Xpress: December 2012

XPRESS GUIDE TO DINING OUT • HEALD: THE LEBANESE CUISINE AT PHOENICIA 12/12

PRESS

THE INTERVIEW:

COVEY

2012 POLITICAL LOSS DOESN'T DETER THIS LONG-TIME ACTIVIST

YOUNG, GAY & HOMELESS

RUTH ELLIS CENTER PROVIDES SAFETY NET

ADOPTION: ONE MORE HURDLE SAME-SEX COUPLES FACING CHALLENGES

XPRESSMI.COM

THE BEST VISION STARTS WITH THE BEST EYE EXAM At Shades we use the most advanced prescription lenses and contacts available, but we also know our products are only as good as the perfect prescription. And that’s where our expertise sets us apart.

EYE EXAMS & ADVANCED CONTACT LENS FITTINGS CALL TODAY TO SCHEDULE YOUR EYE EXAM WITH DR. BILL KOPPIN.

SEE FOR YOURSELF WHAT PERFECT VISION LOOKS LIKE. SHADESOPTICAL.COM 193 West Maple Downtown Birmingham (248) 645-0075

M W F | 10-6 T Th | 10-8 Sat | 10-5 Sun | Closed

400 south main street

1-888-582-9344

royal oak

mi

w w w. m e ta l s i n t i m e . c o m

DECEMBER 2012 8 Letter to our Friends Publisher's notes on a new feature of the magazine, Commitments, and how some ads lead to the continued sexualization of the LGBT community image.

10 Young, gay and homeless The Ruth Ellis Center in Highland Park addresses the problem of homeless youths—literally “meeting them where they're at.”

19 Golden years as Rainbow tsunami Gay boomers are now facing questions about the safest places to spend their elder years and who is addressing this question in this state.

24 Saga of same-sex adoption Michigan same-sex couples face added hurdles and challenges in the quest to begin parenting by adopting children.

34 The Interview: Craig Covey Long-time activist, former Ferndale Mayor and outgoing Oakland County Board of Commissioner Craig Covey talks about how politics are an essential part of his makeup.

10

19

34

40 Compendium A collection of LGBT news notes from around the country.

43 Dining Out directory A guide to selective restaurants in the tri-county area.

47 At The Table Phoenicia proprietor/chef Sameer Eid, considered the dean of Lebanese cuisine, remodels the surroundings but keeps tradition of quality.

50 Views from inside Reaffirming, once again, the political agenda for the LGBT community in Michigan.

FACES 17 Hank Winchester 23 Allison Korotkin 33 Tim Larrabee 39 Rick Henning Cover photo by Laurie Tennent

PUBLISHER David Hohendorf E: DavidHohendorf@DowntownPublications.com O: 248.792.6464 ext. 800 C: 248.736.7047

AD MANAGER Jill Cesarz E: JillCesarz@DowntownPublications.com O: 248.792.6464 ext. 600 C: 248.860.8414

SALES STAFF Leo Calhoun E: LeoCalhoun@DowntownPublications.com O: 248.792.6464 ext. 601 C: 206.290.9106

NEWS EDITOR Lisa Brody E: LisaBrody@DowntownPublications.com O: 248.792.6464 ext. 700

NEWS STAFF/CONTRIBUTORS Allison Batdorff, Hayley Beitman, Hillary Brody, Eleanor & Ray Heald, Austen Hohendorf, Garrett Hohendorf, Laurie Tennent (Laurie Tennent Studio), Dawn Wolfe

EDITORIAL ADVISORY BOARD Ann Burns, Sara Celina, Michael Collins, Harris VanCleef, Amy Weber, David Zawicki

GRAPHICS/IT MANAGER Chris Grammer

Xpress is a member of Downtown Publications 124 West Maple Road Birmingham MI 48009 P: 248.792.6464 Downtown Publications include Downtown Birmingham/Bloomfield Black Book of Non-Profits The Guide • Xpress

PRESS

SOCIAL MEDIA xpressmi.com facebook.com/xpressmichigan twitter.com/xpressmichigan The contents of Xpress are copyright protected. Reproduction requires permission of the publisher.

DISTRIBUTION: 20,000 copies of Xpress are distributed free at over 300 high foot-traffic locations throughout portions of Oakland, Macomb, Wayne counties each month.

SUBSCRIPTIONS: Paid mail subscriptions are available for a $12 annual fee. For paid mail subscriptions, go to our website (xpressmi.com) and click “subscriptions” on the home page and place your order online or scan the QR code here.

VIEWS FROM OUTSIDE: We welcome your feedback on both Xpress and general issues of concern in the LGBT community. The traditional “letters to the editor” in Xpress are published in our Views from outside section and can include letters received via e-mail to: XpressLetters@DowntownPublications.com or mailed to Downtown Publications, 124 West Maple Road, Birmingham MI 48009. Letters must include your full name, address and daytime phone number for verification.

LETTER TO OUR FRIENDS

Effective with the January issue of Xpress, we will be adding a new feature to our newsmagazine, which we think will prove popular with the LGBT community.

Our new monthly feature is called Commitments. As the name implies, this section of Xpress allows members of the community to share the news about either a same-sex marriage, civil union or a commitment ceremony, much in the tradition of print publications that publish similar announcements of marriages between those of the opposite sex.

There are only a few publications in the country, like the New York Times, that devote any space to same-sex commitment celebrations. While guests at a commitment ceremony share in the excitement of the event, there is no public announcement to share with a broader audience what is perhaps is one of the most joyful milestones in one's life, straight or gay.

To make the process of submitting information on commitment ceremonies much easier, we have created an online form at our website (xpressmi.com) that allows couples to provide the necessary information for our staff to write a short feature on the special occasion.

Additionally, our website’s Commitments area gives you the opportunity to upload a color photo(s) from the event. You will find the commitment form by going to the Commitments area in the index on our home page.

We will publish Commitments in both the printed Xpress each month as well as on the website. Our only guideline on any announcement of a commitment ceremony is that it be submitted within three months of the actual event.

On the topic of guidelines, we received some interesting response from potential advertising accounts to our rules governing ads that appear in Xpress, announced in our premier issue.

As we explained in the November issue, we are attempting to develop a more upscale publication with Xpress, one devoted to addressing in long-form journalism style the serious issues facing the LGBT community while at the same celebrating the accomplishments of those within the community.

To that end, we have developed a set of guidelines or policy that basically says readers will not find the XXX pornographic video store ads, nor the phone sex and hook-up ads and sex toy promotions often found in other print products.

We think allowing overly salacious or lewd ads continue to stigmatize members of the LGBT community. For those outside the community, these ads only serve to reaffirm long-held beliefs that sex is the only driving force, and the normalcy of life and accomplishments of the LGBT community get lost in the shuffle.

While we would certainly appreciate the added revenue, we have turned down several advertisers in recent weeks who we feel would not fit with the image we are trying to project with Xpress newsmagazine. Our current ally business supporters and those planning on coming on board in the next year have basically voted with their ad dollars in favor of our approach.

As always, I welcome your feedback.

David Hohendorf Publisher DavidHohendorf@downtownpublications.com

Birmingham FootCare Specialists Physicians and Surgeons of the Foot your complete foot care facility ingrown and fungus nails TOPAZ and PRP Injections preventative foot care out-patient surgery diabetic foot care diabetic shoes heel pain warts

600 N. Old Woodward Ave. Suite 202, Birmingham, MI CALL

248-594-3338

Same Day Appointments Available

Peter E. Schaffer, D.P.M. Diplomate American Board of Podiatric Surgery

DMC Physician Most medical insurance accepted

YOUNG, GAY & HOMELESS RUTH ELLIS CENTER PROVIDES SAFETY NET FOR YOUTHS JUST THROWN AWAY

BY ALLISON BATDORFF

G

arbage swirls up in the wind, the only thing moving on a wide street that’s way too quiet considering it's a block off Detroit’s Woodward Avenue. Here, gravity wins, sliding brick buildings into various stages of rubble. Intact windows are virtually nonexistent. The road is pockmarked with moon surface craters, a flat tire waiting to happen.

This building – the one with the Old English ‘D’ on a rainbow backdrop - is a part of “meeting them where they’re at.” “They,” being Detroit’s young, lesbian, gay, bi-attractional, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) population - the focal point of the Ruth Ellis Center in Highland Park.

One buzzer and the world inside couldn’t be more different than the street. It’s a warm riot of life here, with kids – well, technically “youth” – hollering, singing, and joking with buddies and staff.

They’re trying on clothes from the closet, making food in the kitchen, checking their email, doing their thing.

You can get regular drop-in center services here – GED classes, job assistance, snacks, food, toothbrushes, HIV testing – but you can also find out about hormone therapy at Transgender Gurl Talk, or attend support groups with names like Lez be Honest (for lesbians), or Out, Proud and Professional and “What’s a T-thing?” for gay men.

Providing a place where people can be exactly who they are is what makes Ruth Ellis unique, and it's the only place like it in the Midwest, says Mark Erwin, Ruth Ellis Director of Programs.

“There’s no judgment here. No uniforms,” says Erwin, listing off a litany of services offered to their clients: food, clothing, toothbrushes, HIV testing, safe sex kits, support groups, and activities tailored to the needs of LGBTQ homeless kids ages 13-24. Most importantly, it’s a break from the street where up to 800 of these kids live every day, Erwin said.

“These young people are just being thrown away,” Erwin said, referring to the 4,500 people who used the center for food, clothing, and showers last year. “Ninety percent of our clients are homeless. Forty percent are HIV positive. They need a place to go.”

A BLINDING PROBLEM Alarm bells started clanging years ago when experts saw a disturbing spike of young people identifying themselves as LGBTQ on the streets.

Nationally, LBGTQ youth account for 20 to 40 percent of roughly 1.7 million kids who spend at least one night on the streets, according to the Homeless Resource Center. The National Alliance to End Homelessness (NAEH) says one in five youth who are homeless self-identify as LGBTQ. This could mean between 115,000 - 640,000 kids nationwide, according to the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. They call it “an epidemic.”

While exact numbers vary, most service providers agree that LGBTQ youth are “overrepresented” on the streets. “It’s a huge issue,” said Melissa Hope, Street Outreach Manager of Common Ground. Kids live in parking garages, parks, downtown areas, all-night restaurants – places where youth fade into the background with the assumption that they’re just “regular kids up to no good,” she said.

“We have blinders on because we don’t want to believe a child would be out on the street at 14, 15 or 16 years-old. We don’t want to believe it, so we don’t see it,” says Hope. “But it’s there.”

She noted it's everywhere, even in upscale Oakland County, where they have had 8,618 contacts this year alone, she says.

“Half of our job is breaking the stigma that Oakland County has no homeless kids,” Hope said. “We have kids from Birmingham, even Bloomfield Hills. Teachers notice a student wearing the same shirt a few days in a row and find out they’ve been kicked out of the house. That kid at the skate park who is still there when every one else is at home? He might be sleeping there.”

Family conflict is the number one reason kids are homeless, edging out, but often related to, economic problems and residential instability. Young people break down into further subgroups: a “hobo corps” who rides trains, busses or hitch around, who don’t go to school and tend to spend the winters in the warm-weather states. Many are foster care runaways or age-outs, Hope said. Then there are the shelter homeless, kids who know and use the services available. “Housies” are kids from stable homes who run with the transients when they’re out of school. The vast majority are fleeing youth in crisis who will eventually return home, or the “where-you-staying-at?” kids who couch-jump from aunt’s, to grandparents, to friends, to neighbors until they run out of couches.

At that point, they can end up with who ever will put them up – not a safe proposition for a young person, says Jessie FullenKamp, program supervisor for Ruth Ellis.

“Your ability to stay there depends on someone else. They could exploit you sexually or monetarily. You are completely vulnerable,” FullenKamp says, adding that domestic violence and rape are all too commonplace. “Violence can become a part of everyday life.”

Abandoned houses aren’t safe either. “People come in here with towels wrapped around their feet to prevent frostbite,” FullenKamp said. “Detroit has its share of economic problems but that is unacceptable.”

COMING OUT, GETTING OUT Anne Dohrenwend remembers every detail about telling her “very Catholic” mother that she was gay – the wallpaper, what they were wearing, everything.

As a PhD and a psychologist in Flint, she knows hyperawareness is common when “coming out” to your parents, as it’s one of the most important moments in your life.

“When gay people talk to each other, that’s one of the first things you talk about – what happened when you came out to your parents,” Dohrenwend said. “It’s an experience we can all relate to.” Her book, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Kids, helps parents and children work through the process.

But kids are coming out earlier than in Dohrenwend’s day.

The Illusions Of:

SEPTEMBER MURPHY DEJA VAN CARTIER NATALIE COLE HERSHAE CHOCOLATAE LEAH HALSTON SIR WALT MICHAEL COLE AURORA SEXTON NATIONAL ENTERTAINER OF THE YEAR 2011

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 1ST 2012 Doors 7pm Showtime 8pm

Hosted At Fifth Avenue In Royal Oak - 215 W 5th Avenue TICKETS SOLD EXCLUSIVELY AT FIVE15 OR ONLINE AT FIVE15.NET

ERIN CUMMINGS A BENEFIT FOR:

REBA MACENTIRE SPONSORED BY:

TINA TURNER

LADY GAGA

CHER

MARY J BLIGE

SEPTEMBER MURPHY

Recent studies put the average age between 16 and 17, Dohrenwend said, calling the trend both a blessing and a curse.

“On the one hand, it’s psychologically more positive because there isn’t as much repression.” Dohrenwend said, comparing it to the “olden days” when an LGBTQ kid might try to conform to or isolate themselves from their community.

Erwin agrees. “Young people today are more exposed, and can put a term to how they’re feeling sooner,” he said.

But there’s a definite downside, as younger children are more dependent on the reactions of those at home, church and school. They’re also often emotionally unprepared for the fallout.

“The research is clear, the earlier a person comes out, the higher (the) risk of suicide they’ll face,” Dohrenwend says. “Younger people just don’t have the experience in dealing with the discrimination and isolation. They also rely on their parents more.”

And not all parents respond well to coming out. The Gay and Lesbian Task Force found that 50 percent of gay teens experience a negative reaction and 26 percent were kicked out of their homes outright. This isn’t always based in homophobia; parents often try to protect their children from future abuse, by trying to “change the child’s mind” or force them to be more “normal.”

“Parents want to keep their kids safe, but what they’re doing is actually counterproductive,” FullenKamp said.

Other children choose to leave, standing up for their sexuality, Dohrenwend said, but generally, they go because “home becomes a hostile place,” she said.

Home is just half of it. Feelings of “otherness” and isolation extend beyond an address and into schools and churches, leaving children with little footing beneath them, FullenKamp said.

“Usually, what makes a child different is what makes a family different,” FullenKamp says. “Could be economics, race, or religion. But with LGBTQ, there’s no reprieve from the ‘other’ feeling.”

NO PLACE FOR A KID Among scores of smiling kid pictures hung everywhere at the drop in center are the grinning faces of Coko Williams and Shelley Hilliard.

Both used Ruth Ellis Center. Both identified themselves as transgender. Both were brutally and horrifically murdered in Detroit this year.

Shelley Hilliard was 19 years-old when she was found on Detroit’s east side,

You gotta be high to live that life, do what you do

By Allison Batdorff

Life is just a party, until you wake up in a hospital, stabbed in the knee. Your friend is in a coma in the same hospital. You two were on a lucrative “double date” – turning a trick together – but the last you remember is walking into a houseful of men all messed up on drugs and booze and itching to hurt you.

Curtis C. Collins doesn’t flinch from the memory; he was 19 years-old, a gay prostitute living on the streets of Detroit. He tells his tale with equanimity, eyes steady. Nobody put him on the street but himself, he says. And, if he’s going to be honest, he has to admit that parts of it were fun, that he felt invincible, unburdened by morality and the rules the most people live by.

“The streets were mine. If I wanted to get in your house, I could. If I wanted to sleep in your bed, I could. There were no rules. I could do anything, be anything, and you wouldn’t see me. I could be

mutilated and set on fire. Hilliard’s killer, Qasim Raqib, a 19-year old from Detroit, was sentenced to 40 years in prison this past year.

Coko Williams, 35, was found dead this April, shot, with her throat slashed. No one has been charged with the killing.

In the wake of Williams’s murder, Equality Michigan's Director of Victim Services Nursrat Ventimiglia said that transgender people on the streets are particularly targets for violent assaults.

"Transgender women made up 44 percent of the 27 reported murders in 2010, while representing only 11 percent of total survivors and victims,” he was quoted as saying.

Studies also show LGBTQ homeless youth experience 7.4 more acts of sexual violence compared to their homeless heterosexual peers. They are also twice as likely to commit suicide.

The first 72 hours that a child becomes homeless sets the tone for their experience, said Hope. “If they know about help, they can get what they need and move on,” Hope said. “If not, eventually something bad is going to happen. No one can live in potential danger 24/7 and come through it unscathed. Then when something does happen, kids often hide from the pain through drugs and alcohol.”

Ninety percent of Hope’s street youth use drugs like crack and marijuana, she said. Kids also resort to survival sex, she said. “They might not see it as ‘survival sex’ but they are performing sexual acts in exchange for food or a place to stay.”

Survival sex easily turns into prostitution, Ruth Ellis Street Outreach Coordinator Matthew Polzin noted. “There are a lot of factors pushing people towards it (prostitution). Having safe shelter is a basic human need and doing sex work allows you to access that shelter,” Polzin said. “There’s also an intense need to connect with other people when you’re coming out, and being a part of a community – any community – is really important.”

One study says 30 percent of shelter youth and 70 percent of street youth sell sex.

Young people are known for their ability to survive, but the street can steal this, too. A study of resiliency found that newly homeless LGBTQ youth would avoid fights and conflicts, find safe locations to sleep, adjust for bad weather, figure out how get around and the get things they need without money, learn how to deal with agencies and services, identify untrustworthy people, and seek mentors.

But after six months, these skills begin to degrade, Dohrenwend said.

“Even resilient kids break down over time,” she noted.

anywhere. Curtis had the streets down.”

Two years later, Curtis C. Collins is just dressed to slay, looking like the picture of a well-educated professional, which now he is. He’s proud of the Gucci shoes on his feet and the upcoming completion of his business degree. He’s got a good job, plus another offer on the table.

It’s a long way from where he used to be, one of the hundreds of LGBTQ teenagers living around Palmer Park, sleeping in abandoned houses or surfing couches. He didn’t get too heavy into drugs – he had a no-needle rule – but spent most of the four years from 15-19 years old “on” something. Everyone needs a buffer between them and the street otherwise you kill yourself with paranoia, he said.

“You gotta be high to live that life,” Curtis said.

“You gotta be high to do what you do, see what you see. You don’t know if those people walking at you are going to throw a punch or rocks or try and take something. People see me walking down the road and try and Taser me, try to run me over with their cars. You have to get out of your mind to live on the street.”

Born in Nigeria, Curtis grew up in Detroit’s blighted Brightmoor neighborhood. His first sexual experience happened too early to talk about, he says, holding up one hand to signify how old he was.

