ChamleyWatson won a bronze in men’s foil. Three of the club’s coaches — Buckie Leach, Simon Gershon, and Akhnaten SpencerEl — also went to the Rio for the games.

Doug Tableman, manager of the Fencers Club, said a lot LEARN continued on p. 3 VOLUME 08, ISSUE 37 | SEPTEMBER 15 - 21, 2016

Here for you

Tannenbaum-Like Hudson Yards Landmark to Rival Rockefeller Center Tree

treating members like people, not numbers

Photo by Alex Ellefson

L to R: CNN anchor Anderson Cooper, Related Companies Chairman Stephen Ross, designer Thomas Heatherwick, and landscape architect Thomas Woltz.

VESSEL continued from p. 1

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September 15 - 21, 2016

Dubbed the Vessel, the 150-foot-high steel monument — made of latticed staircases and landings — will form the centerpiece of a five-acre public square in the sprawling development.

The structure will allow people to walk more than a mile through the twisting vortex of steps that look out onto lush gardens covering the area.

Ross said at the ceremony he wanted the monument to inspire the same wonder as the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree, but offer the experience yearround.

“I wanted to create a 365-day Christmas tree,” he explained. “We wanted something people could relate to and would be participatory, something that would be very exciting and would draw people here time-after-time.”

Ross showcased the design at the outdoor event, hosted by CNN’s Anderson Cooper, that also included a speech by Mayor Bill de Blasio as well as a discussion with designer Thomas Heatherwick, who created the concept for the monument, and landscape architect Thomas Woltz, who crafted the public square and gardens.

Hundreds of people — including commissioners of the FDNY and NYPD, the public advocate, state and city legislators, as well as agency leaders — attended the event, which had the

vibe of a Fashion Week soiree. Velvet ropes ringed the dapper guests in the seating area while a cavalry of photographers pursued Ross and de Blasio as they surveyed the site.

“This will be one of the great public squares in New York City. And it’s going to be a place where people want to be just to feel the energy of what’s happening,” said de Blasio. “Hudson Yards is reenergizing a section of our city that not long a go was disconnected from the vast majority of us. Something is happening here that is opening up vast potential and it’s exciting to see just how far we can go.”

Hudson Yards is built over a transportation hub used to store commuter trains. Besides the challenge of constructing the collection of sky-scratching towers over the site, the train activity below makes it difficult to support the plants and trees in the plaza.

To make sure soil is cool enough for plant life to flourish, the kinds of fans used in jet engines will blast heat from the rail yard away from the public square.

The design also calls for a sophisticated cooling and irrigation system to support the 28,000 plants and more than 200 trees — all native to New York — planned for the site. The plaza will also have a 200-foot-long fountain VESSELS continued on p. 11 .com

in a city rich in shades, here is a COLOR that includes all...

in in a city rich here in shades, here isthat a COLOR that includes all... in a city rich shades, is a COLOR includes all...

Courtesy Fencers Club

A youth fencer practices her lunge at Fencers Club.

Watch Global, Train Local:

Olympics Fuel Fencing, Gymnastics Interest LEARN continued from p. 1

more people have been calling about classes and signing up. It is partly due to the time of the year, but also because people have just watched the games, he said.

“Anecdotally, there is absolutely an Olympic effect,” Tableman said in a phone interview.

The Fencers Club offers an introductory package for $240, which entails three private lessons with a master coach, he said. The lessons give people a taste of the sport, Tableman said, and they can then decided whether they want to sign up for a membership.

Schafer said that fencing is a rapidly growing sport, and with some participants as young as five and members as old as 88, it can be a lifelong pursuit.

At the Field House at Chelsea Piers, both adult and youth programs get a big increase in attendance after the Olympics, said Josh Diorio, assistant director of gymnastics at Chelsea Piers.

The gymnastics program at the complex at 62 Chelsea Piers includes a summer camp, a class called Little Athletes for those six months to five years old, youth classes for those five to 16, private lessons, and teen parkour for those LEARN continued on p. 14

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Photo by Scott McDermott

Hector Salazar, an instructor at Chelsea Piers, helps a student flip backwards. .com

September 15 - 21, 2016

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LPC Ruling is Latest Clash in Effort to Preserve Chelsea’s Character

BY SEAN EGAN This week, the Landmarks Preservation Commissions (LPC) approved plans for construction on 334 W. 20th St. (btw. Eighth & Ninth Aves.), which would build the rear of the house out, and, according to critics, detrimentally affect the character of the block and encroach on green space. These opponents came out in full force at the Tues., Sept. 13 LPC hearing where the decision was made — a dozen strong, and clad in green shirts that served to silently air their grievances.

The building, an 1836 Greek Revival Photos by Sean Egan style row house, sits within the Chelsea At Sept.

7’s CB4 meeting, opponents to the 334 W. 20th St. project Historic District, making any changes showed off their numbers by standing strong in green T-shirts. subject to LPC approval. At the project’s initial Aug. 2 LPC hearing, the applicant, Sterling Equities, presented from the short notice they were given team to come back at a later date with plans that would include a large roofabout the project, its size, the rooftop plans incorporating their feedback. top addition and bulkhead, as well as addition’s visibility from the street, and The issue was raised again at the a significant rear yard extension. The the way it would affect neighbors’ conSept. 7 Community Board 4 (CB4) full hearing found a few block residents nected corridor of lawn space. board meeting, where the board was come out in opposition — many of LPC Chair Meenakshi Srinivasan scheduled to vote on a letter to the LPC whom populated the Sept. 13 hearing agreed, and requested that the roof concerning revised plans for the house.

— including Carol Ott, the president addition be scrapped altogether and that An increased number of advocates parof the 300 West 20th Street Block the third floor be set back to the historic ticipated in the public comments sesAssociation, and Rev. Stephen Harding line/openings to ensure the building’s sion, to express that even the altered from the neighboring St. Peter’s T:4.313” legibility. The LPC decided not to take plans — which ditched the rooftop addiEpiscopal Church. Their ire stemmed action at that time, asking the Sterling tion and scaled back the rear — were inappropriate. Upset residents (again, donning lime-green T-shirts) testified to how the project would alter the block’s backyard “donut” area of green space and their views of landmarks like St. Peter’s, and how it would set a bad precedent, allowing other houses in the area to whittle away the character of the block.

Once more, Ott stood in opposition, claiming “the plans transformed a sweet…property into a behemoth.”

