DOWNTOWN EXPRESS, DEC. 4, 2014

VOLUME 27, NUMBER 13

DECEMBER 4-DECEMBER 17, 2014

News Analysis

ELBOWS SHARPEN AS SEAPORT TOWER FIGHT GOES TO NEXT PHASE

D

BY JOSH ROGERS

o you hate towers more than you love schools and affordable housing?

That’s essentially the question, really the challenge, Howard Hughes Corp. is putting to community leaders with its latest plan to develop the South Street Seaport.

No wonder that after it was released two weeks ago, one of the opponents said both sides understand it’s time to “play hardball” The fight over whether community needs such as a middle school were more important than reducing the size of the proposed tower (now almost 500 feet) by the South Street Seaport Historic District, was predictable, but community leaders were able to stave it off for most of the year with a new idea, the Seaport Working Group. The group included local politicians, community leaders and Hughes executives.

But with the changes, Hughes executives made it clear they were ready too say goodbye in effect, to the Continued on page 14

Downtown Express photo by Zach Williams

Anti-police outrage hits Governors Isle New York City high school students dominated a demonstration Monday reacting to last week’s decision in Ferguson, Mo. not to indict the police officer who killed unarmed teen Michael Brown last summer. One of them, Shana Buckstad, above, hit some rough waters to get to the march, which began in Union Square.

Buckstad, 17, a student organizer at Governors Island’s New York Harbor

School, said Principal Kim Swanson told her that she would be held responsible if other students walked out of classes.

She said 167 students went to the island’s ferry terminal at about noon, but were given seats only after a halfhour sit-in.

“We sat there on the ground with our hands up and said: ‘Hands up!

Don’t shoot!’ and then we were ready

1 M E T R OT E C H • N YC 11 20 1 • CO P Y R I G H T © 2014 N YC CO M M U N I T Y M E D I A , L LC

and we got on,” said Buckstad.

Swanson declined to comment, referring questions to the city Dept. of Education, which also did not comment.

Two days after the march, the officer in the Staten Island killing of Eric Garner was not indicted, trigggering even larger protests. More protesters were expected to gather in Foley Square Dec. 4.

C.B. 1 angered by Battery Park City Authority Old tensions between the Battery Park City Authority and Community Board 1 resurfaced again Tuesday night.

At the board’s Battery Park City Committee meeting Dec. 2, Robin Forst, vice president of external relations, was slated to present, but was unable to attend due to an illness. B.P.C. Committee members were upset that no one was sent in her place.

Forst was supposed to give an update about whether the B.P.C.A. plans, as is expected, to announce Dec. 4 who has won the bid for the North Cove marina.

There are several vying for the marina’s R.F.P., request for proposals, which includes Michael Fortenbaugh, president of North Cove Management, who has been operating out of the marina for the past ten years. Fortenbaugh is also the landlord to Thomas Berton, of Manhattan

by Sail, which operate tours in his historic schooner Shearwater.

2

December 4-December 17 2014

Berton told the committee that his operation and that of another historic ship, the Ventura, were not mentioned in the R.F.P. and if it goes to someone other than Fortenbaugh, it is unclear what would happen.

“There’s as an R.F.P. that is going to yield results for years to come, and it’s going to freeze out the only affordable amenity,” said Jeffrey Mihok, committee member.

Mihok said that the bigger issue is that the authority should have informed the community board about the R.F.P. as well as given updates.

“The authority did not solicit any direct input from the community board,” said Tammy Meltzer, committee member.

The committee’s chairperson Anthony Notaro said that this was another example of the bad relationship between the community board and the authority, which was the subject of a report last year.

The committee passed one res-

olution that endorses the type of operation that Berton runs. A second resolution was also passed that there needs to be improved communication between the authority

and the community board as well as more C.B.1 representation on the B.P.C.A’s board.

— DUSICA SUE MALESEVIC

Downtown Express photo by Milo Hess

Same stripe, new season

This striped tape on scaffolding at Hudson and Chambers Sts., have been visible for a few months, but this week the candy cane look seemed to add a holiday feel to Tribeca.

DowntownExpress.com

The never-ending & rocky road to fixing a historic street

BY DUSICA SUE MALESEVIC N. Moore St. residents are upset with the state of their street, between Varick and Hudson Sts. in the historic district of Tribeca, which they say has been in disrepair for over a decade.

“This road since I’ve been here has been a disaster,” said Ron Ervolino, a resident of 26 N. Moore St., who has lived on the block since 1999.

When Ervolino first arrived on the street, it was cobblestone.

“It was very poor condition back then,” he said in a phone interview.

Even at that time, residents were making calls, he said, to get the street resurfaced but they could never get any traction. Then, suddenly and without warning, the cobblestone street was paved with asphalt in the middle of the night, said Ervolino.

“It was done very poorly and very quickly,” he recalled.

Surface work was done one more time five years ago, but Ervolino said it was not done in a satisfactory manner.

“In the duration of my time on the block, the road … has never been repaved, has never been properly surfaced,” he said. “It’s always been a Band-Aid.” Margarit Ordukhanyan, another resident at 26 N. Moore St., moved to the block about three years ago and has not seen the street with its

original cobblestone.

Ordukhanyan said that the quality of the road work was so poor that the asphalt is now broken down and that the cobblestones underneath are poking through it. Other work that was done concerning gas mains has been covered over with metal plates that bang at night when cars go over them.

There are parts of the street that are just sinking, Ordukhanyan said in a phone interview.

“There is no drainage on the street,” she said. “All these potholes and ditches collect rotting water.”

There are two restaurants on the street and when “the businesses wash down the pavement, the dirty water runs out on the street and just sits there,” she said.

Ervolino called the ponding water “unsanitary” and said that the block has had problems with rats.

Both said that the smell is the worst in the winter.

Ordukhanyan said, “I have sent letters to City Hall. I have filed complaints with the Department of Transportation and Department of Sanitation.”

She said that the city did send an exterminator to take care of the rat overpopulation, but the overall condition of the street has not been addressed.

The D.O.T, she said, sent her a response that stated that the repaving of the street was not in the

The last asphalt paving of the block between Varick and Hudson Sts. was about five years ago, although there have been small repairs done more recently.

DowntownExpress.com

Downtown Express photos by Dusica Sue Malesevic

Tribeca’s N. Moore St. has not seen its historic cobblestones for many years.

budget.

A D.O.T. spokesperson did not answer most questions for this article, but in an email she wrote that the agency is aware of the community’s concerns regarding the street, and is reviewing possible options.

“We have been calling and calling and calling,” said Ervolino. “For whatever reason we cannot seem to get anything to happen.”

He said that he and other residents have called 311 and have reached out to Community Board 1, councilmembers and the mayor’s office.

Ordukhanyan said that D.O.T. would send a crew to patch up a specific pothole, but that is not enough.

“It’s not going to solve the drainage problem,” she said, “It’s not going to solve the uneven street surface problem.”

Ordukhanyan will bypass her own street because she doesn’t want go down it. She says it is not safe to drive down the street and for her, there is a health and safety concern.

Another issue is the aesthetics of a street that is part of the Tribeca West Historic District. The original granite plates for the sidewalk have been maintained, but not the street.

“Somehow once you step off the sidewalk, it seems that nobody’s concerned about what that looks like,” Ordukhanyan said. “It really is not befitting historic Tribeca to have a street like this.”

Other streets in the neighborhood’s historic districts have been

resurfaced.

“Every other street in our neighborhood has been re-cobbled,” she said. “It has been dolled up, properly restructured and re-cobbled to emulate historic Tribeca. The exception is this particular street block and we have no idea why.”

Ervolino said he doesn’t understand why asphalt on top of cobblestone is considered acceptable for a landmarked district.

“It’s this Frankenstein of a block, where it’s not cobblestone, it’s not really asphalt and overall it’s a complete mess,” he said.

Lynn Ellsworth, chairperson of the Tribeca Trust, said that the D.O.T. has inconsistent policies when it comes to the neighborhood’s historic districts. The same problem is happening on Duane St., where asphalt has been put on top of the cobblestone, or Belgian blocks — granite pavers the size of bricks.

“We would support N. Moore becoming cobblestone again,” Roger Byrom, chairperson of the C.B. 1’s Landmarks Committee, said in a phone interview.

The street needs to be resurfaced sooner rather than later, said Ordukhanyan.

“It has deteriorated visibly in the three and half years I’ve been living in the neighborhood,” she said. “I think the street really is in dire need of complete structural repair. And it has to be done soon because it keeps getting worse and worse.”

December 4-December 17, 2014

3

WOMAN MUGGED IN TRIBECA A woman entered the 1,2,3 Chambers St. station in Tribeca at Sunday at 11:30 p.m. when a man approached her, grabbed her by the jacket collar, pushed her against the wall and took her purse.

After rifling through her bag Nov. 30, the suspect stole her iPhone 6, valued at $600 and a Sony Cyber-shot digital camera worth $350 and then fled.

The 29-year-old woman chased after her assailant but told police she lost sight of

him at the corner of Reade St. Police say that they used an iPhone tracking app, which put the cell in Brooklyn, but the phone was then turned off.

KNIFE FIGHT IN SOHO Police arrested a man they say slashed a victim in Soho two weeks ago at about 3 p.m.

It started when the suspect, 19, approached a 20-year-old man at the corner of Broome St. and Sixth Ave. on

Tues., Nov. 18. The accused, who resides in Harlem, began arguing with the other man, from the Upper East Side, and his friend, from White Plains.

Police say he then pulled out a pocket knife and waved it at the other man, who tried to punch the suspect to defend himself. Police say the suspect used the knife to slash the other man in the abdomen and on the right side of his neck. They did not say how seriously the victim was injured.

Police arrested the suspect, but could not find the knife they say he used. Police did not say if the incident was connected to the nearby high school.

