Dan's Papers June 8, 2007 by Dan's Papers

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DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 4

BRIDGEHAMPTON

H A M P T O N B AY S

SAG H A R B O R

WAT E R M I L L

Open House • Sun., June 10 • 1-2:30pm 41 Hildreth Avenue. Bridgehampton. $1,295,000 Two story, 3 BR, 2 BA home designed by Eugene Futterman. It showcases an open LR filled with sunlight, FP & floor to ceiling glass doors. Renovation includes new siding, front/rear decking. Close to ocean beaches & Village. Exclusive. #54607 Dir: Montauk Hwy. to Ocean Rd., left on Sagaponack Rd., 1st left on Hildreth Ave. Bridgehampton Office 631.537.5900

Open House • Sat., & Sun., June 9 & 10 • 11am-1pm 5 Emily Court, Hampton Bays. $1,200,000 View 6 quality crafted homes, w/4BR, pool, garages, on shy acres. Exclusive. #58412 Dir. Sunrise Hwy to exit 65N, right at 1st light Old Riverhead Rd., left on Squires Blvd, 1ST right on Hampton Bays Office 631.723.2721 Emily Ct.

Open House • Sun. June 10 • 1-3pm 58 Romana Drive, Hampton Bays. $575,000 3 BRs, 2 BAs, dining area with den, LR, & laundry room off kit. Exclusive. #61217 Dir. Montauk Hwy to West Tiana Rd., left on Romana Dr. Hampton Bays Office 631.723.2721

Open House • Sat., & Sun., June 9 & 10 • 11am-5pm 99 Cresent Street, Sag Harbor. $1,995,000 Enjoy the panoramic waterviews from this 1 story home offering 2 BRs, 1.5 BAs and detached studio/garage. 100’ bulkheading with private beach and deep water for swimming or boating. Close to Village. Exclusive. #60855 Dir: Noyac Road, Left on Whitney Rd, take to end to Crescent St Bridgehampton Office 631.537.5900

Open House • Sat. & Sun. June 9 & 10 • 2:30-4:30pm 6 Whispering Fields Ct., Water Mill. $2,635,000 5,400 sq. ft. Traditional home offering 6 BRs, 6.5 BAs, FDR, 2 FPLs gourmet KIT, CAC, full basement, 2-car garage, & gunite pool. Exclusive. #53003 Dir: Montauk Hwy to Deerfield Rd. north, right on Head of Pond Rd., left to Whispering Fields Ct. Bridgehampton Office 631.537.5900

Open House • Sat. & Sun., June 9 & 10 •12-2pm 63 Tansey Lane, Bridgehampton. $1,495,000 New 2,800 sq. ft. home sits on a .43 acre & backs a reserve w/4 BRs, 2.5 BAs EIK, hardwood floors & FPs on each side of the house, deck overlooks pool. Exclusive. #58843 Dir: 27 East left on Brigehampton Tpke, right on Woodruff, right on Tansey Ln. Bridgehampton Office 631.537.5900

Open House • Sat. June 9 • 1-3pm 34A Woodridge Road, Hampton Bays. $425,000 Peaceful ranch on quiet street, featuring 3 BRs,1 BA & partial finished basement. Exclusive #61157 Dir. Wakeman or Lynn to Woodridge. Hampton Bays Office 631.723.2721

Open House • Sun. June 10 • 1-3pm 42 Lovell Road, Hampton Bays. $405,000 2 BRs, 2 BAs, deck, 1-car gar., partial basement & den w/FP. Exclusive #60899 Dir. Montauk Hwy. to Ponquogue, left on Lyncliff, right on Wakeman, left on Riverdale, left on Lovell, house is corner of Lynn & Lovell. Hampton Bays Office 631.723.2721 Open House • Sun. June 10 • 1-3pm 45A Bellows Terrace Rd., Hampton Bays. $690,000 Large 4 BRs, 2 BAs, Ranch home w/fenced yard, heated gunite pool & 2 car garage. Exclusive #61145 Dir. Rt 24 south, right on Montauk Hwy. make left on Terrace Rd, make right on Bellows Terrace Rd. house on left. Hampton Bays Office 631.723.2721

EAST HAMPTON

Open House • Sat., June 9 • 1-3 pm 77 Northside Drive, Sag Harbor. $1,595,000 Traditional home on 1 acre in multi million dollar neighborhood features on the first floor 1 BR with BA, EIK, DR & family room and the second level offers 2 master BRs w/BAs & guest room. Also includes 2-car garage & pool. Exclusive #46248. Dir: North on North Sea Rd., right on Noyac Rd., right on Northside Hills (sign) English Garden Lane, right on Northside Drive. Southampton Office 631.283.4343

SOUTHAMPTON

Open House • Sat., & Sun., June 9 & 10 • 12-2pm 14 Southampton Hills Ct., Southampton. $2,950,000 Two story 6,000 sq. ft. Traditional home features 5 BRs, 6.5 BAs, FDR and EIK. Amenities include: CAC, 4 FPLs & 2 car garage w/1,200 sq. ft. bonus room. The 1.26 acres of natural landscape surround the gunite pool with flagstone patio. CoExclusive. #50747 Dir: Montauk Hwy east thru Water Mill, left onto Deerfield Rd., left onto Middle Line Hwy, right on Southampton Hills Ct. Bridgehampton Office 631.537.5900

Open House • Sat., June 9 • 1-3pm 538 Deerfield Road, Water Mill. $1,575,000 A Victorian charmer set on a sweeping 1.4 acres, private, gardens and rolling lawn, gunite pool. Three BRs with a turret in the master. Historic details with all the modern conveniences. Exclusive. #59611 Dir: 27 East north on to Deerfield Rd. on South-West corner of Head of Bridgehampton Office 631.537.5900 Pond.

N OYA C Open House • Sun., June 10 • 1-3pm 83 East Tiana Road, Hampton Bays. $495,000 Cape, 3 BR, new EIK & BAs. Exclusive #58698. Dir. Sunrise Exit 65 S, Montauk Hwy. west to East Tiana. Hampton Bays Office 631.723.2721 Open House • Sat. June 9 • 12noon-2pm 5 Park Street, East Hampton. $795,000 Newly Cape w/4 BRs, 3 BAs on over a half acre. Covered porch, high ceiling basement & new appliances. Large yard w/room for pool. #52557 Dir: Springs Fireplace Rd, left at Harbor Blvd, right on Park St. East Hampton Office 631.329.9400

Open House • Sun. June 10 • 1-3pm 15 Riverdale Drive, Hampton Bays. $439,000 Cozy country ranch with 2BR, 1BA, gar. Exclusive. #59222 Dir. Montauk Hwy to Ponquogue, left on Lyncliff, right on Wakeman, left on Riverdale #15 on left. Hampton Bays Office 631.723.2721

Open House • Sat., June 9 • 12noon-2pm 80 Underwood Dr., East Hampton. $650,000 This great ranch in Clearwater has plenty of room with 4 BRs and lots of living space in the finished basement. On a shy half acre, there is plenty of room for a pool. A quick trip to the Clearwater private beach and marina. Exclusive. #60369 Dir: Springs Fireplace Rd., left on Underwood East Hampton Office 631.329.9400 Open House • Sat., June 9th 12noon-2pm 14 Boxwood Street, East Hampton. July $11,000, Aug $13,250, July & Aug $22,000 Three BRs &1.5 BAs. Very close to the Village of East Hampton, shops and restaurants. Minutes away from ocean beaches. Beautifully landscaped with a nice pool. Located on a very quiet street. #250314 Dir: Cedar Street to Boxwood. East Hampton Office 631.329.9400

Open House • Sat. June 9 • 12noon-2pm 6 Bernard Place, Noyac. $750,000 A spacious Pine Neck home desiring TLC to meet a wonderful potential. Partial renovation has begun. Moor a boat next door. Nestled in a community on a white, sandy Peconic Bay beach. Waterviews overlooking the cove/creek leading to the wide open bay. Exclusive. #60918 Dir: Noyac Rd. to Pine Neck to Bernard Place Sag Harbor Office 631.725.0200

SAG H A R B O R

Open House • Sun. June 10 • 1-3pm 99 Bay Avenue, Hampton Bays $559,000 Open & airy, totally renovated inside and out, 3BR, 2BA, pool. Exclusive. #59235 Dir: Montauk Hwy to Ponquogue, left on Bay Ave, 3rd house on Hampton Bays Office 631.723.272 left.

Open House • Sat. & Sun., June 9 & 10 • 2:30-4:30pm 2622 Deerfield Rd., Sag Harbor, $1,995,000 Set on 2 acres, this split-level, farm-style home features an open 6,000 sq.ft. floor plan w/5 BRs, 6 BAs, gourmet KIT w/dining area, LR w/FP & office. Heated Gunite pool, tennis court w/adjacent cabana. Exclusive. #59463 Dir: Rt 27 east north on Deerfield Rd. Bridgehampton Office 631.537.5900

Open House • Sat., June 9 • 3-5 pm 68 Island Creek Road, Southampton. $3,550,000 Waterfront estate on 1.9 acres is 3,900 sq. ft., 5 en suite BRs, EIK, heated gunite pool and private path down to waters edge Co-Exclusive #56813. Dir: North Sea Rd, left on Millstone Brook Rd., right on West Neck Road, right onto Island Creek Southampton Office 631.283.4343 Open House • Sun., June 10 • 11am-1 pm 98 Spring Pond Lane, Southampton. $1,675,000 This 2- story 5,000 sq. ft. Traditional 5 BR, 4 BA house on .92 acres in prestigious "Cold Spring Fairways" nestled to world renowned Shinnecock & Sebonac Golf Courses. Minutes to Cold Spring Pond (Peconic Bay Accessable) & 2 clay community tennis courts. Gourmet KIT, double-height LR w/brick FP, library w/ gas fireplace & wetbar, hardwood floors, CAC, finished lower level & htd. gunite pool. Co-Exclusive. #54498 Dir: West on Co. Rd. #39, right on Tuckahoe La., left on Sebonac Rd., right on Spring Pond La. Southampton Office 631.283.4343

Open House • Sat., & Sun. June 9 & 10 • 12-2pm 386 Mecox Road, Water Mill. $4,595,000 Magnificent new construction featuring 6 BRs, 6.5 BAs, 3 FPls, gourmet EIK, elegant LR, library & heated gunite free form pool. Situated on 1.5 acres surrounded by lush landscaping. Exclusive. #58767 Dir: Take 27 East to Water Mill, make right onto Mecox Road Bridgehampton Office 631.537.5900

Open House • Sun., June 10 • 12noon-2pm 75 Old Trail Rd, Water Mill. $1,395,000 Spacious, elegant, renovated home featuring 4-5 BRs, 2.5 BAs, extra large FDR, EIK, LR, den, full basement w/9' cielings, CAC, heated pool, & irrigation system. Exclusive. #58240 Dir. Deerfield Rd. to Roses Grove to Old Trail Rd. Sag Harbor Office 631.725.0200

For more beautiful investments

PRUDENTIALELLIMAN.COM

LONG ISLAND

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©2006. An independently owned and operated member of Prudential Real Estate Affiliates, Inc. is a service mark of Prudential Insurance Company of America. Equal Housing Opportunity. All material presented herein is intended for information purposes only. While, this information is believed to be correct, it is represented subject to errors, omissions, changes or withdrawal without notice. All property outlines and square footage in property listings are approximate.

DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 8

How Far Does Dan’s Papers Travel? The person who sends us a dateline from Dan’s Papers from the farthest point away before September 1, 2007, will receive a prize of $50.

ALL TYPES OF INTERIOR WINDOW TREATMENTS

Blinds • Shades • Verticals

“FREE” CONSULTATIONS MEASUREMENTS & INSTALLATIONS

• Horizontal and Vertical Blinds (Wood • Aluminum • PVC • Fabric) BEST • Pleated, Roll-Up & Roman Shades BEST 2006 (Blackout • Room Darkening • Sheer) • Solar & Skylight Shades (FROM MONTAUK • Shutters (Wood & PVC) TO MANHATTAN) • Cordless & Remote Control Available • All National Manufacturers (Hunter Douglas • Nanik • Phifer Shearweaves) • Repairs & Cleaning Also Available OF THE

P.O. Box 630 • (2221 Montauk Highway)• Bridgehampton, NY, 11932 • 631-537-0500 • General Fax 631537-3330 • Display Sales Fax 631-537-6374 • Our Classified office is now at 51 Hill Street • Southampton, NY, 11968 • Classified Phone 631-283-1000 • Classified Fax 631-283-2896 • www.danspapers.com •

Your Complete Satisfaction is Guaranteed!! Call for Appointments

Dan's Papers was founded in 1960 by Dan Rattiner and is the first free resort newspaper in America. VOLUME XLVII NUMBER 11 June 8, 2007

INTERIOR R WINDOW W TREATMENTS

Contents

1-800-646-4755 • 631-324-8299

Deep Root Fertilizing = Summer Splendor

Sharks to Vote? Hold Public Meeting to Decide the Future of Shark Tournaments

RIVERHEAD, IRAN, & AN ARREST IN CALIFORNIA

Zombies & Smokestacks Strange Creatures Wandering Around on a Lawn in Bridgehampton

EXPOSING THE EAST END’S UGLY GAS RIP-OFF

Triumph The Special Joys of Owning a 50-Year-Old Convertible Sports Car

Opossum vs. Prada Expensive Shoes, an Animal and a Gun in Westhampton Beach

WE PREDICT 5 HURRICANES...NO...8 HURRICANES

The Girls of Montauk Montauk in Playboy, Blurred in the Background, but Never the Less

LOHAN REHAB IN THE WORKS IN SOUTHAMPTON?

Capote’s Return The Life and Times of Author Truman Capote in Bridgehampton

THE HAMPTONS CLUB SCENE STEPS UP A NOTCH

WHO’S HERE: Frank MacNamara, President, Southampton Polo

BONACKERS WIN L.I. CLASS A SOFTBALL TITLE

LEARN ABOUT PIPING PLOVERS!