Many others took to the podium to advocate for the preservation of the “magical space” and “little gem” that is the backyard area, which represents some alltoo-rare green space in Chelsea. Others

THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO IF YOU THINK YOU SMELL A GAS LEAK IS NOTHING.

A view of the façade of 334 W. 20th St. (three-story building in center).

called the project “overpowering” on the “prettiest block in New York City.”

All such comments drew rapturous applause from the crowd.

Sterling’s architect, Andre Tchelistcheff, spoke, stating that the construction reflected in the new plans was nowhere near as radical as those assembled (who referred to the building as a “mini-mansion”) believed it to be.

He also highlighted the historic façade restoration work his client planned on doing, predicting that when the project was done, “I know the block would be proud to have us as a neighbor.”

During a post-meeting phone interview, project reps told Chelsea Now that they were only seeking to add 1,176 sq. ft. to a 4,700 sq. ft. property — a far more modest, 25% increase in size compared to the doubling neighbors claimed would take place.

At the end of the meeting, CB4 member Lee Compton noted that while the community was upset, the updated plans — particularly the 14-foot buildout of the first two floors — were “as of

T:5.688”

ADDITION continued on p. 5

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September 15 - 21, 2016

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Courtesy Landmarks Preservation Commission

A view of the revised plans for 334 W. 20th St. (original proposal outlined in red). The third floor extension pictured will not be included in construction going forward, though the controversy-sparking first and second floor extension will remain.

ADDITION continued from p. 4

right,” meaning that they complied with applicable zoning regulations for the area and were not visible from public thoroughfare, and thus were not an LPC concern. Because of this (and CB4’s purely advisory role in these matters), Compton expressed doubts that the community would get its way, despite the board voting to send a “deny unless” letter, asking the LPC to look again into the visibility of the rear extension, and take into consideration the block’s concerns.

Compton’s pessimistic prediction was proven right at the project’s second hearing, as the revised plans were quickly approved.

“This is a very important little piece of the historic district,” Srinivasan said, noting that the new plans took great steps forward in nixing the rooftop entirely, and were “almost there, but not quite there.” The lone issue she and the rest of the commissioners took issue with was the extension on the third floor — which, unlike the lower two floors would push seven feet out (about 171 sq. ft.), and would still be visible from the street.

While the size was reduced from initial plans, they did not abide by the LPC’s earlier request to fully restore the floor to its existing, historic line. While Tchelistcheff argued that an extension of that size was not unprecedented in the area, Srinivasan maintained that the building’s location on the end of the row of houses made the legibility of the historic line of the building crucial to its integrity.

Ultimately, the LPC voted to approve the project’s certificate of appropriateness, with modifications indicating the third floor would not include an extension. It represents the latest in a line of community struggles with the LPC in trying to preserve Chelsea’s character — including, most recently, the approval of plans to effectively demolish all but the façade of 404 W. 20th St., widely acknowledged as the oldest dwelling within the Chelsea Historic District.

“What happens if it’s not just two houses, but eight houses?” lifelong Chelsea resident Sarah Edwards pressed at the CB4 meeting, articulating the crowd’s concerns to applause. “Then there would be nothing left of these historic houses.”

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September 15 - 21, 2016

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For Our Sons And Daughters:

BY EILEEN STUKANE My daughter walked through the door after what I had assumed was an uneventful day in third grade, but her face was tear-streaked. “I’m the only one in my class who can’t become President if I want to, the only one!” she said in a voice that contained a combination of sorrow and surprise.

“I’m an American but the teacher said it’s because I wasn’t born here.” This came as a surprise to me, too. I believed that even though my daughter was adopted in Lithuania — because she was the full-fledged child of parents born in the USA, and an American citizen being raised in New York City (who probably felt more patriotic than I), and since she knew she could have had a very different life — she could run for President. I thought the teacher must have been mistaken, but I was wrong. The year was 2002.

Fast forward 11 years later to January 2013 when 8-year-old Alena Mulhern of Massachusetts hears President Barack Obama, in his Second Inaugural Address, say:

We are true to our creed when a little girl born into the bleakest poverty knows that she has the same chance to succeed as anybody else, because she is an American; she is free, and she is equal, not just in the eyes of God but also in our own.

Alena tells her mother, attorney Barbara Caparell, that she wants to be President of the United States, but her mother has to explain the barrier to her daughter’s dream. Alena was adopted as a 10-month-old baby in China, and while the Child Citizenship Act (CCA) of 2000 automatically granted her United States citizenship as the daughter of two American citizens, it did not help her overcome Article II, Section 1 of the US Constitution that states: “No person except a natural born Citizen…” is eligible to serve as President of the United States.

From 1999 to 2015, across the country 261,728 internationally adopted children became our sons and daughters — 17,590 of which were in

the state of New York. Children with brains and talents to offer. “I tell my kids, as I’m sure you tell yours, ‘You can be anything you want to be when you grow up,’ ” Caparell said. “I never thought either of them [Alena has an older sister who was also adopted in China] would come to me and say that they wanted to be President of the United States, but when Alena said that, I had to say, ‘That’s the only thing you can’t be,’ and I told her about the law, that you have to be born on this soil. She said, ‘That’s not fair. I want to change the law.’ ” From this moment sprang a new equal rights campaign that has found the now 11-year-old Alena Mulhern interviewed by Jenna Bush on the Today show, profiled in People Magazine, and pursued for media interviews.

Internationally adopted children are raised as the American sons and daughters of American parents, but they are denied the right to run for, or become, President of the United States. Alena is the hopeful face of this equal rights issue and lawmakers are paying attention.

Photo by Barbara Caparell

Alena Mulhern holding a model of the White House, her dreamed-of future residence.

Equal rights for internationally adopted children, whose childhoods include Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, biking and soccer just like their peers born here, may be able to come about without any changes to the US Constitution at all.

PRESIDENT continued on p. 7

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September 15 - 21, 2016

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A New Frontier For Equal Rights

Photo by Linda Sternfelt

The Mulhern Family, L to R: Alena Mulhern, Barbara Caparell, and Arian Mulhern (left).