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It was the mysterious case of a box of clothes taken from a Federal Express truck last week in Soho.

On Wed., Nov. 26, at around 10 a.m., a witness saw one man staring at the back of the Fed Ex truck, which was parked at 166 Mercer St., for two minutes before approaching the vehicle. Police say the man and his partner proceeded to take a box of clothes from the unlocked rear door.

When the witness, a 26-year-old man from Virginia, asked them what they were doing, one of the men said that his partner worked for FedEx. The man with the box got away. The other man, 59, was arrested.

A FedEx employee told police that the man who evaded arrest does not work for FedEx. It does not appear the suspect works for the company either.

PRICEY PURSE STOLEN A thief snatched a $1,300 handbag at the Marc Jacobs Soho store at 12:30 p.m. on Sat., Nov. 29.

A male employee, 42, reported the theft at 163 Mercer St. and said that the female suspect had concealed the purse and then fled on foot.

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VALUABLE BATHROOM DISCOVERY A Florida woman made the mistake of leaving her purse unattended in a McDonald’s bathroom in the Financial District last week and a thief got away with $500 in cash.

On Tues., Nov. 25, the woman, 31, used the restroom at the fast food joint at 160 Broadway at 6:40 p.m. She left her purse there for about ten minutes, she told police. When she came back to retrieve it, the contents, which also included a pair of baby earrings worth $100, a $30 Walmart gift card and numerous credit cards in addition to the money, was gone.

Police say that there is possible video surveillance outside of the restroom, but no arrest has been made.

SUBWAY CRIMES A Staten Island man fall asleep while riding the R train from Brooklyn to the Manhattan on Fri., Nov. 28, and placed his backpack at his feet. When he awoke at 10:30 a.m. at Whitehall Station in the Financial District, his bag was gone.

Inside the 25-year-old’s backpack was $60, a $200 black Gucci wallet, his driver’s license, an iPod and several credit cards.

In a separate incident Nov. 22, a police officer witnessed a 41-year-old Queens man remove a $200 Apple iPhone from a sleeping passenger, a 37-year-old Bronx man, as the E train was leaving the World Trade Center.

Police say the train was held at the next stop, Canal St., and the officer arrested the man, early Saturday at 1:50 a.m. Police say the officer recovered the iPhone, which was hidden in the man’s left sock and the suspect had two open warrants.

TWO CAUGHT, TWO HEADED TO ALASKA? One coat thief left his name and phone number with a Soho store before he fled two weeks ago, but he got away, and it was actually two of his three accomplices who got caught on a Friday.

The four-member team nabbed two coats worth $1,900 Nov. 21, but two teen suspects were caught and arrested.

Two employees at Mackage, which sells luxury accessories and coats, at 123 Mercer St. said that the four — two men and two women — stole the coats around 12:30 p.m.

While two of the team fled in an Acura with Alaskan plates, a man and woman, both 15 and from Brooklyn, were arrested.

— DUSICA SUE MALESEVIC DowntownExpress.com

State accepts Southbridge vote to privatize

BY JOSH ROGERS Southbridge Towers’ vote two months ago to privatize has been accepted by the state attorney general and the state Division of Housing and Community Renewal, according to leaders at the complex.

“My opposition of 25 years is over,” Victor Papa, a former Southbridge president of the board, told Downtown Express the day before Thanksgiving. “I’m opting in,” meaning he will be taking full ownership rights of his apartment.

Sometime next year, Southbridge residents are expected to be allowed to sell their apartments on the open market now that they have voted to leave the Mitchell-Lama middle

pleased” to hear Papa had dropped his opposition.

Papa and other privatization opponents had challenged the results of the vote, which ended Sept. 30. Southbridge voted overwhelmingly to privatize, 1,082 to 373, but under the Mitchell-Lama law, it was only 10 votes more than were needed to pass.

A nother privatization opponent, Paul Hovitz, president of the Southbridge Towers Shareholders Association, said he’s far from convinced that the vote was proper and that attorney Barry Mallin is reviewing the letter from the state housing agency on behalf of some

‘My opposition of 25 years is over.’

— Victor Papa

class housing program.

Wally Dimson, president of the board, said last week that he has been notified by the attorney general’s office that after a review of the vote, it has been certified, and a mailing would soon go out to residents allowing them to opt in to the new program.

The 1,651 apartments at the complex just south of the Brooklyn Bridge range in values from about $300,000 to over $1 million, according to the official appraisal.

Residents who choose not to opt in, can continue paying rent and will be subject to rent increases under rent stabilization rules.

Senior citizens currently receiving SCRIE rent subsidies will be able to continue under that program.

Dimson, who was out of the country Nov. 26, said he was “very

privatization opponents.

“We hoped, but did not really expect, D.H.C.R. to do the in-depth investigation that would allay questions of a biased result.” Hovitz wrote in an email to Downtown Express last week. “In fact, it appears that D.H.C.R. asked Honest Ballot…if they did everything by the rules. They said yes and D.H.C.R. simply took their word for it. A little like asking the fox about the hen house.”

Hovitz, who has known Papa for decades, said he was more than surprised to read about his ally’s change of heart in a Nov. 26 article posted on downtownexpress.com.

“Frankly, I was bowled over,” Hovitz said Tuesday.

Papa, said he was at peace with accepting defeat.

“It’s over,” he said. “I’m liberated.”

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December 4-December 17, 2014

5

P.S. 150 celebrates with human blue ribbon They celebrated with blueberry muffins in October, and on Nov. 21, P.S. 150 students showed off their spatial relationship skills by forming a human blue ribbon to celebrate the school’s national award for academic excellence from the U.S. Dept. of Education. The small Tribeca school in Independence Plaza was the only school in Manhattan and one of six across the city to win a National Blue Ribbon Award. Principal Jenny Bonnet, students and parents braved the cold to welcome new District 2 Superintendent Bonnie Laboy for the celebration. Students sang “A Brand New Day”— parents may never forget the city’s failed attempt last year to throw the school out of the neighborhood. Gov. Andrew Cuomo also sent students a letter of congratulations. Alyssa Polack, a former principal, wrote “Miss this gem of a place!!!!”on the school’s Facebook page.

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December 4-December 17, 2014

7

With fewer parishioners, Downtown churches to downsize

BY ZACH WILLIAMS Some Downtown Catholic parishes will cease holding regular Mass services as part of a reshuffling of church resources in Lower Manhattan and throughout the Archdiocese of New York.

A number of area parishes will each absorb a neighboring parish as part of a plan unveiled on Nov. 2 by the archdiocese. In most of these cases, however, regular services and sacraments will continue at individual churches that are not the designated parish church.

But for the Lower East Side’s St. James and St. Joseph Church, at 5 Monroe St., and the East Village’s Nativity Mission, at 44 Second Ave., there is an extra degree of uncertainty as their parishes respectively merge with Chinatown’s Church of the Transfiguration, at 29 Mott St., and the Church of the Most Holy Redeemer, 173 E. Third St. Church of St. Andrew, at 20 Cardinal Hayes Place near City Hall, will merge with Our Lady of Victory, at 60 William St. Masses but services will continue to be held at St. Andrew, however.

For staff, clergy and parishioners, many details remain undecided at the soon-to-be closed churches through-

out the archdiocese, which covers Manhattan, the Bronx, Staten Island and seven Upstate counties. Among the lingering questions are who will lead the combined parishes, as well as the future of unused church properties in the hot local real estate market.

“At the present moment, I am not sure what they will do with me,” Father Lino Gonsalves, pastor of St. James and St. Joseph, said in a telephone interview.

Combining the two parishes with Church of the Transfiguration necessitates decisions on everything from administrative details to parish clergy — a process that, he added, should conclude by the archdiocese’s Aug. 1, 2015, deadline for the announced mergers.

By that time, 112 out of 368 current parishes in the archdiocese will combine to form 55 new parishes, according to a Nov. 2 statement.

“Everyone’s learning a new dance,” Father Joseph Tyrrell of St. Peter’s Church in the Financial District, said. Under the archdiocese plan, which was five years in the making, his Barclay St. parish will absorb that of nearby Our Lady of the Rosary, at 7 State St., though the latter will continue to hold regular Mass and sacraments.

Additional mergers could still be announced in the coming months.

Details also remain unclear on what will happen with underutilized church-owned real estate, in order to further social initiatives, such as affordable housing and education programs, according to the archdiocese statement.

The archdiocese, along with many of the local parishes, did not respond to requests for comment. However, in a letter published last year in Catholic New York, Cardinal Timothy Dolan outlined how Lower Manhattan parishes exemplify the challenges facing the archdiocese.

There are 29 parishes below 14th St. among the more than 80 in Manhattan, he noted then. Yet Manhattan parishes comprise about 25 percent of the archdiocese’s total while only serving about 10 percent of the Catholic population of more than 2 million people he oversees, according to the letter.

An anticipated shortage of priests further strains the archdiocese’s ability to man so many parishes, Dolan added.

“Having this large number of parishes certainly made sense when they were established, mostly in the mid-19th and early 20th centuries,” he said in the letter

Downtown Express photo by Zach Williams

Most Precious Blood Church, at 109 Mulberry St., will merge into the parish of Old St. Patrick’s Cathedral.

published Oct. 3, 2013. “They no longer make sense now in the 21st century and on into the future.”

At Most Precious Blood Church, at 109 Mulberry St., on a recent Sunday morning, the grandiose architecture contrasted starkly with the scant attendance.

The church first opened its doors in the 1880s when Italian immigrants domiContinued on page 20

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C.B. 3 slams brakes on resolution on bridge tolls

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BY LESLE Y SUSSMAN A proposal that would call on politicians to explore the possibility of putting tolls on all three East River bridges to help cut congestion in parts of Community Board 3 hit a roadblock at last month’s full-board meeting. C.B. 3 voted 21-12 against the measure, which was drafted by the board’s Transportation and Public Safety/Environment Subcommittee.