LIFE AFTER VERICOSE

DAN’S A&E GUIDE: Summer Shows at Guild Hall

MELT THE INCHES AWAY

2007 TONY AWARD PREDICTIONS

GADGETS WITH A SPLASH

BOOKS TO COOK BY

100

LUXURY POOLSIDES

RESTAURANT REVIEW: Gosman’s Dock

101

THE GLOBAL REAL ESTATE CONNECTION

RUNNING ON EMPTY

102

TRAVELING GYPSIES

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OF THE

Special Supplement: Real Estate pg. 130

COMING UP THE MOST COMPLETE COMING EVENTS GUIDE IN THE HAMPTONS This week’s coming events are in the following sections: Benefits – pg. 72 Art Events – pg. 91 Movies – pg. 84 Take 5 – pg. 82 Day by Day – pg. 72 Kids’ Events – pg. 76 Nightlife – pg. 82

WEEKLY FEATURES Art Commentary Classic Cars Classified Clippity Clop Dan’s North Fork Dan’s Goes To Dining Log East End Kid Garden at Rock Cottage Go Fish

91 75 125 74 63 62 88 76 99 75

Gordin’s View Green Monkeys Hampton Jitney Hollywood in the Hamptons Inspirations Kat’s Eye Letters To Dan Mini Movies New Kids Police Blotter

61 54 59 84 94 62 104 85 78 104

Real Estates Service Directory Sheltered Islander Shop ‘til You Drop Side Dish Silvia Lehrer Cooks South O’ The Highway Take A Hike Twentysomething Whispers

103 105 40 79 86 87 20 74 35 47

This issue is dedicated to Billy Joel, one cool dude.

DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 9

SLEEPY’S

T H E M O S T T R U S T E D N A M E I N M AT T R E S S E S

1/2 PRICE Heldover

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TODAY & TOM SALE ENDS 6/ ORROW 10 /07 7PM

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$ 99 Beautyrest 59999 Beautyrest 64 9 Luxury Firm Pillowtop

We will meet any price on any Stearns & Foster , Internet, TrueForm , Tempur-Pedic®or BodyDiagnostics® models *Applies to same or comparable mattresses prior to delivery. Excludes closeouts, special purchases, exchanges, floor samples, warranties, discontinued & one-of-a kind items. Must present competitor’s current ad or invoice.

Queen

2 PC. SET

OUR REG

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2 PC. SET

Reg Price $129999

Twin 2pc.set $89999 1/2 Price $44999 Full 2pc.set $114999 1/2 Price $57499 King 3pc.set $169999 1/2 Price $84999

Off

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Twin 2pc.set $ 99999 1/2 Price $49999 Full 2pc.set $119999 1/2 Price $59999 King 3pc.set $179999 1/2 Price $89999

†1/2 Price Sale applies to models listed in ad only. All models available for purchase and may not be on display. Sleepy’s reserves the right to limit quantities - 1 per customer. Not responsible for typographical errors. Photos are for illustration purposes only.

FLOOR SAMPLE EVENT

50 70 % to

REGULAR PRICES ON SELECT FLOOR MODELS SELECTIONS MAY VARY BY STORE

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FINANCING AVAILABLE

SLEEPY’S

EAST HAMPTON 65 Montauk Hwy. Rt. 27

See store for details.

The Mattress Professionals®

(Just East of East Hampton Bowling) 631-329-0786

SOUTHAMPTON 58-60 Hampton Rd. (Nr Aboff’s) 631-204-9371

HAMPTON BAYS 30 Montauk Highway (Hampton Bays Town Center) 631-723-1404 BRIDGEHAMPTON 2099 Montauk Highway (Opposite Bridgehampton Commons) 631-537-8147

RIVERHEAD 1180 Route 58 (Near Target Center) 631-727-7058

RIVERHEAD OUTLET 1199 Route 58

(Corner of Harrison Avenue, Opposite Taco Bell) 631-727-6250 )#

For more information

BABYLON 669 Sunrise Highway (North Service Road) BAYSHORE 1522 Sunrise Highway (5th Avenue Exit) BOHEMIA 4779 Sunrise Highway (Near Murtha’s Steak House) CENTEREACH 1959 Middle Country Rd (Near Island Recreational) Grand Opening COMMACK 6183 Jericho Turnpike (West of Northport Ford) COMMACK 2061 Jericho Tpke (Just W. of Mayfair Shopping Ctr) DEER PARK 410 Commack Road (Opposite Kohl’s Shopping Center) # DIX HILLS 1894 E. Jericho Turnpike (Opposite DSW) FARMINGDALE 2000 Broadhollow Road (Route 110 Near Penn Furniture) # FARMINGDALE 207 Airport Plaza (Rt 110 Nr Multiplex Cinema) plus Sleepy’s Kids HUNTINGTON STATION 205 Walt Whitman Rd /Rt 110 (Opp Walt Whitman Mall) HUNTINGTON VILLAGE 277 Main Street/ Route 25A (Opp Marsh’s) ISLANDIA 1968A Veteran’s Hwy (3/4 mile South of L.I.E. - Exit 57) LAKE GROVE 3170 Middle Country Road (Next to Bally’s Fitness) # LAKE RONKONKOMA 595 Portion Rd (Nr Sear’s Hardware & Waldbaum’s) LINDENHURST 44 East Sunrise Highway (Next to Hollywood Video) MANORVILLE 460 Country Road 111 (Next to King Kullen) MEDFORD 700-45 Patchogue/Yaphank Rd. (Stop & Shop/Eckerds) PATCHOGUE 104 Sunrise Hwy (So Service Rd 1/4M E. Rt 112) # PATCHOGUE 499 West Sunrise Highway (Gateway Shopping Center) PORT JEFFERSON 4840 Nesconset Hwy (Opp Ramp Ford ) # ROCKY POINT 75 Route 25A (Next to Plaza Sports) SAYVILLE 5640 Sunrise Highway Exit 50 (Off Sunrise Highway)

SELDEN Selden Plaza 335 Middle Country Road (Next to T.J. Maxx) SHIRLEY 1017 Montauk Highway (Southport Shopping Center) SMITHTOWN 1 Miller Place & Route 25 Main St. (Near Daffy’s) WADING RIVER 6233-6277 Route 25A (Near King Kullen) WEST BABYLON 661 W. Montauk Hwy (Next to Petco Opp 7-Eleven)

MANHATTAN SHOWROOMS

UNION SQUARE 874 Broadway & 18th St. (Next to ABC Carpet) CHELSEA 92 7th Ave Btwn 15th & 16th (Opp Jensen Lewis) CHELSEA 777 6th Ave (26th & 27th) CHELSEA 49 West 23rd St. (Near PC Richards) CHELSEA 22 West 14th St. (Next to Dee & Dee) EAST SIDE 157 East 57th St(Btwn 3rd Ave & Lexington) EAST SIDE Platinum Plus 962 3rd Ave (Between 57th & 58th) FIFTH AVE 425 5th Ave & 38th St. GRAMERCY PARK 201 East 23rd St. 2nd Fl. (Nr. Zeller Tuxedo) HARLEM 65 East 125th Street (Between Park & Madison)# LOWER EAST SIDE 138 Delancey St. (Nr. Dunkin Donuts) KIPS BAY 201 E. 34th St (34th & 3rd) LEXINGTON AVE Platinum Plus 810 Lexington Ave (Btwn 62nd & 63rd) PARK AVE SOUTH 440 Park Avenue South (Btwn 29th & 30th Streets) UPPER EAST SIDE 336 East 86th St (Next to Gristede’s) UPPER EAST SIDE 337 East 86th St (Between 1st/2nd-Opp Gristede’s)# HERALD SQUARE 36 W. 34th St. (Between 5th & 6th) UPPER WEST SIDE 2080 Broadway & 72nd St (2nd Floor) Enter on Broadway UPTOWN 2581 Broadway 2nd Floor (Between 97th & 98th Streets) UPPER WEST SIDE 2330 Broadway 84th & 85th St (2nd Fl) UPPER WEST SIDE 2804 Broadway (1 Block North of Gristede’s) SOHO 176 Ave of the Americas (Corner of Spring St) LINCOLN TUNNEL AREA 475 9th Avenue (Near. H & R Block) FIRST AVE 1115 First Ave (Opposite Bed, Bath & Beyond)

CALL 1(800)SLEEPYS (753-3797) www.sleepys.com ®

Southampton, Hampton Bays, Bridgehampton & Easthampton Showroom Hours: Monday thru Thursday 10am to 8pm, Friday 10am to 9pm, Saturday 10am to 8pm, Sunday 11am to 7pm

All Other Showroom Hours: Monday thru Friday 10am to 9pm, Saturday 10am to 8pm, Sunday 11am to 7pm

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DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 10

THE HAMPTONS

presents

HAMPTONS

CONCOURS D’ELEGANCE Bridgehampton, New York

JUNE 10, 2007

sponsored by

Hayground School, Mitchell Lane Gates open 10:00am General admission: $25.00 Charity Cocktail Reception: $125.00 To Benefit Habitat For Humanity 16 classes 1896-1974 People’s Choice Award Presented by

HAMPTON dan’s magazine

Automotive Art Exhibition & Sale sponsored by

JUNE 8, 9, 2007

Auction

Hayground School, Mitchell Lane 1949 XK120 ALLOY 1952 XK120 OTS 1953 XK120 DHC 1961 XKE ‘flat floor’ 1937 MG TA 1952 MG TD 1954 KAISER Darrin 1956 CHEVROLET Bel-Air conv. 1956 CHEVROLET Cameo p/u 1956 FORD thunderbird 1956 FORD F100 p/u 1959 FORD Skyliner ‘retractable’ 1959 CHEVROLET Corvette 1963 CORVETTE ‘Split Window’ F.I. 1962 MORGAN +4 1948 LINCOLN Continental conv. 1948 CHRYSLER T&C conv. 1961 MB 190SL 1969 MB 280SE Cab. 1971 MB 3.5 Cab. 1969 MB 280SL 1-owner 1997 FERRARI 456GTA 1989 BENTLEY Continental conv.

…..50 more 100% financing available from

Consigners and Bidders please contact Kensington Motor Group Inc. 631.537.1868 kenmotor@gmail.com www.hamptonsautoclassic.com Hamptons Concours d’Elegance Inc. (501(c)3) 631.537.1868 kenmotor@gmail.com www.hamptonsconcoursdelegance.com

Friday, June 8 6:00 - 8:00pm Bidders’ Cocktail Reception $35.00 Saturday, June 9 Gates open 8:00am Auction starts at Noon General admission: $15.00 Bidder’s Paddle: $75.00

A Benefit For

media sponsor

Refreshments available at the Pit Stop Cafe

DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 11

Summer

bargain hunting at its

best!

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DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 12

FROM THE #1 NEW YORK TIMES – BESTSELLING

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Publisher & Editor in Chief: Dan Rattiner Associate Publisher & Advertising Sales Director Kathy Rae Assistant to the Publisher Joan Gray Faculty Advisor Elaine K.G. Benson Operations Manager Kenneth Allan Assistant Office Manager Christina Okula Receptionist Aprili Faggins Display Sales Executives Anne Collins, Annemarie Davin, Lisa DeLisi, Catherine Ellams, Jean Lynch, Tom W. Ratcliffe III, Jim Smith, Maritza Smith Assistant to Sales Director Eileen Dermody Classified Advertising Manager Lori Berger Classified & Web Sales Executives Kathy Camarata, Steve Daniel, Diane Heinlein, Sam Pierce, Joyce Pisarra, Christina Poulos, David Santos, Richard Scalera Graphic Designer/Classified Web Coordinator Frank Coppola Coordinating Editor Victoria L. Cooper Features Editor Sabrina C. Mashburn Shopping Editor Maria Tennariello Assistant Editor Janine Cheviot Editorial Assistant Justin DeMarco Wine Guide Editor Susan Whitney Simm Interns Lily Betjeman, Bizzy Cheviot, Emily Esposito, Alexandra Storch, Mike Vilensky, Tim C. Walser Production Director Nicole Caruso Production Assistant Genevieve Salamone Art Director Linda Braverman Associate Art Director Kelly Merritt Graphic Designers Joel Rodney, Gustavo A. Gomez Bookkeeper ToniAnn Esposito Accounts Receivable Jim Best Distribution Manager Thomas Swinimer

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Web Specialist Matt Cross Webmaster Leif Neubauer Computer Consultant Sheryl Heller Web Editor/Associate Editor David Lion Rattiner Contributing Writers And Editors Samantha Altea, Janet Berg, Roy Bradbrook, Alan Braveman, Lance Brilliantine, Patrick Christiano, TJ Clemente, Jerry Cimisi, Guy-Jean de Fraumeni, Renée Donlon, Dave Evans, Sally Flynn, Bob Gelber, Barry Gordin, Steve Haweeli, Ken Kindler, Ed Koch, Julia Nasser, Silvia Lehrer, Christian McLean, Betty Paraskevas, Jan Silver, Robin Feman, David Stoll, Diane Strecker, Maria Tennariello, Debbie Tuma, Marion Wolberg Weiss, Emily J Weitz, Joan Zandell Contributing Artists And Photographers David Charney, Kimberly Goff, Barry Gordin, Geir Magnusson, Christian McLean, Katlean de Monchy, Richard Lewin, Leslie Paul, Michael Paraskevas, Ginger Propper, Kathy Rae, Tom W. Ratcliffe III Dan’s Advisory Board Theodore Kheel, Chairman, Richard Adler Ken Auletta, Barbaralee Diamonstein-Spielvogel Avery Corman, Frazer Dougherty, Dallas Ernst Audrey Flack, Billy Joel, Roy Scheider John Roland, Mort Zuckerman

DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 15

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Sharks to Vote? Hold Public Meeting to Decide the Future of Shark Tournaments By Dan Rattiner Montauk bills itself as the Fishing Capital of the World. This is no public relations stunt. It’s the truth. If you take a look at the list of current world saltwater fishing records — which I did in my World Almanac last week — you will find that twice as many of them are held by fishermen from Montauk than from fishermen at any other fishing port in the entire world. Our most recent entries are a 22-pound, 7ounce summer flounder caught by Charles Nappi and a 528-pound Blue shark caught by Joe Seidel in July of 2001. Sharks are a relatively new thing. Until

one particular deep-sea fisherman came along in Montauk in 1950, shark fishing was unheard of in these parts. But Captain Frank Mundus arrived in Montauk that year and began taking enthusiastic fishermen out to catch killer sharks. He caught one Great White Shark that was over 3,500 pounds. But because, in the end, he had to shoot it rather than catch it on rod and reel, it didn’t qualify for the record books. The record remains, to this day, a 2,664 pound Great White, caught by an Australian in 1973. However, Mundus’ accomplishments with shark fishing sparked an enthusiasm which led to a series of shark fishing competitions,

which are now held every year by the Montauk Marine Basin, the Star Island Yacht Club and the Montauk Yacht Club. The enthusiasm also sparked the making of the movie JAWS, which, frankly, had been inspired by Frank Mundus. A whole lot of people get eaten by the Great White in the movie. It is considered one of the ten best movies of all time. At this point, the shark tournaments, along with some surfing tournaments, have become a sort of centerpiece for the tourist season in Montauk. More than $150,000 is given to the winners at the four shark tour(continued on page 22)

RIVERHEAD, IRAN, & AN ARREST IN CALIFORNIA By Dan Rattiner Last week, a federal judge in California sentenced a popular flight instructor at an airport in Orange County to two years in jail for crating up stolen F-14 fighter jet spare parts and trying to sent them to Iran. His name is Reza Tabib, he is 52 years old, speaks four languages and was born in Tehran. He is the son of a well-known judge there. People seem amazed that such a nice guy would try to do such a thing. But he did. The F-14, featured in the Tom Cruise movie Top Gun, was the most sophisticated and best fighter plane in the world during the 1970s,

1980s and 1990s. It was built by Grumman at their plant in Riverhead. It took two pilots to fly it. All together, about 712 of them were put into service. According to the Pentagon, there are only two countries in the world that still use F-14 fighter jets, the aircraft that was featured in the movie Top Gun and built here in a factory in Riverhead. Those two countries are the United States and Iran. Most recently, the United States aircraft carrier USS Nimitz sailed into the Gulf of Aqaba to join the rest of the American fleet there. Onboard, backing up the current Navy carrier jet of choice, the F-18,

was a squadron of F-14s. Across the Gulf sit the F-14s of Iran. How Iran came to be the only other country in the world to get F-14s is an interesting story. The fighter was considered so good when it was first put into service that the Pentagon ruled that it could not be sold to any other country, even our allies. However, in late 1979, the Shah of Iran was in trouble and under pressure from Islamic Militants to resign and allow an Islamic based government to be formed. There was fighting. As a result, (continued on page 45)

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Singer Billy Joel is buying Actor Roy Scheider’s oceanfront house in Sagaponack. It’s quite a downsize for Joel and his wife, because his current house, which is not out here at all, but eighty miles away in Centre Island, is an old WASP estate of about 9,000 square feet. Scheider’s house is about 2,500 square feet. The Center Island property is currently for sale for $32.5 million, if you’re interested. The Scheider house was sold to Joel for about half that. And Roy and Brenda Scheider are not moving away. They’ve bought a small whaler’s house in Sag Harbor, inland, which they are restoring and hope to be able to occupy in August. Meanwhile, they are upstairs at the American Hotel in Sag Harbor * * * Last Monday night, Hamptons designers and muses gathered to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the CFDA Fashion Awards. Marc Jacobs was there with his date, Helena Christensen. Jane Krakowski came swathed in a Nicole Miller gown. Michael Kors brought three lucky ladies to the event: Heidi Klum, Debra Messing and Liya Kebede. Ralph Lauren brought his good friend Oprah Winfrey to the event, which was hosted by Ellen Barkin. Other guests included Francisco Costa and Eva Mendes, Zac Posen and Karen Elson and Diane Von Furstenburg. * * * Starbucks’ first original music release, Paul McCartney’s “Memory Almost Full,” will be played on loop all day at all Starbucks locations to promote the album on sale there and nowhere else. Whether or not the constant repetition of this will cause a mass wave of quitting and employee misery has not yet been addressed by the company. * * * Southampton heiress Paris Hilton checked herself into a private cell at the luxurious Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California after attending the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday night. Until June 23, Paris will eat her meals in her 8x12-foot cell and will be allowed out for at least an hour per day to shower, watch television, participate in outdoor recreation or talk on the telephone. No news yet on how Paris will keep track of her contacts while in jail, since no Blackberries or cell phones are allowed in the facility, even for visitors. * * * Hamptons restauranteur Ed “Jean Luc” Kleefield has changed the name of his Sag Harbor Cajun eatery from “Mumbo Gumbo” to “Black Buoy Bar & Grill” in reference to the rowdy bar that once occupied the space. * * * Hayden Panettiere, now filming Fireflies in the Garden with Julia Roberts and Ryan Reynolds, and the Humane Society of New York’s Blausius will be among those on the catwalk at Animal Fair’s “Paws for Style” benefit at (continued on page 42)

DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 21

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DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 22

Sharks

(continued from page 19)

naments. And the shark meat is cut up at the dock and distributed to food pantries for needy people in the area. Now, here comes a group that wants to shut down the four shark fishing competitions. The call has come from The Humane Society of the United States, which sent a letter to the East Hampton Town Board calling upon them to send police officers to the four competitions — the first one is on June 17, which is Father’s Day — and close them down. The reason given is that the shark population in oceans around the world is declining. And a cause of the decline is surely these shark tournaments, which the

Humane Society says are the biggest tournaments of their kind in the world. They also say that being caught is a very humiliating experience for a shark. Here are some excerpts from this letter, written by John Grandy, Senior Vice President for Wildlife and Habitat Protection at the Humane Society: “It is time for a change in the way we view sharks and their protection. Nothing could be less educational or more degrading and demeaning to sharks than the cheers and jeers that greet the display and awarding of prize money for the biggest dead shark in each of multiple categories… We call upon you to take a leadership position with

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respect to protecting sharks and your reputation for serious conservation and humane standards, and call for an immediate indefinite moratorium on the Star Island Shark Tournaments and all other Montauk Shark Tournaments.” Jeers? Are there people out there jeering at the dead sharks, laughing and pointing and shouting, “That ought to show you, you sharks, for what you’ve done, eating various humans around the world.” Whether this letter is serious or not — it urges the Town Supervisor to refuse to grant the proper gathering permits required to hold the tournaments — it certainly has gotten everybody talking nevertheless. For one thing, at least one of the tournaments is a catch-and-release affair. No shark is killed. Though, maybe, catching a shark and then releasing it could cause troublesome emotional problems for it in the future. Perhaps it can’t sleep at night. Stuff like that. As for the other three tournaments, the only sharks taken are the largest. Perhaps 50 boats enter each tournament. They will only bring back one shark each. This is hardly a dent in a body of water that covers two thirds of the earth. Lisa Grenci, the chairman of the Montauk Citizens Advisory Committee, had this to say: “They reuse the meat that is caught. It’s not like they’re killing for killing’s sake. We feel it’s important for our economy. We are a fishing community and the tournament is for a good cause. As far as I know, no local people have raised any objections.” And then there is this weird comment about the humiliation dealt to the sharks on the dock while being held up by their tails (continued on page 39)

DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 23

Zombies & Smokestacks Strange Creatures Wandering Around on a Lawn in Bridgehampton By Dan Rattiner I swear, if Rip Van Winkle woke up after a twenty-year sleep in front of the offices of Dan’s Papers on Friday, he would think we are so bizarre. I am not talking about our building. It’s the same building, with the same clapboard shingles, the same sculpture out front and the same neon sign by the front door. What’s different is the group of seven people on the front lawn. Four were wandering aimlessly around, occasionally gesturing with their hands or doing something with their heads and not saying one word to one another. The other three were standing in one place, looking dreamily

into space, occasionally exhaling cigarette smoke. It was the most amazing thing. Here it was, a beautiful day in early June, with the sun shining and the temperature about seventy degrees and here I was, heading westbound on the Montauk Highway with my turn signal on, waiting to turn into our driveway. What I should have been seeing, if it were a situation where seven people would be out on the lawn 20 years ago, is seven people chatting happily with one another. But oh no. The active four were gesturing and pacing back and forth, sometimes coming so close to the others that those standing still

had to slide out of the way to avoid getting shoved aside. Those on their cell phones were Tom Swinimer, our delivery manager, Jean Lynch, our North Fork sales executive, Janine Cheviot, our assistant editor, and Victoria Cooper, our coordinating editor. Considering the paper bag in Janine’s hand, I figured she was just coming back from Bob’s Village Market next door with her lunch when her cell phone rang, stopping her in her tracks. Tom Swinimer’s delivery crew was in the back, loading up bundles and skids of Dan’s Papers into white pickup trucks and he was up front having a one on one conversation with some(continued on the next page)

EXPOSING THE EAST END’S UGLY GAS RIP-OFF By Dan Rattiner One of the things that happens when you continuously publish a weekly newspaper for years and years is that you see public officials doing the same hopeless things that have been done by others years before. They’re new on the scene. So they forge ahead. What do they know? So I write about the coincidence. Sometimes it helps. I refer, of course, to a newly elected official’s most recent announcement that he has discovered that the further east you go on Long Island, the higher the price of gasoline. And, by God, he is going to fix this scandal. This week,

for the first time, the price of gasoline was $4 a gallon out in Montauk. In East Hampton it was $3.80. In Southampton it was $3.60 and in Riverhead it was $3.40. And, of course, the further west you go the less it costs. He’s mad as hell and, on behalf of his constituents, he is not going to take it anymore, he said in a dramatic, fist-shaking, determined manner. He’s going to fix it and punish the perpetrators. The flashbulbs popped and the people cheered. Well, I will spare you his identity. As I recall, the first person who announced this exact investigation was Teddy Roosevelt.

He was Governor of New York at the time and it was 1899 and the automobile had just been invented. I was just a tiny tot on a tricycle. But I was there at his news conference. In more recent times, this exact same investigation, which led to no result, was announced by New York Mayor Jimmy Walker in 1927, by Congressman Stuyvesant Wainwright II in 1956 (R-Wainscott), by Congressman Otis Pike (R-Riverhead) in 1967, by New York State Speaker of the House Perry Duryea Jr. (RMontauk) in 1977, and I forget who in 1980 or 1990, but in 2000 it was Assemblyman Fred (continued on page 36)

DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 24

Zombies

(continued from previous page)

body because he needed privacy. Jean Lynch was apparently headed next door to the market to get her lunch when her phone rang, and I have no idea what Victoria Cooper was doing out there. As for the other three people, I will not say who they were, because they know who they are, but they were there because they could not be inside. They stood almost motionless, staring out into space,

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and every once in a while, they would each raise a hand to their mouths to take a drag and then remove their hand and blow out the smoke. None of the three moved much, and none of them spoke to any of the others. “Rip,” I said to the imaginary old fellow sitting next to me, “make of it what you will, the place has gone nuts.” As for me, I knew that sometime soon there had to be a break in this long line of cars, so I could end my viewing of this little front lawn playlet and pull into the driveway and into my parking space. But then I saw, in the line of cars next to me going eastbound, a vision I will not soon forget. I don’t know about you, but while driving around the Hamptons, I often find myself turning my head to watch a really interesting-looking couple drive by in a really interesting-looking car. It’s always a convertible. Sometimes red, sometimes yellow, sometimes powder blue. And in it is almost always some very prosperous looking older fellow with slicked back hair sitting next to a slender fashion model with blonde hair, dark glasses and a big white hat with a ribbon. I know it’s sort of silly, but these visions participate in my mind as a sort of contest. Somewhere out there, there is the perfect car and couple. And this is one of the entrants. Well, waiting to turn into the zombie driveway at Dan’s Papers that morning, I had found the winners — there was no mistaking it. The vehicle was an enormous HUM-VEE. The real thing, the military version after which the Hummer was copied. It had oversize tires, a roll bar, a camouflage paint job and no top. And it was splattered in mud. And here was the couple. The driver was a man of about forty, naked from the waist up, with a crown of unkempt curly blond hair, dark sunglasses, a flower-patterned bathing suit and a suntanned, hairy chest. His left hand was on the wheel. His right arm was draped over the shoulders of this amazing creature next to him, a 120-poundsoaking-wet, beige water dog sitting obediently on the passenger seat, facing forward, his pink tongue hanging out from what had apparently been a glorious run on the beach. The entry glided by, the driver turning his head neither left toward my front turn blinker nor right toward the zombies. Just so cool. Rip, wake up. Wake up, Rip, you’re falling asleep. •

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Triumph The Special Joys of Owning a 50-Year-Old Convertible Sports Car By Dan Rattiner This past weekend, 200 people who own classic, 40-year-old cars showed up in a field in Amagansett to show off their old cars. There were Pontiac Firebirds, vintage Mercedes, Beamers, old Cadillacs with tail fins and classic 57 Thunderbirds. Many of those who own these cars bought them over the last few years for investment purposes. They might think that the cars are beautiful, but they stand around waiting to hear numbers — how much they could sell cars for. Whether the market was right. Whether they ought to wait. These people are not old car buffs. They are just at these meets fishing to make a sale. Maybe they even think that the people at these shows who had owned their cars forever — they were in the majority — were just a big yawn. Who wants to listen to them talk about their cars? Well, I do. I am among those people who buy something, lives with it for dozens of years and then just keeps it forever. These things hold great memories. And if they are now worth a lot of money? We couldn’t care less. We have no interest in ever selling them. And I will tell you why. Back in late April, during a warm spell, I went out to my garage and opened the door and there was the car I bought when I was 24 years old, hitting the bars looking for girls here in the Hamptons. I didn’t have much money when I was 24 years old. But when I saw this racy, red sports car sitting out in front of a bar in Hampton Bays with a FOR SALE sign on it, I thought,