PRESIDENT continued from p. 6

REVISITING THE CHILD CITIZENSHIP ACT OF 2000 When first learning that she could not run for president like her classmates, Alena did not accept the status quo as

my daughter and I had. Instead, she “Who is a natural born citizen is sent a letter to President Obama with determined by Congress, by statute, and a petition of 120 signatures, requesting statutes can be changed,” Cutler said. that the law be changed. A more-or-less Alena Mulhern, at age 10, then testified form response arrived from the White before the Massachusetts Legislature in House, but Alena remained committed. the State House as she made her case Honesty and leadership inspire her. Her for supporting the resolution. Her localfavorite president is Abraham Lincoln. ly televised testimony spread to major “I’m also inspired by my mom, who is television networks and was broadcast outgoing, active, honest, and a great nationally. The exposure has made hers communicator,” she said. “When my a sought-after voice for change, on equal dad died [Alena was 18 months old], my rights for internationally adopted chilmom started a nonprofit organization dren. In true American fashion, she has [Jim Mulhern Forever Families Fund; stimulated awareness of a social inequity. jimmulhern.org] to help adopted famMeanwhile, Cutler’s resolution — curilies.” By making herself heard locally, rently approved by committee and awaitAlena’s determination was noticed. ing a vote by both houses of the state legIn 2015 a relative, Massachusetts islature — would not change federal law, State Representative Josh Cutler, pro- but if the bill passes and is approved, posed a resolution to the state legisla- “It’s a statement that the Commonwealth ture entitled, “Resolutions Equality For of Massachusetts believes this should be America’s Adopted Children,” which changed, a statement to our federal repwould call on Congress to amend the resentatives to pursue that,” Cutler said.

CCA to allow internationally adopted “If all 50 states were to pass something US citizens to be considered “natural similar that would be a powerful voice born” and eligible to run for President.T:8.75”that citizens want a change.”

No change to the US Constitution would “Now is the time to revisit the Act. be required.

Equal rights are emerging in positive

Photo by Barbara Caparell

Alena Mulhern’s future run for the Presidency.

ways,” says Bill Delahunt, former US Representative for Massachusetts’ 10th congressional district, and author of the Child Citizenship Act of 2000. In regards to getting the CCA passed in the first place, he said, “It was a long struggle but in the end we secured passage.”

After its approval, the Act went into effect in February 2001, and according PRESIDENT continued on p. 8

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September 15 - 21, 2016

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POLICE BLOTTER SEXUAL ABUSE: Assistance needed The NYPD is asking the public’s assistance in identifying an individual connected with a sex abuse incident that occurred on Sun., Sept. 11. At about 1:35am, a 22-year-old woman, walking near E. 39th St. & Lexington Ave., approached the individual looking for directions to Penn Station. The man (pictured, right) told her to follow him, and began to mislead her, . Around the intersection of W. 15th St. & Fifth Ave., the man pushed the woman into a double phone booth, sexually abused her, and then fled in an unknown direction. The woman, not injured, was taken to Bellevue Hospital as a precaution. Police ask anyone with information to reach out to the Crime Stoppers hotline at 800-577-TIPS or nypdcrimestoppers.com.

PETIT LARCENY: License lifter drives away

CRIMINAL POSSESSION OF A FORGED INSTRUMENT: Mah wiiiife!

At about 11:30pm on Thurs., Sept. 8, an officer pulled over a BMW driver at the northeast corner of West & W. 20th Sts. Upon inspection, the officer found that the 49-year-old Manhattan man at the wheel was in possession of a forged 30-day Pennsylvania In-Transit plate (used to get recently purchased PA cars over state lines), as well as a gravity knife. “My wife bought the car,” he offered to the officer as a halfhearted explanation, throwing his spouse under the bus (while still not providing an excuse for his knife). Hopefully his wife both actually exists and has some bail money left over after her car purchase, as the man was arrested for his counterfeit credentials.

DWI: Wasted whizz-kid A sense of stubbornness was not enough to absolve a drunk driver caught point blank with his actual pants

PRESIDENT continued from p. 7

to Delahunt, the issue of running for president was never considered the first time around, which is why he believes right now is the time to do that.

TAKING IN ALL ANGLES Over the years, the number of internationally adopted children in the United States has fallen. According to the Bureau of Consular Affairs at the US Department of State, after a high of 22,989 adoptions in 2004, 2015 found only 5,647 children were adopted from other countries. Due to changing policies and politics in foreign nations, the number of infants and toddlers available for international adoption is only a fraction of what it used to be. Countries like China, Russia, Guatemala, and Ukraine are not permitting international adop-

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September 15 - 21, 2016

down (not to mention his, uh, member, in his hand).

At around 11:15pm on Thurs., Sept. 8, a police officer witnessed a man driving a 2011 Mazda pull into a no parking zone the 500 block of W. 42nd St. (btw. 10th & 11th Aves.). The man exited the vehicle, leaving the keys in the ignition and the engine running, and began to urinate behind the wheel of his car. When the officer approached the uneasy-on-his-feet individual and asked him what he was doing, he slurred, “I’m not doing anything,” as the strong odor of alcohol wafted from his person. The officer, unsurprisingly, was not convinced. The 30-year-old Queens man, however, refused to blow a breath test at the scene, nor at the Seventh Precinct IDTU room, where he was nonetheless taken after being arrested.

A 66-year-old Brooklyn man involved in an auto accident had the other party take his information — exceedingly literally, and to parts unknown. After a vehicular collision, the Brooklynite and his accidental companion seemed to make an amicable agreement to repair both vehicles. Things got complicated, however, when the two arrived at the auto repair shop (528 W. 39th St., btw. 10th & 11th Aves.) at around 2pm on Thurs., Sept.

8, and stared arguing. Apparently the disagreement was intense enough to cause the other party to take, and then drive off with the man’s driver’s license.

HARASSMENT: DM dummy This week, one excessively invasive gentleman slid straight on through a woman’s DMs onto the radar of law enforcement — potentially landing him in some IRL trouble. After exchanging Instagram information with the suspect, a 26-year-old woman told police that the man tried to contact her multiple times through the photo-sharing app, sending her harassing messages

tions as they once did, and when children are available for adoption, they are often older or special needs children.

In 2015, children were predominantly adopted in the 5-to-12-year-old age group. Barely any babies under one-yearold — which used to be a large group of adoptees — were available for adoption.

“The notion of adoption from overseas has changed radically and is still changing,” said Adam Pertman, President, National Center on Adoption and Permanency (nationalcenteronadoptionandpermanency.net) and author of Adoption Nation, “The kids being adopted from other countries today are overwhelmingly older, in sibling groups, and have special needs.” He went on to say, “If we get farther down the road with rights, including presidency, the conversation is going to look different, feel different to people. I’m not saying we shouldn’t do it, but I’m trying to look at

Courtesy DCPI

The suspect involved in the sexual abuse case, described as male, with a light complexion and dark hair, last seen wearing blue jeans, a red American Eagle shirt, and Converse sneakers.

that she never responded to. Unhappy with this radio silence, on Thurs., Sept. 8, the man called the woman’s modeling agency — claiming to be a rapper — and said he needed the object of his unwanted attention for a shoot. When, at around 5:30pm, she showed up at the location (Bryant Park, at the northwest corner of 10th Ave. & W. 42nd St.) and saw that it was, in fact, the thirsty thug that’d been bothering her, she immediately left. Though no threats were made, this escalation caused the woman to fear for her safety, and she filed a police report about the incident the next day.

this realistically. Maybe it’s all the more reason to do it.”