For several months now, C.B. 3 and the subcommittee have been trying to address the problem of traffic bottlenecks along Clinton, Canal and Grand Sts. that is largely caused by the huge volume of cars, cabs and trucks taking advantage of toll-free crossings on the Williamsburg, Brooklyn and Manhattan bridges.

The subcommittee’s resolution asked politicians to “undertake a review of public policy proposals” that address the vehicular congestion problem, including a “Fair Tolling and Transportation Reinvestment Plan” proposed by Move NY, a nonprofit transportation consulting group led by Downtown Express contributor “Transit Sam” Schwartz. Move NY has been advocating for bridge tolls rather than fare hikes to help pay for maintenance of the city’s bridges, roadways and transit system.

At the Nov. 25 C.B. 3 meeting, many board members objected both to the idea of tolls and the wording of a section of the resolution that called for “immediate support” for any proposal that elected officials felt effective, including the Move NY plan.

Some board members said that tolling the East River bridges would reduce the number of shoppers driving into the

Lower East Side from other boroughs and put a damper on already-struggling local businesses. Others said the tolls would negatively impact low-income residents who do a fair amount of driving back and forth on the bridges.

Regarding the resolution’s working, board member Joyce Ravitz questioned why “immediate support” was necessary. She was joined by C.B. 3 Treasurer Bill LoSasso, who said, “The proposal needs to be much broader, not just gearing in on buzz words.”

Richard Ropiak, chairperson of C.B. 3’s Economic Development Subcommittee, added, “We don’t have a Macy’s or large department stores in this area.

All our businesses are small businesses, and a reduction of traffic would impair these small businesses. We don’t want to discourage traffic to Chinatown and other neighborhoods.”

Voicing her objection, board member Vaylateena Jones said, That’s why I’m against it.”

Another objection was raised by Herman Hewitt, the board’s first vice chairperson.

“I’m definitely against it,” he said.

“There’s no way of controlling the level of prices once tolls are established.

Every year they will raise the tolls. It’s the same thing they’ve done on the Verrazano Bridge and the Holland Tunnel.”

John Leo, a Transportation Subcommittee member, spoke in favor of the resolution.

“The committee has taken into consideration all objections and concerns” before drafting its proposal,” he said.

He noted, for example, that a secContinued on page 21

DowntownExpress.com

Two varied stories for developers in Tribeca & FiDi

BY DUSICA SUE MALESEVIC It is the tale of two variance applications — with two very disparate endings.

On the one hand is Trinity Church, whose application went relatively smoothly at Community Board 1’s Financial District Committee on Nov. 5. On the other, the developer for 100 Franklin St., whose presentation a week later to the board’s Tribeca Committee was meet with anger from residents.

A variance allows a developer to bypass certain zoning requirements if it can prove that complying with code is an economic hardship or presents practical difficulties.

The developer goes before the community board, which will make its recommendation to the Board of Standards and Appeals. The board then decides whether to approve.

Trinity Real Estate was applying for a yard wavier for their mixed-use 45-story tower they are planning to build at 68-74 Trinity Place. The base of the tower will house the Parish House and commercial space, and the above floors will be residential.

Since the property is irregularly shaped, the church wanted a waiver to not have a rear yard, which is a zoning condition of the interior lots, said Zachary Bernstein, of Fried Frank, their land use council.

The Parish House will occupy seven

floors of the tower, said Rich Gladstone, the architect and project manager.

The current building, he explained, has classrooms, church administration offices, and space for counseling, meeting and congregational events.

“The building is made up of two older buildings that were never designed for this use,” said Gladstone. “So they don’t really accommodate any of those things particularly well.”

It is bit difficult to move between the spaces, said Gladstone, who also said that the floors do not align. With its low ceilings and columns all over the place, it is not ideal for any large congregational use.

“As right now it is something of a bunker,” he said. “It is certainly not an inviting space to say the least.”

The new building would better accommodate the church programs and expand its outreach effort, said Gladstone.

When Trinity came before the Financial District Committee in September of last year, the community expressed disapproval of a tall tower being built behind the church.

“The building’s going to be there,” said Edward Sheffe, committee chairperson.

“No matter how we vote, no matter what we say.”

The church can build as-of-right, which means it does not need approval.

Trinity Church staff has already moved

Rendering courtesy of Trinity Church.

Rendering of Trinity Church’s proposed Parish House as part of its project at 68-74 Trinity Pl. received a much warmer reception at Community Board 1 than a variance application for a Tribeca project at 100 Frankilin St.

out of 68-74 Trinity Place. A developer has not yet been chosen. The new building will likely be completed by early 2018 and during that time, some of its programming — including Charlotte’s Place — will be put

SHOP. DINE. CELEBRATE.

on hold, said Bernstein.

The committee passed a resolution that approved the application.

Continued on page 12

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December 4-December 17, 2014

11

A tale of two variances Continued from page 11

Tribeca Project

The application of DDG Partners, the developers of 99-100 Franklin St., met a different fate at the Tribeca Committee meeting, which started off contentious.

In a packed room, Peter Braus, the committee chairperson, wanted to give the developer and the Tribeca residents 10 minutes apiece to make their case. This was met with an argument and Braus then agreed to 15 minutes each — although the discussion lasted much longer.

DDG wants to build two mixed-use buildings for commercial and residential use on the irregular, two triangular-shaped lot, said Valerie Campbell, a land use lawyer of Kramer Levin.

Campbell went over the history of the lot, which is currently a parking lot, and the hardship that would be created if the developer would have to comply with the requirements for lot coverage, height of the building, setback of the building from the street and the minimum width of the open area along the side lots.

The city’s Landmarks Preservation Commission approved a design, in January, said Campbell.

Campbell indicated that it was only after her clients went through the lengthy landmarks approval process, did they then conclude they would lose $4 million on

Downtown Express photo by Dusica Sue Malesevic

One of the two triangular parking lots at the 99-100 Franklin St. site.

the project and apply for the waiver. She did not explain the reasoning.

According to the B.S.A., there are five requirements for variance: a unique physical conditions that led to practical difficulties in the development of the lot; that there is “no reasonable possibility that the development…will bring reasonable return;” “will not alter the essential character of the neighborhood; that the hardship has not been created by the owner; and that “the variance, if granted, is the minimum variance necessary to afford relief.”

Mayor Bill de Blasio has appointed a new chair to the B.S.A., Margery Perlmutter, but the other three commissioners were appointed during the Bloomberg administration.

David Schoonmaker, a resident of

neighboring 17 White St., refuted DDG’s case.

“The irregular shape is a benefit, it’s not a hardship,” he said. “You can still make plenty of money without these variances. The variance process is not a vehicle to maximize profits.”

Eileen Bermingham, also a resident of 17 White St., said she has been opposed to the development since the beginning and questioned DDG’s numbers about how much square footage would go for in Tribeca.

“With the respect to the financial analysis, you really question the economics, the comparables are fictitious and it skews the entire analysis,” she said. “They’re coming up with an average of $1,656 per square foot in Tribeca, at the low end they

got $1,422, at the high end $1,867. If you can show me anywhere where I can buy real estate at $1,422, you better believe I would be there with my checkbook right now.”

For another 17 White St. resident Brad Lindenbaum, the problem is not with the development itself, but with “the utter cynicism” of it.

“The cynicism is in the variances. That a property developer can go out there and pay at least $3 million higher than the next two highest bidders,” he said. “The only reason they did it is they figure they can ramrod this whole process and get every variance possible.”

Campbell reiterated that they have been to several public hearings.

“To imply that we’re doing this cynically is unfounded,” she added.

“Under conservative estimates they are making a preposterous amount of money,” said Lindenbaum.

Michael Ferry, a senior vice president with DDG, said that they have applied to the Dept. of Transportation Plaza program to improve the Barnett Newman Triangle, which is in front of the project on Sixth Ave. The committee passed a resolution that opposed the granting of the variance.

At the C.B. 1’s monthly meeting on Nov. 20, it passed two resolutions, one that opposed DDG’s application and one that approved Trinity Church’s.

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TRANSITSAM Thurs., Dec. 4 – Wed., Dec. 10 ALTERNATE SIDE PARKING RULES ARE SUSPENDED MONDAY FOR IMMACULATE CONCEPTION. Royal gridlock alert! Prince William and Duchess Kate are making their inaugural trip to New York this Sunday. The first stop on the royal itinerary is a visit to the National September 11 Memorial & Museum, so expect gridlock as the couple makes their way to Lower Manhattan. After that, the excitement will be elsewhere in the city, with an excursion to the Nets game Monday and then a gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The royal couple leaves Tuesday, but follow me on Twitter @ GridlockSam for the most up-to-date news.

Holiday season is in full force!

Here’s what you need to know as we head into the merriment: Shopping areas throughout the city will be jammed now through the new year, especially the rows along Broadway from Union Square down to Canal St. This Friday is a gridlock alert day! The remaining official N.Y.C. Gridlock Alert Days for

2014 are Dec.11, 12, 17, 18, and 19.

These are days when the city (and Transit Sam!) advises people to use mass transit as a way to reduce the heavier than usual traffic congestion.

On West St. /Route 9A the southbound left lane will close midnight to 6 a.m. Thursday at the following streets: West Houston, Canal, 14th, and 23rd.

FROM THE MAILBAG: Dear Transit Sam, The snow season is almost here and I’ve been thinking about street cleaning rules during bad weather.

When the streets are covered with snow, the street cleaning machines don’t usually drive by. Are street cleaning rules still in effect when this happens?

close attention to announcements or visit http://www.nyc.gov/html/ dot/html/home/home.shtml to verify because in most cases, only street cleaning rules are suspended.