2007 CLASSIC CAR AUCTION & CONCOURS D’ELEGANCE By Daniel Simone This upcoming weekend will surely thrill the souls and, perhaps, exercise the checkbooks of vintage automobile enthusiasts. The Hamptons Auto Classic Auction, an established, yearly Hampton event, will once again take place, this time on Saturday, June 9. The Kensington Motor Group is promoting the event. Peter Mole, a British subject by birth, is the president of Kensington Motor Group and has scheduled the renowned annual local automobile gala, the Hamptons Concours d’Elegance, a traditional prestigious show and contest of impeccable classic autos on the day following the auction, Sunday, June 10. The term ‘concours d’elegance’ is a French expression meaning, “contest for purity and elegance.” Serious automobile aficionados regard these proceedings almost as if it were a sacred ceremony. In fact, the vehicle that the judges declare the best of the Concours, upon receiving the award, instantly gains prestige and market value. These two consecutive events will be a real home run for the enthusiasts’ weekend. The Bidder’s Cocktail Reception will precede the auction on Friday evening, June 8, starting at 6:00 p.m. and ending at 8:00 p.m. Most perspective buyers restrict their serious examinations to the vehicles they’ve selected (continued on page 51)

boy that’s for me. I bought it. I’ve owned it ever since. And there, last April, more than 40 years later, there it was. Oh, the stories it could tell. The car is a 1959 Triumph TR-3. When I bought it, it was six years old — a used car. The guy who owned it was getting married and his wife wanted him to get rid of it. Those days with his TR-3 were gone forever. Now he’d be driving a station wagon. And so I test drove it and then wrote him a check for the $800 he wanted for it. It had 47,000 miles on it. Today, it has 98,000 miles. So I rarely use it. Here’s what I like about my TR-3: At the front end, there is a round hole in the center of the grille. In 1959, when they made it, they wanted to have a way to start the car in the event that the battery was dead or the starter motor was broken. So there was this hole and this metal crank you could slide into it, a zigzag thing that you could turn and possibly get the car to fire itself up. Of course it could backfire and kick the cylinders backwards in a jolt, which could reverse the crank and break your arm. But that didn’t happen often. So that was your backup. I’ve never tried it. By the way, I lost the crank about twenty years ago. Last year, however, I bought another one on eBay for $35. I haven’t tried that one either. Triumph was a viable car manufacturing company with a plant northwest of London back in the day. In 1957, they made the first (continued on the next page)

DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 26

Triumph

(continued from previous page)

TR-3. It had a five speed standard shift with four forward speeds and one reverse. It was not particularly fast, but it was cool-looking and reliable for its time. The engineers decided NOT to design a new engine for it. Instead, they bought reliable, four-cylinder farm tractor engines from a factory that made them and modified them to fit under the hood. My original one is still there, still working. They made this model of TR-3 until 1961. All together, they made about 20,000 of them. Air conditioning in the car is provided by a metal lever that pushes open a vent on the hood directly in front of the windshield. With the vent closed, the air whooshed around the sides of the car. With the vent opened, it came

down into the cockpit as a brisk wind to cool you off. Of course, no matter what you did you were out in the open air. The car does have a soft leather top that you can push up and down like you’d push a sunbonnet on a baby carriage. It has snaps that you click onto the top of the windshield to keep it up there. But it really isn’t effective in keeping the rain out. Yes, there is heat. It is a metal box on the floor above the foot pedals that has a fan in it. It has two modes, operated by the twist knob on the dashboard. If you turned it ON and it got too hot, you turned it OFF. I was wrong when I said the car only has a leather top. It has a hard top, shaped like a hard top, that you can set on top of the open

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cockpit, with the leather top down, and attach with latches. The front latches of the hard top go on the top of the windshield. The back ones go on the rear fenders. If you hit a big bump, which I did in June of 1981 in Southampton while going 20-miles-per-hour instead of 5miles-an-hour, it flies off and lands in the road, scaring the hell out of you and everybody else, particularly those behind you. This top, today, is resting in the roof rafters in my garage. It has gouges in it from hitting the road. It has been up there since that day in June of 1981. All the gauges set in the dashboard have white needles behind glass that point to things. The big gauges indicate the car’s speed in miles-per-hour and the engine’s revolutions per minute. Smaller gauges indicate the engine’s temperature, whether the battery is charging or discharging, the water temperature in the radiator and the level of fuel in the gas tank. There are also two buttons. One is called STARTER. You press it and it causes the car’s starter motor to turn over. The other button says CHOKE and it’s a pull button. When you pull it out, it increases the amount of gasoline that comes to the spark plugs. You need to choke the gas to get an excessive amount to the spark plugs in order to get it to fire and first start up. After it runs for a while, it warms up and doesn’t need all that gas. It starts to run rough with the choke on. So you push in the choke. It smoothes out. It sounds like a single engine airplane. The other items on the dashboard are twists. One operates the heater, ON and OFF. The other operates the windshield wiper, ON or OFF. That’s about it for the luxury items in this car. There are rearview mirrors on the front fenders that are fully adjustable if somebody gets out of the car and goes up there and twists them until you say THAT’S IT, they’re aimed right. Oh, and it does have one other luxury, which I think they had in the 1959 version for the first time — blinking turn signals. There was a lever atop the center stalk of the steering wheel, right above the horn, that you could push sideways and the blinking light in back would turn on that side. After you turned, while you were straightening the wheel, something inside the center stalk would pass a certain raised metal point and the turn signal would snap back to its central position, thereby automatically turning the blinking light off ALL BY ITSELF. Wow! That feature, by the way, stopped working on my car around 1991. You push the turn signal and it does make the turn signal blink, but after the turn you have to remember to push it back. I should say that another luxury feature on the dashboard is a single blinking light to indicate that the blinking turn taillight is on, to remind you to turn it off. The car has no safety features whatsoever. The rear seat is a wooden plank with a leather and cotton affair attached atop it. Only one person can sit back (continued on page 37)

DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 27

Opossum vs. Prada Expensive Shoes, an Animal and a Gun in Westhampton Beach By David Lion Rattiner Sometimes you just get pissed off and bust out your handgun on an opossum. That’s what happened on the night of February the 8th in Westhampton Beach at the Home of Westhampton Beach Deputy Mayor Jim Kametler. The case has finally been declared closed, after being investigated by Suffolk County District Attorney Thomas Spota for months. There have been salary cuts demanded and agreed upon by the Deputy Mayor, there have been meetings held, there has been talk about him getting fired and finally, there is just the plain and unmistakable reality of a frustrated village official who got so annoyed that an opossum dared to cross into his territory that he decided to unleash hell.

So what really happened that night? The following is loosely based on true accounts and police statements. It was late at night and Deputy Mayor Jim Kametler was trying to get some sleep, but his anxiety was keeping him awake. He had parking tickets on the brain, along with beach permits and variances. He could usually handle the stress, but on this particular night, all he wanted was some peace and quiet. He got out of bed for a drink of water, turned off the television set, which was still on, took a deep breath and relaxed. He suddenly could feel the weight of the world falling from his shoulders. Sleep would now come. So then he opened the window and listened to the sound of the country. There was absolutely nothing to hear

but the blowing of the wind. The mayor closed his eyes and smiled. But then, he heard an odd sound. There was a rustle and then a squeak. There was something alive, outside, making noise and it immediately awoke the hunter inside the Deputy Mayor. And that’s when he saw it: an opossum, staring at him with it’s two beady eyes and crinkly little nose. The Deputy Mayor’s heart plummeted. He did not want this animal near his home. “Go on, get out of here!” he said, but the opossum didn’t seem to notice. “Go on, I said. Shoo! Shoo!” And then he opened his window and threw his shoe at the opossum and it scampered away. “Finally,” he said. But then he realized that the shoe he threw (continued on the next page)

WE PREDICT 5 HURRICANES... NO... 8 HURRICANES By Dan Rattiner Last Thursday was the official start of the hurricane season. And so the official in charge of making the prediction of what the hurricane season was going to be like this summer got up in front of the headquarters in Colorado and said that the ocean had warmed up off Los Angeles and, because of that, we can expect three to five major hurricanes to hit the eastern seaboard this summer and another dozen hurricanes with slightly lesser winds and rains. So, it’ll be pretty bad.

Last year, the official predicted between eight and ten major hurricanes on the eastern seaboard, because of some factors with El Niño south of Hawaii and we didn’t have even one. It was the first time in thirty-five years that not one single hurricane hit the East Coast. The year before that, he predicted we’d have an off year with very few hurricanes because things were quiet in Botswana, Africa and at least seven hit, including four that passed within ten miles of my 92-year-old mother in Pompano Beach, Florida during a span of six

weeks — she stood her ground — and another that flattened and flooded New Orleans. The year before that, he was wrong too. How much do we pay this guy? And how much does the big weather forecasting headquarters in Colorado cost us taxpayers? I think we would be better off if we fire this guy, cut off funding, dynamite the Colorado lab and just find some guy shuffling down the street in Denver, spruce him up, give him ten bucks and put him on the air. “Hurricane season has started,” he could • say. “Good luck.”

DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 28

Opossum

(continued from previous page)

outside was the wrong shoe. It was one half of his best pair. In fact, his only pair of good shoes. Prada shoes. $1,000 Prada shoes that he had won in an online auction. These shoes were his prized possession. Instantly the mayor popped up out of bed and went to the window to see if he could locate the shoe before venturing outside. But, of course, it was too late. The opossum was back and was poking around in his shoe. “Son of a...” he yelled and he ran out in the hall, then downstairs, then outside, “Shoo, shoo!” he yelled. And he headed outside to grab his Prada shoe, getting wet grass stuck to his feet. The opossum was not about to back down to the Deputy Mayor and began to drag the shoe all around the yard. The Deputy Mayor chased the opossum from one end of the yard to another in his pajamas. But every time the mayor got close to the opossum it would scoot away with the shoe. It was almost as if it was toying with him. “Do you have any idea who I am?” The Deputy Mayor snapped. And he marched back inside. This opossum had messed with the wrong guy. Trailing wet grass through the house, the mayor grabbed his .38-caliber Smith & Wesson Chief’s Special, his favorite pistol and loaded it. He saw the opossum. “This is the end of the line for you,” he said and fired.

But the opossum was still standing and now was smirking at him. He fired again, but right when the mayor pulled the trigger, the opossum jumped. An expert marksman, the mayor fired a third time and then a fourth and then a fifth. With each shot, another light went on inside neighboring homes. What was wrong? Was there a car backfiring? Nobody fires guns around here. The opossum was wounded and looked at the mayor as if to say, “Why? Why have you done this to me? It was just a shoe!” and limped off into the woods. Within minutes, a police officer showed up. Lt. Gonce was concerned at first, thinking that his friend Deputy Mayor Kametler was in trouble. But when he learned the story, he found himself in a bind. After all, what the Deputy Mayor had done was very illegal. The Deputy Mayor had just broken the law of Second Degree reckless endangerment, a misdemeanor and had also broken the New York State Environmental Conservation Law, which states that you can’t fire a gun within 500 feet of another residence. But this was the Deputy Mayor, so he would get a break. After a laugh and after putting the gun away, the mayor went to sleep and the opossum went back to its home, to nurse its wound and tell its friends the story of how he drove the Deputy Mayor of Westhampton Beach nuts for a night.•

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Lilla in Napeague, from The End: Montauk, NY by Michael Dweck

The Girls of Montauk Montauk in Playboy, Blurred in the Background, but Neverthe less By Justin DeMarco The wait is finally over. It’s been almost nine months since Michael Dweck photographed “The Girls of Montauk” in various locations around that town for a pictorial essay that will run in the July issue of Playboy coming out today. The 22 photos will tell the story of “a surf weekend with girlfriends chilling by the beach,” photographer Michael Dweck said during a telephone interview. “It’s not about bars or clubs.” Dweck, who has been camping, staying at friends’ houses and renting in Montauk since the late 1970s, has an understanding of the

lives of Montauk surfers, as is evident in his recent book, The End: Montauk, N.Y., dedicated to Montauk’s surfing culture. Playboy magazine had originally approached Dweck about this project and once he accepted the offer, handed him the reins. “I could have shot this anywhere in the world, but I chose Montauk,” Dweck said. “To me, Montauk is a very hedonistic place. With the beaches, it’s a natural place. Still very much a small town compared to East Hampton.” Inspired by Playboy’s natural look during the late 1960s, Dweck set out to recapture the concept of the girl next door. “I wanted it to go back to Playboy in the 1960s because I think that’s

the charm of Playboy,” Dweck said. Setting out to find subjects who were “girls you’d want to know as a friend,” Dweck chose the five models — Jamie, Nicole, Reby, Camila and Carime — himself. “What all the girls have in common is that they all love the water,” Dweck said. “Everyone I photographed lived by the sea.” All of the models currently live in New York and summer in Montauk. Jamie was the sole Montauk native and Nicole grew up in Levittown. Two of the models are from Brazil. Jamie is a nineteen-year-old college student with beauty and brains. The five-foot-seven, (continued on the next page)

LOHAN REHAB IN THE WORKS IN SOUTHAMPTON? By Janine Cheviot Less than three months after his release from prison, Michael Lohan, father of Hollywood party girl and actress Lindsay Lohan, announced plans to open a church and rehab center in Southampton with support from wealthy financial backers, including Stephen Baldwin. The $15 million facility would be situated on a 10-acre lot on County Road 39, currently owned by Donald Havrilla, the pastor of the Southampton Full Gospel Church. Both Mr. Lohan and Mr. Baldwin have stumbled down the road of addiction before and wish to create a “faithbased” environment of wellness that offers high-end accommodations for affluent addicts. After being approached by the two men, Havrilla said he was “pleasantly surprised” by their ideas. Prior to their

meeting, Havrilla had never heard of Lindsay Lohan, but now says he is praying for her. Mr. Lohan became a minister while serving time for attempted assault, unlicensed driving and other charges. He currently counsels troubled youth, while still receiving treatment himself, at a facility in West Babylon. Mr. Baldwin, a born-again Christian, has focused mostly on evangelizing the youth of America since he converted shortly after 9/11. He has directed and produced several DVDs featuring Christian athletes involved in extreme sports and his book, Unusual Suspect, a NY Times bestseller, details his conversion to Evangelicalism. In January, he launched a ministry in San Diego called Uprising!, which features extreme sport competitions and Christian rock concerts.