His dad wasn’t really involved but his mom took care of him, raised him right, and always said, “there’s something special about you, Curtis. You’re going to make something of yourself.” He believed it then; believes it now, and counts himself lucky that he had that belief to hang on to in the dark moments.

He realized that he was gay pretty early, but that wasn’t something he’d discuss with his mom, he said.

“She probably doesn’t like half of who I am or what I’ve done, but she loves me and always believes in me,” Curtis says.

He grew tall and broad, became a basketball court threat and protector of smaller misfits. He could fight, and wasn’t afraid to take on bigger, meaner kids. He started flaunting his sexuality in high school, he said.

“I wore tight pants, waved around with my wrist broke, looking for a fight,” Curtis said. But when his mom moved to Redford and he had to switch

LEGACY JEWELRY AND LOAN THE LARGEST COLLECTION ANITIQUE, VINTAGE AND ESTATE JEWELRY ARTISTRY OF YESTERYEAR CAN BE YOURS TODAY AT LEGACY JEWELRY AND LOAN, WE HAVE BUILT OUR REPUTATION AS THE LEADING EXPERTS IN THE REALM OF ANTIQUE, VINTAGE AND ESTATE JEWLERY. WE HAVE A SIZEABLE COLLECTION OF SOME OF THE MOST UNIQUE PIECES TO BE FOUND ANYWHERE. WE RESPECT THE INTEGRITY OF WORKMANSHIP OF THE ARTISANS FROM THE PAST AND OUR DEDICATION SETS US APART FROM OTHER JEWELERS. SO IF YOU ARE INTENDING TO MAKE A PURCHASE, FOR SOMEONE ELSE OR YOURSELF, CONSIDER THE IMPRESSION AND STATEMENT YOU CAN MAKE WITH ANTIQUE, VINTAGE AND ESTATE JEWLERY. THE ARTISTRY OF THE PAST, MAKING A STYLE STATEMENT TODAY. NEAL BLAZ

700 N. Old Woodward, Ste. 200, Birmingham, MI 48009

248.723.9975

Hours: Monday - Saturday, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. www.legacyestatejewelry.com • mrlegacyjewelry@gmail.com Big Beaver o Wo

rd wa od Wo

ard dw

Old

N

e.

Av

Maple Rd.

BUY • SELL • TRADE • LOANS ANTIQUE, VINTAGE AND ESTATE LOCALLY OWNED AND OPERATED GIA GEMOLOGISTS

The impacts of the homeless extend beyond their immediate existence as well, as the lack of permanent housing can lead to long-term instability in employment and education.

“It’s an extremely difficult problem,” FullenKamp said. “When you’re in a constant state of transition, you can’t plan ahead.”

There is also a correlation to higher rates of HIV. A federal housing program called Housing Opportunities for Persons with Aids (HOPWA ) provides funding for HIV-positive applicants, but there are far more people than available apartments.

As long as that’s the case, youth are still going to have sex with people in exchange for shelter, FullenKamp emphasized.

“The average youth knows more about HIV than you’d imagine,” FullenKamp said. “It’s not a question of knowledge. But as long as they’re without stable housing, they’re still at risk.”

CHALLENGES Complicating matters are the challenges service providers face. As in other institutions, LGBTQ youth face discrimination even within organizations charged with helping them. Church groups turn them away or try to “reform” them. Dohrenwend tells of a high school guidance counselor who refused to help a student who identified as transgender.

“The guidance counselor said ‘I know we’re supposed to support these people but I just don’t believe in it’,” she recalled.

One Michigan provider said a shelter mandated orange jumpsuits for LGBTQ youth; another relegated a gay client to a private room, using “you’ll have to room with the gay guy” as a punitive threat for other shelter guests.

Beyond that, there are just too many people out there needing temporary and transitional housing, providers say. With only five beds available for each program, Ruth Ellis cannot cope with the numbers, Erwin said.

“There is a huge need for additional beds,” Erwin said.

Hope spent six hours the other day calling shelters all over Michigan, and ended up sending a 19-year-old to an adult shelter where the first 50 people in the door gets a bed to sleep in.

“Sending a young person into an adult emergency shelter can be a terrifying and dangerous experience,” Hope said. “Some say they’d rather sleep in the woods or on a rooftop.”

She’s had to put kids on Greyhound busses to relatives or given them

schools, things changed in a hurry. A gay kid from Brightmoor kid was easy-pickings, and he dropped out of high school.

He first left home at 14 years-old. There was no abuse or exile. But there was ridicule, and that was enough to signify to Curtis that family couldn’t help him through this experience.

“I had too much on my mind to tell anyone what I was going through,” he said. “I left on my own. I was always that way. You couldn’t tell me nothing. I didn’t have time for the ridicule and I wanted to experience the world. No one was going to chase after me.”

He lived in abandoned houses, and on couches or floors until the welcome wore out. “I get a corner.

That would be my corner. I keep my corner straight.

I’m not about to clean up somebody’s house, after the chaos and kids, grandparents, 30 uncles and cousins staying there. Nope. I keep my corner in order.”

The descent into prostitution was a function of “laziness,” Curtis said. “I was like ‘you’re going to pay me $100 for 15 minutes?' That’s how it starts. Then you get a cell phone. Then you get

blankets to sleep in their cars because there are no spaces for them, she said.

“It’s very frustrating.”

And as a general rule, drop-in centers are only open a few days a week.

“For most of our people, the three days we’re open are the three showers they’re going to get this week,” FullenKamp said.

And yet there are bright moments and small victories. Hope talks about a young transgender man whom she assisted in getting his driver's license changed to reflect his identified gender. How he lived in transitional housing, went back to school, earned his degree, and got a full time job.

“Because we deal with the immediate crisis, many people leave and never tell us,” Hope said. “We might hear about someone who overdosed on heroin, but we don’t always hear the good stories. When we do, we hold on to them.”

Erwin speaks of coalitions forming between organizations to support LGBTQ youth to help streamline crowding and overflow. Comedian and lesbian activist Wanda Sykes has adopted Ruth Ellis Center, donating $15,000 to match a grant from PNC Bank.

In general, organizations are learning that a combination of street outreach, transitional housing and non-judgmental support tailored to fit this unique group has a positive impact.

It’s all a part of “meeting them where they are,” Erwin said. “Research is showing that just having one person accept you immediately drastically changes the percentage of depression and drug/alcohol use associated with coming out.”

Dohrenwend also hopes to prevent bad situations by encouraging empathy on the part of parents and a measured approach to coming out for youth.

“Think of coming out as a gift to yourself first - you don’t have to give it to everyone all at once,” she said. “Parents should say ‘I love you. I’m proud of you. I’m glad you told me.’ If you don’t get it right the first time, try it a second time.”

While Detroit is often under the microscope for its economy, blight and crime, the fact that it can support and celebrate a center like Ruth Ellis is hopeful, FullenKamp said. “We’re a microcosm of problems that are everywhere - health disparities, unfair laws, limited resources, sex and genderbased beliefs impacting abilities to access certain things,” FullenKamp said.

“But Detroit has an impressive history with being able to empathize with ‘the other' and that makes good things possible.”

two cell phones. Real pros take out an ad.”

The “wear and tear” on his body was “harsh,” he said. Now, as a 21-year-old, sex and intimacy trouble him and he wonders if it’s a permanent consequence of that lifestyle.

“You eat chicken every day, all day for a long time, and you lose the taste for chicken,” he explains. “I don’t want any chicken.”

He declined to disclose his HIV status, but said the prostitution also further alienated him from his family, as “you can’t bring any of that to your momma’s house.”

His lifestyle was such that when someone told him about Ruth Ellis, he assumed it was an after-hours club, instead of a support center for LGBTQ youth.

“When I walked in, I was like ‘Oh - there’s more of you! I never thought I’d meet so many people like me,” Curtis said.

Although he wasn’t very motivated to change and it took him several years to get on a good path, key people in the organization supported him, Curtis said. “Ruth Ellis has been my backbone for the longest. I fall on my face and they scoop me up with

a dustpan and dust me back off again,” Curtis said.

“It was a lot of ups and downs, and I totally forgot all responsibility. I couldn’t figure out ‘why is this stuff always happening to me?”

But eventually he “learned how to ask for help.”

He finished his high school diploma, and went on to get an associate degree. He had to get rid of a few friends to leave his old life, he said. “I grew up,” Curtis said. “I learned you can’t take everyone with you.”

Now, he uses his experience to encourage other folks within Ruth Ellis and sometimes speaks on the organization’s behalf. Kids like him need to see that their lives can change, Curtis said.

“I came up from the pits of the bottom,” Curtis said. “If I can do it, so can you.”

There are even bright spots to his experience, he said. For one thing, dwelling in the worst scenario the city has to offer doesn’t leave much else to be afraid of, he said.

“Living that life, on the streets, I’m not scared of anything anymore…except the Lord himself. And my momma.”

FACES

Hank Winchester

H

ank Winchester traveled around the country reporting before moving back to his hometown of Royal Oak to work as an investigative reporter and Local 4 Defender for WDIV-TV (Channel 4).

Winchester attended school in Troy and Saginaw Township, moving often while he was growing up due to his father's job as a contractor.

“I knew for many years that I wanted to be a reporter. I remember being a young child and seeing local reporters in Detroit covering big stories on TV, and I always thought that was so interesting as a kid and that just stuck with me,” he said.

To supplement his degree in broadcasting, Winchester had a handful of internships, including working for Andy Cohen and CBS News in New York City.

“I knew what I wanted to do, I just had to figure out a way to get there,” he said. “In television, the name of the game is you have to start really small and pay your dues, but I'm really glad I did that.”

Winchester worked all over Michigan and finally Miami where he landed a job with CBS for two years. “My goal was always to get back to Detroit. An opportunity came up in 2001, and I've been with WDIV ever since,” he said. “I interviewed and knew right away that it was going to be a good fit.”

Winchester enjoys traveling and meeting new people, but he says

interviewing celebrities pales in comparison to the everyday hero.

“Detroit is a very active news town. Things change and you have to be ready for the change. There's never a dull moment,” he said.

“Interviewing celebrities sounds like it'd be glamorous but I'm more interested in the everyday person who has a fascinating story to tell because I think those are the most compelling.”

Though he has been featured on Dateline NBC and won several Emmy awards, he is most proud of contributing to a series of stories about aneurysms to spread awareness and honor his father. “To be able to put it out there and know that hundreds of people got screened— it was a good moment.”

Winchester is also a big promoter of Detroit and co-founded Move Detroit to expose the city and what is has to offer. He stays active on the tennis court. While attending Central Michigan University for journalism, Winchester played on the intramural league of his fraternity and has loved the game ever since.

Winchester plans to continue his career with WDIV and looks forward to reporting on Detroit's next chapter. “The last few years have been difficult and I look forward to being able to tell more positive stories about our city.”

Story: Hayley Beitman

Photo: Laurie Tennent

Get a pack age you c an’t resist.

E n jo y a n e v e n in g o f f u nk -s oul mus i c and a s crump ti ous b u f f e t w it h t h e “ Din n er and a Show ” p ack ag e at M o t o r C it y C a s in o H o t e l .

Get $5 off show tickets.

Use code X P R E S S.

Get $5 off your buffet dinner with pack age.

SoundB oardDetroit.com

C HAKA K HAN N OVE M B E R 2 9 MotorCity Casino Hotel and MotorCity Casino Hotel design are trademarks of Detroit Entertainment, L.L.C. ©2012 Detroit Enter tainment , L .L .C. All rights reser ved.

18

Xpress

december 2012

H

ard to believe the fun and games might soon be over. But whether gay or straight, getting older often leads to doubts and anxiety. Among the LGBT community, there's a question that is coming up among more and more gay boomers, which is whether Michigan is a safe place for LGBT people to retire.

Given an anti-marriage constitutional amendment and a seemingly-hostile state government, Michigan's pleasant peninsula may not seem such a pleasant prospect for sexual minorities facing their golden years.

Yet, despite the reality that Michigan is still behind many other states in terms of treating LGBT citizens equally under the law, a surprising partnership of activists, state and federal officials are working to make retirement a less threatening experience for Michigan's sexual minorities. While many advocates for LGBT seniors show that aging can be a frightening prospect for sexual minorities, the facts also show that things are changing –if slowly.

RETIREMENT HOW THE GOLDEN YEARS COULD BECOME A RAINBOW TSUNAMI

BY DAWN WOLFE

At first glance, Michigan would probably not seem like the most welcoming place for LGBT singles – and particularly LGBT couples – to retire. It's still legal under state law to discriminate against sexual minorities in employment and housing. The partnerships and marriages of same-sex couples have no legal recognition; anti-equality legislators, backed by socially conservative activists, have used 2004's anti-marriage amendment to successfully bar the spouses of state and local employees from the same benefits afforded opposite-sex spouses. These restrictions are in addition to those in the Defense of Marriage Act, which bars same-sex spouses or partners (regardless of where they were married) from receiving their loved one's federal pensions or Social Security benefits. hile discriminatory laws can make living in the state a more expensive proposition for same-sex couples while they're working, a whole new set of questions confront sexual minorities on retirement: whether retirement facilities allow them to live together – or allow visitation without harassment. In other words, many LGBT seniors, and those approaching retirement, wonder how safe it is for them to stay out of the closet as they become increasingly dependent on others to see to their needs.

According to the 2010 US Census, there are almost two million people over the age of sixty living in Michigan out of a population that is just under ten million— in other words, twenty percent of the population is near, at or beyond retirement age.

The question is how many of these elders are sexual minorities. According to LGBT Older Adults – A Population at Risk, a fact sheet published by the LGBT Older Adult Coalition, “There are currently 68,077 LGBT people aged 65 and up living in Michigan. Another 62,600 are 55-64 years old and will join the retirement age by 2020.”

While there's ample evidence that agencies across the board are preparing for what's being called a “Silver Tsunami” of elders as the Baby Boom generation retires, until as recently as two years ago little was being done, at least in Michigan, to prepare for the particular needs of the Rainbow Tsunami.

The stakes are high. While few specific cases of hate crimes or discrimination against Michigan's LGBT elders have been documented, “We know the problem is worse because people have a tendency to underreport,” said Equality Michigan Director of Policy Emily Dievendorf.

“I don't know if we have the tools to accurately measure this problem,” said Jay Kaplan, staff attorney for the ACLU of Michigan's LGBT Project and a co-founder of the LGBT Older Adult Coalition. “We're just starting to focus on this issue.”

While there has been little reporting done at the state level, a 2010 national report on the issue funded by the Arcus Foundation paints what could be a more accurate picture of the specific issues that elder LGBT persons are facing. LGBT Older Adults in Long-Term Care Facilities: Stories From the Field, is the result of a survey of 769 individuals nationwide, including, “284 [who] identified themselves as LGBT older adults,.. (and) 485 (people who) identified themselves as family members or friends, social service providers, legal services providers, or simply 'other.'” The survey was conducted by national organizations, including the National Senior Citizens Law Center, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders (SAGE), and the National Center for Transgender Equality.

According to the report, “Altogether, 328 people reported 853 instances of mistreatment,” including 200 instances of verbal or physical harassment from other residents, 116 instances of verbal or physical harassment from staff, and 97 instances of staff refusing to accept the medical power of attorney from a resident's same-sex spouse or partner. Other incidents included restriction of visitors (93), refused admission or re-admission, attempted or abrupt discharge” (169), and refusal to provide basic services or care (51), or medical treatment (47). In 80 reported incidents, staff refused to refer to a

W

transgender resident by that person's preferred name or with the appropriate pronoun.

Given the other findings, it's perhaps not surprising that the vast majority of the survey's respondents said “No or not sure” to the question: “Do you feel that an LGBT older adult can be open with the staff of a nursing home, assisted living facility, or other long-term care facility about his/her sexual orientation and/or gender identity?”

Among those who work closely with Michigan's LGBT seniors, there exists a fear of social isolation at best and abuse or neglect at worse. During Michigan's first LGBT Elder Summit in 2010, “...there was a woman who had relocated to a private pay continuum of care facility where you start out with independent living, then assisted living, etc., and she said that she had to shed all of her previous life as a lesbian in order to fit in,” remembered Michael Bartus, a member of both the LGBT Older Adult Coalition and of the State Commission On Services to the Aging.

While Bartus, a retired aging services professional, said he has both the experience and means to make sure that he and his partner of thirty-six years will receive culturally-appropriate, respectful care if or when the time comes, the same is not true of many other LGBT elders.

“In any kind of congregant living situation there are these things that people don't think of. For example, having pictures of your partner in your living space, running the risk of people making comments on your LGBT visitors, being ostracized or bullied as a result of your history, or having to fabricate a history in order to fit in,” Bartus said. “When you move the situation into a long term care facility it becomes more troublesome because then you are more dependent on staff—aides—and older adults in general figure out pretty quickly that you don't want to get on the 'wrong side' of someone. If you add in that there's a bias of a negative type because of your sexual identity, it's scary.” “(There are) nursing homes (which) say that the sexual orientation of their residents is irrelevant – that's nonsense,” declared Kaplan. “To deny it is to deny part of who that person is. (Institutions) should acknowledge (seniors') sexual orientation, their partners—you can't be one size fits all. It's been that way for many years and it just doesn't work.”

Why are LGBT elders so vulnerable? According to the LGBT Older Adult Coalition's Population at Risk fact sheet, “Nine out of 10 LGBT older adults have no children to care for them as compared to two out of 10 heterosexual older adults. Furthermore, LGBT older adults have often been ostracized from an extended network of family members based on their sexual orientation or gender identity.” ccording to the report, the majority of LGBT elders, seven out of ten, live alone, and they are three times as likely to live in poverty as their heterosexual peers. Also, while LGBT adults tend to form networks of “chosen families” that look out for each other, these networks tend to be closely-related in age.

This means that, unlike the multi-generational biological families of many heterosexuals, many members of the same LGBT chosen family may be facing similar aging-related issues at the same time. In addition, LGBT older adults are at a higher risk for health issues including AIDS, mental health issues, and substance abuse.

Couple that with the fact that even married same-sex partners are legal strangers in the eyes of Michigan and federal law, and it multiplies the stress and anxiety to a situation that can have a negative impact on everything from their finances to their ability to visit and make important decisions for each other as they age.

Yet, there is good news looming despite the dire prognosis. In the past two years, things have begun to change thanks to the work of activists, federal officials and even some of Michigan's public servants.

About two and a half years ago, according to long-time LGBT activist and co-chair of the LGBT Older Adult Coalition Kat LaTosch, a number of LGBT leaders were called together by Jay Kaplan to start discussing the needs of

A

the community's seniors. “Here we are, all people who have been providing services and doing work for the LGBT community for a decade or more, and we wondered what happens when an LGBT person goes into retirement. I was just appalled that not one of us could come up with a single LGBT culturally competent provider,” LaTosch exclaimed. he added that there has definitely been a perceived need. “We (Affirmations, LaTosch's former employer and Ferndale's LGBT community center) kept getting calls (for referrals to elder care facilities), and I knew people who had gone into adult living communities, and where they have gone completely back into the closet for fear of how they'd be treated.”