W hen the weather is ver y severe, you may hear that a “Full Snow Emergency” has been declared. T his means that standing and parking are prohibited on all snow emergency routes, which are desig nated w ith “snow f lake on red” backg round sig ns. If there’s a sig n conf lict (if, for instance, there are also A.S.P. sig ns on the block), the snow emergency rule would take precedence. Let’s cross our fingers for a less snow y

Lisa, SoHo

w inter this time around!

Transit Sam Email your traffic, transit and parking questions to transitsam@ downtownexpress.com. Gridlock Sam’s 2015 Parking Calendar is available online as a free download and through the Gridlock Sam store as a printed copy for $3 shipping and handling ($1 for each additional calendar). To access the download link, follow me on Twitter @ gridlocksam, or subscribe to my newsletter at gridlocksam.com.

IN PRINT OR ONLINE

Dear Lisa, When the city is hit with a snowstorm, the first parking rules to be suspended are sanitation rules (street cleaning/alternate side parking). Some winters can also see meter suspensions as well. Pay very

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December 4-December 17, 2014

13

News Analysis

Seaport tower project goes to next phase Continued from page 1

working group, which they nevertheless continue to praise for improving the plan.

Some of the “goodies” they added — most notably a middle school, 70 units of affordable housing, and a community center — were things the working group never asked for.

David Weinreb, C.E.O. of Hughes Corp., acknowledged that financially, it could be a wash to reduce the height of the building more than the 150 feet they’ve already done.

“We could build a lower building, we have to start taking away benefits,” he said two weeks ago.

Councilmember Margaret Chin, one of the leaders of the Seaport Working Group, said the firm was “adding a lot of benefits to the community. We just wanted revisions to the fundamental tower proposal.”

This week Weinreb didn’t give a full answer as to why his firm — under its own parameters — chose not to come closer to meeting the working group’s goal to eliminate the residential tower.

He did say the affordable housing was added nearby as a nod to Mayor Bill de Blasio’s administration.

“We know that the administration is deeply committed to affordable housing so we left a number to accommodate that request,” Weinreb told

Images courtesy of Howard Hughes Corp.

Rendering of the proposed tower. The dotted line indicates a building that would be permitted under the current zoning.

Downtown Express Monday, immediately after the first meeting of Friends of the Seaport.

An official with the Economic Development Corp., which manages the city-owned Seaport properties, speaking on background, confirmed that there have been active discussions with Hughes about adding affordable

Schematic of the site plan, The proposed tower would be at the New Market Building.

14

December 4-December 17 2014

housing.

During the meeting, Weinreb said Hughes Corp. was “completely ambivalent” about how to allocate its own estimated community investment of $305 million as long as roughly half is spent on the repair and infrastructure work necessary to activate the dormant sites.

“There’s a big bucket of money

that can be spent to make the Seaport community better,” he told the mostly sympathetic crowd.

NEW GROUP The new Seaport Friends group is made up mostly of Lower Manhattan parents who favor the Hughes project. It just formed, surprisingly, with the encouragement of Councilmember Chin after leaders told her they were frustrated with the anti-tower bias at other public meetings.

The founders — Joy Martini, Maria Ho, and Lisa Gorke — are FiDi mothers who argue the project will bring many needed benefits to the area, including resurrecting a decrepit area that otherwise would have no hope to get the necessary funds.

“If we’re going to have a conversation about preservation, please, let’s address the blighted buildings along South St.,” Martini said. “These rundown structures are a menace to growth and an absolute threat to public safety.”

She attacked the comparison to building a tower in Colonial Williamsburg, made frequently by Borough President Gale Brewer.

“Colonial Williamsburg is an attraction, not a community — populated by actors and tourists — not us, not Continued on page 16

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December 4-December 17, 2014

15

News Analysis

Hughes Corp.and opponents start playing ‘hardball’ Continued from page 14

residents,” she said.

Although there has been grumbling that the new group is a creation of the Hughes firm, by all appearances it looks to be a genuine and separate initiative.

That said, Friends of the Seaport’s effort does help Hughes’ desire to go beyond the working group and other tower opponents.

POLL QUESTIONS On Wednesday, Hughes released some of the results of a survey of 405 Lower Manhattan residents. The results showed strong support, 84 percent, for the Hughes plan, but some raised serious questions about the objectivity of the poll, conducted by Global Strategy Group.

Jenifer Rajkumar, a Democratic district leader in Battery Park City, was one of the people who was surveyed Nov. 19, and she said it was clearly a “push poll” intended to get a specific result.

She said the tower was only mentioned in connection with the community benefits and the opponents were described as

Downtown Express photo by Josh Rogers

David Weinreb, Hughes Corp.’s C.E.O.

“a small group of activists.”

When shown some of Rajkumar’s notes on the poll, a Hughes spokesperson said they were “not entirely accurate,” without being any more specific.

According to Hughes, one of the poll’s first questions was: “Do you support or oppose the redevelopment and revitalization of the South Street Seaport area, including redeveloping Pier Seventeen and refurbishing the historic district?”

The question is misleading in at least one sense, since Hughes’ plan to rebuild a new Pier 17 mall building was approved last year, and will presumably continue to proceed even if the current plan to redevelop the New Market Building with the tower and restore the Tin Building is rejected.

The poll was clearly an effort to confirm the corporation’s long-held belief that the number of tower opponents only appears to be large.

“A very vocal minority has been heard for years on this project,” Chris Curry, senior executive vice president of development for Hughes, told Downtown Express back in January, before the working group was formed. “What we haven’t heard from is all of the people who live here, don’t have time to come to neighborhood meetings, that don’t come out to City Council meetings or to Community Board 1 meetings or town hall meetings but still want to give us their input.”

Gregg Pasquarelli, the project’s chief architect, said although the tower is tall, it is also narrow, so it would have far less

visual impact than a squat 350-foot building allowed under the site’s zoning.

That new zoning passed with the support of Chin, who will play a pivotal role in the new plan once the formal land use application is filed, perhaps early next year.

Before that can happen, Hughes will need approval by the city Landmarks Preservation Commission, which won’t begin reviewing the project until January at the earliest.

On Dec. 10, Community Board 1 will consider the landmarks application at a public meeting at St. Paul’s Chapel, 209 Broadway, at 6 p.m.

Chin for now, is opposed to the tower, but she did not repeat her opposition at the Monday meeting, also attended by Weinreb and Pasquarelli, in addition to tower-supporting Downtown parents.

She told the small crowd that she thought a compromise plan was likely down the road.

“We’re not there yet,” she said, “but if we keep on talking and discussing and negotiating... we’ll get there.”

Fighting to make Lower Manhattan the greatest place to live, work, and raise a family.

Assemblyman Shelly Silver If you need assistance, please contact my office at (212) 312-1420 or email silver@ assembly.state.ny.us.

16

December 4-December 17 2014

DowntownExpress.com

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DowntownExpress.com

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SUNDAY, DECEMBER 14, 2pm Scrooge and Marley A staged reading of Israel Horovitz’s adaptation of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.

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December 4-December 17, 2014

17

PUBLISHER

Jennifer Goodstein EDITOR

Josh Rogers REPORTER

Dusica Sue Malesevic ARTS EDITOR

Scott Stiffler SENIOR V.P. OF SALES & MARKETING

Francesco Regini

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

Jack Agliata Allison Greaker Jennifer Holland Julio Tumbaco

ART / PRODUCTION DIRECTOR

Troy Masters

SENIOR DESIGNER

Michael Shirey

GRAPHIC DESIGNER

Andrew Gooss

PHOTOGRAPHERS

Milo Hess Jefferson Siegel PUBLISHER EMERITUS

Time to call PETA?

Downtown Express photo by Tequila Minsky

In what is probably one of the last hurrahs for warm weather, a young man recently enjoys his Cit Bike ride Downtown with a puppy in his arms and his earbuds jammed in.

John W. Sutter

Letters PUBLISHED BY NYC COMMUNITY MEDIA, LLC ONE METROTECH CENTER NEW YORK, NY 11201 PHONE: (212) 229-1890 FAX: (212) 229-2790 WWW.DOWNTOWNEXPRESS.COM NEWS@DOWNTOWNEXPRESS.COM Downtown Express is published every week by NYC Community Media LLC, One Metrotech Center North, 10th Floor, Brooklyn, N.Y. 11201 (212) 229-1890. The entire contents of the newspaper, including advertising, are copyrighted and no part may be reproduced without the express permission of the publisher - © 2014 Community Media LLC. PUBLISHER’S LIABILITY FOR ERROR The Publisher shall not be liable for slight changes or typographical errors that do not lessen the value of an advertisement. The publisher’s liability for other errors or omissions in connection with an advertisement is strictly limited to publication of the advertisement in any subsequent issue.

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December 4-December 17 2014

SEAPORT PL AN To The Editor: Re: “New Tower plan disappoints opponents” (News Article, Nov. 20-Dec. 4): Imagine you are one of the many millions of visitors to New York City and among the unique places you came to visit is the last actual historical Seaport site at South Street where the first settlements and piers grew in the earliest days and now remaining with nineteenth century buildings, multi-use museum, piers, ships, shops, tours, special celebrations.

If the current Howard Hughes Development Corp. controlling lessee (without bidding now for 56 years) is allowed to continue with its recently released plans for the historical district, visitors will experience a modern glass cube upscale mall now replacing Pier 17, a 494 foot mixed-use skyscraper in the river next to it, adjoining that a large, plush movieplex theater, the

Seaport Museum moved from its current immediate viewing historical, activities buildings to another debasing location, basically replacing the old irreplaceable reality with another upscale, riverside expensive mall.

So what do we do when a huge real estate developer is given commercial control for almost nothing (3.50 a foot for priceless land whose market worth is at least hundreds a foot) with no provision to maintain or support it by a billionaire former mayor’s appointee to head the Economic Development Corp. directly responsible who has direct ties with Hughes Corp.?