In reference to the future patients of the proposed rehab center in Southampton, Pastor Havrilla said that they would not be spoiled. He added, “They must accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior if they are going to be here.” Does this mean that Britney Spears, a Kabbalist, would not be invited to enjoy the posh accommodations if she were to have another stint in rehab? And what exactly are the luxurious amenities that these centers offer? Aside from breathtaking views, high-end facilities such as Promises in Malibu and Wonderland in West Hollywood offer their “guests” private rooms with 1,000-thread count sheets, cozy fireplaces, tennis and basketball courts, swimming pools, spa treatments and horseback riding. A one-month stay costs (continued on page 38)

DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 30

Girls

(continued from previous page)

hazel-eyed babe with light brown hair is currently studying Architecture at Tulane University. “She’s local and represents what Playboy was about in the 1960s,” Dweck said, about handpicking Jamie. “She’s an all-American surfer girl.” Back on the East End for the summer, Jamie is working two summer jobs — one at a health food store in Montauk and the other at a Southwestern place in East Hampton. No one has questioned her decision to pose nude in Playboy thus far “Everyone out here is pretty liberal,” Jamie said during a phone interview. “Everyone who has found out is like, ‘Congrats!’ No one has

approached me like, ‘What the hell did you do?’” Jamie’s family was put at ease knowing Dweck was the one behind the lens. Dweck has known Jamie, her mother and her sister for almost five years. He has taken pictures of each of them at one point or another on the beaches of Montauk. This surfer girl who rides her bike to Ditch Plains and enjoys eating breakfast at John’s Pancake House and dinner at The Dock for its “awesome nachos,” says her life hasn’t changed too much since the shoot. Most likely due to the fact people haven’t seen the four photos of her — standing on a surfboard, leaning over a surfboard in the water, standing on the beach and lying on a towel next to a surfboard during a

bonfire — yet. But don’t expect to see crude photos in this Playboy Feature. “I guess it’s the type of pictures I take,” Dweck said about creating nude shots that are artistic and not over the top. “To me, some of them seem like snapshots. I don’t want to cross that line. This is the only line I know. Some people shoot exotic photos. That’s not my thing.” Paying homage to fashion photographer Helmut Newtown, who photographed for Playboy in the 1970s, Dweck shot his images in black and white or with faded colors as a tribute to the old school style of Playboy photography. Dweck also didn’t airbrush any of the photos. He said that it’s the first time in years that Playboy will run untouched, natural photos. “These girls, they’re not perfect,” Dweck said. “They’re very real.” In order to get good looking pictures, Dweck said there needs to be an element of trust between the photographer and his subject, as if the photos were taken by friends. “We booked out a hotel (Shepherds Neck Inn, now Solé East) in Montauk where it was only us together,” he said. “You live with each other for a week and photograph what happens. When you put people together things happen and that’s how I typically shoot.” Finding the comfort zone between himself and his subjects is important to Dweck, no matter who is modeling. “I talk to actress Maria Bello, when I photograph her, the same way I talk to Jamie,” Dweck said. “I’m interested in people’s lives.” Dweck’s approach to photography is similar to that of making a movie. To prepare for the shoot, he scouted locations and created a storyboard with 300 drawings. His shot locations included Camp Hero, South Lake, Turtle Cove, Montauk Lake, Fort Pond Bay, in town, at Ditch Plains and near Poles. During the week-long shoot in late (continued on page 39)

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DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 31

James Jones, Truman Capote, John Knowles and Willie Morris in 1975

Capote’s Return The Life and Times of Author Truman Capote in Bridgehampton By T.J. Clemente The wonderful sea breeze blows across the Hamptons every day. The sun rules this narrow strip of farmland inundated by multimillion-dollar homes. Lanes, Drives and Old Country Roads wind you through land with vistas no photo or painting can do justice. It was here that the tormented soul of Truman Capote sought solace, solitude and the company of close friends. Over the bar at Bobby Van’s is an old photo of Jim Jones, Truman, John Knowles and Willie Morris standing in front of the original Bobby Van’s, which was located across the street from the present one. Back then, a bar-

bershop occupied part of the location. Marty Trunzo, now 88 and still cutting hair in Sag Harbor, used to cut Howard Hughes’ hair for twenty cents and a quarter tip there. Born in New Orleans on September 30, 1924, Truman Streckfus Persons would be raised by his relatives in Alabama while his aunt Marie Rudisill became the “fruitcake lady” on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show. Truman would eventually take his stepfather’s last name. During Johnny Carson’s second marriage, Truman Capote had dinner with the legend and his wife sometimes three days a week in New York City. But it was Johnny’s wife, Joanne Carson, who was to be his friend to the very end.

Truman Capote also befriended East Hampton native Lee Radziwill, Jackie Kennedy’s sister. His list of female friends drew from a pool of all the wives of the most powerful and prominent men in the country, including CBS TV founder Bill Paley’s wife, Babe Paley. He would drive from one mansion to another to hear the sad tales of divorce, deceit and loneliness while cocktailing privately with the wives of the rich and famous. Openly gay, Truman kept a property in Bridgehampton where he and his non-exclusive life partner, playwright Jack Dunphy, had separate homes. (continued on the next page)

THE HAMPTONS CLUB SCENE STEPS UP A NOTCH By Sabrina C. Mashburn It’s Memorial Day weekend, 2007. You’re standing shoulder to shoulder with some of the most cosmetically-enhanced and scantily-clad members of the Long Island Long Leg Convention, pushing and shoving their bodies up against the velvet rope, shouting out a name, tossing around a few thousand dollars and hoping to get to where a DJ is spinning the hottest beats of the summer for all the beautiful people to dance to. Once inside, you see faces from every fashion magazine, hear some of your favorite artists sing along, karaoke-style, to their big single and clink glasses with some of

the most powerful people in every industry. And if you’re at Stereo by the Beach, Dune or any of this year’s other hot spots, when you exit the club you will be greeted by angry stiletto-wearers who just didn’t make the cut and are now seething at the back door. If this doesn’t sound like the Hamptons club scene from the long gone days of Jet East and Conscience Point, think again. This year’s club scene will be bigger and better than any others before it, as some of New York City’s most illustrious clubs have moved out to the Hamptons for the season. As one reveler exclaimed, “It’s like being able to go out in The City and then

wake up at the beach!” If you love the nightlife, the Hamptons are the place to be. So why is all this happening now? It’s not as if the Hamptons just became a hot spot to party. After all, most of these clubs have moved in to remodeled versions of clubs that came before them. Flirt Lounge and Bistro replaced Resort. Stereo by The Sea, the Hamptons incarnation of Stereo, replaced Tavern. Pink Elephant replaced Cabana. WhiteHouse replaced C.P.I. Dune, the beach outpost of Marquee, replaced the Hamptons outpost of their New York City neighbor, Cane, which had replaced Jet East the (continued on page 41)

DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 32

Capote

(continued from previous page)

Hired in 1972 by Rolling Stone Magazine to cover the touring Rolling Stones, Truman and Mick Jagger argued and eventually went at it. Unable to write the story, Capote himself was interviewed about the tour and Rolling Stone ran that. Andy Warhol interviewed Truman. Another favorite story is how Andy Warhol came to paint a portrait of Truman. Usually receiving almost a million dollars per portrait, Warhol instead made the deal to have Truman write one article a month for his magazine. At first, Capote would basically be interviewed by Andy about something and the story would run, but after a short time, Capote was in front of a typewriter, banging out great articles for Warhol until the deal was done. A public personality to the end of his life, Truman Capote was the ultimate guest at luncheons in the Hamptons. He eventually used the confidential information he learned at these intimate gatherings to write a piece for The New Yorker that burned many social bridges for him. Some say Capote was the queen of the bathhouse circuit in New York City, specializing in unaccomplished lovers. Yet, at the same time,

Truman at 22

he was on the arm of Katherine Graham for their famous “Black and White Balls” at the Plaza Hotel in New York, where guests had to wear black and white, as a reference to ink and

paper. Invitations to this ball were exclusive. After many successes, like his award-winning novel, In Cold Blood, Truman Capote drowned in his own success. In the process, he would beach himself long enough to make a splash here and there. In his decline, Truman was not glamorous or productive. Joanne Carson took him in and nursed him in his final years. He died in her home on August 25, 1984 at the age of 59. The cause of death was “liver disease complicated by phlebitis.” At first, he was interned at Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetery in Los Angeles. However, when his longtime partner in life, Jack Dunphy, died twelve years later, Truman’s remains where brought back to the East End and mixed together with the ashes of Jack Dunphy. Their ashes were then scattered at Crooked Pond, located between Bridgehampton and Sag Harbor. There are so many souls that must dance in the ocean breeze of the summer season of the Hamptons. In fact, it was Truman Capote who called the Hamptons, “Kansas with a sea breeze.” The dance is done by those so very alive and those deceased, who come back to their heaven on earth.

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Who’s Here By Sabrina C. Mashburn It’s hard to imagine summer in the Hamptons without the big white tents of weekly polo matches, the pounding of hooves and the exciting smash of a goal-scoring mallet and ball. However, before 1989, the only polo players in the Hamptons were embroidered on Ralph Lauren polo shirts. The man to thank for the arrival of this exciting facet of Hamptons summer life had never mounted a horse before then and had not even thought of playing polo before his wife, an avid equestrian, took up the sport. That man is Frank MacNamara and the club he started with his wife and their friends, the Southampton Hunt & Polo Club, has grown to be “probably the largest polo club in America,” according to Frank. What started as a gathering of a few of Frank’s closest polo-playing friends has blossomed into a beautiful stable with more than 200 horses and three playing fields where young colts and rescued horses are trained for their careers as top-notch polo ponies. One of Frank’s favorite aspects of the training component is the club’s ability to rescue horses bound for slaughter and give them the chance to become “made” polo ponies. “We just brought in two horses off the track and they are going to be polo ponies,” explains Frank. “They came from the Thoroughbred Retirement Foundation. Hopefully, in the next week or so, we’ll get two more from them.” The Thoroughbred Retirement Foundation is a horse rescue that takes in all registered thoroughbreds when their owners no longer want them. The Southampton Hunt & Polo Club’s first adopted horse, Belle, came from a slightly different but no less hopeless background. Frank explained that, “she is what we call a Premarin foal.” Premarin was a fertility drug made from the urine of pregnant mares. Since the mares used to make the drug had to be pregnant, thousands of foals were born with nowhere to go but the slaughterhouse. Frank adopted Belle, a registered Paint, when she was just a baby and immediately put her in training with a “horse whisperer” named Brad who was the trainer at the Southampton Hunt & Polo Club at the time. “He would take 45 minutes just to get her

Frank MacNamara

dent when he trains his players, from the most novice players to those looking to brush up on their game. Frank’s player-training program is also unique. “The whole program can be completed in a week,” says Frank. “The idea behind the ten-hour introductory program is that, after ten hours, the students should be able to safely play in a game against other beginners.” Although, “to play in other more advanced chukkas takes about two years.” One of the most exciting aspects of the novice-training program that Frank did not anticipate was the formation of the new Women’s League. “Polo has always been considered a man’s sport,” explained Frank. “But this year, we have had nineteen beginners and sixteen of them were women.” As a result, “this year, for the first time, on the Fourth of July, we are having our first Ladies’ League.” This is unique in that, most of the time, “the matches are mixed.” When asked if the Southampton Hunt & Polo Club and the Bridgehampton Polo Club, based at Two Trees Farms, are ever in competition, Frank explained that his club has an entirely different purpose than the Bridgehampton Polo Club. “The Bridgehampton Polo Club is really professional polo and represents the best polo you can see in America. Three quarters of the players there are superb, world-class players. Our polo is strictly club polo and recreational polo.” The Southampton Hunt & Polo Club is also a year-round event, with matches in Florida during the winter season, while the matches at the Bridgehampton club are only held on weekends in July and August. The result has been that “the Patrons of five out of the six teams at the Bridgehampton Polo Club are members” of the Southampton Hunt & Polo Club. That means that no matter how well the Patron’s professional teams play, the real score is settled on the fields of Southampton. Even David Walentas, the owner of Two Trees Farms, is a player at the Southampton Polo Club. This friendly competition is the highlight of many Hamptongoers’ summers, yet, as Frank explained, “years ago, the Group for the South Fork said we were ‘recreating on agricultural land.’” Luckily, after seven years of exile on the

President, Southampton Polo used to having one foot in the stirrup. It was amazing to watch him work with her.” Now, “the horse can walk across wooden slats with just a lead rope on.” And while she is playing polo, “she doesn’t flinch or change the position of her head, even when a ball is coming

Patrons of five out of the six teams at the Bridgehampton Polo Club are members of the Southampton Club. straight at her.” And the most miraculous part of the story? “She literally just graduated last year as a polo pony.” Success stories like these are testaments to the effectiveness of Frank’s methods when training his ponies. His patience and understanding are also evi-

(continued on page 56)

DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 34

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Twentysomething…By David Lion Rattiner The Van It’s true: your appearance has a lot to do with how people treat you. Especially in Sagaponack. On Sunday, I spent nearly the entire day Spring-cleaning my house/condo/amazing Ditch Plains (okay, screw you) eh hem, trailer, in Montauk. It was pretty awful. I had managed to borrow a van and also rounded up a troop to help with the piles of crap that I have accumulated over the past year. It’s embarrassing how much garbage I’ve allowed into my house. “Hey Dave, I have this dresser, would you like it?” “Sure!” “Hey Dave, I have this mangled bicycle, perhaps it would make a nice decoration in your house?” “Thanks pal!” All things of this nature were getting shipped out to the dump, and I was not a happy camper. My friend TJ and I got dressed up in our dirty wear. I threw on a guido-esque, oil-stained, white tank top, blue jeans and Yankees cap. I don’t remember how TJ was dressed. I don’t check out other men. Okay, he was also dressed like he just crawled out from under a hole. We looked like a paesan and goomba, with Long Island Jewish accents. The two of us loaded up the van and headed to the dump. Once we were finished throwing everything away, I suddenly realized that I no longer have a couch in my house. And so, I did what any normal local would do. I went yard sailing. Of course, it wasn’t until Sagaponack that I

saw a sign for a yard sale. “Holy crap!!! There is a yard sale in Sagaponack! This is going to be unbelievable.” “Dude, we should not walk around Sagaponack dressed like this. Especially driving in a van. Somebody is going to call the police on us.” “TJ, do you have any idea how amazing a yard

sale in Sagaponack is? These people don’t care, they just want to get rid of their stuff for new stuff. I could redecorate my whole place because of this luck.” I followed the sign, ripped the van around and zoomed into the $1 million per square yard piece of real estate and yard sale heaven that is Sagaponack. But to my despair, the signs kept leading me to empty roads with no yard sales. I kept doing U-turns and was driving up and down Main Street. I was getting frustrated and worried. It was pushing 5 p.m. now. “I’m going to ask somebody if they know where it is,” I said and I pulled the van up next to a woman jogging. There we were, two men, weighing 200 lbs each, driving sleeveless in a van in Sagaponack, asking this handsome female jogger where a yard sale was. You can guess how this went. “Hey, excuse me, Miss?” She peripheral-visioned me and then sped up and turned hard down Beech Street. I wasn’t about to give up just yet. I was just imagining Martha Stewart standing outside on a lawn with a brand new couch set just waiting for me to take it off her hands. “Maybe it’s over here.” I turned into the private community known to surfers as the Georgica Estates. Within minutes, an old man pulled up to me in a Mercedes. “You guys need help?” “Yes, I’m looking for the yard sale.” “Well there isn’t one in here. This is a private community and I don’t want you here,” and (continued on page 46) GVaanZ 7BL