Those first meetings were the genesis for the LGBT Older Adult Coalition, which was formed in 2010 and is comprised of representatives from the ACLU of Michigan, the Advisory Council to Michigan’s Commission on Aging, Adult Well-Being Services, Affirmations, Area Agency on Aging 1-B, KICK, Citizens for Better Care, The Jim Toy Community Center, Oakland Family Services and the Village of Redford.

In April of 2011, the Coalition hosted Michigan's first summit for LGBT elders, “to gather as many elders together as possible and hold an all-day brainstorming session to collect everyone's deepest fears, what they needed, and the solutions they wanted,” LaTosch explained. Since that time, the Coalition has hosted a 2012 summit, created a web site with several resources for LGBT elders and caregivers, and started providing both receptions for caregivers and trainings for elder care workers and LGBT service providers to help both groups serve the specific needs of LGBT elders.

According to Oakland Family Services Clinician Lezlee Eddy, “(The Coalition) decided that having these (provider) receptions would be a useful way to connect with other providers, to begin the process of disseminating information and eliciting recognition of the need for standards of competent care.”

“Some who attend are already aware of the issue. They acknowledge and recognize that they already work with older adults who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. Others are asking questions and indicating that this is a new area of consideration, and they are interested in displaying caring behaviors toward their clients,” Eddy said. So far, she said, the Coalition has hosted provider receptions in Oakland, Macomb and Washtenaw counties, “and had a mix of providers attending each.”

But not every provider of elder care in southeast Michigan has been eager to attend a reception. “Providers who are uninterested in learning about the specific needs of LGBT older adults or who have a bias against people who may identify as LGBT are not attending the receptions,” Eddy said. “These negatively-biased providers are, of course, encountering LGBT clients, and their clients are at risk of significant psycho-emotional, and possibly physical harm.”

The receptions are just the beginning of the services being offered to service providers who want to give culturally-competent care to LGBT elders.

Natalie Pearce, LMSW works for Adult Well-Being Services in Livonia, has been offering full trainings in LGBT-elder issues since January of 2012. “The demand for the training is very high. As of (Oct. 16), I will have completed a total of 10 (12), four-hour training sessions since January of 2012, i.e. in less than one year’s time,” Pierce said.

While the Coalition itself is simultaneously becoming more focused on advocacy and broadening its reach across the state, a few individual Coalition members and others have come together to form a southeast Michigan affiliate of Services and Advocacy for Gay, Lesbian, & Bisexual Elders (SAGE). According to LaTosch, the new SAGE chapter will focus on direct services and support to reduce isolation among LGBT elders.

Laura Champagne is one of the main volunteers working to create the new affiliate, an effort that started out with a HOPE grant received by the ACLU's LGBT Project. In addition to helping with the two Coalition summits,

S

the group—which is currently called Gay Elders of Southeast Michigan (GEM)— has been holding a Wednesday coffee klatch at Affirmations and a Sunday group at a local restaurant. “We hope to find other venues for similar activities in other areas of our seven county region. We have begun developing sustainable programming,” Champagne said. Plans include a December social event and a January meeting about health care reform.

In addition to working on the local and state level, the Coalition has also been active on the national front. Coalition members were among attendees at the first LGBT elder housing summit hosted by the Department of Housing and Urban Development in December 2011.

The Obama administration's support of the LGBT community hasn't ended with the refusal to defend the Defense of Marriage Act or the repeal of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell.” The Obama administration, through HUD, has also taken a stand on the issue of discrimination against LGBT elders.

That stand isn't limited to hosting summits. On February 3, 2012, the agency promulgated the LGBT Housing Rule in the Federal Register; the rule prohibits discrimination against LGBT residents in housing— including housing for seniors—that receives money from the agency. According to HUD Public Affairs Supervisor Brian Sullivan, “Section 202 of the Housing Act, for example, provides housing assistance to the elderly. If a private owner of an apartment building in Sault Ste. Marie accepts this money and discriminates against an LGBT couple, that would be against the rule.” The agency has also included questions about discrimination against LGBT people in its National Housing Discrimination Survey for the first time; results were not available as of press time.

Federal agencies aren't the only government entities taking an interest in the state of Michigan's LGBT elders. In what may be a surprise to those who are familiar with the state legislature's anti-equality actions, Michigan's Office on Services to the Aging has conducted the first state survey in the country to assess the needs of LGBT seniors. ccording to Public Affairs Specialist Phil Lewis, the survey was a separate part of a broader needs assessment survey required by the federal Administration on Aging. “The Older Americans Act, the federal law that basically supports most aging and disability systems in the US, outlines the LGBT community as a group for whom special efforts should be made in light of the challenges they face, so we put resources toward that,” Lewis explained, and added that the help of the LGBT Older Adult Coalition and GEM was critical in promoting the survey and getting more than 700 respondents. “We will be compiling the results over the next several months.

We're currently operating under our State Plan for 2011-2013, so the results will go into the plans that begin in fiscal year 2014.” Lewis added that the state plan is another federal Administration on Aging requirement.

Additionally, Lewis said, “We're going to do our best to raise the level of knowledge of this community (LGBT elders) with the legislature. We have a great relationship with them—we work with them on a lot of issues facing elder adults and people with disabilities. Our focus is putting together some really good data so we can go to them with that data and do what we're charged with doing under federal law.”

The Michigan Office on Services to the Aging hasn't limited itself to surveying LGBT elders. As part of Michigan's Aging Network, the office works with Area Agencies on Aging to hold trainings for service providers, informational workshops at senior centers, and sensitivity training sessions and events. The Area Agencies on Aging are also working on printed materials outlining long-term care resources for the LGBT communities.

Despite the progress of the past few years, both the evidence and the people working on the issue indicate that there are still serious challenges for current LGBT seniors. Private facilities that don't accept HUD money are still free to discriminate against LGBT citizens under state law. The PrideSource Yellow Pages and the Older Adult Coalition's Modern Family Guide collectively list only one home care provider, one rehabilitation and skilled nursing care

A

3 CANNED GOODS GETS YOU A

W

FREE MOVIE! December 6, 2012 The first 1,000 people to bring 3 canned goods can see any first run movie between the hours of 6 and 9:30 PM at Palladium 12.

Metro Times, Palladium 12 and 93.9 The River are proud to support Gleaners Food Bank.

Seats are subject to availability. 3D movies not included.

metrotimes

250 N. OLD WOODWARD AVE. BIRMINGHAM

metrotimes.com/filmanthropy 22

facility, and one “Active Adult Community” as of the deadline for this issue. Not every facility will send representatives to Natalie Pearce's trainings. hile all LGBT elders in Michigan face similar hurdles, the fact remains that wealthier, mostly white community members are better able to put together the legal documents necessary to protect themselves and their relationships, while their less well-off counterparts, especially those living south of Eight Mile Road, struggle with deteriorating city services and much higher rates of both crime and unemployment.

And unlike some states, Michigan has not extended the spousal impoverishment protections available under Medicaid to same-sex couples.

These protections prevent healthy opposite-sex spouses from having to spend down the family finances to well below poverty level to qualify one of them for long-term care under Medicaid; without them, the healthy partner in a samesex relationship can be left “...homeless, penniless, and without a living-wage income,” according to the 2010 publication LGBT Older Adults and Long-Term Care Under Medicaid, published by the movement advancement project, SAGE, and the Center for American Progress.

“The bottom line is the law, the policies are bad in our state,” Kaplan admitted, though, “there is some receptivity to look at this issue. I wouldn't say [Michigan is] the worst state, but I could think of other states where people would want to go because our policies are so bad right now.” Still, Kaplan added, there are agencies serving elders that see becoming LGBT culturallycompetent as a wise economic move . “It's a good marketing tool.”

Another factor that presents challenges is that the current cohort of LGBT elders came of age during a time when, as Pearce explained, “They experienced a lifetime of events that have shaped them and made them fearful.

Only in 1973 did 'homosexuality' cease being considered a 'mental illness'. In addition, 'gender identity disorder,' a term used for transgender folks, is still considered a 'mental disorder' in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) of the APA (American Psychological Association).”

Despite these ongoing challenges, though the tide is turning – even if slowly-for Michigan's LGBT elders. Bartus, for example, counts his appointment to the State Commission on Services to the Aging as, “an incredible statement.”

While he was appointed on the basis of his decades of work on agingrelated issues – and not to represent the LGBT community – Bartus said that, “I clearly stated that I was a sixty-five-year-old, partnered gay man,” in his materials to the commission. “I think it's an incredible statement that you can be open about your life history in such a context.” He added, “The good news is that my cohort of LGBTs is pretty used to getting what we want to out of life, so if we don't like a particular vendor ,we'll go somewhere else to get what we want, and in the future we won't have a history of being in the closet in our community.

I feel there's no going back on the accomplishments of the past couple of years.

We're pressing service provider awareness, we're having more discussion, and we have more involvement of LGBT elders in the issues involving them. No one can take this away.”

LaTosch also sees signs of progress. In her Coalition work, she said, “We go in and we meet with someone who is in the position to make decisions and we talk about the issues and concerns and the disparity that LGBT elders are facing. In every single meeting – literally – people are very concerned and caring and want to make a difference and want to help.”

Still, LaTosch added, “There's one issue we haven't had a chance to wrap our arms around – housing. We still don't have any LGBT friendly or competent places identified yet. And there are (LGBT) people who don't just want to live with other LGBT people, just in a place that's affirming and friendly. Maybe we just need to build a welcoming and affirming place or find one that already exists — one that would partner with us. I'd love to see a retirement community come forward and say, “We want to be a welcoming, affirming place.'”

“If someone were to call me after reading your article and say, 'We want to be that place,' it would be my magic wand.”

Xpress

december 2012

FACES Allison Korotkin

A

llison Korotkin first realized members of the LGBT community were not being accurately represented by the media while growing up in Birmingham. She created a documentary to explore her ideas as well as working as an editor and associate producer.

Korotkin grew up the oldest of four siblings and attended Detroit Country Day School where she used violin and sports as an escape. “For a while it was rough growing up with people who didn't feel like they were the same as you. I felt very isolated in a lot of ways. Softball was my outlet no matter what.

Eventually, it became my release and still continues to be today,” she said.

“Growing up, you were supposed to want to watch Disney princesses and play with Barbies. As a girl, there was no place to see someone who resembled me. I didn't want to get saved by Prince Charming. I wanted to be Prince Charming.”

She moved to Pennsylvania to study communications at Alleghany College. “It was far enough away to start over and meet new people but not be too far away from home because family is important to me,” she said. “Film always stayed in the back of my mind. I didn't go into college thinking I would do video and film. I thought I would get a business degree but once I started taking classes, that quickly changed.”

Korotkin created the documentary “I Still Don't See Me” to explore LGBT representations in the media using examples from shows like The L Word and Queer as Folk. “People who look like me, act like me, and have the same taste as me aren't being represented,” was her motivation.

After interning for the TV Series Greek in Los Angeles and the American Association of People with Disabilities in Washington D.C., she landed her current job with PenDrawgn, where she created the promotional video for Calvary Women's Services. “I am most proud of that because it is truly helping people and making a difference with the camera.”

On the weekends, she stays physically active as a member of the D.C. Gay Flag Football League, coaching little league softball, and returning to visit friends and family in Birmingham.

“I have a lot of Michigan pride and I'm not quite sure where it comes from. If I could eventually move back there I would do it in a heartbeat. They say home is where the heart is, and my heart never left.”

Korotkin hopes to keep learning wherever she ends up. “My goal is to become the best version of myself. If it’s next year or in a hundred years, that's still the goal and what I'm going to focus on.”

Story: Hayley Beitman

Photo: Jon Michael Shink

PARENTING TOGETHER SAME SEX ADOPTION CHALLENGES

BY HAYLEY BEITMAN

W

alter Street and Walter Rochowiak began discussing adoption on their very first date, over fifteen years ago. When the same-sex couple finally became parents to their now three-year-old son Zachary, Walter Street traded his days in the air force and lifestyle as a professional firefighter and corrections officer to take on a more nurturing role. “People said, you guys did such a nice thing. We're like no, it wasn't for him, it was for us. He did as much for us as we did for him,” he said.

Except for Zach's next birthday, Jay Kaplan, staff attorney for ACLU of Michigan's LGBT Project, says same-sex couples in Michigan have little to celebrate. For many families across the country, National Adoption Day on November 17 was a day to finalize paperwork and celebrate with family and friends but same sex couples in Michigan still face hurdles.

“Same-sex couples are strangers in the eyes of the law.

They wouldn't have anything to celebrate in our state,” Kaplan said. “There is little to celebrate in terms of relationships and the adoption issue, and I don't use that

lightly. I'm a glass-half-full kind of guy. It just frustrates me where we are. It's doing a disservice to children.”

According to AdoptUSKids, a service of the U.S. Children's Bureau, there are currently 104,000 children awaiting adoption in foster care across the country. With 20,000 of those children currently in foster care in Michigan and 7,000 waiting to be adopted, there is an increasing need for adoptive parents of all sexual orientation.

“Many birth mothers want gay couples for specific reasons,” Ellen Kahn, director of the Human Rights Campaign Family Project said. “Women who grew up in the 'Will and Grace' generation and are now watching 'Modern Family' may get the sense that this is the emerging trend and it's cool. They may hear myths that gay men have more income or have access to more culture. It could be she likes the idea of two dads because she'll be the only mother psychologically, because she'll be the only caregiver. Some women want parents who are both lesbians because of an abusive husband or boyfriend and she doesn't want her kid dealing with that.”

Although progressive comedies like “Modern Family” and “The New Normal” are just now bringing light to the issue of same-sex parenting, the notion is nothing new. As being openly gay becomes a more common and accepted aspect of American culture, same-sex couples no longer have to hide their sexual orientation to serve in the military, marry or have children.

The latest Pew Research Center survey found that support for samesex marriage and same-sex adoption have been steadily increasing. As of July 2012, support for same-sex marriage was 48 percent, up from 39 percent in 2008, 31 percent in 2004 and 27 percent in 1996. For the first time, the majority of the population supports same-sex adoption, with 52 percent in favor as of 2012, up from 46 percent in 2008, 42 percent in 2006 and 38 percent in 1996.

Cathy Eisenberg, director and adoption expert at Child and Parent Services Adoption Agency in Bingham Farms said, “We have definitely seen more of an interest in same-sex couples wanting to adopt, but I don't see a shift in public opinion. I think people are more open with their sexual identity today. I get a lot of calls but not everybody goes forward with it because it's so challenging and takes so long.”

More than one-third of lesbians without a child want to have children, and more than half of gay men without a child want to have children, according to a July 2012 report from the Movement Advancement Project, Family Equality Council and Center for American Progress. The same report found that in 1970, 83 percent of children lived with married, heterosexual parents compared to 69 percent in 2012. Today, between 2 and 2.8 million children are being raised by LGBT parents.

For Walter Street, his biggest concern was taking Zach away from the ability to have a mother. “When we first met Zach, within 30 minutes the social worker said, you are the more nurturing one and you will take the mother role and it turns out she was absolutely right,” he said. “The social worker told me she never ever thought of placing a child with a gay couple. I asked her why, and she said I just had misconceptions. When she met us and talked to us, the lightbulb went off and it opened her eyes. From the experience I've had raising Zach, it's so much more stable than a lot of same-sex couples or single parents. Zach has special needs and we are uniquely qualified to deal with him. We give him everything that he needs—therapy—whatever it takes.”

“Newborns are usually placed immediately or very fast, but because of his issues, his mother's rights were severed immediately because she tested positive for heroine and cocaine. He had some placements that didn't go through because he tested positive for HIV antibodies. We knew the virus and antibodies are completely different, but people didn't want anything to do with it,” Street said. “Even if it was positive, we knew there were medications and we were willing to do that.”

Experts believe children develop best when exposed to both male and female role models. Eisenberg said in same-sex relationships, these roles

can be fulfilled by aunts, uncles, grandparents, or even the parents themselves. “In most same-sex placements you have one parent working and one going to playgroup, so you still have those roles, and they're still pretty distinct roles,” she said.

Sandra Ohl, program manager of Foster Care & Adoption at Judson Center finds working with same-sex couples a much easier process. “I don't know why that is, maybe because of their lifestyle and it seems like more of an opportunity to them. I love working with them. It seems to me to always be a good experience and we've done many of them,” she said of same-sex adoptions. “I find they're so grateful for the opportunity to have a child and are more committed to these kids and their needs. They really put their heart and soul into it.”

Myths and misconceptions still persist today despite the fact that it has been proven children do equally well with either same-sex or heterosexual parents.

“As a whole, they are no different than just regular adoptive families,” Eisenberg pointed out. “In most cases, it's all what you know and what you're used to. Is it more challenging having two moms or two dads? I'm sure it is.

When you have issues is when kids are mean and are bullying. Kids want you to pay for being different. I know from working with same-sex families that adoptees will get the question, why do you have two dads?” Eisenberg said she has never had any issues or concerns with placements that involved same-sex couples.

One couple who went through the adoption process with Sandra Ohl of Judson Center was stereotyped before even going through the adoption process. “A six-year-old boy said he didn't want to be adopted by two fags,” Ohl said. “The fact that a six-year-old already had that stereotype in his brain was really eye-opening.”

According to a study done by Dr. Carole Jenny and her colleagues for the American Academy of Pediatrics, out of 269 cases of sexual abuse in children, only two of the offenders identified as gay or lesbian. The study found a child's risk of being molested by the heterosexual partner of a relative is more than one hundred times more likely than by someone who is LGBT. “It's ridiculous to categorize one group as a certain way and one as another. We don't look at heterosexuals and make generalizations about a small group of people. I don't think you can make statements like that.

Children do just as well with gay foster parents and adoptive parents as heterosexual parents,” Kaplan said.

Any prospective parent looking to go through the adoption process must participate in a grueling and costly interview process called a home study, which includes background checks, fingerprints, references and training.

“We have to jump through hoops and prove we're qualified to other people,” Street said. “Most people who are heterosexual and just have children, don't have to prove anything. We went out of our way. We opened our home to investigation, questioning, our friends were asked about what type of people we are, we had to sign paperwork. It's almost insulting that we have to go through so much.”

Some states still do not allow same-sex adoption, even by a single parent.