As a proud people, we know a part of who we are and become is the result of knowing who we were and that is why history is taught and revered everywhere. The people of New York and its government should not allow calculating business interests to destroy the remaining real N.Y.C. historical symbol, the South Street Seaport (as was fought against

and prevented in San Francisco The Hughes Corp. is on the march: One if by land (grabbing), Two if by Seaport (destruction), Three takes it all almost free.

Sy Schleimer

LETTERSPOLICY Downtown Express welcomes letters to The Editor. They must include the writer’s first and last name, a phone number for confirmation purposes only, and any affiliation that relates directly to the letter’s subject matter.

Letters should be less than 300 words.

Downtown Express reserves the right to edit letters for space, clarity, civility or libel reasons. Letters should be emailed to letters@downtownexpress.com or can be mailed to 1 Metrotech Center North, Brooklyn NY11201.

DowntownExpress.com

Talking Point

A truck truth: The alternatives are worse than Canal

BY C ARL ROSENS TEIN Better late than never. It’s taken Councilmember Margaret Chin five years to address Downtown’s worst environmental issue, Canal St., but so much more than the lives of three elderly Chinese residents has been lost in those years — real opportunities for change have been squandered.

In the 1990s, my neighbors and I worked with the Soho Alliance and Councilmember Kathryn Freed to make illegal trucking across Downtown a visible issue. Our vigilance and diligence provided tangible results, reduced trucking, but we were also lucky.

The elephant in the room, as reported in Downtown Express, has always been the one-way Verrazano Bridge toll. As I have written on many occasions, the fault lies with elected Democrats who have blatantly failed their constituents in favor of Republican Staten Islanders.

It began in 1986 when Gov. Mario Cuomo changed the bridge toll in a “study.” A year later the toll was codified into federal highway legislation and to this day remains the only local bridge toll in the U.S.A. to be under the jurisdiction of the federal government.

It will take an act of Congress to reverse the toll back to two-way. This would remove the incentive for drivers heading to New Jersey to utilize the free East River bridges and free outbound tunnel, avoiding the current $15 one-way toll and $80 or more for tractor-trailers.

These crushing tolls are scheduled to rise early next year. Somewhere between 10,000-20,000 extra vehicular trips are made daily across Canal St. to avoid these exorbitant tolls. There is also a huge revenue loss to the M.T.A., well into several hundred million of dollars over the years — every time the toll goes up more drivers avoid the Verrazano and opt for free passage across Downtown. The state or city comptroller should do an audit.

There was a golden moment of opportunity in 2009-2010 when the Democrats controlled both houses of Congress. As I wrote in The Villager two years ago, Congressman Nadler swore to Downtowners for a dozen years that when the Dems controlled Congress he would reverse the toll. We all know what his word is worth.

Sen. Schumer also blatantly lied to the Downtown Independent Democrats when he elicited our support when he ran against Pothole D’Amato, and then after DowntownExpress.com

A sign at the corner of Broome and Lafayette Sts., installed after pressure by Soho activists.

being elected, claimed that restoring the two-way toll would somehow be unfair to Staten Islanders.

At a Community Board 2 hearing in 2010, shortly after Chin assumed power, the Soho Alliance urged her to pressure Nadler to work on the toll while Democrats controlled the House. Our pleas fell on deaf ears and this great window of opportunity slammed shut and will likely remain that way for several more election cycles.

At the time, Chin was devoting all of her energies towards expanding her power and making relationships with big real estate with the creations of the Chinatown and Soho BIDs and the N.Y.U. expansion.

Instead, Councilmember Chin has now called for a safety study on trucks.

Study what? The three recent pedestrian deaths were not by trucks. Trucking is now a minor issue on Canal St. It is nothing like the 1990s when more than 1000 tractor-trailers were traversing Canal St. daily. The Soho Alliance’s concerted efforts during this period led to thousands of summonses and a significant reduction in truck traffic.

The lucky breakthrough was after 9/11, when for security reasons, the Holland Tunnel was completely closed to tractor-trailers, greatly reducing their pres-

ence on Canal. These huge trucks can still be seen coming off the Manhattan and Williamsburg bridges but their numbers have been slashed enormously.

A study is not needed. The notion that the Dept. of Transportation will remove Canal St. from it Thru Truck Route system is pure fantasy. It will never happen, and calling for a study is simply political grandstanding and will accomplish nothing.

Legal trucks belong on Canal St., it is the natural commercial East-West corridor, and unless Robert Moses resurrects himself and his Lower Manhattan Expressway, there is no alternative, certainly not Broome St. What is needed is just some conviction by Chin and our other elected officials to demand dedicated truck enforcement as we once had. With current technology, scanners and scales can be placed at the bridge plazas. This would keep out the most dangerous trucks such as the over-weight and out of control dump truck that slammed into a Fung Wah bus on Canal St. in Chinatown, killing one and injuring 20 shortly before Chin’s first inauguration or the illegal over-length tractor-trailer that killed Jessica Blue crushed two summers ago at the corner of Houston

and 6th Ave. With De Blasio putting Vision Zero high on his agenda now is the time for State Sen. Squadron, Assemblymember Glick, Assembly Speaker Silver, Councilmember Johnson, State Sen. Hoylman and Chin to demand zero tolerance for illegal trucks entering lower Manhattan or city wide for that matter.

As for box trucks and legally sized tractor-trailers, Canal St. is where they belong or on any of the other Thru Truck Routes in the intelligently designed system throughout the 5 boroughs.

Less intelligently-designed is the intersection of West Broadway and Canal, which was second only to Bowery and Canal in accidents. This is the result of boneheaded D.O.T. traffic engineering.

In the 1990s Soho residents pointed out the idiocy of prohibiting traffic exiting the Holland Tunnel from making the natural uptown left turn at Canal onto 6th Ave. Instead drivers are forced into the narrower intersection at West Broadway that results in so many accidents. This pattern sends thousands of thru vehicles up West Broadway daily that all want to be on 6th Ave. Changing this traffic pattern would immediately reduce the hazards at the West Broadway intersection and reduce traffic in Soho. This could be easily realized. It will take political will.

Lastly, overlooked is the controversial plan to toll the East River bridges in what has otherwise been called “Sam’s Plan,” after its principal author, Sam Schwartz.

Leveling out tolls across the region is an interesting suggestion that merits consideration because it certainly would eliminate some of the incentive to travel across Canal, but at the same time it would officially turn Manhattan into a gated community for the privileged. The notion of tolling people to move freely about their own city is truly an onerous idea.

Clearly the easiest things to do are dedicated truck enforcement and the re-engineering of the intersection at Sixth Ave. and Canal. Longer crossing times for pedestrians, especially in Chinatown could be easily done too. Anything else is just posturing. Of course the reversal of the one-way Verrazano Bridge toll would greatly reduce traffic Downtown but the ice caps will melt before that happens.

Carl Rosenstein, a Soho resident, has worked for many years with neighbors and officials on reducing illegal trucking on Broome and Canal Sts. December 4-December 17, 2014

19

Catholic Churches to merge Downtown Continued from page 8

nated the area. Outside, a sign informed worshipers that the church would not conduct afternoon services.

No more than two dozen parishioners were attending morning services in a building that could seat many more among its pews. Nonetheless, the church will continue to host regular Sunday and Saturday Masses and services even as it integrates into the nearby parish of the

basilica of St. Patrick’s Old Cathedral, at 263 Mulberry St. Connie, a parishioner who declined to

America from Naples, Italy.

She said she still hopes that eventually attendance there will turn around, so that

‘Everyone’s learning a new dance.’ give her last name, said she was glad she can still regularly attend Most Precious Blood, which her family has attended since her grandparents immigrated to

this family legacy continues. Everywhere she looks within the church, she said, she sees the places where family members married, got baptized and worshiped

among the faithful as they lived their lives.

Meanwhile, fellow worshipers concede, given the Catholic Church’s struggles in many communities, combining parishes made sense.

“I’m hoping that it will attract more people to one central location to pray and worship,” said Melissa Soto, a Grand St. resident, “and that it will help provide more funds to create a stability within a church community that’s been unstable for so long.”

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December 4-December 17 2014

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DowntownExpress.com

Board says no tolls for East River Bridges Continued from page 10

tion of the resolution regarding “fee discounts where warranted” wasn’t in the first draft but was added in response to concerns about the impact tolls could have on low-income residents.

After the vote, C.B. 3 Chairperson Gigi Li told Downtown Express that “The issue is dead,” she said.

“At this point, C.B. 3 is taking no position on it. If board members want to take the issue up again in a different form it can be discussed.”

Li added that “this was not the first time” that the board has not taken a stand on a “controversial” community issue.

The vote surprised some board members, who said that unless some action is taken soon, in addition to continued traffic tie-ups, the three East River bridges will fall into major disrepair over the next decade.

One Transportation Subcommittee member, who asked to remain anonymous, said that maintenance on bridges, roadways and the mass transit system is currently deficient

due to inadequate funding.

“The bridges will fall down in 10 years if more funding isn’t found,” he said. “We don’t want to wait for that. Someone has to look at the problem. That’s all the resolution was asking. The vote was ridiculous. The proposal simply asked that elected officials look at plans put to-

I’ve spoken to about 20 community boards across the city and I’ve gotten plenty of support from them. I just don’t know about this board.

Maybe they’ll change their mind over the next few months and I’ll have another opportunity to come back.”

Bridge traffic congestion in the

‘I don’t want low-income people in my community having to pay tolls to drive across a bridge.’ gether by qualified people.”

Chinatown and Grand St. area has Jonathan Matz, a representative been a growing problem. Right now, of Move NY who responded to some traffic backs up for several blocks board members’ questions at the on Grand, Clinton and Canal Sts. meeting, said he, too, was disap- during afternoon rush hours. pointed by the board’s action.