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DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 36

Gas

(continued from page 23)

Thiele (R-Sag Harbor). And you can ask him how that turned out. He’s still our Assemblyman. The basic idea, of course, is that the price of gas ought to be the same wherever you go on Long Island. The original story I heard was that the retailers just threw their hands up when asked about it and said they were at the mercy of the wholesalers. The wholesalers said they were at the mercy of the truckers. And the truckers said, well, the problem was in Texas, or, later, in Alaska, or, later, in Saudi Arabia. One time, I actually stopped a trucker on the highway and asked him about it. “It’s how far you drive from the storage tanks,” he told me. “There’s none out east, so

we have to charge more the farther away from it we get. It’s all printed up in a rule book.” “But Montauk is just eighteen miles further out than East Hampton,” I said. “You’re holding me up,” he said, revving his engine. “It’s also based on time. So if it’s fewer miles but windier roads, it’s more. If people stopped accosting us and let us do this job, we’d take less time, use less gasoline and we could get on with it.” He shifted into a forward gear. I stepped aside. In more recent times, I have heard that the

gas companies charge more in wealthy areas than in poor areas. Or that they can charge whatever the hell they want, wherever the hell the want. This morning, I heard a commercial on WINS News Radio brought to us by the American Oil Industry Association, during which they said, among other things, that the outdated laws placed on oil companies in the 1970s were crippling them and that we should urge our congressmen to have them repealed. One of the laws they wanted repealed involves government regulation of oil prices. •

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DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 37

Triumph

(continued from page 26)

there and that person has to sit sideways, with his or her shoes on the plank. There is no seatbelt for either of the front seats, no airbags, no antilock brakes, no 2 1/2 m.p.h., springing front and back bumpers, nothing. Hit anything and you’re dead. So you drive slow, for two reasons. One is that something might break if you drive fast. The other is that you might hit something if you drive fast. And you are not, in the 21st century, going to easily find a replacement part for something that was made in 1959. And this leads me to the first of the many joys of owning this car. One is the insurance rate. I pay $96 a YEAR for insurance on my 1959 TR-3. The actuaries who establish the rates at the insurance companies have discovered that people with these old sports cars almost NEVER get into accidents. So it’s $96 a year. The next joy is how you start the car. You open the hood and check its fluids. Brake fluid. Oil. Water. If anything is low, you fill it up. You’re ready. You close the hood. Get behind the wheel. Pump the gas ten times to prime the engine, pull out the choke all the way, push in the starter button and say a little prayer. The starter motor might make a click and then a whine, so try it again. Usually, the second time, it turns over and over and over and, after a while, the engine responds by firing up. It makes a big racket. Everybody cheers. Smoke comes out of the exhaust pipe and there is this wonderful smell of oil and gas that fills the garage and reminds you of a time long ago when garages smelled like this.

It’s working. Life is good. It also reminds some people of what you have to go through to start a small airplane. And so you depress the clutch, shift into reverse, back out of the garage, go to neutral, then to first and you are off. There is no synchromesh in the transmission, so you cannot slow down and have the gears automatically change at certain speeds. You do it yourself, depressing the clutch and jerking the floormounted gearshift this way and that to get it in sync enough to change gears without grinding the transmission. It’s an art. And soon, when you get to about 35 miles per hour, you are in your top gear and it just winds out in

that gear until it is going as fast as it can go. I know how fast it can go. One night, about 1981, at one in the morning, I had a fight with my girlfriend. She ran out of the house, slammed the door and drove off toward New York City. I followed in the TR-3. We went through downtown East Hampton, Bridgehampton and Southampton, I was keeping up with her at about 75 miles-perhour and then we got out on County Road 39 and Sunrise Highway and she opened up. She was driving, at that time, a black, brand-new 6-cylinder Chevy Chevette with a sunroof. Not a big deal of a car. And I kept up with her as she accelerated past the Shinnecock Canal at 85-miles-per-hour. Then, at Hampton Bays, at 95, she just pulled away and disappeared ahead of me into the darkness. The TR-3 was wide open, roaring away at 88 miles-per-hour. And that was it. It was trying and almost succeeding in breaking the sound barrier, had there been one, at 88 miles-perhour. There were no police around. But I knew this baby was about to blow. And so I slowed down, then turned around and, sadly, went back through the darkness toward home. “Way to go girl,” I said to the car. “You did the best that you could.” The girlfriend came back in the morning. Later, we married. Then, eight years later, divorced. But that’s another story. No. I would never part with my Triumph TR-3. Today, in her dotage, she still runs well, at (continued on the next page)

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DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 38

Triumph

(continued from previous page)

low speeds anyway and I won’t test her at anything over 55. But she does tend to overheat after about ten minutes of driving. Then, for whatever reason, the oil pressure starts to drop, the water temperature starts to rise and, although it does level off at five pounds of pressure and about 385 degrees — still not in a danger zone — you begin to hear the clicking noise of the metal valves on the top of the

Lohan

TO O M

we can look at it and we’ll take good care of it, and I take the key and then give them a few bucks at the end of the evening for watching it. But no, you won’t find me in Montauk or anywhere further west than Southampton in the TR-3, unless I stop halfway there for half an hour to let her cool down and then do it again on the way back. Sell her? Never. I hope to be buried sitting upright behind the wheel in the driver’s seat. •

(continued from page 29)

about $50,000. Sounds more like a relaxing, upscale resort to me — just what the Hamptons need. Mr. Lohan hopes to use the Southampton facility to help people like his daughter. He said, “When Lindsay puts God back in her life, things will turn around.” And it’s no secret that she certainly needs the help. This past Memorial Day weekend was memorable for many of us, but Lindsay probably didn’t remember most of it, as hers went something like this: After a long night of partying, at about 5:30 a.m. Saturday morning, Lindsay crashed her 2005 black SL-65 Mercedes into a curb and a tree on Sunset Boulevard in West Hollywood. She then fled the scene and was later arrested for being under the influence of alcohol. To make matters worse, police found “a usable amount of cocaine” in her car. The next night, instead of laying low, Lindsay was phoZE

engine not getting enough oil and if you ignore that, a sort of ominous banging noise begins and only God knows where it comes from. The fair range of the TR-3 is, therefore, from East Hampton, where I live, to Bridgehampton or Water Mill on the west and perhaps LUNCH and Cyril’s Bar on the Napeague Stretch to the east. I go to people’s homes in it. I take it to where valet parkers are and won’t let them drive it, but they say just park it right here so

tographed in a friend’s car, passed out, mouth hanging open with a hood over her head as she left a bar in Hollywood. Maybe she was sleeping, but ironically, an Alcoholics Anonymous “30 days sober” chip dangled from the car’s mirror. Perhaps she didn’t understand that those medallions represent 30 days sober IN A ROW. Regardless, Lindsay ended the holiday weekend on Monday by checking herself into the Promises treatment facility in Malibu, California, for the second time in six months. It has been reported that her 21st birthday party, scheduled for July 2 — just days after she would leave rehab — at the nightclub Pure in Las Vegas, will go on no matter what happens while she is at Promises. Her lawyer released a statement, “part of sobriety is that you can go out into normal society and just go out. Who says you can’t move your booty on the dance floor?”

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DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 39

Sharks

(continued from page 22)

and then eviscerated and de-gutted right in front of women and children and so forth. The Humane Society missed the fact that high school biology teachers in the area sometimes take students down to the docks to watch fish of all sorts, not just sharks, be cleaned and prepared for market. As for the Town Supervisor, he says he will issue the permits. He says he understands their concerns, but there are plenty of other government bodies that regulate the num-

Girls

bers of fish caught and he hasn’t heard from any of them about shark fishing. The fact is that when a particular fishery declines, the catching of that fish is limited by the authorities until the stocks can revive. Then it is once again open season. I think there ought to be a public hearing about all of this. Not for humans. For sharks. I suggest that a sign be posted underwater on a coral reef off in the ocean somewhere inviting all sharks to come into Montauk

Harbor on a particular day at a particular time to listen to what the Humane Society has to say about killing and eating. Mr. Grandy and some of the others from the Humane Society could then be lowered into the water — they won’t be heard above water — to explain their position to the sharks and describe to them just how much better off they will be, emotionally, physically and mentally, with these shark tourna• ments shut down.

(continued from page 30)

September, the models and a crew of about twenty people woke up at 4:30 every morning and ended their day around 11 p.m. Dweck shot about a thousand photos a day. “The light in Montauk is the prettiest I’ve ever seen,” Dweck said. “That’s probably why De Kooning and Warhol loved it. These pictures are warm because of that light.” Dweck said it was a dream come true working with Playboy. “It’s kind of an honor when they come to you and give you carte blanche and say you can do anything you want,” Dweck said. “Complete freedom to photograph what you want, that’s very rare today. That’s why Helmut Newton’s images are so strong.” With his first Playboy experience completed, Dweck said he is in the process of talking about

Jamie

a new project with the magazine. Meanwhile, Jamie has already worked with Playboy a second time. She was chosen as a

model in “Playboy’s Best-Dressed Man on Campus” shot by Nigel Barker. Barker is best known as being a judge on the television show, “America’s Next Top Model.” As excited as Playboy’s faithful (Playboy sells around three million copies in the United States each month) will be to see Dweck’s interpretation of “The Girls of Montauk,” Jamie says she doesn’t want to know who’s looking at the pictures. “I try to avoid thinking of that,” Jamie said. “It’s kind of, not creepy, but I don’t want to know.” Even with her modeling career thriving, Jamie said it’s not her main priority. But she knows she’ll be proud of her work when she looks back on her modeling days. “It’s definitely a great experience,” Jamie said. “You can show your kids in 20 years and say, ‘Look kids, mommy was hot!’”

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DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 40

The Sheltered Islander The Sheltered Islander #450 Paris in June Well, today’s the big day, the day we’ve all been worried about. Paris Hilton starts her twenty-one-day jail sentence for driving drunk without a license while having her license suspended for driving drunk without a license. I’ve been up all night worrying about her. Since we lost Anna Nicole, it falls upon Paris to be our official worthless celebrity hussy. Her every move must be documented and reported to keep us from stressful news like the increased US naval maneuvers in the gulf guarding the increased exports of Iraqi oil by Halliburton/Exxon. Lite and trite beats might and fight when it comes to news broadcasting. Thinking about the punishment Paris has to endure got me to thinking. Shelter Island is always looking for ways to increase revenues. What if we ran a Sheltered Celebrity Shelter? Then important celebrities could do their “time” here and we wouldn’t even have to build a separate building for them, just assign them to live with a local family. “You have to get up, Paris.” “What? It’s only 7 a.m.!” “Yea, but it’s summertime. We have to get to the IGA by 8:30 to get a good parking spot and get out while it’s still cool. The cool only lasts

until 10 a.m. We gotta shop, get home and unpack the groceries.” “Why don’t we go tonight, if you’re so worried about the heat?” “IGA closes at 6 p.m.” “So we’ll go somewhere else.”

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“Nowhere to go. It’s the only grocery store on the Island. Except for Fedi’s, which is our version of 7/11, but it closes at 7 p.m.” “How can you live here?” “After we bring in the groceries and unpack, we have to organize the garbage and recycle.” “What do you mean, ‘organize the garbage?”’ “We have to separate all the recyclables — glass, plastics, paper — from the nonrecyclable garbage.” “That’s so sick. Can’t the garbage men separate that stuff at the curb when they pick it up?” “There’s no garbage pick up here.” “What? How do you get rid of your garbage?” “We take it all to the dump ourselves and put all the recycling in the appropriate bins. It’s very exciting. You meet everybody at the dump and get to talk to lots of people.” “Ewww! That is whack! Tell me the truth, I’m in hell aren’t I?” “And the non-recyclable garbage has to be bagged in special yellow Town Bag that we buy at the store.” “Why does your garbage need to be in special bags?” (continued on page 46)

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Club

(continued from page 31)

year before. Sean Gallagher, hairstylist to the stars — Giselle Bundchen, Petra Nemcova, Adriana Lima, Jessica and Ashlee Simpson, just to name a few — and one of New York City’s top club promoters explained why New York City clubs have taken over the East End this year. “To really exist [as a successful club,]” he said, “you need to be more than a nightclub.” A club needs to be a brand. And to succeed as a brand, it needs to promote its name, its logo, its style — and follow its customers. “When there are events around the country, [the clubs] try to get their brand out there. Marquee throws parties at Sundance, Pink Elephant is opening up in Chicago, and a lot of clubs want to be in Vegas.” And every one of them wants to be in the Hamptons. Each club has a team of marketing and PR representatives behind them, as well as sponsors who provide the funding clubs need to send their top people all over the country to sell the brand and ensure that no matter which incarnation of the club you visit, you will have a similar experience. These sponsors are usually luxury alcohol companies like Hennessey and Level vodka, but they can be as seemingly unrelated to the nightlife as car companies such as Cadillac — which is the reason every club parking lot in the Hamptons is crawling with