Pertman emphasized that when a child is adopted, “we consider that child to be equal to, and the same time as legally, ethically, as if you gave birth to that child. Well if you mean it, then you have to mean it, and if it’s complicated then you deal with the complications and this is one area of complication.” This reporter contacted the offices of US Senators Kirsten Gillibrand (NY), Ed Markey (MA), and John McCain(AZ) for their thoughts on changes to the CCA. Not one of them offered a response.

As Delahunt said, “Change as discovered is often slow and painstaking. This is the beginning of a lengthy process.”

Alena Mulhern remains undeterred.

Responding to a question about what she would like to say to President Obama, she answered: “Since I wrote my first letter and petition to you in 2013, my quest

—SEAN EGAN

Photo by David Puchkoff

When this reporter’s internationally adopted daughter became a citizen we celebrated, but her equal rights would be less than her peers.

to change the law for me and adopted kids like me has gotten so much positive attention. I am hoping that my federal legislators in Massachusetts and other states will soon file a bill in Congress so that I may someday run for president.

Thank you so much for giving me that hope, and someday it would mean a lot to me if you would stand beside me in this quest to change the law.” .com

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September 15 - 21, 2016

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September 15 - 21, 2016

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Courtesy VisualHouse-NelsonByrdWoltz

A view of the Pavilion Grove.

VESSEL continued from p. 2

inspired by a river that flowed through the area 400 years ago.

“It’s a landscape that pushes the boundaries of what landscape architecture might be,” said Woltz. “Imagine that people can come and enjoy this site, the plaza and garden, without realizing 30 trains are moving beneath you.”

When it’s complete, the plaza’s tree groves and gardens will connect the High Line to the Hudson Park and Boulevard — creating the longest path of open spaces created in Manhattan since Central Park.

To come up with the anchor for the new plaza, Heatherwick said he turned to Indian stepwells, stone staircases that descend into the earth through an inverse pyramid. His concept was to turn that idea inside-out.

However, Heatherwick said he also drew on personal experience to find inspiration for the design — recalling a time when he plucked an old wooden flight of stairs from a refuse bin on his college campus.

“If we could get a mile of public space, and in a way stitch it all together with 250 flights of stairs and make a project out of it, it would be like a viewing gallery for all the other places around,” he said.

His project weaves together 154 flights of stairs, 80 landings, and nearly 2,500 steps to create an almost walkable basket in the heart of the plaza. The project is currently being built in Italy, Heatherwick said, and is expected to be completed in two years.

Cooper, whose employer, CNN, plans to move into 30 Hudson Yards, said: “I can’t wait to run up the Vessel every morning before I go to work.”

Ross’ Related Companies and Oxford Properties are developing Hudson Yards — the largest private real estate development in the United States. When completed the project will take up more than 17 million .com

Courtesy of Forbes Massie-Heatherwick Studio

An upper level view, from inside the Vessel.

square feet of commercial and residential space, including a 750-seat school, more than 100 shops and a luxury hotel. Ten Hudson Yards opened this year — and the nearby 15 Hudson Yards started selling its condos this week. The tower also began offering 120 affordable apartments, which are available through a lottery.

During his speech, de Blasio praised Ross for making the development a

Courtesy Forbes Massie-Heatherwick Studio

An interior view of the Vessel.

welcoming place for all New Yorkers.

“I’ve spoken to Steve many times and I know that he understands how important inclusion is — how import-

ant it is to have something that everyone can feel a part of. That it would only work if it was a public space meant for everyone,” de Blasio said.

Courtesy Related-Oxford

Facing south, a view of 15 Hudson Yards and the Shed, a cultural facility.

September 15 - 21, 2016

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COMMUNITY ACTIVITIES: THE WALK, SHOP, summer sweet spot, when the tenants of London Terrace return, Brigadoonlike, to turn the Street Fair from a cookie-cutter franchise concept to a genuine neighborhood gathering. Its vendor tables are populated, in large part, by residents of the event’s namesake W. 24 St. residential complex — guaranteeing a voluminous supply of good stuff drawn from decades worth of collecting (antiques, art, housewares, books, vintage photos, and one-of-a-kind handmade crafts).

A few carefully chosen food vendors will be on hand as well, alongside local charities and elected officials who come bearing information to disseminate, and ears to be bended by concerned constituents.

Sat., Sept. 24, 10am–5pm on W. 24th St. (btw. Ninth & 10th Aves.).

For more info, visit LTTA.info.

CHELSEA STREET TREE STEWARDSHIP

Courtesy Flatiron/23rd Street Partnership

Sept. 18, a walking tour led by historian Miriam Berman sheds light on the Flatiron Building and its namesake district.

BY SCOTT STIFFLER

FLATIRON BUILDING WALKING TOUR

Courtesy LTTA

London Terrace residents show the city the proper way to conduct a street fair worth flocking to, Sept. 24 on W. 24th St.

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September 15 - 21, 2016

It’s much more than the spitting image of a retired Monopoly piece, or a selfie waiting to happen. Discover little-known facts about the city’s most charismatic skyscraper — when the Flatiron/23rd Street Partnership celebrates the 50th anniversary of the landmarking of the Flatiron Building, with a special version of their weekly walking tour. Guided by native New Yorker and historian Miriam Berman (author of “Madison Square: The Park and Its Celebrated Landmarks”), you’ll first circle around the iconic building, then tour the Flatiron district while learning how the 22-story,

1902-built structure influenced the evolution of a neighborhood.

Free; no advance registration required. Sun., Sept. 18. At 11am, meet at the southwest corner of Madison Square Park (23rd St. & Broadway, in front of the William Seward statue). Same time, day, place for weekly 90-minute walking tours. Visit flatirondistrict.nyc/free-walking-tour.

THE 24TH ANNUAL LONDON TERRACE STREET FAIR Having suffered through a long season’s worth of congested, closed-off city blocks overflowing with underwhelming fare such as tube socks, sunglasses, overcooked sausages and sugar-shock funnel cakes, what a relief it is to arrive at that annual late

The tall trees that create a soothing canopy effect on West Chelsea’s side streets didn’t get there by accident.