As of January 2012, Florida, Mississippi and Utah are the three states that continue to ban same-sex adoption, according to Child Welfare Information Gateway, a service of the Children's Bureau, Administration for Children and Families, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Florida's adoption law includes that no person is eligible to adopt if that person is a homosexual. However, on September 22, 2010, that part of the law was deemed unconstitutional by the Florida Court of Appeals. Mississippi's

E

248.644.7000

SKBK.com

migVdgY^cVgn X]VgVXiZg ^h i^bZaZhh#

SKBK.com 44=00 :V[OLI`»Z 0U[LYUH[PVUHS 9LHS[` (MÄSPH[LZ 33* ( 9LHSVN` *VTWHU` (SS 9PNO[Z 9LZLY]LK :V[OLI`»Z 0U[LYUH[PVUHS 9LHS[` PZ H YLNPZ[LYLK [YHKLTHYR SPJLUZLK [V :V[OLI`»Z 0U[LYUH[PVUHS 9LHS[` (MÄSPH[LZ 33* (U ,X\HS 6WWVY[\UP[` *VTWHU` ,X\HS /V\ZPUN 6WWVY[\UP[` ,HJO 6MÄJL 0Z 0UKLWLUKLU[S` 6^ULK (UK 6WLYH[LK

Your Area Experts Renee Lossia Acho & Cindy Obron Kahn SKBK Sotheby’s Over $50 Million Sold 2012 Top Producers 2009, 2010, 2011 and 2012

Our results speak for themselves…

Just ask your neighbors •$28,000,000 Sold in Birmingham •$11,280,000 Sold in Bloomfield •$ 7,500,000 Sold in Franklin Village •$ 3,265,000 Sold in West Bloomfield Cindy Obron Kahn 248-568-7309 ckahn@skbk.com

415 S. Old Woodward, Birmingham 48009

Renee Lossia Acho 248-310-1414 renee@skbk.com

Birmingham, Michigan | 248.644.7000 | skbk.com

Bloomfield $3,200,000 Exquisite Bloomfield Estate built by artisans from around the world. This estate home is situated on over 1.2 acres with a walkout setting. Stunning manicured grounds. The first floor has second kitchen, dining and family rooms, billiards room, sauna, steam shower, full service bar, elevator, gym.

Five fireplaces. Six car garage. A very special home. Five bedrooms with 6.1 baths. 212065164. Presented by Cindy Obron Kahn

Lake Oakland Frontage $795,000

Bloomfield $675,000

Immaculate Lake Oakland Estate's Lake Front! Prestigious area of custom built homes. Almost 5,300 sq ft with two story great room, first floor master, spectacular granite kitchen with eating bar and large nook overlooking lake. Walkout with 4th bedroom, full bath, kitchen, pantry, custom bar and fireplace. Lake side view with seawall, dock, lawn and pavers for entertaining. Three bedrooms with four baths. 212099509.

Presented by Michelle Yurich

Beautiful custom designed newer home sitting on spectacular 1.26 acre lot that goes far into back woods. Open flow and versatility of main floor are paired with unique brick encased circular staircase connecting all three levels and featuring two fireplaces on main floor (dining and living room) and one in the lower level. Huge master suite, spacious bedrooms and 3 full baths. 212109934. Presented by Dmitry Koublitsky

Birmingham, Michigan | 248.644.7000 | skbk.com

Birmingham $3,275,000 Stunning custom in-town residence is the epitome of style and sophistication. Offering over 9,000 square footage of functional living space with details that exceed expectations. Sumptuous master suite, gourmet kitchen (as featured in a national publication as a "dream kitchen") finished lower level, elevator and loft space. Four bedrooms with 5.2 baths.212001452. Presented by Sara Lipnitz

Franklin Village $1,750,000

Oakland Township $1,250,000

Custom built home on 1.5 acre lot providing much privacy and serenity overlooking the wooded lot and beautiful gardens. This impeccable home shows like brand new, is high quality throughout, and constructed with high standards. Finished walkout lower level with kitchen, bar, 2,000 bottle wine cellar, exercise room, theater room, and two bedrooms.

Multiple furnaces and air conditioning with zoned heating. Heated garage. Six bedrooms with 4.3 baths. 212063242.

Presented by Mike Cotter & Paula Law

Private gated community of newer estate homes. Completely updated in last few years. Spacious and open floor plan. Beautiful first floor master suite. Finished lower level walkout includes kitchen and bedroom suite.

Home sits on 1.74 acres with large private backyard. Extensive stone landscaping surrounds lovely pool. Six bedrooms with 5.2 baths.

212084777. Presented by Ronni Keating

Birmingham, Michigan | 248.644.7000 | skbk.com

Birmingham $1,399,000 Stunning Masterpiece adorned with only the finest finishes and materials. Grand two story limestone foyer and walnut hardwood floors throughout.

Outstanding Chef's kitchen with white marble and stainless steel counters, commercial appliances and custom cabinetry. Gracious family room with built ins, elegant dining and formal study. Fantastic 2500 sq ft lower level with full bath. Four bedrooms with 4.1 baths. 212114989. Presented by Renee Lossia Acho

Walters Lake Frontage $429,000

Birmingham $699,000

Rare, one of a kind, original, authentic Log home with guest house overlooking all sports lake. Main house has soaring 16 ft Fieldstone fireplace in a two story vaulted great room. Four bedroom guest house with two separate entrances. Eight bedrooms with four baths. 212098475.

Presented by RW Watson

Completely redone from top to bottom. Gourmet kitchen with top end appliances, plantation shutters, hardwood floors throughout, huge bonus room/4th bedroom, extensive landscaping, lighting and patio design.

Four bedrooms with 2.1 baths. 212090435. Presented by Molly Henneghan & Kris Barich

adoption law states adoption by couples of the same gender is prohibited. Utah, another state with a strict adoption law, only allows adults who are legally married to each other to adopt and persons who are cohabiting but not legally married may not adopt. In states like Connecticut, the sexual orientation of the parent(s) may be considered when placing a child.

Mississippi, Wyoming, Alaska, Arkansas, Texas, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Kansas, Alabama, Montana, South Dakota and South Carolina are states where more than 25 percent of same-sex couples have children, according to a census snapshot series done by Gary J. Gates and Abigail M. Cooke in 2010. In New York and California, it is illegal for public adoption agencies to discriminate against a couple because of their sexual orientation. irk Moore and Brian May used an agency to find a surrogate in Portland, Oregon to have their 22-month-old son Landon.“Though Landon is genetically my partner's, Oregon has liberal and progressive adoption rights and laws so we did second-parent adoption the day of the birth and my name was put onto the birth certificate. For us, it was easy because we were very careful in making sure we were doing everything and doing it in a state that made it easy. I think we were very lucky, and we have a great almost two-year-old to prove for it,” Moore said.

In 2004, a Michigan Attorney General ruling stated that same-sex couples married in another state could not jointly adopt because Michigan does not allow same-sex marriage or honor samesex marriages from other states. Michigan's adoption law prohibits joint same-sex adoption but allows single parent adoption. While there is no statute prohibiting same-sex couples from jointly adopting, the law states a husband and wife may jointly adopt. Same-sex couples have not been allowed to jointly adopt in the past because judges argue that since same-sex marriage is not legal in Michigan, they are not legally considered a married couple.

“It says nothing about gay people adopting.

Nothing says that they can't. Some judges take it as only married couples can adopt. We don't agree with that. Michigan courts have not addressed the issue. Many judges will not grant adoption and will say only married couples can adopt. We totally disagree with that interpretation.

It either needs to be clarified through statutory change or state two married people can adopt a child if it's in the best interest of the child,” Kaplan said. “Michigan allows one person to adopt, but the other person raising the child is a stranger in the eyes of Michigan law. That's the ridiculousness of it all.”

Kaplan points out that Delaware, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Alabama, Alaska, Georgia,

K

Louisiana, Nevada, Oregon and Texas don't allow same-sex marriage but allow same-sex couples to jointly adopt. Illinois, Pennsylvania, Washington D.C., Massachusetts, Vermont, New York, New Jersey and Delaware have adoption laws similar to Michigan and have allowed same-sex couples to jointly adopt in the past.

“There are other states that don't allow marriage that allow same-sex adoption. It's putting something in there that's not there and that's what's faulty about that logic. There's nothing in terms of the law that prohibits foster homes or foster parents and nothing in the adoption law either. It's a manufactured thing from certain judges.” Kaplan noted.

Walter Rochowiak is the only legal parent of his and Street's son Zachary. “If something happens to Walter Rochowiak, I have no legal rights to Zachary in Michigan. If his parents challenged it, he would go to his parents or sisters instead of me,” Street said.

Frank Vandervort, clinical professor of law at the University of Michigan Law School whose primary interests include juvenile justice and child welfare, said, “One thing could happen, the legal parent could leave their partner in a will as the legal guardian. They would leave a will stating the partner was the legal guardian and they could pursue adoption on their own, but it leaves the child legally unstable and it wouldn't be unusual for family members or biological family to fight for custody. Children in single parent situations are economically less stable and emotionally less stable.” Eisenberg said that even making your partner the legal guardian doesn't safeguard the child because it doesn't apply until after the legal parent is declared incompetent or dead.

The ramifications for children who cannot have both parents' names on their birth certificate means they may be denied inheritance, as well as Social Security or disability benefits. Same-sex parents like Walter Street could even run into hurdles trying to sign a permission slip for a school field trip or making emergency medical decisions.

“Look at it this way—why should a child be deprived of the legal protection of two parents?

Why should the child be penalized for something the child has no say in and something the parents can't do anything about in Michigan because same-sex couples can't marry? It's just wrong, and who gets let down are the children. Two parents means two people have to provide support to you,” Kaplan said.

Democratic candidate for Oakland County Executive Kevin Howley, who lost to L. Brooks Patterson this November, and his partner Jason, are the parents of two children, Lily and Langston.

They attempted to solve the legal battle by making Jason the legal parent of Lily and Kevin the legal parent of Langston. “For us, the legal distinctions are really not relevant and the children only know

us as a two-parent household with two dads. This is also what the community sees from the outside,” Howley said.

Street, who moved to the United States from Germany to adopt, also owns a home in Florida, and is hoping to adopt a second child from Florida. “A lot of same-sex couples wanted to go out of the country to adopt, but all doors were closed three years ago. It was intended to stop child trafficking but it has had effects for same-sex couples trying to adopt,” he said.

To travel to another state to go through the adoption process requires finding the right agency as well as having the financial resources. “You have to have the money to go to other states, there are residency requirements, and the child has to be born there. Not everyone has those resources.

Michigan is supposed to recognize adoptions in other states. Why should you have to leave your own state to give birth to your own child because Michigan is missing the boat on this issue?”

Kaplan said.

Ultimately, the safety and placement of a child is up to the social worker, who may deem a couple or parent unsuitable for a number of reasons.

Unlike public adoption agencies, private agencies create their own system for interviewing potential adoptive parents and sexual orientation may be considered.

“Religiously-based adoption agencies can refuse to make placements if they don't think it's appropriate in terms of foster care. It's legal to do that,” Jay Kaplan said. Ellen Kahn suggests Jewish and Lutheran agencies have more inclusive organizational policies but ultimately, it varies based on state law. treet and Rochowiak worked with Judson Center and Hands Across the Water in Ann Arbor and said they didn't even approach a religious organization because they knew it would be difficult, if not impossible.

Sandra Ohl of Judson was approached by a man looking to go through single parent adoption while his partner pretended to be his roommate. “I confronted him and said is this the case? He said yes, but we tried to go through an agency and were told none that are faith-based will grant same-sex adoption and we would be turned away if we admitted to our sexual orientation,” she said.

“Judson is faith-based. We certainly didn't hold it against him. I've been doing this for 15 years now and our agency has never discriminated. We may have been more discreet on behalf of the family but it falls in our policy that you don't discriminate.”

With almost half of the population in favor of same-sex marriage and adoption, many wonder if gender discrimination is nearing its end. “This has been going on for 10 years and it's bad. It's the worst I've ever seen it in terms of gay couples being recognized,” Jay Kaplan said.

S

FACES Tim Larrabee

T

im Larrabee's deep rooted passion for equality, diversity and social justice makes him a natural educator and administrator at Oakland University, where he has left an indelible mark by implementing its first anti-discrimination policy.

Larrabee, Associate Dean of the School of Education at Oakland University, first decided to become a teacher while volunteering as a docent at the Sacramento Zoo. He attended the University of California, Davis, where he earned his bachelor's degree in psychology and PhD in education.

He started his career as a middle school science teacher in Sacramento before moving to Michigan to teach elementary science teaching credentials at Oakland University.

“In 2004, the office of Inclusion and Intercultural Initiatives started an employee resource group and sent out a notice saying if you belong to a protected class you can join the organization around that commonality and talk to faculty and staff and students about issues and concerns.”

With the help of former dean Julie Voelck, Larrabee became the first chair of Oakland University's LGBT Employee Resource Group and implemented the university's first anti-discrimination policy. “It took about a year to write new policies and adopt. We were the 13th state university to adopt policies.”

After five years, Larrabee gave up his position to become associate dean. “Now I help administer the school with one dean and two associate deans.”

Larrabee is a member of many teaching organizations, but is most involved with the American Educational Research Association. “It's kind of the premier international research organization.”

He received the GREEN Educator Award for his participation in Earth Force. “I adopted the Earth Force curriculum and brought it back here at the university. It does have an impact on the way we teach and the way teachers will teach in the future. It's part of what I do as an educator; you go find a good curriculum and you teach it well.”

The Ferndale resident enjoys the friendly people in his welcoming community. “I've lived in about five different places since I moved to Michigan. I've been in Ferndale since June, and I know more neighbors on my street than I've known in all of Michigan.”

When he isn't dancing the tango or cha cha, you can find him walking his dog Lola. “That's really my favorite thing to do. Dancing is my hobby, but walking my dog is my favorite.”

Larrabee is both proud of his past and hopeful of his future. “I'm really proud of having Oakland University adopt LGBT inclusive policies. That was a big deal,” he said. “I'm new to this position as associate dean, so I have some growing to do into that position. I'm looking into becoming a more effective leader in the School of Education and branching out that way.”

Story: Hayley Beitman

Photo: Jim Sechelski

THE INTERVIEW: CRAIG COVEY

LONG-TIME GAY RIGHTS ACTIVIST AND POLITICIAN

Craig Covey, a long-time gay rights activist, former mayor of Ferndale, and outgoing member of the Oakland County Board of Commissioners, speaks to Xpress Editor Lisa Brody about how he first got involved in politics, what motivated him to become a gay rights and human rights activist, and how politics are an essential part of who he is.

XPRESS: Tell us a little bit about yourself. How did you originally became involved in politics? I understand that in the early 80’s you started a gay rights organization called Stonewall Columbus. What was your motivation and what were you seeking to achieve? Later on, what influenced you to move from Ohio to Michigan to direct the Michigan Organization for Human Rights?

COVEY: Any discussion in how I got started, believe it or not, has to go way back to when I was in the second or third grade. I’ve been interested in politics, and this sounds crazy, since I was a kid and my father used to take me to the voting booth when he voted. It wasn’t his idea, it was my idea. I wanted to go with him, so as early as seven or eight years old, I remember going with my dad to vote; this would have been in the 60s. I actually began getting involved and even volunteering for campaigns by the time I was 11 or 12. I remember working on the George McGovern campaign (when) he ran for president in 1972. I was about 13 years old and it’s never ended.

My politics have evolved a little bit since I was eight years old, but the main issue is still there, so out of that I suspect is where my gay rights work came along. I was always interested in environmental stuff. I remember as early as 1970 I organized a bunch of kids in the neighborhood and we picked up all of the trash and stuff in an empty lot. I even called the newspapers and got a story, so they say people don’t really change. I’ll probably do it until they plant me six feet under. I came of age when the gay rights struggle, at least the modern gay rights movement was beginning in 1969. I was just a kid, but by the time I was 14 or 15 I knew that I had different kinds of feelings and was attracted to boys instead of girls, and that kind of percolated for a while. I think it’s pretty logical that, at least for me anyway, once I became an adult and got involved in a lot of things, the gay rights struggle was a natural.

My gay rights work really began in college. I went to Ohio State and the very first thing I did before I even unpacked was I called the gay student group in Ohio State that was called the Gay Activist Alliance. I went to the very first meeting that I could and I think by the time I was a sophomore I was the treasurer, and by the time I was a junior I was president of the group. When I graduated from OSU and began working in Columbus, there were no gay rights or gay community organization for anyone beyond students. Back then, most of your groups were based on universities so once people graduated, they went off into the world and there was nothing left for them. That’s how some friends of mine decided we needed a gay organization for gay people once they left college. At that exact same time was when Jerry Falwell was traveling around organizing the Moral Majority. He actually came to Columbus, and they were going to try to organize a chapter of the Moral Majority. I got a whole bunch of friends of mine and folks that were involved politically from the Democratic Party or from various environmental groups. I was involved with the National Organization for Women back then because we were trying to pass the ERA. We pulled this big coalition together. We picketed this church and again I called the media. My whole family comes from an advertising and media background so I think inherited that from my dad, but we were all over the news and we got more news coverage than the Moral Majority did, and the upshot is that the Moral Majority never did organize a Columbus chapter, and out of that came the Stonewall Union. A year later we organized the first gay pride parade in Columbus, which of course nowadays I think is the largest gay pride march outside of Chicago in the entire midwest. That’s how it got started way back in the 80s. I loved the 80s.

Covey photos by Laurie Tennent

I was in my mid-20s organizing down in Columbus and we were really making a lot of progress. By the second or third year I was organizing parades down there, we started inviting other cities like Toledo, Cleveland and Cincinnati, and even Indianapolis and Detroit, so some Detroit folks starting coming to our parades. The folks who ran MOHR, which is the organization that later evolved into Affirmations and Triangle Foundation and all that, was looking for a new executive director. They approached me. It took them about a year and I finally acquiesced and came to Detroit, looked around and they hired me.

That’s how I ended up in Michigan.

XPRESS: You were elected as a Ted Kennedy delegate to the Democratic National Convention in New York City in 1980, and served three years on the Board of the American Civil Liberties Union in Columbus before the age of 25. What motivated you to start your work at such a young age? Was there a catalyst for your involvement?

COVEY: The interest was there as a kid so that’s just what my focus, my energy, my excitement has always gone that way. I don’t know what else other people do, but I can hardly believe I was successful. I was the youngest delegate ever elected I think to go to a convention in Ohio; I was 23. It was really exciting. I was the first openly gay delegate from Ohio. Back then I think there were only 60 or 70 delegates that were gay. I was a Kennedy delegate. I was not all that pleased with the way Carter had been doing things so I actually beat some of the old Democrats and I formed this coalition that later became the way I do just about everything: forming coalitions. You bring folks together that are not necessarily gay, but back then they (were) involved in environmental issues. The right to choose was obviously still very important as well. I brought together some labor folks, so that was really me. This 23-year-old kid and my lover at the time, we went off to New York City and went to Madison Square Garden. I was a delegate, that was pretty neat.

XRESS: You have worked in public health in the area of HIV/AIDS education and prevention for both state government and not-for-profit agencies. You helped co-found Midwest AIDS Prevention Project.

Where did you develop your passion for these issues?

COVEY: That again sort of came out of the fact that HIV/AIDS came along. A lot of times I don’t necessarily plan my life as much as events shape where I go or where I end up. I was happily running

the gay rights organization here in Michigan. We were beginning to make some progress but I was starting to lose friends to HIV/AIDS. Back then, there were no experts and very few people willing to work on the issue. Back then they called it the gay disease or various other things. We in the gay community had no choice but to organize and begin focusing on the issue because I was losing friends right and left.

One of my old boyfriends from Columbus died in 1987. We started to do safe sex education just as a way of preserving our community.

My thought at the time was yes, we still need civil rights and back then, there was no such thing as gay marriage at all. We were trying to get laws repealed that made homosexual activity illegal. My thought was, if half of our community, the male half, dies off from AIDS, then civil rights don’t really matter anymore, so I started focusing on safe sex education.