Stereo by the Sea

Escalades. This symbiotic relationship fortifies the club’s brand by allowing them to branch out across the country and fortifies the sponsor’s brand in New York City, a notoriously hard city to win over with traditional advertising methods. The promoters are an instrumental part of this courtship between customer and brand. It is their job to ensure that the people who are spending thousands of dollars to sit at a table in these clubs get the experience they are paying for. The clubs usually provide their best promoters with summer houses — which the promot-

ers then fill with models and their beautiful friends — and vans or SUVs with drivers, to ensure that the beautiful people get to the club every night unharmed. Most promoters, therefore, have jobs that enable them to make connections to beautiful people wherever they go. Gallagher explained that, when he works on a photo shoot or styles hair for fashion shows in Bryant Park, “it does nothing but strengthen the brand.” In return, these beautiful people get to party as much as they want, anywhere they want, usually free of charge. “My clients from the salon will text me when they’re coming out.” When he responds, Sean tells them where the parties are. Other people Sean works with at Hamptons clubs are fashion designers, film producers and screenwriters, who all provide the club with access to Hollywood’s brightest stars. Of course, the success of the Hamptons club outposts is not solely based on the prowess of the promoters. Both Sean Gallagher and Hamptons celebrity DJ Joel Rodney (a.k.a. DJ Biggie) commented that the appeal of the beach and the unseasonably beautiful weather over Memorial Day weekend got the clubbing season off to a wildly successful start. No one at any of the clubs was prepared for the surge of bodies that would be pushing against the ropes in front (continued on page 56)

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South O’ the Highway

(and the North too)

(continued from page 20)

Arena on June 11. Adoptable pooches will be accompanied by the likes of BeKind founder and Hamptonite Frances Hayward; Court TV’s Catherine Crier, also a Hamptonite, wearing an outfit designed by Hamptons designer Jackie Rogers; Christy Scott Cashman; Stacy London; Cornelia Guest, who has a film coming out soon with Lindsay Lohan; and Richard Belzer. Guests include Harriette Rose Katz, Campion and Tatiana Platt, Fred and Vicki Modell, DeJuan Stroud, Salvatore Strazzullo and Jodie Fanelli, Plum TV’s Alison Chace, Bentley Meeker, Rodolfo Valentin and Alison Becker Hurt. All human and canine fashions will be sold online, with proceeds benefiting the Humane Society of New York. * * * Sag Harbor’s Bay Street Theatre will be rooting for many of their performers, playwrights, and designers who are up for Tony awards this year, including Christine Ebersole, Dana Ivey, Debra Monk, Mary Louise Wilson, Rupert Holmes and Michael Ritchie. * * * Dan’s Papers writer and author of Duckhampton, Christian McLean, presented his short play, Men With Hunger, at the Samuel French Playwriting Contest last Wednesday, June 6 in New York City. * * * Westhampton’s Ann Liguori will be signing copies of her book, A Passion for Golf: Celebrity Musings About the Game, at Brunetti Hair & Beauty on Main Street in Westhampton Beach on Thursday, June 7. Register to play in the 10th Annual Ann Liguori American Cancer Society Golf Classic taking place on Monday, June 25, at Olde Vine Golf Club in Riverhead. Call the American Cancer Society at 631-300-3151. * * * Thomas Krens, Director of the Guggenheim Foundation, co-hosted a photography exhibit for Hamptons photographer Peter Beard with Russian real estate developer Janna Bullock at her Norman Jaffe home in Southampton. Among the guests dining on Elegant Affairs’ lobster rolls were Steven Klein, Tara Subkoff, Jackie Rogers, Campion and Tatiana Platt, Alison Chace, Frances Hayward, Mike Latham, Michele Gerber Klein, Michelle Marie, Andrew Borrok, Michael Sinensky, Salvatore Strazzullo and Jodie Fanelli. The Jaffe house will be open to the public on weekends in June and features art by Andy Warhol, (continued on the next page)

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DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 43

South O’ the Highway

(and the North too)

(continued from the previous page)

Robert Indiana, Roy Lichtenstein and David Salle. * * * Hamptons artist Clifford Ross will be presenting his newest works in an exhibition at The Drawing Room in East Hampton titled “Small Water.” The exhibition opens on Friday, June 8 and closes on Saturday, July 9. A reception for the artist will be held on Saturday, July 7. * * * This week’s cover artist, our very own Michael Paraskevas and his mother, Betty Paraskevas have a new book out. The book, Chocolate at the Four Seasons is available at all bookstores and at their gallery in Westhampton Beach. The painting on the cover is from their book, Monster Beach. Their next book, Peter Pepper’s Pet Spectacular, will be published in September, but advanced copies will be on sale at the Paraskevas Gallery this summer. * * * The Group for the East End will celebrate its 35th Anniversary with a gala catered by Robbins Wolfe Eventeurs at the Wölffer Estate Vineyard in Sagaponack on June 16. Guests will join cochairs Nicole Miller, Kim Taipale, Anne Hearst and Jay McInerney in a night of food and fun.

BREAKING NEWS AWOL Soldier Stopped on Route 48 By Brittany Allen Iraq War veteran Christopher Henessy, 27, of Riverhead, was arrested during a routine traffic stop after the police officer discovered he was AWOL for desertion. Henessy was pulled over early Sunday morning on Route 48 in Cutchogue after he was spotted driving erratically by a police officer at 1:17 a.m. After entering Henessy’s name into a computer database, the officer discovered that Henessy had a suspended license and registration, along with a felony warrant for his arrest issued by the United States Army. Henessy explained to the officer that he had been in the army for seven years, including time in Iraq, earning a Purple Heart. Henessy was issued tickets for driving with a suspended license and an unregistered vehicle and was held on the warrant at the Southold police station. Military officers from Brooklyn retrieved Henessy on Sunday night for extradition to Fort Knox, Tenn. The United States army classifies soldiers as AWOL — absent without official leave — when soldiers leave their post for more than 30 days. AWOL offenses are handled by the military through court-martial, discharge, rehabilitation or administrative punishment.

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DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 44

Photos By Justin DeMarco

BONACKERS WIN L.I. CLASS A SOFTBALL TITLE

By Justin DeMarco A sea of maroon shirted parents and fans lined the eastbound shoulder of Montauk Highway early Tuesday evening eagerly awaiting the arrival of the yellow East Hampton school bus carrying the womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s softball Long Island Class A Champions. Blaring horns and loud roars alerted the crowd the bus was on its way into Wainscott, as it passed the Saracen sign. The Bonackersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; players screamed and waved to the fans as the bus driver pulled over onto the shoulder. A police officer then temporarily stopped traffic to allow the school bus to be escorted back to East Hampton High School. A red fire truck with its siren on and lights flashing led the way as the bus merged back onto the road. Fans with â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bonac Softball 2007 Long Island Champsâ&#x20AC;? or other variations signifying the victory written on their rear glass windows joined

the procession that was anchored by police trucks. The celebration continued at the high school. With smiles on their faces and arms around one another swaying back and forth in a circle, the softball team sang along to Dean Martinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Amoreâ&#x20AC;? blasting from a car stereo. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Every year down in Florida we find a song we click with,â&#x20AC;? winning pitcher Jessie Stavola said, noting â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a Small Worldâ&#x20AC;? was last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s song. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We just find a song thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unique and no one else has.â&#x20AC;? The team has come a long way since spring training in Florida, amassing a 24-1 record on the year, en route to the Southeast Regional Finals in Binghamton after defeating Clarke 2-1 in the Long Island Class A Championship game played at the Town of Brookhaven Bellport Park. In the top of the sixth inning with East

Hampton leading 2-0 thanks to a first inning run scored by third baseman Nicole Fierro on a passed ball and right fielder Devin Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Brien reaching the plate on an error in the fifth, Clarke started a rally. With two outs and runners on second and third, Stavola threw a pitch that was hit and floating towards centerfield. It looked as if the ball was going to fall in for a single. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I was hoping weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d just get away with the tying run scoring,â&#x20AC;? Coach Lou Reale said he was thinking at the time. East Hampton centerfield Molly Nolan sprawled out and made a diving catch, keeping Clarke scoreless and the Bonackers still in control of the Long Island Championship. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I knew she had it,â&#x20AC;? Stavola said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Being a freshman and making a catch like that in the Long Island Championship, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m so proud of (continued on page 58)

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Riverhead

(continued from page 19)

President Jimmy Carter made an exception to the rule and, in order to bolster the Shah, ordered 80 of the planes to be shipped to him. They arrived with a full complement of spare parts, operation manuals and about 100 trainers and mechanics from Grumman in Riverhead to instruct the Shahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s air force on how to use them. They never completed their mission. Five months after their arrival, the Shah was overthrown in a bloody military coup and forced to flee into exile. At the main Iranian airbase outside of Tehran, the Grumman workers were evacuated by C-47s, taking as many parts as they could carry. They never returned. From that day to this, the Iranians have never been able to use the F-14s for the purpose they were intended. There have been a few instances where Iranian pilots were able to get them up into the air and fly them around. But, apparently, they have never been able to figure out how to work the sophisticated armaments. Several F-14s have crashed. There were cases of Iranians being executed for either stealing parts off F-14s to sell them (back to the United States?) or for damaging the aircraft. Death was the penalty for damaging government property, unless a man or his

family could scrape up the money to repair the damage. One man accidentally set off a pilotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ejection seat while in the cockpit and, though he parachuted to earth safely, he was arrested upon landing and ultimately had to pay the supreme penalty. How many Iranian F-14s are operational after all these years is not known but it is thought that the number is fewer than 10. At this point, however, what with the present Iranian government developing Atomic bombs and other weapons, an effort is apparently being made to get those F-14s flying again. At the present time, except for two American squadrons that remain in service, all remaining F-14s are being handed over to a company called Government Liquidations Inc., which is

in charge of dismantling the aircraft and destroying the remains. The problem, however, is that Government Liquidations, in making itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s contract with the government, got the government to agree that, under certain circumstances, individual planes and spare parts could escape the crusher if they were to be used by air show operators, museum owners or antique collectors. By the time the paperwork for this part of the contract got down the government food chain, the ultimate document only contained the caveat that parts or whole airplanes could be sold as long as the buyer signed a form promising that they would not sell any parts of an F-14 to any foreign government. In discovering the crates of F-14 parts in Abibâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s possession, however, government investigators determined, by looking at the serial numbers of these parts, that they had arrested somebody else a few years ago for trying to sell exactly these particular parts. Somehow, after that arrest and conviction, the parts had gone around and come around and now here is Tabib, trying to ship them. Maybe the Iranians intend to use these parts, some others, and a bit of tape, chicken wire and scotch tape to fashion something that could carry an A-bomb. â&#x20AC;˘

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DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 46

Sheltered

(continued from previous page)

“The sale of the bags pays for the operation of the dump.” “Can’t the bags pay for garbage men too?” “No. Then we’d have to charge more and the bags are pricey enough as it is.” “When my father sends my money, I’ll buy you a garbage truck. Wake me when the mail comes.” “No mail delivery, Paris. We all pick up our mail at the Post Office. We do that after the dumps. We’ll run into the same group at the Post Office as at the dumps because we all do things in a pattern and we all empty the garbage out of our cars before we pick up packages.”

Twentysomething

“Great, I’m doing time in Green Acres. Well, after the shopping and the dumps and the Post Office, can we at least go shopping?” “Sure! We have a few stores.” “How few is few?” “Umm, Cornucopia, Bliss’ and Jack’s Marina.” “How many floors in Cornucopia?” “One. One floor, one room.” “Which is the shoe store?” “Well, Bliss’ has Topsiders.” “Topsiders? Are they Italian?” “No, practical.” “Did you say a marina?” “Yes, Jack’s has marine supplies and toys,

(continued from page 35)

before I could give him the finger, he sped off. I was feeling pretty defeated and also unwelcome, and then another woman went by us and I was filled with glory. “Miss? Do you know where the yard sale is?” She took off her iPod buds, “Why yes I do…” She smiled and ran off. What a wonderful human being. I pulled into the Sagaponack estate to find remnants of a yard sale. There were maybe two things out on the lawn, the rest, I guessed, were hidden inside of a garage. “They’re closed, dude, I can see everything is under the tarp, let’s go,” TJ said. “I’m going to knock on the door.” As I approached the door, I imagined a

Charlton Heston/Hugh Hefner type of guy answering it with a giant 12-gauge shotgun asking me what the hell I was doing on his property with the 12-gauge pointed right at my head. After all, this was the country and TJ was right, I didn’t look like your typical Sagaponackian. I got an adrenaline rush. I’m risking my life for a cheap couch, I thought. God, I’m such a Jew. But the woman that answered my knock was wonderful and nice. She was a middle-aged woman dressed in a bathrobe, looking as if she just got out of the shower. I introduced myself and explained why I was dressed poorly and the ordeal I just went through to get to her yard

GEORGE’S UNBIASED HOW TO UNWIND TIP #1. You moved out to the Hamptons to unwind. To escape t h e pressure; the noise; the pace; the traffic. Now, if you could only convince the kids to relax a little more and bring out the grandchildren more often... Everything would be perfect. You want them to relax? Get a pool. A Kazdin Pool, of course.

puzzles, and games.” “Of course! When I think ‘toys,’ I always think, ‘marina.’ I’m going to need to hit a good liquor store tonight and get some tequila after today.” “Both liquor stores close by 7 PM. Who are you calling on your cell?” “My lawyer. Shhhh. Hi, this is Paris. Get me off this island that time forgot! Get me in a real jail, puhleez!” “Oh, Paris, don’t go. It’s not so bad once you get used to it.” “Why would I want to get used to this? You people are insane!” “No, but it helps.”

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sale and she smiled, “You just missed it, we have some other things that we were going to sell tomorrow, but now everything has been moved into the garage. I looked at the garage with my imaginary x-ray vision and I saw the living room set, I saw a new bathroom, I saw a king size bed. “I’ll be back,” I said, Terminator 2 style, and waved goodbye. As I left, I lost my balance and accidentally landed on the lawn, but then immediately jumped back onto the walkway. “It’s so nice to see a young man that was raised right.” She said to me. I smiled and walked off and decided then and there that the people of Sagaponack are wonderful.