In other board business, C.B. 3’s “I wish I had more of an oppor- Executive Committee elected Alysha tunity to address board members’ Lewis-Coleman, a longtime Lower concerns,” he said. “Their proto- East Side resident and tenant leadcol didn’t allow me to do that. But er, to serve as second vice chairT:8.75”

person. Ricky Leung held the post, but resigned from the community board earlier this year. Lewis-Coleman defeated two other candidates, Enrique Cruz and Chad Marlow. A fourth candidate, Ayo Harrington, dropped out before the vote.

NEW LEADERSHIP & SANTACON And in news that drew cheers from many of the nearly 100 local residents who attended the board meeting, C.B. 3 District Manager Susan Stetzer announced that SantaCon would not be partying in the East Village and Lower East Side this year.

There has been a vociferous backlash from residents in C.B. 3 and throughout the city about this annual bar crawl in which thousands of people dress like Santa Claus and elves and generally create drunken havoc.

“The news reports that SantaCon will be back are not true,” Stetzer said. “I’ve been told by the organizers that the C.B. 3 area is not on their route this year.”

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December 4-December 17, 2014

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Activities

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 4 –WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 17 THURSDAY, DECEMBER 4 NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY BATTERY PARK CITY BRANCH 175 North End Ave, 212-790-3499, nypl.org/locations/battery-park-city Baby Laptime for Pre-Walkers: Enjoy simple stories, lively songs and rhymes, and meet other babies in the neighborhood. Limited to 25 babies and their caregivers; first-come first-served.

Ages 0-18 months | Free | 11:30 am EVERY THURSDAY AT 11:30 AM.

HOLIDAY LIGHTS Battery Park City, South Cove, bpcparks. org/event/holiday-lights/ Celebrate the holidays at the Battery Park City Parks Conservancy’s annual tree lighting in South Cove, with caroling by the a capella group, The Accidentals. A jolly guest is expected to visit. Please bring a new, unwrapped gift or clothing for the many children and teens living in N.Y.C. shelters. Gifts will be wrapped and distributed by Stockings with Care.

All ages | Free | 5:30-8:00 pm

All ages | Photo packages start at $20. Free skate rental at The Rink at Brookfield Place with any photo package purchase (Skating: $15) | 9 am – 1:30 pm and 3 – 6 pm

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 6 GINGERBREAD HOUSE DECORATING WORKSHOPS 74 Warren Street, New York NY, churchstreetschool.org, info@churchstreetschool.org Decorate a gingerbread house with family and friends or have one all for yourself.

All ages | $95 per house | Saturdays at 2:15 p.m. & 4 p.m., Sundays at 11 am, 1 pm, & 3 pm on December 6, 7, 13, 14, 20, 21 NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY BATTERY PARK CITY BRANCH 175 North End Ave, 212-790-3499 Toddler Story Time: A librarian shares lively picture books, finger plays, and action songs with toddlers and their caregivers.

Ages 12-36 months | Free | 10:30 a.m.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5 HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE NUTCRACKER BALLET Rebecca Kelly Ballet Studio 579 Broadway, 4B, between Prince and Houston Sts. Sparkling, Short, Sweet — perfect family fare. Rebecca Kelly Ballet dancers perform solos and duets from the classic holiday ballet. Each 45-minute program includes a reception with the artists and a “Tray of Sweets.” R.S.V.P. required: 212-431-8489.

Ages 4+ | $35 (in advance) $40 (at door) for adults; free for one child ages 4-7 with every paying adult | 7 pm SANTA’S WINTER GARDEN Brookfield Place Winter Garden, 220 Vesey Street, brookfieldplaceny.com Visit Santa, his reindeer, and some lively elves in the festively decorated Winter Garden. Holiday photos with Saint Nick. Join at 2 p.m. on Saturday and Sunday for a free family dance lesson with the experts at Dancing Classrooms.

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December 4-December 17 2014

FAMILY TABLE TENNIS & PING PONG Two Bridges Community Center, 286 South Street, ymcanyc.org/chinatown Every Saturday have fun playing Table Tennis with your kids and other families.

This is a FREE Cornerstone Program Funded by the NYC Department of Youth & Community Development.

Ages: 6 & up | Free | 11 am - 1pm IMAGINATION ISLANDS: A MAPMAKING WORKSHOP Poet’s House, 10 River Terrace, mike@ poetshouse.org Mystical beasts, magical forests, lost treasure and more can be found in this island map-making workshop. Children will create their own maps with poetic descriptions of distant unexplored islands for those daring enough to venture there. Led by Poets House children’s room director Mike Romanos.

Ages: 1-10 | $5 suggested donation | 11 am

WASHINGTON MARKET PARK CHRISTMAS PARTY Washington Market Park, Chambers St. between Greenwich St. and West St. Santa is the guest of honor at the annual Christmas party. Riding to the park in style – sometimes by pedicab, sometimes peddled by an oversized elf in an Adeline Adeline bike – Santa takes requests from children on his throne at the gazebo.

Consider supporting a local children’s organization (to be named) and bring an unwrapped gift.

All ages | Free | 2 - 3:00pm (Rain date: 12/7) SANTA’S WINTER WORKSHOP Conrad New York, 102 North End Avenue, conradnewyork.com/ Conrad New York and Children’s Museum of the Arts New York will host the second-annual Santa’s Winter Workshop at the hotel. The afternoon will feature a variety of activities for the entire family to enjoy including: Pictures with Santa and ornament decorating, Mr. Snowman hot chocolate bar where guests can create their own hot chocolate using fun topping like candy canes, crystallized ginger, crushed ginger bread crumbs and more, and tea sandwiches, cookies and holiday treats.

All ages | $30 for children and $15 for adults | 2:30 pm - 4:30 pm HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE NUTCRACKER BALLET Rebecca Kelly Ballet Studio 579 Broadway, 4B, between Prince and Houston See 12/5 for info on Sat. Dec 6 the show is at 4 pm

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 7 NEW YORK CITY FIRE MUSEUM SANTA RESCUE HOLIDAY EVENT New York City Fire Museum, 278 Spring Street, 212-691-1303, nycfiremuseum.org An F.D.N.Y. ladder truck will bravely rescue Santa from his perilous perch on top of the New York City Fire Museum. Once safely inside, Santa will take gift requests and pose for photos until 2 pm. Tickets can be purchased online or by phone 212691-1303.

All ages | Viewing the rescue is free. To sit with Santa: $8 for adults, $5 for children | 11:30 am BLOCK PARTY! LINOLEUM BLOCK PRINTING WORKSHOP Seaport Museum, 209 Water Street, Dive into block printing and create your own unique keepsake with Bowne Printers in this 3-hour workshop. Arrive

with a couple ideas for images and learn how to transfer and carve your design into linoleum.. All materials supplied. Tickets: www.southstreetseaportmuseum.org/tickets Registration required.

Ages 12+ | $40 members, $50 nonmembers | 2-5 pm FIDI FAMILIES CHARACTER SKATE The Seaport Ice Rink, southstreetseaport.com/events/ Families are invited for a morning of funfilled activities and excitement, as part of the Seaport’s Character Skate program.

Featuring a different character each week, guests can skate alongside their favorite costumed actor, enjoy story time and receive giveaways.

All ages | Free |10 am-12 pm EVERY SUNDAY IN DECEMBER

GINGERBREAD HOUSE DECORATING WORKSHOPS 74 Warren Street, New York NY, churchstreetschool.org/gingerbread-2014/ See 12/6 for info SILHOUETTE ARTIST Torly Kid, 51 Hudson St, torly@torlykid.com Torly Kid will be hosting silhouette artist, Erik Johnson. Erik hand cuts each silhouette by just looking at the subject’s profile.

When he’s done you’ll have a keepsake silhouette of you, your child, significant other, etc.

All ages | $30 each | 11 am – 3 pm

MONDAY, DECEMBER 8 NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY BATTERY PARK CITY BRANCH 175 North End Ave, 212-790-3499, nypl. org/locations/battery-park-city Baby Laptime for Pre-Walkers: Enjoy simple stories, lively songs and rhymes, and meet other babies in the neighborhood. Limited to 25 babies and their caregivers; first-come first-served.

Ages 0-18 months | Free | 9:30 a.m.

Toddler Story Time: A librarian shares lively picture books, finger plays, and action songs with toddlers and their caregivers.

Ages 12-36 months | Free | 4 p.m.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 9 NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY BATTERY PARK CITY BRANCH 175 North End Ave, 212-790-3499, nypl. org/locations/battery-park-city Baby Laptime for Pre-Walkers: Enjoy simple stories, lively songs and rhymes, and meet other babies in the neighborhood. Limited to 25 babies and their DowntownExpress.com

caregivers; first-come first-served.

Ages 0-18 months | Free |11:30 am EVERY TUESDAY AT 11:30 A.M.

Picture book time: A librarian will share classic picture books and new stories.

All ages | Free | 4:00 pm

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 10 NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY BATTERY PARK CITY BRANCH 175 North End Ave, 212-790-3499, nypl.org/locations/battery-park-city Toddler Story Time: A librarian will share lively picture books, finger plays, and action songs with toddlers and their caregivers.

Ages 12-36 months | Free | 10:30 am EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 10:30 AM

Bilingual Birdies Mandarin: Mandarin musicians teach theme-related vocabulary through live music, dance, and engaging puppetry. All ages | Free | 4 pm

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 11 NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY BATTERY PARK CITY BRANCH Family Science Project: CSI: Learn how

to dust for finger prints at a crime scene and classify the finger prints you collect on your personal detective card to take home.

Ages 5-12 years | Free |4:00 p.m.

THE NUTCRACKER Michael Schimmel Center for the ArtsPace University 3 Spruce Street, Celebrate the season with the Gelsey Kirkland Academy’s presentation of “The Nutcracker”, a holiday ballet for the whole family.