Brief history lesson: Back in 1960, when the city didn’t give a fig about filling the concrete jungle with any form of flora, the founders of the 300 West 23rd, 22nd, 21st Streets Block Association (initially known as the West 22nd Street Planting Committee) took it upon themselves to purchase, plant, and prune trees all along their blocks. Flash-forward to the present day, and the thick-trunked progeny of that effort is alive and thriving, but only as a result of volunteers committed to vigilant upkeep. That means aerating tree beds and spreading compost — which is where you come in. On Sept. 24, The NYC Compost Project is partnering with the Chelsea Garden Club and the 300 West 23rd, 22nd, and 21st Streets Block Association to revitalize tree beds along W. 21st & W. 22nd Sts., between Eighth & Ninth Aves. Even if the air is crisp (it’ll be two days into the fall by then), you’re pretty much guaranteed to break a sweat; so along with your work ethic, bring along a water bottle — and, for the fashion-conscious, rugged clothes that don’t clash with dirt.

Sat., Sept. 24, 10am–1pm Sign up at PS 11 (320 W. 21st St., btw. Eighth & Ninth Ave.). Visit nyc.gov/compostproject. .com

WATCH, PLANT, EAT & EXPERIMENT EDITION SUBMERGE NYC MARINE SCIENCE FESTIVAL Immerse yourself in the lore of local marine life, during this all-day festival designed to raise awareness of our coastal waters. Hudson River Park’s Pier 26 is the site of multiple family-friendly programs and activities coordinated by the New York Hall of Science. Research stations and a science stage offer handson activities, presentations, experiments, and wildlife performances; a tour of Stony Brook University’s R/V Seawolf research vessel reveals how they conduct oceanographic sampling and sturgeon tagging; Pier 26’s Downtown Boathouse staff takes you through the history of kayaks, then puts you in one to paddle the Hudson River; scuba dive demos have frogmen (and frogwomen) plunging into the Hudson to collect river specimens; and surf/turf food truck options from the likes of Gorilla Cheese, Urban Lobster Shack and Yaki Taco ensure your energy level doesn’t ebb and flow like the tide.

Free. Sat., Sept, 24, 11am–4pm at Pier 26 in Hudson River Park (at N. Moore St.). Visit hudsonriverpark.org/special-events/view/ events-Submerge and nysci.org.

THE FARM FRESH FESTIVAL FOR KIDS Sandra Velez — a Chelsea native and co-founder of the non-GMO snack company Fresh Kids — is the director of this first-ever festival, whose mission is to bring “a wholesome and magical farm experience” to the South Street Seaport. Games and crafts help kids form healthy eating habits, by learning about the farm-to-table process.

Sat., Sept. 17, 12–4pm, on Fulton & Front Sts. The event is free, but requires registration via a visit to farmfreshfestival.org.

A CONCERT OF HOPE Top-notch vocalists lend their names, time, and talent to this concert, 50% of whose proceeds will benefit NYC homeless services organizations. The roster of performers includes Grammy-nominated Metropolitan Opera veteran and .com

Courtesy Hudson River Park Trust

Sept. 24’s “Submerge” marine science event explores the big tent that is the Hudson River ecosystem.

Photo via lizcallaway.com

Dynamic singer and stage presence Liz Callaway lends her voice to Sept.

24’s Concert of Hope, to benefit local homeless services organizations.

mezzo-soprano Frederica von Stade; Tony nominee, Emmy Awardwinning actress, and go-to singer of Sondheim, Liz Callaway; tenor Daniel (the “Singing Cop”) Rodriguez, The Highland Divas, and the Sing The World Choir, combined from its American & Australian membership.

The evening’s centerpiece, “Street Requiem,” is a contemporary choral work written “to reflect the multicultural and multi-faith traditions of modern city living” and meant to honor the memory of those who have died while living on the street.

Sat., Sept. 24, 8pm, at Carnegie Hall (881 Seventh Ave., btw. W. 56th & W. 57th Sts.). For more info, visit streetrequiem.teamapp. com. For tickets ($28– $48), visit

Photo by Pat Cooke

It’s not easy being green, but the effort has its rewards: Chelsea tree beds get revitalized on the morning of Sept. 24.

Courtesy Fresh Kids

Facts and fun to be found on Fulton and Front Sts., at Sept. 17’s Farm Fresh Festival for Kids.

carnegiehall.org (student/senior discounts available at the box office).

For info on organizations to benefit from ticket sales: aliforneycenter.

org, holyapostlesoupkitchen.org, midnightrun.org, picturethehomeless.org, safehorizon.org, and westendres.org.

September 15 - 21, 2016

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Photo by Scott McDermott

Randy Dorleans works with a student at an adult class at Chelsea Piers.

LEARN continued from p. 3

12 and up.

Summer camp this year got a bump, Diorio said, as parents and children would watch the USA gymnastic team compete, and then call to enroll in camp for the next week.

“They see it on TV and then they want to sign up right then,” Diorio explained in a phone interview.

Team USA, which won gold, included Simone Biles, Aly Raisman, Gabby Douglas, Laurie Hernandez and Madison Kocian. The team’s nickname is the “Final Five.”

Gymnastics classes for children are already popular, but enrollment is going at a faster pace than it traditionally does, said Erica Bates, vice president of corporate communications for Chelsea Piers Management in an email.

Diorio said the Olympics helps all Chelsea Piers’ gymnastics programs, including fall classes, and those for adults. According to Bates, adult attendance has doubled and, for some classes, tripled.

Courtesy Fencers Club

Nicole Ross, a 2012 Olympian, takes a lesson from her coach Simon Gershon.

Chelsea Piers has 90-minute classes for adults, and it is the largest adult program in the country, according to Diorio. Performers — actors, dancers and singers — often come to the complex to learn a skill for a show. For example, Diorio explained, a performer wanted to learn how to tumble for the magic carpet ride scene in “Aladdin.”

For adults who competed in the past, or took gymnastic lessons growing up, watching the games reminds them how much they miss the sport, said Diorio. So not only does the Olympics bring in novices, he said, it inspires adults with some experience, who might have only been taking one class, to step it up to two or three.

“It motivates them to try harder and to do it,” Diorio said.

Chelsea Piers is also the only gym in Manhattan that has a girls and boys competitive team, according to Diorio.