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Whispers With Gina Glickman “OLD SCHOOL HAMPTONS” The twenty-year-old landmark club, which anchored the infamous “Tavern” sign in Southampton on Tuckahoe Lane, is visible off of Montauk Highway and now reads, “Stereo By The Shore.” Club financiers Michael Satsky and Barry Mullineaux are the proud owners of SBTS and poured more than one million dollars into club renovations. “The Old Tavern didn’t have palm trees, so I had to bring in thirty palms. The ceilings were raised,

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the walls were knocked down, the colors changed, the outside cabanas are different, and nothing is really the same,” shared Satsky. Now, you may find some of the same crowd from Stereo’s Manhattan club, but SBTS has a mission according to Satsky, “We intend to bring back the old Hamptons. New York City, young Hollywood, it’s that formula.” Satsky revealed his take on old school Hamptons, “The Hampton veterans, people that have houses here, have always had houses here, and don’t go out unless it’s a good reason, I personally know them, they’re recognizable by name and face and when they’re in a room everybody recognizes, and that’s really what’s happening here.” On opening weekend, Saturday night the VIP area was literally overflowing with Victoria’s Secret Supermodels including Alessandra Ambrosio, who was celebrating Ana Beatriz Barios and Fernanda Motta’s Birthdays. Across the VIP room, self-proclaimed “Queen of all Media,” Perez Hilton was lounging in a banquette, just waiting for a drop of celebrity gossip, “I love celebrities, because they’re crazy,” he snarled. Hilton’s website receives more than 5 million hits a day, and has become a credible news source for entertainment shows worldwide. Hilton revealed to me what happens when he actually comes face to face with celebrities that he has literally scribbled on. Perez laughed, “I run!” How does Perez sleep at night? “The most important thing for me is I don’t care, I don’t care what anybody thinks, I don’t care what anybody says. I just have fun.” Hilton’s message to celebrity prey, “I’m never wrong. Don’t read my website if (continued on page 53)

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2007 Classic

(continued from page 25)

for bidding. The majority of the bidders are not devout collectors, but host an isolated desire to â&#x20AC;&#x153;someday own that 1969 Mercedes 280SL.â&#x20AC;? The market value of a classic car varies in different parts of the country or, for that matter, parts of the world. For example, certain vintage automobiles command a greater market value anywhere southwest of Chicago and even greater value in Western Europe. Interestingly, at present, the most vigorous market for certain rare classic autos exists in Japan. Cosmopolitan regions also significantly affect market values â&#x20AC;&#x201D; auction sales that occur in proximity to large cities average approximately 20 percent higher than those that take place in rural areas. Mr. Mole has set the biddersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; registration at $75.00. The sales commission to the auction

organization derives from the buyer as well as the seller â&#x20AC;&#x201D; 5 percent is paid by the former and 10 percent by the latter. The sellers incur another fee to register their vehicles for auction: $250.00 if they avail the automobile without a reserve (a reserve is a minimum bid required to sell the vehicle), and $500.00 if the autos sell with a reserve. Mr. Mole anticipates approximately 75 cars registered for auction, including a Mini-Cooper Traveler of the sixties vintage owned by Matt Lauer, the news anchor. The roster of vehicles will most probably include a blend of American and European classics, ranging in average value between $10,000 and $250,000. The auction and the Concours dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Elegance will take place on the fields of the Hayground Free Estimates

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Announcing a new summer grant program for East End nature and wildlife preserves and conservancies If your nonprofit organization is looking for summer funding for projects promoting coastal biodiversity, preserving the integrity of the natural ecosystem, or protecting endangered species, submit your application now to 2007grant@rarewildflower.org (deadline June 30, 2007).

Some of the East End’s endangered or at-risk species

The Brine Family Trust is seeking grant proposals from East End Long Island nonprofits for programs devoted to nature and wildlife conservancy. The Trust will fund projects that serve to reclaim and maintain the natural ecosystems of East End’s ocean habitats, bays, beaches and flats, estuaries, streams, creeks, shorelines, and tidal wetlands. 2007 grant awards range from $4,000 to $29,000. East End Long Island summer support 2007 grant award levels Organizations applying for an award are encouraged to apply for the cash grant award level justified by the project’s requirements. Five grants will be awarded: $29,000, $18,000, $11,000, $7,000, and $4,000. Only seek funds for projects that can reasonably be completed in 2007–2008. Grants are awarded based on need. Allocation of administrative overhead is limited to 7 percent of project budget.

Grant recipients guidelines Grants will be awarded to operating charitable foundations, preserves, conservancies and trusts with a history of achieving results on the East End of Long Island. To qualify for a grant the nonprofit is required to be a recognized 501(c)(3), established over three years ago, with a 2006 budget of $200,000 or more.

Grant-making cycle The grant-making cycle is streamlined to provide funds for 2007 projects. To apply for a grant on behalf of your organization, follow the guidelines established below and e-mail us at 2007grant@rarewildflower.org. Please note, due to our staff size, we are unable to receive requests for proposals by post, or inquires by phone.

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The project is worth doing It can achieve results The results can be measured The project is well designed The proposed budget is adequate

Grant timeline 1. Application deadline June 30, 2007. Qualified 501(c)(3) non-profit organizations submit the proposal by e-mail to 2007grant@rarewildflower.org. The application should include your organization’s name, address, phone number, 501(c)(3) tax id number, mission statement, annual budget, number of full-time employees and a 1,500 word description of the proposed project with an itemized budget. Small targeted grant requests are encouraged.

The Fin Whale There are approximately 200–400 fin whales in the waters of New York. The fin whale is the most abundant large baleen whale in the Long Island region. They are the second largest species of whale and the second largest animal ever to have lived. An endangered species since the inception of the U.S. Endangered Species Act of 1970, the fin whales face a high risk of extinction in the wild. Photo: A. H. Kopelman for CRESLI The Roseate Tern The East End of Long Island has one of the two largest roseate tern colonies in the Western Hemisphere. The colony located at Great Gull Island off eastern Long Island has more than 1,000 pairs. Photo: National Audubon Society

The Karner Blue Butterfly The endangered Karner blue butterfly is a small butterfly with a wing span of approximately one inch. The butterfly feeds exclusively on the leaves of the blue lupine found in pine/scrub oak communities. Photo: New York State Department of Environmental Conservation

The Sandplain Gerardia The sandplain gerardia, the only federally endangered plant species in New York State is an extremely rare wildflower that only blooms for a day with pink or purple flowers. Long Island has six of the ten world populations of the sandplain gerardia in the coastal grassland areas. Photo: Eleanor Saulys, CT Botanical Society

2. Grant awards July 31, 2007. All grantees will be notified of the 2007 award recipients by e-mail and cash awards processed. Each grantee organization will receive two-thirds of the award at the project inception and one-third at completion. 3. Interim project reports March 31, 2008. Each awardee will submit interim written evaluation and digital-photo documentation of the project . 4. Final report June 30, 2008. All awardees will submit final program report by e-mail, with project assessment and digital-photo documentation. After the final program report has been accepted and reviewed, the funds for the last third of the cash award will be released and processed. Final funds will not be released unless the final rreport is received by June 30, 2008. 5. Publication of the final report September 30, 2008. The Brine Family Trust will e-publish a project report for the benefit of all organizations funded by the program. The report will include completed program evaluations and digital-photo documentation

About the Brine Family Charitable Trust The Brine Family Charitable Trust was established in 1989 to support New York’s medical, educational, cultural institutions. Over the past eighteen years the trust has supported projects on behalf of the Foundation for Children with Aids, the Whitney Museum of American Art, New York University, the Weill Cornell Medical Center, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the World Monument Fund, the Institute for International Cooperation, the Parks Council and others. The 2007–2008 East End Long Island Summer Support Grant Program at 2007grant@rarewildflower.org is the first program undertaken by the trust to support the natural environment. The objective of the program is to fund projects serving to preserve and recover the natural ecosystems in the East End’s ocean habitats, bays, beaches and flats, estuaries, streams, creeks, shorelines and tidal wetlands. The Brine Family Charitable Trust is a recognized 501(c)(3) established as a private nonoperating foundation under section 509(a) of the Internal Revenue Code. Records are available for inspection at Brine Charitable Trust, 254 Katonah Avenue, Suite 201, Katonah, New York 10536. The trust does not accept donations.

Grant-administration protocols The trust’s goal is to effectuate a streamlined, grant-making process that is not administratively burdensome to grantseeking participants. All communication will be conducted through e-mail at 2007grant@rarewildflower.org. Grant proposals are limited to 1,500 words. Notification of grant awards and cash funding will be timely. Two-thirds of the grant will be processed at the project inception and the last third on documentation of completion. An e-publication will be sent by the trust to all participating organizations.

DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 53

Whispers

(continued from page 47)

you don’t like the truth, you can’t handle it.” Jonathan Cheban and Simon Huck of Command PR were hard at work entertaining the models and making sure VIPs were taken care of, including Samantha Cole and Anna Anisimova, who giggled, “Believe it or not, I am wearing Victoria’s Secret underwear!” Outside, Bobby Brown rolled up with his entourage and posed for pictures with his new girlfriend, Alicia Etheridge. Why did Bobby choose SBTS? “They invited me, I’m not one to really think about where I go, I just go, if there’s a party, I’m going.” According to Brown, he’s gearing up to star in a new TV show, “It’s a reality sketch comedy, and it’s very funny. I’m creating characters for this

Motta, Beatriz, Ambrosio at Stereo By The Shore

show. I get a chance to do a lot of characters and be a lot of people.” Brown is trying to make a career comeback after his tumultuous 14 year long marriage with Whitney Houston ended in September of 2006. Aside from Bobby’s TV show, which he insisted is not based on his life, Bobby is focused on touring a new album. And as for his relationship with Whitney? Brown told me, “Well me and Whitney, were humorous, we’re friends, we have a daughter together, so that’s why we take care of her together. We take care of her and that’s the way it goes.” This past Saturday, SBTS was just as entertaining. British artist and superstar Lily Allen arrived with DJ Mark Ronson. At 2 a.m., Allen and her entourage took the stage and performed their hit song “Smile” for several VIP’s including Tinsley Mortimer and Lizzie Grubman. This coming Saturday, model and socialite Lydia Hearst is scheduled to launch her Puma handbag line. If you’re wondering how to partake in the festivities, Satsky’s has a tip, “Get comfortable with somebody within the SBTS family, because it’s a family environment here and that’s how you get through the doors. Until next week— Life is short, you only live once, so party on! “Entertainment & Feature Correspondent, Director, Writer and Producer, Gina Glickman can be seen Tuesdays, Thursdays and weekends starring on News 12 Long Island’s “What’s Hot in the Hamptons” and log onto www.Hamptons.com for more celebrity action with Gina, on “Main Street” series.

The Gateway to the Hamptons starts at exit 70 A great weekend starts at King Kullen. For your shopping convenience, King Kullen east-end locations include: Bridgehampton • Cutchogue • Center Moriches Eastport • Hampton Bays • Manorville • Riverhead • Wading River King Kullen carries Long Island’s largest variety of Boars Head Products.

DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 54

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DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 56

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ponies,” the Southampton Polo Club is not only a Hamptons institution, but a place where the agricultural nature of the East End continues to flourish. The Southampton Polo Club’s season is now one of the most anticipated sporting events in the Hamptons. And it all started because Frank wanted to play polo with his wife.

(continued from page 41)

of every club from Friday night until early Tuesday morning that weekend. At Stereo by the Beach, the club had reached capacity by 11:30 p.m. — at most clubs in New York City, the door usually gets busy around one a.m. Throngs of people stand outside for hours, begging and bribing to get in, with little success. At Neptune’s in Hampton Bays, Joel remembers, “people stood on line for four hours just to get in, waited for two hours to get a drink at the bar and no one complained. One guy offered me one thousand dollars to let him in the back door.” Bribing never works, but this episode was a telltale sign that, if you like to go out, “it’s gonna be a real good summer.” That was no small statement coming from Rodney, who has spun private parties for P. Diddy and worked at Marquee and other New York City nightclubs for years. When asked which new Hamptons clubs would be really hot this summer, he replied “WhiteHouse. Everyone who goes there

has a great time.” But what about last year’s star, Pink Elephant? “Pink Elephant is more of a lounge,” Joel explained. “People go there to have a drink and relax before they go somewhere else. I think that’s what they’re trying to do and it’s been working really well for them.” Last year’s staples will still be able to coexist with the new glitterati magnets. But who will win this year’s popularity contest? This summer, according to Sean Gallagher, it’s not about one club attracting the most attention. “The clubs aren’t out here to make a killing financially,” he explained. “They’re here to strengthen the brand.” Stereo by the Sea is here to keep Stereo on everyone’s mind, Dune is here marketing for Marquee and Pink Elephant is here spreading the word for Pink Elephant in New York and Chicago. The clubbing web is expanding and the Hamptons are caught right in the middle of it. And what a dazzling, intoxicating web it is.

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DAN'S PAPERS, June 8, 2007 Page 58

Bonackers

(continued from page 44)

her.” An assist should go to Monday’s rain. Due to a wet field, Reale was forced to conduct an indoor practice. It was inside he noticed a mat set up on the floor so he decided to setup a drill in which the players were diving on the mats making catches. “Molly was killing herself; her hips were sore and bloody” Reale said about the freshman’s effort during the diving drill. “It helped.” Nolan’s game saving catch

prevented a last inning run scored by Clarke from doing any damage. First baseman Marta Johann caught a fly ball in the top of the seventh inning to end the game. The Bonackers had reached the bar they set prior to the start of the season. “After losing [in the Long Island Championships last season] 3-2 on an error to Floral Park, our goal was to get to the states,” Reale said. East Hampton last reached the state finals when the Bonackers won the Long Island Championship in 2001. Stavola, who struck out eleven batters, pushing her Long Island strikeout record to 340, said she likes her team’s chances in the one loss elimination, two game Southeast Regional Finals scheduled for Binghamton in Upstate New York on Saturday. “Our coach always tells us the only team that can beat us is ourselves,” Stavola said. “Just one down. Two more to go.”

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4:50

5:35

6:35

7:50

—

9:35

Amagansett East Hampton

4:50 5:00

5:50 6:00

6:20 6:30

6:50 7:00

7:50 8:00

8:50 9:00

9:35 9:45

9:50 10:00

10:50 11:00

11:50 12:00

12:50 1:00

1:50 2:00

1:55 2:05

2:35 2:45

4:05 4:15

4:35 4:45

5:05 5:15

5:50 6:00

6:50 7:00

8:05 8:15

9:05 9:15

9:50 10:00

Wainscott

5:05

6:05

—

7:05

8:05

9:05

—

10:05

11:05

12:05

1:05

2:05

—

2:50

4:25

—

5:20

6:05

7:05