Richard, a friend of mine, and myself developed the first safe sex prevention programs for gay men in Michigan, and I just sort of took off in that direction.

The public health department hired me as a consultant and I got to travel the state. This the late 80s and the 90s, and I literally got to go to every university, city and town in Michigan for several years. We created a thing called the Tour for Life where I was on the road for about 12 days and went to every campus and most big cities and did safe sex education. I was picketed by right wing anti-gay folks in Jackson, so we really did some fun stuff. Scary, but fun as well, and I got to talk about sex. I did that for some 22 years and founded the Midwest AIDS Prevention Project. Later we merged and became the Michigan AIDS Coalition and I just left that agency a couple years ago.

My feeling is I gave it my best shot. The epidemic is somewhat under control. There are better folks established now that can carry on that work, but by the time I got into my late 30s and early 40s, I remembered that I always wanted to go into politics instead of just advocacy. I wanted to actually be the policy maker. I wanted to be an elected official. I wanted to run for office. I planned on something down in Columbus, but when I came to Michigan I got very involved in HIV/AIDS education for a number of years.

I bought my first home in 1989. I was about 30 and I bought a home in Ferndale, which back then, was a declining blue collar town, people were moving out. It was a little rough around the edges. Our downtown was empty. It was an empty canyon. We had an adult bookstore right in the middle of downtown, we had an adult theater, we had a massage parlor. It was pretty rough and it was declining. Some of us saw the curdle of a rebirth or we saw sort of a blank canvas, and there was a small group of lesbian and gay leaders who lived in Ferndale, who’d been at the forefront of our movement for decades. Suddenly you had a chunk, or at least a portion of those involved in gay rights. We began looking at our own little town and saying why don’t we make change here.

Detroit’s always been a tough nut to crack. In most of your big cities across the country you have gay

neighborhoods and flourishing gay areas like Boys Town or Greenwich Village or Castro, but Detroit unfortunately was never able to hold onto and develop such a neighborhood. There was a thirst in the whole region, and some of us decided, or subconsciously said, we need a gay neighborhood, we need a gay center, and Ferndale could be it, and out of that came the organizing of Fans of Ferndale, which was the first gay residence association. I helped co-found that back in the 90s. Affirmations eventually moved to Ferndale and opened up.

Midwest AIDS Prevention Project opened up in Ferndale. We had the MCC Church that came down here and opened their church. It just began to evolve to the point of what we have today, which is sort of the gay center of the region.

XPRESS: As the first openly gay mayor of a municipality in the state of Michigan, have you seen the LGBT community take on more leadership roles since you took office and broke the barrier? You’ve lived in Ferndale for over 20 years now— what other advancements have you seen from the LGBT community in Ferndale, Oakland County, and in Michigan? During you time as the mayor of Ferndale and Oakland County Commissioner, what significant advancements and achievements do you feel you made for the LGBT community?

COVEY: Slowly. There’s a few of us out there. Chris Kolb was elected first in Ann Arbor to maybe a council position and later became a state representative. He was certainly a trailblazer. I was the first openly gay mayor elected by the people. I say that because Seth Chafetz, who was an openly gay mayor of Birmingham, was appointed by the city commission. There’s progress but not enough.

Michigan has always been in the middle and I’d like us to be in the forefront and leadership range of gay issues. I think we were in the leadership range for HIV/AIDS for a number of years, but maybe because were in the Midwest or maybe because we are a purple state, we’re not as far ahead as places like Massachusetts or California. But we’re certainly way ahead of places like Utah or Oklahoma or Alabama.

In terms of people who live in Ferndale and know what it’s like for people who come here and have seen the change, this is what success looks like. For all of us who have been struggling or working toward some goal, which is a place where gay people are treated equally and integrated and meshed in the fabric of the community, where we hold leadership roles and it’s not a big deal. That’s what we’ve done here. Sure, we have some specific issues, we wanted to be able to be in the military. It took 20 years but now gay people can serve in the military. Lately, the issue has been marriage. We want gay marriage and we’ll have it someday. We want to be accepted, left alone, appreciated as citizens who work beside everyone else. We cut our grass and we pay our taxes and we go to the grocery store and do our laundry. We’ve accomplished that; I’ve always suggested that people can look at Ferndale as a model. It’s open, it’s accepting, it’s diverse. The

whole gay issue, it’s sort of evolved to the point where it’s a mature community and we’re almost done.

XPRESS: You led efforts in Ferndale to enact a human rights ordinance that would protect all residents and visitors from discrimination in housing, public accommodations, and employment.

Why do you feel this didn’t happen earlier and why are other municipalities in Michigan so far behind?

COVEY: It took us about 10 years, and that is not unusual. I started my work in Columbus, Ohio and it took Columbus about 10 years as well. If you look at other cities that have adopted these, it seems to take about 10 years. People think 10 years is an eternity but as we know, 10 years is a flash in the pan. The only thing stopping other cities, even in conservative areas, is simply people organizing it and we know how to do it. I might write a book about it someday.

You start at the very grassroots. People always throw that word around, but they don’t know what it really means. Grassroots means you know your neighbor, your neighbor knows you, you go to the neighborhood block association meeting or block party, and they know that those two guys are gay that live in that house. Maybe you become involved in the library in your town or you join the planning commission or you go to the church suppers.

The first time I ran for political office, I lost. I came in last place. It was because I was running as this gay rights person that wouldn’t be able to pull a majority of people and I was given good advice to get involved in the grassroots. So I went to spaghetti dinners, joined the health club, stuff that you wouldn’t necessarily think is all that gay.

XPRESS: You created a gay pride street festival called Ferndale Pride. How was it received by residents, especially some of the older residents who had been in Ferndale for years? Why do you feel it was a necessary thing to implement?

COVEY: Ferndale Pride is a pretty recent development. When I first got here in Michigan we started doing pride festivals and I organized the first gay pride parades. Another group formed helping pride festivals in Detroit; they then moved to Royal Oak and then Ferndale. For about 10 years, the Motor City Pride was here in Ferndale because it was becoming the center of the community and we were attracting 35,000 to 40,000 people. When Motor City Pride wanted to go back to Detroit, those of us in Ferndale, including the straight community, didn’t want them to go, and when they did go, decided that we would host an additional pride weekend. It’s because this town is so wrapped around the idea that we are part of the gay community and we want to continue to be a part of the community.

Ferndale is also a city that loves to hold festivals and parties. We have big street festivals and all sorts of things. One of the things that people move here for are the big downtown festivals and parties. When we survey our residents, the top things they like the most is the DIY festival, Gay Pride Festival, we hold a giant

pub crawl. We have the Dream Cruise so almost every weekend until the weather breaks and the weather gets bad. There’s no one left in Ferndale who is not supportive of gay rights. When the festival left, the council members, chamber of commerce, business owners and residents said we don’t want to lose this, let’s keep it going. We’re sort of the end result of what people strive for in terms of the gay community. We’re the mature, finished product, and the families wanted us to do it.

going to be a problem. I think that’s why you see some folks coming back to cities. There was a reason that we lived in cities and liked density, and there’s a reason that most decent, organized, successful cities have public transportation. They’re starting to pay attention as far as the gay aging community. As usual, it’s us trying to figure out how to take care of us. I give Affirmations credit. They’re the only agency that I’m aware of that’s sort of paying attention right now.

XPRESS: Oakland County has a division that is now looking at the challenge posed by the growth of an aging population, but is anyone within Oakland County government looking at Oakland County’s aging LGBT population? Has anyone urged you, as a county commissioner, to look at the aging LGBT population? As a commissioner, have you taken this into the “Silver Tsunami” discussion at all?

COVEY: There’s good news and bad news. The good news is that there are folks paying attention and looking at the senior or growing, aging population of LGBT people and the growing of the senior population of gay folks. I’m on the heels of that group myself. The good news is people are paying attention. Affirmations is working on it. The bad news is Oakland County itself is still, the government, behind.

As positive and upbeat as I am about Ferndale, I’m almost as equally disappointed in Oakland County itself, particularly the government. The Oakland County government, from the sheriff to the county executive to the county commission to the clerk, has been solidly run by a majority of the Republicans for the last 50 years. There’s been an absolute heels in the ground resistance to the kind of progress, so that even as places like Ferndale and Royal Oak and Pleasant Ridge gentrify and people see the progress and understand the success we’ve had in embracing diversity, as soon as you get past Royal Oak or west of Farmington, you run into road blocks of conservative, tea party folks. While there are no homophobes or anti-gay people left in Ferndale, the bad news is there are still plenty in parts of Oakland County, and they either left and went to Macomb County or those parts of the state. Brooks Patterson, very little interest or support of the gay community. The sheriff is not supportive of our community. The majority of commissioners wouldn’t even vote for a proclamation that I did to declare gay pride.

That’s the negative side, that our region is still behind. We are trying to show folks how to do things, but there’s still resistance to following the idea. While Oakland County is aware the population is aging, they’re behind. We have one of the worst public transportation systems in the country. That’s number one as people age. In a place like Ferndale which is walkable and we have senior services, folks will be a little better off, but one of the most negative aspects of aging in the suburbs is you’re out in the middle of nowhere. As people age and eventually don’t want to drive or can’t drive, suddenly you’re out there in the middle of a subdivision and you’re miles from the groceries and many miles from the doctor, so it’s

XPRESS: Your Oakland County commission district was redrawn this year, forcing you into a tough primary battle against fellow Democratic commissioner Helaine Zack. Do you read anything into how the district was redrawn by Republicans relative to your being gay? Unfortunately for you, Zack prevailed in the primary. Has there been any suggestion that as a voting block, the LGBT community still doesn’t have the power to catapult someone into office? Are you concerned about the community not being adequately represented on the board of commissioners, or is it more important to be concerned about representation at the state level?

COVEY: It would be perhaps easy to think that. I’ll tell you what I believe I think it was and it’s still pathetic, whatever their reasons were. There’s one school of thoughts that they simply wanted to get rid of a couple Democrats, and as they drew the lines, in order to do that they put a couple of us together— Helaine and I being one of the pairs. I think they may well have said to themselves, we might want to get rid of this Covey guy but I don’t think it’s because he’s gay. I think it’s because that they know I was able to cross over to the Republican side. I made friends over there and allies up there. I got some things passed that surprised everyone up there. In Ferndale, I had allies in the moderate and even conservative wings of our city. I like to think of myself as somewhat non-partisan. I think they saw someone who was a little too good with the media, a little too quick on the draw. Maybe I’m overemphasizing that, but of the ten Democrats, I was one that got stuck in another district, so I have to make the best of it. I try not to be bitter. It was a rough fall, spring, and winter.

I fought this power grab all the way through. It went all the way to the Supreme Court.

It was not part of the battle between Helaine and I for a couple of reasons. Number one, Helaine is a progressive Democrat and is good on the issues.

This was nothing more than a matter of numbers and loyalty within a city. I’m sure I won the gay vote. I won the Ferndale vote by 71 percent. I won Hazel Park.

What tends to happen is people tend to vote for the person they’ve known. Helaine had been the county commissioner for Huntington Woods for 10 years, so she was much beloved. What you’ve got there is a city that votes in very large numbers, and so even though the people of Huntington Woods got to know me a little bit and liked me, and the people here got to know Helaine and liked her. When the votes were done, it was pretty much a Ferndale and Hazel Park vote versus a Huntington Woods and Oak Park vote, and what you have in Huntington Woods is a huge turnout. I have to tell you the Ferndale community and regional gay community here was totally supportive. The larger metropolitan gay community, I don’t think was paying attention.

I think it’s important that gay people run for city council. You’ve got to start at the beginning. You can’t just start off and run for congress. You have to start at the very bottom. I encourage people to run for school board, get on the planning commission. That’s where you’ve got to start. This will be the first time in 10 years that Oakland County has not had a gay commissioner.

XPRESS: What is the general sentiment on the county board as you know it, relative to helping push the whole equality agenda? Do you believe it’s more open than you’d find in the other 82 counties of state? What’s the sense of things currently in Oakland County government in terms of encouraging more diversity in the population? If, as political theory has generally held, the county board is really a stepping stone or training ground for even higher office, are we seeing the extreme conservative viewpoint that we see in the state legislature relative to social issues?

COVEY: It’s not much better than the other counties in the state. I’m sure Wayne County is better, but I don’t know about Macomb. You’ve got nine of ten Democrats that are totally supportive. You’ve got one or two Republicans that would like to be supportive.

The way the Republican party has moved in the past two years, unfortunately, is the leadership and the strength has moved to the right, and you’ve got these tea party types and folks that are anti-gay in control so moderate Republicans, and there are a few up there, don’t have the courage or ability to stand up for issues they believe in because they’re afraid of the right wing tea party.

It’s exactly the same in the legislature. Because of 2010 and the Republican tidal wave, they’re in charge of everything in our state so there is zero progress. It’s just bad. I suspect that there will be some changes but what happens is that because these Republicans were in control this time, they got to redistrict everything. Most people don’t pay attention to what’s happened and for the next ten years, it’s going to be much more difficult for Democrats to win because we’ve been gerrymandered out of so many seats, (at the) local and state level.

XPRESS: You were also CEO of the Midwest AIDS Prevention Project and Michigan AIDS Coalition.

What role do they play in southeastern Michigan and what did you personally work on during your time there? As someone who gives a lot to these organizations, what do you gain from your involvement?

COVEY: I went into HIV/AIDS out of gay rights because my friends were dying and I didn’t want our community to die, and got very involved but I actually was able to do a lot of organizing and side work for our community as an AIDS educator. Some of the right wing folks were saying they’re using this to convert our children. The trick was I went to hundreds of schools and college campuses and talked about safe-sex and HIV/AIDS. I was the executive director but I always kept my hand in the program. I always went out and spoke; it gave me energy. Even after I had staff who were the main program people who did training, I continued to do it through my career because I liked it. I liked speaking with students, I liked going to high schools and they seemed to like me, so I kept doing that the whole time. I think we’ve made huge amount of progress particularly in the medical fields, public health fields, and in schools because people got to see us and meet us and talk to us and that’s the key. The key is not just organizing and registering voters and doing press conferences. The key is talking to your neighbor, your cousin’s girlfriend, talking to a teacher, it’s letting them know we’re plain, old, regular, boring people.

XPRESS: You won the National Human Rights Award for Leadership, Governor’s Community Service Award, Spirit of Detroit Award and Southeast Michigan Pride Award. What does winning these awards mean to you and how do they validate your hard work?

COVEY: First of all it means I have boxes full of these awards in my basement and attic and I say that tongue-in-cheek. But I do, and they’re fun to think about and look at. Some obviously meant a lot more to me, but I just got an award last spring. A little award from a little organization called Detroit Latinos and I went to accept this award and there were about 40 people in the room, but this was a group of gay and lesbian people of Hispanic background. I had helped start the Detroit Latino organization a few years back and I was actually as proud of that award as I was of the National Human Rights Award, which I accepted in front of 3,000 people.

It just makes you feel good that someone knows that you’re doing good things and that’s sort of been my whole purpose of existence. Throughout my career, even as a kid, I never understood discrimination. I never understood why some people didn’t like the black kids, why some people didn’t like Jewish kids, and as I grew up and got older, I wondered why they didn’t like the gay kids. It’s continued throughout my entire life. I have my name on a plaque in downtown Ferndale that recognizes a young Asian man who was murdered years and years ago because he was Asian and I took an interest and fought for that cause. It makes me even more happy

than the plaques that are packed in boxes in my attic or basement, that I have a really neat permanent memorial right at the median of Nine Mile and Woodward that will be there long after I’m gone.

Someday a little Asian kid or a little gay kid who’s Asian perhaps, will walk by there and look at that and say I wonder who this guy Mayor Covey was.

XPRESS: Can you fill us in on what your next steps will be as you leave the board of commissioners?

What else are you doing now? What are your plans for the future, either professionally or personally? Do these plans include running for political office at either the local or state level?

COVEY: I can guarantee that I’m not going to change much. It’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks, and what my love and passion is, is this. It’s politics, advocacy. I’ve gotten a little more involved in environmental stuff which is how I got my start back in the 70s, because things are just as scary now as they were back then. I’ll always be an advocate for the gay community, but we’re winning this war. We have other wars to fight. I do plan to continue my political work. I may just start over and come back home here to Ferndale. There’s a huge number of people that would like me to get back on the city council. At some point, if there’s an opening for the mayor’s spot, I might do that. Don’t know that I’d go for higher office. I do a lot of fundraising for groups so I’ve been doing some consulting, I do some public speaking and I’m actually starting to get paid for some of this work. I’m also getting ready to write a book. Folks have said all along that I should write a book but that’s all long range stuff. I’ll be here a few more years and keep doing the kind of work I’m doing.

XPRESS: Where do you see yourself, as well as the LGBT community, in five to 10 years?

COVEY: In five years, I see myself in Ferndale and running around. As far as the gay community, I see nothing but progress. After we got the military ban lifted, there really isn’t that much left. I think the gay community still needs work on building it’s own self esteem and unity. We’re not always nice to each other; we’re not always nice to ourselves.

We’re going to have issues with health. HIV/AIDS may or may not go away, but there will always be health issues. We have issues with substance abuse and as our community ages. I’m always an optimist, and so I see marriage coming along, but not necessarily for me. Maybe at some point I can actually focus on looking for a husband. I guess I never looked much more than three or four or five years ahead so I can’t tell you what will be happening to me in 10 years, but I think the gay community will be in better shape and probably starting to look worldwide because there’s progress that needs to be made in Africa and parts of Asia and South America for our community.

Scan for Covey audio

FACES

Rick Henning

R

ick Henning is not only the President and CEO of Higher Ground, he is a life coach, community activist, realtor and loving father of two.

He spent his childhood in Standish, where he grew up on a farm without running water. “My childhood was like living on Little House on the Prairie,” he said. “We had to work for our food and didn't have much play time. It gave me an indication that nobody is going to hand you anything in life and you have to work for it.”

With a degree from Davenport University, Henning worked in retail for 25 years. “Things changed dramatically when my life partner passed away from complications of HIV/AIDS and I needed some support to try and help me get through that.”

Founding Higher Ground, a volunteer-based non-profit organization in Royal Oak, he was able to fill a void for HIV/AIDS support in southeastern Michigan. “We look at the healing process from a holistic standpoint. We look at the entire body, mind and spirit. It's more than people popping medicine and being OK,” he said. “There is certainly a lot of struggles when it comes to perception. People still today think you can contract HIV/AIDS from a handshake. The struggles from 30 years ago still exist today. It's a constant battle to try and fight it and break the stigma.”

Henning is also a life coach, offering his services both within and independent of Higher Ground. “It goes hand-in-hand with helping people. Whatever goal somebody is trying to obtain, I think outside of the box to help them attain their goal.”

In light of winning the Spirit of Detroit Award, he is most proud of helping others. “The award gave me validation that the city of Detroit realizes HIV/AIDS doesn't discriminate. That hangs in my office and I look at it everyday,” he said. “Winning the awards is all good and groovy, but my real reward comes from when I see the fact that I've actually helped make a change in somebody's life.”