All instructors are certified through USA Gymnastics, Diorio said, and the facility boats 23,000 square feet of gymnastics equipment. Most of the coaches have competed at some level, he explained. Diorio, whose interest in the sport started when he was eight, has been a coach at Chelsea Piers since 2013 and has been assistant director for a year and a half.

The program is for all different levels

and ages, with enrollment beginning as early as one year of age, and Diorio said he has given private lessons for those in their fifties.

He added, “They all get something out of it.”

The Olympics, Diorio said, is “definitely our Super Bowl, for sure.”

For more information about Chelsea Pier’s gymnastics programs and Fencers Club, visit chelseapiers.com/fh/gymnastics/youth-gymnastics and fencersclub.org.

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New Venue Brings Vistas and Vino to Pier 26

BY ALEX ELLEFSON City Vineyard, the long-awaited wine-centric restaurant at Pier 26, is now open for business on the Hudson, offering 15 wines on tap, as well as outdoor seating on the terrace and roof from which to soak in expansive waterfront and city views.

The new venue is a spinoff of Michael Dorf’s City Winery in Tribeca, and has been hotly anticipated since the Hudson River Park Trust tapped the vino impresario to create the high-end, glass-walled restaurant at Pier 26 more than a year ago.

“City Vineyard will provide people the opportunity to feel like they escaped the city without having to leave the Tribeca area,” Dorf said in a statement. “Our goal is to focus on the food, wine, and beverage program to give people a unique dining experience and a place for them to truly unwind.”

The 1,150-square-foot venue, with vines crawling up to the rooftop seating area atop a glass-encased indoor restaurant, uses every opportunity to expose guests to the shimmering city lights. The roof and terrace offer seating for 200 people, while the indoor space — scheduled to open Sept. 16 — will accommodate 75 guests.

Madelyn Wils, president and CEO of Hudson River Park Trust, said the new waterfront restaurant will round out visitors’ experience at the pier.

“It completes the day,” said Wils.

“People can come to enjoy the different activities and then settle down for lunch or dinner and a glass of wine.”

The new restaurant is the latest puzzle piece to snap into place for Hudson River Park Trust’s reboot of Pier 26.

Besides the Downtown Boathouse, which moved back to the pier in 2014, the trust is also building an estuarium where residents can learn about the Hudson River’s unique ecosystem.

Additionally, the trust hired landscape architecture firm OLIN to design a recreational space on the pier that will feature additional education exhibits about the environment. Wils said the design should be completed in three months.

City Vineyard builds on the pier’s environmental focus by emphasizing locally sourced ingredients and sustainable agriculture — many of them drawn from farms near Dorf’s home in the Hudson Valley, according the restaurant’s general manager, Todd Whiteman. .com

Photos by Alex Ellefson

City Vineyard’s rooftop bar offers bright city views, including of 1 WTC.

One eye-catching innovation of City Winery impresario Michael Dorf’s new venture is that City Vineyard offers 15 wines on tap.

Menu items are designed to complement the wine, which is poured from spouts tapping oak barrels attached to the walls. The vino is made nearby at Dorf’s City Winery.

But Whiteman said they are working to outfit the new restaurant so the wine can be pressed and fermented on-site at the pier.

“The whole concept is about tying

Long-awaited oenophile outpost City Vineyard is finally open at Pier 26.

the wine to the experience,” said Whiteman.

Menu items for the outdoor space include shareable, small-plate dishes such as an artisanal cheese plate ($23), a cured meats board ($20) and house-marinated Mediterranean olives ($7). Whiteman said a cabernet-infused slaw, made with pressed grape leaves, is also in the works.

The indoor menu will focus on seafood, and offer entrée options that run between $28 and $35 (visit citywinery.com/newyork/pier26/ for details).

While the open-air parts of City Vineyard will close between November and April, the indoor space — with floor-to-ceiling windows facing west, south and east — will operate yearround.

September 15 - 21, 2016

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Abrons Artists Exalt the Jay Wegman Era Departing director leaves legacy of creative carte blanche

Photo by Adam Levy

Dickie Beau in “Blackouts,” Oct. 6–15.

BY TRAV S.D. When an arts organization is over a century old, even major things, such as a staff change, can seem transitory.

In the case of the Abrons Arts Center and its outgoing Artistic Director Jay Wegman, the shift has the potential to be seismic. After a decade at the helm of Abrons, Wegman has left to take a post as Director at NYU’s Skirball Center for the Performing Arts. The legacy he leaves behind at Abrons is significant and widely admired.

The Abrons Arts Center turned 100 .com

just last year. Its parent organization, the Henry Street Settlement, is even older (it was founded as a social services organization in 1893). Originally called the Neighborhood Playhouse, the space that evolved into the Abrons was part of the “Little Theatre” movement, with a mission of providing classical drama for area residents. The original 300-seat Playhouse is still in use, with the addition of newer playing spaces: the “underground” studio, a black box, and an amphitheater. In addition to its curated seasons, the

Center also sponsors gallery exhibitions, education programs, summer camps, and artist residencies.

Into this venerated and venerable institution walked Wegman in 2006. Originally from Minnesota, he brought with him a background as an ordained Episcopalian priest and Canon for Liturgy and the Arts at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine.

“Jay came along when things were feeling sort of dry Downtown,” recalled Jennifer Miller, whose Circus Amok launched Abrons’ 2016/2017

season on September 11. “All of the creativity I had associated with the Lower East Side seemed to be drying up, and the emphasis at [key institutions like] PS122 and Dance Theater Workshop, seemed to be on expanding. Then I started hearing about stuff happening at Abrons. Jay revived it.

He supported and nourished all kinds of queer and heartfelt and neighborhoody work, and I started to see things there.”

WEGMAN continued on p. 18 September 15 - 21, 2016

17

WEGMAN continued from p. 17

Said Wegman about those earlier years, “I was charged with revitalizing the theaters, so I started seeking out underserved, emerging artists — avant-garde performers who didn’t fit into just one genre and who needed a home, and who could benefit from the use of the space. This being New York City, I wanted to present work audiences wouldn’t see somewhere else. I love stuff that is whacked out — crazy, but a good crazy. Art that takes great risks. Later I got money to commission work and attract international artists, and so it gradually grew.”

One of the first artists he brought in was choreographer and neo-burlesque legend Julie Atlas Muz, whose memorable performances there included an X-rated version of “Beauty and the Beast” which she presented in collaboration with her husband, sideshow artist Matt Fraser; and “Sisters’ Follies: Between Two Worlds,” an irreverent celebration of the playhouse’s centennial co-starring drag artist Joey Arias and directed by the puppeteer Basil Twist.