All ages | $39-$59 | 7:30 pm

event held in an outdoor heated Yuletide Tent. There will be Chinatown Dragons & Lions and Christmas Carolers and a special appearance by Santa Claus. Bring an unwrapped toy.

All Ages | Free | 1 pm – 6 pm WINTER WONDERLAND WORKSHOP 6 River Terrace, registration@bpcparks. org Make nature-inspired ornaments.

Ages 5+ | $15 | 11 am – 1 pm

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 13

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 14

BREAKFAST WITH SANTA ZEPHYR CRUISE Pier 16, South Street Seaport, 89 South Street, nywatertaxi.com/tours/breakfast-with-santa The Grinch from “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas! Musical” will be making a special appearance for story time.

Ages: 3-12 | $35 Child, $45 Adult | 9 am

FOURTH ANNUAL HOLIDAY SING-A-LONG W/ DAN ZANES & FRIENDS City Winery, 155 Varick Street, citywinery.com/newyork/tickets/danzanes121414.html Dan Zanes and Friends perform exuberant, handmade 21st Century social music for enthusiastic crowds of kids and kid sympathizers. Hear sea shanties, English music hall, North American and West Indian folk music, Mexican son jarocho, the spirit of early rock-and-roll and soulful originals collide.

All ages | $20 | 11 am – 1 pm

EAST MEETS WEST CHRISTMAS CELEBRATION 114 Mulberry Street Little Italy & Chinatown are coming together for a free all day party, holiday

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 16 HANNUKKAH LIGHTS Battery Park City, South Cove, bpcparks.org/event/holiday-lights/ The menorah takes center stage at sundown at South Cove as it is lit for the first time this holiday season.

All ages | Free | 5 pm

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 17 NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY BATTERY PARK CITY BRANCH Toddler Story Time and Bilingual Birdies Mandarin: See 12/10 for info DROP-IN STORY TIME The Museum of Jewish Heritage, 36 Battery Place, The Museum of Jewish Heritage – A Living Memorial to the Holocaust and PJ Library will present Story Time, a free, drop-in story hour series. They will present warm, whimsical, and wonderful tales and songs about traditions, holidays, and families. While enjoying a snack and juice, children will listen to a professional storyteller read from some of the most beloved books selected by PJ Library.

Ages 0-4 | Free| 3:30 pm - 4:15 pm

THE DOWNTOWN SOCCER LEAGUE WISHES TO THANK ITS SPONSORS FOR A GREAT 2014 SEASON OF FUN Alliance for Downtown • Alternative Asset Managers • ARC Athletics Tribeca • Arsenal New York • Ash + Ames • Battery Park City Conservancy • Battery Park City Day Nursery • Battery Park Orthodontics • Battery Park Pediatric Dentist • Bazzini • Bialosky + Partners Architects • Bikram Yoga NYC • Blue Zees Real Estate • Boomerang Toys • Bronsky Orthodontics NYC • Bubby’s • Chambers Street Orthodontics • Chambers Street Wines • Church Street School for Music and Art • City-1 Maintenance, Inc. • DayPlanIt.com • Dos Toros Taqueria • Douglas Elliman – Demetri Ganiaris • Downtown Dance Factory • Downtown Express • Downtown Pediatrics • Dr. Ruby Gelman • Duane Park Patisserie • EBOOST • English Train of Thoughts • Epiq Systems • Financier Patisserie • Frankly Wines • Franco Family Foundation • Gee Whiz Diner • Gigino Trattoria & Take Away • Gulp Pictures • Heard the World Fund • House Systems • Jennifer Fisher Jewelry • Lambert & Co. – Dr. Nicole Lambert • Lance Lappin Salon Tribeca • The Lindbaek Family • Made Fresh Daily • Manhattan Wine Company • Manhattan Youth Downtown Community Center • MaxDelivery.com • McGinley Design • Metroloft • Modell’s Sporting Goods • Mother New York • MyloWrites • NY Vision Group • Of A Revolution • Parm • Poets House • Pro-Tech 8 • Quontic Bank • Ramos-Thomas Family • Raven Capital • Reade Street Pub • Ready Heat • Reitdesign • Sean Turner Marketing • Shake Shack •Sherman Orthodontics • SHoP Architects • Slate • SoulCycle • SRA Home • Stribling Real Estate • TAL International • Tavros • TestingMom.com • The Goatsingers • The Palm Restaurant — Tribeca • The Solaire • The Verdesian • Tribeca Associates • Tribeca Tribune • Turner Destruction • Vintry Fine Wines • Walker Zanger • William Rogers Architects • Wine Symphony, Inc. • Zucker’s Bagels and Smoked Fish

DowntownExpress.com

December 4-December 17, 2014

23

HoHo,Let’sGo Yourholidayartsguide

Courtesy of DZB Productions

Photo by Ryan Muir

“Prince of Kosher Gospel Music” Joshua Nelson performs at the Museum of Jewish Heritage on Dec. 25.

The 10-story light installation “Metamorphosis” shines over the Hudson River, and provides a backdrop for many of the holiday events at Brookfield Place.

BY SCOTT STIFFLER

their new release, “Good Egg.” On Dec. 25, Joshua Nelson brings his Kosher Gospel Choir to the Museum for two concerts. Known for his fusion of Hebrew tunes and gospel style, the African-American “Prince of Gospel Music” will perform “Lecha Dodi,” “Adon Olam,” “Mi Chamocha,” “Ein Keloheinu” and “Eli, Eli,” among others.

“Menorah Madness” takes place on Sun., Dec. 14, 1-4:30 p.m. (crafts 1-4, tour at 1:30, concert at 2).

Tickets: $10, $7 for children 10 and under. Museum members: $7 and bring up to 3 children for free ($5 for each additional child). Joshua Nelson performs at 1 & 3:30 p.m. on Thurs., Dec. 25. Tickets are $35 for adults, $25 for students and seniors, and $20 for members. At The Museum of Jewish Heritage (Edmond J. Safra Plaza, 36 Battery Place). To order, call 646-437-4202 or visit mjhnyc. org.

HOLIDAY EVENTS AT BROOKFIELD PLACE Winter Garden’s 10-story barrel-vaulted glass roof sparkles and shines with an intensity that increases throughout December, as the mirrored and jeweled discs embedded in veteran theater designer Anne Militello’s “Metamorphosis” light instillation provides a dramatic backdrop to a series of free holiday events at Brookfield Place. Santa’s Winter Garden returns on the weekend of Dec. 5-7, offering photo ops with the jolly old fellow (for kids, of course, but adults are welcome to snap a selfie). Free 12:30 p.m. concerts on Dec. 11 & 14 feature jazz and blues vocalist Catherine Russell and the National Yiddish Theatre, respectively. The Grammy Award-winning Russell will put a swing spin on classics from the American songbook, while the Yiddish Theatre’s “Songs of Chanukah” will celebrate the Festival of Lights with traditional holiday melodies and hot Klezmer music.

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December 4-December 17 2014

Free. Through Dec. 31, at Winter Garden and Waterfront Plaza at Brookfield Place (220 Vesey St., at West St.). For info: brookfieldplaceny. com/arts-events.

MENORAH MADNESS AND JOSHUA NELSON AT THE MUSEUM OF JEWISH HERITAGE Kiddie rockers Joanie Leeds and the Nightlights are the marquee entertainment, when the Museum of Jewish Heritage hosts “Menorah Madness.” Geared toward children ages 3 to 10, the afternoon offers crafts and a mini-tour of the galleries (free with your concert ticket). After years on the NYC alt music scene (with gigs at The Bitter End, The Living Room, Arlene’s Grocery and CBGB’s), singer/songwriter Leeds shifted her focus to children’s music — and the little ones gobbled up CDs such as “Challah, Challah” and “City Kid.” Even parents have been known to request repeat listens! Hearing is believing, though, so catch Leeds and her Nightlights perform songs from

WINTER WEDDING: HOLIDAY CARDS BY POETS At your wits end when it comes to

finding the right thing to say inside all of those holiday cards you’ll be mailing or including with gifts? This exhibition of correspondence by famous poets is a great source of inspiration — or, in desperate circumstances, outright theft. A great poet in his own right, Robert Duncan chose the latter option, by transcribing Rainer Maria Rilke’s “The Child.” He kept the universe in balance, though, by sending it in a card designed by his artist partner, Jess. On view through March 21, “Winter Wedding” features holiday cards, valentines, birthday greetings, annual original compositions and more, from some of the last century’s most beloved poets — including Langston Hughes, Robert Frost, Alice Notley, Ted Berrigan, Seamus Heaney and Marianne Moore.

Free. Through March 21, 2015, at Poets House (10 River Terrace, in Battery Park City). Hours: Tues.–Fri., 11 a.m.-7 p.m. and Sat., 11 a.m.–6 p.m. For info, call 212-431-7920 or visit poetshouse.org.

Continued on page 25

DowntownExpress.com

Yule Be Swell! Yule Be Great!

Courtesy of the ARChive of Contemporary Music

Cheaper than downloading: ARChive of Contemporary Music’s Holiday Record + CD Sale happens Dec. 13-21.

Continued from page 24

Courtesy of Raymond Danowski Poetry Library, MARBL, Emory University

From 1965: a Rilke poem transcribed by Robert Duncan, alongside the card’s exterior (designed by Duncan’s partner, Jess).

See this and more inspirational holiday correspondence, at Poets House.

ARC’S HOLIDAY RECORD + CD SALE When the wrapping paper comes off, the beat goes on — but first, you need to scope out the ARChive of Contemporary Music’s 30,000+ collection of CDs, LPs, books, videos, DVDs, music magazines, audio equipment and vintage psychedelic posters. There, you’ll find the perfect gift for every jazz, folk, funk, punk, pop, classical, world music and rock fanatic on your list (without having to decimate your piggy bank). This annual sale benefits the non-profit archive, library and research center’s mission to collect, preserve and provide information on popular music from 1950 to the present. Most of the items are donated by record companies and private collectors, and all are skip, scratch and warp-free.