Henning, who resides in Warren with his family, also sells real estate as a hobby. “It ties in with life coaching and Higher Ground, helping people obtain their goals.”

It is evident that even when he is working, his two children are foremost in his thoughts. “I see every part of my life expanding and growing forward. My bigger goal right now is to do everything I can to help my children graduate from college and get started on their career objections and one day become a grandfather,” he said. “I have the best support system that a person could ask for. What I have, I want other people to have.”

Story: Hayley Beitman

Photo: Laurie Tennent

COMPENDIUM

Compendium is just as the title would imply–a collection of short items of note from the LGBT community nation-wide.

We have recapped the following news items and then credited the first publication where the item was noticed, although in many cases the items has also appeared elsewhere. In some cases, we have actually done some additional leg work when recapping these items.

For those who want added information, at the Xpress website (xpressmi.com) Compendium items provide a direct link to the full news item you find here.

Compendium items are compiled by staff reporter Hayley Beitman.

No disclosure required Canada's Supreme Court ruled that people with low levels of HIV do not need to disclose their condition to their partner during sex if they use a condom. The ruling passed 90, and the court stated the ruling was due to medical advances in treating HIV/AIDS. In 1998, the Supreme Court in Canada ruled people with any level of HIV must disclose their condition to their partner during sex or they could be charged with aggravated sexual assault and a life sentence. The 1998 ruling was argued to be confusing and outdated, not reflecting updated medical advances. While the court did not determine a specific low HIV level, they ruled the transmissibility of HIV is proportional to the level of HIV in a patient's blood stream.

Edge San Francisco edgesanfrancisco.com

Another DOMA ruling Same-sex marriage, an issue that may be looked at by the U.S. Supreme Court soon, was recently addressed by the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, a federal appeals court in Manhattan. The 2nd Circuit ruled that a federal law stating marriage is a union between a man and woman is unconstitutional.

According to Judge Dennis Jacobs, the court found the Defense of 40

Marriage Act unconstitutional to deny benefits to married same-sex couples. The ruling was in response to a woman who sued the government in 2010 because she was not paid federal estate tax after her lifelong partner passed away.

Jacobs also stated he believes LGBT discrimination should be examined by courts.

Bay Windows baywindows.com

Census panel set A new advisory committee was established by the U.S. Census Bureau to ensure programs, surveys, and the census accurately represent LGBT and minority populations. Thirty-one members of the National Advisory Committee on Racial, Ethnic & Other Populations will help the U.S. Census Bureau with costs, accuracy and implementation of programs, surveys and the census. The members include an experts on topics including LGBT issues and HRC’s vice president of communications. The Obama administration reversed a Bush administration policy that didn't include same-sex couples in the census because of the Defense of Marriage Act. The census found 131,729 of 646,464 same-sex couples identified as married, according to the Williams Institute. The National Advisory Committee on Racial, Ethnic & Other Populations held its first meeting in October.

The Washington Blade www.washingtonblade.com

Justices voice opinions U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, one of the most conservative justices, told the American Enterprise Institute in Washington, D.C. that he takes a strong stance on controversial issues, including gay rights.

According to the Associated

Press, he told an audience that nobody ever thought the Constitution prevented restrictions on abortion, the death penalty, and homosexual sodomy, which he believes should be a crime. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said several same-sex marriage cases have been submitted, and the U.S. Supreme Court will likely address the Defense of Marriage Act before the end of the current term.

Ginsburg also stated she could not discuss issues like the Defense of Marriage Act because it is likely to come before the court.

Advocate www.advocate.com

Marriage gains favor A poll the Washington Post conducted in September found that the majority of the state of Ohio supports same-sex marriage with 52 percent in favor and 37 percent opposed. In 2004, 62 percent voted in favor of an anti-marriage amendment to the state constitution.

Washington Post polls in Florida and Virginia also reflected a majority in favor of same-sex marriage. In Florida, 54 percent were in favor of same-sex marriage and in Virginia, almost half were in favor. In 2006, only 43 percent of Virginian voters responded in favor of same-sex marriage. Co-founder of Ohio's Freedom to Marry and Religious Freedom amendment Ian James of Columbus said the Washington Post's findings reinforce previous beliefs. In June, the Freedom Ohio executive board will determine if the amendment will be put on the ballot for the November 2013 election.

Gay People's Chronicle gaypeopleschronicle.com

Bar association support On October 24, the Chicago Bar Association, which represents 22,000 lawyers and judges, announced it Xpress

supports marriage equality. The Chicago Bar Association president Aurora Abella-Austriaco said their one-line policy states, “The Chicago Bar Association supports marriage equality for same-sex couples.” The policy was adopted at a board of managers meeting in September and unanimously approved, with one abstention. Chair of the Chicago Bar Association's LGBT committee David Amen said this decision came about because without the policy, the Chicago Bar Association could not file a brief in support of the Lambda Legal and American Civil Liberties Union lawsuits to seek marriage equality. Amen said the policy will help allow same-sex marriage legislation in the state of Illinois.

Windy City Media Group windycitymediagroup.com

Conversion therapy ban California Governor Jerry Brown recently signed legislation banning sexual orientation conversion therapy for minors. The legislation will take effect on January 1, 2013.

Brown stated the therapies, such as talk therapy, electroshock treatments, and even exorcism performed by medical professionals to change sexual orientation or gender identity, have no scientific or medical credibility and have caused children to become depressed and commit suicide in the past. Former professor of psychiatry and psychologist Dr. Robert Spitzer stated in 2001 that conversion therapy has been scientifically proven to change an individuals sexual orientation from gay to straight. In April, he retracted his previous statement and admitted he was wrong. The American Psychiatric Association also denied support for the therapy.

The Florida Agenda floridaagenda.com december 2012

Concern for gay youth

Deportation ruling

The Human Rights Campaign's “Growing up LGBT” survey found that out of 10,000 people, 92 percent of LGBT ages 13 to 17 hear negative messages about being LGBT from school, Internet, or peers. Jack Dreshcer, MD of the American Psychiatric Association and New York Medical College, said 90 percent of people surveyed said they are openly gay, and 42 percent said they live in a city where being openly gay is not accepted.

Dreshcer said despite many advances in equality, LGBT youth in today's society are the only minority group who face negative messages and disapproval from family, friends and their community by being born into an enemy camp. The Human Rights Campaign's “Growing up LGBT” survey will show officials the concern for LGBT youth.

The Washington Blade www.washingtonblade.com

A policy that President Barack Obama initiated in June 2011 was recently clarified by a letter from the Department of Homeland Security stating that Immigrations and Customs Enforcement officers may consider family relationships and contributions to society in deportation cases. Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano wrote in the letter that family relationships includes long-term same-sex partners.

Representatives Nancy Pelosi and Jerrold Nadler initially led the request for clarification. The response memo stated Immigrations and Customs Enforcement officers should not consider cases a high priority if the person has a family relationship with a U.S. citizen.

Department of Homeland Security verbally stated this will include LGBT families.

Gay Peoples Chronicle gaypeopleschronicle.com

Nordstroms joins cause Nordstroms, a Seattle-based company with a long-time philosophy of equality, recently announced in a company memo that it supports marriage equality and same-sex marriage. CEO Blake Nordstrom and brothers Erik and Pete Nordstrom signed the memo that stated every employee is welcomed and respected. Nordstroms also offers domestic partnership benefits to employees who are in a samesex relationship and believes LGBT employees are entitled to the same rights and protections marriage provides all employees. Amazon and Starbucks are other companies based in Washington who have publicly supported marriage equality. JC Penney and Kraft Foods have also publicly supported LGBT customers and rights.

The Florida Agenda floridaagenda.com xpressmi.com

Three percent ID as LGBT A recent Gallup poll found that when asked, “Do you, personally, identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender?” over three percent of Americans identify as LGBT. The largest poll of its kind, written by author Gary Gates, included 121,290 interviews and found 3.2 percent of American adults identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. The findings showed that nonCaucasian adults are more likely to identify as LGBT than Caucasian adults. Out of those surveyed, 44 percent identified as Democratic, 43 percent identified as Independent, and 13 percent identified as Republican. The Family Research Council said the findings from the survey showed a

disconnect between realistic LGBT representation and LGBT media representation.

Advocate www.advocate.com

First LGBT U.S. Senator

OraSure Technologies, Inc., reported seeing its stock jump after releasing an at home version of its HIV testing kit to stores. The home version of the HIV testing kit is a 30minute oral test that was released Wednesday, October 10. The FDA approved the OraSure rapid test for use at home earlier this year. The home testing kit does not require a doctor or samples sent to a lab, and allows users to get instant and private results. According to CNBC, OraSure Technologies stock went up almost 50 cents after the OraSure rapid test hit shelves. The test works by screening saliva for the presence of ineffective antibodies the body produces when infected with HIV. The Washington Blade www.washingtonblade.com

Tammy Baldwin became the first openly LGBT person elected as a U.S. Senator for Wisconsin when she won over Republican Tommy Thompson. In her acceptance speech, Baldwin, who had one of the most liberal records in the House, said she didn't run to make history, but ran to make a difference. In 1998, Baldwin became the first woman elected to the U.S. House of Representatives in Wisconsin’s history. She was also the first openly gay non-incumbent in U.S. history when she was elected to congress. Baldwin voted against the Iraq War, against a proPatriot Act resolution, and was an advocate against Bush-era tax cuts.

However, she supported universal health care and works to prevent bullying and suicide among LGBT youth.

The Edge Boston www.edgeboston.com

Coming out with allies

Same-sex marriage vote

The Human Rights Campaign Foundation (HRC) and its Coming Out Project and partner, Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG National) and its Straight for Equality project, jointly released an updated version of Coming Out as a Straight Supporter.

According to Chad Griffin, president of HRC, the nation's largest LGBT civil rights organization recognizes straight supporters as important in the fight for equality. Griffin said with National Coming Out Day in October, the guide may be an important tool to help LGBT people and allies in their coming out process. The guide is intended to provide facts, strategies and questions for straight supporters to support friends, family or coworkers during the coming out process.

Bay Windows baywindows.com

Same-sex marriage was approved by voters in Maine, Maryland and Washington state, and marked the first time that LGBT marriage has been approved in an election. Same-sex marriage has been legalized in some states through court rulings, but has been rejected by voters over 30 times in a row. Minnesota voters also had same-sex marriage on their ballot.

Minnesota voters rejected the gay marriage amendment. LGBT rights groups said that same-sex marriage legislation is a sign of public opinion shifting. The same-sex marriage amendment in Maine will make LGBT families more stable and secure, according to Matt McTighe of Mainers United for Marriage.

The New York Times www.nytimes.com

In home HIV test

Xpress

41

INTRODUCING OUR HOLIDAY PRICE FIXED LUNCH MENU Special $25 Holiday Price Fixed Lunch Menu available for any sized lunch party November 26, 2012 - December 29, 2012.

Complete menu details can be found online.

RECEIVE A COMPLIMENTARY $25 GIFT CARD WITH PURCHASE OF A $100 CARD

Have you been trying to find the perfect gift for someone special? Why not consider a gift certificate from Big Rock Chophouse? Available in any denomination, our gift certificates will leave a lasting impression!!

245 S. ETON STREET, BIRMINGHAM | 248.647.7774 | bigrockchophouse.com

&Žƌ ůů ŽĨ >ŝĨĞΖƐ KĐĐĂƐŝŽŶƐ͙

ǁǁǁ͘ďůƵŵnj͘ĐŽŵ ĞƚƌŽŝƚ &ĞƌŶĚĂůĞ Ϯϰϴ͘ϯϵϴ͘ϱϭϯϬ 42

Xpress

december 2012

DINING OUT

The Xpress guide to Dining Out is a quick reference source to select establishments offering a place for either breakfast, lunch or dinner. By no means is this meant to be a complete guide to all dining establishments; it is a selective guide to some unique places.

Dining Out is available at xpressmi.com and soon we will offer it in an optimized format for mobile devices which will allow you to actually map out locations and automatically dial a restaurant from the Xpress guide.

220: American. Lunch & Dinner, MondaySaturday. Reservations. Liquor. 220 Merrill Street, Birmingham, 48009. 248.645.2150.

24 Grille: American. Brunch, Saturday, Sunday.

Lunch & Dinner, Monday-Friday.

Reservations. Liquor. 204 Michigan Avenue, Detroit, 48220. 313.964.3821.

526 Main Dueling Piano Bar & Tequila Blue: American/Mexican. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 526 South Main Street, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.591.9000.

Andiamo : Italian. Multiple locations. Lunch & Dinner, Monday-Friday; Dinner, Saturday, Sunday. Reservations. Liquor. 129 South Main Street, Royal Oak, 48067.

248.582.9300. 14425 Lakeside Circle, Sterling Heights, 48313. 586.532.8800.

Lunch, Monday-Saturday; Dinner, Sunday.

400 GM Renaissance Center, Detroit, 48243.

313.567.6700.

Angelina Italian Bistro: Italian. Dinner, Tuesday-Sunday. Reservations. Liquor. 1565 Broadway, Detroit, 48226. 313.962.1355.

Anita’s Kitchen: Middle Eastern. Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations. Beer & Wine.

22651 Woodward, Ferndale, 48220.

248.548.0680.

Ashoka Indian Cuisine: Indian. Multiple locations.

Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 3652 Rochester Road, Troy, 48083. 248.689.7070. 2100 Haggerty Road, Canton, 48187. 734.844.3100.

Assaggi Bistro: Mediterranean. Lunch, Tuesday-Friday; Dinner, Tuesday-Sunday.

Reservations. Liquor. 330 West 9 Mile Road, Ferndale, 48220. 248.584.3499.

Atlas Global Bistro: American. Brunch, Sunday. Lunch, Monday-Friday; Dinner,

Monday-Sunday. Reservations. Liquor. 3111 Woodward, Detroit, 48201. 313.831.2241.

Bacco: Italian. Lunch, Monday-Friday; Dinner, Monday-Saturday. Reservations. Liquor.

29410 Northwestern Highway, Southfield, 48034. 248.356.6600.

Barrio Tacos & Tequila: Mexican. Lunch, Monday-Friday; Dinner, daily.

No reservations. Liquor. 203 Hamilton Row, Birmingham, 48009. 248.593.6060. bd’s Mongolian Grill: Mongolian. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 430 South Main Street, Royal Oak, 48067.

248.398.7755.

Beans & Cornbread Soulful Bistro: Barbecue/Soul Food. Brunch, Sunday.

Lunch, Monday-Friday; Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 29508 Northwestern Highway, Southfield, 48034. 248.208.1680.

Beau Jacks: American. Lunch, MondaySaturday; Dinner, daily. No reservations.

Liquor. 4108 West Maple, Bloomfield Hills, 48301. 248.626.2630.

Bella Piatti: Italian. Dinner, Tuesday-Saturday.

Reservations. Liquor. 167 Townsend, Birmingham, 48009. 248.494.7110.

Beverly Hills Grill: American. Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations. Liquor.

31471 Southfield Road, Beverly Hills, 48025.

248.642.2355.

Big Rock Chophouse: American. Lunch & Dinner, Monday-Saturday. Reservations.

Liquor.

245 South Eaton Street, Birmingham, 48009. 248.647.7774.

Birmingham Sushi Cafe: Japanese. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. 377 Hamilton Row, Birmingham, 48009. 248.593.8880.

Bistro 222: European. Dinner, MondaySaturday. Reservations. Beer & Wine. 22266 Michigan Avenue, Dearborn, 48124.

313.792.7500.

BlackFinn American Saloon: American.

Lunch, Monday-Friday; Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 530 South Main Street, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.582.9460.

The Blue Nile: Ethiopian. Lunch & Dinner, Tuesday-Sunday. Reservations. Liquor. 221 East Washington, Ann Arbor, 48104.

734.998.4746. 545 West 9 Mile Road, Ferndale, 48220. 248.547.6699.

Blue Pointe Restaurant: Seafood. Dinner, Tuesday-Sunday. Reservations. Liquor.

17131 East Warren, Detroit, 48224.

313.882.3653.

Bombay Grille: Indian. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. 29200 Orchard Lake Road, Farmington Hills, 48334. 248.626.2982.

Bourbon Steak: Steakhouse. Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. MGM Grand Detroit, 1777 Third Street, Detroit, 48226.

313.465.1646.

Brio Tuscan Grille: Italian. Multiple locations.

Brunch, Saturday, Sunday. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 2801 West Big Beaver, Troy, 48084. 248.643.6045. Brunch, Sunday. Lunch & Dinner, daily. 17420 Hall Road, Clinton Township, 48315.

586.263.7310.

The Brookshire: American. Brunch, Saturday, Sunday. Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 600 East University, Rochester, 48307. 248.453.8732.

Bucci Ristorante: Italian. Dinner, TuesdaySunday. Reservations. Liquor. 20217 Mack, Grosse Pointe, 48236. 313.882.1044.

Café Cortina: Italian. Lunch & Dinner, MondayFriday; Dinner, Saturday. Reservations.

Liquor. 30715 West 10 Mile Road, Farmington Hills, 48336. 248.474.3033.

Café Muse: Eclectic. Breakfast & Lunch, daily.

Dinner, Tuesday-Saturday. Reservations.

Liquor. 418 South Washington, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.544.4749.

Cafe Nini: Italian. Dinner, daily. Reservations.

Liquor. 98 Kercheval, Grosse Pointe Farms, 48236. 313.308.3120.

Café Sushi: Sushi. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 1933 West Maple Road, Troy, 48084. 248.280.1831.

Café Via: American. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 310 East Maple Avenue, Birmingham, 48009. 248.644.8800 Cameron’s Steakhouse: American. Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 115 Willits Street, Birmingham, 48009. 248.723.1700.

The Capital Grille: Steakhouse. Lunch, Monday-Saturday; Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 2800 West Big Beaver, Somerset North, Troy, 48084. 248.649.5300.

Chen Chow Brasserie: Japanese. Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 260 North Old Woodward Avenue, Birmingham, 48009.

248.594.2469.

China Café: Chinese. Lunch & Dinner, TuesdaySunday. Reservations, parties of 5 or more.

Liquor. 24299 Novi Road, Novi, 48375.

248.449.4888.

Churchill’s Bistro & Cigar Bar: Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations. Liquor. 116 South Old Woodward Avenue, Birmingham, 48009.

248.647.4555.

City Kitchen: Seafood. Lunch, Monday-Friday; Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 16844 Kercheval, Grosse Pointe, 48230.

313.882.6667.

Cliff Bell’s: Eclectic. Brunch, Sunday. Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 2030 Park Avenue, Detroit, 48226. 313.961.2543.

Coach Insignia: American. Dinner, MondaySaturday. Reservations. Liquor. 100 Renaissance Center, Detroit, 48243.

313.567.2622.

Como’s: Italian. Brunch, Sunday. Lunch & Dinner, daily; Late night until 4 a.m.

Reservations, parties of 6 or more. Liquor.

22812 Woodward, Ferndale, 48220.

248.548.5005.

Cork Wine Pub: Small plates. Dinner, MondaySaturday. Reservations, parties of 6 or more.

Liquor. 23810 Woodward, Pleasant Ridge, 48069. 248.544.2675.