“Jay has a keen eye and an adventurous spirit,” Muz told this publication. “He made Abrons feel like home for me. I live just down the road, therefore am a real local in the neighborhood. When Jay began his tenure, I had just moved into my apartment. He invited me to visit the theater; and since then, I always have felt very comfortable barging into his office with a question, a need for a hug, or some wine, or some chocolate to share... This wild man, with a very experimental and pure sense of theater, also really listens. That’s, I think, Jay’s true strength. He listens. He says yes. He is a dreamer. His curating style is about the artwork and the people, not about his ego or his vision.”

Another key Downtown company, Target Margin Theater, has developed and produced many works at Abrons over the years — including the Yiddish-language “The (*) Inn” and their upcoming “Mourning Becomes Electra,” which they workshopped a section of last season. According to David Herskovits, their artistic director, “Jay made the place incredibly hospitable. It’s a place to meet and work; much more a home than a rental house. You end up bumping into other artists working in the building, and building relationships over time, and that enhances the work.”

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September 15 - 21, 2016

Photo by Gaia Squarci

Target Margin Theater’s “Mourning Becomes Electra” plays May 3–20, 2017.

Photo by Rose Ortiz

Of his decade at Abrons, Jay Wegman says he’s most proud of fostering “a creative environment that was casual and hospitable.”

New York City Players’ revival of Richard Maxwell’s “Good Samaritans” plays Feb. 26–Mar. 24, 2017.

Wegman cites that climate of artistic fermentation as his greatest accomplishment at Abrons. “I loved it when artists popped into my office and would just hang out. I’m proudest of creating an atmosphere, a creative environment that was casual and hospitable,” he said.

As it happens, Wegman is leaving on the strongest of possible notes: an exciting season that includes a 150th anniversary revival of the seminal American proto-musical “The Black Crook” (Sept. 19–Oct.

7), London “drag fabulist” Dickie Beau in “Blackouts” (Oct. 6–15), a revival of Richard Maxwell’s “Good Samaritans” (Feb. 26–Mar. 24), and Target Margin Theater’s “Mourning Becomes Electra” (May 3–20).

As for his hopes for his new gig at Skirball, “I want [my programming there] to be as rigorous and challenging as the NYU curriculum, an extension of the classroom. I want to bring art that is not easily categorized and crack open the heads of students — and those of New Yorkers, as well.”

Courtesy New York City Players

The Abrons recently announced the hiring of its new artistic director, Craig Peterson, whose credits include leadership positions at the Philly Fringe Festival and Gibney Dance.

Where he will take the organization next is not yet known.

Abrons Arts Center is located at 466 Grand St. (btw. Pitt & Willett Sts.). For info, call 212-598-0400 or visit abronsartscenter.org. Facebook: facebook.com/AbronsArtsCenter.

Twitter: @AbronsArtCtr. .com

Essential and Influential Abrons Arts Center has always mattered

BY PENNY ARCADE 2015 ushered in the centennial of the Abrons Arts Center, its mission intact, which cannot be said of most institutions today. It was built in 1915, as the Neighborhood Playhouse at the Henry Street Settlement,

by Lillian Wald. Wald, who founded the Henry Street Settlement in 1893, was one of the 20th century’s most visionary social activists.

Along with The Washington Square Players and The Provincetown Playhouse, the Neighborhood Playhouse created the backbone of modern theatre in New York, with hugely influential performances from Isadora Duncan to Orson Welles, to those of the present day.

Wald, an outspoken Feminist who understood the role of theatre and the arts as agents for social change, also created an art school which is still active, offering 100 dance, music, theater, and visual art classes a year — which, like the Playhouse, had a huge role as the birthplace of the American avant-garde and modern art, with faculty and students like Martha Graham, Alwin Nikolais, Aaron Copeland, Jackson Pollak, and John Cage.

Under the directorship of Jay Wegman (2006–2016), the Abrons has returned the to a front-and-center player in contemporary theatre, through his commitment to both innovation and excellence. Wegman created a

ABRONS ARTS CENTER

466 Grand St. (btw. Pitt & Willett Sts.) 212-598-0400 | abronsartscenter.org The Abrons Arts Center, the performing and visual arts program of Henry Street Settlement, supports the presentation of innovative, multi-disciplinary work and serves as an intersection of cultural engagement for local, national, and international audiences and arts-workers. Artists that have appeared on the Abrons’ stages include Laurie Anderson, Joey Arias, Justin Vivian Bond, Philippe Petit, Rufus Wainwright, and John Zorn.

Courtesy Abrons Arts Center

The Playhouse seats 300 and has changed little since 1915.

home for experimental investigation, a laboratory for theatrical inquiry, and a sense of artistic community, which has been ebbing away under the forces of gentrification.

Abrons Arts Center houses three theaters, an art gallery, along with the art school, and a public school program. The Playhouse, a jewel box with its proscenium stage, seats 300 and remains little changed since 1915.

The Experimental Theatre is a black box that seats 60,

and the underground theater space seats 99. Abrons is the home to both a dance festival and new performance festival, and programs a year-round roster of theatre, musicals, dance, and performance art.

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A Captivating Spy Tale Told With Chutzpah

‘Ring of Lies’ thrills, and that’s the truth

BY SHAVNA ABRUZZO “When a Mossad mission goes horribly wrong, only one agent can save the day!”

That tantalizing screamer is a teaser of the red meat each page hurls into readers’ voracious jaws in Roni Dunevich’s gritty spy shocker, “Ring of Lies.”

The high-speed, contemporary potboiler of violence, cold-hard calculation, and industrial-strength chutzpah is the internationally best-selling Israeli crime writer’s stateside debut of his suspenseful Alex Bartal series, which was serialized in Israel’s biggest newspaper.

And it’s a nail-biter from the get-go.

Bartal is director of operations at Israeli intelligence agency Mossad — a job requiring the hardscrabble sleuth to sleep with one eye open on good days; but the week that the book follows brings him to the brink of disaster when one of his agents is kidnapped during a top-secret assignment to capture, work over, and kill an Iranian general. The toppled plot triggers the deaths — one member at a time — of a sleeper-cell network of Mossad spies, propelling a series of intensifying calamities that drip, drip, drip a trail of blood, treachery, and infamy across two continents.