With hundreds of CDs at $1 and new items starting at $5, you can walk away with a tactile gesture of holiday cheer that’s cheaper than downloading.

Need a gift for somebody who doesn’t like music? You’re still in the right place! Peruse the Astroturf Yard Sale for vintage kitchenwares and clothing.

Join ARC as a member, and you’ll get an invite to their Dec. 11 cocktail party (with food, booze, schmoozing and first dibs on everything up for grabs when the sale starts two days later).

The sale happens from Dec. 13-21, daily. Hours: 11 a.m.–6 p.m. At the ARChive of Contemporary Music (54 White St., 3 blocks south of Canal St., btw. Broadway & Church Sts.). Call 212-226-6967 or visit arcmusic.org.

DowntownExpress.com

Photo by Ken Howard

The Rob Susman Brass Quartet, and free songbooks, will make the season merry and bright (Dec. 10 & 24 at the Washington Square Park Arch).

WASHINGTON SQUARE PARK CAROLING There are, of course, other trees in town this time of year — but our favorite is the 45-footer artfully framed by the Washington Square Park Arch. Tastefully (never overly) decorated, you’ll find no pricey skating rink standing between you and the photo op that’s served as more than one true New Yorker’s holiday

greeting card. It’s enough to make even the most grizzled Grinch break out into song — and The Washington Square Association will help make that happen, by handing out complimentary songbooks and providing accompaniment from the Rob Susman Brass Quartet. The tree’s lights will be turned on for the first time this season on Dec. 6, when the very busy Santa Claus appears to lead the traditional illumination countdown. Then,

Yuletide carols will be sung by an informally convened choir — dressed up like Eskimos if weather permits.

The festivities repeat on Dec. 24.

Free. Wed., Dec. 10 at 6 p.m. and Wed., Dec. 24 at 5 p.m. At the Washington Square Park Arch (at the foot of Fifth Ave., one block south of Eighth St.). The tree is lit from 4 p.m.–1 a.m. daily, through the season.

For info, call 212-252-3621 or visit washingtonsquarenyc.org.

December 4-December 17, 2014

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Ho, Ho, Ho and Ha, Ha, Ha Holidayshowswiththegiftofhumor A MURRAY LITTLE CHRISTMAS It’s not quite the same as being eternally young, but classy impresario Murray Hill has been living up to his “hardest working middle-aged man in show business” moniker for two decades now, even going back before the iconic drag king’s 1996 mayoral bid. What a different town this would be had he won! Fortunately, there’s no need to indulge in “It’s a Wonderful Life”-type speculation. For one show only, the naughty times are back — and even Santa must think that’s nice, considering the fact that he’s been booked for the gig.

Full of more burlesque royalty than you can shake a tassel at, “A Murray Little Christmas” finds the affable Mr. Hill hosting a recreation of his infamous bachelor pad holiday cocktail parties — where the only thing blue about Christmas is the humor. So kick back, down a highball and enjoy Murray’s road tested roster of seasonal skits, cheesy songs and the kind of dazzling production numbers that come from another era (back when people actually rehearsed for these things!).

Guests include burlesque sensations Trixie Little, Perle Noire and Mr. Gorgeous, carnal chanteuse Bridget Everett and Carmine Covelli (a.k.a Sebastian The Elf) — plus swinging backup from The Craig’s List Quartet.

Rudolph and the aforementioned Mr. Claus will appear, but they’ll have a hard time upstaging Murray’s traditional (and potentially traumatizing) appearance as The Little Drummer Boy. This non-returnable gift of unfettered jubilation is not for young eyes or prudish ears. As Murray says, “All denominations, orientations and sexual proclivities will be celebrated!”

Sat., Dec. 17 at 7:30 p.m. At (Le) Poisson Rouge (158 Bleecker St. btw. Sullivan & Thompson Sts.).

Tickets: $20 standing, $25 seated. Reserved front VIP seating, $55. Reservations at lespoissonrouge.com.

Info: 212-505-3474. Visit Murray at mistershowbiz. com. Twitter & Instagram: @Murray_Hill.

MINK STOLE: OMG! IT’S CHRISTMAS! Few in this town can honestly claim to have been good all year long — so it’s best not to question why Santa has gifted us with shows starring Mink Stole two years in a row. After turning in a wonderfully vulnerable and understated performance in the New Ohio Theatre’s 2013 revival of Tennessee Williams’ “The Mutilated,” the Baltimore native and John Waters muse is returning to NYC, this time with a show of her own creation. Filled with celebratory music and revelatory anecdotes from Christmases long, long ago, “OMG!”

promises to expose fans to hidden dimensions of the underground legend’s range (vocal and otherwise).

Accompanied by a trio of longtime collaborators dubbed Her Wonderful Band, songs include “Stay a Little Longer Santa,” a French version of “The Little Drummer Boy” and a sing-along to “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” Next year, look for her back on the screen, in “Sweet Charlotte.” Directed by Billy Clift, it’s a drag parody of the Bette Davis thriller from 1964 — two years before Stole would begin her own stellar career of cinematic atrocities, with an appearance in John Waters’ “Roman Candles.”

Thurs.–Sun., Dec. 11–14 at 8:30 p.m. At The Laurie Beechman Theatre (407 W. 42nd St., at Ninth Ave).

Tickets: $25 ($40 VIP gets you preferred seating and backstage meet and greet). Reservations: 212-352-3101 or SpinCycleNYC.com. Visit minkstole.com.

Photo by Orlanda Marra

“A Murray Little Christmas” has the middle-aged showbiz schmoozer hosting a highball-friendly evening of bawdy entertainment. Dec. 13.

NOT THE MESSIAH (He’s a Very Naughty Boy) He co-founded Monty Python, he created “The Rutles” and he blogged as recently as last week — but all of this creative output was just mere practice, practice, practice for Eric Idle’s Dec. 15 & 16 gigs at Carnegie Hall. There, the man who wrote the book and lyrics for the long-running Broadway hit “Spamalot” will shepherd another Monty Python film to the stage — with assistance from Victoria Clark, Marc Kudisch, Lauren Worsham, William Ferguson, conductor/director Ted Sperling, the Collegiate Chorale and the Orchestra of St. Luke’s.

Created in 2007 with longtime musical collaborator John Du Prez, this comic oratorio is based on the 1979 film, “Life of Brian” — Monty Python’s exceedingly sharp satire of mistaken identity and deification. “Not The Messiah (He’s a Very Naughty Boy)” incorporates elements of pop, country, Broadway, doo-wop, hip-hop, and Greek chorus. It also includes an audience participation version of “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.” Sung during the crucifixion scene toward the end of “Life of Brian,” the Idle-penned tune was recently cited as Britain’s most popular funeral hymn.

Mon. & Tues., Dec. 15 & 16 at 8 p.m. At Carnegie Hall (Seventh Ave. at 57th St.). For tickets ($30), call 212-247-7800 or visit carnegiehall.org. For more info on the artists: EricIdle.com, collegiatechorale.org and OSLmusic.org.

Courtesy of the artist

A touch of Mink: Baltimore’s Stole brings her own brand of holiday spirit to NYC, Dec. 11–14.

—Scott Stif fler

Courtesy of the artists

He may not be the Messiah, but Eric Idle excels at adapting very naughty Monty Python films for the stage. His “Life of Brian”-based oratorio plays Carnegie Hall on Dec. 15 & 16.

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December 4-December 17 2014

DowntownExpress.com

DowntownExpress.com

December 4-December 17, 2014

27

gristedes

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supermarkets 71 south end ave & battery park • 212–233–7770 hours: monday–saturday 7am–11pm; sunday 8am–10pm

our grand opening continues come in and see the difference!

the following gristedes stores joining in the celebration: 315 south end avenue & battery park • 90 maiden lane

Aged 24 Months

Reggiano Parmesan Cheese

12 3 $ 99 $ 99 4 8 $ 99 $ 99 2 Clementines 6 $ 49 $ 99 1 5 $ 99 $ 99 2 1 $ $ 99 4/ 3 4

$ 99

Fully Cooked • 35 oz.

Whole Rotisserie Chicken

Sun Ripe • 12 oz.

Grape Tomatoes Fresh • Grade A

Whole Chicken Regular or Unbleached 5 lb. Bag

ShopRite Flour

Assorted Var. • 16 oz.

Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream

Plain or Smoked • 8 oz.

lb.

BelGioioso Mozzarella Ball

Ea.

Dietz & Watson London Broil Roast Beef

$ 49 Chavrie Goat Ea.

lb.

3 lb. Bag

Ea.

Ea.

Assorted Var. • 12 oz.

lb.

Al Fresco Chicken Sausage

Ea.

64 oz.

Ea.

Mott’s Apple Juice Assorted Var. • 6 oz.

Ea.

YoCrunch Yogurt

Log (4 oz.) or Pyramid (5.3 oz.)

Ea.

Cheese

Imported

Cour Royale 60% Brie

Loose

Idaho Potatoes

2 $ 99 8 ¢ 99 $ 99 8 $ 99 4 $ 99 2 $ 99

Ea.

lb.

lb.

Fresh Never Frozen • Premium Quality Atlantic • Farm Raised

Salmon Fillet

Assorted Var. • 30 oz.

Hellmann’s Mayonnaise 12 oz.

Velveeta Cheese Slices

lb.

Ea.

Ea.

Prices Effective 12/5/14 to 12/17/14 at the following GRISTEDES locations: 71 South End Avenue • 315 South End Aveune • 90 Maiden Lane

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December 4-December 17 2014

DowntownExpress.com