Crave Restaurant + Sushi Bar: Mediterranean. Dinner, Monday-Saturday.

Reservations. Liquor. 22075 Michigan Avenue, Dearborn, 48124. 313.277.7283.

Crispelli’s Bakery Pizzeria: Italian. Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations. Liquor. 28939 Woodward Avenue, Berkley, 48072.

248.591.3300.

Cuisine: American. Dinner, Tuesday-Sunday.

Reservations. Liquor. 670 Lothrop, Detroit, 48202. 313.872.5110.

The Cutting Board: American. Lunch, Monday-Saturday; Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 28655 Schoenherr, Warren, 48088. 586.751.1788.

D’Amato’s Restaurant: American. Brunch, Sunday.

Dinner, Monday-Saturday.

Reservations. Liquor. 222 South Sherman, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.584.7400.

A dish from Beau Jacks in Bloomfield Hills.

Xpress photo: Laurie Tennent

Da Edoardo: Italian.

Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 19767 Mack, Grosse Pointe Woods, 48236. 313.881.8540.

Da Edoardo Foxtown Grille: Italian. Lunch & Dinner, Monday-Saturday. Reservations.

Liquor. 2203 Woodward, Detroit, 48201.

313.471.3500.

Dakota Inn Rathskeller: German. Lunch, Wednesday-Friday; Dinner, ThursdaySaturday. Reservations. Liquor. 17324 John R, Detroit, 48203. 313.867.9722.

Da Nang Restaurant: Vietnamese. Lunch & Dinner, Tuesday-Saturday. Reservations.

Liquor. 1 South Main Street, Clawson, 48017. 248.577.5130.

Detroit Beer Company: American. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 1529 Broadway, Detroit, 48226. 313.962.1529.

Diamond Jim Brady’s Bistro Bar: American.

Brunch, Sunday. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations, Sunday-Thursday. Liquor.

43271 Crescent Blvd, Novi, 48375.

248.380.8460.

Due Venti: Italian. Dinner, Tuesday-Saturday.

Reservations. Liquor. 220 South Main Street, Clawson, 48017. 248.288.0220.

Edamame Sushi Nu-Asian Kitchen: Asian.

Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor.

31632 John R, Madison Heights, 48071.

248.597.4500.

El Barzon: Mexican/Italian. Lunch & Dinner, Tuesday-Friday; Dinner, Saturday, Sunday.

Reservations, on weekends. Liquor. 3710 Junction Street, Detroit, 48210.

313.894.2070.

Elie’s Mediterranean Cuisine: Mediterranean.

Lunch & Dinner, Monday-Saturday. No reservations. Liquor. 263 Pierce Street, Birmingham, 48009. 248.647.2420.

Eurasian Grill: Asian. Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 4771 Haggerty Road, West Bloomfield, 48323. 248.624.6109.

Evie’s Tamales: Mexican. Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations, parties of 7 or more. 3454 Bagley, Detroit, 48216.

313.843.5056.

Flemings Prime Steakhouse & Wine Bar: American. Dinner, daily. Reservations.

Liquor. 323 North Old Woodward Avenue, Birmingham, 48009. 248.723.0134.

The Fly Trap: American. Lunch & Dinner, Tuesday-Sunday. No reservations. 22950 Woodward, Ferndale, 48220. 248.399.5150.

The Fiddler: Russian. Lunch & Dinner, Thursday-Sunday. Reservations. Liquor.

6676 Orchard Lake Road, West Bloomfield Township, 48322. 248.851.8782.

Filippa’s Wine Barrel: Seafood/Steak. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 45125 Mound Utica, Shelby Township, 48317.

586.254.1311.

Fishbone’s Rhythm Kitchen Cafe: Cajun.

Multiple locations. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 400 Monroe Street, Detroit, 48226. 313.965.4600. 29244 Northwestern Highway, Southfield, 48034.

248.351.2925. 23722 Jefferson, St. Clair Shores, 48080. 586.498.3000.

Foran’s Grand Trunk Pub: Irish. Brunch, Saturday, Sunday. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 612 Woodward, Detroit, 48226. 313.961.3043.

Forest Grill: American. Lunch, Monday-Friday; Dinner, Monday-Saturday. Reservations.

Liquor. 735 Forest Avenue, Birmingham, 48009. 248.258.9400.

44

Xpress

Fountain Bistro: French. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 800 Woodward, Detroit, 48226. 313.237.7778.

Fox Grill: American. Sunday, brunch. Lunch, Monday-Friday; Dinner, daily. Reservations.

Liquor.

39556 Woodward Avenue, Bloomfield Hills, 48304. 248.792.6109.

Frittata: American. Breakfast & Lunch, Tuesday-Sunday. Reservations. 236 South Main Street, Clawson, 48017. 248.280.2552.

Gemmayze Lebanese Kitchen & Lounge: Middle Eastern. Lunch, Monday-Saturday; Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 310 S. Main St, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.399.4900.

Gim Ling: Asian. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. 31402 Harper, St. Clair Shores, 48082. 586.296.0070.

Ginopolis’ Bar-B-Q Smokehouse: Barbecue.

Lunch, Monday-Saturday; Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 27815 Middlebelt, Farmington Hills, 48334. 248.851.8222.

Giovanni’s Ristorante: Italian. Lunch & Dinner, Tuesday-Friday; Dinner, Saturday.

Reservations. Liquor. 330 S. Oakwood, Detroit, 48217. 313.841.0122.

Giulio’s Cucina Italiana: Italian. Lunch & Dinner, Monday-Friday; Dinner, Saturday, Sunday. Reservations. Liquor.

31735 Plymouth Road, Livonia, 48150.

734.427.9500.

Godaiko: Japanese. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 44175 West 12 Mile Road, Novi, 48377. 248.465.7777.

Golden Harvest: Chinese. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 6880 12 Mile Road, Warren, 48092. 586.751.5288.

The Hill Seafood & Chophouse: American.

Lunch & Dinner, Monday-Friday; Dinner, Saturday. Reservations, parties of 6 or more.

Liquor. 123 Kercheval, Grosse Pointe Farms, 48236. 313.886.8101.

Hot Taco: Mexican. Lunch & Dinner, daily; Late night until 2 a.m. No reservations. 2233 Park Avenue, Detroit, 48201. 313.963.4545.

Howe’s Bayou: Cajun. Lunch & Dinner, Monday-Saturday; Dinner, Sunday. No reservations. Liquor. 22848 Woodward, Ferndale, 48220. 248.691.7145.

Hyde Park Prime Steakhouse: American.

Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 201 South Old Woodward, Birmingham, 48009.

248.594.4369.

Inn Season Cafe: Vegetarian. Lunch & Dinner, Tuesday-Sunday. Reservations, parties of 6 or more. 500 E Fourth, Royal Oak, 48067.

248.547.7916.

Inyo Restaurant & Lounge: Asian. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations, parties of 10 or more. Liquor. 22871 Woodward, Ferndale, 48220. 248.543.9500.

Jeremy Restaurant & Bar: Seasonal. Dinner, Tuesday-Sunday. Reservations. Liquor. 1978 Cass Lake Road, Keego Harbor, 48320.

248.681.2124.

Joe Muer Seafood: Seafood. Lunch, MondayFriday; Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor.

400 Renaissance Center, Detroit, 48243.

313.567.6837.

Joe Vicari’s Andiamo Italian Steakhouse: Italian. Multiple locations. Lunch & Dinner, Monday-Friday; Dinner, Saturday, Sunday.

Reservations. Liquor. 6676 Telegraph Road, Bloomfield Hills, 48301. 248.865.9300.

21400 Michigan Avenue, Dearborn, 48124.

313.359.3300.

Jumps Restaurant: American. Breakfast,

december 2012

ROOSTERTAIL FAIRYTAIL WEDDINGS

TM

CELEBRATE YOUR WEDDING DAY AT DETROIT’S PREMIERE CATERING FACILITY

YOU’RE OUTVited. Allow us to sweep you off your feet in one of our three glass enclosed rooms with panoramic views of the Detroit River, Belle Isle, and the new Downtown skyline. Let us dazzle you with our extravagant decor, mouth-watering food, and awe inspiring atmosphere.

Let us enchant you and your guests on your Magical Day: Traditional or Buffet Style Dinner 4.5 Hour Premium Open Bar Fabulous Floor Length Linens Famous Dancing Fountains Stunning Table Centerpieces Show Stopping LED Lights Luxurious Chiavari Chairs Plenty of Lit Parking Tax and Gratuity

Package Price $99*

ROOSTERTAIL 313-822-1234 *Seasonal and day of the week discounts available.

Expires 12-13-2012

AT THE TABLE

Phoenicia leads Birmingham dining with remarkable style

purveyor delivery service. Since I demand the highest quality for meat and produce, I pick it out myself and drive it back to the restaurant.”

lamb is ground to order with onions and herbs, then mixed with cracked wheat and seasoning. It can also be ordered as Baked Kibby $22.

Top Lebanese best sellers Mezza, Lebanese for appetizers or small plates, could if chosen, satisfy a larger group with many

Broiler specialties Although lamb is closely associated with Lebanese cooking, Eid knows that not everyone likes lamb, even though he serves the highest quality. Thus, 17 years ago, he introduced baby back ribs $25, on Phoenicia’s menu. They are now the number one seller. Baby backs are seasoned with a housemade dry rub and tangy housemade tomato-based sauce on the side.

Special cut, trimmed and charbroiled lamb chops $36, are unbeatable. Sweetbreads are another charbroiled delicacy sautéed in a butter-garlic, shallot sauce.

Although Phoenicia is not a steakhouse, the Bonein Rib Eye is succulent and frequently ordered.

Lunch is a shortened version of the dinner menu and includes sandwiches. A half slab of Baby Back Ribs is $15, and a very satisfying mid-day reprieve.

Wine is an ideal accompaniment to Lebanese cuisine and specialties such as ribs and bone-in rib eye. Phoenicia’s list includes a number of import favorites, but entices with top-rated Lebanese bottlings from the Bekaa Valley: Massaya 2008 “Gold Reserve” $58, and the heralded Chateau Musar 2002 $98. Chateau Ksara 2009 “Cuvée Speciale” is a Bordeaux style blend.

By Eleanor Heald

B

irmingham’s dining attraction is truly anchored in its long-established and successful restaurants. Phoenicia is at the top.

Proprietor and chef, 72-year-old Sameer Eid, rightly viewed as the area’s dean of Lebanese cuisine, set his sights on Birmingham in 1982. A renovation in this the 30th anniversary year brought renewed attention to this keystone of area dining. “Business is flourishing,” Eid remarks.

Does this indicate an improved economy? “It might,” says Eid. “However, I believe there are other factors, including my 32-year-old son Samy, who is now an integral part of the business. He’s attracted his peers, a whole new generation discovering Phoenicia. A remodel with an enhanced street presence, a more open look and increased natural light gives the restaurant a totally different appeal. We have many of the same regular clientele, but they are coming in more often.”

Another element to notice is that at this white tablecloth venue, it is possible to have a conversation with anyone at a table seating of six or eight. Acoustical insulation is top of the line.

Elements of success Eid points to three elements of his success: Dedication to hard work, a loyal and loving clientele and a no compromise philosophy when it comes to food quality.

This translates to following a long tradition with Lebanese cuisine, which uses only extra virgin olive oil, clarified butter and USDA Choice and Prime lamb. Up at 5 a.m. three times weekly, Eid drives his van to the Detroit Produce Terminal at Springwells and Fort Street in Detroit. All produce coming to Michigan starts at the Terminal before further distribution. Eid picks up at the source.

“I do not,” he affirms, “have restaurant Lunch & Dinner, Tuesday-Saturday; Breakfast & Lunch, Sunday. Reservations. Liquor. 63 Kercheval Avenue, Grosse Pointe Farms, 48236. 313.882.9555.

Kiernan’s Steak House: Steakhouse. Lunch, Monday-Friday; Dinner, daily. Reservations.

Liquor. 21931 Michigan Avenue, Dearborn, 48124. 313.565.4260.

Kitchen Hanzo: Japanese. Dinner, MondaySaturday. No reservations. Liquor. 6073 Haggerty Road, West Bloomfield Township, 48322. 248.624.8666.

xpressmi.com

Proprietor and chef Sameer Eid with home made "pepper vodka". Xpress photo: Laurie Tennent

dishes to share. Of the 16 mezza selections at dinner ($9-$17), nine are vegan. But if you are a meat lover, try the sausages.

All sausages are house made from veal and lamb in natural casing with pine nuts sautéed and seasoned with pomegranate sauce. Sujuk is a highly seasoned Armenian sausage sautéed with lemon sauce. Bastorma is highly seasoned beef fillet, cured and served thinly sliced. Hashwi is lamb and onion with pine nuts.

Now that the weather is cooler, Lentil Soup $5, is a warming treat. Lentils are cooked with fresh carrots, spinach, onions, dill and other special herbs. Chicken & Rice Soup $6, is satisfying.

Among main course specialties are Kibby Neyee (raw lamb) $26 or $17, for a half order. Lean and tender

Kona Grill: Asian. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 30 East Big Beaver, Troy, 48083. 248-619-9060.

Kruse & Muer on Main: American. Brunch, Sunday. Lunch, Monday-Saturday; Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 327 South Main Street, Rochester, 48307. 248.652.9400.

La Dolce Vita: Italian. Brunch, Sunday. Lunch, Tuesday-Friday; Dinner, Tuesday-Sunday.

Reservations. Liquor. 17546 Woodward, Detroit, 48203. 313.865.0331.

La Pita: Middle Eastern. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Concluding thoughts…

I asked Sameer, why he never opened a second Phoenicia in another suburban community? “There aren’t two of me,” he answered quickly. “I’m happy with one successful business.”

Phoenicia, 588 S Old Woodward Ave., Birmingham, 248.644.3122. Monday-Thursday 11:30 a.m.-10 p.m., Friday until 11 p.m. Saturday 5:30-11 p.m. and Sunday 5-9 p.m. Reservations recommended – a must on Friday and Saturday. Parking: on premise lot.

Eleanor Heald is a nationally published writer who also writes the wine column in a double byline with her husband Ray for Xpress. Suggestions for Quick Bites section can be e-mailed to QuickBites@downtownpublications.com.

Reservations, parties of 8 or more. Liquor.

22681 Newman Street, Dearborn, 48124.

313.563.7482.

La Saj Lebanese Bistro: Middle Eastern.

Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor.

13776 Southcove, Sterling Heights, 48313.

586.566.6600.

La Shish: Middle Eastern. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. 12918 Michigan Avenue, Dearborn, 48126. 313.582.8400.

The Lark: French. Dinner, Tuesday-Saturday.

Reservations, required. Liquor. 6430

Xpress

Farmington Road, West Bloomfield Township, 48322. 248.661.4466.

Lily’s Seafood Grill and Brewery: Seafood.

Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations, parties of 6 or more. Liquor. 410 South Washington Avenue, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.591.5459.

Local Kitchen and Bar: American. Dinner, daily. Reservations, parties of 5 or more.

Liquor. 344 West 9 Mile Road, Ferndale, 48220. 248-291-5650.

Lockhart’s BBQ: Barbecue. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations, parties of 8 or more.

47

FOCUS ON WINE

Best wines for the holiday season in range of prices

By Eleanor and Ray Heald

H

oliday entertaining begins in November. If you’ve counted the weekends until New Year’s, you already know that number is nine. The good news: you really don’t need to create a theme – the season does that for you. However, you do need to plan menus – sit down dinner or walk-around with finger foods. And then, there are cocktail and/or wine selections.

We’re here to help with the latter in a range of price options.

Shafer Vineyards Wine on Line indicates that U.S. consumers drink 50 million cases of chardonnay annually. So, let’s start with America’s favorite wine – chardonnay.

2011 Kenwood Sonoma County $15 offers a big bang for the buck.

2010 Jordan Russian River Valley $29 – full fruit expression.

2010 Migration Russian River Valley $30 has stone fruit and tangy lemon custard flavors.

2010 Patz & Hall Sonoma Coast $35 – vibrant great value.

2009 MacRostie Wildcat Mountain $35 – nicely rich.

2010 Marimar Estate “La Masia” $35 – lingering finish.

2010 Patz & Hall Dutton Ranch Russian River Valley $42 – spicy tropical peach and roasted almonds.

2008 Marimar Torres Don Miguel Vineyard Dobles Lias $45 – extraordinarily well balanced.

2009 Sea Smoke, Santa Rita Hills $52 – exceptionally elegant.

2010 Patz & Hall Carneros $55 – rich and unctuous.

A French counterpart to domestic chardonnay is French chablis. With the following trio, intensity increases with price.

2010 Domaine Laroche Saint Martin $23.

2009 Domaine Laroche Premier Cru Les Vaudevey $39.

Liquor. 202 East Third Street, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.584.4227.

The London Chop House: Steakhouse. Lunch & Dinner, Monday-Friday; Dinner, Saturday.

Reservations. Liquor. 155 West Congress, Detroit, 48226. 313.962.0277.

Loon River Café: American. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 34911 15 Mile Road, Sterling Heights, 48312. 586.979.1420.

Los Galane’s Restaurant: Mexican. Breakfast, Friday-Sunday; Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 3362 Bagley, Detroit, 48216. 313.554.4444.

48

2009 Domaine Laroche Premier Cru Les Vaillons Vielles Vignes $49.

Because of its generally lower alcohol, German riesling is a perfect aperitif. From Schloss Vollrads, likely the oldest winery in the world (dating to 1211), and from 2011 vintage are: Riesling QbA dry $20, Riesling medium dry $20, and Riesling Kabinett, medium dry $25.

Three of California’s top red blends are showcased below.

2009 Paraduxx Napa Valley Red Wine Z Blend $48.

2009 Paraduxx Napa Valley Red Wine C Blend $48.

2009 Chalk Hill Estate Red $70.

The most appealing quality of pinot noir is its soft, velvety texture. The following are intriguing, complex wines.

2010 Rodney Strong Russian River Valley Pinot Noir $20 is an outstanding wine at this price.

2010 Talbott Kali Hart $21 has crisp red fruit flavors.

2010 Talbott “Logan” $25 has rich berry flavors and hints of smoky vanilla.

2009 Judd’s Hill Milliken Creek Vineyard $34.

2009 Marimar Estate La Masia $39.

2010 Talbott Sleepy Hollow Vineyard $40.

2008 Marimar Estate Mas Cavalls $44.

2010 Patz & Hall Sonoma Coast $45.

2008 Marimar Estate “Earthquake Block” $47.

2008 Marimar Estate “Christina” Don Miguel Vineyard $49.

2010 Morgan Double L Vineyard $50.

2010 Patz & Hall Chenoweth Ranch Russian River Valley $55.

California’s attraction to Rhone varietals is often bested by those from Beckmen. The following are two great examples.

2010 Beckmen Cuvée le Bec $18 is a delicious

Luxe Bar & Grill: American. Lunch & Dinner, daily; Late night, 9 p.m.-closing. No reservations. Liquor. 525 North Old Woodward Avenue, Birmingham, 48009.

248.792.6051.