Convinced of a mole within Mossad, Bartal hot-foots to Europe and Asia to hunt and destroy the turncoat, his adrenaline-packed, action-mobbed

investigation ascending to the highest levels of international espionage and government — and sinking into the deepest recesses of a tortured past. Along the way, readers make the acquaintance of enigmatic sleepers from the Ring of the Nibelungs — named for Richard Wagner’s German-language epic music dramas based loosely on characters from the Norse sagas — and a cast of unsavory actors, including “The Disfigured One,” “The Pockmarked One,” and “The Bald One Without Eyebrows.”

Bartal’s relentless pursuit unleashes personal demons that clash with Europe’s murky and troubled history, and make him wonder if he is hunting an apparition or a merciless murderer who will stop at nothing to achieve his deadly purpose.

The Mossad agency is the breakout star of “Ring,” riveting readers to the inscrutable operatives and clandestine operations of the Israeli spy intelligence agency which brought real-life Nazi war criminal Adolf Eichmann to justice.

Dunevich’s inaugural English-language novel in his award-winning Alex Bartal series is liquid prose, tumbling drop by drop like a rich brandy — this reviewer gulped it down, cover to cover, in a weekend!

Its nail-biting journey through the lairs and labyrinths of intercontinental undercover work is already out in paperback, and captivating whodunnit fans across America.

Courtesy HarperCollins

Roni Dunevich’s inaugural novel has intrigue to spare.

English-language

“Ring of Lies” (HarperCollins, 480 pages, 2016, $15.99). Roni Dunevich was born in 1961 in Tel Aviv, Israel. He began his literary career as a copywriter and a strategic consultant.

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Rhymes With Crazy THE WEST SIDE’S COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER

Publisher

The Good, the Bad and the Airport

Jennifer Goodstein

Editor Scott Stiffler

Editorial Assistant Sean Egan

Art Director Michael Shirey

Graphic Designer Cristina Alcine

Contributors

Lincoln Anderson Jane Argodale Stephanie Buhmann Jackson Chen Sean Egan Alex Ellefson Winnie McCroy Colin Mixson Puma Perl Paul Schindler Trav S.D. Eileen Stukane

Executive VP of Advertising Amanda Tarley

Account Executives Jack Agliata Lauren Blair Allison Greaker Jim Steele Julio Tumbaco

Published by

NYC Community Media, LLC

One Metrotech North, 10th Floor, Brooklyn, NY 11201 Phone: (212) 229-1890 Fax: (212) 229-2790 www.chelseanow.com scott@chelseanow.com © 2016 NYC Community Media, LLC Member of the New York Press Association

Chelsea Now is published weekly by NYC Community Media

LLC, One Metrotech North, 10th Floor, Brooklyn, NY 11201.

(212) 229-1890. Annual subscription by mail in Manhattan and Brooklyn $75. The entire contents of newspaper, including advertising, are copyrighted and no part may be reproduced without the express permission of the publisher - © 2016 NYC Community Media LLC, Postmaster: Send address changes to Chelsea Now, One Metrotech North, 10th Floor, Brooklyn, NY 11201.

BY LENORE SKENAZY A recent New York Times description of LaGuardia Airport bore a certain resemblance to the End Times. As Patrick McGeehan reported on one particularly terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day last month: “Harried travelers abandoned cars and navigated the clogged Grand Central Parkway — the main highway serving LaGuardia — on foot with suitcases in tow. Such traffic debacles have become so common that seasoned fliers and travel bloggers have recommended avoiding La Guardia altogether, perhaps for years to come.”

This called to mind the evening I’d flown home earlier in the summer to find a line of perhaps 200–300 people waiting for a taxi.

I whipped out my phone and videotaped it the way you’d video a funnel cloud or mud slide.

And those were people who weren’t going to miss a plane! Anyone trying to depart has been advised by the Transportation Security Administration to arrive at LaGuardia a minimum of 2 hours before takeoff. So, last week, I did.

For a 1pm fight on American, I got to the airport at 10:30am via the amazingly efficient bus from the 74th Street and Roosevelt Avenue Station. To my shock, everything seemed efficient when I arrived, too. The check-in lines were vanishingly short, the lady at the bookstore delightfully chatty, and the security line pleasantly swift and groping-free. I felt I could almost hold onto a bottle of water, it was that sane.

Cheerfully I entered Terminal C to look for gate C37 and saw the sign: Gates C1–14.

Hmm. “I just walked all the way to the end,” a lady told me as we meandered around before discovering a little desk where a harried employee was explaining that Terminal C is now in two different buildings at once, physics be damned.

To get to the parallel universe C requires a shuttle bus, something that must throw off any travelers who allotted themselves

just a few minutes to walk to their gate.

And to get to the shuttle bus requires schlepping down a bunch of sad, service-entrance steps with your luggage or, in the case of one family I was watching, your luggage, your two babies, and your double stroller. No elevator, no offer of help.

Welcome American Airlines passengers!

The shuttle bus winds its way past the New York of 1977: Piles of traffic barriers looming next to loading docks protected by the dingy plastic strips you see at the car wash. All it’s missing is a blackout.

“I’ve never seen an airport so messy,” Sravya Bandi, an IT analyst down from Montreal, told me.

But then you get off the bus, drag your luggage (and kids and double stroller) up three flights of stairs, and suddenly: Oz! This terminal is gleaming! It’s more than respectable — it elegantly refutes the famous Joe Biden quote, “If I blindfolded you and took you to LaGuardia Airport, you [would] think, ‘I must be in some third world country.’ ” Why, none of the seats here are ripped.

No weird brown stains are spreading across the ceiling. And there’s nary an Auntie Anne’s pretzels to be gnawed.

Okay, the parking is impossible and “There is clearly not enough room to drop people off,” said Marie DeParis, a televi-

sion marketing exec on her way to Florida.

“But once you walk inside and get past security, it’s beautiful!”

The travelers I spoke to from Ghana, Ukraine, and even New Jersey marveled at the futuristic décor, including a restaurant so sleek one man wasn’t sure how to order.

“I kept trying to signal a waiter,” he said, “until someone explained, ‘No, you order using the iPad.’ ” Bo Miller, a 42-year-old veteran from Charlotte, NC, said he found the prices futuristic, too.

“I just had a burger and the smallest ginger ale I ever had, for $21.”

But, he added, the burger was good.

Yes, there will be years of construction along with untold parking woes.

There may still be those days like the one a traveler named Will recalled from his most recent LaGuardia trip: “We were 44th in line for takeoff.”

But for those of us traumatized by the old LaGuardia, the Airport of Despair, the new terminal hints of brighter days to come.

After some delays.

Lenore Skenazy is a keynote speaker who authored the book, and founded the blog, Free-Range Kids (freerangekids.com).

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