Mario’s Restaurant: Italian. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 4222 Second, Detroit, 48201. 313.832.1616.

The Masters Restaurant: Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. 1775 East 13 Mile Road, Madison Heights, 48071. 248.543.6299.

Mene Sushi: Japanese. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations, parties of 8 or more. Liquor.

blend of syrah, grenache, mourvedre and counoise.

2010 Beckmen Estate Grenache $30 is 100 percent varietal.

Top cuts of beef deserve masterfully made cabernet sauvignon.

2010 Justin Paso Robles $26.

2008 William Hill Napa Valley $35.

2008 Jordan Alexander Valley $52.

2008 Judd’s Hill Kairos Vineyard $55.

2009 Rodney Strong Symmetry $55.

2009 Grgich Hills Napa Valley $60.

2008 Kenwood Artist Series $60.

2009 Duckhorn Napa Valley $68.

2009 Rodney Strong Alexander’s Crown $75.

A pasta dish will be complemented by either of these Italian wines.

2008 Castello di Volpaia Chianti Classico Riserva DOCG $27.

2007 Nozzole Vigneto la Forra Chianti Classico Riserva DOCG $50.

French varietals are among the best values in the marketplace today.

2009 Jean-Luc Colombo “Les Abeilles” Cotes du Rhone AOC Blanc $12.

2010 Laroche Sauvignon Blanc de la Chevaliere $12.

2011 Laroche Rosé $12 – a colorful accompaniment to a holiday buffet.

2010 Laroche Bourgogne Tete de Cuvée $18.

Among liquid desserts, it’s hard to beat a luscious Port.

Cockburn’s Special Reserve $18 – red cherry fruit and attractive back notes of spice.

Graham’s 10-year Tawny $34– nicely fruited and elegant.

Eleanor & Ray Heald have contributed to numerous international publications including the Quarterly Review of Wines. Contact them by e-mail at focusonwine@aol.com.

6239 Orchard Lake Road, West Bloomfield, 48322. 248.538.7080.

Mercury Burger & Bar: American. Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations. Liquor. 2163 Michigan Avenue, Detroit, 48216.

313.964.5000.

Meriwether’s: Seafood. Lunch & Dinner, Monday-Saturday; Dinner, Sunday.

Reservations. Liquor. 25485 Telegraph, Southfield, 48034. 248.358.1310.

McCormick & Schmick’s Seafood: Seafood.

Lunch & Dinner, Monday-Sunday.

Reservations. Liquor. 2850 Coolidge

Xpress

Highway, Troy, 48084. 248.637.6400.

Midtown Shangri-La: Chinese. Lunch & Dinner, Monday-Saturday. Reservations.

Liquor. 4710 Cass, Detroit, 48201.

313.974.7669.

Michael Symon’s Roast: American. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 1128 Washington Blvd, Detroit, 48226.

313.961.2500.

Mitchell’s Fish Market: Seafood. Multiple locations.

Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 117 Willits Street, Birmingham, 48009. 248.646.3663. 17600

december 2012

Haggerty Road, Livonia, 48152.

734.464.3663. 370 North Adams, Rochester Hills, 48309. 248.340.5900.

Mon Jin Lau: Chinese. Lunch & Dinner, Monday-Friday; Dinner, Saturday, Sunday.

Reservations. Liquor. 1515 East Maple Troy, 48083. 248.689.2332.

Monterrey Cantina: Mexican. Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations. Liquor. 312 South Main Street, Royal Oak, 48067 .

248.545.1940.

The Moose Preserve Bar & Grill: American.

Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations.

Liquor. 2395 South Woodward Avenue, Bloomfield Hills, 48302. 248.858.7688.

Morton’s The Steakhouse: Steakhouse.

Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 888 West Big Beaver Road #111, Troy, 48084.

248.404.9845.

Moti Mahal Indian Restaurant: Indian. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor allowed.

411 South Washington, Royal Oak, 48067.

248.298.3198.

Northern Lakes Seafood Co.: Seafood. Lunch, Monday-Friday; Dinner, daily.

No reservations. Liquor. 39495 North Woodward Avenue, Bloomfield Hills, 48304.

248.646.7900.

No VI Chop House: Seafood/Steakhouse.

Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 27000 Karevich Drive, Novi, 48377. 248.305.5210.

Oak City Grille: American. Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 212 West Sixth Street, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.556.0947.

Ocean Prime: Seafood. Lunch & Dinner, Monday-Friday; Dinner, Saturday, Sunday.

Reservations. Liquor. 2915 Coolidge Highway, Troy, 48084. 248.458.0500.

Ollie’s Lebanese Cuisine: Middle Eastern.

Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor.

33355 Van Dyke, Sterling Heights, 48312.

586-978-2000.

Opus One: American. Lunch, Monday-Friday; Dinner, Monday-Saturday. Reservations.

Liquor. 565 East Larned Street, Detroit, 48226. 313.961.7766.

Oxford Inn: American. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 1214 South Main Street, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.543.5619.

Peabody’s: American. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 34965 Woodward Avenue, Birmingham, 48009. 248.644.5222.

Pegasus Tavernas: Greek. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 24935 Jefferson, St. Clair Shores, 48080. 586.772.3200.

Pete’s Place Broadway Café: European.

Brunch, Saturday, Sunday. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. 1225 Woodward Heights Boulevard, Ferndale, 48220. 248.399.1366.

Phoenicia: Middle Eastern. Lunch, MondayFriday; Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor.

588 South Old Woodward Avenue, Birmingham, 48009. 248.644.3122.

Pizzeria Biga: Italian. Multiple locations.

Lunch, Monday-Friday; Dinner, MondaySunday. Reservations, parties of 8 or more.

Liquor. 29110 Franklin Road, Southfield, 48034. 248.750.2442. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

No reservations. 711 South Main Street, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.544.2442.

P.F. Chang’s China Bistro: Chinese. Multiple locations.

Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 2801 West Big Beaver, Troy, 48084. 248.816.8000. 17905 Haggerty Road, Northville Township, 48167.

xpressmi.com

248.675.0066. 17420 Hall Road, Clinton Township, 48038. 586.263.0860. 18900 Michigan Avenue, Dearborn, 48126.

313.429.2030.

Polish Village Cafe: Polish. Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations. Liquor. 2990 Yemans, Hamtramck, 48212. 313.874.5726.

Pronto!: American. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations, parties of 6 or more. Liquor.

608 South Washington, Royal Oak, 48067.

248.544.7900.

The Rattlesnake Club: American. Lunch, Tuesday-Friday; Dinner, Tuesday-Saturday.

Reservations. Liquor. 300 River Place Detroit, 48207. 313.567.4400.

Redcoat Tavern: American. Multiple locations.

Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations.

Liquor. 31542 Woodward Royal Oak, 48073.

248.549.0300. Lunch & Dinner, MondaySaturday. 6745 Orchard Lake Road, West Bloomfield Township, 48322. 248.865.0500.

Red Smoke Barbeque Restaurant: Barbecue.

Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor.

573 Monroe Street, Detroit, 48226.

313.962.2100.

Roadside B & G: American. Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations. Liquor. 1727 South Telegraph Road, Bloomfield Hills, 48302.

248.858.7270.

Rochester Chop House & Oyster Bar: American. Lunch, Monday-Friday; Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 306 Main Street, Rochester, 48307. 248.651.2266.

Roma Café: Italian. Lunch & Dinner, MondaySaturday. Reservations. Liquor. 3401 Riopelle Street, Detroit, 48207.

313.831.5940.

Ronin Sushi Bar: Japanese. Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 325 West Fourth Street, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.546.0888.

The Royal Oak Brewery: American. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations, parties of 6 or more. Liquor. 215 East Fourth Street, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.544.1141.

The Rugby Grille: American. Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 100 Townsend Street, Birmingham, 48009.

248.642.5999.

Russell Street Deli: American. Breakfast & Lunch, Monday-Saturday. No reservations.

2465 Russell Street, Detroit, 48207.

313.567.2900.

Ruth’s Chris Streak House: Steakhouse.

Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. #151 755 West Big Beaver, Troy, 48084. 248.269.8424.

Salvatore Scallopini: Italian. Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations. Beer & Wine. 505 North Old Woodward Avenue, Birmingham, 48009. 248.644.8977.

Sangria: Spanish. Lunch, Tuesday-Friday; Dinner, Tuesday-Sunday. Reservations.

Liquor. 401 South Lafayette, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.543.1964.

Seva Detroit: Vegetarian. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations, Sunday-Thursday. Liquor.

66 E Forest, Detroit, 48201. 313.974.6661.

Shangri-La Chinese Restaurant: Chinese.

Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations, parties of 6 or more. Liquor. 6407 Orchard Lake Road, West Bloomfield Township, 48322.

248.626.8585.

Shangri-La Garden: Asian. Lunch & Dinner, Tuesday-Sunday. Reservations. Liquor.

27626 Middlebelt Road, Farmington Hills, 48334. 248.474.8183.

Shogun Chinese & Japanese Bistro: Asian.

Lunch, Monday-Saturday; Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 23195 Marter, St. Clair Shores, 48080. 586.350.0927.

Sindbad’s at the River: Seafood. Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations. Liquor. 100 St. Clair, Detroit, 48214. 313.822.7817.

Slows Bar BQ: Barbecue. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations, parties of 6 or more.

Liquor. 2138 Michigan Avenue, Detroit, 48216. 313.962.9828.

Small Plates Detroit: American. Brunch, Sunday. Lunch & Dinner, Monday-Saturday.

Reservations. Liquor. 1521 Broadway, Detroit, 48226. 313.963.0702.

Social Kitchen & Bar: American. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations, parties of 5 or more. Liquor. 225 East Maple Road, Birmingham, 48009. 248.594.4200.

Sposita’s Ristorante: Italian. Lunch, MondayFriday; Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor.

33210 West 14 Mile Road, West Bloomfield Township, 48322. 248.538.8954.

Stage Deli: American. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 6873 Orchard Lake Road, West Bloomfield, 48322.

248.855.6622.

Steve’s Backroom: Middle Eastern. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations, parties of 6 or more. Liquor. 24317 Jefferson, St. Clair Shores, 48080. 586.774.9337.

Steve’s Deli: Deli. Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations. 6646 Telegraph Road, Bloomfield Hills, 48301. 248.932.0800.

Sweet Lorraine’s Café & Bar: American.

Multiple locations. Brunch, Sunday. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 29101 Greenfield, Southfield, 48076. 248.559.5985.

17100 North Laurel Park Dr., Livonia, 48152.

734.953.7480.

Streetside Seafood: Seafood. Lunch, MondayFriday; Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor.

273 Pierce Street, Birmingham, 48009.

248.645.9123.

Sushi Hana: Japanese. Lunch, Monday-Friday; Dinner, Monday-Saturday. Reservations.

42656 Woodward Avenue, Bloomfield Hills, 48304. 248.333.3887.

Tallulah Wine Bar and Bistro: American.

Sunday, brunch. Dinner, Monday-Saturday.

Reservations. Liquor. 55 South Bates Street, Birmingham, 48009. 248.731.7066.

TAP at MGM Grand Detroit: American. Lunch & Dinner, Thursday-Sunday; Dinner, MondayWednesday; Late night until 2 a.m., daily. No reservations. Liquor. 1777 Third Street, Detroit, 48226. 313.465.1234.

Thai Basil: Thai. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 37273 6 Mile Road, Livonia, 48152. 734.464.5934.

Thai Orchid Cuisine: Thai. Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations. 60 Cherry Street, Mount Clemens, 48043. 586.783.1727.

T.N. Thai Bistro: Thai/Sushi. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Beer & Wine. 17100 Kercheval Avenue, Grosse Pointe, 48230.

313.885.2695.

Toast: American. Multiple locations. Breakfast & Lunch, daily; Dinner, Monday-Saturday.

Reservations. Liquor. 203 Pierce Street, Birmingham, 48009. 248.258.6278.

Breakfast, Monday-Sunday.

No Reservations. 23144 Woodward, Ferndale, 48220. 248.398.0444.

Toasted Oak Grill & Market: American.

Xpress

Brunch, Saturday, Sunday. Breakfast & Lunch, Monday-Friday; Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 27790 Novi Road, Novi, 48377. 248.277.6000.

Tom’s Oyster Bar: Seafood. Multiple locations.

Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor.

318 South Main Street, Royal Oak, 48067.

248.541.1186. Lunch & Dinner, MondaySaturday. 519 East Jefferson Avenue, Detroit, 48226. 313.964.4010.

Townhouse: American. Brunch, Saturday, Sunday. Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations. Liquor. 180 Pierce Street, Birmingham, 48009. 248.792.5241.

Town Tavern: American. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 116 West 4th Street, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.544.7300.

Traffic Jam & Snug: American. Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations. Liquor. 511 West Canfield Street, Detroit, 48201. 313.831.9470.

Tre Monti: Italian. Lunch, Tuesday-Friday; Dinner, Tuesday-Sunday. Reservations.

Liquor. 1695 East Big Beaver Road, Troy, 48083. 248.680.1100.

Union Street Saloon: American. Brunch, Sunday. Lunch, Monday-Friday; Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 4145 Woodward Avenue, Detroit, 48201. 313.831.3965.

Vincente’s Cuban Cuisine: Cuban. Lunch & Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor. 1250 Library Street, Detroit, 48226. 313.962.8800.

Vince’s: Italian. Lunch, Tuesday-Friday; Dinner, Tuesday-Sunday. Reservations. Liquor. 1341 Springwells Street, Detroit, 48209.

313.842.4857.

Vinotecca: Wine Bar. Dinner, daily. No reservations. Liquor. 417 South Main Street, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.544.6256.

Vinsetta Grill: American. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

No reservations. Liquor. 28028 Woodward, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.543.2626.

Vivio’s Food & Spirits: American. Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations. Liquor. 2460 Market Street, Detroit, 48207. 313.393.1711.

Volare Ristorante: Italian Steakhouse. Lunch, Monday-Friday; Dinner, daily. Reservations.

Liquor. 49115 Pontiac Trail, Wixom, 48393.

248.960.7771.

Wasabi Korean & Japanese Cuisine: Korean/Japanese. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 15 East Kirby, Woodward, Detroit, 48202. 313.638.1272.

Waves: Cuban/Hawaiian. Lunch & Dinner, daily.

Reservations. Liquor. 24223 Jefferson, St. Clair Shores, 48080. 586.773.3279.

What Crepe?: French. Multiple Locations.

Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner, TuesdaySaturday, Breakfast & Lunch, Sunday. No reservations. 172 North Old Woodward, Birmingham, 48009. 248.792.5634. Lunch & Dinner, Tuesday-Sunday. No reservations.

Liquor. 317 South Washington, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.629.9391.

The Whitney: American. Lunch, MondayFriday; Dinner, daily. Reservations. Liquor.

4421 Woodward Avenue, Detroit, 48124.

313.832.5700.

Zazios: Italian. Dinner, daily. Reservations.

Liquor.

34977 Woodward Avenue, Birmingham, 48009. 248.530.6400.

Zúmba Mexican Grille: Mexican. Multiple locations. Lunch & Dinner, daily. No reservations. 304 North Main Street, Royal Oak, 48067. 248.542.1400. 163 West Maple Road, Birmingham, 48009. 248.792.2775.

49

VIEWS FROM INSIDE

Election a clarion call for gay rights

N

ovember's general election across the country was a signal to those who have aligned themselves along the more right wing of the Republican Party that the time of intolerance for those who are not a carbon copy of themselves—meaning straight, white males–is over. Both gay and straight voters affirmed that choosing the best person for the job was their primary concern in four separate elections, that they were willing to accept a gay person to represent them as their governmental official, and same-sex marriage prevailed in the states where it was on the ballots.

All in all, it was a good night for those who champion gay rights.

Despite being considered the frontrunner in the senate election, and his history as a popular Wisconsin governor who later served as President George W. Bush's Health and Human Services Secretary, Republican Tommy Thompson was defeated by Rep. Tammy Baldwin (D-Wisconsin) to become the country's first openly-gay U.S. Senator. What many considered even more heartening than her election was that her sexuality was basically a non-issue during the campaign. “ I didn't run to make history," she was quoted as saying on election night. "I ran to make a difference; a difference in the lives of families struggling to find work and pay the bills, a difference in the lives of students worried about debt and seniors worried about their retirement security, a difference in the lives of veterans who fought for us and need someone fighting for them and their families when they return home from war, a difference in the lives of entrepreneurs trying to build a business and working people trying to build some economic security."

It sounds like a winning candidate, concerned with his or her constituents, gay or straight, which is exactly the point.

In the House of Representatives, at least six openly gay or bisexual individuals were elected from a variety of states, and another seven were elected to their state legislatures. In Oregon and Colorado, two gay legislators are even positioned to potentially become their state's House Speakers.

Same-sex marriage has not been successful on state ballots in the past, where voters have previously chosen to ban same-sex marriage (including in Michigan), yet on November 6, 2012, four states changed course. Voters in Maine, Washington state and Maryland all saw voters approve same-sex marriage, and in Minnesota, voters rejected a measure that would have banned same-sex

marriage. It was considered a historic shift in voters' attitudes towards gay marriage and gay rights.

All of the measures are for civil marriages only. Both Maine and Maryland's measures explicitly allow for the right of clergy to refuse to wed gay and lesbian couples if it goes against their religious convictions.

Previous states, such as Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire and New York, along with Washington D.C., where gays and lesbians have the right to marry, were all given that right by judges or legislators, rather than by voters.

Yet, still the battle perseveres because 38 states have passed bans on marriages between people of the same gender, mostly by amending their constitutions to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman. It is expected that the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) will be challenged in the U.S. Supreme Court during this year's session.

But with this election, the clarion call is loud, and it is clear. Those who seek to legislate who someone can love and spend their life with should be warned they should be in retreat. As this election has demonstrated, voters of all persuasions recognize that they respect the choices consensual adults make for themselves.

Of course, we all know this has been coming for ages. It's just taken everybody else a while to catch up. Straight people had to get to know us. At least that's what they've told pollsters, and why pollsters have determined that support has grown so much among everyday Americans over the years. For example, in the 1990s most Americans told pollsters who asked that they didn't know anyone close to them who was gay. By 2010, the number of Americans who said they had a close friend or relative who was gay or lesbian was 49 percent. This year, just two years later, that number is 60 percent. And it can't all be from watching Will & Grace or Glee.

The reality is they're getting to know us, and accepting us, for the most part, for who we are. And the straight world, by and large, is discovering they're OK with us. They'll let some represent them (and us) in Congress and in the Senate, and in some states, they'll let us get married.

The election was evidence of the shifting attitude towards gays and lesbians. There is still backlash and attempts to block our rights. But it's clear we're getting somewhere. And that's more than just a start. We're just not yet at the finish line.

WEAR YOUR LOVE FOREVER

W H I T E G O L D & P L AT I N U M W E D D I N G B A N D S & D I A M O N D R I N G S

248.644.1651 | 120 WEST MAPLE RD. | DOWNTOWN BIRMINGHAM

Creative Jewelers

HOURS: MON - SAT 10 - 5:30 | THURS 10 - 8 | WWW.ASTREINS.COM